connection volume 16 • number 2
A quarterly publication, © 2014 Stonebriar Community Church, Frisco, Texas. The material within this publication may not be disseminated without permission.
lessons on a jet ski
SUMMER 2014
by karen hawkins, pastoral leader of community care
2
All inquiries, comments, suggestions, and story ideas should be directed to our Communications Department by e-mail to communications@stonebriar.org.
senior pastor chuck swindoll senior director of resource ministries carol spencer communications director sandi garrett creative director kenny courtenay writer townsend keller editor olga ball
lessons on a jet ski............................................................................1
designer sarah scherdt communications coordinator amy hyles volunteer editor shelly king
balancing relationships and #socialmedia .......................2
4
lest we forget . . . memorial day reflections......................4
6
encouraging all people to pursue
strawberry pretzel dessert recipe.......................................6 how to beat the heat.........................................................................6 recommended summer reading ..............................................7
a lifelong, joyous relationship
tips for traveling with kids............................................................8
with Jesus Christ
travel games........................................................................................9
8 www.stonebriar.org
®
calendar of events....................................................back cover
cover and page 9 illustrations by kenny courtenay
I love being out on the lake, especially touring the lake on a Jet Ski®. A few years ago was my first time ever on one, and I confess to being a bit nervous—the 35 mile-per-hour wind advisory did not make for a smooth first experience. If I can make it through the white capping waves, I can do anything, right? Well, that theory got tested the following visit. My dear friend and I were headed to the marina for an early lunch and noticed more boats out than the day before. As we were cruising along, I saw one large ski boat approaching to my left and a very large cabin cruiser going quite fast approaching to the right. I had no choice but to stick to the center and hope for the best. We first began experiencing some of the deep wake from the ski boat, but then I became concerned as I noticed just how fast that cabin cruiser was going. If the ski boat was leaving big waves, this puppy was going to be something else. As I began to say something about it to my friend, my voice began to get shriller as I saw a massive tidal wave coming up way above my shoulders. I had no idea what to do but chose to let go of the gas so I would not hit the wave with great force. We were both up in the air, and the Jet Ski® was tilted sharply on its side. I remember thinking, “we are not going to make it through this one.”
got this. You’re fine!” He puts His hand on your heart to calm you down even though life is bumping you up and down. He also guides you to know whether to power up and charge through or to back off and go with the flow. Yes, I walked away from that day with a few bruises, but, more importantly, with a completely fresh perspective on getting through the waves of life. I can get through the scary waves that are unexpected and not fun as well as have a new appreciation for the smooth times. I am even more thankful for life jackets and friends who ride along with me saying . . . ”you’re okay . . . you can do this.”
alongside people who are experiencing waves of job loss, homelessness, hunger, poverty, or loneliness, and remind them that they are not alone. I introduce those who do not know Christ to the One Who will not only save them for eternity, but Who will always ride those waves of life with them, keep them safe, and give them peace in His presence. “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT)
This is what I get to do every day as part of our Community Care Ministry. I come
Life can often be like that trip on the Jet Ski®. We are expected to cruise along to our destination when unexpected circumstances knock us for a loop. God does not always remove the turbulence nor does He always allow the waters to be smooth. But He does put His hand on your hand, like my friend Shereda did, speaking into my ear. . . ”you’re okay, we’ve
www.stonebriar.org | 1
by townsend keller staff writer
O
ur world has been consolidated into a 2 inch by 4.5 inch square of glass, plastic, and wiring. Most of us possess a device that fits comfortably in your pocket that can call a brother in Oregon, Skype a friend in Istanbul, receive an e-mail from work, and retrieve a recipe for chocolate cake in less time than a walk to the mailbox. In our ultra-connected society it is easier than ever to connect with friends, but therein lies the problem. It is too easy. Genuine relationships take work, and digital communication has taken all of that inconvenient effort out of connecting with someone. We are watching a YouTube video of a funny dog while Buster sits in the yard with a ball in his mouth. Genuine relationships are taking a backseat to virtual ones. The volume of participation in digital socializing is staggering. Every minute of every day, there are 684,478 pieces of content shared on Facebook and 3,600 new photos on Instagram. The 1.1 billion Facebook users would be the third-largest country in the world behind China and India. It is not just kids, either. The 45 to 54 age bracket is Facebook’s fastest growing demographic, with a 46 percent increase since 2012.1 While I find the abundance of social media “friendships” I personally possess to be a bit over the top, I am far from what is considered an “over-sharer.” I do not use Instagram because if I want to, I can stick my head out the window and see that pretty
2 | connection
sunset with #nofilter just fine. Vine has way too many six-second Spielbergs taking the term “short film” to a whole new level. Not to mention Pinterest, Google+, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Youtube, and FourSquare. We are saturated with social technology. This is not a campaign to do away with social media altogether. It can be a useful tool to facilitate relationships. Inviting people to get-togethers and gathering addresses for wedding invitations can be accomplished with one Facebook message. They can also be quite enjoyable. I am a full-fledged Twitter addict because I get sports news the minute it happens. Skype has proven to be an excellent tool for maintaining longdistance friendships.
can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Senior Associate Pastor Charlton Hiott says in order for us to develop the authentic relationships and friendships that are so important, we must allot the necessary time for them to grow. He quotes a phrase from Em Griffin’s book, Making Friends and Making Them Count. “Friends are people that waste time on each other.” Charlton added, “To have a friendship and to have a relationship, you have to give time to it. Before you have quality time, you have to have quantity time; you can’t manufacture quality time without quantity time. You need to go through some seasons with people.”
Where we have gone wrong in social media is using it as a replacement for human interaction. When we come up with some clever status update and 57 people like it, it gives us a feeling of affirmation. We only upload pictures of the fun parts of life to construct the image of a booming social calendar.
Real, biblical relationships can be counted on when things are painful. Jesus had plenty of people around Him when He was performing miracles and preaching. However, only a few people were there for Him when He was on the cross, including His mother, Mary Magdalene, and John.
Authentic companionship may not immediately seem like a make-or-break biblical issue, but it is a vital part of our spiritual walk. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is just one example of true friendship being a necessity in the Christian life: Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two
For some, social media has become an unhealthy outlet for unmet social needs. We have all seen the people who air their latest breakup/drama/emotional laundry online. While it is usually nothing more than a slight annoyance for those not involved, it is an indicator of great personal pain for the person posting. People who post that they are “having the worst day ever :(” (and often much more serious things) feel the need for comfort and affirmation just like the rest of
us. However, instead of going to people they trust, they prefer going online where they don’t have to make themselves vulnerable to someone in person. It is part of a larger trend of face-to-face communication becoming decidedly less comfortable than digital. “Kids are definitely more open about what they say to each other via social media than we ever were when I was a teen,” Kristi McElheney, ministry leader of elementary, said. “I’m not sure if in the long run that’s going to hurt relationships, or give teens more confidence to speak truth. Although, I think it creates an easy out for going to someone face-to-face, which is much harder to do with honesty.”
This summer, I would challenge you to take advantage of whatever downtime the season offers you to make a deeper personal connection with people you care about. There is a core group of people you can identify in your life without much thought. Carve out that quantity time for those people, whether it be starting a Bible study together or just grabbing lunch. Ask about their lives and ask how you can pray for them. Seek people who will walk alongside you and invest in genuine relationships that do not need screens to remain strong. While you are putting in the quantity time, make sure you are actually engaging the person and not just sitting on your phones together.
Online interactions do not fill our need for authentic relationships. All of us need a support system of godly, loving people to pick us up when we fail and fight our battles alongside us. God never intended for us to journey alone in life. If you liked this, you can follow me on Twitter at…actually, no, just come up to me and say hi sometime. I would love to shake your hand and meet you face to face #InRealLife. 1 searchenginejournal.com, 25 Insane Social Media Facts by Albert Costill. December 10, 2013.
www.stonebriar.org | 3
by roy williamson pastor of family and parenting ministries
I
n my life, Memorial Day has progressed from an academic concept to a personal experience. As a youth, I grasped only the facts. The observance occurs annually on the last Monday in May to remember Americans who chose to lay their lives on the line to defend freedom and to purchase freedom for others. Traditionally, the President places a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, flags fly at half mast, and national cemeteries
4 | connection
hold solemn observances Memorial Day morning. Popular culture added retail sales with “the lowest prices of the season,” the Indy 500, the end of the school year, and the beginning of summer grilling season as additional reasons for the observance. The facts and traditions of Memorial Day were trivial details I learned in the classroom. Names, dates, actions, and places
were just facts I memorized for history exams. Any deeper understanding reflected my adaptation of cultural attitudes: the end of the school year and the beginning of summer swimming season. Memorial Day was just a holiday I enjoyed that lacked deeper significance. The change from seeing Memorial Day only in light of the immediate began five weeks after college graduation. Military basic training added lives and a “past tense” to the day, as faces and stories aligned with names previously memorized. An unpopular war raging half a world away added a sense of urgency—I needed to know on whose shoulders I would stand. Bases and buildings became mnemonic devices, bearing the names of heroes— Carswell, Castle, Femoyer, Mathis—whose stories I understood, and who served in the same forces and wore the same wings I wore. Knowledge of these past lives brought awareness of standards to uphold and provided me with mental pictures to visualize when “Taps” played. The present tense of Memorial Day deepened with the realization of my own mortality. Three incidents in flight showed me that my “years and years of time left before eternity” could be shortened to seven seconds, then three, and finally 6/10ths of a second.* The loss of brothers in Christ—Jerry, Jim, Lyle, Dennis, Bernie, Bill—names, faces, and lives with whom I stood shoulder to shoulder, brought home the “or go down in flame” side of the Air Force song’s promise that “we live in fame.” With these came new experiences: standing with the tearful widow receiving the folded flag “on behalf of a grateful nation,” wincing when the three rifle volleys were fired to signal all forces, friend and enemy, to cease from battle and bury their dead, seeing the faces of friends while “Taps” played and the flag at half staff responding to the breeze.
Each memory snapshot is bittersweet— it rekindles mourning but reminds me of my eternal hope. The sadness I have missing my brother crewmembers is countered by hope and anticipation— we have not shared our last joke or embarked on our last adventure. Those with whom I share a destiny will forever be part of my eternal “today.”
Each memory snapshot is bittersweet— it rekindles mourning but reminds me of my eternal hope. In Montana, I spoke at Memorial Day observances. Any words I said at Custer Battlefield cemetery were overshadowed by the scenes I absorbed. Crow and Northern Cheyenne Indian honor guards in dress uniforms and headdresses guarded the American flag with battle spears. Rows of white marble monuments stood as mute representatives of lost lives, with small groups of aging veterans spanning three wars spread across the landscape, kneeling at those monuments. Neither the honor guard nor the veterans were there to remember “expected losses,” imperial dreams, noble or ignoble conquest, or political causes, but only the lives of their brothers in arms—free men—“laid down for friends” (John 15:13). A wreath tossed into the Little Bighorn River represented sailors and Marines entombed or buried at sea. The white flowers drifted down the stream to the verbal reminder of a future resurrection: “and the sea shall give up the dead in it” (Revelation 20:13). In its biblical context, the benediction
does not speak of a joyful resurrection, but the mention of resurrection reminds of future hope beyond time. Memorial Day has a temporal future also: I will observe future holidays with sons whose military service took them to Germany, Japan, Iraq, Bahrain, Korea, and Afghanistan. The muted uncertainty and discomfort of Memorial Day observed while each was deployed has given way to joyful times with them and their families. Memorial Day refreshes my “sense of eternity.” In my life, I did not gain a full sense of eternity as a youth, but God taught me through adult experience. Memorial Day reminds me to gauge my individual progress toward living with a sense of eternity, and my changing view of the holiday highlights the firm but gentle way God teaches. Memory enables me to apply the past and project into the future. Remembering Romans 8:28 at work in the past provides comfort—today’s bad experiences He will work together for good. It adds context— “God provided again,” affirming the faithfulness of God. In his poem “Recessional,” Rudyard Kipling recognized the relationship of temporal memory to eternal hope. His words challenged Victorian England (and us) to remember, and in so doing look beyond the temporal and toward the eternal: “The tumult and the shouting dies— The Captains and the Kings depart— Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice, an humble and a contrite heart. Lord God of Hosts be with us yet, Lest we forget—lest we forget.” Let us not forget. *See our staff blog: “Providence, Uncle Hugh, and Neal’s Sleepless Nights”
www.stonebriar.org | 5
light & refreshing summer recipe
recommended summer reading by townsend keller, staff writer
by julie gandia
The Devil in Pew Number Seven
by Rebecca Nichols Alonzo Rhonda Guerry recommends this true saga of one family’s faith when a malicious church member persecutes a pastor and his young family.
Strawberry Pretzel Dessert ingredients: 2 cups crushed hard pretzels 3/4 cup melted butter or margarine 3 tablespoons sugar 1 package (8 oz.) cream cheese ½ teaspoon vanilla 2 cups whipped cream or whipped topping 1 package (6 oz.) strawberry gelatin 1 package (10 oz.) frozen strawberries, thawed or 2 cups sliced fresh strawberries 2 cups boiling water 1 cup sugar
preparation: Mix together the crushed pretzels, butter or margarine, and 3 tablespoons of sugar. Put into a 9 x 13-inch baking dish; bake at 400° for 8 to 10 minutes. Let cool. Do not bake more than 10 minutes, or the pretzels turn as hard as cement. Mix together the cream cheese, 1 cup sugar, and ½ tsp vanilla. Fold in the whipped topping. Spread over the cooled pretzel layer. It’s important to spread the cream cheese mixture to the edges to keep the gelatin from seeping to the bottom of the baking dish. Mix the strawberry gelatin in boiling water, then add frozen strawberries. Spoon over cream cheese mixture. Chill thoroughly. Garnish with fresh strawberries. Serves 10 to 12.
Vanished
Alysse Ottinger, ministry leader of junior high women
One of my favorite summer traditions as a kid was getting a large watermelon snow cone from the snow cone shop down the street from my house. We would eat it at the lake while dangling our legs in the water. As an adult, it is still one of my favorite summer activities. It is even more relaxing if you grab an umbrella for shade and a good book to read while you are there. Working with junior high students, water games are always a big hit. We like to bring out a giant Slip ‘N Slide® covered in dish soap and water. If you grab a bunch of water guns, you can squirt the sliders as they go. We also love taking our students to an evening RoughRiders game in the shady all-you-can-eat section. During the summer you can find me researching ideas on Pinterest under the DIY & Crafts section. One of my favorites lately has been decorating dollar store coffee mugs with paint pens. Last summer, a few junior high students and I created our own bath products (such as sugar scrubs, soap, etc.). You can find all the ingredients you need at any local craft store. It’s a neat project that gets you away from the glaring summer sun and gives you something you can use later.
If you’re looking for something to “beat the heat,” here are a few ideas: Freeze grapes. I know that sounds weird, but it makes a great healthy snack. They’re nice and cold too, like a Popsicle®. Swim at the Frisco Athletic Center. They have a great outdoor swim area that includes slides, water features, and a lazy river. It costs only $8 for adults and $6 for kids if you’re not a member. Sign up your kids (and yourself) for a week of clue-finding international spying at Vacation Bible School, June 16-20. For your kids who have graduated second through fourth grade, we are going to have a fantastic time learning about creation science at elementary summer camp, July 6-10.
Jennifer Withers, ministry leader of preteen girls
This summer, we are going to study the book of I Peter as a family. My goal is to help our children apply God’s teaching to their lives. I want it to be a fun, interactive time.
Faith Enough to Finish
by Jill Briscoe For those facing rough times and feeling like God has abandoned them, this book will restore your sense of purpose. Recommended by Lynne Laminack.
The Owner’s Manual for Christians: The Essential Guide for a God-Honoring Life
by Chuck Swindoll Kathy Goodwin suggests this perfect starting place for Christians. From grace to freedom, this book walks the reader through the keys to a well-lived life drawn from the Creator of life itself.
The Knowledge of the Holy
by A.W. Tozer Recommended by Elder Jay Madden, this book illuminates God’s attributes to restore the majesty and wonder of God in the hearts and minds of all Christians.
In the summer, each of our children is responsible for planning, shopping for, and cooking one family meal a week. When one child cooks, the other two do the dishes.
Where Dreams Die Hard: A Small American Town and Its Six-Man Football Team
A good spiritual activity is a movie Bible study. Last summer the high school girls watched a movie and then discussed spiritual aspects that could be drawn from the movie. You could also bake cake pops, tie Bible verses to them, and hand them to the elderly at a nursing home.
It’s not all work and Bible study at our house. The rest of the time, we like to play. One of our favorite family games is hide-and-seek in the dark. We also like to put together puzzles, sometimes while watching TV or playing the Wii®. A new thing we are going to try as a family is Top Golf.
The Glory of Christ
Other fun activities are attending a drive-in movie theatre, grabbing a snow cone, or enjoying afternoon tea at a tearoom. You could also drive to the border of Oklahoma, about 30 minutes from here, and watch the sunset from one of the lookout sites.
I encourage all parents to invest time in their families this summer. When they are very young you can’t imagine them ever leaving your home, but coming from a mother of a senior, the time goes a lot faster than you can ever imagine.
Heather Severding, pastoral leader of student ministries
6 | connection
Kristi McElheney, ministry leader of elementary
by Wil S. Hylton Carol Spencer recommends this nonfiction book about the efforts to find missing American military personnel lost during WWII in the Pacific Theater. The book follows Dr. Pat Scannon as he leads expeditions to search for the wreckage of the missing aircraft.
by Carlton Stowers This charming book, recommended by me, tells the story of Penelope, Texas (population 211) and its love of its hard-luck six-man football team, the Wolverines. Not just a sports book, Stowers delivers an engaging look into small-town Texas life.
by John Owen Elder Steve Raffaele suggests this work by the great Puritan pastor and theologian John Owen. First published in 1684, Owen writes about the heart of the Gospel, Jesus Christ, and meditates on His glory.
www.stonebriar.org | 7
by kenny courtenay, creative director
word finder
Find the books of the Bible hidden in the puzzle to the right. Words may be spelled diagonally and/or backwards.
GENESIS EXODUS LEVITICUS NUMBERS DEUTERONOMY RUTH JOB PSALMS PROVERBS ISAIAH MATTHEW MARK LUKE JOHN ACTS ROMANS EPHESIANS GALATIANS HEBREWS REVELATION
start by katie hayes early childhood hall supervisor
Plan ahead—It is never too early to Try to see the trip through start packing, organizing, and planning. your child’s eyes—I love traveling Make lists—I always have several lists started long before I start to pack. It helps me keep everything straight in my head. I make lists for things to do before we leave, things to pack, things to do right away when I get home, and more.
with my kids. Yes, it’s stressful, but they find such joy in the little things. We recently flew with my five year old, and as we exited the security area at the airport he said, “They let me take off my shoes! Isn’t that cool?” Who would’ve guessed that even airport security was an adventure?
Have a sense of humor— Keep your cool—Your It’s no secret that traveling with kids can be almost as challenging as Olympic marathons. Sometimes you just need to laugh. Even if the day has been a total disaster, laughter helps.
kids are likely tired and way off their schedule. When they are having a hysterical moment that wouldn’t normally happen, try to remember that they are out of their element and offer a little more grace.
Bring a little bit of home— I always try to bring something familiar for my boys. Some ideas are a blankie, a movie, a stuffed animal, a loved book, or their favorite pajamas. These little things can help kids transition to life on the road.
Bring something new—
8 | connection
Whenever we travel by car or airplane, I always try to make the trip a little more exciting for the boys by bringing something new for them. It’s usually a new movie, coloring book, toy, or game. It has worked like a charm and kept them from getting totally nuts in the car all day long. I even take something with me for the return trip. You don’t need to spend a lot of money;
Scan this code with your mobile device to see puzzle solutions.
Help Pastor Chuck find the treasure chest. just plan ahead!
Pray and pray often—Usually, as a trip approaches, the stress is rising higher by the minute. Remember to stop and pray for God to help you. He has heard many of my prayers for peace as we prepare to leave... and prayers to keep me from going batty while we’re on a trip! I also like to ask a few friends to pray for us while we’re away. We’ve texted them on the road with a frantic note to “Pray quick! One of the boys is sick!” It just helps to know that others are praying for your well-being, safety, and sanity.
Don’t be afraid—I
have friends that won’t take their kids traveling with them because they are too worried about the stress. What a shame! It is such a joy to see the world through a child’s eyes. You can always start off easy with small trips and work your way up from there. Don’t be afraid. The experience is well worth the headaches.
They will remember—In
our experience, every trip we have taken can be completely recited by our son. He remembers everything we do and everywhere we go with crazy accuracy. They will remember traveling with you for a long time. Make memories and laugh together.
finish
crossword puzzle ACROSS: 1. Was thrown into a furnace with Shadrach and Meshach 2. God told Abraham to sacrifice this son as a burnt offering 3. King Saul’s son and best friend of David. 4. The second king of Israel 5. Was sold into slavery by his brothers 6. Betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver (2 words) 7. David killed this giant 8. Jesus’ friend whom He raised from the dead 9. Lost his great strength when his hair was cut 10. Denied Jesus three times
DOWN: 11. Daniel interpreted a dream of this king 12. Spent three days in the belly of a big fish 13. Ruth’s mother-in-law 14. Built the ark 15. Great king who asked God for wisdom 16. Killed his brother Abel 17. The Angel of the Lord appeared to this man on the road to Damascus (3 words) 18. Abraham’s nephew 19. Mother of the Prophet Samuel 20. Beautiful young Jewish woman who became queen of the Persian empire
www.stonebriar.org | 9
chinese speaking fellowship
anthem art class (special needs) tuesdays, june 10–august 26, 10 a.m. B151-152, B156
recurring events
1st & 3rd sundays, 9–10:15 a.m., A211-A213
servicio en español
marriagecore
sundays, 10:30 a.m., multi-purpose room
stonebriar prays
1st sunday of the month 5–6:30 p.m., A129
fridays, 7 a.m., B151-B152 [keyword: ruro]
1st monday of the month 7–8:30 p.m., B192
5/26
memorial day
6/1
celebration of the Lord’s supper
church offices closed
9 & 10:45 a.m.
junior high camp parent meeting
6/7
celebration singers concert
12:30–1:30 p.m., B181
4–5:30 p.m., multi-purpose room
simple apologetics
wednesdays, june 4–11, and june 25–august 20, 7–8:45 p.m. multi-purpose room
6/11
adult baptism class
6/16–20 vacation Bible school
8/10
adult baptism
6/16–23 junior high summer camp
9/1
labor day
9/7
marriage foundations begins
straight talk: an evening with kay wyma
wednesdays, august 6–27, 7–8:30 p.m., B243-B244
8/3
5/18 high school graduation recognition 9 & 10:45 a.m.
simple evangelism
wednesdays, june 25–july 30 7–8:30 p.m., B202-B203
stepping up men’s summer Bible study
frisco connect (employment networking)
9 & 10:45 a.m.
wednesdays, june 25–july 30, 9:30–11:30 a.m., 7–8:30 p.m. [keyword: womensbible]
reach up reach out job-loss encouragement
cancer encouragement group
child dedication
women’s summer Bible study
tuesdays, 6:30 p.m., B241-B242 [keyword: marriagecore]
1st & 3rd tuesdays, 9–11:30 a.m. multi-purpose room [keyword: friscoconnect]
5/11
introduction to theology
wednesdays, june 4–august 20 7–8:30 p.m., B181
6:30–8 p.m., B241-B242 6:30–8 p.m.
estes park, colorado
7/4
independence day
church offices closed
7/6–10 elementary summer camp rockin’ c ranch, lindale, texas 7/26
women’s summer escape
8:30 a.m.–2:30 p.m.
8/3 celebration of the Lord’s supper 9 & 10:45 a.m.
4801 legendary drive, frisco, texas 75034
•
12:30–2:30 p.m., A211-A213
1 p.m., multi-purpose room
church offices closed
9/10 women’s fall Bible studies begin 9:30–11 a.m., 6:30–8 p.m.
men’s wednesday night Bible study with steve farrar begins
9/14
child dedication
469.252.5200
6:30 p.m., worship center
9 & 10:45 a.m.
•
www.stonebriar.org