September 2020
“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.� -Thich Nhat Hanh-
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September 2020 “Smile”
Contents Volume 19, Issue 9
About the Cover Artist: Noemi Safir was born in Uruguay. At the age of 2 she immigrated with her parents to Israel. Around the age of 40, she chose to part from the life she knew and fulfill her dream to be a painter. Safir loves to paint women figures within different scenes. Most of the women are a reflection of herself, and they embody her struggle to accept her own independence as a woman, as an artist, without any apologies or doubts. “Safir’s painting technique uses fragmentation of the images and colorful rich pallet. These make her portraits so bewitching and powerful, as if to say, ‘yes I am beautiful and young, alive and full of passion, driven by emotions and desire to be myself in all my glory.’” Her vision is to touch people’s heart with her art and her story. Everything that she creates is a reflection of herself and her long road of realizing more about who we really are. Website: https://www.noemisafir.com/ Email for inquiries: noemisafirartist@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/noemiart.s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/noemi.safir.artist/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noemi-safir-artist/
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8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 28 30 33 36 38 39
Puzzling by Sally Gosen Case Make ‘em Laugh, First by Erika Hoffman Randy Hudson: Putting Down Roots by Leslie Moore The Eyes Have It! by Diane DeVaughn Stokes Dr. Mark Conard D.D.S., M.S.: You Can Save Your Smile by Leslie Moore The Loose Tooth Lesson by Diane Stark Christine Lisiecki: Happiness is a State of Mind by Leslie Moore Nicole Boone: Sharing Smiles by Leslie Moore The Best Medicine by Melissa Face Dr. Ray Cleary, DDS: Bringing Back Your Smile by Leslie Moore Sharing the Joy and the Pain: Sue Cranford by Leslie Moore Bird is the Word by Rose Ann Sinay Read It! Reviews by Nicole McManus Play Ball! by Jeffery Cohen
from the Editor
Publisher Delores Blount Sales & Marketing Director Susan Bryant Editor Leslie Moore Account Executives Stacy Danosky Erica Schneider Gay Stackhouse I visited my granddaughters Quinn and Ellis a couple of weekends ago to celebrate Quinn’s 7th birthday. She had requested a certain present, which I, of course, purchased, but it was a small item, and I asked what else she wanted. Quinn then proceeded to give me an adorably long explanation of something that wraps around your wrist and makes noise. I looked to my daughter for help. “It’s something she saw in Walgreens,” Shawn told me. “Let’s go to Walgreens and get it,” I told Quinn, and she happily agreed. We went into the store (wearing our masks for safety) and Quinn made a beeline to the toy section and found what she wanted. “Pick out something for Ellis,” I told her, because, of course, Grandma has to get something for both girls when she shops. Quinn knew exactly what Ellis wanted and went straight to another toy and picked it up. “Okay,” I said to Quinn. “What else do you want?” Quinn stopped dead in her tracks, looked at me sideways, and I could see the question in her eyes. “Are you offering Grandma?” she said seriously. Trying not to laugh, I said yes I was definitely offering. We picked out a couple of other small items and finally, as we neared the front of the store, I said, “Do you want anything else?” Again, Quinn looked at me intently and said, “Are you still offering Grandma?” I assured her, that I was indeed still offering, and she could have whatever she wanted. Quinn walked out of Walgreens that afternoon a happy little girl. And Ellis was just as pleased when we got back to Shawn’s apartment with her surprises. But, I don’t think either child was as happy as I was to have the opportunity to make them smile. Trinkets from a drugstore won’t always be exciting, but there will be other ways to show my granddaughters how much they are loved – and I am always offering.
Art Director Patrick Sullivan Contributing Photographer Chasing the Light Photography Web Developer Scott Konradt Accounting Gail Knowles Executive Publishers Jim Creel Bill Hennecy Suzette Rogers PO Box 1389, Murrells Inlet, SC 29576 fax 843-626-6452 • phone 843-626-8911 www.sasee.com • info@sasee.com Sasee is published monthly and distributed free along the Grand Strand. Letters to the editor are welcome, but could be edited for length. Submissions of articles and art are welcome. Visit our website for details on submission. Sasee is a Strand Media Group, Inc. publication. Copyright © 2020. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any material, in part or in whole, prepared by Strand Media Group, Inc. and appearing within this publication is strictly prohibited. Title “Sasee” is registered with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.
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Puzzling
by Sally Gosen Case I found the jigsaw puzzle about a year into the renovatingand-moving-in process. It was at the bottom of one of many randomly-packed boxes. I paused in my sorting to look at the picture: a mountain and a lake. We had put this puzzle together many years ago, when my husband was alive and my son was small. Wondering why I had even brought it to the new house, I set it on a shelf and continued to work.
life into was in peril and he had no income. I showed him my puzzle. I told him about the late nights, the hard work, the long phone calls, and the simplicity and stillness in finding the next right piece. Of course, now we needed the dining table for meals. The puzzle shifted to the tea cart. He joined me in the late evenings, poring over the piles of pieces. We were a family again, doing family things. The puzzle grew.
I worked a lot: First at my eight-to-five job, then at home, late into the night. Often I worked on the house or unpacked boxes while talking on the phone; it was a hard time for my family, with illnesses, injuries, and worry. I worked, talked, and fretted until it was far past my time to drop into bed. Of course, I wouldn’t wind down and fall asleep for hours. Then it was time to drag myself off to my job again.
These days won’t last forever. There is talk of reopening the school. Someday this will all be part of history and life will have moved on. While he has been here, though, we have made tremendous progress on the house and yard. Projects that I thought I wouldn’t get done for years are now finished. We have found great and unexpected joy as two adult friends working together side-by-side.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the puzzle. It was a neatly boxed-up reminder of a time when we were a family who took time to be a family. I remembered long rainy evenings, playing games and doing puzzles. It seemed like a dream. I didn’t have time for such things now.
Soon the time will come when he will go back to the life he has built in the city, and I will stay here by the ocean. I will continue at my eight-to-five and slowly finish up the last of my renovation projects. The evening phone calls will come, brightness and shadow, part of love and friends and family and life. The puzzle will remind me at the ends of each of my days: this will not be finished in an hour, or even a week. You may think you have the big picture, but you can’t really see the shape of things until it all comes together, and that may take longer than you can possibly imagine. The piece that seems like it absolutely must go where you think it ought to will not fit if that is not where it should be, regardless of your opinion. The piece that looks like it doesn’t belong anywhere may well be just what you need later on to make everything fall into place. Give it time. Be patient. Little by little, the puzzle grows.
Or did I? Really, how productive was I when I was exhausted and discouraged? Could I fit puzzles into my schedule now? Could I re-find that little piece of my now-distant family life? It seemed pathetic and lonely to build a puzzle all alone, but it might be an indulgence that could fit into a renovator’s routine. And after all, I ate by myself, so I rarely used the dining table. There was plenty of room for a puzzle there. I opened the box. I started to find some edge pieces. I was hooked. Carpet tiles were installed, room by laborious room. Trim was cleaned, sanded, and sealed. The phone rang every night. It followed me from room to room with the speaker turned up. But every night now, the time arrived to end my day and sit at the dining table, quietly fitting pieces together and talking with my loved ones. The puzzle grew. The months passed. One project would be wrapped up as several others clamored for my attention. The phone calls came: some with joy, some with sadness. I bought more puzzles. One by one, they came together on my table. Then COVID happened. Suddenly my predictable eight-tofive became a wild roller coaster. My son’s college closed and his job disappeared, so he came to stay with me in my little reno by the ocean. The program he had put five years of his 8 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
Sally Gosen Case lives and writes on the beautiful Oregon coast. Her poetry and nonfiction have appeared in a wide variety of publications, including Horticulture, Rocky Mountain Rider, and Time of Singing. Sally and her son coauthor a popular Oregon travel blog, casingoregon.com.
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Make ‘em Laugh, First by Erika Hoffman
“Never cook bacon naked,” my husband announced as he turned over the bacon, and it spat and splattered around the cooktop. “Not today,” I replied, smiling. I flipped an omelet on the next eye. I spied his sleeve hovering above the grill and feared he was going to set himself on fire. Our dachshunds sat hunched below the stove, waiting patiently. When my husband turned away to get a plate, I bent over the grill, tripping on the dogs and nearly re-creating a Mrs. Doubtfire moment. “I can see how cooking breakfast can be hazardous to your health as one ages and gets forgetful and… more bosomy.” “Johnny Carson. That’s who said that about not cooking bacon while naked.” “So, it wasn’t original to you?” “I just thought of it now as the bacon popped.” “It’s funny and good advice.” I got to thinking about humor and how the funny stuff is always based on some little truth, like when Erma Bombeck said: “Have you ever noticed the first suitcase off the conveyor belt never belongs to anyone?” People laugh when they recognize something they’ve seen or known or something that makes sense, but they’ve not thought of it in that way until the comic or the humorous writer points out the obvious. I’ve read a sense of humor is genetic. Usually funny people beget funny people. Just like promiscuous people beget promiscuous people. I asked my old man once if he thought this true since both Mom and he were funny, and I’ve been told I can be funny, at times. He shrugged. And then he said deadpan, “My folks weren’t funny.” “Where then do you think you got your sense of humor, Dad?” “New Jersey.” “New Jersey made you funny?” “Yeah, folks there have a developed sense of humor.” “So, it’s place. It’s where you were born and raised that makes you funny. Nurture not nature?” 10 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
He could be on to something. It does seem as if our TV comedians come from the New York/New Jersey area, but then again Andy Griffith was awfully adroit at situational humor, and he was a Tar Heel. Erma came from Ohio, a housewife from Dayton, who turned the mundane into the hilarious. Midwest folks aren’t usually side splitters; yet, Johnny Carson was. Certain ethnicities are known for being funnier than others. Mostly, I’m from German roots, and Germans aren’t famous for their sense of humor although they do laugh a lot and enjoy life. Maybe it’s the beer. The Brits think themselves cleverly funny, and granted they do sport funny hats and mismatched clothes. Some Americans are amused by the Anglo-Saxon understated type of humor. When I was in Britain, I noticed how many British tried out tongue-incheek jokes on Americans, which could be sort of snickering funny, but not really my cup of tea any more than Downton Abbey’s low-energy plots are my type of soap opera. I can speak French. I can read French. But when it comes to translating a French cartoon or joke, I’m at a loss. I don’t find them funny. Maybe one must have some common gestalt type of understanding or field of experience to share their sense of humor. Maybe how one interprets funny is in the DNA of a group of folks or in their shared culture? I’ve lived in the South since I was 18, and some of my Southern friends are funny, but often, they take me seriously when I am joking. I must not have the timing or the proper facial expression or the wording just right for them to realize I’m poking fun. When I poke fun at myself, they’ll rush to soothe me and prop me up. I don’t want to take the wind out of their Oprah-like, consoling ways or embarrass them by telling them I’m pretending; I’m just spoofing; I’m mocking myself. I don’t mean it. It’s called self-deprecating humor. For instance, the other day I was at a tea, yeah, like a British tea, and we were talking about being grandmas and the differences nowadays raising children. I said how my daughter-in-law is a much better mom than I was. Looking anguished for me, they all gushed, “I’m sure that’s not true!” Then, they peered at me with pitying eyes. And once I had their attention, I continued, “Yeah, I was a terrible mom. I let my kids watch TV all day long. They could eat as much candy as they collected after trick-or-treating all alone in strange neighborhoods; I let them ride bikes without helmets – even at night, and I spanked them every
Tuesday… whether they needed it or not.” I expected them to laugh at my punch line. Instead, they looked horrified! Then one older, genteel lady reached over for my hand and said, “You had four kids. I’m sure you did the best you could.” Another said: “You used to volunteer in your kids’ classrooms. Remember? You were a good mother.” She tried to pump up my ego and reassure me I wasn’t a doppelganger for Mommy Dearest. Now, how the heck could I tell this table of sincere, kind Southern women, I was only teasing, well … at least the part about spanking my children every Tuesday. (I’m sure a few Tuesdays got past me.)
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Seriously. Maybe I’m not congenitally equipped to be a stand-up comic. And maybe at the tea, I failed the first rule of communication, which is Know your audience. Maybe my timing was off? Yet, I believe one must win folks over by using humor. If you get a person to laugh, you can get him to listen, and maybe you can get him or her to like you and better still maybe you can persuade him or her to your point of view. My circuitous route in this essay hopefully got me to the take-away message: Use humor whenever you can. Make your audience smile, laugh, or outright hee-haw. Once you have their attention and you’ve put them in a conciliatory mood where they identify with what you’re saying, then the salesman in you can deliver your wares. You can sell them on your message. You must be yourself. If you see the world a little at a-tilt, don’t deny your funny genes. Be you. If you’re witty or pranky or tongue-in -cheek funny, expose it. You don’t have to go along to get along if that means acting vanilla-bland boring. Remember Mark Twain’s famous words in The Mysterious Stranger: “Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
Erika Hoffman likes to joke but what she likes more is to hear jokes. She prefers comedies to tear-jerkers. And she likes to write stories that she hopes will make folks laugh.
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Randy Hudson: Putting Down Roots by Leslie Moore
What do you do for fun? I am an avid sports fan and love spending time with family and friends (including the furry ones). Is there something in your life that always makes you smile? I am a big believer that happiness is a state of mind not a destination. The goal is to find joy in wherever you are. How do you believe humor helps members of Portside? I love the Victor Borge quote – “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Humor is therapeutic. It is hard to be stressed out when you are laughing and having fun. It is only work when you are not having fun! What do you love the most about working with seniors and helping them have the best possible life? I have always bragged to my friends that I get hugs every day that I am in the community. As a full COVID disclaimer, they have turned into “air-hugs” and elbow bumps these days. It is an honor to work with a team that is as committed as I am to servant leadership and helping bring joy and comfort to those around us. Meet Randy Hudson, who recently took over as Executive Director of Portside at Grande Dunes and relocated to Myrtle Beach. If you see Randy out and about, please take the time to welcome him to the Grand Strand. When did you take over as Executive Director of Portside at Grande Dunes? I became the administrator on June 1st, but I have been in this industry for almost nine years. Until now I have always had a regional role, and have been involved with 44 communities in 11 states. I am glad to put the luggage away and start to establish some roots. Tell us a little about yourself. I have lived in the Atlanta area for my entire life – except for a three year period in Seattle, Washington. I have a 23-year-old son that just graduated from Auburn University and is currently serving in the Army at Fort Wainwright in Fairbanks Alaska. As true empty nesters, my wife of 24 years, Cat, and I (and yes, my son did the math long ago) have filled the void with three dogs that we love taking on walks at the beach.
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What is one thing we should know about you? My wife and I bred one of our current dogs –and had to tube feed her from birth. That officially makes us pit bull breeders! Portside at Grande Dunes offers Assisted Living, Independent Living and Memory Care all designed to keep members involved in activities to make them smile. To schedule a virtual tour of this state of the art facility, call 843-999-2494 or visit portsidegranddunes.com.
The Eyes Have It! by Diane DeVaughn Stokes
So how are you feeling? Are you missing personal contact with your friends and family? I surely am. This COVID 19 has changed our lives in so many ways, and I’m sure we are all forever changed as a result. I really miss hugging. Zooming and FaceTiming are awesome but there’s nothing like hugging someone and feeling their heartbeat next to yours, or even shaking their hand. There’s something intimate about those greetings, but this arm bump or wimpy wave is a poor substitute. Yet, I don’t think we will ever return to hugging or shaking hands even after a vaccine is found. We have learned too much how germs spread amongst each other. I never realized how much I would miss personal contact. But there’s something I miss even more than hugging now that masks are mandatory, and by the way, they should be mandatory! Make no mistake; with my low-immune issues I wear mine religiously, except to bed! Ever since the mask ordinance was imposed, I miss smiles terribly. There’s no doubt that a smile from me to a stranger would brighten their day, as their smile back to me would do the same. Last week, as I waited six feet behind a family in front of me at my favorite grocery store, I smiled at the unmasked mother of the four kids who were driving her nuts, begging for gum and begging for candy. One of the kids even tried to jump out of her cart, but I forgot that she could not see me smiling. When she finished paying her bill she turned to me and said, “I hope we weren’t too annoying to you.” That’s when I pulled up my mask and said, “Oh no.” You could not see, but I was smiling. “Would you like to take these four home with you?” she asked. I simply replied, “Having done four years of fertility to no avail, I want you to remember how blessed you really are. And be sure to get a mask so you’ll be around to watch them grow-up.” She huffed and walked off. I felt sad because she could not see me smiling through the whole ordeal. Instead she thought I was turned off by the kids’ behavior. I’m also miffed that no one looks you in the eye anymore when they are walking towards you! Are they embarrassed to be wearing a mask? Heck they are saving their life and mine. Or do they figure no one is going to recognize them anyway? I must admit I’ve surely noticed this lately. Formerly 14 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
it took me an hour to run into the store for bread and milk due to stopping to chat with everyone. Now, either no one recognizes me all masked up or nobody cares as they just want to get home in the safety of their own little bubble. Can’t say I blame them. In the past, our faces and expressions told the world how we were feeling: Happy, sad, confused, lost, ecstatic, or lonely. I have always loved smiling. My mom says she named me after a popular song she loved in the ‘50s, and luckily she is still here to sing it to me: “I’m in heaven when I see you smile. Smile for me my Diane.” But as I grew older, I was smiling and talking to everyone, even strangers, and my grandmother tried to reel me in. I can still hear her saying, “Honey, you are too damn friendly for your own good!” But, sorry Nana. As much as I miss you and your guidance and advice, I have never stopped being friendly and still offer a smile to all that I meet, even while wearing a mask. There’s a song whose lyrics have never seemed more pertinent than they are today. I sing it every morning in an effort to face this incredibly crazy world we are living in. As Nat King Cole sang: Smile though your heart is aching Smile even though it’s breaking When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by… If you smile through your fear and sorrow Smile and maybe tomorrow You’ll see the sun come shining through For you….just smile! So when you see me around town, if you should happen to recognize me, know that I am smiling the most welcoming and loving smile to you, and I hope you are doing the same for me. Don’t let my mask, mask what is truly in my heart. I hope my eyes will say it all! Diane DeVaughn Stokes Diane is the host and producer for “Inside Out” as seen on HTC TV Channel 4, and serves as a commercial spokesperson for several local businesses. She and her husband Chuck own Stages Video productions in Myrtle Beach and share passions for food, theater, travel and scuba diving. They own three four legged kids that they adore!
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Dr. Mark Conard D.D.S., M.S.: You Can Save Your Smile by Leslie Moore
Endodontist Dr. Mark Conard is passionate about smiles. A Clemson University alumnus, Dr. Conard continued his education at MUSC, graduating from dental school in 2009. After working in General Dentistry for a year, he decided to pursue a degree in Endodontics and graduated from Ohio State University. An Endodontist must complete two or more years of additional training after becoming a General Dentist. Born in the small town of Clyde, North Carolina, about 25 miles west of Asheville, Dr. Conard practiced in the Charlotte area for two years, but jumped at the opportunity to move to the South Carolina coast in 2014. An outdoorsman, he loves to hunt and fish – along with most any outdoor activity. The most important thing in his life is time with his family and friends. “And my dogs,” he said with a chuckle. I asked Dr. Conard why he chose to be an Endodontist, and he told me, “I have a passion for this industry because it is both rewarding and satisfying to help someone save a tooth and their smile!” Dr. Conard continued, with a more personal reason for his choice of career. “I love baseball, and played from the time I was very young – I was even offered a chance to play professionally,” Dr. Conard began. “When I was 16, I was playing and had a line drive bounce up and hit me in the face. It hit me so hard it broke my upper face bone (maxilla) and knocked my two front teeth out completely. My friend that played second base handed them to me, but my coach knew they had to be placed back into my mouth immediately.” Dr. Conard laughed then, telling me the coach put his teeth in the wrong positions, but this action saved his natural teeth. “I rode an hour home and my dad, who is a General Dentist, repositioned the teeth correctly. As a result, I had to have root canals on those two teeth and ended up having to have three more later due to the trauma. Root canal therapy saved my teeth and they are still there today.” Many people are not aware that root canal therapy is used extensively after accidents that damage the teeth. Recently, Dr. Conard had a young patient who lost teeth in a sport accident and was able to save them all. 16 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
Root canal therapy is a frightening idea for many people, and I asked Dr. Conard to explain how it works. “Root canal treatment is designed to eliminate bacteria from the infected root canal to prevent re-infection of the tooth and save your natural tooth. We painlessly remove the infected pulp and carefully clean the inside of the tooth. The tooth is then disinfected, filled and sealed.” Continuing, he said, “This treatment is virtually painless and often leaves you with less discomfort than a tooth extraction. We use modern techniques and effective anesthesia to make sure you have a positive experience.” Dr. Conard is committed to being available to his patients in order to ease their pain as quickly as possible. “We will relieve any worries you may have about your Endodontic procedure and make the experience as stress free as possible. We Endodontists refer to ourselves as ‘Specialists in Saving Teeth,’” he told me. “I am committed to helping you maintain your natural smile. Your natural teeth are worth saving.” Intercoastal Endo, Dr. Conard’s practice, is located at 4382 Oleander Drive in Myrtle Beach. Contact his office by calling 843-449-4900, visiting intercoastalendo.com or find Intercoastal Endo on Facebook.
Specializing in: Root Canal Therapy Endodontic Retreatment Surgical Root Canal Treatment (Apicoectomy) Cracked Teeth • Dental Trauma Digital X-rays & 3D X-rays
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The Loose Tooth Lesson by Diane Stark
“
The day was just beginning, and I already felt defeated.
I was overwhelmed as I looked at my To Do List for that day. So many things needed to be done that I knew I’d be up all night to get half of them done. The day was just beginning, and I already felt defeated.
“What do you still need to do?”
”
I listed some of the tasks I hadn’t gotten around to yet. Nathan frowned. “Did you do anything fun today?”
As I was making coffee, my 11-year-old son, Nathan, came into the kitchen. “Mom, there’s a book I want on Amazon,” he said. “Can I spend my allowance to buy it?” I sat down at the computer to look at the item he wanted. It was Star Wars, as everything was in his life these days. When I looked at the price of the book, I realized it was two dollars more than his allowance. “Do you have any money left from last week? Because this book is…” Before I could finish, Nathan held up his hands to stop me. “Mom, I already know what you’re going to say. I’m two dollars short. But I’m planning to lose a tooth today.” I burst out laughing. He had me and he knew it. The tooth fairy at our house always paid exactly two dollars for teeth. Plus, the orthodontist had just told us that Nathan had just a few more teeth to lose before he could get his braces, so I’d been encouraging him to get them out. “Do you even have any that are loose?” I asked. He nodded and showed me. “I’ll wiggle it all day,” he promised. So I ordered the book he wanted. Then I started working on my To Do List. As I expected, I worked all day and barely got through half of the tasks. At bedtime, Nathan’s tooth was not under his pillow. It was still in his mouth. When I asked him about it, he said, “I got busy playing with the dogs and I forgot to wiggle it.” I smiled. “That’s okay. I got busy too. Only half of my To Do List is done.”
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I thought back and then shook my head. “No, there wasn’t time.” “Can you only do the things on your list?” “I try to do those things first, and then I can do something fun after the things on the list are done.” “Mom, how often do you actually finish your list?” It was a good question. The honest answer was never. Nathan could read it on my face. “I planned to lose my tooth today, but I didn’t. And it’s okay. If you don’t finish your list, that will be okay too.” I hugged him and said, “You’re such a smart kid. I’d planned to work on my list some more after I tucked you in, but I’m not going to. All of those tasks will still be there tomorrow.” He smiled. “What are you going to do instead? Something fun? You need to do something fun.” “You’re right. Something fun it is.” After I left Nathan’s room, I remembered the load of laundry still in the dryer. I was tempted to get it out and fold it, but I’d promised Nathan I’d do something fun. I put on my pajamas and read a novel I’d wanted to read for months. It felt wonderful. The next morning, my husband, Eric, asked Nathan if his tooth had come out yet. Nathan shook his head. “Mom and I
decided last night that sometimes plans change and that’s okay,” he said. “I planned to lose my tooth yesterday, but I didn’t. I taught Mom that she doesn’t have to do everything she planned to do every day either.” Eric smiled. “That’s a lesson she needed to learn, Bud.” I overheard their conversation and smiled. Eric was right. It was a lesson I needed to learn. My 11-year-old son felt he needed to give me permission to take some time off and have fun. What message was I sending him? I needed to make some changes. A few days later, Nathan’s book arrived from Amazon, but that tooth was still in his mouth. That’s okay though. Because that load of laundry was still in the dryer, but I was halfway through my novel.
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As Nathan and I snuggled on the couch, reading together, he smiled. “I’m glad you decided to have fun, Mom. Even though all of the work isn’t done.” I realized that all of the work will never be done. No matter how hard I tried, I’d always have tasks on a To Do List. But now, thanks to a little boy with a loose tooth, having fun is one of those tasks.
Diane Stark is a wife and mom of five. She loves to write about her family and her faith. Her essays have been published in over 20 Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
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Christine Lisiecki:
Happiness is a State of Mind by Leslie Moore
“I’m 89 but I don’t feel 89. And I don’t dress like 89,” said Christine when I asked about her life. “I keep active, even though I haven’t been able to do as much since the corona virus started.” A lover of fashion, Christine enjoys shopping for clothes, even though she does most of her shopping online now. “My UPS man says I’m his biggest customer,” she laughed. “If I don’t wear if for a year, I get rid of it!”
Christine Lisiecki is living her best life every day, finding fun in life no matter what else is going on. The day we talked, Christine was finalizing the sale of her condo and preparing to move into an independent living apartment at New Haven Senior Living in Little River. “I found New Haven through a friend,” Christine told me as we began. “My family has wanted me to move into Independent Living for some time. I have one son in Pennsylvania, and one son in Boston – they’re concerned about me. So finally I started looking.” Christine found quite a few that weren’t a good fit for her, but New Haven is perfect for her active lifestyle. “There were a few things that I really liked; one, they have a swimming pool and I love to swim, and two, they have happy hour six days a week!” After we shared a laugh, Christine told me her sons came down and agreed she has made a good choice. “I’m looking forward to moving to New Haven. The amenities are beautiful. And someone will always be available if I need assistance.” Christine will have a roommate – her 13 year old Westie “I rescued him when he was six,” Christine told me. “He’s my Velcro dog and never gets far away from me – he’s a lousy conversationalist though.” “I’m a very social person. I worked in sales and have always enjoy being around people,” Christine told me when I asked about her decision to move. Most importantly, this is her choice. “Make your move to independent or assisted living when you’re able to do it, not when your family has to do it for you.” 20 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
Christine was widowed 20 years ago and was living in New York at the time. She has always worked, starting out in administrative work and at one time she worked for a company that sold Lear Jets. “I sold the accessories, but these accessories could cost more than $200,000,” Christine remembered. Then she went to work for a tech company called Time Plex that developed the technology leading to artificial intelligence like the Alexa we use today. “My last job was working as a receptionist for BMW. I moved to Pennsylvania to be near my son and didn’t know a soul. I had so much fun at that job.” “My two grandchildren live here. Christopher owns a local business and Elizabeth is a travelling nurse.” Both are helping Christine pare down her belongings. “I decided on the one bedroom unit at New Haven, and I will still have a kitchen, even though I can eat three meals a day in the dining room.” When I asked how she stays so upbeat Christine replied, “I love life, first of all, I always feel it’s so much easier to smile than it is to frown.” Continuing, she said, “I had a good home life and a wonderful husband. When he passed I made a life for myself. I enjoy doing things.” Christine shared that she took up tap dancing at 50.” I don’t like to sit around doing nothing.” “Formerly an avid golfer, Christine does still walk some, but says she’s not an avid exerciser. “The hot, humid weather is hard on me.” But she doesn’t let her age stop her. “I feel that even though you become older, you can still enjoy life. Just adjust your life to how you feel. I am not going to let anything get me down.” “I feel very fortunate. If I die today, I’ve had a good run.” To learn more about New Haven Little River, visit their website at www.newhavencarolina.com or call 843-305-7377. The brand new facility is located at 2585 Hwy 179 in Little River.
Nicole Boone: Sharing Smiles by Leslie Moore
Every weekday, viewers tune in to WBTW to see and hear their favorite news anchor, Nicole Boone. Her friendly, open, personality has made her one of our area’s most popular television personalities. When you meet Nicole, or Nickie, her real name, you soon realize that the woman you see on screen is exactly the same engaging woman in person. Nickie became Nicole when she started her broadcasting career. Nickie’s manager convinced her to change her name, and she laughed, telling me, “It’s not that way today. We are much more open and allow people to be who they are.” Since 1989, Nickie has been a familiar face, a friend who reported our news and shared in our happiness and pain. But, as Nickie says, “everything changes,” and in November, this beloved news anchor will leave her long-running position for a brand new chapter. As we started our chat, I asked Nickie to talk about some of the changes she’s seen since coming to WBTW. “The biggest is the technology,” she said, thinking back. “When I started you had a huge camera and a large light and tripod. Now everything is so small and done digitally – there’s no tape.” Nickie said the WBTW studio is absolutely gorgeous also, with state of the art equipment and technology. Nickie continued, looking back at the ups and downs of her industry. “Our market has grown due to the population size of our area, and we moved the main facility from Florence to Myrtle Beach, but the coverage area remains the same.” Television, like most industries, went through a difficult few years after the 2008 recession. “That was a hard time, but I am so thankful and proud to be a part of this station for so long. We have a lot of good people.” Nickie and her coanchor, Bob Juback, have been together nearly 27 years, one of the longest running anchor teams in the United States. “Bob is like my TV husband/brother. We have been through so much together. Our children were born close to the same times, and we both went through divorces. Through it all we looked to each other for support.” It was obvious this is an emotional transition for Nickie. “It’s sad for it to come to an end, but everything changes.” “The news business is very different today,” she began, thoughtfully. “We have social media platforms that allow people to say things without thinking.” Nickie told me she 22 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
hopes people will think before they post something on social media that may hurt someone who is really having a bad day. “I show people grace and kindness when I get negative comments,” she said, continuing. “Today people tend to blame the media for everything that goes wrong. My hope is that we can all work together for good.” She was quick to add that her fans are one of her biggest joys and negative comments are few and far between. “It’s important to me to treat people with respect and consideration.” Growing up in rural Roebuck, South Carolina, near Spartanburg, Nickie was surrounded by a loving extended family. “All of my dad’s family lived on our road. I spent my childhood in the woods; going fishing and hunting, riding dirt bikes – I was always a tomboy.” This love for nature has stayed with Nickie, whose favorite pastimes are walking her dog, biking and hiking – and of course, she loves the beach. As an only child, her father’s death when she was 18 was very hard. “He was only 42,” she told me. “I didn’t get any grief counseling, and I wish I had. I tell everyone to please go talk to someone who is professionally trained when you have a tragedy in your life.” After losing her dad, Nickie, a freshman, went back to college as planned and graduated from Winthrop with a degree in communications in 1988. Young and eager to work, Nickie’s first job was with WGSC in Myrtle Beach, an evangelical Christian station that is now
Fox 43. When she moved to WBTW in 1989, Nickie settled in Florence. Her career flourished, and Nickie married and had two children, the lights of her life.
his fraternity, so they saw each other at various events. The two dated again, briefly, in 2010, after both had married and divorced, but again, the relationship didn’t last. “I said God would really have to change my heart for me to be married,” Nickie said with a chuckle. And the change came three years ago when Watts texted, saying he was coming to the beach and would she be interested in having lunch or dinner to catch up. “I told him I’d have dinner, that way we would have a little more time to talk.” The two ended up at Gulf Stream Café, sitting at the bar having a glass of wine. “I got up to go to the ladies room and he reached over to kiss me,” Nicole told me laughing. “I said, no way!” Since that night, the two have been inseparable, spending almost every weekend together, laughing often about that first date. Three years later, this past March, the couple went to the same restaurant to celebrate their anniversary. Unbeknownst to Nickie, Watts had plans to propose. “We were sitting at the bar and he said, ‘I want to kiss you forever,’ and I told him, of course you can honey. I was looking at him and didn’t realize he had a ring in his hand until I saw he was sweating!” Of course, she said yes. “God has given me this tremendous blessing. He sent me this great guy, and I am all in.”
Unfortunately, her marriage ended, and Nickie’s focus became her children and her career. I asked how her children handled having a mom in the public eye. “My children grew up with it, and Mom being on television was normal,” she told me. “A couple of times I had to bring them to work, but they didn’t think it was anything special. They were more concerned with what we were eating for dinner, and what we were doing on the weekend. I was just Mom.”
Sometime between now and November, Nickie and Watts will wed in a private ceremony, and Nickie will move to Rock Hill to start her new life. “I will still be working for WBTW once a month,” Nickie shared excitedly. “I asked the station managers if they would be open to me doing live community spots each month and they said yes.” Continuing she said, “This will keep me engaged with audiences and show more of my personality.”
Today, Nickie’s children are 19 and 22. Her son, Mac, just graduated from Clemson and is living in Rock Hill, South Carolina, working for the company building the new Carolina Panther’s stadium. Her daughter, Olivia “Livie” is a rising sophomore, also at Clemson. And…Nickie is engaged to the love of her life, Watts Huckabee, whose recent marriage proposal is the reason behind her departure. “I never thought I would be married again,” Nickie said, her eyes glowing as she talked about Watts. “We dated during my senior year in college, and I was madly in love,” she began. “But it didn’t last and I thought that was it.” The two kept in touch through the years. Nickie is a little sister to Sasee.com :: September 2020 :: 23
But, by far, her favorite interviews are the ones with the people living and working in our community. “They are really the best people to interview, and are my inspiration to keep doing what I do. There’s nothing better than meeting someone who truly likes you, they tell you, they’re kind, and you have a connection.” Nickie shared another new and fun project that will keep her connected – and it’s also great news for those of us who will miss seeing her daily broadcasts. “I have a Facebook Fan Page, and I’ve started airing “Conversations with Nicole” the first Tuesday of every month at 10am.” The format is casual, featuring conversations with community leaders, entrepreneurs, lawmakers, educators, health experts and much more. “If anyone has an idea of someone who should be highlighted, please send me a message on my Fan Page.”
Nickie has reported on some amazing stories during her career. Some, like the story of the lost Baby Grace, were heartbreaking. Baby Grace was drowned by her mother in Socastee in 2015. The story and search for the five month old infant shook our community. “I cried on the air when Baby Grace was found in the waterway.” Nickie told me. “I was the one working when there was a special cut-in reporting she had been found. It was so hard to tell people what happened to that sweet little baby.”
“Television and what I do is so much fun, and I love it,” Nickie said, with obvious emotion, as we finished our conversation. “I never take for granted the responsibility and the community we serve. TV has never been about being on the air. It doesn’t define me; it’s just a part of who I am. Being a child of God, a mom, a good friend and now getting ready to be a good wife is bigger than anything else in my life.” Join Nicole and Bob at 5pm, 6pm and 11pm on WBTW TV 13. After November, join Nicole monthly as she looks for fun and adventure throughout our community!
Other stories have been memorable and exciting. “One of the most fun things that ever happened was in the ‘90s when I was sent to Hollywood to interview the stars of the The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful, two popular soap operas.” Nickie told me she was chosen to be an extra in an episode of The Young and the Restless while she was in California, but nothing excited her SHOP THE UNUSUAL more than one special interview. “Eric HOME FURNISHINGS • ACCESSORIES Braeden, the actor who plays Victor ANTIQUES • INTERIOR DESIGN Newman, happened to walk by me CUSTOM WINDOW TREATMENTS on the set, and I asked him if I could interview him – and he agreed, inviting YELLOW OT DOT RED D me and our cameraman to his dressing S T C U LOSEO O UTS CLOSE room.” Nickie was thrilled just to get FF 60% OF 70% O F the interview, but it got even better. “He said, you know, you’re a pretty girl,” John S. Gore, Owner, Designer, Allied ASID Nickie told me laughing. “I nearly lost 843-692-7844 • bgrahamint@aol.com it. He made me feel so special. It was SHOWROOM LOCATION: 1307 ENTERPRISE AVE. MYRTLE BEACH one of the most exciting times of my BETWEEN GRISSOM PKWY. & SEABOARD STREET • BGRAHAMINTERIORS.COM career.” MON - FRI 9am - 5pm • SAT BY APPOINTMENT
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The Best Medicine
“
by Melissa Face
I put on my glamorous paper towel gown and climbed on the cot and nervously waited for someone to reassure me that everything was okay. Early in my pregnancy, I felt a stabbing pain on the right side of my pelvis. It was constant, and I knew it should be checked to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. My husband, Craig, drove me to the ER, and we were led to a small, corner room. I put on my glamorous paper towel gown and climbed on the cot and nervously waited for someone to reassure me that everything was okay. Noticing my anxiety, Craig began taking down some of the instruments on the metal cart as though he were a physician. He pretended to take my vitals and asked me about my symptoms, all while speaking nonsense. Of course, I laughed. His plan was working, and I was already feeling a little more relaxed. Then, Craig walked over to the pain management chart and picked up a dry erase marker. “Where is your pain on this scale, from one to ten?” he asked. I told him I was a ten, even though it was probably more like a seven. He took the red marker and drew devil horns on the last face of the scale, then added hands and a small dagger. He pointed to his artwork. “How about now?” he asked. “Is this more representative of how you are feeling today?”
”
Craig quickly returned the equipment to its proper location just as the doctor pulled back the curtain and entered the room. I was crying from laughing so hard at my husband and at the possibility of being caught like a couple of kids. After hearing my symptoms, the doctor ordered an ultrasound, and I headed down the hall. We waited about an hour to find out the results: I had a cyst on my right ovary. The doctor told me they were pretty common and he did not expect for it to complicate my pregnancy in any way. He suggested I take Tylenol to deal with the pain and to put my feet up more often throughout the day. I followed his advice, and I took Tylenol as recommended. But I’m convinced it was the laughter that really made me feel better. My husband and I have always been able to find humor in uncomfortable situations. Sometimes our laughter gets us into trouble, but his playful spirit was one of the reasons I wanted him as a life partner. In our sixteen years of marriage, we’ve experienced a lot of sadness and stress. We’ve had money trouble, job worries, and health concerns. But through it all, we’ve made an effort to find something we could laugh about together. And I hope, for the rest of our lives, the laughter will outweigh the pain.
“Yes!” I laughed. “That is accurate.” We were both cracking up when the nurse slid the curtain back and approached me with a blood pressure monitor. She looked at us a bit curiously. “I’m going to take your vitals; then the doctor will be right in,” she said. Craig shrugged as if to say, “I thought I had taken care of that already.” Then we both smiled and waited for her to finish. After she left, Craig grabbed another device from the wall and placed it on my chest. He was pretending to shock my heart back into rhythm when we heard approaching footsteps. 28 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
Melissa Face is the author of I Love You More Than Coffee, an essay collection for parents who love coffee a lot and their kids...a little more. Her essays and articles have appeared in Richmond Family Magazine, ScaryMommy, and twenty-one volumes of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Read more at melissaface.com
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Dr. Ray Cleary, DDS: Bringing Back Your Smile by Leslie Moore
he served for 12 years. Calling himself a compassionate conservative, Dr. Cleary shared a little about his time as a state lawmaker. “Two of the accomplishments I’m most proud of are being honored as legislator of the year by the Committee for Disabilities and Special Needs for my work helping autistic children, and I was given the Green Tie Award, which is another legislator of the year award given for environmental work.” This caring legislator also helped pass the Raffle Bill, which benefitted all South Carolina non-profits, especially his beloved Shriners and Lion’s Club.
Dr. Ray Cleary, dentist and owner of Tidelands Dental, knows a lot about smiles and how important they are to our quality of life. “When you smile, people think you’re happy. Your smile brings back a lot of smiles,” he said thoughtfully.
I asked Dr. Cleary about the importance of dental work and he shared a wonderful story. “We had an older woman, in her mid 70s, come in to the office with her husband,” he began. “Her teeth looked like a quilt – they were badly deteriorated, and she wanted crowns and veneers. Her husband wasn’t excited about his wife having the work done and wondered if it was really necessary.” Continuing with a laugh, Dr. Cleary told me, “A month after we finished, her husband stopped by the office to bring me a bottle of wine and told me, ‘My wife smiles so much now people think she’s ten years younger – and everyone has noticed a huge change in her attitude.’”
Dr. Cleary and his wife have four children and eight grandchildren between them, the newest baby, a girl, was only a few days old at the time of our chat. He graduated from Ohio State University Dental School in the ‘70s, and as a young dentist, Dr. Cleary enlisted in the military and served as Director of Operative Dentistry at Shawn Air Force Base until his discharge from the service. In 1976, he moved to Surfside Beach where he has lived and practiced dentistry ever since.
“Dentistry is kind of like your cell phone,” Dr. Cleary said when I asked about the many changes he’s seen. “The work is more durable; it lasts, and is done much more easily. I’ve had patients who were very fearful of dental work and now they have no fear at all. We always take our time and make sure they like our work before we finish.” He then told me that some of the caps and crowns done today are guaranteed for life against breakage. “My patients are like family, and I want them to have the very best experience possible.”
Dr. Cleary has always had a strong sense of community and an unwavering desire to serve, which led him to his work with a variety of community organizations, all while maintaining a successful dental practice. His belief that everyone needs a voice in government led him to run for the South Carolina legislature in 2004, where
Dr. Cleary and his partner, Dr. Russell Boatwright, along with their team of dental professionals, are ready to give your smile the care it deserves at Tidelands Dental, located at 1625 Glens Bay Road in Surfside Beach. Visit Tidelands Dental at tidelandsdental.net, find them on Facebook or call 843-650-4500.
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Sharing the Joy and the Pain: Sue Cranford by Leslie Moore
Sue Cranford and her husband Jimmy have lived in Myrtle Beach since 1977, when Jimmy brought his bride to the area after accepting a position with Chicora as a property manager. They were just another happy family until an unthinkable tragedy altered their lives forever. Since that time, both Sue and Jimmy have shared their experience through public speaking and one-on-one conversations with grieving families, hoping to help others navigate the pain that comes with losing a child. “I was raised in Midland, North Carolina, a little town not far from Charlotte,” Sue told me as we began our chat. “I had loving parents and was raised across the road from my grandparents. It was a wonderful childhood.” Sue met Jimmy at Western Carolina University and the two knew this was forever. After Jimmy graduated, the couple married and moved to Georgia. Jimmy went to work, and Sue went back to school, graduating from Auburn University with a degree in Special Education. Four years after their move to Myrtle Beach, Jimmy started his own property management business, which became extremely successful, with clients along the coast from North Carolina to Charleston. The couple had two sons, Chad and Shaun, and were active in church and a wide range of community activities. Life was good for the Cranfords. “Before we moved to Myrtle Beach, I worked in residential centers, and after we moved, I taught in the public schools,” Sue said. “It was very rewarding and fulfilling work.” “After Chad was born, I didn’t work for a year,” Sue remembered. “Then I helped start a preschool in North Myrtle Beach. After Shaun was born, I went to work for
St. Phillip’s Lutheran Church Preschool and taught three and four year olds until I retired.” Sue told me this was a wonderful job for a mother, and she loved every minute of her career. I asked Sue if she would mind talking about Chad, and she replied, “We think it’s an honor, and feel touched when people talk about Chad. When someone sends us a note saying they’re thinking about him it means so much.” Shaun and his wife have two children, William Chadwick, 9, and Hayes Leigh, 7, and both children know all about their Uncle Chad, even though they were never able to meet him. Chad graduated from Myrtle Beach High School in 1996. He was an athlete, playing on the high school soccer team, and was very involved in First Presbyterian Church’s youth group, even though the Cranford’s were Lutheran at the time. “Shaun was in First Methodist Church’s youth group,” Sue added. “We wanted our children to be involved wherever they felt comfortable.” Clemson fans from birth, both Chad and Shaun never considered another college. On December 10, 1996, Chad, a freshman, walked into his dorm room and said, “I don’t feel…,” and dropped to the floor. “His heart skipped a beat and he died,” Sue told me, remembering. “The autopsy found nothing wrong with him, but they think it was ventricular fibrillation.” “I was cooking dinner, and Shaun was at soccer practice,” Sue continued, telling me about the day Chad died. “A doctor from Clemson called and said Chad was in the emergency room.” Naturally, Sue thought her son had been in a car Sasee.com :: September 2020 :: 33
accident, but the doctor gently explained what happened. “I asked Jimmy’s secretary to ask him to come home, and I told him. He fell apart.” The couple then brought Shaun home from soccer practice and told him the awful news. “Seeing Jimmy cry gave Shaun permission to cry,” Sue told me, and paused a moment before continuing.
Chad’s loss rocked the close knit Myrtle Beach community. “We found out that the Grand Strand is the most loving, caring community you can imagine,” Sue said. “We had ministers from so many churches come to be with us. Two friends started a food chain that brought us two meals a week for six months.” The outpouring of love made an unbearable situation a little more bearable for the Cranfords, and the love continued to flow to this grieving family. “One day the doorbell rang and two of my girlfriends came in to help with thank you notes. They didn’t think I needed to do it alone.” Sue and Jimmy started a scholarship at Myrtle Beach High School in Chad’s memory, and asked for donations instead of flowers. Since then, two major fundraisers and continued contributions fund the scholarship that provides $1,000 a year for four years of college to students in need. “We wanted the award to go to average kids who show the true Seahawk spirit. I still present the award every year.” “I do a lot of public speaking about grief,” Sue said. “People really don’t know what to say in these situations, but the only wrong thing to say is nothing.” Sue told me they heard some of the craziest comments after Chad died, and the three Cranfords would compare notes every night about who 34 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
heard the most inappropriate comment. “If someone you love has a tragedy, don’t ask them what you can do – just do something. It will be appreciated.” “I don’t know how people put their feet on the floor in the morning without faith,” Sue shared when I asked how they got through such a horrible tragedy. “Was our faith shaken? Yes, but we realized that’s what faith is all about. The faith community did incredible things for us.” Sue told me that because Chad and Shaun were so close, more than best friends, the 15 year old suffered in the months and years after losing his brother. Again, the community stepped in to help. “A friend from First Methodist Church and a Chrysalis leader would pick him up after school and take him for ice cream. Afterward, they would let us know how he was doing.” Sue said Chad’s friends adopted Shaun, and some are still in touch today. “Even now, Chad’s friends remember his birthday and the anniversary of his death.” Today, Sue and Jimmy are always ready to help anyone who loses a child. “We try to go to them immediately. We want to give them hope that they will survive. Our calling is to help others who have faced the same tragedy.” Continuing, Sue said, “Life will get back to normal, but it is a new normal. Everything about our lives changed, but we came out on the other side of it. Prayer, friends and family keep you going.” And life does go on. Less than two years later, Sue’s mother was killed in a car accident and two years after that, they lost Jimmy’s mother to cancer. But this incredible couple leaned on each other for support through it all and built a life filled with love and friendship. “Shaun is 39 now,” Sue told me, her voice filled with love. “And I have the most fabulous daughter-in-law – her family includes us in everything they do. Shaun met Allison at Clemson, and she has been a gift to us all.” And, yes, Shaun followed in his brother’s footsteps and graduated from Clemson, even though his parents were worried it would be too hard for him. “The people at Clemson were wonderful. The day we took him, Shaun had homemade cookies in his room and every year, someone called to check on him on the anniversary of Chad’s death.” Sue said Clemson staff still gets in touch when they vacation in the area. “I think having a teenager to raise helped us keep going,” Sue added. And the couple’s many friends stayed in close touch. “They made sure we were busy.” The need to help others became a way to heal themselves, and the Cranfords continued serving on boards and working in community fundraisers to help those less fortunate. “There are too many people in need for us to sit and not do anything.”
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“I wake up every morning and think today is going to be the best day. It’s a joy to wake up,” answered Sue when I asked about her life today. “We stay in because of COVID since we’re older, 69 and 70. Even though we’re not totally isolated, we are very careful.” Before the virus, the Cranfords had activities multiple times a week, from supper club to church to Western Carolina alumnus groups. “Jimmy is involved in a group of men who support Myrtle Beach High School.” Sue said. “Every Friday night he and his group of friends would go to the games, both home and away.” Those Friday nights became Sue’s time for herself. “I love to see Myrtle Beach succeed, it means I get my Friday night alone time,” she told me laughing. Sue continued more seriously, “One day, I realized I was taking care of Jimmy, taking care of Shaun, and I was still working. I was taking care everyone but myself. I knew I had to start taking care of Sue.” That’s when she decided to retire from her long teaching career and focus on herself. “We tell families we visit or if I speak to a group, that you can get through it. Let your friends and family do things for you. It’s good for them too.” Sue added, “It’s okay to have a pity party. Jimmy and I still have major pity parties. But don’t forget to get on your knees and thank God for your life.” “I’m not perfect,” Sue stressed. “I was mad at God, but I was told that was okay, and I would get through it. And I did.” Today, Sue tells grieving parents that it’s okay to question, it’s okay to grieve in your own way. “There are no rules to grieving. Everyone does it differently,” Sue said as we finished our conversation. “Do it your way. Grief lasts forever, it just changes form. Let it happen. And don’t forget to laugh and enjoy your life.”
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Bird is the Word by Rose Ann Sinay
“
My husband made it clear early on that he would rather build a bridge to jump off than participate in my quotidian inquisition.
My favorite morning ritual is reading the Word of the Day posts on my computer while enjoying a cup of coffee. Actually, “word” of the day is misleading. I can’t stop at one; like potato chips and chocolate chip cookies, it leads to just one more word, and then, another and another. Before having this information at the tap of a key, I used to open the dictionary at random places, do the silly circular motion with my finger in the air, and dive-bomb the page to randomly select a word. It would be defined, used in a sentence, and then, worked into conversation before the day’s end. Two words squeezed into dinner conversation was a major coup. “Who does this for fun?” my daughter demanded when I asked her if she thought a philtrum would ever require a Botox treatment. She refused to answer on the grounds that I was annoying. I’m convinced she didn’t know that a philtrum is the little indentation between the lip and the nose and she hates that she didn’t know. I must admit, I am annoying. I’ve been doing this to her all her life and she has always refused to engage. She would not become a logophile like her mother; however, her major in college was communications so I think she was listening somewhere along the way. The “game” started when my son (my eldest child) was a toddler. From the beginning, I wedged alphabet cards behind light switch plates and across the length of his crib. We repeated the letters’ sounds when we turned the light on and off. We repeated the process when he went to bed and when he woke up. We graduated to short words, and then, odd or funny words when he was older. I’m sure he never attributed any part of his excellent verbal score on his high school SATs with his mother’s word obsession. Actually, my addiction to words began many years earlier when I took my own college entrance exams. I was sure I would ace the verbal portion of the test. Instead, I found myself looking at words I didn’t know–some I had never heard of. Mortified, I scribbled the words on my arm in ink so I could look up their meanings when I got home. I’ve never forgotten those words although I have never used them in everyday speech. But, I know them. 36 :: Sasee.com :: September 2020
”
Now that my son is all grown up, he has his own game. He has corrected me a time (or two) when I’ve used a word incorrectly or fumbled a pronunciation. I didn’t find it amusing, especially when a visit to Google proved him right. My husband made it clear early on that he would rather build a bridge to jump off than participate in my quotidian inquisition. His resistance was subtle. A combination of selective hearing and feigning sleep was very effective. He’s had years of avoidance experience. Friends are more accommodating of my quirk than my family. In fact an old friend and I have started our own weekly quiz on Facebook. She doesn’t know I’m holding back. I could throw words at her at a rapid fire pace (I’m proud of my restraint), and I check my phone often to see if she has sent me a challenge in return. With the onset of the pandemic, I piled all the game boxes and my stash of “to read” books on the dining room table to keep us busy. I placed Boggle, Balderdash and Scrabble, my favorite word games, on top. But, somehow, Battleship, Jenga or Clue remains our nightly entertainment. I’ve become resigned to finding and re-reading beautifully written sentences in the books that are quickly dwindling to a short stack. Once, I emailed an author to inform her of a mistake in her character’s dialogue. She thanked me for reading her book and told me I was the five hundredth person to inform her of the error. Recently, my husband and I made plans for a socially distanced visit with my son and his family. We were so excited. It seemed like it had been years (instead of months) that we’d seen our granddaughter. We arrived a little early and greeted our son and daughterin-law working in the garden. I went in search of the fiveyear-old red-head that I have missed so much. I found her on the back porch coloring in her coloring book. I watched her for a moment, taking in her legs that have grown long and slim. Her face, partially covered with spiraling copper
curls, was losing the baby fat cheeks. I could see the stunning beauty she will become. She looked up with a start. “Hey,” I said, resisting the urge to hug her and cover her face with kisses.
To care for
“Want some company?”
Those who once cared for us is one of The highesT honors
“What is company?” she asked. “Well,” I began, “it actually has several meanings. Do you want to hear this one?” “Sure,” she said shrugging her shoulders. I picked up a crayon and started to doodle while I thought how to best convey the concept.
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I defined the word as: being with someone for a period of time and it makes you happy. I used it in a sentence: “It’s nice to have company when you’re feeling lonely.” “So you’re my company today?” Addie asked. (Conversation). “I am yours, and you are mine,” I replied as we colored, together, in sweet understanding.
Rose Ann Sinay is a freelance writer newly relocated to Connecticut. She continues to write about moments worth remembering, graciously provided by family and friends.
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–Read It!–
Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood, by Trevor Noah Trevor Noah’s birth was illegal. During times of apartheid, his father and mother should never have been in the same room, much less had a child. This memoir is about Trevor’s childhood growing up as an outsider, in the midst of very tumultuous times. Autobiographies and memoirs have not been a strong genre for me. I have read plenty over the years, and have a few favorites, but the rest tend to come across as dry. I borrowed this eBook from the library at the beginning of the year. I read it slowly because it was so good and savored every chapter. I loved how there were short chapters that showed readers the “current” status of the world, while the longer chapters dove deep into the matriarchal family. I have always believed in finding the humor in life, even in the darkest moments. Trevor Noah apparently agrees with that philosophy, because several scenes had me laughing so hard, I had tears in my eyes. He covers various topics such as religion, racism, sexism, economy, and so much more. Everyone should read this book for the life lessons that Trevor had to learn at a very early age. I will definitely be purchasing a hard copy of this book, so I can read it again in the near future.
Reviews by Nicole McManus Nicole loves to read, to the point that she is sure she was born with a book in her hands. She writes book reviews in the hopes of helping others find the magic found through reading. Contact her at ARIESGRLREVIEW.COM.
Play Ball! by Jeffery Cohen
I was never much of a sportsman. It wasn’t for lack of trying. Being the fastest kid in the neighborhood, I tried out for the track team. The coaches had me pegged as a half-miler. In my first race, I shot out of the starting blocks like a shiny new Ferrari. On the first lap around the track I gained a huge lead which only increased as we rounded the second lap. By the third lap, I was so far ahead of the pack, the coaches were wondering if they had an Olympic candidate on their hands. But as we went into that final lap, that shiny new Ferrari not only ran out of gas, its engine blew up and all four tires fell off as I finished dead last barely crawling across the finish line. I can’t count the number of hours I spent playing touch football in the front yard of my house, catching passes and dodging defenses, scoring touchdowns, so I went out for the football team. After five days of practice, all we did was an endless stream of calisthenics and blocking exercises. On the sixth day, after crashing into a tackling dummy until I could barely stand, a coach ran up to me, grabbed the face mask of my helmet, whipped my head around and got nose to nose with me. In a voice loud enough to puncture my eardrums he screamed, “My little sister could hit harder than that!” I unstrapped my helmet, dropped it on the ground and said, “Then let your little sister play football for you,” and I walked off the field, ending any chance I might have had of one day becoming an All-American. I tried wrestling, learning moves like the half-Nelson, the full-Nelson... the Ricky Nelson; it was all the same to me. Even with all the twists and turns of the sport, it left me flat...on my back.
trying, season after season, to bring home a pennant for us. Then one day, the Dodgers announced that the bums were leaving Ebbets Field in the rough and tumble Brooklyn neighborhood and were heading for some snooty California park called Chavez Ravine. We couldn’t believe it was true. It broke my heart...so bad, in fact, that I lost all interest in the game. Over the years, I’ve watched a couple of innings here and there, a World Series or two, but it was never same. The funny thing is, now with the corona virus, there are questions about whether there will be much of a baseball season at all and just how long it will actually last. Knowing all that, for some reason, I’m beginning to have a need to see a game – to experience America’s pastime once more. I want to see a field of green grass, white bags at the end of the baselines, see the boys of summer playing out on that field again. Like Joni Mitchell said, “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.” Like everyone else, I can’t wait until this pandemic ends. Until it does, we’ll just have to tough it out. But I will tell you this. When it’s over, when we finally come to terms with it, and things are normal again, and stadiums are filled with cheering fans, I’m going to take myself out to the ballgame. I’ll take me out to the crowd. I’ll buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. I don’t care if I ever get back, and I’ll root, root, root for the home team. If they don’t win it’s a shame, for it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball game. There’s a song in there somewhere. I hope it won’t be long before we’re all singing it again.
On the tennis court, I thought I might serve up a good game. I had a great backhand, a powerful forehand. If only I could have kept the ball in the court. In the end, tennis was never a love match. When it came to baseball my luck was no better. Maybe it just wasn’t my game, but my Dad was a baseball fan so I played on a Little League team for three years. My problem was fear...of flubbing a ground ball, dropping a pop fly, or even worse, getting clunked on the head by totally misjudging a catch. I started off on second base. After dropping a bunch of easy catches, I was moved to left field, then eventually to left out, warming the bench and finally striking out completely. Despite my total lack of skills on the field, it didn’t take away from the time my father and I would spend together sitting on the couch watching the Brooklyn Dodgers on TV
Jeffery Cohen
Freelance writer and newspaper columnist, Jeffery Cohen, has written for Sasee, Lifetime and Read, Learn, Write. He’s won awards in Women-On-Writing Contest, Vocabula’s Well Written Contest, National League of American Pen Women’s’ Keats Competition, Southern California Genealogy Competition, and Writer’s Weekly writing contest. Sasee.com :: September 2020 :: 39
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