St Louis Sinner Aug 2011

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August - 2011

St Louis’

Seattle’s

The Screaming Starts

UNMASKED

Vampire Mooose The Skeleton Krewe’s

UNMASKED

Carnivale of Curiosities


BIRTHDAY BASHES & SUMMER RASHES

I have too often described Indy Publishing as mental and financial suicide, some obsession with madness which deserves to be capitalized every time it’s printed to produce a point – as our media networks make of “Swimming With Great White Sharks”, “Handling Rattle Snakes In The Name of Jesus”, and even “Addiction”. Their presentations are certainly something to think about. South African diver Mike Rutzen swims with Great White Sharks outside a diving cage, still to this today. Junior G. McCormick is a serpent-handling pastor from Georgia who testifies, “Some people were bit”, yet believes, “God was ready for them and their time had come.” He was bit 14 times by rattlesnakes, copperheads, and water moccasins, and never used anti-venom. He swears that all he had was “Jesus”, and is ready to “go back the next week and take them [serpents] out again.” Maybe the dangers of Indy Publishing that I bear witness to deserves to be downgraded... In comparison to swimming with sharks and handling venomous snakes, maybe indy media is harmless to the body, mind, and soul – or conscious, if that sits better with you than soul. Maybe. Then again, I would argue that Independent Media, and Thought, is quite dangerous. I believe it’s the bastard child of the 1st Amendment, the twisted mind who screams to the gods against all the world’s injustices – the government cover-ups, the silenced voices, the shunned artists. And if you still think Independent Thought isn’t deadly, think of those who killed Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, his kid brother, Robert, and John Lennon. Maybe Free Thought is deadlier than swimming with great white sharks, rattle snakes, and even sucking dick for crack or meth. Maybe. But for all those who survive the deadly encounters of sharks, snakes, meth and indy publishing, some whack friend or wife of theirs is certain to throw them an unexpected Birthday Bash. And that can be worse than all of the above. I will testify to that. I’ve been a victim too many times to call it a coincidence. Last year it was at the Beacon Pub for Al Swacker’s karaoke show. Somehow a covert plan to drag me up on stage by Al and a number of strangers to sing “I Get By With A Little Help Of My Friends” was executed with precise precision. Drunken resistance was futile. The year before something the same happened in Seattle, a surprise bash at our local dive-bar. This year even my favorite bartender, Sean from Club 34 (or now Club 34-Below, with below freezing temperatures with their new AC) got involved in this mass circus of public embarrassment. All this Evil is the root of one mad woman, my wife. I guess my ramble of a point is, that without swimming these dangerous waters, I would have never celebrated such an experience. And life is too short to not cross the line of danger and madness every once in a while. I hope the question now is, what does Birthday Bashes have to do with Summer Rashes? Unfortunately for many Indy Publishers few summer Birthday Bashes come with out Rashes. Too many Indy Publishers have day Jobs to support their passion for covering the local scene and injustices of the world. Too many of us take on jobs of manual labor which produce sweat so immensely that our nuts and asses burn from rawness by lunch. Last year my poison was concrete, this year it’s cleaning windows. Whether you make it, or break it, or clean it not matter. At a 120-degree heat index melting your brain, you almost die. What’s sickening is, whether your passion be building, cleaning, or publishing, not really matter anymore. The system is geared and oiled against dreamers. Maybe that aspect of modern day America isn’t suicidal or deadly as I often complain, but it’s certainly frustrating. Well, as, my old compadre, Hippie, would say, “Welcome to my world, Bitch!!!” And that certainly deserves capitals. I guess by now ME head has began to spin and ME stomach to sput vomit and spew ass, but a great Bash of any sorts will have those effects on the typical the average Sinner like myself. So let me tell you before I pass out about some very Smashing Events coming up... and even a few Dents we’re bangin’ out of this little bastard of a publication... Let me start with the most important: TOCO (Tapestry of Community Offerings), which assists regional families & children in need through green and community partnerships. Need I really say more to compel you to purchase a ticket, other than when and where? I should hope not. A series of pre-fund raisers begin in August on Monday,the 15th from with STAR-TENDERS CARLA & ROCKIN RHONDA FUNDRAISER AT THE SHANTI! In their own words, “Get your cocktail for a cause!” Then on Tuesday, August 16th from 5:30 - 9:00 pm it’s RIVER CITY PROFESSIONALS 9TH ANNIVERSARY FEATURING TOCO at Four Seasons Hotel St. Louis (999 N. 2nd St.) which is sponsored by Peroni. Then on August 20th it’s TYE-DYE WITH KDHX & DREA AT THE SHANTI! Of course, I have to mention ST. LOUIS’ 2011 PIN-UP GIRL OF THE YEAR COMPETITION at The Way Out Club on Thursday, August 11. The Sinner has gotten behind this one and is offering our Front cover to the winner! And if you’re into sinful art and entertainment at its best, then you’ll want to catch THE SKELETON KREWE’S CARNIVALE OF CURIOSITIES on Saturday, August 13 at Koken Art Factory. There’s more on that inside this issue. I saved the wildest for last, the pre-party at DB’s Sports Bar for THE SCAM, NASHVILLE PUSSY, AND DWARVES’ SHOW. Man, this is going to be the show to catch in August! If there’s one thing you can expect from The SCAM as an opener, is they’ll set the bar for NASHVILLE PUSSY and DWARVES really fuckin’ high! I’d hate to follow these clowns on stage, even if I was Marilyn Manson. And you can catch this show on Sunday, August 14th at Old Rock House. I tell you one thing, I’d hate to be the poor bastard who has to clean up this mess! I’m sure at 6:52 am I have forgotten a few events and made several errors, as usual, but I believe we’re on the road to bang a few of those dents out soon. We have just picked up a fine copy editor, Professor Jon Thrower. And that’s one thing that will make Indy Publishing feel a little more like simple publishing! Well readers, that’s just another tale of fear and publishing in two cities....

SMASHING EVENTS & BANGIN' OUT DENTS

WRITERS, RANTERS, OPINIONISTS & OTHER ALL-OUT FREAKS: Mark Taylor-Canfield Paul Blow Lucifer Saab Lofton Malice Henry Nicolle Stu Kimberly Peters Emily Eufinger The Surley Gourmand

Guitar Doug Carrie Meyer Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid Kendra Holliday Joe Motor Jeff Meyer Adam Green Gina Simon

Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels Cover Art: Gina Simon

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. Their opinions, rants and ideas do not necessarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself. The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission.

FOR ADVERTISING OR SUBMISSION INFORMATION, CONTACT US AT CHUCK@THESEATTLESINNER.COM. SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS THE 25TH OF EVERY MONTH.



The Corporate Gospel According To MTC As I write this, the US government is on the brink of a major economic disaster. Voting to raise the national debt ceiling, the Congress has simply delayed the inevitable by putting off the financial crisis until the year 2012. Currently the Chinese government is financing one-anda-half-trillion dollars of the US debt ($1,500,000,000). Japan has loaned us $820 billion and we owe the UK $272 billion. Washington State Congressman Jim McDermott and Independent member of Congress Bernie Sanders voted against the last minute budget agreement. They claim the legislation targets the working class and the poor while requiring no sacrifices from major corporations or the wealthiest residents of the US. Sanders described the bi-partisan budget agreement this way: “What does this agreement ask the richest people in the country to contribute to the effort to decrease the debt? It asks them to contribute absolutely nothing!” The Republicans and the Tea Party are opposed to the idea of raising any new revenue through the elimination of tax exemptions for the upper class and corporations, or by the creation of new taxes or tariffs. This political stance seems frivolous when one considers the fact that the US currently has some of the lowest tax rates in the world. (Mexico and Chile are the only countries which have lower rates of taxation than the United States of America!) Banking scandals, billion dollar government bailouts to big corporations, and two seemingly endless wars have created mass skepticism amongst the people. Most Americans do not believe that their representatives in government are serving the public interest. According to the latest polls, the national approval rating for the US Congress is at an all-time low of only 14%. The Bush tax cuts for the wealthy and the billions of dollars spent on war have bankrupted the nation. If these factors were eliminated from the equation, our national debt would be reduced by almost 75%. Meanwhile, the IMF and World Bank are licking their chops in anticipation of a possible takeover of the US economy if the country defaults on its debts. Already, global financial institutions are saying that the credit rating of US treasury bonds will most likely be downgraded as a result of the US government’s failure to adequately deal with the situation in a timely manner. The result will be higher interest rates, adding billions to the already skyrocketing deficit. Our creditors will demand more interest on their loans. It will be more difficult for people to obtain loans in the United States, leading to business failures and higher rates of unemployment. More families will lose their homes to foreclosure by banks. The government will lose tax revenue due to the bankruptcy of commercial enterprises, and the lack of personal incomes among the unemployed. Funding for social services, education, transportation, the arts, and healthcare will be cut to the bone through severe austerity measures reminiscent of the slash and burn budget policies currently being forced on Greece by the EU, IMF and World Bank. Many political and economic observers believe that the entire world financial crisis is nothing but an artificial scheme manufactured by an elite group of bankers and corporations for their own benefit. It can not be denied that the price of gold increases every time the US dollar is devalued. Economic crises are good for disaster capitalists who thrive on the misfortune of others. Folks who own substantial quantities of gold are literally celebrating their good fortune. Oil companies are making record profits during this supposed economic crisis. Corporations investing in intelligence gathering and private security are making billions of dollars from the “War on Terror”. Much like earlier economic panics in the US (18181819, 1837, 1857, 1873, 1929, etc.), this present malaise has been caused by the usual factors – overexpansion, greed, corruption, and mistrust. As a history text book written by D.H. Montgomery in 1909 explains: “Such periods occur in business, especially after

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several years of great activity and speculation ending in reckless investments and loss…There may be as much money in the country as before; but it has shifted into the hands of a few, and they are afraid to use it themselves, or to let others use it.” It is in the interest of major corporations to limit social services. They are constantly promoting the privatization of schools, mass transit, and healthcare insurance. In their eyes, democracy is a major hindrance to their efforts to control governments around the world. Due to a recent US Supreme Court decision, these business

written by Mark Taylor-Canfield

fascist propaganda and paramilitary police. Whether this is true or not, it is clear that the immorality and especially the greed inherent in monopoly capitalism have caused a great deal of suffering and woe on the planet. The values of this type of crass corporate culture has infected every area of our daily lives. Gone are the local mom and pop shops, along with any real sense of community or mutual responsibility. In their place are huge mega chain stores and suburban isolation. A common saying among those involved in the corruption is: “If you aren’t cheating, you’re not trying hard

earth. Even for the wealthy elite it is an unsustainable program in the face of diminishing natural resources, not to mention the potentially deadly effects of large scale environmental devastation. I do not consider myself an “anti-capitalist”. That definition is far too limited for my wide ranging opinions. I am simply reporting on what is happening in our country, which is my solemn duty as a journalist. However, I do question the current form of monopoly capitalism wherein a handful of power individuals and corporations influence government policy and rule the world. In light of its many failures, and the negative effects it has had on the planet, I feel it is necessary for me to codify the essential teachings of this world-wide religion. I have titled the following religious document “The Corporate Gospel.” “Blessed Are The Rich For They Shall Inherit The Earth.” “Blessed Are The Greedy For They Shall Be The Protectors Of Capitalism.” “Blessed Are The War Makers, For They Shall Ensure Access To Natural Resources And Secure Global Corporate Power.” “Blessed Are The Right-Wing Christian Fundamentalists (Pharisees), For They Shall Restrict Free Thought And Preach Hatred Against The Enemies Of Corporate Imperialism.” “Blessed Are The Stockholders, For They Shall Provide Venture Capital For Major Economic Enterprises.” “Blessed Are The CEOs, For They Shall Convince The Stockholders To Invest Their Money Even During Periods Of Overexpansion And Decreasing Stock Value.” “Blessed Are The Federal Reserve, The International Bankers And The Global Money Changers, For They Shall Control Economic Power And Make Sure That Most Of The Currency And Gold Stays In The Hands Of The Wealthiest One Percent Of The Population.” “Blessed are The World Trade Organization, The International Monetary Fund and The World Bank, For They Shall Govern The World And Ensure Global Corporate Dominance.” “Blessed Are The Politicians And Government Officials, For They Shall Be Servants Of Corporate Empire, Oppress The Poor, And Eliminate The Middle Class.” “Blessed Are The Commercial Media, For They Shall Control People’s Minds And Hypnotize them Into Submission To The Corporate Globalist Agenda.” “Blessed Are The Pharmaceutical Companies, For They Shall Provide A Safeguard Against Revolution By Dulling The Senses of The People, Eliminating Social Resistance To Anti-Democratic Propaganda.” “Blessed Are The Food Manufacturers and Chemical Producers, For They Shall Spread Nutritional Famine And Disease Amongst The People, Enriching The Healthcare Industry And Controlling The Population Increase Of Humans Who Lack Wealth And Privilege.”

interests will be allowed to buy the next election through unlimited campaign contributions and unaccountable millions spent on smear tactics through the use of blatantly false campaign advertising. According to the conspiracy buffs, this present crisis is designed to establish the “New World Order” – a new global power structure controlled by corporate interests. They say this new balance of power includes the suppression of democratic movements through the use of

enough.” In fact, this unethical corporate culture is much like a religion which has spread to every area of the globe, promising material salvation to billions of people. The missionaries are everywhere. Using mass media, the corporate gospel is being preached far and wide in a fanatical campaign to take over the world. Unfortunately this kind of capitalism is completely unattainable for the majority of the population of the

“Blessed Are The Scientists, For They Shall Ensure Capitalist Supremacy And Eliminate Competition Through The Invention Of Weapons Of Mass Destruction And Genetically Modified Organisms.” “Blessed Are NAFTA, GATT, And The FTAA, For These Treaties Eliminate The Concept Of National Sovereignty, Promote The Outsourcing Of Millions Of Jobs, And Allow For The Unregulated Destruction Of The Global Environment In The Pursuit Of Greater Profits.”

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StoptheDrugWar.org New Drugs Get Same Old Response on Capitol Hill By Phillip Smith

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onfronted with the rising popularity of new synthetic drugs, Congress is responding in a reflexive prohibitionist manner. Last month, bills aimed at banning the substances moved forward in Congress, despite the protests of advocates and businessmen that lawmakers are simply repeating the mistakes of drug prohibition. The bills are aimed at two distinct classes of designer drugs -- synthetic cannabinoids or fake marijuana sold under names such as Spice and K2, and the synthetic methcathinone derivatives mephedrone and MDVP commonly sold as “bath salts” under names such as Ivory Wave that produce a high likened to those of cocaine, methamphetamine, or ecstasy. A number of states have moved against fake weed or bath salts or both. In action earlier this year, the DEA imposed a temporary emergency ban on fake weed, but it has not moved yet against bath salts. Now, Congress is poised to get in on the action. H.R. 1254, the Synthetic Drug Control Act of 2011 and its Senate companion bill, S. 605 would make both fake marijuana and bath salts Schedule I controlled substances, like LSD, heroin, and marijuana. They also attempt to block new designer drugs by banning whole classes of similar chemical compounds. And they seek to expand the period for which the DEA can impose an emergency ban on a new drug, which the agency did earlier this year with synthetic cannabinoids. That bill was moving in House committees last week. Two other bills that would do essentially the same thing have also been filed in the Senate. They are S. 409, introduced by Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) and S. 839, sponsored by Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN). These bills, though, are aimed only at bath salts. (An additional House bill, H.R. 1571, identified by the Library of Congress legislative tracking system as related to S. 409, has not moved out of committee.) The bath salts drugs have been associated with spectacular bad reactions, including increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, agitation, hallucinations, extreme paranoia and delusions, and some reports of violent behavior. Fake weed has been associated with less dangerous bad reactions, including confusion, nausea and panic attacks. The American Association of Poison Control Centers warned in May that it had seen a nine-fold increase in bath salts-related calls over the previous year, and that was with less than half the year gone. Last year, centers reported 302 calls; as of May of this year, they had received more than 2,200 calls. That would clearly seem to suggest that use of bath salts is on the rise, but what it means beyond that is not so clear. Without a handle on actual use levels, it is difficult to determine how frequent such adverse reactions are, or how they compare to reported adverse events with other drugs. Still, Mark Ryan, director of the Louisiana Poison Center, said the substances are the worst he has seen in 20 years at the poison center. “These products create a very severe paranoia that we believe could cause users to harm themselves or others,” he said. Oddly enough, for drugs that are touted as being so horrible, evidence from Britain suggests that somebody likes them quite a bit. According to a report last month in the Guardian, which cited recently released scientific research, “Mephedrone is more popular among UK clubbers than ecstasy despite being banned.” “The legal status wasn’t considered important,” said Fiona Measham, a criminology lecturer who led the research. “Among the people we spoke to, I was surprised how much they liked it, how much they enjoyed it. They wanted to take more and were prepared to seek it out and buy it on the illegal market.”

But Congress isn’t paying attention to foreign researchers. In a statement typical of congressional discourse on the issue, in a hearing last week, Rep. Charles Dent (R-PA), the sponsor of HB 1254, first listed a number of anecdotal scare stories, then proceeded to warn his colleagues that the drugs were not innocent. “These substances are marketed with innocent sounding names,” he said, “but these labels are total misnomers designed to facilitate their legal sale. These drugs have no legitimate medicinal or industrial purposes.” “We are in a new era of drugs,” said Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA), as she prepared to deal with them with the same tired approach Congress has taken with other drugs -- by banning them. There is a better way, said reform advocates and representative of trade groups. “Lawmakers are poised to repeat mistakes from the past by creating ineffective laws that will criminalize more people and drive these substances into the illicit market,” said Grant Smith, federal policy coordinator with the Drug Policy Alliance. “History has clearly shown that prohibiting a drug makes it more dangerous, not less. Instead of more failed drug prohibition, Congress would be much more successful with an approach that restricts how these drugs are marketed, provides comprehensive drug education, and has strict age controls. To best reduce the harms of these drugs, Congress should instead support rigorous scientific study to better understand what is in these products, and establish a robust system of regulation and control of the synthetic drug market.” “This application of the law is irresponsible,” said Daniel Francis, executive director of the Retail Compliance Association, which represents retail outlets that sell (or sold) K2 as he addressed HB 1264. “It is the most irresponsible thing a lawmaker can do, an act of prohibition. I hope they wear the responsibility of the consequences of these acts on their minds forever. This law will force even less understood compounds into the market.” “This legislation comes at a time when Washington is seeking to reduce federal spending. Yet, enforcing a federal ban on synthetic drugs isn’t going to be cheap and we already know from marijuana prohibition that this approach won’t work,” said Smith. “The irony is that the only reason that people use synthetic marijuana is because the real thing is illegal. But passage of this legislation will only further escalate the war on drugs, send more people to jail, exacerbate health harms, and ignore four decades of comprehensive research and review that confirms the war on drugs approach has failed,” he added. “The bill covers some potential ingredients in herbal incense products, by no means all, and these ingredients are invisible, no one, no police officer, or retailer can tell what is in the product, if it is legal or not, and this law provides no direction whatsoever in how one is to determine this,” pointed out Francis. The Retail Compliance Association, which sent a letter of concern to Congress about the issue in April, expects that its efforts to block passage of HB 1264 this year will be in vain. But that doesn’t mean it is rolling over and playing dead. Instead, the group said it is forming a coalition to file a legal challenge to the bill “immediately after it passes.” It has taken decades to get past the hysteria and fear-mongering surrounding traditional drugs, and that is a task that is by no means completed. It would be nice if we didn’t have to go through the same sort of rigmarole with these new designer drugs, but we do. At least this time around, there are people around from the beginning who and willing to stand and fight.

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ESSAY DEMOCRATIC TREACHERY by Henry Nicolle Does anyone remember the book None Dare Call It Treason? The book was authored and promoted by America’s politically incorrect “Radical Right Wingers”. For the benefit of the illiteratti of modern America, the underlying premise of the title is that when treason succeeds and the ambitions of the treacherous are fulfilled, the supporters of the old order must yield, submit to the new. Continued accusations of treason become criminal libel and rebellion. Another old saw goes something like this, “When the government is wrong, it is a crime to be right.” We do not suffer from totally corrupt institutions, but we have no rational expectations for lawful conduct by our institutions or by the men and women who are the living avatars of our governing power. It is my opinion that we really do have a philosophy of Liberty for self governing and our federal Constitution expresses the essence of useful and effective processes to preserve our individual Rights and Liberty. I see our modern problem defined as our individual abandonment of self-determination and adoption of a self-destructive “go along to get along” complaisance. Most of us in America today do not agree with my characterization of our societal malaise. When I complain that we are not allowed to act, speak, travel, own property, worship (or not) or engage in any conduct except under the eye and control of the men and women who no longer serve our liberty, I am excoriated as unrealistic and naive. I am always disappointed with my fellow Americans’ rejection of Liberty. They acknowledge the insufferable abuses, but when challenged to resist the abuse of individual Rights, they insist that submission to tyranny has no effect upon their Rights and Liberty. From their perspective, I cannot disagree. They have bought the ideas of structured liberty and social indebtedness. Structured liberty means that the superior needs of society and central policy have the authority, duty and power to reduce individual choices to only those which are deemed productive or harmless. (Read that to mean productive for the ambitions of the policy-makers and harmless to the myriads of policy implementers and enforcers.) We are free to move about, but only by prescribed methods, at prescribed times and for “authorized” purposes and in most cases, after paying for the privilege or voluntarily leasing and subscribing to abuse of our Rights and Liberty. We may walk about, but only within certain geographical limits. We may not sit to rest, or sleep where we please during our walk. If we travel by mechanical means, insult is stacked upon abuse and if we do not submit, our mechanical means are taken from us, our access to commercial means are restricted or denied and our Liberty is “managed” for the good of society and the policies of our central planners. Our private property is regulated, taxed and controlled by the mechanics of local and central government. Nothing can belong to you without submission to arbitrary policies and of course, payment of taxes, fees and leasing agreements. (Leasing agreements are those government demands for payments at regular intervals which allow you to have continuous use of a particular property, such as your car or house. Do not pay the “lease” and your property will vanish into the pot of excess public property disposal.) We do not perceive these abuses because we are inured to their pain. These and innumerable other related items antagonistic to individual Rights and Liberty are the progeny of ambitious men and women and abuse of the “democratic process”. Our central governing policies are developed by faceless men and women and imposed upon us through the false faces of our representatives and officials and violently enforced by our friends, family members and neighbors. We have cooperated and encouraged our abusers. “May we have some more, please?” Until today, few of us understand Liberty and virtually all of us will have nothing of it, thank you. We are comfortable with what we have and do not care for the tribulations of selfdiscipline and self-determination. Our authority to self-govern is gone. We cannot speak, write, communicate or assemble without permission, permit, insurance and regulated and supervised conduct. Our power to enforce our authority to revise, replace or remove our government has been emasculated by managed denial of our right to keep and bear arms and to prohibition to train in their effective use. Our Right to property has been rendered moot. Our labor is not our own. If we create a dollar of wealth, more than half is taken from us by violent theft via taxation and by multitudes of fees, fines and indirect assessments. Our central government can take all we have, if they can take any part. Your democratic vote confirms your submission.

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The Future Of Humanity’s Ecomomy, Part II written by Saab Lofton “Social action must be animated by a vision of a future society.” – Professor Noam Chomsky And as visions of the future go, it doesn’t get any better than Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek. Unfortunately, given the extent to which laissez-faire capitalism (otherwise known as Reaganomics) is CURRENTLY dominant in America, Roddenberry’s vision is under attack because it depicts the Human race as having abolished poverty, and obviously, a libertarian has less than zero interest in THAT. What’s worse, it’s also assailed from within since Roberto Orci – one of the screenwriters behind the 2009 Star Trek remake – said during a Q&A with fans that, “there’s money, or some kind of credit system in this [version].” Fucking disgusting! By trying to pander to the LOWEST common denominator, Orci not only went against one of Roddenberry’s most important edicts, but he’s depriving the impoverished of a much needed source of HOPE. Life is all about having something to look forward to – call it a carrot-on-astick, if you will, but it’s as Bill Maher wisely stated in the documentary, Religulous... “If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on Earth while we’re here?” I mean, really! Trekkies can imagine bizarre creatures, far-fetched technology and mysterious stellar anomalies, but when it comes to imagining a future Earth devoid of poverty, all of a sudden these motherfuckers come down with a bad case of writer’s block? As the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live would say, “how convenient (for the taxphobic corporate elite, that is)!” For those of you who don’t know the show very well, Roddenberry made it quite clear from the onset that Starfleet and the United Federation of Planets (the good guys, by the way) are commies. Captain Picard: The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of Humanity. – from the movie, Star Trek: First Contact Gillian Taylor: Don’t tell me they don’t use money in the 23rd century. Captain Kirk: Well, we doN’T. – from the movie, Star Trek: The Voyage Home... ...and though Roddenberry himself wasn’t what one would call a revolutionary, he did express the following sentiment in his 1991 interview with David Alexander from The Humanist. “I’ve never been motivated by money: I wouldn’t write a script differently if someone said they would give me $20,000 more for good will or whatever.” ...and then there’s THIS... Roddenberry: The censorship we had in the early days was related to skin and kisses and the like. That level of censorship

would not be acceptable today because audiences are becoming more educated. However, the truly serious things that we can be censored about are criticism about the military-industrial complex and advertising. You have to tread very carefully around advertising because it uses television to whet appetites and sell products. You’ve got to be careful about that. The Humanist: Corporate interests? Roddenberry: Corporate interests, the possibility that Russia might be a little bit right in some things it does. ...A LITTLE BIT, as in the effort to abolish poverty – and before any inbred retards from the Tea Party cry Stalin, keep in mind Scandinavia has managed to have BOTH free expression AND free social services withOUT unraveling the fabric of the space-time continuum. “Twenty years ago when people here thought about socialism they were thinking about the Soviet Union... Now they think about Scandinavia. In Vermont people understand I’m talking about democratic socialism.” – U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders, November 2nd, 2006, The Guardian (UK) However, to evade the issue, all too many claim that the food producing replicators used by Star Trek’s characters are supposedly the reason why there’s no poverty. WRONG! Check out this scene from the pilot episode of the series, Star Trek: Enterprise ... Captain Archer: If you’d been on Earth fifty years ago, I think you’d be impressed by what we’ve gotten done. Commander T’Pol: You have yet to embrace either patience or logic. Chief Engineer Tucker: Yeah? How about war, disease, hunger? Pretty much wiped ‘em out in less than two generations. Star Trek: Enterprise is set in the 2150s – at least a century in the storyline BEFORE the first appearance of a replicator; Archer, T’Pol and Tucker ate in a GALLEY run by a CHEF, which means Earth HAD to have shared its wealth in order to account for the aforementioned. Also too, Orci’s remake is set AFTER this point – so if his sorry ass ever attempts to claim that the Human race supposedly reverted back to capitalistic savagery, go to South Africa and ask if anyone (who’s darker than a shopping bag) would prefer to revert to apartheid. I’ll end on this note... Captain Archer: For thousands of years, my people had similar problems. We fought three world wars that almost destroyed us. Whole generations were nearly wiped out. Kolos: What changed? Captain Archer: A few courageous people began to realize they could make a difference. – from an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise entitled “Judgment”. ... be COURAGEOUS.


PRE-EVENT FUNDRAISERS Monday, August 15th from 5-9pm STAR-TENDERS CARLA & ROCKIN RHONDA FUNDRAISER AT THE SHANTI! In their own words, “Get your cocktail for a cause!” Tuesday, August 16th from 5:30 - 9:00 pm RIVER CITY PROFESSIONALS 9TH ANNIVERSARY FEATURING TOCO Four Seasons Hotel St. Louis (999 N. 2nd St.) Sponsored by Peroni August 20th TYE-DYE WITH KDHX & DREA AT THE SHANTI!

St Louis, MO

St Louis, MO

Aug 11th - The Last Internationale / Torch Burner / Go Fight Win / Velcro Mindset / Cardiac Kidz Aug 12th - Marcia Griffiths Aug 16th - Open Mic Aug 19th - Mayhem Aug 20th - Hemp Fest After Party Aug 21st - Mourning Market Aug 23rd - Open Mic

Aug 25th - Metal At Motor with Execution Aug 26th - SST Aug 27th - Super Power RAVE Aug 30th - Open Mic


by Joe Motor

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o, you think you are free, think again. Most Americans are slaves to money and to banks. If you are buying a house, you are paying banks a lot of interest, as are most of those with nice cars, and a lot of other things get put on plastic. Most of us have bank accounts and we pay fees to use our own money. We also pay taxes, much of that tax goes to pay interest on loans, because Democrats and Republicans in government both spend like drunken sailors. We have been conditioned to think this is normal. It is a trap and most of us are caught in it. People stress over their credit rating, as if it defines them as a person. The average American spends a large percent of their income on interest, especially when you factor in taxes collected, to pay interest on the 14 trillion dollar debt. Between 20-25 % of all income tax collected, goes toward interest on this debt. Most of this interest goes to banks, mainly the Federal Reserve, and who do you think controls these banks? Banks follow their own set of rules and the odds are always stacked in their favor. They take no risk, like a real business, or like the people and business's they prey on. They are vultures, they know most people have to deal with them, and therefore, they can treat us like shit. Have you ever been treated like shit by a bank? Banking is huge business and we are their slaves, much more so than the generations before us. As a business owner I have to deal with banks. I can not cash a check made out to my business, without a bank account, it's the law. I can deposit it into my account though. A man that used to work for me refused to use banks, so to cash his checks he had to pay a fee. He always asked for a receipt and they refused. He wanted to use it for tax deduction reasons. When I questioned my bank, they informed me that they did not have to give him a receipt, legally. I guess there is no record of this money. Do you think they are paying tax on all those fees they collect. When I asked if they could just cash his check for free, they said "no". I guess that's what he gets for not having an account. They were going to make money on him one way or another. As a business man, if I refused to give receipts to customers, I'm sure I would hear about it from some agency. Now, let's look at the Federal Reserve (FED), which by the way is privately owned, most people don't realize this. They print our money, as much as they want, providing they lend it out (charging interest). There has not been gold to back up the money they print since 1971. They control interest rates and they answer to no one, not even Congress. The FED was set up, with Congress's approval in 1913, began loaning money to the federal government and others. Who owns the FED, you ask? Research it and you'll find the Rothschild's, Rockefeller's, J.P. Morgan & Co., Bank of England (also privately owned), and the list goes on. These are the men that truly run the world and it's leaders. Politicians love to spend more than they can collect in taxes and the Federal Reserve is more than happy to lend them money, by simply printing it. Capitalism in theory is a great thing, you work harder than the next guy, you get more. It inspires people to excel, to invent and to make life better. However, Capitalism always seems to expand, creating bubbles that pop, leading to recessions and depressions. At this point, some think socialism looks good, but socialism inspires laziness, and it ruins the spirit to achieve great-

ness, because it takes away the reward. I see nothing wrong with being rich, if you work your ass off, and are smart about it, you deserve wealth. People should be pissed at government, banks, and other corrupt institutions. It seems many are pissed at the rich and want wealth redistribution. This will not solve our problems, nor is it fair, because not all wealth is evil, neither are all corporations or individuals. A perfect example of wealth redistribution gone bad is the so-called stimulus plan. Bankers and Wall Street were bailed out and money even went overseas. The scheme failed to fix the economy and drove us deeper in debt. The money should have been spent fixing bridges, roads, damns and other infrastructure, thus creating real jobs. A real stimulus plan that puts people to work could help the economy, but using tax money to fund it would not benefit banks, and they pull the strings behind the scenes. Maybe, what we need a little anarchy to shake things up, My grandfather was an anarchist, in my opinion, although he never claimed to be one. He paid taxes, worked hard, and he got ahead. Then, when he was in his thirties, he quit his union welding job. He bought some land with a house and a few small build-

ings. He started working for most of the farmers in the area. He welded, he rebuilt engines and he made things out of metal. He grew his own food and he always worked for cash, or bartered. He never paid income tax again, nor did he deal with banks. He worked till he was quite old, almost until he passed away. He felt income tax was unfair and that the federal government was a joke. He always said, "they are all a bunch of liars". So, he quit paying the bastards, as he would say. He was more an anarchist than any of those that put on masks and break windows. Technically, bartering is illegal. We are required to report and pay tax on these deals. Of course, failure to report and pay income tax is, if not the law, still required, just ask those in Jail. The only way to stop being a slave to money, is to stop participating. Do you think my grandfather lost any sleep over his new way of life? I wish I had followed in his footsteps, when I was a younger man. Oh well, like they say, it's never to late!


Who are the most ANNOYING celebrities of modern times? Here I will list five celebrities that make me cringe, wretch and gag every time they pop up on the TV screen, newspapers, magazines, or worse yet... the internet. These are the celebrities that I really wish would shut up and go away, live quiet lives, and quit annoying the holy heck out of me and my good sensibilities. This list was originally a “top ten” list but I have condensed it down to five due to space limitations, so without further ado, here are the worst of the worst celebrities: Danny Bonaduce: Danny Bonaduce’s claim to fame is that he played the part of Danny Partridge on The Partridge Family back in the 1970s. Nowadays he makes his living as resident “former child actor whose life was screwed up by his early fame” on numerous TV shows, and he seems to pop up everywhere making cameos and guest appearances, usually on lame cable TV programs. I’ll tell you this much: I loved The Partridge Family and Danny Partridge was a cute little redhead kid, but Danny Bonaduce is NOT cute anymore and every time he pops up on some lame TV show I vomit a little bit in my mouth. Snooki: (Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi) Let me put this right out there for you: I don’t watch much TV and I don’t have cable. I really should not even know who Snooki is, except for the fact that she is EVERYWHERE on the internet, usually due to her drunken shenanigans. I understand she “stars” in a reality TV show about Italian guidos and bimbos in New Jersey... that’s great, just what we need. In a way Snooki is kind of hot, but on the other hand she’s a short and dumpy fugly woman with bad manners. That’s just the impression I get from seeing her on the internet. And the name “Snooki”... what’s up with that? “Snooki” is the name you give your pet cat or small dog. Please wake me up when Snooki’s fifteen minutes are over. WOOF! Paris Hilton: Yeah, Paris Hilton is a skinny, blonde hottie with rich parents. She parties. She makes internet porn videos. She parties some more. She’s rich. She parties. She had her own reality TV show for a brief spell. Did I mention she has rich parents? These are the reasons Paris Hilton is a celebrity, and I for one do not give a shiznit about her. Yeah, I’d do her in a heart beat if I had the chance, but still—she’s just a rich, spoiled brat. There are millions of other hot women on this planet who do much more than party and make internet porn videos, but you never hear about them because they don’t have super rich parents. The good news is that when Paris Hilton gets older and loses her looks she will fade away into obscurity... hopefully! Charlie Sheen: I originally intended to put Charlie Sheen a lot lower on my list as he’s been in the news so often in the past year for his problems with drugs, alcohol, prostitutes, and cars, but since he’s been making so much noise as of late he has been boosted up in my rankings. Hey now, I love Charlie Sheen as an actor—especially his dead-pan comedic acting in flicks such as Scary Movie 3 and 4—and I used to think he was a cool guy, but after his recent lunatic rantings and ravings that have been making the news everywhere, I have to say I am SICK of Charlie Sheen and his over-saturated, gigantic ego. The man actually believes he has super powers and is superior to the rest of us losers, and if I hear the phrase “Tiger Blood” one more time I am going to freak out, invade the nearest Blockbuster video store, and destroy every copy of Platoon. Pee-wee Herman: By far and without a doubt, Pee-wee Herman (real name Paul Reubens) is the most annoying celebrity and/or character of all time. This man just plain gives me the creeps! I mean, just look at the dude: Everything about Peewee Herman is creepy and annoying, from the way he dresses, his face, his bow tie, his hairstyle, his voice, his cackling laugh... I guess that covers it all. Plus the fact that Pee-wee Herman was arrested in 1991 for masturbating in an adult movie theater seals the deal. I would love to say that the bad publicity from that arrest ruined his career and removed him from the limelight forever, but Pee-wee Herman has resurrected himself as of late with his own Broadway stage show... GAG!!!!

New book by Paul Diamond Blow

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---------------------------AUGUST-------------------------TUESDAY AUGUST 9th Flying Fortress; The Last Internationale (NY); Vile Display Of Humanity; Sugar Burger @ The 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW 21+, 9pm, $5

THURSDAY OCTOBER 6th The Goddamn Gallows; Jake Orvis & The Broken Band; James Hunnicutt; Gutter Gourmet; + guests @ The Funhouse 206 5th Ave N 21+, 9pm, $7

FRIDAY AUGUST 19th Hard Fall Hearts (CA); Rats In The Grass; + guests @ The 2Bit Saloon 4818 17th Ave NW 21+, 9pm, $6

SATURDAY OCTOBER 8th The Chop Tops (Santa Cruz rockabilly legends); Hard Money Saints; Craic Haus (LA); Spiderface; Piston Ready @ Chop Suey 1325 E Madison St 21+, 8pm, $10adv/$12 at door

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 2nd The Deadneks (WV); The F-Holes; + guests @ Tony V’s Garage 1712 Hewitt Ave in Everett 21+, 9pm, $5

Stayed tuned for a lot more tasty shows to be announced soon including SEATTLE SKA FEST, CHAOSPALOOZA and SEATTLE PSYCHOBILLY BRAWL! www.facebook.com/local.chaos.greg www.twitter.com/localchaosshows www.localchaosproductions.com www.myspace.com/localchaosproductions

BOOK OF THE MONTH: Since Oprah has retired, I am officially taking over her “book of the month” duties, and my first pick is none other than my brand new book: Tales From Outer Space, which is a collection of my best articles, ramblings, blogs and bulletins posted on various internet websites over the years (some which have also run in the Sinner), my “greatest hits,” if you will, remastered for the year 2011 and beyond. This book contains all my wit, my wisdom, my philosophy—my zen—compacted down to 202 pages of cherry pie heaven for the eyeballs. The book also contains over 90 photos and pieces of art I’ve collected over the years as a rock musician. If you dig the stuff I’ve been writing in my “Huggy Talk” column, you will dig the book. It is available for purchase online through my personal website at paulblow.tripod.com. Tales from Outer Space is currently on the “best smellers” list at Barnes and Stables, and I will be celebrating the release of the book with a series of readings and signing parties in various dive bars in the Seattle area, TBA on my Facebook page. DIG IT!

myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner


Photos by Ricky Sherman On July 23rd st. Louis’ infamous gang of Zombie Killers ganged up to fight a far more threatening issue that braineating zombies, Hunger. This food drive was supported by PBR, History Channel and Operation Food Search. And featured local acts like Strawfoot, Dicegrinder, Bill Forness and Jesse Irwin.

5226 Gravois, Saint Louis

Check out zombiehunters.org for more info


Club Motor 7/8/11 Tina D Photography

8/11 Thurs - TITS, Palaniuk, The Randalls, Nod Off 8/12 Fri - Shak’n Michael J, Uninvited, Dyslexic 33 8/13 Sat - Rich Evans Birthday w/Dickey Moe, Ancient Warlocks, Indecisive Rythem + End of the night covers jam with Mr Creosote & the Wafer Thin Mints

SuperGirl featuring Joe Motor

8/14 Sun - Jeff Matz Pre-Wedding Party,Dirtworshipper, Black Queen, Into The Storm 3pm 8/15 Mon - Metal Mondays w/ Tunsa Fun, Machina Mageddon, Forge of War, Metal Mark, $5 8/17 Wed - Backfire 4pm 8/18 Thurs - The Quintessentials, Alder, At The Spine 8/19 Fri - HARD FALL HEARTS (CA), THE TWANGSHIFTERS (Portland) + guests 8/20 Sat - Willow Collective, Buildings on Moon, Crimany

Tiger Lounge 7/8/11

8/22 Mon - Metal Mondays w/ The Purpose Being, Atisa, Goat Castle, Onset the Shores $5 8/25 Thurs - Dead Language, Flying Fortress,The Bitter Roots 8/26 Fri - 2 Bit Benefits w/Schmidtaholics, Supernaughty, Plaster, Triple Sixes, Piston Ready Show starts at 8pm 8/27 Sat - 2 Bit Benefits w/Piss Drunks, Antique Scream, The Wrecked Chords, Badlands, ATM, Eroder, Onslaught, Show starts at 6pm

Bob Cock All-Stars Tina D Photography

8/29 Mon - Metal Mondays w/Royalty In Ruins, Thou Shall Kill, Swordfight, Shedu $5 ---------------------------- SEPTEMBER ---------------------------9/1 Thur - IQ9 + guests

Gradie of Triple Sixes

9/2 Fri - EchoReason, (9999), Vaporland, Maklak 9/3 Sat - Skate Night 9/5 Mon - Metal Mondays w/Blood Etchings, Divination of the Damned (CA), Skinwalker $5 9/9 Fri - Supernothing, Far From The Genuine, Fezzik

School Shootings 12

9/10 Sat - Golden Blondes, the Chasers, Leeches of Lure (New Mexico.

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On The Scene with The Reebs

Post-Apocalyptic Luau!

by Carrie Meyer

It was a post-apocalyptic luau on Friday, July 8th at the Crack Fox! Subversion's theme was a huge hit with the crowd, which featured The Mad Titans, DJ Salem, Allura Fette, Tori Nado, and Loki & Fyrebyrd. The next Subversion will be held on Friday, August 12th with the theme of PUSSYFEST II - a friends with benefits benefit for our furry feline masters!

G

ood news! The Reebs are back in the studio and their new CD Shame & Whiskey should be out by the end of the summer. I got the chance to hear some of their new songs at Bob’s Birthday Bash @ The Way Out Club not long ago, and they sound incredible. I cannot wait to hear more from these guys! If you haven’t heard them yet, you don’t know what you’re missing. They’re a little Elvis, a little Social D and a whole lotta soul-shakin’ that makes you want to get up and move. Yes, they’ve been through personal hardships, heartbreak, and desperation, but you won’t be tortured by excessive anguished wailing and poor-me songs that make you wanna cry into your beer. They also played my favorite dirty songs from Buttsweat & Tears which I’ve kept in the top stacks of my night stand since the day I got it. Brian’s got this bedroom voice that’ll make your toes curl, I’m tellin’ ya, this man’s pipes are better than porn;) The song “Take Off Your Underpants” makes a girl wanna shimmy right out of her butterfly thong. “Shake It” is the one that reaches out, grabs me, and makes me want more. By the time he gets to his count of six, he’s got his happy ending, THIS is the song I gotta listen to a thousand times a day. “Wish You Were Dead” is a great tune, kinda funny, kinda mean, “I bought you for

a dollar, I sold you for a dime” delightfully, wickedly spiteful! A great breakup song. Their performance is very polished. Their sound is tight, well-rehearsed, and everyone plays their part with finesse and showmanship. They’re fun to watch, and all of Brian’s hard work at the gym has really paid off, not to mention Todd strips down early in the set half nekkid drummers are always gonna grab my attention. By now my man knows all the words and will drunkenly sing along. We had a great time! The Reebs are rockabilly with style and class, clean cut guys with very dirty minds (their name taken from the movie Kalifornia with Brad Pitt as a deranged serial killer who refers to his beers as REEBS). They’ve been around since early 2003, starting out as an acoustic outfit, but I, for one, am damn glad they opted for a harder edge. I’ve gotten acquainted with drummer Todd Brutcher, who is always right there with answers to all my many questions about the band. More recently, I’ve struck up a friendship with vocalist Brian Russell, one of the best rockabilly crooners STL has ever known. Not only is he a brilliant song writer, he’s a genuinely nice guy with his heart in the right place. I have little doubt that they’ll soon be playing Memphis and Nashville, so shag your ass out to their shows while they’re still local. Get your groove on with their 1st CD Buttsweat & Tears which I’m sure is still available from either Todd or Brian and make sure you purchase their new CD Shame & Whiskey when it comes out! See you all On The Scene somewhere in The Lou!! Malice

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Raising Hell With Guitar Doug Hard Rock With Italian Horror Overtones “Blood is a constant topic in my lyrics, so naturally, incorporating it into our artwork and our general image, comes as second nature.”

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ormed in late 2008, The Screaming Starts is The Creeper (vocals), Stew Manchu (guitars), The Wolfman (bass), and Youngblood (drums). The band has received plenty of radio play since day one and is routinely featured on local rock radio shows like Live in Local on KISW, hosted by Jolene. Some of the band’s cited influences are The Doors, The Sonics, Social Distortion, Rise Against, Iron Maiden, Fu Manchu and Black Sabbath. The Screaming Starts seems to be more about an overall concept, than just music. From their stage presentation, to the song writing, to the artwork, it’s an Italian horror movie set to rock music and the market-

ing strategy is more calculated and preconceived, than you normally find with other Seattle club bands. One would probably describe the music as hard rock, with lyrical stories as the focus, rather than complicated arrangements. The lead singer confirmed my suspicion, tthat hey are Black Sabbath influenced, when I spoke with him after a performance at the Show Box SODO. I stopped by the show with promoter Joe Black, from Blackstar Productions, who was so blown away, he started booking them dates on the spot. The lead singer, who goes by The Creeper, is one of the more engaging front men I have seen around the clubs. His sound is totally his own and his vocals

get stronger throughout the set, rather than weaker. A problem you find with some bands, especially where they don’t have a stand-alone lead singer and use a guitarist doubling on lead vocals. The Screaming Starts recently released Wash Away The Blood, an album produced by Conrad Uno. Conrad’s worked with such renowned bands as Mudhoney and Presidents of the United States of America. The album deals with dark themes and has interesting overdubs, thunder sounds and an actual snippet of a phone call from a bass player, who answered an ad in hopes of auditioning for the band. In a way, the album reminds me of something you might hear in the late 1970s along the lines of the KISS album Destroyer, but sounds fresh in 2011, because of the production and concept behind the work . The Screaming Starts decided to have The Creeper speak on behalf of the group, in the interview below. He is one of the more complex personalities I have come across, in all the years of writing this column. At first glance he is an intimidating guy, who is in your face live, wearing black sun glasses with a distinct sound one would call chilling, bordering on demonic. Off stage, I have never seen him without his black “serial killer” leather gloves. Ironically, by day, he works with kids, which he talks about his work in the interview below. He also explains the concept behind the group. The music and image of The Screaming Starts seems to revolve around horror movie themes. Tell us what’s behind this and how you work this into your music. There is a style of Italian Horror called Giallo which is a reference to books written in the 60s in Italy, consisting more or less with a serial killer terrorizing one person and killing everyone around them. In the early 70s there was a boom of this style of cinema perfected by Dario Argento, Mario Bava, and Lucio Fulci. They were immensely plot driven and extremely gory. To convey unrest, the killer is never shown to the audience, only his hands doing the dirty work... his black leather gloved hands to be precise. I fortunately (or unfortunately) watched a lot of great horror films very early on in my life. So from a young age I was extremely fascinated with all things that made me shutter. Something about being scared or feeling uneasy, while just watching something gruesome on a TV screen was immediately addictive. Did that influence your taste is music as well? Naturally this crossed over into my music taste, just looking at the cover of Metallica’s Kill ‘em All or The Dwarves’ Blood Guts & Pussy sent joyous shivers down my spine! Once I got my hands on those... it was all uphill from there! The band album cover and artwork both have bood all over the place. Why? Blood to me represent’s life and death. You need it to live and if you lose enough, you die. So essentially we’re all just trying to keep our blood pumping INSIDE of us like normal. Blood is a constant topic in my lyrics, so naturally, incorporating it into our artwork and our

general image, comes as second nature. I believe that the sheer sight of blood to many, incites unrest, unconsciously turning into attraction... at least, I hope so! You work with kids, what are they like now compared to past generations? A lot more sheltered in certain ways. It’s much easier to keep track of kids nowadays. Kids are getting cell phones earlier and earlier. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, there’s a lot of creeps out there looking for children. Parents are just more protective now. What’s changed since you were a kid? When I was a kid, pre-internet, pre-Columbine, things were a bit loose, as with past generations as well. In the summer we left in the morning and came home for dinner. Our parents didn’t know what we were or what we weren’t doing. There just wasn’t as much of a perceived threat in doing so before the internet. Now, parents are overwhelmed with the horrific tragedies that are happening all over the world the moment they switch on the computer in the morning. How do you feel about that? Understandably, parents are becoming more protective. Outside, is the enemy, inside, the comforts of home are safe. That statement my be a bit tonguein-cheek, but it’s not entirely off the mark. Given such high profile random acts of violence as the Columbine shootings, the D.C. snipers and most recently the bomb attack and subsequent shootings at a near by youth camp in Oslo with over 75 people dead. Anything can happen anywhere at anytime for no reason. It really all boils down to parents being different and the ever-evolving advancement of technology, social networking sites and communication devices. This, I believe, is the real horror. The Screaming Starts have a unique sound, how do you write your songs? We all come from diverse musical back grounds ranging from 60’s rock, Stoner rock, Punk rock and Pop punk, just to name a few... admittedly, I also steal some tricks from top 40 radio as well! Hey, music is music right? So we’re bound to come together on a different level, musically, than we’ve done in the past. Generally Stew or myself come up with some riffs, and then I’ll take those home and construct a song around any lyrical ideas or concepts I have. I try to rely heavily on hooks and certain melody progressions. Once that’s all in place, we learn the shell of the song and then each add our own signature to it, while still retaining the original concept in tact. Any shows coming up? As far as shows we have booked right now, we have one coming up on Oct. 1st at Hell’s Kitchen for a local online radio station NWCZ radio, and a Halloween show on Oct. 29th at The Horseshoe Saloon in Woodinville with Season Of Nightmares and Hot Roddin’ Romeos. Although we will be booking some shows before that in September, so keep your eyes and ears open!


CBGB Remembers

R.I.P. Guy Pierre Bour October 19, 1957 July 3, 2011

Guy Pierre Bour

??

Shadow Thieves

@ Way Out Club

On July 15th Shadow Thieves presented “Radioactive Creature Features” at The Way Out. This show was full of creature-feature films, give-aways, and music. Although not pictured, the Scream Queen Contest was ear-piercing... and the music was, well, much more pleasant on the ears for us who showed to rock out!!!

Bunny Grunt

BLACK FOR A SECOND

I really don’t know what to say about the passing of Guy Pierre Bour, owner of CBGB. As a transplant to this city, CBGB was the first bar the wife and I ventured to, thanks to our old neighbor Scott who said that it was one of coolest bars in town. I had to agree after I left, and that includes a tale that I can not print. That’s the environment which Guy produced at CBGB, an underground haven for freaks, artists, friends, lovers, and even sinners like myself. We showed up for his wake of sorts at CBGB last month to say our farewell. Even though we never knew each other well, he always welcomed us. That was Guy and CBGB, and I hope that what he created remains for future transplants like myself...

Box Of Nerves @ Jefferson Ave Bistro

Since we moved here two years ago, there is one band that I will always pay a cover for when I catch their flier, and that’s Bunny Grunt. And in the last six months, there’s one venue that I really check out weekly to catch personal shows at, and that’s El Lenador. So when I saw these two together with MOTO, that’s where we went. And it made me grunt all the way home! As expected...

The flier on the wall for Box Of Nerves said something like, “Everything from Sinatra to Bowie”. That one line hooked me on a worn-out Saturday night. Let me say, these guys did not disappoint!

THORLOCK

Moto



“Not afraid to do what we feel is right, play what we love and never conform to a sound that is not our own... ‘Ground & Pound Fucking Heavy!’”

Interview by Chuck Foster

I

n the course of my relentless search for unique bands and buzz, my friend Big Randy stopped me one night outside The Silver Ballroom to ask if I had heard of Vampire Mooose. My answer was no, but shit, the name alone was so far-out that it had me from the get go, putting me face-to-face with this raging beast. The band describes themselves as “Unorthodox, unrelenting and utterly unpredictable... [that] may well be the meanest musical beast you ever encounter. It certainly will be one of the most unique.” They describe their sound as “Fusing death metal brutality and raw hard-core intensity with abstract, progressive arrangements and jazz-like instrumental dexterity, Moose sounds something like the progeny of an insane crossbreeding of Meshuggah, Dillinger Escape Plan and Obituary - only weirder and more vicious.” After touring their website, this four piece is certainly a raging mammoth that will knock you off your feet and on your ass if you dare be foolish enough to take it head on! I suggest moving to the left and taking photos. In my world of last minute productions, I was lucky enough to sit this Mooose down for a few questions. And it went something like this... Tell me a bit about the band,Ryan, and how it cam to be. Please credit each member with their role in the band. Vampire Mooose was established in 1999. I was young as I still am, and was looking for something different because at the time I could go to the store and not find a single CD that I would pay money for – “funny”, kinda of like today. All jokes aside, I set out to create a band that would be drum driven do to my influences of old Sepultura and Tool. Bands like this that had extraordinary drummers made me feel something that the other bands I was into at the time didn’t. The drums just made everything seem like the pallet had more colors, and it did. So I then set out to find my drummer Eric Baudendistel. Then I focused on the string section. Wanting to create something a little more than hardcore and a little less than death, which is what we describe our music as. In short form our music is “Rawkus”. And so I found Steve “grease finger” Cooke and Jeremy Hudson. With these two additions to the band we now have what I was looking for. We set out to make albums that are fun to listen to, hit hard in your stereo, and wont wear out over time. Our goal for our CDs were to sound as if they have no time line or fit in any specific scene, due to the fact that we care nothing for scene politics. This band isn’t a hair cut and a outfit and we take great pride in that. The members of this band all contribute parts and all have different influences which I believe gives us our, hopefully, unique sound. I love to ask this question, how did you guys come

up with the name/concept of Vampire Moose? In times when all the bands are something dead, buried, or dieing and all the those typical same old tired metal names I wanted something that would stand out. We were very influenced by music, movies, comic books and every type of art. A Moose can weigh 2000 lbs and can run up to 35 mph. Not to mention its 7ft rack of antlers. So imagine something that heavy, deadly and fast coming at you. Then give it the unquinching thirst for blood and you have Vampire Mooose! I understand that you guys have recorded with some pretty big names. Please fill me in. We have been fortunate to work with many big acts from music to film for instance we had Bruce Campbell of the Evil Dead trilogy do a cameo for us of his chainsaw, shot gun wielding super hero “Ash”. We were also very fortunate to have Danny Carey of Tool help edit the drums on our first video “Adamantium Elbow”, which also topped the voters charts on Sirius XM. Then I set out to get one of my favorite singers in the world Todd Smith of Dog Fashion Disco/Polka dot Cadaver to do a song with us. Mission accomplished. He does the vocals on our latest album “The Reel” on the song “Angra Mainyu” and it is just amazing. I wasn’t finished there, also on The Reel I wanted the most recognized Metal DJ in the world to sing with me on a song and so I contacted my great friend Jose Mangin of Sirius XM liquid metal to help add a little Latino salsa to our song “La Tumba”. It is a Monster thanks to Jose. This is just a few things that I am proud of to be able to work with such monsters of our industry. Plenty more things have, but these are the things I am most proud of, thanks everybody.

Yellow Harold, and old school metal icons, BROKE. Describe “Vampire Moose” in one sentence? Not afraid to do what we feel is right, play what we love and never conform to a sound that is not our own. “Ground & Pound Fucking Heavy”. What sin are each of you most guilty of? Jeremy Hudson, bass: Lust.

we do get back together we can begin the process of writing the next chapter in the Saga Vampire Mooose. And that’s about it, we are actually quite boring if we are not on stage or in the studio. What’s the biggest misconception about being in a rock band? I would say the biggest misconception of being in a rock band is that since we are on Sirius XM, MTV2, Fuse and a lot of other independent and FM stations that we have money. We are BROKE!!!!!! For instance, when we are not on tour I am a teacher, Steve is a motorcycle repair man, Jeremy is something, I don’t know what he does, and Eric brews coffee and delivers pies. Does this make us any less of Rock stars? I would say NO, But what is a rock star these days, surely not us. But we are fortunate to have a Huge cult following that I am very proud of with lots of people tattooed with the Vampire Mooose emblem all over the world. That’s rock star enough for me. Any last thoughts to share with our readers, or news, or shouts of thanks? I would like to thank everybody that stood by us all these years. All the fans for keeping the rooms full over the years so we don’t look like assholes. Everybody at the Sirius XM family for keeping our music beaming from a satellite daily into radios all over the world. Everybody at Rotten Records, and Joe Pro for making the poster that is inside this magazine – and you, Chuck, from Sinner for giving us this opportunity. Coming soon our first DVD with over 10 years of footage and our 4th album to follow Halloween 2012. If you can’t find it in a store then order it on line @ rottenrecords.com.

What has been the band’s favorite local venue to perform? Well my favorite venue, and I think my band mates will agree, that would have to be the greatly missed, historical Mississippi Nights. I will end this question here because that says it all. Who’s your top 5 local bands? 7 shot screamers, Fragile Porcelain Mice, King Thief,

Eric Boundendistel, drums: Sloth for damn sure! Steve “grease finger” Cooke, guitar: Gluttony. Ryan Mooose, vocals: My most guilty sin would have to be a double dose of Pride & Anger. How do you guys unwind, get away from the band scene of touring and production? When we get home from tours, radio, shows or whatever it may be, we all go our separate ways back to our families. Then we all begin to write separately so when

Last, how can someone find more about the band/ merch/shows? Check out Rottenrecords.com, bestbuy.com, f.y.e.com, amazon.com, vampiremooos.com and we will always have merch at the shows. Be sure to get down to Cicero’s on Thursday , August 11th to catch this Moose live, but beware of its fierceness in such closed quarters... you may not make it out alive!



Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do

by Adam Green

Sometime in 1995 I walked into the OK Hotel with my buddy Doug to see Gas Huffer for the first time. This was during what I consider the “Good Times” for Seattle rock and roll, there were shows every day of the week and they were always packed. I think it was a Wednesday; the room was full of people waiting for the headliner. The only bands I remember being on the bill were Huffer and Redneck Girlfriend. It always stuck in my head because I was young and impressionable. There were all these guys with sideburns, BBQ joint t-shirts, cowboy boots and, big belt buckles…..it was a whole counterculture that I had never seen before! It was like they came out of the movie The Outsiders. I didn’t even know this scene existed…..were they gonna kick my ass for not using pomade?? The night changed my life, I now collect Johnny Cash records, belt buckles and, comb my hair with Pomade….I owe it to the band called Redneck Girlfriend. They have been around since 1992 in some form or another……like some Spinal Tap dimension they have gone through 8 or 9 drummers founding member Layne Freedle tells me. RNGF have been through many different issues including substance abuse, and have always come back to the same agreement: When the time is right, we’ll do it again. A country band first and foremost (they just play it so loud it sounds like metal) their timing seems right as they are about to hit the stage for the first time in 4 years at El Corazon on August 13th. They may do another one, they might not….who knows. Shit, they might pull a Rolling Stones move and keep doing this till they are dead. If I were you, I would catch them while I am certain they WILL be around, if you like it this time…..you can always go again if there is a next time. Throw on yer’ shit kickers, your favorite Black Happy t-shirt and come on down to the show. I’ll be there too…..I am fortunate enough to open for these guys this time around.

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myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner


On The Scene with Malice DIRTY ERNIE’S MEMORIAL BENEFIT July 30 @ Crack Fox

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ll of Ernie’s friends came out to celebrate his life, to share their favorite stories and a drink, as well as to raise money for his family, who are still struggling with his loss. While I, myself, never actually met Dirty Ernie, I had always seen him at The Daddy’s shows over the years. He was a familiar face on the scene and will be missed by all who’s lives he touched. One of My Daddy’s Girls shared her story with me about how she met him. He always greeted her with a hug and a “Hi, how are you?” It was a scene of Rockabilly Royalty: Craig Daddy, Al Swacker, Everett Dean & Johnny Saint, so many familiar faces, The Usual Suspects are always scandalous to hang out with, My Daddy’s Girls were out in force, Chuck & Terri Foster (you know who they are) popped in on their way to cover The Saw is Family at the Way Out Club. It’s tough when Chuck and I attend the same happenings...who’s going to write about what? But it all works out in the end and we enjoy seeing each other. The Earnest Beermen opened the show (with Everybody’s Favorite Greaser on drums, Dennis Williams-what a treat!) fronted by local legend Al Swacker. Who better to open this fine occasion than Ernie’s former bandmates? From full out rockabilly in “Folsom Prison” to rockin’ it out in a Batman chase scene, they’ve got a very smooth surfer vibe. All played on a perfectly matching ensemble: a crimson Gretsch, upright bass, and of course, Dennis’ red Trip Daddys drum kit. It’s an awesome visual display in every respect. They share an enjoyment of playing to a crowd and they’re enthusiasm is contagious. Ernie’s spirit must’ve been proud! Then our good friend Jayme Almond’s band Butcher Holler was

up, they played a lot of my favorites, most memorable was “Festus Bound” and “Don’t Think Twice.” I think I may have heard “Trouble”, or maybe not...I was polluted. I think I remember being told they have a new CD out, my drunken scribblings don’t reveal much on the subject...but I can tell you that they have some shows coming up: 8/22 (Mon) Fubar, 9/30 (Fri) Atomic Cowboy, 10/1 (Sat) Ten Mile House and 10/15 (Sat) Lemmons. Awesome show, and the guys were looking especially spiffy for the occasion. Tying it all up in a neat package, a band very close to my heart (and yes I do confess, I have a mad silly crush on the whole band)...The Trip Daddys played an amazing set, and they never cease to impress me. Craig Daddy has an unmatched style and flare that has only gotten better with time; his musicianship unquestioned, his stage presence larger than life, his band is still hugely popular even after more than a decade and a few changes in personnel over the years. THIS incarnation of The Trip Daddys, is by far the most impressive. If you need another dose of Grease, Ink, and Chrome for your next Daddys fix, you can find them in the following haunts: 8/14 (Sun) Iron Barley, 9/2 (Fri, right before my bday) Tin Can on Morganford, the very next day in The Muny parking lot in Forest Park, and for an Extreme Daddy Experience @ Shady Jack’s on Fri 9/16. It was a great, standing room only, turnout and I’m sure the donations helped out Ernie’sfamily with their expenses. He affected so many of our lives and it’s sad that we lost one of our own way too early. His memory will live on in his music and in stories told and retold by all his friends. R.I.P. Dirty Ernie See You All Out On The Scene Somewhere - Malice


Junkyard Amy Lee

Iron Mike Savoia, Spiderfile Photography

Photos by Tina D Photography

In Super Geek League News, SGL just released a new album called Soul Metal which you can sample here for free at: http://soundcloud.com/super-geek-league/sets/soul-metal.

Junkyard Amy Lee hit 2Bit Saloon in Seattle on 8/2/2011 to a packed house. And luckily Tina D was there to catch it! I suggest keeping your eye on these guys!

SGL were recently ranked #23 on the Weirdest band in the world power rankings (ahead of Gwar and Devo) - http://weirdestbandintheworld.com/the-weird-list/

facebook.com/ junkyardamylee

myspace.com/ junkyardamyle

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SGL were recently named KISW band of the week. SGL will be in Vegas in Sept performing the inaugural Karnival of Chaos with special guests Gogol Bordello and more.. TBA soon. Check out more Geek news at http://supergeekleague.com www.facebook.com/supergeekleague www.myspace.com/supergeekleague

Geoffrey Gribbin @ bipolarphotography,com

myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner


Skin Deep with Stu Photography by LB Photography (LBfoto1@yahoo.com)

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et me start by saying that the purpose of this monthly column is to offer information and a personal view on matters involving body piercing and modification and is in no way meant to put myself above any other artist in the industry. Secondly, if you have a horror story and choose to share it with us, DO NOT give the name of the artist involved as I will just omit it anyway. There are many artists in the St. Louis and surrounding areas who deserve nothing but the utmost respect from myself and supporters of our shared profession. If you have a question about piercing/modification, a story, or just a desire to better understand the culture and would like that answered, please send them to: Stu@StuModifies.com.

This months article touches on SUSPENSION SAFETY. Lately I have been getting questions about suspensions, most of which are about how you can tell if the crew you’ve selected is operating safely. First thing you have to consider is your safety. So often these days we see people who get worked on by less than capable “professionals” (a word that is used a bit too loosely these days if you ask me). People select their artists without viewing portfolios or researching the artists’ experience. This is not something you should allow yourself to do when dealing with suspension. In the world of suspension we have very specific protocols that are put into place to keep our clients safe. Some crews use them, some don’t. Sad to say, but there are many “Crews” out there today that just dive in head first and start throwing people on hooks without realizing just how in depth a good crew operates. It’s up to you to check into the crew and determine if you like and trust the people who you have selected to put you up. To help you with that I have written a small check list of easy things to look for: • Crews should consist of at least a Team Leader, piercer, rigger and spotters. You should talk to all of these people if possible and have them all explain their jobs. If they sound uneducated there’s probably a good chance that they are. Sometimes you will find a piercer who decides he/she is going to suspend people and just grabs a crew of rouge individuals with no training or experience to help him/her out. Some piercers who do that do it very well because they themselves are experienced enough to train people in all the basic areas they need to operate safely, while some just don’t wanna pay their dues and jump the gun. That’s why it’s very important to get a feel for who your trusting your procedure to. • The area selected must have separate designated sections to control contamination and sterilization. Contamination control is a huge part of a quality crew. When I set up a location for a procedure, I do it in separate sections in accordance to our protocol. An area that has been decontaminated and selected to stock all supplies that are not allowed to be touched by a contaminated glove at any time. These are things like unopened sterile gauze, hooks, needles, scrub etc... An area that is designated for setting hooks. An area that is designated for the actual suspension. • The procedure set up area should be non-porous. We

have all seen pictures of people suspending in outdoor environments or buildings that seem abandoned and it is no secret that places like that make it hard to set up good sterile fields, but it doesn’t mean that the crew can slack. The location which houses open equipment that is being used to work off of must be non-porous, otherwise it is not capable of being disinfected. This also includes where you lay to get your hooks. If the surface is porous then it absorbs blood, if it absorbs blood it adsorbs pathogens, if it houses pathogens from someone else and you get them on your open wounds, then you get those pathogens in your system and then you get whatever the person before you has. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! No crew should ever lay anyone down on a bed, couch or any other cloth covered area. If they do this it’s a good sign that they either don’t know any better or are just very unprofessional and should be avoided. • Sterilized packages should be checked. If your at all concerned that the crew you have selected may not have properly sterilized their materials you must act immediately. Saving them from a little embarrassment is not worth your health. A couple things you can look for are: 1) Condition of the packaging (holes and wrinkles are a good sign it me have been forfeited). 2) The back of the package has a small logo that changes color to prove the package has been processed. 3) The contents of the package should appear to be in good condition. No rust, discoloration or dried deposits. • Ropes, cords and systems should appear in good condition. Check to be sure that all of the materials used are in good shape. Look for frays, kinks, flattened/ elongated sections or any other questionable things you may think could cause a rope to fail. • Absolutely no drugs or alcohol should be present. I’m not stupid, I know people have their vices and some people want to be on those vices when they suspend and others want to be on them all day. Suspension is not the place for it! Bottom line is if your intoxicated your risking your health and if the crew is they are risking it more. REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD IDEA! I hope this helps everyone out a bit and also sheds a little light on what it means to be a professional suspensions artist. Anyone who would like more info or to be suspended by a SAFE crew is more than welcome to contact me and I will be happy to have a consultation with you and point you in the right direction.

All questions will be answered by email or by a request for you to call me directly and may be in the next issue of the St. Louis Sinner! Thanks for reading! Stu (Myspace.com/StuModifies - Facbook.com/StuModifies) - Stu@StuModifies.com

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The Skeleton Krewe The Skeleton Krewe was formed in late 2009 by Max Iver, Gina Simon, Ami Amore’ & Charity Tovrea. They came together to help promote the art scene in St. Louis. Their group is a very unique, eclectic, artistic bunch each specializing in many different forms of Art. Max Iver is a very talented mixed media artist, Gina Simon – soon to be Gina Everhart – is a Photographer & Digital Artist, Charity Tovrea is a mixed media artist – photography, jewelry design & author, and Ami Amore' is a dark fusion bellydancer, fire performer, and one-of-a-kind morbid-steampunk jewelry maker, producing headpieces and artwork all made from found and repurposed objects and animal bones. Their shows include artists of all forms, from dancers, sculptors, painters, photographers and performers. They give Artist and performers a venue to help get them noticed and get their name out there. Their first show was “Alice” in April 2010 at Koken Art Factory, and ever since then the group has helped Koken Art put on many shows. Tim Ayres, owner of Koken Art, has given them the opportunity to express their artistic visions. The Krewe’s upcoming show is “Carnivale Of Curiosities” on Saturday, August 13th. You can expect incredible performances by Missy Fit on the Corde lisse, Exotic Rhythms Bellydance, Chris Greer as the Human Blockhead, Dr. Oblongata as the extraordinary Bug-Eating Man, Ricky Phoenix-aerial wonder, Steele Starling and STL Hoop Club. DJ SubRosa will be spinning in the main gallery with Radio Jesus and Séance taking the main stage. As well as local artists’ work on display, a tarot reader and a photo booth by Insomniac Studios will be present. In addition, each of The Krewe will have their own art work in the show as well as vending their many wares, and will feature vending by Amorticious, Psyche's Garden, Wolfstones and more. The Skeleton Krewe’s next show is October 29th – ” Zombies Attack” – A zombie themed Halloween extravaganza! In spring 2012 they will have a sequel to their very popular “Alice” show – “Through the Looking Glass”. And they have a bunch of shows on the calendar for 2012, so check their facebook out for upcoming shows or contact them directly at skeletonkreweart@gmail.com… “We do want to thank St. Louis Sinner Magazine for helping us promote the art world!!”... So – Come One, Come All to the Carnivale of Curiosities where all things weird and wonderful are!!

Hot Bikes, Hot Rods, and Hot Broads: How St. Louis Does Car Shows by Emily Eufinger

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photo by Phil Stucker

photo by Phil Stucker

photo by Phil Stucker

ot choppers, hot cars, hot chicks, and plenty of cold PBR; what more do you need for a successful car show in St. Louis? On a steamy July afternoon, Full Throttle Midwest Magazine—in conjunction with Liquid Illusions and Iron Age Tattoo—presented the third annual Grease, Gears, and Grooves: a hot rod and custom motorcycle showcase, complete with Pin-Up Contest. GGG, as it is affectionately referred to, has changed locations each year it has been in existence. In 2009 it was held at Deluxe (now closed and well-missed); Atomic Cowboy was 2010’s venue (as if it’s not hard enough to park in The Grove, let’s throw a few hundred more cars out on the street!); this year VFW Post 2184 in deep South County had the privilege of hosting the event. The new venue provided ample space for the show vehicles, and plenty of parking with only a short walk away for visitors. Those courageous enough to brave the heat had the chance to get a tan while roaming between vendors and choppers and vintage cars, because the Post was short on shade, making the rods and bikes gleam all the brighter in the glaring sunlight. There was an airconditioned indoor bar and stage area where the Pin-Up Contest was held, but by the end of the day that too became just as balmy as it was outside due to the crowd’s comings and goings. The Pin-Up Contest was sponsored by Devil City: an eclectic new shop in The Loop featuring American-Made rockabilly and retroinspired clothing. It was well worth withstanding the heat to witness the lovely contestants show off talents of musical, intellectual, incendiary, physical, and flexible natures. The evening wear, fine lingerie, and bathing suit competitions certainly did nothing to abate the heat. Very few bikers wore leather in the fiery weather, but Schmeil Diamond would not put off his animal-skin wardrobe. The suede-clad Diamond effortlessly had the room full of greasers and bikers chorusing “Sweet Caroline.” The cherry to top off this rapidly melting sundae was St. Louis’ sultry burlesque sweetie GoGo McGregor, performing a classic seduction of the sweltering audience. GGG enlisted several great local bands to fire up the outdoor stage: Stone Mountain Railroad from Jefferson County, The Doc Ellis photo by Dan Costello

Band, and Sinner favorites Brown Bottle Fever and The Hail Marys lit it up with a fury. An afternoon devouring vehicular eye candy with good friends, cold beer, and plenty of sunshine is a lot to take in, but the ride didn’t stop there; the party continued on into photo by Dan Costello the night at Elmo’s Bar, with South Side 5 there to provide the entertainment. Gratitude must be expressed to the three guys who work their hides off to pull this show together every year: Steve Kleinhans, owner of Full Throttle Midwest Magazine; Darren Williams, owner of Liquid Illusions; and Brad Fink, owner of Iron Age Tattoo and Devil City. Grease, Gears, and Grooves is a show that’s destined to expand, with each passing year bringing more smokin’ hot bikes, rods, broads, and bands. To learn more about this event or any of the sponsors, visit www. greasegearsandgrooves.com.


Photos by Ricky Sherman

For more info see: www.slutwalkstl.com

On Saturday, July 16 St. Louis Sluts hit the 4200 block of Manchester in The Grove to March down the streets in protest to a Toronto police officer’s statement that women should not dress like sluts to avoid being targets of rape. The they threw on one hell-of-a show at The Fox Hole to help further their message. Here in St. Louis their message was clear, “Our city has a reputation for being violent and intolerant; SlutWalk St. Louis is about laying claim to the respect that all of us deserve. People who respect one another do not hurt one another.”


The Surly Gourmand

Devouring Slices of Misery so You Don’t Have To

11111 NE 8th St in Bellevue, inside the Bravern Bulding For reservations call 425-440-0880

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rare trip to downtown Bellevue prompted me to eat at John Howie Steakhouse. Conveniently located inside Bellevue’s conspicuous consumption funhouse, the Bravern Building, I decided that John Howie’s oldschool menu was just what I needed to make me forget the cheesiness of the surrounding neighborhood. Perusing the menu, I noticed a dish that was completely out of place. Artichoke and mascarpone ravioli? At a steak house? For $23? You’d have to be a crazed lunatic whose taste buds were mutilated in a tragic fireworks explosion to order such a dish. Naturally, the woman at the table next to ours heard my ranting and glared at me as she ate her order of artichoke and mascarpone ravioli. Just then, some dude appeared. He strode purposefully over to that woman’s table. “Excuse me,” he told the woman and her husband, “I’m John Howie.” They seemed suitably impressed that the owner himself would take the time to come over. “Is everything all right with your order?” “Oh yes,” the woman said, “This ravioli is fabulous. It’s to die for. I’m sure it’s going straight to my hips!” John Howie smiled. “Well, good! But the reason I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with your order was because IF YOU ORDER RAVIOLI AT A STEAK HOUSE YOU MUST BE MENTALLY RETARDED. And I just wanted to make sure your special needs were being met. But now I know that you’re not retarded, but instead you simply have bad taste. AND MOTHERFUCKERS WITH BAD TASTE DO NOT EAT AT JOHN HOWIE STEAKHOUSE, BITCH! The woman, appropriately flabbergasted by Howie’s enraged rant, remained sheepishly silent as he roared on. “You fuckers don’t deserve my hospitality!” he angrily swept the complimentary bread basket off the table, which they had barely touched. Five different varieties of awesome baked goods spilled out onto the floor: a thin breadstick, gnarled and woody like a wizard’s wand; a crisp salty sheet of cracker, almost big enough for them to have printed the menu on it; a small yeasty pretzel, studded with spikes of black lava salt like a punk-rock arm band; a sweet mini rye loaf; and what was possibly the BEST gougere I have ever tasted—peppery, cheesy, almost creamy inside, with a flaky buttery crust. I almost wept at this senseless destruction. Howie wasn’t done. He picked up the three- layered salt caddy, each rung of which contained a different boutique salt: Portugese fleur de sel on top, pink sea salt in the middle, and black Hawaiian volcano salt on the bottom. “YOU DON’T DESERVE AMBIANCE EITHER!” He dumped the salts unceremoniously into the table’s candle, so that it looked like a colorful layered sand jar bought at a New Mexico rest stop, only with salt instead of sand mixed with powdered watercolors. “This isn’t Outback Steakhouse. None of this ‘No rules, just right’ shit. Here there ARE rules: MY motherfucking rules, and I govern with an iron fist. No, wait, fuck that, it’s a PLATINUM FIST with lightning bolts shooting out of it and diamonds and spikes and other badass accoutrements. And rule number one at JOHN. MOTHERFUCKING. HOWIE. MOTHERFUCKING. STEAKHOUSE is that you order a goddamned steak!” This chick was being buffeted by Howie’s vitriolic bellow, her hair and clothes blown back like that dude in the old Memorex ad. Then John Howie reached

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under and flipped up their table. “GET THE FUCKING FUCK OUT OF MY RESTAURANT!” The woman and her husband scrambled to get away, ducking under John Howie’s outstretched foot as he tried to kick the husband in his ass. Howie, red faced, breathing heavily, turned around to glare at everyone in the restaurant. “Anyone else have anything to say to me?” In retrospect I know I shouldn’t have piped up, but I’m addicted to poking bears, and bee hives, and hornet’s nests, and your mom, and everything else that causes a disaster when poked. I just can’t help it. But I really wanted to complain because my steak was too expensive: at John Howie Steakhouse there’s a section of the menu that lets you choose two four-ounce portions of different kinds of steak. $55 got us one each of an American wagyu filet and an Australian A5 wagyu sirloin. The steaks were tasty, to be sure, but too tiny in my eyes. So I foolishly decided to call John Howie out on it.

LIFE THE WAY A GODDAMNED COW IS SUPPOSED TO LIVE. And if you think that’s not worth $55, then I don’t know why your parents didn’t abort you, son.” I should’ve just taken my rebuke and ended the argument, but of course I didn’t. “They’re like the size of skateboard wheels.” “Yeah, they’re skateboard wheels,” John Howie hissed. ‘Skateboard wheels that let you nose grind and

Ollie on the HALF- PIPE OF PURE UTTER DELICIOUSNESS!” He leaned in to examine the table. “Besides, you little fuck, you’re complaining about the portion sizes but you didn’t even FINISH YOUR FUCKING SIDES!” It was true: he had me there. The sizes of the steaks might have been small, but everything else was very reasonably priced for the sheer volume.

“Hey John Howie,” I asked, “How come these steaks are so small? Is it because you get a lot of anorexic Bellevue chicks in here?” John Howie turned and fixed his awful Eye of Sauron upon me. I immediately regretted my decision to fuck with him. He came over to my table. “Are these steaks small, tough guy?” He stared me down. “Yeah,” I told him, “miniscule.” He leaned heavily on the table, towering over me. “Let me tell you something, little bitch. Those steaks are superb. That American wagyu filet, that beef is so tender, it CRIES when you cut it. It’s the closest thing to pussy you can ACTUALLY EAT and DIGEST without them making a documentary about you from your prison cell. And the Australian sirloin is so motherfucking beefy it’s like failing to outrun the Bulls of Pamplona, but you end up with far less hoof marks on your dick.” “But—“ I was going to make a joke about why John Howie’s mom has hoof marks on HER dick, but he cut me off. “SHUT UP, little man. I’m talking. All of the beef we serve here is GOOD BEEF. We don’t sell that Holocaust beef, like Costco or Outback, beef that comes from cows that are happy to die, from cows that want you to eat their flabby, drug-addled flesh so that you too, can taste a little sliver of their suffering. No, we serve REAL BEEF here son: beef that drank WHISKEY and played FOOTBALL and climbed MOUNT EVEREST and LIVED

A “cup” of seafood chowder was a mere $8 for a huge cauldron. It was creamy without being too heavy, and contained enough seafood to stock an aquarium: huge lumps of sweet crabmeat and delicately poached shrimp swam in this savory pelagic zone, coexisting peacefully alongside lots of corn, bell peppers, asparagus tips, and a few sliced scallions. You can get a bowl for $12, but I would sincerely hate to see how big that would be. Potato pancakes, too, were a steal: for $6 we got two large discuses of shredded potato, lacy like a doily in a great- aunt’s house. They were lightly fried to a soft taupe on the outside, while remaining sunny yellow and fluffy within. These were topped with a melty drift of crème fraiche and copious tiny green bracelets of diced chive. Sauteed spinach ($8) came in a giant steel chalice. This bigass pile of spinach was shockingly green, and had been cooked down into a comforting soft bale, with

lots of garlic, dotted here and there with little squares of preserved lemon rind. I found this dish a bit too salty, possibly due to the lemon rind, but it was otherwise tasty. And $6 got us a twice baked potato the size of a circus Big Top, covered in a billowy tent of really fluffy and silky mashed potatoes. Inside the potato was studded with bacon bits and scallions; outside it was dusted on top with diced chives and microplaned cheese. This thing was the size of a fucking shoe, or my cock, and there was no way I could’ve finished it. “But I bet you left room for dessert,” John Howie growled, interrupting me reverie. “Didn’t you, you little hypocrite? Any questions about my dessert menu, prick?” “Actually, yeah,” I said. “New York Cheesecake? Crème Brulee? Bananas Foster? Cherries Jubilee? All pretty lame ” I knew I was taunting that motherfucker but couldn’t help it, “Did you forget Crepes Suzette? I’ll have the strawberry shortcake.” John Howie fumed for a bit before stalking off to the kitchen. He returned with an amazing concoction: a couple delicate pucks of pastry were cantilevered with a frozen disc of whipped cream, still smoking cold from its time on the anti- griddle, and dotted here and there with reversespherified strawberry jam. “Is this modern enough for you?” He set the plate down onto the table. It looked so tasty, but just as I was about to dig in, John Howie swept the plate onto the floor. “SIKE!” he yelled, then body slammed the broken plate and began break dancing on top of it: first he did the centipede, then a couple back spins. He finished by leaping to his feet, arms akimbo, biceps held rigidly in parallel to the floor, hands pivoting freely. “I AM A ROBOT.” he roared in his best Stephen Hawking voice, “SENT FROM THE FUTURE. TO DESTROY SHITTY FOOD.” Right on his heels was one of his minions, carrying the real strawberry shortcake. For $8 we got a classic template of this famous dessert: a big tawny cube of airy shortcake was layered with a cloud of whipped cream and topped with a pile of macerated strawberries. You simply can’t get any more classical. By this point John Howie’s rage had subsided. “You see,” he told me, “ we aren’t trying to reinvent the wheel. I offer polished and understated service, and very high- quality ingredients, at a reasonable price. We here at John Howie Steakhouse put the customer first, which is why we do ‘old fashioned’ things like taking reservations. I know we can be staid at time. But not every restaurant can be Alinea. And that’s okay.” John Howie’s humble admissions shamed me far more effectively than his brutal tirades ever could. “You’re right, John Howie!” I told him. “I’m sorry I made fun of your steaks. He put his hand on my shoulder. “And I’m sorry for all that stuff I just did.” Then we became friends.

Rating 8.5 fabrications out of 10

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written by Jeff Meyer photos: Insomniac Studios “I’m Shameless.” If you’ve seen this on a bumper sticker in the last few months, and your interest was piqued, you need to check out Shameless Grounds, at 2650 Sidney Street, in the Koken Art Factory, in St. Louis City at the corner of Sidney and Ohio Streets. Open since April of this year, Shameless Grounds has a little something of interest to offer to everyone with an open mind. The brainchild of co-owners Andy and Michelle Mueller, Shameless is, in their words, a sex-positive coffee shop, restaurant, & community meeting space, offering patrons a diverse variety of libations, food, art, and reference material on human sexuality. They recently held a special event to mark the celebration of their grand opening, on Friday, July 29th & Saturday, July 30th, which was well attended, and was a rousing success. Some of the highlights included a blistering Rockabilly set by the Bible Belt Sinners, a smolderingly sexy burlesque performance by the Randy Dandies, an erotically flavored art show, a drag show produced by Glitter Bomb productions, and Naked dessert Sushi. According to Andy & Michelle, they had ruminated on starting their own business for years, and it was finally job dissatisfaction and the desire to do something a little more imaginative and personally fulfilling that motivated them to move forward with Shameless Grounds. Per Andy, “the coffee shop was one aspect of an idea that involved a three fold strategy: we wanted to create a welcoming community space, but also an environment in which we could do outreach & advocacy for sex-positivity, as well as a known space for the free expression of sexuality of all kinds, and eventually, a potential destination for retreats or other sex-positive events.” They’ve worked carefully and thoughtfully to create a warm and appealing space, where free-thinkers will feel comfortable and accepted. They particularly make a point of reaching out to people who may not always feel welcome in other community spaces, and who frequently still routinely face discrimination. They are LGBT friendly, and accepting of people who may be seen by the overly conservative, self-imposed morality police of Missouri to have unconventional views of sexuality and human relationships. As Michelle put it, “we wanted to create a safe, judgmentfree environment for everyone to be themselves,” and also, per Andy, “an environment where it is OK to tell the truth about what you’re feeling & thinking in reference to sexuality.” In selecting their location in Koken, they stated their desire to seek out an open space with a lot of windows and good natural light, a conscious decision on their part to avoid a seedy, underground appearance. Andy stated that their goal in doing this was to craft a sex-positive business that would appeal to a wide spectrum of customers, where both a younger, hipper crowd and “Fenton soccer moms” would feel equally comfortable. Their current location was also affordable, close to home, and Michelle also mentioned her liking for the “family feel” with their co-tenants in the building, primarily artists, photographers and musicians who rent studio space elsewhere in Koken. They feature a good variety of excellent quality coffee and specialty drinks using local Chauvin coffee. Andy praised Chauvin’s help, customer service, and training in preparing them with their setup in the lead up to opening. The menu, like so many other aspects of the shop, is tasty & eclectic, offering a little something different for everyone, with German, French & American influences thrown in. Chef Amanda Buck and Andy Mueller collaborate on the cooking, per Andy at about a 75% to 25% split. Their menu items range from more healthy homemade soups and salads to heartier, higher calorie meat-centric fare. They do pride themselves on offering regular vegan and vegetarian options and specials. On the other end of the culinary spectrum, they also feature G & W Sausage, pulled pork nachos, a collaborative effort known as the “Chauvinist Pig,” as well as a menu item termed the Poly, a build-your-own sandwich. But there is more to Shameless Grounds – a lot more. They provide a venue for local, underrepresented, and lesser-known artists, who may not have the resources or the reputation to exhibit their works elsewhere. They have also built an impressive lending library (free to use to all with proof of age of 18+) on human sexuality, inspired by the CSPC in Seattle, Washington (Center for Sex Positive Culture) including magazines, movies, reference books, gender studies, & feminism, (with items as esoteric as Japanese Erotica dating to the early 1900s) the bulk of which was provided through donations. They host a recurring trivia night, movie night, class/education nights, group meetings, and special events and speakers. And they’re currently in the process of building a small stage, after which they hope to host regular open mic nights, erotic and poetry readings, and live music performances.


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SERIAL KILLER HORrOrSCOPE

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KNOW YOU ALL TOO WELL, my female Cancer. Your heart beats compassion. Children adore you, as do people and pets alike. Many even envy you; while some follow, some hate. But you’re far from perfect, Cancer. Forget the moons and stars that you like to believe guide your twisted life. Nature leads you; not Mother’s, but your own. Like most of us, your selfish. Luckily for you and I both, luck seems to be our niche for getting what we want with a smile from those who give without knowing that they have given. Yes, I like you Cancer. But I may be the bearer of bad fortune, and that aches my soul. Our trails mirror. I have left those close to heart for self interest; you have done the same, in a manner of speaking. No reason for details here, nor explanations and excuses for actions past committed. We do what we “want” when we want. Our guilt teaches us though, makings us a better person, a more caring individual. Every once in a while it makes us leap from the couch and push a stranger in a wheelchair up the alley so he can purchase necessities, even if it’s only a bottle of booze and a pack of smokes. Our guilt drives us. But every once in a while something goes awry. We commit heinous crimes. Crimes way beyond our own nature. And that’s the news I may bring you this month Cancer. But with a little luck and advice you may escape this wretched fortune. I know your reasoning. You think your time spent at the old folk’s home volunteering in the name of your savior will save your soul from the wicked thoughts that haunt it. Not so. Don’t trip out. You’re not the first Cancer to harbor these ill thoughts. Genene Jones loved kids too, but she lost her schoolyard marbles and murdered several children while employed as a nurse in San Antonio, Texas. Lynn Turner lost it, too. She liked to poison loved ones. Some believe that Lynn and Genene’s actions were about insurance money. Some believe it was about power and control, having suffered the life of a weak Cancer. Some think it was revenge. Their reasoning really doesn’t matter now because we’re talking about your future, not their past. I just want you to know that you’re not alone like you often think I believe that guilt may be the root of your evil. You love children but you kill them, so far legally. Your mother and father shipping you off after your first teenage pregnancy didn’t help your mental state much either. Your fear of hurting children has taken you to care for the elderly, the ones already close to death. And now a gambling habit has surfaced, making them easy targets for money, if need be. And as your gambling urges grow, so does the one you harbor for murder. One more wrong turn now and luck may even escape you. So let’s forget luck and guilt. Forget the actions of past Cancers like Genene Jones and Lynn Turner. Forget about the power and insurance policies that often tempt your dark wishes. I care for you dearly, so heed my advice this warm summer month or pay the Devil his dues. If not, you may find yourself with a record of being the last female serial killer fried in Ohio instead of the first, like Anna Marie Hahn, another infamous Cancer and serial killer. Understand that us Crabs may thrive inside a shell, but it’s never one made of concrete and iron. Got it, Jen? Yes, I even know your name... I told you that I know you all too well. Anna Marie Hahn: July 7, 1906 to Dec 7, 1938

Disclaimer: For all you crazy, fucking weirdos out there, this horrorscope is for entertainment purposes only. It does not in any shape or form depict any real characters or situations in your near future. So please don’t kill anyone. Killings bad, MmmKay?

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myspace.com/stlouissinner - myspace.com/seattlesinner


Bitching with Buddha Lu c i fe r

Dr. Salofia and the Mummies of Palermo written by Chuck Foster, 2002

Oh Great and Most Wicked, Ben Ladden is dead and we are getting out of Afghanistan. The economy is stalling for most folks here yet Big Ass corporations are still making profits. Greece and Spain may go belly-up, and our own country feels a bit shaky. The price of gas is coming down but everything else is going up. I’m a bit confused. Should I be stocking up on bullets, or just buy me an electric car? Cordially, Lost in Suburbia. Well, LIS, looks like Obama is going after what Nixon called “peace with honor” which then translated to “high tailing it out of Vietnam before I lose the next election.” In Obama’s case I think it translates to getting out of there before the nation goes bankrupt. Some of our Arab allies grieve Ben Ladden’s passing. Franky, getting shot couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy, and don’t get me started on religious crazies. Currently, you are flushing down billions in a war you can’t win because you can’t trust your own allies. You been giving Pakistan $4 Billion a year to find Ben Ladden who was hiding in plain sight within easy walking distance of their “West Point”. When the military did shoot the guy it was by sneaking around Pakistan’s back. Let’s hope we’ve all learned our lesson, you can’t trust a government you have to bribe. Some corporations are doing well because they are outsoucing to China and Brazil. Both economies are still considered third-world, China more so than Brazil but when you got a billion people speculators are willing to over look small things like that. However, if Greece and Spain go bankrupt then the European Union may break up which would throw the Euro God knows where. This will strengthen the dollar as the global standard safe currency which will boost the exchange rate and lower inflation, but would hurt the stock value of all those companies that are outsourcing. Since most those companies manufacture their stuff elsewhere I don’t see major layoffs and it would allow them a tax write off, that is if they were paying taxes. The Neo-Cons let an unregulated banking system swindle the country, if not the planet, out of their hard earned money, and then had you pay billions more to bail them out. I could not dream up a crazier economic system. Your banking system is still mostly unregulated and banks are still “too big to fail” although some are starting to say they are becoming “too big to save”. Then Greece and Spain are being called, “too big to save.” There is always talk that if the government taxes the rich and the multi-national corporations they would simply move their headquarters elsewhere, but where is this “elsewhere”? The stable first world countries have high tax rates and everywhere else is either too unstable or too corrupt. Besides no other country protects the rich like this one. This is the country that if you bring about a global financial meltdown you’d be made to retire early with a big billion dollar severance check, where in China they would have been beheaded. It doesn’t answer your question, so go buy a bike. - Lucifer If you want to talk to God, see a psychiatrist, or email: god@theseattlesinner.com. To intercourse with the dark lord Lucifer, drink a bottle of Everclear, or email: lucifer@theseattlesinner.com.

I find death in my hands again. It happens so naturally, like a flawless act of nature passed down from the heavens. Even as the body fights with all its might for another breath and one last pump of warm blood to its vital organs, it fails. Life has ended at last. The soul has passed on with the body’s last breath. I must preserve the body for man to one day marvel at its prior existence. The beauty and perfection that God has give can not be lost, it is vital. Every ounce of the blood must be drained, a missed drop on my behalf will bring rot to the outer flesh. I must also remove the brain, it’s deterioration will eat away at the beauty that God sculpted. To keep the face flawless as it was when alive it must be removed from the nose, in pieces or whole. Preferably whole. The internal organs, such as lungs, stomach and intestines have to be removed too or the body will loose its stature over the year. Perfection is my ultimate goal. The body is now ready to be filled with spices and begin its journey to immortality as its soul in heaven has. This journey begins in the sands from which the body was created, under the desert sun, where it will dry for forty days and nights. The same number of days and nights it took God to cleanse the world of evil with water. I must fast with the body while the it becomes immortal, and protect it from any scavengers that may wish to devour it. The process enlightens me, draws me closer to God, and brings me visions of my final rest. After returning with the body I must wrap it over two dozen times in silk and linen. There is no expense spared in my perfection. After the delicate and tedious job of rolling the preserved body is complete, it's time to place it in the tomb.

The body is a friend of mine, like the rest were. God has told me to gather them all, and place them in the tomb I have prepared for us in my home. They will be there for me when I pass and will remain with me forever. I have taught my young son this process and he will do the same for my body when it's time. Some call me Mad, but my work is art. No, the lunatic part of this story isn't true. However, the parts about mummification are somewhat consistent with the process though. Believe it or not, this process was actually practiced in Palermo until 1920 when Doctor Salofia performed the last legal mummification on a two-year-old girl named Rosalia Lombardo. Rosalia is one of many children mummies that fill the walls of the Capuchin catacombs, along with about 8,000 others that date back to the 16th century. Dr. Salofia's work is the most perfected mummification displayed in the catacombs, but his work was kept so secret that no one knows anything about his procedure today. Strangely enough, his life was as much of a mystery as his work and there is little information about who he actually was. The tomb is a maze of walkways with mummified corpses hanging from the walls, displayed in different positions, or nailed shut in coffins, depending upon the instructions given by the person who wished the service. The church, Convento Dei Cappuccini, was rebuilt over the tomb in 1623 and is still open for display today. Remember though, just because mummification isn't legal today doesn't mean it's not possible to find yourself in the hands of a lunatic who wishes to make you one...Just a thought to keep in mind, before some nut yanks it out through your nose.

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Think Outside The Cage with Kendra Holliday of The Beautiful Kind

What’s Up with CFNM Porn? Dear Kendra, Some time ago, in my porn hunting travels, I came across the whole CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male) thing. Recently, I have been thinking about it again. Because, you see, I find it quite hot. This doesn’t make me straight. I’m still a lesbian. I’m not hot for the guys or the penises that are attached, nor do I want them. I am so turned on by the women, though. Is this weird? So who is the target for this kind of porn? Do guys like it? Given how homophobic most men are, I can’t imagine guys would get into seeing naked guys. And straight women, sure, maybe, but then to see women enjoying this…that might be odd. Or does it just appeal to those of use with more unusual tastes in porn? Maybe I should clarify. I’m not into the humiliation kind of stuff, I really lose the women at a strip club or with a stripper sucking the guy off, maybe even getting fucked, in the more risque stuff. but the sight of a normal, real woman (which I vastly prefer in porn anyway) sucking a stripper’s cock is pretty damn hot to me, and I have pet the bunny to it a few times. Even the thought of it, in the shower, can get me going. So what gives? I am curious to know your thoughts on this. Am I just totally screwed up sexually? ~ Porn Surfing Lesbian Dear Porn Surfing Lesbian, Ahh, porn - it can be a double edged sword - it brings you pleasure, but then the guilt, shame, and disgust sinks in. You are not screwed up. You are COMPLEX. In your fantasies you can think whatever you want. You can’t control what turns you on, it just IS, so go with it. I think the people who are into CFNM porn are the kind who like submissive men and dominant women. You probably like a strong, confident woman and enjoy seeing her take pleasure from (and oh sure, maybe humiliate) a dude. Submissive guys eat this shit up.

Is Hardcore Porn As Messed Up As It Appears? Dear Kendra, I’ve been recently watching porn off the internet and am totally amazed at how much of it seems to degrade women. For example: facial shots. Sure, it’s exciting to cum on my partner’s face, but I don’t see the excitement of watching six guys cum like fire hoses all over a gal’s face. Then there’s innumerable amount of things women put inside their vaginas but what I don’t understand is at some point in time a women’s vagina has to get so stretched out it doesn’t provide any sustenance for any sized cock. So tell me, am I wrong to think SOME porn is degrading to women and that these women got into the business because they are fucked up? ~ Naïve Dear Naïve, First of all, some folks need their stimulation to be over the top, hence the fire hose brigade. Second, cumming on a woman’s face is hot because: - you’re using her like a toilet - you’re marking your territory - you’re defiling something pretty - you’re showing her who’s boss, asserting your dominance - you’re treating her like a dirty little slut It’s all part of the game. The porn stars know the game ahead of time, and they play along. You just have to hope that the women doing it are into it, and if they aren’t, that they are into the money and can wash up and go on about their business without curling up in a fetal position in the corner and doing drugs to take away the pain. I admit I worry about the women who don’t understand the game and subject themselves to abuse that will cause psychological damage. But you as a consumer can’t fret over that (otherwise YOU will end up curling up in a fetal position in the corner) - that’s the porn director’s job. That’s why it’s good to support wholesome hardcore companies like Belladonna Entertainment. GGG, ehhh maybe not so much. Seriously, that site gives me gooey nightmares. A couple parting thoughts: yes, some women in the porn industry are running away from their child molesting stepfather in Nebraska and are victims of circumstance, but many are not. And vaginas are nice and stretchy and most can take a beating and still be good to go after a few rounds of Kegel exercises.

love@thebeautifulkind.com www.thebeautifulkind.com Got a sex, relationship, BDSM or fetish related question? Ask your local sexpert, Kendra Holliday, Writer & Editor of The Beautiful Kind, and Co-Founder of Sex Positive St. Louis.

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This, I Shamelessly Tell You My story about becoming James continues, with even more twists and turns, and why I’m leaving my horrid building, or at least trying to by Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid

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North St Louis Mandina’s 1319 St Louis Ave Dutch Town Friendly’s 3503 Roger Pl South County Steel & Ink Studio 3561 Ritz Center MOFO The Silver Ballroom 4701 Mofo Rd at Itaska Tin Hat 3157 Mofo Rd South City Shameless Grounds 2650 Sidney The Wayout Club 2525 S Jefferson Ave

Jefferson Ave Bistro 3701 S Jefferson Ave Cherokee District Apop Records 2831 Cherokee St Downtown Crack Fox 1114 Olive St Soulard Shanti Tavern 825 Allen DB’s Sportsbar 1615 S Broadway Laclede Landing Show Me’s 724 N 2nd St Big Daddy’s 118 Morgan St

Affton Bob’s Liquor 9347 Gravois Rd 10 Mile House 9420 Gravois Rd Overland Just Bill’s 2543 Woodson Rd Priscilla’s 10210 Page Ave Central West End 34 Club 34 N Euclid Tom’s Bar & Grill 20 S Euclid The Grove Just John’s 4112 Manchester Ave The Atomic Cowboy 4140 Manchester Ave

For a complete list of our distibution points, log on to www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

he bad stuff, first: I’ve put in for a transfer out of the low income hell hole that is my building, hoping that after I move (hoping for Ballard), I’ll no longer have to put up with neighbors who passiveaggressively attack me and my slave/sweetie, either through pasting weird signs on my door, (the latest is one regarding not ‘spraying’ in the hallway...not clear what is not supposed to be sprayed, but that’s what the sign said...lest I offend my neighbor’s allergies) or leaving trash near my door. None of them seem to have the sense or sanity to approach either my sweetie or me directly, but they’ve made our lives quite miserable, so now I’ve inquired into getting the hell out of Purgatory (my nickname for my horrid building). I can’t wait to be rid of folks like the ‘gentleman’ who attempted to speak, and upon having me ignore his drunk, pathetic ass, proceeded to try and embarrass me at a bus stop, and who then ended up stumbling away muttering something about ‘I’m going to report your two hour showers’. Yeah, can’t wait to be living away from jerks like him and the other nutcases who live nearby. The good stuff; I not only was able to use a men’s restroom in Tacoma, on the day my sweetie/ slave and I attended Tacoma’s Pride celebration where I was a vendor, doing my tarot thing all day in the hot sun. I nearly got a sunburn, ‘cause I’d forgotten my sunscreen, and a nice woman from another booth lent me hers, but poor sweetie got ‘sun sick’ and had to rest when we got home. I also stayed ‘dressed’ in my ‘guy drag’ all that day. Got flirted with a couple of times by both men and women and stared at by some unsavory, possible gang-banger types who fingered my crystal, but left it on my table when my sweetie stared them down. I have to love my sassy lady, ‘cause when she’s ‘dressed’, she is one fierce be-otch and not to be messed with! I felt like I’d died an gone to Trans heaven, even if I did sort of crash from all the energy of taking it all in when we got home. Also, as I sit here writing this, I’m still smiling about having earlier returned from my gym, where I went ‘dressed’ (as in wearing my paint on mustache, and some killer sideburns I added) to do Pilates. No one hassled me, though there were some interesting looks from a couple of kids, and an older gentleman in the weight room, and the women in the class mostly didn’t notice (or if they did, they said nothing--I did make my mustache very subtle, so they may have just thought I’d forgotten to wax or something). The folks at the Trader Joes, however got a much more ‘there’ mustache, and they did notice, though no one said anything. Ah, good old pc Seattle, sometimes that’s a good thing. There were these young boys at the bus stop, before Trader Joes, who stared, and for a moment I was a little worried, but this nice Gay man joined me at the bus stop, and his smile said: you’re not alone, kiddo, and together, we’re a fucking army. Right on to Gay men who are these days my very best friends. Not such good words, though, for the old, white guy who keeps staring me down at my gym, though, honestly, I’ve no idea what he thinks he wants from me. Maybe he saw my photo and has a fetish for M to effs. I’m not impressed. Oh, and having sex with my sweetie, whether she’s dressed, or I’m dressed, and she’s in ‘he’ mode, is something else entirely hot and tasty. Our s/m lifestyle has taken on another kink and our last roll in the sheets was toe curlingly delicious. I am looking forward to meeting up with sweetie, at the party I’m doing, and having a hot time, me in my mustache and sideburns, him in ‘guy drag’ (what we call it when he’s ‘normal’ to the rest of the world). Yep, today, tonight it’s fun being me, even if I do still live in a horrid building with some of the most fucked up people on the planet (and a handful of fairly nice folks too---them, I will miss when I move). This, I shamelessly tell you. (p.s. I might send you a photo of my ‘dandy boy’ guise as my next photo if you’re open to having another one)

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