CAN’T HELP MYSELF
ELEVATOR TALKS
XTRATERRESTRIAL
STIRRING THE POT
ME VS. ME
IN VEIN
CRACKING
OVER IT
RUSH
UNDER PRESSURE
OVERGROWN
10 18 28 36 46 54 62 72 80 82 88
STAFF LIST STAFF EIC, Lalo Ambris Creative Director, Isabel Choi
Assistant, Ella Brignoni
Assistant, Alexis Brown Isabella Dabage Emma Edy Morris Jocelyn Campo Angelika Ziemecki Jamie Mandeville Kassidy Saba Tyler Jones Eden Znaty Dalton Lain Olyvia Weber Hannah Smith Katie Hale Emily Carrier Oluwatobiloba (Tobi) Arubuola Ashley Harrop Alex DiCastro Shelby Grason Leah Christie Ellie Wise Lauren Vives
Digital, Megan Mohrmann Assistant, Sophia Poole Assistant, Kate D’Amario Taylor Farscht
Samantha Ortega
Audrey Kramer Priscilla Chierico Lauren Orie Brooke Miller Aria Cendon-Ruisanchez Kaitlyn Perdomo Emma Ostrom Marcela Nieves Megan Bishop Isabella Sugar Carly Wollard
Writing, Jayna O
Editor #1, Noelle Knowlton Editor #2, Isabel Wilder Editor #3, Blake N. Fiadino Editor #4, Cristina Angee Payton Muscato Lauren Butrum Matias Civita Layne Schulte Nikki Cohen Sophia Yunaev Bella Ferretti Lindsey Limbach Isabella Santiago Sophia Ferraro Emily Montarroyos Lucas Zaret Dana Liberto Lucia Villanustre
Caroline Higdon Mishalynn Brown Zara Khan
Lexi Tulowitzki Ellie Amos Sarah Bourloukas Daniella Garcia-Novas Dani Hernandez Shari Ryant
Graphics, Luis Arriaga Assistant, Mallory Reale Lindsay Merrill Kate Fernandez Ana Guardado Reian Beltran Emma Muersch Emily Butler Ava Polaszek Sofie Dericks Sydney Barrow Eva Berggren
Layout, Stella Humberg Ninah Gibson Clara Celedon Chloe Evers Reian Beltran Glenda Holton Celeste Salgado Liabella Bernie
Instagram, Abbey Kent Tori Schlossman Annie Larrea Paige Burrow Alondra Vega Macy Johnson
TikTok, Quentin Mantilla Katiana Redchuk Mia Lopez Emily Lavechia Victoria Cimino Jaida Singleton Taylor Smith Marlowe Mitchell
Photo, Layla Mathews
Clarence Lovett Lila Eaton Sari Kramer Sophia Montoya Daniella Giron Samantha Cohen Caroline Symons Autumn Rose Caroline Schwartz Skylar Edisis Shadaria Jackson Cece Gutman Bella Puleo
Olivia Rodriguez Katrina Oro Kevin Farley Kaylee Sibelle Lalo Ambris Yami Matthew Stember Renee Rivas
Video, RJ Bañez
Assistant, Kevin Farley Joelle Stressler Blake Boyar Mary Tierney Molly DeKraai Carmen Leggett Ella Denny Julia Niles Lily Cosentino Tanner Hirten Cindy Lam
Runway, Aja Soleil Assistant, Maya West Assistant, Liv Tracy Morgan Hooks Jessie Dunn Nicole Jaroscak Bethany Newcomb Brianna Heaney Kaley Dunn Alexa Swecker Jacob Mishelevich
Styling, Marriana Gutierrez Assistant, Sydney Tindall
Merchandise, Katie Kissane Caitlyn Beck Sienna Kelley Marcela Canal Sofia Kunkel Ashley Miner Leah Christie Ashley Kadau Ava Sweeney Charlotte Morgan
Brand Ambassador, Kayla Olivia Saxonis Crooks Events, Taylor Radigan Assistant, Julia Garber
LIST Assistant, Milena Shakhnazaryan
Kate Vinik Jackie Ouellette Emily Ensel
Anna Perez Wiktoria Cascardo Mia Hammer Kaylee Valenzuela Victoria Scriven Brantley Gay Olivia Tveras Lorena Olivo Nadia Murillo Ashley Klein Paulette Rabinowich Andrew Maraio
External, Lindsay Zifrony Nadia Murillo Emma Tapp Melissa Aguiar
Finance, Camila Kassner Assistant: Jordan Kilday
Sales, Brynn Estberg Jewel Lopez Olivia Tveras Isabella Gallucci Megan Castillo Julie Soussan Riley Sousa Alexis Miller Sabrina Pierre
Advertising, Emma Roush Lauren Shoemaker Vanessa Memmo Meghan Hart Isabella Galvanek Alexis Miller Colleen Tracey
Carolina Fabregas Madeleine Guerra Maya Estremadoyro Kate Vinik Charlea Bing Meghan Hart Colleen Tracey Amelia Skoumal Maya Coan Katerina Dardha Sophia Ehrnst Lauren Henry
Beauty, Brynn Lewin Emma Kornatowski Addison Nance Sarah Andrews Jasmyn Garvey Olivia Swanson Samantha Reilly Amanda Oliva
Productions, Vallerie Kolczynski
Ruby Billimoria Samantha Tomasello KellyAnne Correale Jayden Matheny
National Liaison, Amanda Iasiello
Jayden Matheny
Photographer Ella Brignoni
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
As I sit down to write this editor’s letter, I find myself enveloped in a whirlwind of emotions. The
journey from a photographer to the founder of our TikTok, a member of the photoshoot team, and now the Editor-In-Chief of Strike Magazine has been nothing short of exhilarating. It’s a surreal experience, one that fills me with many different feelings—excitement, anticipation, and a healthy dose of nervousness. Our theme for this issue, “Under Pressure,” is a reflection of the emotions that our Creative Director, Isabel Choi, and I have experienced embarking on this new chapter. This theme resonates deeply with us because as we stepped into our roles, we keenly felt the weight of expectation upon us. It’s a celebration of resilience, creativity, and the ability to transform pressure into something beautiful. I am immensely grateful for our vibrant Strike community and supporters who have been our pillars of strength throughout this journey. Your unwavering enthusiasm and support inspire us to push boundaries, challenge norms, and strive for excellence. Strike Magazine wouldn’t be what it is without your passion and dedication, and for that, I am endlessly thankful. I am also immensely grateful to Tabitha Labrato, our former Editor-In-Chief, for believing in me and providing me with the opportunity to step into her shoes. The path she paved was both inspiring and challenging, and I am honored to continue her legacy. I must acknowledge the hard work of my directors and staff, whose commitment and passion have been instrumental in making this issue a reality. To my friends, your unwavering support has been my guiding light. I also want to take a moment to express my gratitude to Isabel Choi, our Creative Director. Her vision, creativity, and tireless dedication have brought our ideas to life, shaping the unique identity of Strike Magazine. Working alongside someone so incredibly talented and passionate has been both an honor and a privilege. As you flip through the pages of this magazine, I hope you feel the energy and passion that went into creating it. “Under Pressure” is not just a theme; it’s a testament to the human spirit’s ability to thrive in the face of challenges. Thank you for being a part of our journey, and here’s to embracing the pressure and turning it into something extraordinary.
With heartfelt gratitude, Strike Out,
Lalo Ambris Editor-in-Chief
Dear Strike, When I first moved to Tallahassee, I felt lost, missing an outlet for my creativity or a community that I could immerse myself in. Finding an artistic community was my dream. Overwhelmed by business classes and football games, I thought my dream was lost– a hobby I would keep if I had the time. Luckily, I met someone exceptional who introduced me to the realm of Tallahassee creatives. In the fall of my first year, I modeled in Strike Issue 10. Seeing the directors and staffers work together to create such a beautiful, memorable shoot reignited my love for creating. I then applied to the digital team, which soon became the highlight of my weekends. I couldn’t get enough of what Strike had to offer. I wanted to sleep, eat, and breathe shoots. From there, I found myself the next Digital Director. Unaware of what to expect, every moment transcended my anticipations. I am so grateful for my amazing digital team and assistants, Brianna Bascle and Megan Mohrman, who believed in me and gave me confidence in my abilities to go further. With this, I am eternally grateful and honored to have been selected by our past executives, Tabitha Labrato and Abby Marcil, to be this year’s Creative Director. Stepping into this role has been one of the most life-changing and rewarding moments of my existence. Strike has become my entire life, and I wouldn’t trade all of the sleepless nights for the world. When brainstorming the theme for this issue, it was essential to Lalo and I that it reflected our emotions, personal lives, style, and what stepping into these roles meant to us. There was an immense amount of pressure to fill the shoes of the past executives and prove what we were capable of. My goal was to strengthen the community of Tallahassee creatives by producing something we could all be proud of. There was no better word to describe my and Lalo’s disposition than pressured. Thus, the theme of “Under Pressure” was formed. Since then, everything has fallen into place. Issue 14 has been unforgettably ours. All of those who have helped along the way have shown up and shown out with incredible talent and drive. That is all I could have ever asked for. I want to start by giving a big massive thank you to my Shoot team for all the energy, enthusiasm, love, concepts, road trips, and support. I can’t express how special it has been to work with you on my first print issue. The ideas that brought Issue 14 to life would not have been possible without you. Thank you to my Creative Director Assistants, Ella Brignoni and Alexis Brown. Your work ethic, creativity, leadership, and friendship have left an everlasting impression. Leading this shoot team has only been possible with the help and support I have received from you both. Thank you for keeping me sane and providing me with constant joy and laughter. Retreat soon? Thank you to all the creative teams and directors I have had the pleasure of collaborating with this semester: Styling, Photography, Videography, TikTok, Graphics, Layout, Beauty, and Writing. It has been a long and wild ride, but the memories and bonds I have built with many of you are why all the work is worthwhile. I also want to thank my friends, family, and girlfriend for being patient and understanding when I am MIA during a shoot or in back-toback meetings. You constantly reinforce my confidence in being able to do what I do and are my biggest cheerleaders. Thank you to my forever muse, Aja Soleil. You were my first-ever model and truly an inspiration to me. Your beauty, charm, intelligence, kindness, and friendship are inspiring. Choosing who would be the cover of my first issue was a no-brainer. I can’t wait to see you on Fashion Week runways and billboards one day. Thank you to Lalo Ambris, our Editor-in-Chief, and my best friend, for being my partner throughout this journey. I would only be able to be Creative Director with you. Our love for this magazine has strengthened our friendship. There are no limits to what we can create together. I am so proud of the way you have led this magazine. Thank you for always lightening the mood, giving us hope, and making us laugh constantly. Thank you, Strike, for being my family and home. I have found purpose through you, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I have left pieces of my mind, heart, and soul within this issue. I hope all of you can find a piece of yourself in it, too. Strike out,
Isabel Choi, Creative Director
Photographer Kevin Farley
IF ART IMITATES LIFE, THEN WHAT BECOMES OF US WHEN WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL AND EXPERIENCED EVERYTHING?
Director Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Alexis Brown Shoot Staffers Jamie Mandeville, Leah Christie, Lauren Vives, Shelby Grason, Jocelyn Campo Dress Made by Marriana Gutierrez Beauty Sarah Andrews Nails Jazmin Ashley Model Ella Brignoni Photographer Katrina Oro Videographers Kevin Farley, RJ Bañez Layout Chloe Evers Writer Blake Fiadino Editor Jayna O
If art imitates life, then what becomes of us when we have seen it all and experienced everything? When the inkwell of inspiration runs dry and artists find themselves grasping for a new story to tell, a blank canvas to paint, a fresh song to sing? We create it then, a new life that will provide perspective into something never yet told before. As artists and creatives, our worth is tied to what we can produce, and when our production slows or our work just does not seem to be enough, there must be something wrong with the innate way in which we live our lives. We build ourselves up on praise and validation for the beauty we bring into this world — and this makes the craft feel important, it makes us important, at least for the brief moments we see the eyes of others flicker with something upon seeing our work. And then we die out. After we pour out our hearts of our recent inspirations and muses, once we finalize our ideas through whatever medium our hands, memories, and eyes prefer, there seems to be a bitter lack in our lives that was temporarily taken up by our latest project, our latest love. So we must fill it. This is the trade secret, now listen closely: we then become obsessed. Obsessed with what we will produce next or how we will be able to touch the hearts and minds of consumers who have an endless catalog of art and media at their disposal. Obsessed with how we can experience a life that will graciously give us stories to create art worthy enough to breathe life into. This, more often than not, will turn to chasing an escape — finding the means to quiet the mind saying that you are worthless if you are not making, searching for a way to alter one’s perception to find some sort of nuanced outlook that will produce overdue originality. A sacrifice of what makes our lived experiences into art, our clear-headed minds creating something physical out of the intangible, is made. We bombard ourselves with what we know is harmful and detrimental to us because it will curate an emotion so strong that there will be nothing left to do but create from it. Always the giver, never the muse. What cost are we willing to pay to be remembered for our art, which is our purpose after all? At what point is this cycle of obsession to put ourselves through pain, sleepless nights, and emotional turmoil to turn out work considered self-mutilation? If art imitates life, what a crowded, messy life we live.
ELEVATOR talks
“
When you model, they always want to put you in a category. I’m so tired of the categorizing.
embrace the un
conventional “I remember the first dress I tried on did not fit. It was not zipping up and I started stressing out.” She was filled with insecurity and memories floating to the surface of clothes not fitting her in the past. “When I came down the stairs and let them know that it wasn’t fitting, they all made a face and it was a face of disgust. That did not make me feel good.” The nightmare of this shoot was far from over. After finding a dress that fit, Tobi went off to hair and makeup. “The person that did my makeup used white setting powder all over my face and caked it on.” Tobi’s skin no longer matched the rest of her body. “I remember crying and there being streaks of tears in my makeup.” She found baby wipes at the studio and removed the base of her makeup, but the emotional damage couldn’t be wiped away as easily. “It made me feel some type of way because I’m obviously darker skinned,” she explains. “I would have really loved for the makeup artist to have been a person of color or know how to work with people of color.” In an industry centered around appearances, jealousy, and comparison tend to thrive. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” Tobi says. “No matter how hard I work, I’m always comparing myself to these non-POC models because they fit the beauty standard, and I feel like I have to work twice as hard to be perceived as beautiful.” Tobi feels a great deal of pressure when she’s in front of the camera. As a model, it’s her job to execute an intangible concept living in someone else’s head. “Every single modeling job I’ve had I’ve been pretty nervous for… you really want to give your everything.” Ultimately Tobi’s biggest fear is the photographers and editors not appreciating the work she’s done. “When you’re in front of a camera you have to push [your insecurities] to the back of your head because it will show in the pictures.” Tobi explains that modeling is a “mind game” in which you need to “gaslight yourself into thinking you are the best of the best.” Tobi relies on the mantra “fake it until you make it.” “You can be in a studio surrounded by people who are hyping you up but if you don’t believe that you’re looking good and that you’re beautiful and serving those photos will not come out good.” Despite the stress of the job, Tobi thoroughly enjoys what she does and finds the process of executing someone else’s vision to be incredibly rewarding. She is redefining the definition of a model and breaking free from the confines and stereotypes associated with the industry today. “I really want people to work on getting rid of the automatic image that comes to your head when you think of a model,” she said. “There is no clear-cut defined model. Anyone can be a model.” Tobi, despite being a model, struggles with internalized pressure stemming from anxiety and insecurity. “Back in the day, I wouldn’t even post on Instagram.” Modeling gave Tobi the confidence she was lacking. Her biggest barrier for a long time was not being able to see herself as beautiful. “Being a darker skinned person, we constantly are being masculinized.”
As hard as Tobi works to redefine modeling, modeling has redefined the meaning of beauty for Tobi. “I find myself caring less and wearing my natural hair out way more,” she explained. “I can still be beautiful with my short hair that’s stereotypically what society deems as masculine.” Tobi described her experience as a “worthwhile struggle.” “I’m really thankful for the FSU magazines for helping my self-esteem. They made me feel like anyone could model.” For anyone who feels like they may not necessarily fit the stereotype of a model, Tobi offers this piece of advice, “You may not see it, and it may not be your typical conventional beauty, but everyone has beauty to them.” director Isabel Choi shoot assistant Alexis Brown shoot staffers Eden Znaty, Tyler Jones, Dalton Lain, Tobi Arubuola, Ashley Harrop styling Marriana Gutierrez, Sydney Tindall, Skylar Edisis, Isabel Choi, Samantha Cohen, Shadaria Jackson Beauty Amanda Olivia nails Jazmin Ashley MODELS Tobi Arubuola, Cameron O’Brien, Ellie Wise photographer Olivia Rodriguez videographers Molly Dekraai, Mary Tierney, Joelle Stressler writer Layne Schulte Editors Cristina Angee, Jayna O LAYOUT Clara Celedon
Director Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Alexis Brown Shoot Staffers Eden Znaty, Tyler Jones, Dalton Lain, Tobi Arubuola, Ashley Harrop Photographer Milena Shakhnazaryan Videographers Tanner Hirten, Carmen Leggett, Cindy Lam TikTok Victoria Cimino
Layout Liabella Bernie
Stylists Dalton Lain, Isabel Choi Beauty Emma Kornatowski, Amanda Oliva Nails Jazmin Ashley
Model Dylan Garcia
Dalton: Let’s have a conversation about this shoot and the inspiration behind it. When we came up with this concept after the theme “Under Pressure” dropped, I knew you were the perfect person for this shoot. What does this shoot mean to you? Dylan: For me, this shoot means visibility in a city that lacks it for trans individuals, especially at a time where the only visibility is out of reach because it only regards legislation or the media’s version of what it means for trans people to undergo transitioning or just live in this country. There’s definitely a discrepancy between the amount of media coverage trans issues get, whether positive or negative, versus a genuine connection someone has with a trans person on a personal basis. Dalton: Can we dive deeper into a genuine connection you’ve had with a group of friends or a community you interact with on a personal basis? Dylan: DJ’ing is literally a trans sport. In Orlando, where I am from, I’ve met, like, 5 trans girls that all DJ in the queer underground scene, and even though I am still really early into my transition, they have helped me navigate so much through music and transitioning. When I came back to Tallahassee, I carried a lot of that with me with the raves I helped curate with you and Lola. Dalton: I love what we have created here in a place where the general scene has lacked spaces that cater to marginalized identities, much less run by them. What do you think is special or important about the events we throw? Dylan: I love that we’ve had the ability to curate events where people, especially queer people, feel comfortable expressing themselves to their fullest without fear of judgment or repercussions in addition to having people that they can identify with on the decks, playing tracks that come directly out of our community. Dalton: Exactly. Who is your biggest music inspiration? Dylan: I would say some of my inspirations, not only with music but just in general, are Arca, SOPHIE, and Villano Antillano. They are all trans and two of them are Latina. They’ve all been pioneers in their respective genres and industries, both in sound and representation for the dolls. Arca’s work specifically means a lot to me because of the intersections of having a trans identity as well as a Latina identity, which has allowed me to fully understand all aspects of myself and the identities I carry. Dalton: How did I guess that Arca was gonna be on that list? Dylan: *laughs* you already know! Dalton: What has being in Tallahassee taught you? Dylan: Damn…It has taught me to be independent and, not in a lonely way, but you need to be fine being by yourself because there isn’t the most diverse crowd here and there are not many people you can heavily identify with while transitioning. So you need to learn to navigate different situations by yourself which can be hard at times. But this showed me how important community is, because when in the unusual circumstance where I truly identify with people I have met here, it has taught me so much. But if there was no community to be found to, I would at least attempt to make one. Dalton: I think this response is the real reason I really wanted to push this shoot and concept with you. Being by your side through this process in Tallahassee has made me love you more and more each day. Interviewer Dalton Lain Editor Jayna O
Barring those who have previous experiences within the food industry, one would never know that the head chef of their favorite establishment burnt the flesh of their forearm while making someone’s entrée or that the prep cook has been on their feet for over 12 hours, praying not to drip sweat and ruin his tedious slicing. Similarly, people who haven’t worked in the fashion sphere would have no idea that trend forecasters spend countless hours interpreting data to determine styles several years in advance or that the designer of their coveted pair of jeans slaved over their table and designs for days to create the prototype for this customer’s eventual purchase and wear. As consumers, we sit and reap the benefits of an experience – whether it be enjoying a fancy meal or sporting a luxurious pair of shoes – that has been strictly catered to our needs; and if you did come to face the environments that these products came to be, you would feel incredibly sympathetic to the plights of those seeking success in such intense industries. When it comes to working in the restaurant world or fashion sphere, there is one important rule: if you can’t handle the heat, then get out of the kitchen. Few thrills in life can compare to the adrenaline rush of working in the restaurant business or the fashion industry. Despite the parallels seeming haphazard at best, these fast-paced realms involve passionate creatives who are often overworked and underpaid. Numerous hours and large amounts of money are channeled into the creation of a marketable good or product for people worldwide to enjoy. Chefs and sous-chefs dedicate their lives to feeding the masses something that sparks joy, while designers and stylists remain committed to creating wearable, living art. While these realms can be incredibly alluring to vwide-eyed optimists, these ever-evolving industries employ millions of people – making it just as easy to get a job as it is to be replaced. In a pressure-filled work environment, such as these, each employee strives to outdo their competitors, in the hopes of maintaining their place within their company.
Outside of the palpably tense and adrenaline-inducing atmospheres in these workplaces, the two industries rely heavily on workers who can not only succeed creatively on their own, but also work well in a team. Before plating a dish, a Michelin-starred kitchen brigade will often have each member contribute – so, regardless of whether someone is the Chef de Cuisine or the prep cook, every role is essential. Even though each member is mainly focused on their assigned task, they must pay great attention to detail and anticipate the needs of their peers. When it comes to putting on a runway show, every model, makeup artist, hair stylist, stage director, and designer has an individualized role; however, if one person is off, it can destroy the integrity of the production. These are the careers that Type A personalities can thrive in, as lighting and choreography are planned to a T. In these fields, the stakes are incredibly high – even if you are the most talented person in the room, no one remains safe from the chopping block. To the average consumer, the restaurant business and the fashion world are realms of beauty and ample opportunity. Every entrée, roasted vegetable, or garnish is meticulously arranged to highlight the rich flavors within a dish; And each predetermined trend or handmade article of clothing simply serves as the crucial ingredient for creating an influential design or a jaw-
dropping final look. For those who don’t connect with these industries, the restaurant business and the fashion world seem frivolous, but to those whose hearts they hold, cuisine and couture serve as art that makes life worth living.
Director: Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant: Ella Brignoni Shoot Staffers: Ellie Wise, Hannah Smith, Angelika Ziemecki, Emma Edy Morris, Emily Carrier
Stylists Marriana Gutierrez, Sydney Tindall, Shadaria Jackson, Skylar Edisis White Button down Made by Marriana Gutierrez Beauty Amanda Olivia Nails Jazmin Ashley
Model(s): Asia Boyd, Malachi Taylor Photographer Matthew Stember Videographers Blake Boyar, Lily Cosentino TikTok Victoria Cimino Layout Reian Beltran Writer Isabel Wilder Editor Jayna O
“Your body is a temple.” A developmental years, it can leave not just for her, but for you. To do the durable structure to be cherished and individuals with difficulty forming things she can never do. taken care of, to be appreciated and relationships later in life and stunts They say time heals everything, but it celebrated. But what happens when emotional maturation. When emotional doesn’t. It’s not some magic wand that that temple undergoes a traumatic bonds formed early in life are damaged, waves away every ounce of pain inflicted experience? When the foundation falters, attachment issues can manifest on you. It’s during that time you take do the cracks simply mend, or will sand themselves in the years that follow. charge. The time when you felt like you leak through each crevice for as long These issues may appear in the form were the smallest person in the world as it stands, blurring the lines between of finding yourself unsure of how to washed away because you took the time what’s composed and what’s at risk of respond when someone extends their to heal. You surrounded yourself with faltering away? Trauma uniquely affects hand for you to hold, or how that fight like-minded people. People who listened our bodies, causing both psychological with your mother from eighth grade will to you when you were at your lowest. and physiological consequences that can always linger in your thoughts each time People who love you unconditionally. leave people with underlying stress and you fold the linens. You went to therapy, which helped guide discomfort for years. They say time heals everything. Time you to overcome what happened. To What exactly happens when the body simply allows us to adjust to the pain no longer live in that “fight or flight” experiences trauma? When high-stress we are dealt, and it allows us to grow mentality. As time went on and you events occur, such as a car accident, from the trauma we’ve endured. A grew as a person, you became clean of an assault, or anything in between, it heartbreak so profound that it felt like what happened. It may pop into your creates a high-stakes, “fight or flight” the world was caving in didn’t just go head occasionally, but you realize it response in our brains. This response away because a year had passed. It doesn’t define you. All that trauma you is an instinctual reaction to danger, as took time to grow and learn from what endured didn’t go away, but it did make the body is preparing itself for survival. happened, to change into who you are you stronger. With time, you healed If this response is not mitigated, the today. The emotional scars from when everything. You are the master of your amygdala may end up in a state of high you were assaulted by someone you own life and destiny. cortisol, which can manifest itself in a trusted didn’t go away because two years number of symptoms, such as trouble had passed. In those two years, sleeping, anxiety, brain fog, memory you’ve grown as a woman; a woman problems, and even disassociation. who knows it’s not her fault, a woman These high cortisol levels are the body’s who is much stronger. The pangs of grief method of self-preservation, but with you first experienced when you received this comes the constant anticipation of that devastating phone call haven’t gone another similar traumatic event. It can be away because three years have passed. It hard for individuals to live fulfilling lives still happened, and every day you think while battling the effects of trauma due about where she might be or who she to the potential severity and longevity of might have been if it didn’t happen—but these symptoms. it did. With time, you’ve grown to live When trauma occurs in crucial without the fear of the unknown. To live,
Everyone has heard the saying, “You are your own worst critic.” In an age where social media is so prominent, we tend to hold ourselves to unrealistic standards in appearance, grades, love life, and popularity. We overthink and tell ourselves that we aren’t doing enough. Comparing yourself to others or your past self creates an outlet that delves deep into depression. These negative thoughts can spiral into self-sabotage, isolation, and self-deprecation, amplifying the belief that you are unworthy. Although nothing is wrong with wanting to better yourself, why act so harshly? Setting goals and aspirations can be motivating, but convincing yourself you will never achieve those goals will ensure that you won’t. The hardest part of self-help is becoming aware of your self-sabotaging tendencies. It takes strength to embrace positive introspection, reflect upon self-critical habits, and challenge yourself to overcome them. Start by asking yourself if it’s worth ruining something that is good for you. Instead of having a narrow view of yourself, look at the bigger picture. You will realize that this negative self-talk is all in your head. By recognizing self-criticism and how harsh you are on yourself, you will want to improve. Aim for empowerment by turning what you long for and never thought was achievable into your reality. How we react to criticism is key to self-confidence, as we learn to understand and compartmentalize our emotions as opposed to becoming them. Imposter syndrome can be a nasty obstacle to deal with, doubting our intellect and skills once we’ve reached the goals we deservingly achieved. We tend to forget to uplift ourselves the way we would a friend, sabotaging our future by quitting prematurely rather than reassuring and affirming our well-deserved successes. Instead of dissecting yourself and your worth, dissect the situation you’re experiencing and recognize why it’s making you feel doubtful about your abilities. Inevitably, there will be risks and reasons why you shouldn’t do something; however, there are a hundred more reasons why you should. While we quickly anticipate the bad, we forget that good outcomes must also be considered. Believing in yourself will give you that necessary push to meet your full potential despite the discomfort you may endure as you attempt to understand your emotions and analyze possible outcomes. Loving yourself and assuming the role of your most significant support system will open doors to exactly where you deserve to be.
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out
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Writers Nikki Cohen, Lindsey Limbach Editors Noelle Knowlton, Blake N. Fiadino, Jayna O Layout Clara Celedon
Director Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Ella Brignoni Shoot Staffers Kassidy Saba, Alex DiCastro, Isabella Dabage, Olyvia Weber, Katie Hale Stylists Marriana Gutierrez, Sydney Tindall Beauty Jasmyn Garvey Models Fabianna and Julianna Nicholson Photographer Kevin Farley Videographers Mary Tierney, Joelle Stressler TikTok Katiana Redchuk
YOU’RE GOING TO DIE YOU’RE GOING TO DIE YOU’RE GOING TO F*CKING DIE!!!! DON’T MAKE RISKY DECISIONS. DON’T SAY THE WRONG THING. DON’T ASSOCIATE WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE. DON’T DRAW TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO YOURSELF. DON’T UPSET ANYONE, EVER. DON’T MAKE EVERYONE HATE YOU. DON’T RUIN YOUR LIFE. DON’T F*CKING DIE!!! This not-so-little voice inside my head follows me everywhere. It slips into every thought. It dictates every step. It suffocates every breath. It consumes me. I tread through life painfully carefully, because I’m afraid of all the ‘what-if’s. The not-so-little voice in my head always says: ‘What if?’ WHAT IF THEY JUDGE YOU, HATE YOU, AND REJECT YOU? WHAT IF YOU’RE NOT PRETTY ENOUGH, SMART ENOUGH, TALENTED ENOUGH, OR GOOD ENOUGH? WHAT IF YOU FAIL AT EVERYTHING YOU DO? WHAT IF YOU RUIN YOUR LIFE? I am paralyzed by fear. It spreads through my body like the blood running through my veins. There’s another little voice in my head, though. It speaks very quietly, almost in a whisper: But doesn’t the ADRENALINE of fear make you feel most alive? One day, sitting in my room consumed by my fears, I decide it’s time to change. I’m sick of holding myself back.
I’m getting increasingly curious about the world around me, and I can’t sit around to watch it pass me by. Little by little, I start doing things I really want to do. Even though they terrify me. With my hands shaking, I strum the strings of a guitar for the first time. With my teeth chattering, I introduce myself to new people. With sweat coating my skin, I start dressing in styles I’ve always liked. With my heart pounding, I go on my first date. With blood rushing through my veins, I take more risks, feed my curiosities, explore taboos, question authority, break rules, rebel against norms, and soak in all the freedom of youth. With my mind racing, I accept an admission offer to a university eight hours away from home. The not-so-little voice of my anxiety follows me to my life at university. It follows me everywhere; it’s not something that can ever fully go away. Instead of running from my fears, though, I’ve learned to embrace them. I’ve realized the not-so-little voice is trying to protect me, but it doesn’t have to control me. Inevitable danger and uncertainty is terrifying, but it can also be thrilling. SO WHAT IF NOT EVERYONE LIKES OR APPROVES OF YOU? SO WHAT IF NOT EVERYTHING YOU DO IS PERFECT? SO WHAT IF OTHER PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR LIFE? IT’S YOURS TO LIVE.
Stress can be an overwhelming, engulfing, and inescapable feeling. While all of us have different stress thresholds, once we reach our limit, the debilitating amount of pressure can overpower us. One of the more challenging aspects is having to always find the strength to not completely shut down. It’s exhausting. Sometimes all you want to do is let go and fall. It’s like a shadow that’s always creeping around with you. Subconsciously, you know it’s there, but its presence grows and grows until it’s at the forefront of your mind. Yet, you have to pretend as if it isn’t there. This becomes a constant battle to maintain your outer image when all you want to do is falter, even if just for a moment of relief. Being submerged in this constant state of exhaustion makes you feel trapped in your own mind, unable to know when the pressure will just be a shadow or an inescapable cloud. It’s humbling in a sense because we realize how delicate the mind can be. However, there is strength and even power in recognizing, on the verge of mental collapse, that we sometimes need to allow ourselves to fall to rise again. A shift in mentality that kills our toxic mindsets while giving life to a new perspective A rebirth. Don’t be ashamed when you feel lost or overwhelmed. It’s what makes us human, to experience these emotions. While it may seem as if the fall is never-ending, there is always an end. The world is ever-changing, and so are you. We all experience hardships, but learning from them is a testament to our resiliency. While our problems may seem daunting and too lofty to overcome, you don’t need to solve everything at once; instead, figure out how to make today better than yesterday. Even the smallest steps forward are progress. Growth is linear, and your journey should not look the same as those around you. Rather than subjecting yourself to comparisons and competition, look at how those you admire can inspire you. Lean on them and go up from there. Everything will pass with time, as long as you’re here and navigating another day. Life doesn’t need to be about having the most accomplishments or getting the most done, but instead living for yourself and creating a version of yourself that you can be proud of. Don’t follow anyone else’s versions of success; create your own.
Director Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Ella Brignoni Shoot Staffers Kassidy Saba, Alex DiCastro, Isabella Dabage, Olyvia Weber, Katie Hale Stylists Marriana Gutierrez, Sydney Tindall, Bella Puleo, Skylar Edisis Beauty Olivia Swanson Nails Jazmin Ashley
Model Ariel Lyden Photographer Layla Mathews Videographers RJ Bañez, Carmen Leggett Layout Glenda Holton Writer Cristina Angee Editors Noelle Knowlton, Blake Fiadino, & Jayna O
Director Isabel Choi
Shoot Assistant Ella Brignoni
Photographer Lalo Ambris
CR
RACKING
CRACKING I’m standing in the shower, empty. My body is stuck; my eyes are glued to the floor. Numbly, I watch the water droplets slip off my skin, like every cell of my body is crying. But I’m sick of this; I no longer wish to deny my pain. No longer. The shower water is rain, my tears droplets from heaven, and they blend seamlessly into one another. I let out my sorrow in a downpour. I feel lighter in this release, like I’m drifting. Unburdened at last. Now I can face the pressure I have endured; I can confront everything that has weighed down upon me like boulders on my back. I feel as though I’m walking through a
I CAN CONFRONT EVERYTHING THAT HAS WEIGHED DOWN UPON ME LIKE BOULDERS ON MY BACK. canyon, moving freely between the great rocks. I’ve shaken off their weight at last. The black sky above me releases a thousand worries into a torrent of tears. My outstretched hand brushing against the rocks,
I decide I will never again deny the pressure I have been through. Thunder cracks; lightning rages through my body. But the release is electricity. Walking through this canyon, I am more than human now. I am a part of the storm. Though at first the cold shocks my skin, I grow stronger the longer I stay here, and the meltdown gives power to my once-vacant form. I breathe in the cold of the storm with gasps of truth. I seemed to have forgotten how the cold can truly replenish me. Its kisses, so sweet and inviting, remind me what it’s like to live a life unburdened. The water rolls off of me, each droplet carrying away the weight of the past. But this time, I bathe in it. I notice the canyon surrounding me; its deep cracks should remind me of the pain, instead, it stirs a powerful determination inside of me. Once the sky clears and the rain fades, leaving a sense of acceptance within me, the light begins to peek in. I’m overwhelmed with the brilliance of the world, yet equally captivated. The light seems so much brighter when all I’ve known is darkness. A strange thing occurs… my body starts to glow as if I’ve become a vessel for the light I once longed for. It shoots out of every pore in my skin, reflecting and refracting from all angles, a testament to the transformation occurring inside of me. I stand there, an illuminating entity; every crushing thought, every scar etched as if by jagged
rocks, all the suffocating pressure now radiating like the most precious of gemstones. Those rocks threatened to bury me under, but just like a diamond forged deep within the Earth’s core, I emerge unbreakable and more luminous than ever. I realize now that though the pressure was hard to take, it is
I EMERGE UNBREAKABLE AND MORE LUMINOUS THAN EVER.
in its hands that I am meticulously sculpted and shaped into the brilliant diamond I am now.
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Shoot Staffers Ellie Wise, Hannah Smith, Angelika Ziemecki, Emma Edy Morris, Emily Carrier Stylist Marriana Gutierrez, Sophia Montoya, Skylar Edisis, Isabel Choi Blue Dress by Marriana Gutierrez Beauty Addison Nance, Sarah Andrews Nails Jazmin Ashley Model(s) Alexis Brown, Martina Schmied, Carly Collins TikTok Victoria Cimino Videographers Joelle Stressler, Mary Tierney, Tanner Hirten, RJ Bañez Layout Chloe Evers Writers Isabella Santiago, Ellie Amos Editors Cristina Angee, Isabel Wilder, Jayna O
Model: Kyle Bowman Photographer: Matthew Stember
Model(s) Leanna Overbeck, Mazzy Flint, Abigail Mckane, Payne Moore, Joshua Echevarria Photographer Yami Videographers Lily Cosentino, Cindy Lam, Ella Denny Layout Ninah Gibson
Director Lalo Ambris, Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Ella Brignoni Stylists Marriana Gutierrez, Sydney Tindall, Skylar Edisis, Bella Puleo, Shadaria Jackson, Daniella Giron Beauty Amanda Olivia
Director Lalo Ambris, Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Alexis Brown Beauty Brynn Lewin, Addison Nance, Emma Kornatowski, Jasmyn Garvey, Samantha Reilly Models Luca Tresoldi, Carly Woll, Kimasia Ayers, Emmett Higgins, Lisa Kolley Photographer Lalo Ambris Videographers Carmen Leggett, Ella Denny Tiktok Katiana Redchuk Layout Glenda Holton Writers Bella Ferretti, Mishalynn Brown Editors Noelle Knowlton, Blake Fiadino, & Jayna O
Dress Made By Marriana Gutierrez Beauty Brynn Lewin Nails Jazmin Ashley
Director Lalo Ambris, Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Alexis Brown & Ella Brignoni Model Aja Soleil Photographer Layla Mathews
I’m standing in the shower, empty. each droplet carrying away the weight My body is stuck; my eyes are glued of the past. But this time, I bathe in it. to the floor. Numbly, I watch the I notice the canyon surrounding me; water droplets slip off my skin, like its deep cracks should remind me of every cell of my body is crying. But the pain, instead, it stirs a powerful I’m sick of this; I no longer wish to determination inside of me. Once deny my pain. No longer. The shower the sky clears and the rain fades, water is rain, my tears droplets from leaving a sense of acceptance within heaven, and they blend seamlessly me, the light begins to peek in. I’m into one another. I let out my sorrow overwhelmed with the brilliance of in a downpour. I feel lighter in this the world, yet equally captivated. The release, like I’m drifting. Unburdened light seems so much brighter when at last. Now I can face the pressure all I’ve known is darkness. A strange I have endured; I can confront thing occurs… my body starts to everything that has weighed down glow as if I’ve become a vessel for upon me like boulders on my back. the light I once longed for. It shoots I feel as though I’m walking through out of every pore in my skin, reflecting a canyon, moving freely between and refracting from all angles, a the great rocks. I’ve shaken off their testament to the transformation weight at last. The black sky above occurring inside of me. I stand there, me releases a thousand worries into a an illuminating entity; every crushing torrent of tears. My outstretched hand thought, every scar etched as if by brushing against the rocks, I decide jagged rocks, all the suffocating I will never again deny the pressure I pressure now radiating like the most have been through. Thunder cracks; precious of gemstones. Those rocks lightning rages through my body. threatened to bury me under, but just But the release is electricity. Walking like a diamond forged deep within the through this canyon, I am more than Earth’s core, I emerge unbreakable human now. I am a part of the storm. and more luminous than ever. I realize Though at first the cold shocks my now that though the pressure was skin, I grow stronger the longer I stay hard to take, it is in its hands that I here, and the meltdown gives power am meticulously sculpted and shaped to my once-vacant form. I breathe in into the brilliant diamond I am now. the cold of the storm with gasps of truth. I seemed to have forgotten how the cold can truly replenish me. Its kisses, so sweet and inviting, remind me what it’s like to live a life unburdened. The water rolls off of me,
UN DER PRESSU RE
Videographer RJ Bañez TikTok Quentin Mantilla Layout Stella Humberg Writing Isabella Santiago, Ellie Amos
Director Isabel Choi Shoot Assistant Alexis Brown Shoot Staffers Jamie Mandeville, Lauren Vives, Shelby Grason, Jocelyn Campo, Leah Christie Styling Isabel Choi, Marriana Guiterrez, Sydney Tindall, Lalo Ambris, Shadaria Jackson Beauty Olivia Swanson, Amanda Oliva Model(s): Rilan Jensen, Spencer Nick, Will Nelson, Jayden Matheny Photographer Renee Rivas Videographers Ella Denny, Blake Boyar TikTok Emily Lavechia Layout Ninah Gibson Writers Matias Civita, Daniella Garcia-Novas Editors Cristina Angee, Blake Fiadino, Jayna O
World On Fire
Global warming is the greatest threat shame while we drive our gas-powered organization’s products or guidelines to humanity right now. The devices cars to work or school or accidentally are environmentally friendly. Several we use every day, like motor vehicles leave the lights on at home when we large corporations have been found to and electricity, are generating copious leave the house. This pressure each of use greenwashing in their marketing amounts of carbon dioxide and other us individually feels to save the planet is techniques. In 2015, Volkswagen was air pollutants that get trapped in Earth’s both figuratively and literally suffocating. caught cheating emission tests by atmosphere. These pollutants absorb But there is a small, yet powerful group marketing their diesel cars as much heat from the Sun and cause the Earth of people who aren’t doing this: large less polluting than they actually were. to get increasingly warmer, resulting in corporations and their owners. According This resulted in a series of lawsuits and a new record for the highest recorded to a study by the National Resources fines that resulted in a major loss for temperature being set each year. Due Defense Council, about 100 different the company. However, companies do to this, the polar ice caps are melting, energy companies have been responsible not always receive consequences for causing the sea level to rise, which will for 71% of emissions of greenhouse gases their dishonesty. In most cases, when eventually result in places like the state since climate change was discovered. It companies are caught using methods of Florida going completely underwater, also doesn’t help that the ultra-wealthy of greenwashing, their PR team will deeming it uninhabitable. Fossil fuels, enjoy the luxuries of private flights using find ways to divert attention by “fixing” material found in the Earth’s crust small jets for short distances, emitting the problem with a solution that is not created by decomposed animals and up to fourteen times more pollutants necessarily any more environmentally plants, are what emit “greenhouse gases”. than commercial airlines per passenger. friendly. For example, Starbucks said Most motor vehicles are powered by While they only make up about 1% of our they aimed to reduce the use of plastic gasoline, a fossil fuel. When fossil fuels society, they produce the most pollutants straws by creating a sippy lid, however, are used by vehicles and other forms of out of all of us. this lid was found to contain more electricity, carbon dioxide is released into In an attempt to divert attention plastic than the previous straw-lid the atmosphere. Because of this, we are away from their harmful practices, combination. The list goes on and on of told to conserve electricity and reduce companies and corporations employ corporations who have manipulated the our energy output by driving hybrid the use of greenwashing tactics. public into believing their products are or fully electric cars, avoiding planes Greenwashing, contrary to what it more environmentally friendly than they and cruise ships, recycling, and using may sound like, is not a process of actually are, posing a huge obstacle to biodegradable materials such as paper environmentally friendly washing tackling climate change. instead of plastic—adding a new aspect of techniques. Rather, it is a deceitful By using vague wording such as anxiety to our already hectic lives. marketing technique implemented by “green” or “eco-friendly”, which can be We feel a slight bit of PR firms to persuade the public that an easily misinterpreted, several companies
get away with misleading the public into believing they are environmentally friendly. Loose claims of being “on track” to reducing pollution or claiming they “will” begin to implement sustainable practices can easily convince the public that actions are being taken by these companies to truly become “greener”. But until there is viable proof, these are just words. The implementation of greenwashing techniques portrays false solutions to the climate crisis as a way to divert our attention from the lack of actual action toward the real issues at hand, and quite frankly, our planet cannot afford delays in combating climate change.
STRIKE VIDEOS
TAKE A BOW The hot beam of the spotlight accomplishment in life, a symbol but I do everything in my power to shines immensely, its brightness of worth and acceptance. What control it. I am lost in a ceaseless covering everything—except would you do to reach this state? cycle of performance. For who, the countless pairs of piercing The spotlight is on you, and so you may ask? Anyone that comes eyes burning through you. Its is the pressure. You can lose my way. What’s actually going on heat grows in temperature, yourself on the path to fame. doesn’t matter. My favorite game abrasively boiling your skin as you Fame can get to your head. Don’t is pseudo-realities; I must be desperately try to remember your put on a facade that isn’t you. accentuated in the most attractive lines. The opening lines of your You’re facing an identity crisis. way. Photographed to perfection. monologue should flow through Do you even know who you are? Represented to be irresistibly cool you, yet the rehearsed lines seem Why do you want to be placed on and effortless. To be that girl. The to trap themselves within your a pedestal where society forgets one on your Pinterest board. The throat, unable to escape your that you are still a human being? split second of the day they see trembling lips. They wish to see You chose this. All eyes are on you me dictates my self-esteem. Like. the character, not you; Don’t 24/7, watching your every move. Comment. Share. Like. Please like forget your lines. Don’t mess up Don’t say that. Don’t wear that. me. The kryptonite of validation. your blocking—these people paid You can’t break the mold you’ve My main motivation… to see a performance. As a bead built for yourself. You’re tired of I’m being authentic, I swear! Make of sweat escapes the pores of being this person and having Instagram casual, remember? I your forehead and trickles down this life? Too bad. People don’t am absolutely what’s on my feed. your face, your body begins to know who you are or what you’ve That’s me. Take a bow. quiver. Your scene partner repeats been through. When will you stop erson and having this life? Too bad. their line, cueing you to go on, putting on this show to hide your People don’t know who but all you can feel are the blinks pain? Is the pressure too much of the audience awaiting your this time? character’s reaction. You deliver The second I gain consciousness your line just as you rehearsed in the morning, I’m on my way to countless times, but the joke falls becoming a new character. Who flat. There was no laugh, not even should I be today? What vibe do I a chuckle—just a stray cough; Did want to give off? It’s a life-or-death I miss something? I’m funny… question. My reputation depends right? The scene continues in front on it. of you, leaving you to fade into the Perception. What a word. A word backdrop. I’m a failure. I’m weak. that holds my hand throughout Dull. Average. Your thoughts soon the day and tucks me into bed. turn cold, rendering the heat of A word that never fails to leave the spotlight useless at reviving my side. My cheerleader. My you. The shivers down your body paparazzi. If I do my hair this way multiply, and your sweat goes instead of that or wear a skirt from droplets to icicles; the world that’s a little too short…what will has become an icy landscape, they think? What will the bots that but you mustn’t show that you’re roam the ever-expanding web of frozen. After all, the show must go the Internet think of me? I’ll never on…. know, but I long to. I rely on them Perfection. The thing our like water. How am I perceived? Writers Lexi Tulowitzki, Dani society values as the ultimate How? It’s up to my audience really,
Hernandez, and Sophia Ferraro
621 Gallery is a nonprofit arts exhibition and programming space, focusing on COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT FOR STUDENTS AND LOCALS LOCATED AT 6503 RAILROAD SQUARE, TALLAHASSEE, FL OPEN THURSDAYSUNDAY 1-5 PM
nails in issue 14 by:
Jazmin Ashley @luvletternails
Light a fire under us.
With the crackle of cobalt flames rising, a sheen of heat emanates from the burner, washing over us in a scorching wave of anguish. Our blood boils. Molten in our veins, it sears a singed path under our skin as it courses through us with a bubbling ferocity that demands escape. Pressure builds: the pressure to measure up to expectations, the pressure of social conformity; the pressure of looking your best, doing your best, being your best; the pressure to be perfect. Stifled in a haze of oxygen deprivation, consumed by the fire, we can’t breathe. The pressure is isolating and debilitating as we are crushed by the weight of the world bearing in. Until we can’t bear it anymore, ushering the crescendo of release. Hissing like a kettle, blowing off steam, we just want to scream. Under pressure, we are like diamonds, glistening and scintillating with the glint of our prismatic edges, forged by the fires of hardship. By Noelle Knowlton