Oct 1882 by StPetersYork

THE

PETE RITE. Von. Iv .

OCTOBEII, 1882.

No .

1 .

THE INNER LIFE OF THE BLACK COUNTRY. 110 has not seen a Coal Pit ?

Ay,

who ? But few indeed itt

this age of hot activity and boiling bustle have not looked

upon at least the outside of a pit, and become somewhat familiar with its noise and whirl ; its dirt acid sooty blackness ; the huge black pitheap ; the begrimed engine-house ; the rattle of the cage up and down the shaft ; the clank of chains ; and the deep bellowing roar of pitmen's lungs . Perhaps but few of my readers have been down a pit, and fewer still have the wish to explore the dark abyss . But if you put yourselves in my hands for a short time, I shall take you in imagination to a pit in the county of Durham, to witness and take part in the festivity below ground. It was Christmastide, though the open weather would fain give the lie to the assertion, and about six o'clock in the evening, when five of us set out to make night horrible with shouts and revelry . Our dress was not particularly pitmanlike, being composed of cast-off clothing of various shapes and still more various hues . In a pitman's eyes we were habited with extreme neatness and plainness, as the pitman is proverbially addicted to all such colours as are in his opinion not in the least calculated to arrest attention . " I'll ha' noun o' yoor bawdy collore, gie me plain reed, yaller and bloc .'' But we draw near to the pit ; the flare of torches and lamps tells us that . There at to top of the shaft, round a blazing fire, sits a motley group of a somewhat nondescript character . A jolly red farmer, next a grizzly pitman ; a pale-faced tradesman shivering in his shoes at the thought that soon he will be on his downward path, descending he

THE INNER I IFE

(o'

THE ELACR COL NTI;Y.

knows not whither ; the conventional 'Arry, with his Mary Jane, bouncing in bright-flamed ribbons, and the stout old mother watching over her daughter that now is and her son that is to be, like a hen watching over a brood of ducks, with this difference : that when the ducks essay the watery main—which generally in the pit district, if we take away the beautiful and touchingly poetical idea, consists of a dirty child-infested gutter—the old hen remains in statu quo on the bank, whereas in the present instance the mother overcame her fears, and much to the delight (?) of the daughter that now is, and the son that is to be, after many exclamations of alarm and much coaxing and entreaty on the part of the banksman waiting to trap the cage away, and accelerated by a well timed impetus given by her sturdy partner in the rear, she stepped into the narrow prison . The signal was given ; the four disappeared swiftly into the darkness . " Ma word, Geordie, hinney, " said the banksman, " She ga p s done wi' graate philosophy ." The screams and cries of the good old lady are heard in the distance, " Mind, 'Arry,'Arry, tak care o' oor Mary Jaane ." And 'Arry took care of her. But the cage is down at the bottom of the shaft and the other cage at the top . We move to get in . Just as we are stepping in, our eyes are arrested by a placard, " Visitors are expected to remember the onsetter at the bottom ." An intimation of this nature at such a crisis of our lives, containing such a gentle hint so directly suggested in a manner calculated not to offend the feelings even of the most sensitive, brought tears to our eyes . And naturally so, for who could have thought that it was possible to bring before the notice of so .many people, in such a delicate manner, the poverty of the aforesaid onsetter, and his heroism in overcoming his natural pride and aversion to receiving pecuniary assistance ? Oh! the thought was beautiful! And so we felt, and with subdued feelings we pondered over it all the time we were descending, for—we had brought no money. All the time we were descending, did I say? No, not all the time . For as we were whirled down, our hearts and stomachs seemed in our mouths, the ground seemed to have been taken away from under our feet . The aforesaid subdued feelings became unsubdued. " The old order changeth, giving place to new . " But the old order was restored again, when we saw the onsetter at the bottom! IIe took off his hat, which had been beautifully decorated with paper roses, holly,

TILE INNER LIFE OF TIIE BLACh COUNTRY .

and ribbons, by his conjugal mate, very politely as we thought. We were charmed with his politeness, and our hearts went out to his. (Perhaps they did that the more readily as they were, as I have already said, in our mouths .) They soon cause back again, however . That act of politeness was not so charming as it looked. It served a double purpose : it served to welcome our persons and it also served to welcome our purses ! Which was the sincerest welcome? Why, the former, of course ! Who dares to take away the character of a good honest " Geordie." However, as we had none of the wherewithal to call for the second welcome, we were allowed to proceed on the understanding that we were to send its equivalent to him afterwards . So even in the Plutonic regions we found it was each man for himself and heaven help the hindmost. Our attention was soon arrested by the busy scene around us . Where have we got to ? Ay, good reason to ask that question . Are these the "Lugentes Campi?" Surely not, for our ears are bewitched by sweet sounds of music, proceeding we knew not whence . We follow the sound, and after long search we espy a recess in the side (I claim poetical license and call it a grotto), its entrance barricaded with myrtle and festooned with holly . I peered in and saw far in the grotto a fairy form—at least I had to suppose it was a fairy—though of rather Titanic dimensions . Wishing to be assured of his unsubstantial nature, and to ascertain whether he really a "fermis sire corpore vita," I obtained the loan of Charon, the onsetter's pole, and with a dexterous and welldirected thrust, I darted the pole full in the fairy's chest . The effect was instantaneous and startling . The music, a combination of i\Iendelssohn, Handel, and Beethoven, suddenly ceased ; a crash was heard ; I peered again into the grotto : two legs were up in the air ; so was the instrument of music ; whilst from the depths of the grotto boomed a rolling thunder of ejaculations of a terse and exclamatory character ! The deed was done ; the spell was gone ; I laughed ; there was one who didn't ! The regions I was in evidently were not the " plains of mourning ." Then were they the realms spoken of by Virgil: Hie duos durus amor crudeli tabe perelit Secreti celant canes myrtea circun Silva tegit. True to the life! There were indeed "secret paths " wherever I turned

THE INNER LIFE OF TILE BLACK COUNTRY.

my eyes and saw by faith where I could not see by sight . And further there was the "myrtea silva," a terns Virgil might have applied to the holly decorations in profusion all round . But how about love ? \Vell, speaking confidently, I am rather inclined to believe that in many cases "where two hearts beat before " (i .e . on their entrance to the pit) "those two now beat in one " (i .e. on their exit) . We noticed a good-humoured approving smile on the face of the portly old lady I have introduced to my readers before, as she thinks that what was before a possibility is now a decided probability, and that in a few short days, "the son that is to he " will be the son that now is ." How different the present scene at the bottom of the shaft from what it generally is .

Then

all is dirt, gloom, and apparent confusion . A

charming concert confounds the ear : the rapping of signals and ringing of bells ; the rumbling of tubs as the empty ones are taken out of the cage and replaced by full ones ; the roar of the "run " of some forty full tubs to the bottom of the shaft ; the clanking of chains, and the doublebass bellowings of pitmanic lungs . But

now

the scene is changed as if

by magic . Ilolly decorates the hare walls of coal ; the stone roof has been whitewashed for the occasion, and a large arch of holly thrusts " Welcome " forcibly before our eyes . Up the narrow long vistas is seen the flicker of torches illuminating the dazzling leaves of holly. We pa,cs along one of these . We need no thread to lead us back through the mazy labyrinth . We follow the throng . At length the narrow way opens out into a large recess brightly illuminated and decorated . There we see a large table and—but I dare scarcely tax my readers' powers of credulity so far—a white table-cloth, and on the white covering a bounteous wherewithal to satisfy even the most pampered and fastidious epicures, in plain though colloquial English, " a good spread ." The whole scene brought to my mind Virgil's description of the feast in honour of Pastor Aristaeus in the sea grotto query . Could the daughters and wives of the pitmen be said to correspond to Virgil's nymphs ? In length of names they might.

xA).a c1yw

Before we explored the unknown region before us, feeling that the sensation of admiration and astonishment was entirely mental and bad no effect upon our physical natures, at least no detrimental effect, and being of a provident nature, we looked to our commisariat and pro-

TILE INNER LIFT: Ot TIIE BLACK COUNTRY .

vided for the worst . (N .B —On that remarkable occasion everybody proved themselves of a provident nature, for they all provided for the worst . Does this excellent quality among the pitmen extend to the other matters? Ask their wives .) Our tea is over and we are in debt to the amount of 2/6 . Strange to say this has little effect upon our animal spirits . A line of Tennyson comes uppermost " move upwards working out the beast ." So we move upwards (i .e . up the incline) until we come to the habitation of die beasts—the pit stables . The expression "working out the beast" is terribly significant . The beasts or pit ponies soon get worked out poor things, at least in some collieries . The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Society have not such free access as above ground . But, in the pit we are in, the ponies are decidedly better treated, and one larger white pony "Roger" is the pit favourite. IIe poked its nose out for us to rub. There were several other lilliputian ponies whose hides had by this time been well seasoned by the short leather-thonged whips of the black imps who seemed to make flagellation their special study as to where and how it might be applied with the greatest effect . Opposite the stables we pass into a small room used on ordinary occasions as a hospital for sick horses . A rough painting of two cross pipes resembling the cross keys of St . Peter's announces to us that this is the smoke-room. The announcement is at the best superfluous, the dense clouds of tobacco smoke issuing from about thirty " churchwardens" provided for the occasion prove conclusively the existence of pitmen in that locality. Who ever knew a pitman who didn't smoke? But if there were pitmeni, there were also pitmenae . I could just make out the dazzling hues of their bonnets looming flaringly through the smokecharged atmosphere . We take a seat and presently as our eyes pierce through the gloom we espy a harmonium . " What ! Music again? ' °' Yes, there is going to be a concert ." A concert down a pit ; good gracious ! what next? We, however, bethink ourselves of the maxim " nil admirari," and are silent. Suddenly a broad-shouldered grizzlybearded pitman shuffles awkwardly on his legs, which serve to give a flat contradiction to Euclid's axiom, " two straight lines cannot enclose a space," and proposes that " the ' onoman' (overman) tak the cheer," which proposition is received with cheers of another sort, and the onoman " is thrust forcibly into the "cheer ." His physiognomy is

TIIE INNI?R LIPS OF TILE BLACK COUNTRY.

characteristic and betokens sharpness and penetration . A long piercing nose, which in his courting days must have proved a serious bar to that well-known expression of affection conveyed by lips, on the end of which was balanced a pair of yellow—I beg pardon, gold-rimmed spectacles—a pair of little searching eyes twinkling over the top of his spectacles, carrying with them a sort of I-see-through-you expression ; a mouth firm set and determined ; and lips that when in motion clapped vigorously together like a duck's bill digging in the mire ; add to these a stoutish barrel-shaped body (what he lost in height lie made up in breadth) supported by a lean pair of legs which made him, when he ran, resemble a sparrow in a hurry, and a pair of hoots, the dimensions would put to shame any ordinarily sized canoes and you would have a tolerably correct portrait of the " cheerman " of the present proceedings . Sitting next him was a more rational type of humanity called " Willum," his right hand man. After order had been restored, this portly individual rose, and, adjusting his spectacles on the end of his nose so as to preclude any possibility of his seeing through them, gave vent to a few preliminary grunts, and taking a pinch of snuff and handing one to " Willum," he began a long and discursive harangue . Like the clockwork harmonium which, when the minister wound it up to play a hymn tune, would not stop . and had to be carried bodily out of the chapel, so the worthy chairman guffawed and chuckled on, detailing the whole story of his life, and dwelling fondly on his courtship and marriage with the charming creature who was sitting next her " Robbut," hanging upon the winged words that sped from his lips. At last " Willum " deferentially suggested that it might be advisable to begin the concert . The chairman agreed, and hoping that the songs would be of an "elervatin'" character, and there would be "nothin' debatched," announced, "The furst piece,on the pwogwamme is a song. entitled—What is ' t, Willum" and Willum responded suitably to the occasion as newspapers say. The first song happened to be " The Jolly Jeremiahs," which so amused and tickled " Robbut," that at the end of it he jumped up, waved his arms frantically about in windmill fashion, and shouted out, "Hurra' ! hurra' ! hurra' ! I! That's the song we want ; that elervates the feelin' and intellec' of the mass ; there's nothin debatched in that . Hurra' ! " Other "clervatin' " songs followed, if the

THE INNER. LIFE OF THE BLACK COUNTRY .

comic element can be said to have an elevating tendency, and were following, and still to follow when I decamped . The hour was late and the proceedings long, and fearing that the present contribution may seem too tedious, I hastily subscribe myself STYLUS.

SCHOOL LETTER.

HE first thing to strike an interested observer is the pleasing sight of our increased numbers, especially in the boarding houses,

where the real strength of a public school exists. Satisfactory though this may be, we note with sorrow that old faces are missing, whom it will be hard to replace, and that the new-comers will be able to give but little aid in supporting the credit of the school for some years. Football is at once all the fashion in spite of the somewhat torrid freaks of English weather . Time has made larger gaps here than was expected, notably in the case of W . E . Brockbank, whose re-appearance was hoped for up to the last minute . IIis loss will be very severely felt in more ways than one, being at once cricketer, oarsman, scene painter, and—what is more to the point here—a dangerous three-quarter back in the team . Altogether there °are at least nine vacancies ; the contests for them are certain to be very keen, especially in the case of half-back, for which there are several candidates . Among the old veterans are L . E. Stevenson, captain for the second time ; W . J. P. Kaye, who may be prevented by scholastic duties from occupying his old post ; C . J. Williamson, E . W . Clay-forth, recently elected to the post of hon. sec . ; II .

.loy, and II . Crossley. Still, on the whole, there is no need to

look forward to a bad season, for a year more is a year more, and nowhere felt more than in the football field . The School House bid fair to continue supreme in internal contests this year, and, to judge from rising exponents, for longer still. The School continues to support the institution of theatricals with exemplary unanimity ; at any rate by votes if by no more substantial offering. This year there can be no possible cause for refusing assistance, as the performance is to be public . Mr . Y cld, as usual, has unselfishly cone forward to offer his aid and instruction . The great

SCHOOL LETTER.

question at present—though no doubt it will have been settled by the time this appears iii print—we record it, however, to show that a difficulty has arisen—is, " What play are we to have ? " Some wish to essay the briny ocean in our Shakesperian barque once more, and to attempt " The Winter's Tale ;°' a larger proportion, however, prefer to go over the old ground again and represent Sheridan's " Critic," which inaugurated our dramatic era . The material is almost the same as last year, and therefore the performance promises to be a success . All good luck to it .

OBITUARY : .i.

Otr

ngusf 22nd, nt

)orit,

TIIE REVLRESI)

ROBERT DANIEL, aiirab Pasta of

rtllbzsljeij golgaft's *t43ol, ,lorlt. 'g6 75 ]tars.

NOTES AND ITEMS. T. Ilalliwell, of the Yorkshire College, has passed the Preliminary Scientific Examination (M.B .) of the University of London. Rev. H . M. Sims has been appointed to the Vicarage of St . Cuthhert's I Iunslet. Lieutenant J . IT . V . Braithwaite has been appointed to be Captain in vice G . M . Bullock in the Devonshire Regiment. We are sorry to have to announce in the obituary the death of the Rev . Robert Daniel . B .D., St . John's College, Cambridge, Vicar of Osbaldwick, and Head Master of Archbishop Ilolgate ' s School, York. IIe was also for fourteen years Mathematical Master of St . Peter's. E . W . Clayforth, R . Wilton, and A . Peters, obtained leaving certificates, in the Oxford and Cambridge Examination ; the first obtaining distinction in Latin and History, the second in Latin, and the last in Mathematics.

FOOTBALL. Football is pre-eminently odr national game, even more so than cricket, combining as it does true British bulldog pluck, and, whatever cowardly and unmanly detractors may say, a very large amount of science. Let it not be thought that the epithet " bulldog " is scant praise in its low brutality ; it is used with reference to the tenacious courage of playing an uphill game, with reference to the truth that the game is never lost till time is called . Some readers of this magazine can no doubt remember how their spirits fell when a goal dropped in the last five minutes robbed the school of a well-earned victory Drop-kicking obtains goals and wins matches more quickly and easily than anything, even than a passing game. These two points will occupy a large space in the remarks we now offer, all the more seasonably, it is to be hoped, as the time for football has already commenced . 'We wish to give a few hints as the best method of playing the game. Premising that the forwards know (1) to keep on the ball, (2) to keep it between their feet in the scrimmage, and when they get it out to dribble it quickly along in a compact body, and that the backs understand why they should not allow themselves to be collared but to finish up with a kick, we will proceed to offer some examples of what a passing game should be . If players will only remember to play unselfishly, the secret is easy, and success certain . Two instances will prove this ; suppose a player running with the ball has reached the back and is supported by one of his own side, he should charge the back and at the moment of collision pass to his companion, who then has the way open, the back being disconcerted by the sudden attack This is a special principle of the great law

an easier road. "

"pass before collared and to any one who has

For this reason, when a forward has the ball thrown

to him from touch he should at once pass to the inside three-quarter, who, for example, should run away and collect the other side well round him, and then, before collared, throw the ball right across the field to the other three-quarter, who would in all probability be able to run in without opposition or have a clear shot at goal . Another useful method is for the forwards to line diagonally across the field, passing rapidly from one to another . No means of attack can be more irritating and

FOOTBALL.

confusing, and really it is easily learnt by unselfish players . One inure hint and we have finished with forwards . When one of them is isolated he should pick the ball up and take a drop at goal if in the enemies' half, into touch if not. This applies to backs as well . If hard pressed be sure the ball goes into touch ; the distance of the kick is of less importance, and in this case indeed should permit the forwards to be on to it when thrown out at once . To half-backs we may concisely say (1), mark your opponents (2), when in possession of the ball take a drop, at goal if possible, if not under the above mentioned restrictions ; if you do not kick, pass . Three-quarters should not play too close to the scrimmage, and should support half-backs in collaring an opponent. Similarly backs should support and not interfere with each other, remembering that their duty is to secure their own goal rather than endanger their opponents.

SCHOOL HONOURS. We regret to say that we omitted the following list in our account of the Prize-giving : W . Y . Fausset, elected to the Busby Theological Scholarship in Balliol College, Oxford. A Chadwick, First Class in his College Examination, with prize of books. N. P . W. Brady, First Division in the London Matriculation. J . H . Piggin, of Trinity College, Oxford, obtained a First Class in the Classical Moderations. II . W. 'Taylor, of Trinity College, Cambridge, second in the First Class of the Law Tripos. P . L . Newman, of Christ's College, Cambridge, Nineteenth Senior Optime in the Mathematical Tripos. A . Peters, elected to an Open Mathematical Scholarship of £60 at Corpus Christi College, Cambridge. Ii . C . Wilton, elected to an Open Classical Scholarship of £50 at Christ's College, Cambridge. IL C . B. Clayforth, of Worcester College, Oxford, elected to the Abbott Classical Schh larship, value £60 .

SCHOOL HONOURS .

W . Y. Fausett, proxime accessit for Chancellor's Latin Prose Essay. G . II. Eyre, Scholar of Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, elected to a Goldsmith's Company's Exhibition of EA a year.

CORRESPONDENCE. To

THE EDITORS OF " THE PETERITE . "

SIRS,—It is hard to imagine that "Esprit de Corps " could have chosen a more unhappy noon de plume.

Did he imagine that flagrant misstatements

and libellous accusations would do anything but fan the selfish party spirit he complains of in his disconnected abuse . This is all the more to be lamented, as a certain amount of truth underlies the whole, obscured to an unfortunate extent by irrelevant remarks, that have caused

your

correspondent to wander from a safe foothold on fact to misrepresentations that cannot be substantiated . I will leave the opening portion of the letter to be dealt with by the proper persons, and proceed to point out some startling inaccuracies in the latter part of the letter. Let us hope for " Esprit de Corps" conscience sake that he did not see the race for the junior fours . Any rational observer could see that though the losers were superior in style, they had nothing like the strength for racing a crew like their opponents . To blame them with being unfit is wrong, for if they were short of practice it was because of an accident to three which prevented him from rowing for a long time. One person in particular falls in for your correspondent's invective ; the accounts in the April number point pretty clearly to whom he refers, yet I venture to say that that person took all necessary and sufficient care in training, as did all the crew. The school in general is disgusted with the arbitrary management of the subscriptions!" This is a noteworthy pr000f of what I have said above ; the writer should have stuck to his colours and said that the boating element in the school is disgracefully small and the mass is completely callous to anything connected with rowing. There can be no doubt that the subscriptions are not properly managed ; it is a very patriotic and

CORRESPONDENCE.

proper policy to contract a considerable debt on the boat-house, and yet to empty the subscriptions into the contractor's pocket . The subscriptions might be managed on some plan like this : a certain considerable sum might be set apart for improvements or to start a fund for new boats ; the rest be given in prizes . Any races involving other than personal interest should be rewarded by the distinction of winning, and a sum just sufficient to cover the expenses of practice. There should be no race for the sculls and pairs if less than four entered and three competed, and that for every additional competitor an addition should be made to the prize. The letter in question concludes with a somewhat wearisome and monotonous comparison . Let me merely ask the school not to be discouraged by this, but to pass by this ungenerous hit, as well as the misstatements in the 'rest of the letter, and think upon what truth is beneath them—an unpleasant and unpalatable truth no doubt, but still necessary for the boating committee and the mass of the school to know ; let me remind them that, though the time has come to them, as it comes to all schools sooner or later, for a periodic decline in athletics, a reaction will some day set in, and that this interval of depression is the fitting season for making unselfish provision for the generation in whose time that recovery will take place. I am, yours etc ., FAIR-PLAY.

To THE EDITORS OF " TILE PETEPITE . " DEAR

Sits,—I

regret that your correspondent has missed the point

of my letter . Personal attacks were far from my intentions . I simply protested against the principle of giving a second prize where only two boats compete, which he makes no attempt to justify . And I must again express my astonishment that it needed 2s . 6d . to induce him to oblige his opponents and keep up the School races . If "the second boat entered solely that there might be a race," they might have performed so simple a service for nothing . Nor do I see that there is anything I llogical in deploring the small number of entries, and at the same time denouncing the dangerous precedent of purchased competition. Yours truly, ESPRIT DR CORPS .

CORRESPONDENCE .

THE EDITORS ON a TIIE PETERITE . "

DEAR SIRs,—Though now an outsider, may I be allowed to make some suggestions with regard to the subject of Kaye's letter . As to the vexed question of day-boy subscriptions, I think their parents would not grudge the sum asked for, especially if distributed over the three school terms . But when there are several brothers attending school at the same time, the total amount becomes considerable, and some reduction ought to be made . Nor is it quite fair that those who come by train should pay as much as those who live in York and can play, if they choose to take the trouble . Again, the great cause of offence that Kaye mentions would be removed if the 11, etc ., paid an additional subscription . It is a grievance, sentimental to a great measure no doubt, but not altogether unnatural, that those who have received their colours get a somewhat disproportionate advantage . At any rate its removal would be the first step in a " policy of conciliation ." In the next place, Kaye proposes that £70 should be devoted to boating purposes . How is this large sum to be spent ; in " pot hunting " on an unparalleled scale of grandeur ? For his letter seems to imply that no part is to be spent in the purchase of fresh boats . I do not know the exact tenure of the site of the present boat-house, but I have no doubt that more ground might be rented and the boat-house enlarged . Out-rigged pairs can be bought second hand for about £10 to £15, and fours from £20, and there is nothing unreasonably unselfish in providing for posterity in this way, as many seem to think . I need hardly point out that the great argument against the present system is that a very large share of the subscription falls into the hands of some three or four individuals, and that, unlike the athletic sports, there are so many races of considerable value in the fours, from which the majority are excluded . It is hardly creditable that these races for honour and prestige between the divisions of the school should need a stimulus any more than inter-house matches at cricket or football . I should therefore suggest that no prizes should be given for the fours, and no seconds for any race unless at least four boats entered . The other prizes might be increased as follows : Senior Pairs Junior „

£2 0 0 ...

1 10 0

Canoes

Senior Sculls

. . . £2 0 0

Junior „

...

£1 10 0

1 10 0

CORRESPONDENCE.

If prizes for the fours should be found necessary, challenge cups might be purchased by the Committee to be held by the victors from year to year. I am confident the competition would be as keen as ever. Again, there is every probability of the same

fiasco

occuring

next year in the senior pairs—nor is it unreasonable that the two strongest oars should combine to preclude defeat . Another disadvantage of the present system is that those who are just over fifteen are virtually debarred from competing, unless they are so fortunate as to get into their house four . Now both these objections might be obviated, if in the open races a start of so many yards or seconds were given . The amount might be regulated by weight or age . Then there would be a fair chance for every one . Besides, if the handicap was for weight, some might be in consequence induced to train, and our pacific magazine would not be made the vehicle for such severe, and, it may be, well-merited criticisms as those of " Esprit de Corps . " Yours truly, PEIIEN.

[This correspondence must now cease . We believe as a matter of fact that the eleven pay an additional subscription, though the football team do not—ED .]

SOME AMUSING INCIDENTS IN PARLIAMENTARY HISTORY. Although political topics are excluded from the "Peterite" by a rule set forth in the preface, the writer thinks that a brief enumeration of some of the numerous anecdotes and incidents of an amusing nature, supplied in the history of that august body, which has been justly called " the first assemblage of gentlemen in Europe," cannot fail to be of interest to readers of our school magazine . Although numerous, there are few which can be given briefly enough for the necessary limits of the present article ; the writer will, therefore, confine his description to some of the shorter ones, and so be able to give his readers as much variety as possible .

SOME AMUSING INCIDENTS IN I' UI .IAuENTA1tY IIISTOIZY .

The complaint that members of the House of Commons go to sleep while in their seats, is not one confined to the present days alone, for we read that Alderman Atkins, a member of the Long Parliament, brought forward a motion " that all members guilty of this scandalous conduct be put out ;" whereupon Mr . Harry Martin, a humorist of the time— who by the way was one of the culprits—retorted : "Mr. Speaker, a motion has been made to turn out nodders ;

desire the noddces may

also be turned out . " There is an incident in Queen Elizabeth's life which is wo r thy of record as giving an insight into her character . Owing to numerous complaints she had received against the rulers of the Church, she gave them notice in her speech, delivered at the close of the parliamentary session of 158-1, that if they did not amend their ways, she would depose them. She also addressed the following letter to Cox, the then Bishop of Ely, who had brought himself into special disgrace by refusing to give up to the Queen's favourite, Hatton, his garden in Holborn : " Proud Prelate, you know what you were before I made you what you are. If you do not immediately comply with my request, by G—d I will unfrock you .—Elizabeth ." This is not the kind of language usually assigned to " the good Queen Bess ." Bishop Goodenough was called upon during the last century to preach before the House of Lords ; regarding which event the following lines were written : "'Tie well enough that Goodenough Before the Lords should preach ; For sure enough they're bad enough 13e undertakes to teach ." George Canning, on entering Parliament in 1793 as member for Newtown (Isle of Wight) in the Liberal interest, was shortly afterwards induced to join the conservative ranks, with reference to which a member with great wit composed the following : " The turning of coats so common has grown, That no one would think to attack it ; But no case until now was so flagrantly known Of a schoolboy who turned his jacket ." There are some good stories recorded of Lord North, which must not be passed over. IIe was a great sleeper while in the House, but often like many members of the present time, the pretended to be asleep when

SOME AMUSING INCIDENTS IN PARLIAMENTARY HISTORY.

not really so . An opponent, in the midst of an invective, exclaimed with scorn . "even now, during these perils, the noble lord is asleep ." "I wish to God I was," remarked Lord North in a deep voice from beneath his hat, which he had pulled over his face . His opponent was demolished ! On another occasion, when Colonel Barre brought forward a motion on the British Navy, Lord North, fearing a tedious and long-winded speech, said to a friend sitting near him, " Barre is sure to give us an account of our naval history from the beginning, not forgetting Sir Francis Drake and the Armada . All this is nothing to me, so let me sleep on and wake me when we come near our own times ." His friend at length roused him, when Lord North exclaimed, " Where are we'? " " At the battle of La Hogue, my Lord ." " Why, my dear friend," he remonstrated, " you have woke me a century too soon ! Lord Cranbourne (now Marquis of Salisbury) described one of Mr. Gladstone's speeches as " worthy of a pettifogging attorney ." To this remark much objection was raised . Some days after making the remark, his lordship addressed the House as follows : " I made a statement about Mr . Gladstone, for which I wish to apologize . I remarked, Sir, that the speech of the right honourable gentleman was worthy of a pettifogging attorney, and I now hasten to offer my apologies

to the attorney!"

Mr.

Gladstone had already risen to accept the apology ! But to come to still more recent times, Sir Wilfrid Lawson last year related a story to the House of Commons of the notorious member for Cavan . During the heated period of Irish obstruction, when the Coercion Bill was before the House, Mr. Biggar attended Divine Service in a city church one Sunday afternoon . From his exertions of the previous week, it is not to be wondered at that during the sermon the should fall asleep . Being roused from his slumbers by some very eloquent words from the preacher, he got up as he thought in the House of Commons, his keen and trained eye telling him, at a glance, that the forty which form a quorum were incomplete, whereupon the called out, " Mr . Speaker, I move that this House be counted ." In conclusion, the writer can only express a hope that in the perusal of the above incidents in Parliamentary history, his readers may find amusement ; and he subscribes himself as formerly ERIN GO BRAGH .