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in this issue
Family Facade
natuRal beauty
chRomatic camouFlage
self- expression in the face of confromity...............10
breaking boundaries in beauty........................22
in the gRey..........................34
out of frame.........................14
clean beauty: redefining makeup.......................26
tRue coloRs........................40
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togetheR who aRe you suRRounding youRselF with?...........................48
social chameleon consequences do you Know who you aRe?...........62
in ouR sKin accepting my sKin...................76
a diFFeRent Kind oF pRessuRe.......66 a guide to todays aesthetic..................52 bReaKing down gRoup aesthetics..........57
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Each copy is a physical version of our founding staff’s dedication, and each copy holds the promise of our future staff’s potential.
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A LETTER FROM THE FOUNDERS
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We’ll let you in on a little secret. At the beginning of every staff interview we held, each of us generally said the same thing. We repeated that opening script so many times that it became ingrained in our memories by the end of July. One small part of that introduction was our explanation for why we wanted to bring Strike to UCF. Alex would talk about the lack of clubs at UCF that suited her interests, Hanna would talk about the fact that she had never gotten the opportunity to explore her creative side, and Ashley would talk about the rough two years she had endured at UCF while trying to find a place where she belonged. If you look closely at our different reasons though, there’s one thing it seems we could all agree on—Strike was, or at least we hoped it would become, the creative community that UCF was missing. It would become a place where people from different disciplines could come together to celebrate the process of making something and a place where they could meet people who understood them, challenged them and made them better.
confirmed, it felt like we had already been working on this project for a lifetime, and yet, it had only really just begun. Like everyone who attempts to start something from scratch, we made mistakes (too many to count, honestly) and we struggled to find our way as we led our 90 person staff on this journey with us. There were days where we fought, we cursed, we cried, and we felt like this might not have been worth it — all in the name of starting something bigger than the three of us.
We set out with high hopes at the beginning of the summer as three people with little to no experience in our respective roles. By the time our staff was
Ashley, Alex, and Hanna
As we launch this founding issue of Strike Magazine UCF, we realize that it represents so much more than meets the eye. Each copy is a physical version of our founding staff’s dedication, and each copy holds the promise of our future staff’s potential. Thank you for supporting us this far. We hope you enjoy Strike UCF’s Issue 01: Chameleon. Strike Out,
Photo by David Cordero
Cover Design Ramesa Ahasan
ABOUT THE ISSUE In a time of transition and worldwide change, there’s nothing more important than being adaptable. Our theme for issue 01, “Chameleon,” aims to address the unique situation we’re currently in while touching on concepts that have captivated society for as long as we’ve been making art. Visually, this theme provided us with the opportunity to celebrate color. Although we didn’t know it when we started Strike UCF, color would quickly become a core element of the brand we’re trying to build for ourselves, and we find it fitting that our first issue is reflective of that. Over the course of three months, six shoots and 90 pages, we attempted to figure out what it means to be yourself. Each shoot portrays a different aspect of “Chameleon,” and each is equally important as we attempt self-discovery. We hope you get a sense of what makes our staff who we are, and we hope you find a little piece of yourself in this issue too.
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Spread Design By Ramesa Ahasan
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As we grow up, it’s usually our family who shapes us into the person we’ll become. Our parents tell us right from wrong and help us grow up, molding us into the people they want us to be. In a world where we’re told to be ourselves, many people feel more comfortable pretending to be someone else — even around the people closest to them. This hidden self that resides in most of us was the inspiration for our section, “Family Facade.”
Photos By Ashley Ferguson, Ollie Muniz, and Riley Karekos
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Photos by Oliver Muniz
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SELF- EXPRESSION IN THE FACE OF CONFORMITY By Jacob Willeford Society can be the cruelest force in the world — if you let it be. That was XTRJYMNSL R^ KFYMJW ܪWXY YTQI RJ a long time ago when I came home upset about some of the other boys making fun of what I wore. Growing up in a small town in Wisconsin was an Americana-style childhood and adolescence. We had all four seasons, and everyone knew everyone. Families are expected to wear, do, and say certain things. The problem with this kind of environment is that it can become very isolated and routine. Certain expectations and preconceived judgments are passed down from generation to generation of those who continue to remain in the same general location. All kinds of things come into play — politics, religion, race, sexual orientation, the way we speak and what we wear. Fashion can be, in many ways, self-expression, and wearing what represents us can be cathartic, illicit XJQK HTSܪIJSHJ FSI NSXUNWJ TYMJWX YT do the same. The culture that I grew ZU NS TKYJS KJQY QNRNYNSL \MJS . ܪWXY
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couple of graphic t-shirts and a buttoned black sweater. The chinos didn’t get too many nasty comments, but that black sweater was unacceptable. Straight men don’t wear that, straight men wear only boot cut jeans, a sports team hoodie and athletic shoes. That’s what I surely didn’t know where to start with everyone agreed upon, so how dare I updating my wardrobe, so I gravitated wear something different. How dare toward the things that made me want I deliberately try to dismantle the to express myself and began copying patriarchy. looks from celebrity idols — sort of “What the fuck are you wearing, piecing together parts of myself. Jake?” The reaction from some was to be “Are you gay now, or?” expected — insults, homophobic remarks, passive-aggressive jabs and “That’s something a girl would have.” strange looks. To be fair, we all know high school can be a little cutthroat and cliquey, so really anyone who tries I wasn’t trying to dismantle the to stray from the norm will likely be patriarchy. I wasn’t intentionally sabotaging the toxic ideals of TXYWFHN_JI KTW ITNSL XT 9MJ ܪWXY straight men that had been put in pieces that I bought would seem place in our town for decades (that completely normal to most people outside of our town. I remember going came later), I just thought the sweater was cool. Let me say that to H&M. All I bought were some slim again: I just thought it was cool. It ܪY HMNSTX NS INKKJWJSY HTQTWX F RF^ STY MF[J GJJS џ NY IJܪSNYJQ^ \FXSѣY YMJ GJXY TZYܪY . began to take interest in other things, have my own views and decide my own wardrobe. Style and fashion became the vessels that let me escape this sort of conformity and family façade that had been forced upon me most of my life.
“DO WHAT YOU LOVE, FIND YOUR TRUTH, SPEAK IT AND WEAR IT.” could’ve put on looking back — but that shouldn’t matter. Fashion is subjective, and I wish the conversation could be different. As the years went on, my style changed over and T[JW FLFNS . ܪSFQQ^ XYFWYJI YT NRUWT[J R^ XY^QJ and even began to wear more formal pieces — yet, it continued. “Skinny jeans? You’ve changed.” “What the hell are you all dressed up for?” I could sit here and write a twenty-page list of rude and offensive comments that were said at that time, but that wouldn’t do anybody any good. What’s important is what came of this, of me, and what gradually started to happen as I continued to express my true self in the face of my peers’ desire to have me conform: acceptance, and even respect. By the end of my time in Wisconsin, fashion became something people associated with me in no real negative connotation, but merely as an acknowledgment that it was part of who I was (and who I continue to be). Everyone struggles with feeling able to express themselves when ignorance and prejudice XZWWTZSI ZX FY FQQ YNRJX џ GZY YMFYѣX \M^ ܪSINSL the courage to be yourself is so important. It will be really, really hard sometimes, and you might conjure hate for the people who made you feel less than, but the beautiful thing about UJWXNXYJSHJ FSI WJKZXNSL YT XFHWNܪHJ ^TZW ideals is that it can end up leading you to surround yourself with people who feel the XFRJ \F^ >TZѣQQ ܪSI NSIN[NIZFQX \NYM YMJNW own experiences, their own style and fashion, GZY YMJ XFRJ HTZWFLJ YT ܪSI HTRRZSNY^ NS diversity and commonality in individuality. In our variance lies the beauty of human beings, and something like fashion presents that so perfectly.
Photos taken by Riley Karekos
)T \MFY ^TZ QT[J ܪSI ^TZW YWZYM XUJFP NY FSI wear it.
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Photo By Riley Karekos
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Photo by Ashley Ferguson
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Photo by Riley Karekos
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BEAUTY As mirrors of their surroundings, chameleons have a unique way of reflecting nature. They bring out the essence of the environment around them, enhancing its true beauty. That was our goal for this shoot: to celebrate the beauty that resides all around us, the beauty that we don’t even notice anymore, the “Natural Beauty.”
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Photos by Berona Muro
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B r e a k i n g Boundaries in Beauty By Jacob Willeford
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My name is Jake. I identify as a man, I’m straight and I wear foundation pretty often. There are multiple reasons that I choose to make this beauty product part of my daily routine. First, I’m very white – extremely white, in fact, and so much so that I even appear red sometimes. It’s really hard for the skin on my face to calm down because it’s sensitive and can’t handle the sun well, or dryness or oiliness. It breaks out all the time. I’ve been on Accutane and I currently have prescribed acne prevention products that I use in the morning and evening. Clearly, it takes some very ideal conditions and a perfect skincare routine for my face to look its best. This doesn’t always happen, and for those times it doesn’t, I reach for foundation to help me out if I’m going to class, going out at night with friends or my girlfriend, if I’m really breaking out, or in any situation where my skin affects my confidence, comfort or mood. But, wait, makeup is for girls or gay men, right? Wrong. Come on, let’s think about this logically. If you had the option to assist the skin on your face (that I know you’re more than likely insecure about) so you feel confident and look handsome before you go out on a date with a girl you like, wouldn’t you take it? If you said no, stop lying to yourself. In fact, take a moment to think about why you lied right now – what was it? It’s that voice in the back of your head, isn’t it? The one that whispers insults and homophobic remarks. The one that says, “Makeup is feminine, I can’t wear that.” Maybe that voice is
your own, maybe it’s your friend’s, maybe it’s a brother, maybe a grandfather, maybe a father. It’s alright, I’ve been there. I’ve had it. I still have it – but I control it, it doesn’t control me, not anymore. That voice is the embodiment of toxic masculinity. It takes many forms and personas, but it has plagued the straight men of the world for centuries. Fortunately for you, we live in one of the most accepting, progressive, stereotype-breaking eras the world has ever seen. If there was ever a time to push back at that voice in the back of your head and have people support you along the way, it’s now. I support you. It’s also alright to ask questions, to find out why there’s this long-standing stereotype around women and beauty products, to research and figure out what beauty products might work best for you. For the love of God, walk into an Ulta Beauty store. It’s not only for women. Your worst scenario of someone coming directly up to you and either making fun of you for being there or forcing you out of the store will never happen. They have tons of great skin, hair and beauty products that will help you feel and look great, and guess what? There are men’s products inside, too. If you don’t feel comfortable going into a store and shopping for it, I understand – I’m with you. I didn’t even start moisturizing my face until I was in college. I didn’t know anything, and as far as I had been told, skin self-care was not something a straight man did. There’s nothing wrong with caring
about how you look, nothing! In fact, I’m sure more people would appreciate it if you did, man. Again, I know how you feel – I know you’re scared. Please, spare me the tough guy reaction that you most likely had to that statement, too. Fear doesn’t equate to femininity (and there’s nothing wrong with exploring your femininity, by the way). You’re scared of being criticized, cast out, made to feel like less of a man, an outsider, and even getting the wrong makeup. I can at least help out with the last part and let you know that a quick Google search will provide some great articles that teach you how to get started with all makeup, which is a resource I wish I had when I started. The other things I mentioned that you’re scared about are personal battles that you’ll have to fight. The great thing is, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to do it alone. Find the people in your life who love and accept you, who will answer your questions (makeup or otherwise), who aren’t quick to judge and push against toxic masculinity. If you can’t think of anyone like that in your life, it might be time to reassess who you surround yourself with. I’m here to say I support you, and that I truly hope this helps you. If it does, take the opportunity to help another straight man struggling with the voice in the back of his head, trying to break free.
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Photos by Ashley Ferguson
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Photo by Berona Muro
CLEAN BEAUTY: REDEFINING MAKEUP Margo McCoy
More than ever before, our society is hyperaware of what we put into and onto our bodies. Years ago, you might have heard friends talking about buying more organic makeup or skincare products or visiting health stores and farmer’s markets to find the most authentically healthy products. Fast forward to now, and clean beauty surrounds us; shops have sections dedicated to products with a clean stamp of approval, and individuals are ditching all of their old products for sustainable ones. The difficult part about clean beauty, however, is its definition alone. The terms “clean” and
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“natural” are still broadly recognized by the FDA and beauty community, remaining undefined and lacking clear, regulated guidelines. So, what does clean beauty actually mean? In short, it means that the products don’t contain toxic or harmful ingredients. The ingredients may be completely natural, but they might also be synthetic — whichever they are, they have been tested to ensure that they are safe for most. But still, there’s no guarantee that the brands making this claim are actually practicing clean and sustainable habits. If you want to start using clean beauty, then it’s
important to stay educated on the brands you are buying from and their individual practices. Here are some brands already doing it right. Ilia Beauty Ilia Beauty was created by Sasha Plavsic, a health and wellness advocate who discovered that her favorite lip balm was filled with unsafe ingredients. She created her brand with the mission to create products that contained natural and safe ingredients while still ensuring that product performance was top notch. With a focus on skin health at the heart of the brand, every product aims to nourish skin. Ilia Beauty is
transparent about its ingredients and tests each one for safety, but the brand is completely cruelty-free. Recognizable by their sleek, ecofriendly packaging, Ilia Beauty ensures that its products truly meet the definition of clean, down to presentation. A zero waste recycling program is offered for customers to send in used products and ensure that none of them end up in landfills. In all matters, Ilia is proving that it is sustainable at heart. Kosås Next up is Kosås, a clean beauty brand developed by Sheena Yaitanes, a chemist and artist who created the company with the goal of producing beauty products with both botanical ingredients and safe synthetics. It’s completely transparent about its ingredients. Its products avoid parabens, mineral oils, fragrances, sulfates and other harmful ingredients, and it is cruelty-free and gluten-free. From more natural makeup looks to bold, exciting products, the brand caters to a wide audience that is well-loved by many in the beauty community.
While there are problems regarding what defines clean and natural beauty, there are still many benefits to the use of these products. One major benefit is that individuals are now paying more attention to the labels and spending time researching what ingredients they are or aren’t okay with having in the products they use. With such disagreement over what ingredients are actually safe, it’s up to consumers to decide that for themselves. The bottom line? Read the labels and do your research, pay attention to what you want to put on your skin, and only do what you feel is best for your body. There are so many products out there — it’s up to us to find out what we want to use.
Drunk Elephant A cult favorite, Drunk Elephant’s brand focuses on body health beyond makeup: skin care, hair care and body care. Founded by Tiffany Masterson, an advocate of clean beauty, Drunk Elephant makes it clear that it only uses the best, biocompatible ingredients for their products — ones that support skin health and are not harsh on the body, regardless of whether they are natural or synthetic. Drunk Elephant purposely avoids what clean beauty brands call the “suspicious 6,” which includes ingredients such as essential oils, dying alcohols and fragrances or dyes. The brand is also crueltyfree, avoiding any and all testing on animals. Photo by David Cordero
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Color. It’s what chameleons are known for. They may use it to blend into their surroundings, but we were determined to create bold looks that celebrated these colors. What you’ll see in this section is a series of monochromatic images — each one represents our attempt at standing out while blending in. And each color takes on a sort of personality, whether that’s playful and pretty or alluring and powerful.
Spread Design By Ramesa Ahasan
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Photo by Federico Martinez
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TRUE COLORS By Envy Velez
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hen I was finally given a choice on what to wear, I felt imposed to stay inside the lines. As peculiar as I thought it was to be discriminated against by the colors I wore, I accepted it — so much so that I began to agree with it. All I could think to myself was, if I wore pink I would be signing away all my dreams and ambitions to a life that I could no longer call mine. It was a contract towards becoming a mother, a nurturer and a caretaker to all of humanity. In fine print were vows that romanticized codependent relationships to everyone I would ever meet. In between those lines were possible side effects such as anxiety and depression that would always be disregarded as a hormonal outburst. To be defined by that one single color scared me shitless. It was a color brimmed with a future full of sexual objectification and misogyny — and I wanted nothing to do with it. So I stayed clear of ivorys, magentas and lilacs for the very fear of falling anywhere near the stigma of a housewife when in reality I had already fallen prey to a patriarchal society. A social system that turned not only myself but everyone who has ever identified themselves as a woman away from their feminine power. I thought I was standing for women when all along I stood against them. How could I have let this happen?
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I scrutinized the lack of colors in my wardrobe and in outrage I went on a shopping spree. I started with the cursed pinks. I bought lingerie in rouge, combat boots in fuchsia, and blazers in peach. I have to admit, the moment I looked at myself in the mirror I cringed, and then I laughed for about five minutes straight. I gave one last look and in the words of Joey Tribbiani I said, “How you doin’?” Out came this side of me that I never knew existed. She was this colorful, overly-confident, quirky woman. The more I incorporated different colors to my wardrobe the more I began to uncover different versions of myself — and they were all authentic. I began to see sides of myself that I wouldn’t have discovered if it wasn’t for me stepping out of my comfort zone. As I continue to embellish my wardrobe with shades and hues of different colors I learn more about myself each and every day. And through this journey, the greatest lesson I have learned is that we are these magnificent multidimensional beings, yet we’re so quick to conform to an ideal of who we think we should be rather than allowing ourselves the gift of exploration — and it is a gift. A gift to know our true colors, whatever they might be. So what are you waiting for? Add some color to your wardrobe and see who you find. I’m sure they’re one of a kind.
Photo by Ashley Ferguson
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Photo by Ashley Ferguson Edit by Yadel Torres
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Photo by Federico Martinez
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Photo by Ashley Ferguson
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By Emily Ruiz Grey to me isn’t so much a color as it is a feeling. An awareness of being stuck in an ill-defined situation, and not knowing when it will end. By defining it, it’s at least a start in trying to feel in control of something. Because that definition feels like the opposite of the grey feeling, and wards off at least some of the uncertainty that exists. And that’s life sometimes — it feels hard to grasp and out of your hands. As college students, that’s amplified 100 times. We tend to feel stuck in a mental space in which we don’t know what’s to come (this is a completely normal feeling by the way, but the fast-paced college mentality isn’t helping). In fact, it feeds into it and leads us into a grey area. We get told to have long-term goals and work toward them. They can feel so out of reach sometimes, yet are supposed to make us feel motivated. Our college years are filled with nonstop pressure to become secure with your place in the world. But instead, you couldn’t feel farther from it. You’ve probably felt this before. You’re motivated yet weary. You’re driven to keep going, but the goal seems far and out of reach. You’re kind of just in the middle of it all. And it becomes just as easy to go back as it is to continue moving forward. Just like putting a name to a face, it helps in recognizing the feeling when it starts to take over. Feeling
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Photos by Eric Rowland
grey becomes all too real. Going to college is supposed to lead you somewhere, but it can feel like the most unsure point in our lives. And it’s different for everyone. This uncertainty could start at any point, but until the goal that you’ve been working towards isn’t at least in your view, you’re still subject to everything grey has to offer. But hey, if everything is black and white, where’s the ambition in that? There’s value in not knowing what’s to come, and it makes it that much more exciting. If there’s one thing that is for sure, it’s that the grey area won’t last forever. Stability in the decisions you’ve made will be worth it and you’ll finally be able to pinpoint why you started in the first place. You’ll gain the confidence back and embrace the grey-area. Because in our college years, our goals are what keeps us deciding to keep going, instead of looking back. The grey-area is just a pitstop on the way there.
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Spread Design By Ramesa Ahasan
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Fitting in with the people closest to you is a special type of magic. You understand them, they understand you and everything just works. For “Together,” we were inspired by these friendships and the age-old adage that you become the average of the five people who are closest to you. Blending in isn’t always so bad, especially when you’re blending in with the people you love.
Photos by Riley Karekos
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Photos by Riley Karekos Edit by Yadel Torres
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Photos By Berona Muro
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ByEmily EmilyRuiz Ruiz When Paris Hilton wore a Juicy tracksuit for the first time, it’s safe to assume she didn’t know what she began. And like many other fashion aesthetic icons, they started out with one simple intention: to be themselves. It didn’t matter if anyone else was on the same page or if they even gained respect from their choices. In fact, most didn’t. But, to these pioneers, trying to express what they felt through what they were wearing was not a groundbreaking idea, yet it ended up somewhere along those lines. An identifiable aesthetic shows a coming together of not only similar styles, but characteristics beyond it. In chemistry, there’s a process called synergy. It’s used to describe elements coming together as a whole to produce an effect far greater than if they were alone. If you were to break apart a group, what you’d find is much more than just a fashion sense. You’d find a mix of music, worldviews and attitudes all interacting and coming together to form something more powerful than if they were on their own. You’d find synergy.
Take the goth subculture, for example. It definitely wouldn’t be as popular if it was made up of only one of its defining traits. What makes it particular is a mix of all the things it represents, and to say that someone who wears all black is goth would be to make a superficial assumption. Instead, what you see worn is coupled with their strong attitudes and beliefs. It starts to become complete, and the group we recognize today becomes clearer.
With skaters, it’s also not all just about the clothes. It’s not even about the act of skating itself. Music taste, a certain way of speaking and overall “vibes” join forces to form that synergy described. These elements build upon each other and show us that skater culture is more than what we see, and even what they do. It’s about what this group appreciates that makes the bond amongst them stronger. Skating is just what brings it all together.
Photo on left: Riley Karekos Photos on right: David Cordero
What Paris Hilton did was pave the way with a motive that is all too rare. She was simply being herself, and that caught attention. I’d say that intention is the finishing touch, the final element that brings it all together. Because a group that confidently portrays all it’s made up of is one that will only become stronger — one that will continue to create synergy within and attract others that feel the same way.
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SOCIAL CHAMELEON CONSEQUENCES
Wardrobe Credit Re:Deux Clothing Happy Hippie Vintage Vince Taj
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When we first thought about this theme, there was one thing that almost kept us from using it. This was the fact that people often equate chameleons with social chameleons, aka people who change their personality to fit in and be well-liked. Instead of shying away from this though, we decided to highlight it and show that there are consequences to never being your true self.
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Photo by Ashley Ferguson Photos by Carolina Cabrera
DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? By Aviana Fedele
Well, do you? Whenever we’re thrust into a new environment, we get anxious and want to make the best first impression to be liked by the people already there. Usually, we try to practice how we’re going to introduce ourselves — maybe the night before, staring into a mirror and rehearsing our lines — with the usual “Hi, how are you?” No, that’s too formal. “Hey, what’s up?” The practice continues for the perfect introduction. Humans are social beings, and we ultimately just want love and acceptance from those around us. However, in some instances, people take on the role of a social chameleon. A social chameleon is just what it sounds like. Similar to actual chameleons in the wild and how they change their skin color to blend in with their environment, humans change their personality to blend in with a group. Some people, when in new situations, ultimately change themselves to be liked by others. Social chameleons can be hard to spot due to how seamlessly they blend in. They can be outgoing, like the “life-of-the-party” frat brother at every social event on campus, or the shy and reserved girl at the library with her study group. These people are all around
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us, even within our closest friend groups, and we usually don’t know it. They closely watch and mimic the behaviors and social cues of the group they want to be a part of and hide away the pieces of their personality that don’t fit in with the group’s mentality. To give a better idea of what a social chameleon is, think of it like this: someone is starting their freshman year of college. Before college, they may have been an introverted individual that liked to stay home and watch movies with only a couple of friends — not much of a party person. After becoming acclimated to “college life,” they joined an organization on campus that suited their interests and were having fun being a part of this club. However, they noticed how the other members acted — how extroverted and outgoing they were, constantly going to club socials and parties. This person wanted to fit in with the group, and in order to be liked, they changed their personality and adopted new characteristics. Doing this can result in serious harm to one’s state of mind. Over time, this individual will take on these characteristics as their own as they forget who they were and begin to disassociate from their past self.
Being a social chameleon isn’t the same as someone “changing and growing up.” Instead, it can lead to an entire personality change where someone tries to hide who they are. Simple interests and hobbies that they’ve enjoyed before, as well as particular mannerisms, are masked behind an unequivocal talent to effortlessly blend into any social situation that they could be in. Each passing day in the mindset of a person who is a social chameleon is a day further away from their true and authentic self — a piece of the puzzle of their personality missing. One could end up feeling lost and drowning within themselves because they’re trying so hard on the outside to be a “picture-perfect” image of what they assume others want them to be. It’s okay to want to be accepted by someone, but not at the cost of hiding who you are for the sake of others. Never doubt yourself as an individual — if someone doesn’t like you for who you are, find a new group of friends or a new organization who will accept you, your personality, interests and hobbies. There’s a place out there where you can be authentically yourself.
Photo by Ashley Ferguson
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Photos by Ashley Ferguson
Photo by Carolina Cabrera
A Different Type of
PRESSURE By Maitane Orue
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eer pressure. When this word comes to mind, people’s thoughts usually go to drugs and alcohol, but one topic seems almost taboo to our society: sex. Movies normalize one night stands and dating apps, which are coined as a part of the “college experience.” In my experience, I haven’t had any luck finding a relationship while using dating apps; I’ve only found people who want to have sex and leave. People keep telling me that you’re lucky if your match is still there when you wake up, but I feel like there have to be some who stay. Being one of the last few girls in my friend group who is a virgin, I am constantly reminded that your first time is almost never special, and that it’s best to get it over with. Though my friends say they’re not trying to pressure me, they don’t realize they’re doing it unintentionally. It’s not only our friends pressuring us, but it’s society in general. Being a virgin has such a bad tone to it when it shouldn’t. Having sex is a choice,
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and choosing not to isn’t a bad thing. I remember the first time I told a guy I was a virgin. I never heard back from him. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have said that that early on. Many people are pressured by the idea that being a virgin is thought of as weird, especially in college when it seems like everyone’s not. It seems better to just get it over with than be the odd one out. Everyone has different ways of thinking about sex, which is fine because some people are more comfortable with it than others. For example, my friend’s first time was with a random guy she met when we were out. She felt comfortable doing it and just wanted to get it over with — she doesn’t regret it. She did comment that she wanted to have sex before getting a boyfriend to show him she was more experienced, which is understandable. Everyone is different, and everyone has different opinions.
Photo by Rahema Lubulu
Though it seems like it’s a big deal for girls, guys have a hard time, too. Studies say that boys between the ages of 15-17 feel pressured to have sex due to their male friends. In movies, men are shown that sex shouldn’t be that big of a deal to them. There was one boy I met who was comfortable with the idea of me being a virgin and wanting to wait. There are many people out there like that; it shows that they respect you.
ISN’T A BAD THING”
Since I began college it seems like everyone’s eager to lose their virginity, even me. The thought of it used to scare me, but at times, I think losing it soon would just be better. As the numbers go down for girls who are virgins in my friend group, I feel the pressure mounting on me. “Just go for it,” “Come on, it’s not even that bad,” and “No guy likes a virgin” are constant remarks that I hear from people. I’ve always wanted my first time to be special, and that’s why I’ve chosen to wait.
I’ve never seen it as a bad thing — if anything, I feel more powerful because of it. Guys I’ve talked to have been surprised, and one even made a comment on how weird it was to be in college and still be a virgin. Society pressures us to have sex as teenagers with the first person we date, and tells us that being 20 years old and a virgin isn’t normal. If you don’t feel comfortable, saying no is completely okay. Being a virgin isn’t a bad thing. It’s a decision, and it’s your decision — never forget that.
“BEING A VIRGIN
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IN OUR SKIN
In the final section on our journey to self-discovery, we learn what it means to accept our outward appearances. This section was inspired by the fact that we cannot change our appearance like a chameleon can. Instead, we must learn to love what we have and celebrate the people we are. Quite simply, we must learn to live “In Our Skin.�
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Photo by Ashley Ferguson
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Photo by Ashley Ferguson
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Photo by Ashley Ferguson
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Photo by Laura Herrera
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“I am who I am due to the various books, role models and people who surround me everyday. They influence my style, my sense of humor and how I see everyday life. They are the reason why I’ve become the person I am and they are the reason why I continue to love being that person.” Riya M. “Striving to be a good man defines me — one who asks questions, who listens, who is empathetic, kind and courageous.” Jake W.
“I’m someone who strongly likes to take care of others and be there whenever someone needs me. This year though, I really realized I need to prioritize taking care of myself and being there for me, before I can be there for others.” Natasha M.
“I grew up as such a people-pleaser, but realized pretty early in my adult life it’s not my responsibility to manage what people think of me. My mom told me recently, ‘you do not have to give in because it makes others uncomfortable,’ and I have lived by that since.” Lindsey V.
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“I exist with an open heart that invites the universe into it. I’ve always believed that there is no life without art. I don’t care what I do the rest of my life as long as I get to keep creating. Isa J. “I am a lover of all things creative. I am very determined when it comes to creating, and I don’t fear judgment in my work or anything I do. I put everything out in this world with passion and invention!” Gabriela B. “Even in the face of adversity I always make the conscious choice to educate myself on whatever it is I’m wrestling with. So that I may show up as the better version of myself and in turn show up for others.” Envy V. “My experiences make me who I am. Everything I’ve learned up until his moment has manifested itself in who I am today, the way I lead my life, relationships, work etc. I am learning to love every part of me and every thing that has led me to this moment.” Carolina C.
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