04 02 2008

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Enjoy the April Fool’s stories on our front page! And see our new comic feature, page 16

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Where the Washington area's poor and homeless earn and give their two cents April 2, 2008 – April 15, 2008 • Volume 5, Issue 11

www.streetsense.org

april fool’s announcement

Nationals Stadium to Welcome Overnight Guests

Jacqueline Dupree/JDLand.com

Homeless residents can apply for full-season, half-season or 20-game overnight plans. Applicants must prove they are homeless, come from the D.C. area and support the Nationals.

By Matthew Taylor Opening Day has taken on new meaning in the nation’s capital this year as the Washington Nationals are opening the doors of their new southeast D.C. stadium to the

city’s homeless population for overnight stays throughout the season. Under the “Open Door Policy” unveiled on April Fool’s Day by Team President Stan Kasten, the homeless are invited to sleep in stadium seats or on the concourse at Na-

tionals Park but must stay off of the field, a compromise brokered by Head Groundskeeper Doug Lopas, who stressed the need to protect the stadium’s new turf. “This generous plan will keep displaced residents from having to leave the city in

a futile search for low-income housing options,” said Barbara Silva, the Nationals director of community relations. “The last thing this organization wants to do is give

See

Stadium, page 4

would we kid you?

Lunar Real Estate Set Aside for Homeless By Robert Blair

A blue-ribbon panel headed by former Vice President Dan Quayle unveiled plans yesterday for a 10-year program to end chronic homelessness in America by establishing a self-supporting colony on the far side of the moon. “This program will be one small step for bureaucracy, but one giant leap for homelessness,” Quayle said at the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md. The proposed Chronic Homeless Resettlement in Space Program (CHRSP) is the result of a six-month study conducted by federal officials and private sector leaders representing the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), the National Coalition on Homelessness and the Washington Nationals baseball team. In honor of NASA’s 50th anniversary, the space agency now intends to move beyond space exploration and scientific discovery to embrace social justice missions as well, Quayle said. LOCAL NEWS What began as a modest proposGraveyard Shift al for a “Homeless in Space” shuttle Homeless residents with night jobs often can’t flight patterned after the earlier find a place to sleep during the day, page 6 “Teacher in Space” initiative grew into a long-term program to end

Inside This Issue (For Real This Time)

“NASA has a huge budget and lots of cool gadgets but no real mission. The Nats have a spring training facility that they don’t need during the summer, fall and winter. And we at the Coalition have lots of chronically homeless folks to contribute to the cause,” said Mike Karaoke, director of the National Coalition’s Sci-Fi Division. The original brainstorming session was scheduled for 2 to 5 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon in late September so that NASA could spend down its remaining public relations budget before the close of the fiscal year. However, the planning effort ended up lasting two full days. “It was worth it,” said Charles Nim-

See Moon, page 5

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY ROBERT ORIFICI/STREET SENSE

chronic homelessness by utilizing unused lunar real estate, explained Dr. Jonathan Swift, head of NASA’s Space-Time Continuum Center and the panel’s chief technical expert. After preliminary discussions with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development in September, Quayle brought together key players to brainstorm ways to raise public awareness and stimulate innovative, cost-effective solutions to homelessness. “The core idea is that NASA will provide the funding and technology, the Washington Nationals will provide training facilities, and the National Coalition will recruit chronically homeless single men and women to serve as space cadets, as the new astronauts will be known,” Quayle said. Advocates enthusiastically called it a “win-win” proposition.

Street Sense will recruit vendors from the new colony.

FEATURES

STREET SENSE NEWS

A poet helps homeless women write their way out of their pain, page 7

Meet the latest Street Sense baby, Isaac Quentin Osuri, page 14

EDITORIAL

INSERT

Moyo Onibuje argues that conditions at shelters break human rights laws, page 12

A showcase of art by prisoners around the country, insert

Split This Rock

The Debate Over Torture

It’s a Boy!

Prison Art


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04 02 2008 by Street Sense Media - Issuu