February 2013 Priceless www.sasee.com
It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. – Dale Carnegie
Women in Philanthropy and Leadership for Coastal Carolina University
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Celebration of Inspiring Women: Friday, Feb. 8, 6:30 p.m.
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The Strand’s Best Waterfront View
Taylor’s
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featured articles
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February 2013 Volume 12, Issue 2
who’s who
Facing My Fears
Publisher Delores Blount Sales & Marketing Director Susan Bryant Editor Leslie Moore Account Executives Amanda Kennedy-Colie Erica Schneider Celia Wester Art Director Taylor Nelson Photography Director Patrick Sullivan Photography Intern Hailee Schlude Graphic Artist Scott Konradt Accounting Ronald Pacetti Administrative Assistant Barbara J. Leonard Executive Publishers Jim Creel Bill Hennecy Tom Rogers
by Ferida Wolff
Southern Snaps by Connie Barnard
True Love
By Sue Mayfield Geiger Sasee’s Guide to
Good Health Are you Tart or Sweet? by Erika Hoffman
Old News by Diane Stark
Mom: Uninterrupted by Beth Wood
A Good Time to Lose by Melissa Face
The Non-Existent Right or Wrong of How to Travel by Margo Millure
Inspiring Obituaries by Janey Womeldorf
One of Us Has Breast Cancer by Claire Fullerton
PO Box 1389 Murrells Inlet, SC 29576 fax 843-626-6452 • phone 843-626-8911 www.sasee.com • info@sasee.com
I n T h is I ssue Read It! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rocking Chair Renegade . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sasee Gets Healthy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Good, Healthy Advice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Scoop on the Strand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Sasee is published monthly and distributed free along the Grand Strand. For subscription info, see page 16. Letters to the editor are welcome, but could be edited for length. Submissions of articles and art are welcome. Visit our website for details on submission. Sasee is a Strand Media Group, Inc. publication.
Copyright © 2013. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any material, in part or in whole, prepared by Strand Media Group, Inc. and appearing within this publication is strictly prohibited. Title “Sasee” is registered with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.
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contributing writers Connie Barnard traveled the world as a military wife and taught high school and college composition for over 30 years. She has been a regular contributor to Sasee since its first issue in 2002.
letter from the editor I’m not a naturally flexible person – and I’ve always loved to run, which tends to make one less flexible anyway. At one time, I belonged to a running club, and as we would warm up for our Saturday morning runs, I would watch my running buddies put their palms flat on the ground and their noses on their knees and, honestly, I was a little jealous. I stretched, but my reach was quite a bit less than most. Then I injured myself and developed Achilles tendonitis. It put an end to my running for a time, even though I would try to limp through the pain. After Island Wave Yoga opened in Pawleys Island, I decided to try a few classes, even though I was not at all sure I would like it. From the very first class I loved it! Yes, it’s hard, but the benefits have given me back the ability to run, calmed my mind and generally made me feel better. Plus, I’ve made some really nice new friends. I still can’t touch my toes – well, once in a while, my fingertips graze the floor during a sun salutation, but I know I’ll get better the more I practice. This month, we’ve put together a “Guide to Good Health” that I believe you are all going to enjoy. There are eight interviews with health professionals who give us some practical advice about staying healthy, two in depth interviews with women who have faced serious illness and survived, plus quite a few lovely new ads. Of course, you’ll still find all our regular Sasee features included in this issue. Please let us know what you think! Happy Valentine’s Day!
cover artist
Melissa Face lives in Virginia with her husband, son and dog. Her stories and essays have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Cup of Comfort. E-mail Melissa at writermsface@yahoo.com. Claire Fullerton is a free lance writer who has been published in Girlfriendz Magazine, Renew Everyday Magazine, Poison Ivy Magazine, Irish Poets Worldwide and The Malibu Times. Claire wrote a weekly column in The Malibu Surfside News from 2009-2010. Sue Mayfield Geiger is a freelance writer and editor residing on the Texas Gulf Coast. Her new book, Gibbons Street is now available at www.gibbonsstreet.com. Erika Hoffman writes non-fiction narratives for many anthologies and magazines. Her story “De-Faced” will appear in Chicken Soup for the Soul – Parenthood in March. Mature Years will be carrying two of her essays in Spring 2013. Not Your Mothers Book – On Being a Woman, recently published, contains one of her humorous stories. Margo Millure believes nothing comes close to getting out of town every now and then, as a means to fully appreciate and engage with the amazing world we live in. She is a writer/editor/ photographer and publisher of the popular online travel magazine for women, www.TravelBelles.com. The Travel Belles will be offering small group trips to Italy and France starting with a trip to Champagne, France, in May 2013. She lives with her husband, two teenage daughters and labradoodle in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Diane Stark is a former teacher turned stay-at-home mom and freelance writer. Her work has been published in dozens of magazines. She loves to write about the important things in life: her family and her faith.
Susan Interrupted, by Catherine Nolin At a very young age Catherine Nolin became fascinated with colors and with the emotional impact of various color combinations. She had the benefit of being the sixth of six daughters; in many respects they were her mentors. In the artist’s family, Italian traditions – family, food, religion – were fundamental. At 10 years old, a family friend, an artist, recognized Catherine’s talent and enrolled her in a class at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. After that seminal experience, she continued to draw and in high school practiced drawing furniture pieces and chairs with fabric patterns. In college, the artist studied pottery, figure drawing and art history. The Italian Renaissance became her favorite art history period – objects and themes from this period are often incorporated into her work. After marrying, Catherine and her husband had three sons, the youngest of whom was diagnosed with autism – painting then became a necessary therapy. What started as a part-time escape became a full-time profession, and Catherine is grateful every day to be able to do what she loves. Her studio is in her home, and she has sold paintings all over the world. Her work has been exhibited in galleries and shows throughout the Northeast. To contact the artist, visit her website, www.CatherineNolin.org.
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Ferida Wolff is author of 17 books for children and three essay books for adults; the latest is Missed Perceptions: Challenge Your Thoughts Change Your Thinking from Pranava Books. Wolff is a frequent contributor to the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Her website is www.feridawolff.com, and she can be reached at feridawolff@msn.com. Beth M. Wood is a mom of three, marketing professional and freelance writer. Her work can be found in Sasee and various Chicken Soup anthologies. A social butterfly, she juggles multiple blogs and can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Foursquare. Follow along at bethmwood.blogspot.com. Janey Womeldorf is a freelance writer who drinks too much coffee. She scribbles away in Orlando, Florida.
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Fears
F a c i n g
M y
by Ferida Wolff
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Not long ago I went up in a hot air balloon. It doesn’t sound like such a remarkable feat. All it does is go up in one place and come down in another. Except that I am afraid of heights so the going up was problematic. I imagined falling out and breaking bones I couldn’t even pronounce – if I lived through the experience. It turned out to be pretty tame and incredibly beautiful, but until the balloon landed safely and my feet were back on the ground I was a wreck. I find myself doing things like that lately – things that I would never have considered when I was younger. I love the beach but am not a great swimmer. This, no doubt, is due to the swimming lessons my mother enrolled me in when I was nine. The instructor decided that I would conquer my fear of the pool by her pushing me in. It knocked the wind out of me and set me up for being nervous in any water, especially in an unfamiliar sea. So in light of this reluctance, what do I do? I go snorkeling in tropical seas where there are sharks and eels and large fish with grimaces that scare the “bejeebies” out of me. This seems to be a pattern I have embraced, as I am growing older. I challenge myself to be as bold as I can be, to look fear in the face and smile. I had spent so many years being afraid of so many things that I figure it’s about time I started working through my fears. My children are grown and safe in their own families. There are fewer years ahead than behind me, and I intend to explore as much of them as I can. This doesn’t mean I plan to go bungee jumping any time soon. I have enough stuff to work around without giving myself a guaranteed heart attack, though I did go zip lining recently. I forced myself to keep my eyes open as I slid down the cables from station to station. I thought I had overcome it all until I was confronted with the Tarzan Swing at the end. The guide hooked me up and gave me an encouraging push off the platform into the open air. I swung back and forth, screaming the whole way. When I finally landed I was hoarse but exhilarated. I was scared but I did it! As I brave the physical challenges I see I am also more able to deal with the subtle ones. I find it’s okay to share my opinions, now. Maybe I’ll be disagreed with but that makes the conversation all the more interesting. I don’t have to worry about being right all the time or the best at everything. It doesn’t matter if I don’t get it perfect the first time when learning a new skill – eventually I will. At this time of my life fear has become an amber caution light rather than a red stop light. The balloon ride showed me that I can be careful and adventurous at the same time. So if mountain trekking and riding the rapids call, I probably will do it. If expressing my feelings seems appropriate, I will do that, too. My stomach may do flip-flops but my heart will soar.
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8317 S. Ocean Highway Pawleys Island, SC 29585 (843) 235-3555 • www.palmettoace.com
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A NATIONAL HISTORIC LANDMARK
From cruises on the creek and overland excursions on the Trekker, to engaging animal programs and a new butterfly house there is always something new and exciting at Brookgreen Gardens.
Saturday, Mar Lunch Buffet 10 ($17/person) am to 4 at pm Saturday, March 2, 2013 Lunch Buffet ($17/person) at Saturday, March 2, 2013 The Dunes Golf and Beach Club The Dunes Golf and Beach Club $40 in advance 10 am to 4 pm 10 am to 4 pm served from 11:30 am until 3 pm
served from 11:30 am until 3 pm For ticket and tou $40 in advance I $45 day of tour $40 in advance I $45 day of tour Reservations are please suggested call and the A Reservations are suggested and For ticket and tour info, can be made through the For ticket and tour info, can be made through the please call the Art Museum Art Museum please call the Art Museum Art Museum
www.MyrtleBeachArtMuseum.org
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$40 in advance I $45 day of tour For ticket and tour info, please call the Art Museum
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Lunch Buffet ($17/person) at The Dunes Golf and Beach Club served from 11:30 am until 3 pm Reservations are suggested and can be made through the Art Museum
Saturday, March 2013 I 843.238.2510 I www.MyrtleBeachArtMuseum.org 3100 South Ocean Boulevard, Myrtle2, Beach $40Golf in advance I Club $45 day of tour The Dunes and Beach 3100 South Ocean Boulevard, Myrtle Beach I 843.238.2510 I www.MyrtleBeachArtMuseum.org 10 am to 4 pm
$40 in advance I $45 day of tour For ticket and tour info, please call the Art Museum
Read It!
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Dr. Eben Alexander is a man of science – a Harvard educated, well-respected neurosurgeon; this man is first and foremost a believer in facts, scientific research and what can be seen and proven empirically. Dr. Alexander’s life was turned upside down in 2008, when he contracted a rare form of meningitis that left him in a coma for a week. During this time, his brain was effectively “shut down” by the disease, with no activity in his neocortex. While his family stood watch by his hospital bed, his life hanging by a thread, Dr. Alexander was on a journey that changed his life forever.
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Lunch Bu
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Located on Highway 17 between Murrells Inlet and Pawleys Island.
Leslie Says… Read Proof of Heaven, by Dr. Eben Alexander
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No matter your beliefs about what happens to us after we die, this book will fascinate you. I was riveted by Dr. Alexander’s descriptions of his travels through the afterlife. The perspective of a physician is quite different than other books written about near death experiences, mainly because he openly admits his former, mostly agnostic, beliefs, and describes his condescending responses to former patients who shared their own near death experiences. The more I read, the more I found myself liking this man; he shares a lot about his personal life and deep love for his family. Dr. Alexander is obviously not a professional writer, but, all in all, he did a wonderful job relating his amazing experience.
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Southern Snaps Phyllis and Bob Poston: From Snowbirds to Seagulls by Connie Barnard
We call them Snowbirds; these visitors who arrive each winter from a variety of states, all of them cold this time of year. They come to enjoy the sunshine, mild climate, and affordable lodging rates – often less costly than their monthly fuel bills back home. They enjoy being able to golf or fish almost any day. Perhaps most of all, they enjoy reconnecting with old friends who gather at the same locations year after year, strong ties of friendship forged over time. A number of Snowbirds become active in local churches and volunteer organizations, bringing a greater dimension to both their lives and ours. Over time, some winter Snowbirds even become vibrant full-time residents. Among these is a couple you’d love to meet, Phyllis and Bob Poston. Like many of us, the Postons’ journey to the Beach began with youthful road trips in the 1960s. “I remember visiting here in the ’70s when ‘Alabama’ was a little local band playing at the Bowery,” Bob recalls. Their story follows a pattern familiar to many. Myrtle Beach sand gets between their toes, drawing them back again and again, extending their visits with each year until they ultimately become permanent residents. Though their path is a familiar one, Phyllis and Bob’s story is a unique and fascinating one of two talented people who’ve enjoyed a rich, full life, now sharing their experience and talents with our community. A handsome, vivacious couple, Phyllis and Bob look like a walking advertisement for The Good Life. The Virginia natives grew up in Lynchburg where they met at their local Methodist church’s youth group. The couple married when she was 19 and he
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was 21. Last December 6, they celebrated their 54th wedding anniversary, still clearly in love and deeply dedicated to one another. Both Bob and Phyllis had busy careers with General Electric in Lynchburg. However, it was through a unique combination of avocations that the Postons enjoyed amazing opportunities and international acclaim. A golfer since his youth, Bob also developed an early talent for photography. He shared these interests with his young wife, and over time the two became both avid golfers and highly skilled photographers. While attending regional golf tournaments, the Postons began taking photographs and soon gained national and international recognition for their distinctive ability to capture memorable moments on the green. For the next 29 years they worked as freelance photographers for the Associated Press, United Press International and the Virginia State Golf Association. Phyllis and Bob covered two Masters and two PGA championships; however, it was a shot at the 1980 Kemper Open in Bethesda, Maryland, that gave Bob international recognition. The heartrending photo captures the anguish of a young Lee Trevino just after he missed a birdie putt to tie the match. UPI bought the picture which was later placed in its worldwide special 75th Anniversary News Photography Exhibition, capturing 75 significant moments in history. Along with the Poston photo were shots of the Germans signing surrender documents in 1945, the Duke and Duchess of Windsor after their wedding in France in 1937, and the Pulitzer Prizewinning photo of a dying Lou Gehrig saying good-bye to his
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fans in 1949. Later Phyllis and Bob also spent 14 years covering NASCAR events in Virginia, and North Carolina, as the sport was emerging into the national spotlight. In 1990 they were part of a group of 40 who formed the National Golf Reporters Association, now the International Network of Golf, with 1400 members from all over the world. During these busy, exciting years, the Postons often vacationed on the Grand Strand and grew to love all it has to offer. In the spring of 1970 they came down on their first golf holiday and enjoyed it so much that they returned each Thanksgiving for the next 12 years. The couple also came for short trips whenever their work schedules allowed, prior to Bob’s retirement from GE in 1997. The next winter they officially became Snowbirds, checking into the Cadillac Court for an intended six week stay which grew into two months. “We loved it so much – we really just did not want to leave,” Phyllis says. Like many other local hoteliers, the motel’s owners, Rhonda and Mack Pendleton, provided a large party room overlooking the ocean where their winter guests could gather in the late afternoon. Fun and fellowship developed into deep friendships among the guests and with the Pendletons. Bob smiles as he explains that their only complaint was the need for one of the larger, more spacious units: “The place was so popular that we literally had to wait for someone to die first.” Over the next five years, Phyllis and Bob returned to Myrtle Beach and the Cadillac Court, staying a bit longer with each visit until eventually, they were here for six months each winter. Though the motel no longer exists, the friendships from the Cadillac Court still do. Phyllis and Bob continue to enjoy dinner and other outings with former lodgers and have stayed in close touch with the Pendletons as well. In 2002 they purchased a condo in Cobblestone, extending their stays here for up to eight months each year. Finally, they made the decision to give up their deep Virginia roots and become full-time residents of Myrtle Beach. After sifting through the contents of 42 years in their Lynchburg family home, the Postons moved into their spacious new nest overlooking the Myrtlewood Golf Course in 2005. “We still go back to Virginia to see family members and to check on property we own there” Phyllis says, adding with a chuckle: “It’s a large storage unit packed with all the things we couldn’t give up but don’t have room for here!” Clearly, the couple savors the freedom of their rich, full life here. They play golf several days a week and enjoy getting together with the many friends they’ve made, including a local group of GE retirees. Yet these are just two dimensions of their multi-faceted lives. Since their first winter at the Cadillac Court, the Postons have also been involved as volunteers in the Myrtle Beach community. For six winters, they spent hours each week assisting with the Grand Strand Senior Center’s golf group. Tony Perry, who continues to run the program with his wife Ann, said of them: “Phyllis and Bob’s
work here was priceless to both the center and to the Snowbird community.” During this time they also began participating in the Grand Strand Medical Center’s H2U health program for senior adults and worked for The Golf Channel during the four weeks in which the Canadian PGA played at Barefoot Resort. They’ve also volunteered each year for the World Am Handicap Championship and for Hootie and the Blowfish’s “Monday after the Masters.” The Postons’ most significant volunteer commitment, however, has been through the First United Methodist Church of Myrtle Beach. Dabney Joyner, the church’s director of volunteers, says, “Phyllis and Bob joined our church in 2005 and are the most active folks I know. They always have a smile and a willing heart. Bob has become the official photographer for every event at the church, a fulltime job in itself, but they do so much more as well.” Phyllis and Bob’s greatest efforts involve chairmanship of the golf program associated with its “Snowbirds and Seagulls” Adult Senior Ministry which also sponsors weekly luncheons, special outings, and small group programs for winter guests. The church’s revered former senior minister, Rev. “Big Tom” Brittain, initiated the “Seagulls and Snowbirds” golf program in 1983 to help winter guests get to know one another and share their mutual love of the game. Open to any seasonal visitors regardless of religious affiliation, the program provides over 100 weekly participants the opportunity to play in captain’s choice tournaments at premiere area courses each Tuesday morning in January and February. In 2007, Rev. Brittain found it necessary to give up his work with the highly successful program. He knew that without strong, energetic leadership, the program might flounder and called upon the Postons to take over in his place. Bob jokes, “We are now starting the fifth year of our one year commitment.” Phyllis and Bob schedule matches, register participants and pair up each foursome. They also must contend with complicating factors that crop up, such as no-shows, cancellations and weather calls. For two months each year, it is tantamount to a full-time job that draws on all the Postons’ experience and energy, but they truly love it and do it well. Friend and fellow-golfer, Myrtle Beach resident Harry Gardner says, “Phyllis and Bob are a very caring couple who are dedicated to making sure every participant has a great time. It is amazing how they pull the whole thing off each week. To know them is to love them.” Phyllis and Bob Poston’s story is just one of many among the winter visitors who each year make a significant imprint on both the economy and the fabric of life along the Grand Strand. They are ideal guests who help to make our area a year round destination, and fortunately, a growing number of Snowbirds ultimately become Seagulls, contributing their time and talents fulltime and year round.
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o
L True ve By Sue Mayfield Geiger
The day of Clark Gable’s funeral, my mother wore black. We lived a thousand miles from Hollywood, but she mourned as if she were part of the crowd paying tribute to her idol. She saw practically every movie he made and watched Gone with the Wind at least 20 times. She often recited famous lines from that epic film; her favorite one being, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” She especially used that a lot when responding to someone’s frivolous conversation. During the 1930s, all teenage girls went to the picture show, like today’s teenagers who frequent the mall. From the first time Mom saw Clark Gable on the screen, she was in love. He was her dreamboat, her knight in shining armor, her boyfriend, her future husband. We all have fantasies and Mr. Gable was hers. Even after my mom married my dad, she did not hide the fact that her heart belonged to Clark. Dad didn’t mind – he often humored her about his own fascination with Jane Russell, and they’d laugh about what they’d do if they ever met their make-believe lovers. Dad came home one day with a fake mustache on and grabbed Mom from behind while she was washing dishes. She turned around and saw that hairy lip and just shook her head. When my parents saw the movie Mogambo with Clark Gable, Ava Gardner and Grace Kelly, the whole dynamic changed. “Wow, that Ava Gardner is something else,” Dad said, going on about her sex appeal and what a vamp she was. Mom said Gardner was nothing compared to Grace Kelly who had style and sophistication. “There’s no comparison,” Dad said, telling Mom how Gardner was a hot siren compared to Kelly’s prim and proper persona. But what did it matter? Mom was there to see her lover boy and not the female co-stars. Yet as the weeks went on, Dad talked more and more about Ava Gardner and that he no longer cared for Jane Russell. Ava was his new gal. “You’re not her type,” Mom would say, reminding Dad that Ava had even been married to Frank Sinatra. “Well,” Dad said, “Clark was married to Carol Lombard, so what makes you think you’re his type?” And so the banter would continue, but with loving jest. My parents were wild about each other, and their movie star chatter was just that – all talk. But as I grew older I saw how important it was to kid around in relationships,
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how comedic conversation was important to any couple’s day-to-day routine. Dad was a welder and Mom worked at the school cafeteria, so they came home tired every day with sore feet and weary bones. Yet instead of complaining about the poor existence of their lives, they made it a point to joke, clown around, laugh and tease. You might call it an alternative to Prozac back in the day when there was not a pill for everything. So, the mourning of Gable’s death was a given. And when Dad came home and saw Mom in her black dress, he was a bit surprised. “Clark died today,” Mom told him. Of course, the news of Gable’s heart attack had been on television the days preceding his death, but everyone thought he had recovered. “I’m sorry to hear that,” Dad said, and walked over to Mom and embraced her. She put a handkerchief up to her cheek as she sniffed and talked about what a great actor he was and how she would miss him. “So, now I don’t have to worry about you running off with him any longer,” said Dad. “No,” Mom said, “’cause I made up my mind a long time ago that if I had to choose between you and Clark, I knew who it would be.” Dad knew too. He didn’t have to ask – he knew.
february
’s
Guide to
Good Health
The greatest wealth is health!
february
www.sasee.com 15
Love the Skin You’re In
WILLIAM F. RINEHART, DMD COSMETIC FACIAL SURGEON BOARD CERTIFIED ORAL AND MAXILLOFACIAL SURGEON
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Regina Young, Marilynn Clark, Dr. Mike Kelley, Julie Oakes, Marty Vallar
4691 Dick Pond Rd. | Unit C | Myrtle Beach, SC 29577
Tuesdays & Thursdays 4 pm-7:15 pm • Wednesdays 10 am-1 pm • One Saturday a month 10 am-1 pm (Call for Saturdays)
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PURCHASE ANY COMBINED FILLER/LASER THERAPY AND RECEIVE 6 MONTHS OF BOTOX TREATMENTS FREE Call to speak with a consultant to discuss your specific needs. 843.215.2525 843.527.2081 843.215.2525 843.527.2081
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Give Your Mom, Sister, Best Friend or Yourself the Gift that Lasts a Year! Name Address City State Zip
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february
Rocking Chair Renegades A Rocking Chair Renegade is a woman over 50 who: refuses to let age define her and is not afraid of showing the lines of life on her face… believes that the fountain of youth springs from her mind… is wise, funny, active, engaging, valuable, beautiful and definitely not finished! Lives: Murrells Inlet Family: I live with my husband, Phillip, of 34 years and have four adult children and five grandchildren ranging from 2-19.
Ruth Keilen
Occupation: I am the Business Development Specialist with MercyCare, the
only non-profit hospice in Horry County. I’ve worked in the senior health field for over ten years.
Volunteers: I volunteer as an Accredited Visitor with Mended Hearts for Grand Strand Regional Medical Center, Waccamaw Community Hospital and Georgetown Memorial Hospital. I am the founder of the Mended Hearts support group (peer to peer support for people who have had heart events) at HealthPoint in Litchfield and am the VP of a group at Grand Strand. I also volunteer for the Georgetown County United Way, have been a co-facilitator for the Bureau on Aging program Better Choices, Better Health and participated in committees with SAGES (Senior Advocates Growing Elder Services). Hometown: I grew up in South Orange, and Avon by the Sea, New Jersey, then moved south to Beachwood for 25 years. Seven years ago, I REALLY moved south to Murrells Inlet.
Age: 36 (what I feel like), but in reverse! Activities: volunteering, walking, travel, beach time, reading baking and genealogy
Loves: Spending time with family and friends—I love it when I’ve recaptured my favorite childhood memories and made them stronger and brighter by sharing them with my grandchildren.
Laughs: I get a big kick out of the antics of my grandkids. They are incredibly resourceful, and you never know what insightful and blatantly honest comments will come rolling out!
Favorite Meal: Any meal where the family is gathered around is good—particularly if it involves prime rib or sharing Frogmore Stew. Perfect Day: Starting out with an early morning beach walk to watch the sunrise, exploring new (to us) areas of South Carolina with my husband and finishing with an easy dinner at home with family Reads: I usually read suspense—John Grisham and Peter Baldacci are two of my favorites. I recently read Room and thought it was terrific. It’s great being able to download books—I always have a great read available. Spirit: I keep a positive state of mind and rely on my faith. It’s amazing how goals can be actualized when you believe they can be achieved. I had an Aortic valve replacement in March, 2009. I felt great, but as a child I had rheumatic fever, so I went to a cardiologist for regular checkups. That’s how my doctor found that I needed the surgery. Otherwise, I would have probably been one of those people that just drop dead!
Gets Excited: I’m excited about living life! The Mended Hearts motto really fits—“It’s great to be alive and help others.” Aging: Our bodies won’t stop aging, but staying involved in volunteering and being active keep the mind and spirit young. I’ve learned great
lessons on the power of positive thinking from working with seniors. One 90-something woman told me she had plenty of aches and pains— and her choice was to either dwell on her discomfort at home or get out, be distracted and have a great time. She chose the great times and had a schedule packed with the activities she loved.
With Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy, Feel Like You’re Young Again! Q. When should I consider Bio-Identical Hormones? A. The average age of menopause is 51. However, your bodies
natural hormones begin to decline in your late 20s. If you are experiencing hormone imbalance symptoms you should be tested and can begin hormone replacement in your late thirties. It is best not to wait.
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how long will it take me to feel a difference?
A. In a matter of weeks you may feel a difference especially for
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Call 843-651-0215
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Kohl’s Car Seat Safety
February 26 from 3 - 6 pm at the Myrtle Beach Kohl’s
• Safe Kids certified child safety seat technicians will check proper installation of child safety seats, correct those in need and educate on proper installation and use. • Participants must have their child safety seat, car and child present, and will be served on a first come, first serve basis. • The technician will determine if a new child safety seat is needed. • Rain cancels event.
For more information, please call Safe Kids Pee Dee/ Coastal led by McLeod Health at 843-777-2592. Kids Safe-Sasee.indd 1 1850195-McL www.sasee.com
Scan to visit our website.
february
1/16/13 9:16 AM
Let us help you get through the“change�in your life. Visit our Free Hormone Replacement Therapy Seminars the First Thursday of each month. For more information on bio-identical hormone replacement, call Pure Compunding.
843-293-RxRx
www.Pure-Compounding.com
3072 Dick Pond Road, Highway 544, Suite 2, Myrtle Beach, SC 29588
february
www.sasee.com 19
Celia, please tell us what happened. In 2009, I was told I needed mitral valve replacement and was also diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a thickening in the middle of the heart. I saw a cardiologist in Murrells Inlet, Dr. Craig Lieberman, who sent me to a heart surgeon in Charleston. After the initial consultations, I was put on a medication to slow my heart a little. Neither doctor thought my condition was life threatening, and they told me to wait until I felt my health was compromised. Dr. Lieberman assured me that I would know when I was ready. Early last year, I finally had to admit that it was time. I was getting more and more breathless and had less and less energy, but I tried to hide my discomfort from everyone. I planned to take off and have the surgery in July, thinking I would be back to work in a few weeks. I had put the surgery off because I was frightened, but once I made the decision, I knew I couldn’t let fear ruin my health. I didn’t tell a lot of people, I’m very private about my personal life, but my family and co-workers knew. My family was very worried and tried to talk me into putting it off a little longer, but I had so much confidence in my surgeon, Dr. John Spratt. Dr. Lieberman also advised me to go ahead and get it over with, so I could live my life feeling good. My strong faith in God got me there. I don’t remember much about the surgery or immediately after, but I know I was relieved it was over. There was not as much pain as I had anticipated
gets healthy
Meet Celia Wester
It takes a little darkness to see the stars. – Anonymous A professional artist for more than 30 years, Celia Wester is one of those people whose picture should be in the dictionary beside the word “creative.” Born in Charlotte, North Carolina, Celia worked doing murals and faux finishes for celebrity and corporate clients while she raised her two children, Laura and Brian, as a single mother. She continued to work as an artist after her move to the Grand Strand in 2001. In May of 2003, Celia went to work for Strand Media Group, parent company of Sasee, as an account executive, the perfect job to showcase her creativity. Along with her full-time job, Celia paints and exhibits at Prince George Gallery and Framing in Georgetown, and most recently, her work was featured by designer Kevin Jayroe in the Stewart Parker Designer Showhouse. Last summer, Celia took time off from her busy life to have heart surgery. This had been planned for some time, and while serious, Celia felt prepared. What she didn’t expect, however, was for something to go terribly wrong.
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february
and everything seemed to be fine. I left Roper Hospital and went straight to Waccamaw Rehabilitation Center. That’s when I started feeling depressed. I cried and cried because I simply could not do anything. The nurses and staff were so wonderful to me, both at Roper and Waccamaw, but I just couldn’t do what they asked – I felt awful. After about a week, I was sent home with home health care. If it wasn’t for my precious daughter, Laura, my wonderful sister, Julie, and my supportive co-workers and friends, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I couldn’t drive or do much of anything for myself. My brother, David, lives below me and was very loving and concerned, but he has his own health problems and couldn’t do everything. When I kept getting worse, I went back to the cardiologist, who immediately put me in Waccamaw Hospital. From there, I was rushed back to Roper for yet another surgery. The heart valve was leaking, and my lungs filled with fluid. After the second surgery, where they installed a mechanical valve, I was put on a ventilator for a week, with no expectation that I would live. It was without a doubt the most horrible experience of my life. They tell me my heart stopped a couple of times, but I don’t remember any of it. Mostly I remember waking up and not being able to talk because of the ventilator, plus some really vivid lucid dreams caused by the medications. I just asked God to stay with me. No one could visit, so I was alone and very upset. I did survive, obviously, and after another short stay at Waccamaw Rehabilitation, I was finally home, this time for good. With the help of my devoted son, Brian, who came and stayed with me, I was soon feeling well enough to return to work.
How has this experience changed you? It’s been a difficult road. I wish people could understand that having two major surgeries in a few short weeks leaves you very emotional. I do know that I’m blessed to be here. As an artist, I look at the color of the sky, the stars, the reflections on the water, and I want to paint it all. How wonderful that I’m still here to do it! I’m so glad to be on this beautiful planet. I didn’t want to leave my children, either. Even though they are grown, I wanted to see their faces and hear them talk. I told God that I just wasn’t ready. I had to learn to reach out to others as well. Independent for years and years, I have never asked anyone to help me. Through this experience, I learned to let people love me and get me through day to day activities. It was very humbling. My children had never seen me so vulnerable. Since then, I’ve gained my strength back and am taking better care of myself than ever. A lot of my hair fell out after surgery, but it is gradually coming back in – that was one of the hardest things I’ve dealt with! Now I’m just so happy to be back at work. I love my job and meeting so many interesting people. I have so many paintings in my head. Enjoy life everyone – I always thought there would be more time, and there almost wasn’t. Don’t take life for granted! To see more of Celia’s work, visit her website at www.cwesterstudio.com.
february
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Now Open in Pawleys Island
Surgical Body Contouring or the CoolSculpting Alternative No needles. No scars. No downtime. No kidding!
MANAGING PHYSICIAN Thomas N. Howard, M.D.
Join us on Thursday, February 7, 5:30 - 6:30pm
Walk-ins always welcome. If it’s busy and you can’t wait, we’ll take your number and call you back when wait times are shorter. At South Strand Internists & Urgent Care, we treat our patients like customers.
at the YMCA on 62nd sponsored by Grand Strand Regional HealthFinders Topic will be Body Contouring & CoolSculpting Light Refreshments offered Admission is free but space is limited. RSVP required by phone or email, no later than 3 days before the event. 843-497-2227 or gsprs@sc.rr.com
Grand Strand Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery Center, P.A.
On-Site X-Ray and Full Lab Services
4610 Oleander Drive, Suite 101 Myrtle Beach, SC 29577 843-497-2227 • gsprs@sc.rr.com www.kimberleygohmd.com
11405 Ocean Highway, Pawleys Island 29585 (Coastal Federal Town Center, next to The Fresh Market, behind BB&T) Monday–Friday: 8 am – 6 pm • Saturday: 8 am – 1 pm
843-979-4006 | www.SouthStrandInternists.com
♥
You’ll love our facility and you’ll love your body all over again!
24 hour peace of mind
♥
We specialize in providing as much or as little care needed by our clients to live independently in the comfort of their homes.
Ditch the workout, join the party!™ is a low impact workout that gives you the lean muscle definition you have been waiting for! With the combination of yoga, pilates and core fundamentals of ballet. This is great for all levels, the low impact is great for rehabilitation.
Barre Boot Camp
Clothing available
• Full-time RN on staff • Personalized care plans for your loved one
Over 85 classes a month
843-796-0336
• Care for people of all ages
for our entire schedule.
• No up-front fees
Zumba® and the Zumba Fitness logos are trademarks of Zumba Fitness, LLC, used under license. Mo Russo, Licensed ZUMBA Instructor http://morusso.zumba.com/
22 www.sasee.com
843-299-0291
• Scheduling available 24/7
Located at Hwy. 17 N., Surfside Plaza Northbound across the street from the Surfside Post Office
Visit our website FitnessNFriendZ.com or Facebook
Call our team today for your customized care solution
• Personal Care and Companionship
february
www.HomewatchCareGivers.com/Myrtle-Beach
“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Good, Healthy Advice
This month, Sasee asked six doctors, a pharmacist and a home care service professional, what it takes to be healthy. While there are no shortcuts to feeling your best, their advice is a great place to start your journey to good health! Dr. Angela Mislowsky, of Coastal Carolina Breast Center, does not eat a special diet but tries to stick to a low fat and low carb diet whenever possible. “I love to play tennis and play a couple of times a week. I also try to walk or jog outside when the weather is permitting.” When asked about the importance of sleep, Dr. Mislowsky says, “Enough sleep is extremely important to staying healthy, active and alert. We all need to listen to our bodies as to how much sleep we actually need, as everyone is different. A good full night of sleep can start a day out on the right foot and keep you motivated.” For good health, Dr. Mislowsky says, “It is important to get out and be active. Walking or exercising can be of great benefit and easy to do outside. If you are thinking about dieting, the best way to lose weight is the tried and true method of a sensible diet and exercise. Medically, one of the important things a woman can do for herself is to have a primary care doctor who can help orchestrate her healthcare based on her age and other factors. Of course annual mammograms are very important as well and should not be overlooked, as cancers that are caught early are highly curable.” Coastal Carolina Breast Center, one of only ten facilities in South Carolina accredited by the National Accreditation Program for Breast Centers (NAPBC), is the area’s only medical or surgical practice dedicated solely to breast health. Breast specialist, N. Craig Brackett, III, MD, FACS, joined in practice by Angela M. Mislowsky, MD, has treated an estimated 25,000 patients during the last fifteen years. Physician referrals are not required. For more information or to make an appointment, call 843-651-3308 or visit them on the web at www.coastalbreastcenter.com.
Claudia Berner, owner of Grand Strand Homewatch CareGivers, is careful with her diet. “I do not eat red meat. I have found that a healthy balance of vegetables and fish or chicken helps my energy level. While caring for my Dad as he battled Alzheimer’s, I noticed that he did really well on several small meals throughout the day. I also follow this when possible. The trick is to have food prepared so you don’t spend all day fixing meals.” “Exercise, no matter how much, is central to weight management,” said Claudia. “As with all of us, there never seems to be enough time to get to the gym, so I try to do what I can. I generally park my car in the back of the lot, so I can get a nice brisk walk when I am out running errands. (By the way, this also helps minimize the dents and dings!) Almost anything that requires you to stand and move is good for you! As for importance of sleep, my business partner, Barry literally works until he drops. He then can sleep for 12 hours! This is really not good for his health, and I am on him about this. Again, we all need a good balance of sleep and waking hours. Once your scale is tipped, your mental and physical health is impacted.” “Grand Strand Homewatch CareGivers helps people stay in their homes by bringing the services they need to them. Our motto is ‘Let our family care for yours.’ Caregiver fatigue can happen when adult children try to care for their parents, their own children, work full time and continue to handle the multitude of other responsibilities they have. We are there to let them take time out to take a walk, go visit a friend and even take a vacation.” Grand Strand Homewatch Caregivers is located in Murrells Inlet. Call 843-299-0291 for more information or visit www.homewatchcaregivers.com/myrtle-beach.
When asked about healthy eating, Dr. Kimberley Goh, of Grand Strand Plastic Surgery, said “I try to eat a low fat diet with fresh, raw, or lightly cooked vegetables. I aim for fewer carbs and more whole grains.” A believer in plenty of exercise, Dr. Goh walks daily, on the treadmill or outside, depending on the weather, to stay healthy. “I also get a fair amount of upper body exercise through resistance training and various other activities.” Most of us know how important a good night’s sleep is to our health. Dr. Goh says that sleep “is very important, both in terms of weight control, blood pressure control, energy levels and memory. Lack of sleep and stress also will accelerate the aging process tremendously.” She went on to recommend that we all should do the following: “Try for plenty of sleep, drink a lot of fluids, not much alcohol, no smoking and have an exercise routine that is not too extreme. An exercise routine that involves weights (this increases bone strength and helps with weight control, especially as we age) and reasonable cardio that you will do consistently will do more for you than extreme workouts that you do for a while and then give up on.” Dr. Goh came to the Grand Strand in 1991, is Board Certified in both Plastic Surgery and General Surgery and is on staff at Grand Strand Regional Medical Center and Conway Medical Center. She has an AAAASF certified operating suite in her office for major cosmetic surgery for privacy and convenience. “My main practice is cosmetic/aesthetic surgery, though I still do some reconstructive surgery. Spending time with my patients is important so I can really understand what they are looking for—I want them to understand the risks as well as the benefits.” “I can be reached at my office 843-497-2227, my office email gsprs@sc.rr.com, and my web site, KimberleyGohMD.com.”
Dode Washington, M.D., F.A.C.O.G, of Coastal Carolina OBGYN, tries to eat healthy and stay away from fast food. “I eat home-cooked meals most of the time and exercise whenever possible. I don’t have a regular routine because of my schedule, but I exercise whenever time allows. I lift weights—ten pounds each—and do some Pilates. I also exercise on the NordicTrack and go for walks with my husband.” Dr. Washington’s advice to our readers is direct and to the point: “Sleep is extremely important. For better health, eat less and move more!” Coastal Carolina OBGYN specializes in obstetrics, adult and adolescent gynecology, family planning, gynecological surgery, menopause management and laparoscopic surgery as well as in-office hysteroscopy, including Novasure endometrial ablation and Essure procedure for permanent sterilization. Coastal Carolina OBGYN is located at 620 Singleton Ridge Road in Conway. For more information or to make an appointment, call 843-349-0100 or visit www.coastalcarolinaobgyn.com.
Kim Kelaher, Pharmacist at PURE Compounding Pharmacy, tries to eat healthy food and not consume an excessive amount of calories. “I shop the perimeter of the grocery store and eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, avoiding products with high fructose corn syrup and sugar. I eat whole grains and protein, whether it’s peanut butter, chicken or fish. I do like dairy, but only in moderation. I avoid artificial sweeteners and processed foods, and take a variety of nutritional supplements. I stay active, whether it’s keeping up with my five year old daughter or working around the house. Walking, jogging and biking are my favorite ways to exercise.” “Adults should get 7-9 hours of sleep each night and keep regular sleep patterns,” said Kim. Not only is sleep important to give our bodies a chance to repair themselves, but it is important to our emotional well being.” Kim went on to say that we should establish a relationship with a physician we trust for regular checkups and blood work. “Learn how to shop for food and eat healthier. Weight bearing exercise will help prevent osteoporosis and strengthen bones. Prevention is key!” PURE Compounding is the only compounding-only pharmacy in the Grand Strand area. Compounding pharmacies are able to create customized medications to help meet unique physician and patient needs in order to improve therapeutic outcomes. They often handle problems dealing with avoiding dyes, preservatives or fillers in manufactured medications and make liquid medications from tablets and capsules. “A majority of our business is treating men and women with bio-identical hormone prescriptions written by their doctor. Pet medications, whether it is a capsule, a flavored liquid, or a chewable treat are easily handled at our pharmacy. If it’s a medication problem, many times we can solve it!” PURE Compounding is located at 3072 Dick Pond Road (Highway 544), Suite 2, Myrtle Beach. For more information please call 843- 293-7979 or www.pure-compounding.com.
Dr. Tom Howard, managing physician at the new Pawleys Island office of South Strand Internists and Urgent Care, believes physical activity is one of the keys to good health. “I paddleboard from the South End of Pawleys Island to DeBordieu almost every day, but if I can’t get on the water, I use my elliptical glide. Being on the water is my favorite way to workout. You are working every muscle and burning tons of calories.” Dr. Howard also advises his patients to use care with their diet. “I eat the Mediterranean diet, which is recommended by the American Heart Association—low fat, no white foods, lots of whole grains and vegetables. I do a stint of vegetarianism for one to three months occasionally to clean out the toxins. Protein is essential for our daily activities, but there are more than enough ways to eat protein without meat.” “You must have a good night’s rest to make it through the day,” continued Dr. Howard. “Sleep is the foundation of your health.” He went on to say that good health involves a daily exercise regime, plenty of water (40-60 ounces a day) and a healthy diet. “Your body is a temple, and you only get one—take care of that temple, keep it going and build it up. We all need to care for ourselves and find out what works for us.” South Strand Internists and Urgent Care is a Primary Care practice for adults and pediatric patients. “We can also handle your urgent care needs,” said Dr. Howard. “We have on site X-ray and full lab services. Currently, we’re open Monday through Friday, 8 am-6 pm and 8 am-1 pm on Saturday. If you are running late, call us and we’ll stay open later. As our practice grows, we plan to extend our hours to a full day Saturday and Sunday.” For more information call 843-979-4006 or www.SouthStrandInternists.com.
When asked about the importance of a healthy diet, Dr. William Reinhart, oral and maxillofacial surgeon, of En Face Cosmetic Rejuvenation Center, said, “We must all be aware of not only what we eat, but the quality. Considering an organic diet, both meat and vegetables, is important.” Dr. Reinhart also believes in the importance of regular exercise. “Our exercise must be daily and include aerobic and weight training routines. Walking is great exercise!” All of us need enough sleep for several reasons, and Dr. Reinhart feels that it is also important to ensure that our sleep space is quiet and restful. “Maintaining skin health is simple and important for us all,” says Dr. Reinhart. “First, always use sunscreen and skin hydration. As women age, an exfoliant, such as Microderm or Retinol, will improve the skin. We can help with pigment changes in your 40s and more aggressive treatment for wrinkles in your 50s and 60s. Fractional Lasers can give youthful, beautiful changes to an aging face. And, Artefil is the only permanent filler and is the basis for volume replacement and collagen reproduction in the mid-face. Please call one of our offices, and we will share more exciting news!” For more information call the Surfside Beach office at 843-215-2525 or the Georgetown office at 843-527-2081.
Dr. Marie LaVigni, of McLeod Internal Medicine Seacoast, eats a diverse diet with lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean meat and fish. She also drinks plenty of water. Exercise is also an important part of Dr. LaVigni’s routine. When asked what type of exercise she prefers, Dr. LaVigni said, “I walk regularly, usually up to six times per week, for at least 45 minutes.” “Sleeping at least six uninterrupted hours per night is ideal,” Dr. LaVigni said when asked about the importance of sleep to a healthy lifestyle. She then shared her recommendations to our readers who wish to maintain or improve their health. “Women tend to worry about and care for others, often losing track of their own health. It’s important to drink plenty of water, avoid concentrated sweets, watch your portion size at meals, stop skipping meals, never eat after 8 pm, and if it is okay with your doctor, get moving! Walk for 30 minutes five days a week, at the very least.” Dr. LaVigni’s practice, McLeod Internal Medicine Seacoast, is located at 3980 Highway 9 East, Suite 100-B, in Little River, in the medical office building next to McLeod Seacoast. “We are accepting new male and female patients over 15 years of age. Please contact us at 843-390-5217.” McLeod Seacoast, located in North Myrtle Beach, is a 50-bed hospital offering a wide range of inpatient and outpatient services. Its medical staff includes more than 120 active and affiliate physicians. The mission of McLeod Health is to improve the overall health and well being of people living within South Carolina and eastern North Carolina by providing excellence in health care.
Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women, taking more lives than all
It’s time to Go Red For Women. Allison Janney, National Ambassador
Watch Allison’s story here
or at Youtube.com/GoRedForWomen
▶
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february
www.sasee.com 27
Are you Tart or Sweet?
“Move on! You are blocking the aisle with your cart,” I said to the guy in front of me who was causing a traffic jam while he waited on the Costco lady to serve him from her warming plate at her station. She raised her hair-netted head and stared at me, the epitome of a harried shopper. She said nothing to me but arched her eyebrow. “I’m his wife so I get to talk to him like that,” I said, as explanation. I felt slightly embarrassed. I wondered if she actually thought I’d address a stranger like that! I’d never speak to a stranger the way I do my husband of thirty-five years. And never would I be so rude to someone else out in public. “Does she always treat you like that?” the lady with the Saran-wrapped hands asked my husband as she handed him a napkin and a speared meatball. He nodded affirmatively and plopped the steaming, savory meat chunk in his mouth. I laughed. That night I saw advertised on Facebook an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, and it was entitled “Be Nice” with the subtitle: “Are you nicer to strangers than you are to the person you live with?” I knew I wasn’t alone. Why is it when I go out to dinner with another couple I listen with rapt attention to my friend’s lame stories or her husband’s even lamer tales, and yet when my own spouse launches into an anecdote that might not be any worse than those I tuned in for, I immediately search the table for the condiments and pipe up amid the punch line with an intrusive “Pass the butter!” I look toward him. “Please.” Sometimes, I wish I could adopt the affect of Nancy Reagan who gazed at her husband as if he were perpetually standing under the mistletoe – day after day, year after year, decade after decade. Me, I sort of give my husband a passing nod even when he’s dressed handsomely in white tie and tails, and then I quip, “You forgot a haircut, didn’t you?” Why is it the people who mean the most to us in life sometimes get our scraps of attention, the remnants of our day after we have expended our energy on other pursuits, like careers or raising a family or indulging in a hobby or just out chasing happiness by shopping, athletics or other transient activities? Often, the person who makes our world go round doesn’t know it because we fail to tell him. Or her! We feel they know. Most likely, they do. We don’t want to be the insincere type who ends every phone chat – even if it’s the recital of a grocery list – with a quick “Love ya.” That same toned ubiquitous “Luv ya” is said to almost everyone nowadays. Nor do we desire to emulate the couple who despise each other but end every conversation with
blowing kisses into the receiver. Phony baloney, as-the-stomach-turns adorations we don’t seek. And yet, “Bah! Humbug!” or its modern day equivalent seems okay. Maybe the insincerity is no worse than the rudeness that is used by monogamous couples because they are too weary, grumpy, jaded, lazy or conceited to gaze at their beloved with admiration and speak in soft loving tones and use language that is deservingly kind. Every year I make resolutions. Usually they involve weight loss and exercise or organizing closets and making to-do lists. This year I’m changing that. Come Valentine’s Day, I’m going to treat my spouse like “a stranger in the night” across a crowded room, like the twosome in the Sinatra song. Instead of talking to him the way an exasperated animal control man might scold when corralling a bucky goat, I will speak so politely to my husband that the serving ladies at Costco will think we’d never laid eyes on each other until they spotted us groping – for the last crab dipped cracker across a crowded food cart!
by Erika Hoffman
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february
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february
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www.sasee.com 29
Old News by Diane Stark
“Oh, Honey, I’m so sorry,” my sister said, hugging me. “We’re all still in shock.” She was in shock? I was the one whose marriage had just fallen apart. I was in my parents’ basement, trying to survive our first family gathering since my not-so-happy announcement. More hugs. More sympathetic looks. I knew they meant well, but frankly, I was tired of the Pity Party. “Can we just play a game or something?” I said, trying to smile. “I just want to pretend for this one night that everything is OK.” “Oh, of course,” my brother said too quickly. My siblings and their spouses hurried to the game closet, everyone rushing to do as I’d asked. Before we could agree on a game, my mom came downstairs. She put her arm around my shoulders and said, “Aunt Betty is here, and she’d like to talk to you.” “Why me?” I asked. “Doesn’t she want to see all of her nieces and nephews? My mom gave me a look. “You know why she wants to see you.” She squeezed my shoulder. “She’s been through this herself, and she just wants to make sure you’re all right.” I sighed and swallowed hard against the sudden lump in my throat. “Why can’t everyone just treat me like they always do? Neither of the boys has even teased me. How weird is that?” I shrugged and added, “It’s not like I’m made of glass or something.” But even as I said the words, I knew they were a lie. The truth was that I could shatter at any moment, and everyone in the room knew it. “We’re just trying to be supportive,” my mom said. “I know, and I love you guys for it,” I said. “But right now, what would help me most is distraction. I want to just forget for a little while.” My sister-in-law patted my shoulder. “It’s OK, Diane. All of this attention is just temporary. Pretty soon, something will happen to someone else, and this will be old news.” I knew she wasn’t trying to be unkind, but I was crushed. The very
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idea that my heartbreak would be “old news” was preposterous. My life had completely fallen apart. My marriage was over. My kids would endure a painful divorce, and we were about to lose our home. Everything was a mess, and in that moment, I was sure I would never be happy again. No, my divorce was never going to be old news. Not to me. Over the next few weeks, I recalled my sister-in-law’s words. The pain was still so fresh. Nope, no old news here. My heartbreak was still very, very new. But gradually, as the months went by, I began to feel better. One day, I was at work, reading a book to my kindergarten class. There was a funny part in the book, and several of the kids giggled. Their laughter made me laugh, and one of those precious boys raised his hand and said, “You seem happier today.” I smiled thoughtfully. I realized that for the first time in a really long time, I was actually happy. I grinned at my class and said, “You guys make me happy.” That little boy stood up to hug me, and the entire class followed suit. It was the best group hug of my whole life. It’s hard to believe, but that healing hug happened seven years ago, and those sweet kindergartners are now sixth-graders. But as I write this, it’s painful for me to even think of those precious children. It hurts because today our nation is mourning the loss of twenty first grade students from a Connecticut school. My heart bleeds for their parents. I can’t even imagine their pain. I pray for them, and I cry for them, and I wonder how they’ll ever move on with their lives. Some heartbreaks, like mine, do eventually become “old news.” Life goes on, and bit by bit, the hurt fades away until one day you realize it’s completely gone. But other heartbreaks never go away. They may dull with time, but things are never exactly the same. I have no words for the parents who have lost their children in this senseless tragedy. But I do promise to remember them in my prayers. Because their loss will never, ever be old news.
february
Expressions of LOVE! Repairs, Appraisals, Jewelry Consignment & Custom Designs by James Huntley
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Lindsey is wearing our Beth Bowley Red Valentine dress
february
www.sasee.com 31
A
Mom:
thin fog blankets the stiff, short grass, lit by the yellow glow of street lamps on the park’s perimeter. The sun is not yet over the rise, and I’m thankful for the waterproof gloves I pulled on before leaving the house, protecting my hands from the cold earth. My breath comes out in white puffs. As I crawl backwards, I work to keep my butt down, my feet and hands moving. Between my legs, I can see a clear path ahead of me. “Push Ups!” Keath yells from somewhere in the fog. I stop immediately where I am and begin. Not counting, not pausing, not thinking; just pushing until I hear “crawl!” and resume my movement in the grass. A few minutes later we are lined up like soldiers, sitting on a short, brick wall somewhere in the park. Curling our knees to our chest, then stretching them out again – Ten…Twenty. By twenty-five the sweat is rolling down the sides of my face, and I’m glad for the chill in the air. By thirty reps my abs are on fire. “Hit the deck,” our instructor yells, “two minutes of sit ups!” And we do. No talking, no complaining, just sit-ups with perfect form, perfect concentration. I am not in the military. And I’m not a glutton for punishment, although some would argue this. I am also not twenty-five. I am a forty year-old mom of three. And a member of a fitness boot camp that believes there are no short cuts, no easy ways out: Just hard work. Discipline – rain or shine, whether it’s 28 degrees or 98. It’s a workout program that has not only changed the way I look and feel, but my entire philosophy of life. Before that first class, five years ago, I didn’t know what it meant to give 100%. Not really. I worked hard, and when I was tired or started to feel sore, I’d stop. What I’ve learned is that this body of mine is capable of much more than I ever gave it credit for. I’ve learned to ignore the “I’m tired” cries in my own head and push through the discomfort for one more push up; one more rep. I credit this philosophy with helping me survive the lower points in my life. Divorce, surgery, toddler tantrums and pre-teen angst, financial woes and general difficult times we moms experience. I also credit it for my strong work ethic, and my desire to succeed. I desperately need time to myself. As a mom, I rarely get it. Even when I’m by myself, I’m never really alone with my thoughts, my actions. I’m doing laundry and thinking about how to get my middle schooler’s grades back on track. I’m cutting the lawn and wondering how to talk to my high school son about the latest peer pressure. I’m cooking dinner and simultaneously helping with math homework, making lunches for the next day and planning tomorrow night’s schedule in my head. Even long-distance phone conversations with an old friend are punctuated with calls of “MOM!” But this hour of boot camp? This one hour three times a week, surrounded by fellow “sharks” as we call each other, is the only time I am truly alone. There are no interruptions. In fact, it’s the only time I am ever out of arms reach of my iPhone. And that’s okay, because I’m working too hard to even think about text messages or the latest Facebook post, much less tonight’s dinner, kids’ grades or looming bills.
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Uninterrupted by Beth Wood
When I’m out there in the early morning fog, doing push ups in the dirt, climbing backwards up grass hills on my hands and toes, and fighting through sprint drills, I’m competing against myself. The other 23 hours of the day are so focused on others…work, clients, my kids, chores, responsibilities. But this hour is truly all about me. Every time I leave a boot camp class, I feel strong, happy and proud. Because I know I’ve pushed myself to the extent of my abilities. It has built my character, changed the way I think and act. I don’t make up excuses or look for the easy way out. I’ve also cleared my head, exhausted my energies and feel a little more capable of dealing with things like sibling arguments and unfinished homework. Boot camp is a full-body experience. Every part of my body from my mind to my calves is engaged and gets a work out. I’m better for the experience – a better person and a better mom. I am better equipped to handle the interruptions each day because I know I’ll get my time. Sweat, blood and tears might accompany it, but they’re all mine.
february
A
n e-mail message was sent out to see if there was any interest in a faculty-wide weight loss competition. I deleted it. I had many reasons for not wanting to participate: too time consuming, too costly, too personal. My weight was not something I planned to discuss with my co-workers. It just didn’t feel right. After the first e-mail message, there was another. Several teachers had signed up, but the group leader was recruiting more. I heard coworkers chatting about weight loss goals and tips. It was the main topic of discussion in the English and History departments. “Have you signed up for Prince George Biggest Losers?” a co-worker asked. “No, I haven’t. I don’t really have the time for that right now,” I lied. Really? The time? The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. I was declining the opportunity to improve my health because I didn’t have time for a weekly weigh-in and a brief meeting. I was starting to re-think my decision. My friend, Anna, and I were walking to the faculty lounge to get some coffee when she told me she had decided to join the group. “Have you thought about it?” she asked. “We could be weigh-in buddies. It might be fun.” Talking with Anna made me realize that I had not seen all of the potential benefits of joining. At the end of our discussion, I returned to my work area and fired off an e-mail to the gym teacher, our weight loss group leader. After all, what did I have to lose? Well, about twenty-five pounds to be exact. “Ms. Gilbert, please add me to the list of participants. I will be at the first meeting next Friday.” Ms. Gilbert made folders for all of the participants that contained charts for weight and measurements as well as some tips for healthy eating and exercise. At our first meeting, we recorded our initial weight and discussed the rules of the program. We would weigh in each Friday morning with our partners. We would pay two dollars per week for sixteen weeks. There would be a weekly cash prize awarded as well as two grand prizes, one for the most pounds lost and one for most inches. I didn’t make too many immediate changes to my diet. I just quit eating late night snacks, switched to diet sodas and drank black coffee. At the first official weigh-in, I recorded a loss of eight and a half pounds. I was quite pleased. I was even happier when I found out that was the week’s biggest loss, and I was taking home twenty-five dollars. As the weeks went by, I continued making small changes to my diet. I
drank more water, ate more salads, decreased the size of my dinner and avoided second helpings. I wasn’t losing weight quickly; but I also didn’t feel like I was suffering. That was important to me. If I gave up too much too quickly, I was afraid I might become frustrated and quit. A few weeks in to the program, co-workers began commenting on my appearance. “Those pants are sagging off your behind,” one lady said. “It’s about time for you to go shopping for some new clothes.” I thanked her graciously for the compliment. It felt great to have my hard work noticed by someone other than immediate family. I was encouraged by the positive comments, and I continued down my path of exercise and better eating. About a month later, I won the weekly competition a second time. At that point, I had lost a total of twelve pounds. It was a little victory between the
A Good Time to Lose by Melissa Face
scale and me. So I kept on going. I was steadily losing weight, and I could feel myself becoming more confident. My tummy wasn’t protruding, and my double chin was starting to realize it no longer owned a spot on my face. And in addition to my personal loss, I was also enjoying being a cheerleader for co-workers. We congratulated one another in the hallways and shared our success stories. I felt connected to others as we continued working towards a common goal. The middle of December finally arrived, and it was time for our final weigh-in. I didn’t lose anything that week – not a single pound. I also didn’t gain. But I knew that no loss would badly hurt my chance of an overall win. I was not the school’s biggest loser. I lost a total of nineteen pounds but there were three other people who lost more. I was happy for them. Everything about the experience had been positive, and I was really glad I had participated. When school opened after winter break, an e-mail was sent out to see if there was any interest in a second weight loss competition. I didn’t waste any time making that decision. After all, what did I have to lose? Honestly, about ten more pounds. And what did I stand to gain? More self-confidence, friendships and improved health. I signed up right away.
february
www.sasee.com 33
The Non-Existent Right or Wrong of How to Travel by Margo Millure
The Doctor, the Butcher Knife and Reality French Lessons I was sick today and instead of calling the doctor for me, Marianne, my French teacher, suggests in French that maybe, maybe, I should “make an appointment with the doctor myself.” Maybe it is the fever, but only part of me understands this unfolding scene at the Coeur de France Ecole de Langues in Sancerre, France. I am left behind a little, because everything all of a sudden has gone from pretend land, where two days ago we “went grocery shopping” in French with little plastic fruits and veggies, and yesterday we wandered around town buying cooking ingredients, to something that feels a little too real. The town of Sancerre has lots of cafes, wine shops and charm. Additionally there is exactly one of everything that’s vital to French town life: a boulangerie, a patisserie, a charcuterie and a Michelin starred restaurant. But today, what turns out to be the most important to me is that there is one la pharmacie and one le médecin (doctor). Experience says I should be ready for this. A scene with le médecin is invariably in every French language workbook I have ever used. Although Sancerre is without a doubt the most perfect spot imaginable to both be sick and practice my French, I don’t want to do this. Illness and all, I want to stay back in the classroom, buying little plastic fruits and vegetables. Marianne is now at least two sentences ahead of me and says something that was pretty close to this: “Marcher vers la place du village, continuez tout droit tout le chemin à la pharmacie. Puis c’est la porte verte à quelques portes dernières de la pharmacie.” In other words, something along the lines of, “Walk towards the town square, and the doctor is at the green door that is a few doors past the pharmacy.” I walk to the location of this green door and am very thankful for Sancerre and its small size. When I arrive, the door looks as if it has been painted in honor of my unscheduled arrival, and I feel like looking around to see if there is an Alliance Francaise crew filming my reality immersion lesson. The waiting room and office appear to be empty except for a young receptionist behind a second door. I amuse the heck out of her, but manage to make my appointment, curiously, for “in about an hour.” When I return around an hour later, I take a seat in the still empty waiting room, which except for a few strange looking creatures on a French alphabet poster that I can’t figure out what they are supposed to be, I could be back in South Carolina. Well that and the large supply of newish French fashion magazines fanned on the table. After a few minutes of thumbing through one of the magazines and pondering France’s national obsession with cellulite, a woman with long, dark, and very mobile curls enters the waiting room from the reception area. Heading for the restroom she glances at me quickly, a flash of exotic eyes piercing through rectangular Euro glasses. She tries to open the restroom door, jiggling it decisively several times when obviously it is locked.
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I pull my nose out of the French magazine long enough to envy her ability to pull off the shirt she is wearing, a layered tee shirt/sweater hybrid, accented with lace stripes. It is an outfit that if spotted in the U.S. on many, might look to have come from Kmart; on her body in Sancerre, France, it looks as if it may have been bought on Paris’s Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré or at Printemps. She pulls air through her teeth, making a disgusted, “pshhttt.” sound, a sound that she and French people in general do very well. She spins around and strides back to where she came from, shutting the door firmly behind her. She reappears about a minute later, and has something shiny in her hand, which I presume to be a key to the locked restroom door. However, the metal object she carries is not a key, but a butcher knife. “Le couteau” is rather large, and its blade catches a glint of sunlight as she heads for the restroom door. She appears to be unhappy or maybe I’m just misinterpreting her intensity. I feel as if now we have jumped ahead again in our language workbooks, to the chapter where there is going to be a une victime d’un crime. Fortunately instead of going all French crime novel on me, she bends down like a thief towards the lock. I must confess that after a week of sustaining myself on large amounts of rich French food, including the local goat cheese, my first thought is why when I gain weight can’t it be distributed in my rear end in the same way it is in this woman. Deftly she wiggles the knife this way then that in the lock. In less than 15 seconds, she’s in. A few minutes later I am called back to see the doctor. That my doctor turns out to be the knife wielding, lock picker with the brown curls and the nice tush doesn’t really surprise me at all. Our appointment goes well: She practices her medicine, and I practice my French. With a couple of exceptions, we “parlons tres bien.” My impression is momentarily thrown into doubt when upon coming back out into the waiting area the receptionist is giggling. Then I remember that giggling from the natives when practicing their language comes with the territory. Next it’s on to la pharmacie. Pharmacies are identified by a large green cross in every French town, and I know I’ll be able to find it. Besides, Marianne told me where it was if you recall. It’s just a few doors down on the way back to school.
february
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Mad Hatter Mania Dinner Dance and Hat Contest, to benefit Long Bay Symphony, 6 pm, Dunes Golf and Beach Club, $75 per person. For more info, call 843-448-8379.
21st Annual Myrtle Beach Stamp and Postcard Show, Clarion Hotel and Conference Center in Myrtle Beach (formerly Holiday Inn West). Sat. 10 am-5 pm, Sun. 10 am-4 pm, free admission and appraisals. For more info, call 843-347-0087 or e-mail lilfort@sccoast.net.
Chocolate and Champagne for the Creatures, to benefit SC-CARES animal rescue. 5-9 pm, The Cooper House, 6011 Dick Pond Rd. in Socastee, $30 per person or $50 per couple. For more info, call 843-546-7893 or visit www.sc-cares.org.
Dance Theatre of Harlem, 7 pm, Wheelwright Auditorium, CCU. For more info, call 843-349-ARTS or visit www.coastal.edu/culturalarts.
Winter Teas at Brookgreen Gardens, Saturdays, seatings at 3:30 and 4 pm, members $23, nonmembers $30, reservations are required. For more info, call 843-235-6016 or visit www.brookgreen.org.
FPC Concert Series, 1 pm, First Presbyterian Church, Myrtle Beach, Jeremy Denk, Piano. For more info, call 843-448-4496 or visit www.myrtlebeachpresbyterianchurch.org.
Moveable Feast, Janna McMahan discusses, Anonymity, Ocean One, 11 am, $25. For more info, call 843-235-9600 or visit www.classatpawleys.com.
Princess Gala to benefit American Red Cross, 8:30 am breakfast at Travinia Italian Kitchen, parade through the Market Common, red carpet entrance to princess movie, $25, princess costume required. For more info, call 843-477-0020 or e-mail wendy.spring@redcross.org.
february
The Scoop
february
Visit www.sasee.com for a full calendar and more Sasee events!
August: Osage County, Theatre of the Republic, Conway. For more info, call 843-488-0821, www.theatreoftherepublic.com.
Bi-Lo Myrtle Beach Marathon, events for all ages. For more info, call 843-293-RACE or visit www.mbmarathon.com.
19th Annual Horry County Museum Quilt Gala, 10 am-4 pm, Ocean Lakes Campground Recreation Center. For more info, call 843-915-5320 or visit www.horrycountymuseum.org.
Winyah Bay Heritage Festival, events throughout downtown Georgetown. For more info, call 843-833-9919 or visit www.winyahbayfestival.org.
www.sasee.com 35
Inspiring Ob i t uar ies by Janey Womeldorf
I read the obituaries. I never used to – too morbid, or so I thought. All that changed when I met Mr. P. Mr. P. was our neighbor. He was 95, lived on his own, had 20/20 vision, no major health issues, was as sharp as a button, and still had his driving license. He drove a Ford pick-up truck which, befitting any man of his age was, of course, black. One Friday night, about 6 pm, I was driving into our neighborhood when I saw Mr. P. pull up in front of his apartment. I watched as he painstakingly maneuvered his slow but capable body out of his truck, his cane in one hand, a Wal-Mart grocery bag in the other. I trotted up the path towards him to ask if I could help but I should have known; a man of his generation and stature was too proud for help, especially from a young lady half his age. Naughty curiosity, however, had led me to wonder what necessitated a 95-year old man to drive to the Wal-Mart on a Friday night. I didn’t mean to peek, (okay, maybe I did) but could not believe what I saw in his bag. It contained a single six-pack of beer. As if reading my mind, he looked at me, and with a wicked smirk confessed, “Hey, I fancied a beer and a smoke tonight.” I giggled as I shared the episode with my husband that night and we both agreed: Good for him! Just because he’s almost 100-years old, why shouldn’t he indulge in a beer on a Friday night? Everybody else does. As for the cigarette (which I only ever heard him refer to as a smoke), if you’re almost 100, what was the worst that could happen? It still makes a grin spread across my face. Over the next few years, we happily stopped by for a quick hello whenever we saw Mr. P. sitting on his porch. It never was quick though; how could it be when in every conversation, he regaled us with a riveting story from his incredible life. He put a face on things we’d only read about in history books and we felt honored every time he let us stroll with him down memory lane. One time, when I stopped by to introduce my Mum (who herself is in her 70s), he smiled at her and asked, “Want to come in and see my pad?” He hadn’t lost his ability to flirt, or clean house apparently; his house was spotless.
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By the time Mr. P. celebrated his 100th birthday, we lived in a different neighborhood on the other side of town. I started glancing at the obituaries in our local newspaper, half-expecting to see his name, but always hoping I would not. Before I knew it, my glances became longer, and I found myself reading the obituaries of the other fine people who had reached the end of their lives. Common to what I had previously believed, it no longer felt morbid; their lives were fascinating, intriguing and strangely uplifting. These were people who had lived life to the fullest and their stories of love, heroism, achievements, and accomplishments humbled and inspired me. In last Sunday’s obituaries, there was a 96-year old woman who, six months prior to her death took a vacation to Europe where she visited four different countries. After she got back, her doctor told her that in retrospect such an ambitious trip probably hadn’t been a good idea for a woman her age. She said that age was never her concern – living life to its fullest was. I just got back from traveling to Michigan for the holidays; that was exhausting enough, and I’m only 48. And yet here’s a woman twice my age who took a fourcountry European tour. But there was more: She also mastered six languages. She spoke two fluently by the time she was a teenager, learned two more in her twenties, and then somewhere between raising her family, building a career and travelling the world, found time to learn two more. She never wanted to get rusty so actively volunteered into her 90s teaching English to non-native speakers. Wow. Her ability to live life to the fullest inspired me to question mine. She found time to master six languages and yet here I was, too lazy or too busy to find time to study a single page of the Spanish book I bought five weeks previous. She mastered six; surely I could learn one. Being busy was no excuse, and it took a lady I’ve never met to remind me of that. Even in death, she was still making a difference, and so last Sunday morning, I renewed my commitment to learn Spanish. Many of the announcements are heartbreaking – people who died far too young – but all of them reveal how truly loved they were and how much their joy and their actions impacted others. Many of them contributed more in their tragically-short years than others do in an entire lifetime. Maybe that’s why I read them – they remind me to always live life to the fullest. I never did spot Mr. P.’s name which means he should be around 106 now. Unfortunately, we now live in a different state so I will never know just how long his black Ford was parked in front of his house. Maybe it still is? If you are ever passing through Tennessee and happen to come across a blackFord-truck-driving centenarian at the Wal-Mart, he may well be my Mr. P. If he is, stop and talk; his stories will inspire you. Oh, and buy him a six pack of beer too, he’ll appreciate that. Especially, if it’s Friday.
february
Advertiser Index
Which Craft?
Art & Soul. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Barbara’s Fine Gifts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Bio-Identical Hormones. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Brookgreen Gardens. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10 Bou’Tiki. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Burroughs & Chapin Art Museum. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Cabana Gauze. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Coastal Carolina Breast Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Coastal Carolina OB/GYN. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Douglas Diamond Jewelers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Elderberry Salon. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Eleanor Pitts Fine Gifts & Jewelry. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 En Facé. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Finders Keepers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Fitness N’ FriendZ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Grady’s Jewelers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Grand Strand Homewatch Caregivers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Grand Strand Plastic Surgery. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 The Kangaroo Pouch. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Lands End Restaurant. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Long Bay Symphony. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 McLeod Health . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Millie’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Palmetto Ace Home Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Pawleys Island Bakery. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 The Pink Cabana. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Pounds Away of Myrtle Beach. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Pure Compounding. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Rice Paddy Restaurant. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Rioz Brazilian Steakhouse. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Rose Arbor Fabrics & Interiors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Safe Kids. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Shades & Draperies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Simply Sophia. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 South Atlantic Bank. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 South Strand Internists. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Studio 77. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Take 2 Resale. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Taylor’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Taz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Tiki Tan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Treasures Jewelers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 UltraSkin Wax Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 WEZV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Which Craft?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Wine and Design. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Women in Philanthropy and Leadership . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
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25th Anniversary Symphony Series
Thinking Forward. Looking Back. Sunday, March 10, 2013 at 4:00pm Myrtle Beach High School Arts & Music Center
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One of Us Has Breast Cancer by Claire Fullerton
After a year and three months, we’re just now coming up for air. Surprisingly, it has taken this long to rise to the top for we have been overwhelmed since receiving the news that one of us has breast cancer. I come from the south and grew up in a tight knit circle of friends that can best be likened to the workings of a bee hive, so when something happens to one of us, in many ways, it happens to us all. It’s funny the way the unexpected presents itself, how you never see it coming, and how you can be going along with your life, making your plans and assume that they’re a certainty by virtue of the fact that you’ve made them. That’s exactly where things stood when we got the news about Tama. One of us from our enclave in the south now lives in Sun Valley, Idaho. Her name is Louise, and she’s the larger than life, funny one. Louise has a sense of humor that literally reduces her to tears, and it tends to be contagious. She’s also the organizer and plan maker who got it in her head one day to have Tama and me fly out to her home in the mountains for an extended weekend. Tama and I immediately fell in line, our husbands were alerted, our dates were set, and our plane tickets were secured. Tama and I were on our way, she from her home in Memphis, and I from mine in L.A. Eight days before our scheduled departure, my phone rang. I looked at the display illuminating Louise’s name and thought, “No doubt some sort of instruction is coming,” but it turned out that wasn’t the case. When I picked up the phone, Louise was crying. “What is it?” I asked. “Tama has breast cancer,” Louise said without preamble. “What?” I questioned again, only this time, with an entirely different inflection. This time, I meant two things: Did I hear you correctly? How in the world could this possibly be true? I’ll say this about all of us reared in the south: We know how to do. We know how to step up, we know the perfect gesture for everything, no matter what you’re talking about, and we know how to meet all of life’s emergencies. We pretty much slide into an automated code of proper behavior because that’s what our southern mothers passed down to us. We don’t talk about it amongst ourselves, it’s all just the way things are because it was expected of us while growing up, and now we expect it from each other. “What should we do,” I asked Louise, because it was the first thing that sprang to mind. “I think we should call off ya’ll coming out here,” Louise said. “Alright, is that what Tama wants to do?” I asked. “Tama doesn’t know what she wants to do. Her family is freaking out,” Louise reported. “I’m not going to call her today – when did she find out?”
38 www.sasee.com
“Yesterday,” Louise interjected. “They called with her mammogram results, said they found a mass and wanted to do a biopsy, which Tama didn’t bother to tell us, and now they’re telling her it’s cancer. Now she’s telling us.” “I don’t even know what to say,” I exhaled. “Call Tama tomorrow anyway,” Louise directed. You have to know Tama. I spent many years thinking Tama was the quiet sort but now I know better; Tama just doesn’t let on. What she is, is a woman of few words. She’s not one of those superfluous talkers; she simply contributes to a conversation with as few words as possible and leaves the floor to everybody else. She doesn’t feel the need to position herself front and center, and this is exactly why Louise and I have always deferred to her. “Hey Tama, Louise called me,” I said to her on the phone the next day. “God, it’s always something,” Tama said. “Seriously, is there anything I can do?” “Yes, come over here, and tell my kids I’m not dead yet,” Tama said, deflecting the gravity of the moment. The three of us went on that way for days, backing and forthing over the telephone, vacillating between drama and sarcasm, comparing thoughts and notes and ideas and stories of who has gone through something similar and achieved a happy outcome, until Tama’s doctors presented her with a concrete, step-by-step agenda that would begin within the month. For somebody handed a rule book on conduct at birth, I was still uncertain of what to say or do for my childhood friend. One has to have a frame of reference in some things, and I just didn’t have one for breast cancer or any other serious illness that came down the pike for one of us. “We need to get a plan,” Louise declared over the phone. “Good idea,” I said. “I think ya’ll should still come out here,” she said. “Tama says she may as well wait out here for the inevitable.” “Alright, let’s airlift Tama ‘on outta’ there, we may as well,” I agreed. I’ve found out that it’s the little things you do in support of a friend who has breast cancer that end up truly mattering. For four unscheduled days, we followed Tama’s lead, monitoring the understandable, yet unpredictable, fluidity of her emotions and finding the delicate balance between activity and restorative reprieve. We had lunch with Louise’s friends in Sun Valley, went shopping and took long walks on the mountain trails. When Tama teared up, we teared up (Ya’ll, let me cry now because I’m not going to cry in front of my husband or my kids when I get home,” Tama said.), and when the look on her otherwise stoic face suggested she was overwhelmed, we simply retreated to Louise’s house and took a nap no matter the time of day. We spent a lot of time talking about our intertwined childhoods, our histories and our families yet, oddly enough, we didn’t spend a lot of time dwelling on what was to come for Tama in the following months. For whatever reason, Tama just wanted to be, and Louise and I had the unspoken graciousness to just be right alongside her. It’s been a year and three months now, and in that time, the harrowing, incremental dynamic of Tama’s breast cancer has included multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, hair loss, on-going hives and reconstructive surgery. As friends in support, Louise and I kept vigil by demanding blow-by-blow details, sending presents, making phone calls and hanging on every twist and turn of her progress. It appears that the worst is behind her as there is no sign of the cancer’s return, Tama’s hair has grown back beautifully, and she looks and feels like a glowing million dollars. In my heart of hearts, I believe that Tama will forever be one of the fortunate breast cancer survivors and although there were times during her travails when I questioned whether anything I could do would ever be enough, since then I have realized that it is enough just to try, and it is enough just to be there in support and camaraderie alongside your friend.
february
We would love to have you in our “unforgettable” Sasee Bridal Guide, April 2013!
April 2013
unforgettable
The Guide to Your Perfect Day!
• Deadline for space is March 1, 2013 • Free in-house design • Space is limited, call 843-626-8911 for more information
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Women
&
Heart attacks
L inDa F owLer , Heart Disease Survivor McLeod Patient
D r . G avin L eask , Pee Dee Cardiology McLeod Physician
“Don’t smoke, watch what you eat, stay active and put your heart to work.”
First and foremost, commit yourself to a healthier way of living that you know can help prevent heart disease. and familiarize yourself with the most common signs of a heart attack, like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain in the center of your chest, pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck or jaw, shortness of breath, or nausea. Women of any age or lifestyle are susceptible, and symptoms can be very different from those experienced by men. call 911 immediately if you have any of these signs. For expert cardiac care, the mcLeod Heart & Vascular Institute is the wise choice. choose Wisely.
McLeod Heart & Vascular Institute mcLeodcardiac.org 50194-H&V LindaDrLeask Sasee 9x10.125.indd 1
scan the code to watch Linda tell her story. 1/18/13 5:17:33 PM