Strike Magazine Flagler Issue 01

ISSUE 01 | ST. AUGUSTINE, FLORIDA

PA R A D I S E

DRAWN IN

STAIR/STARE

8

UNPACK IT ALL | BEARER OF BAD NEWS

OUR BAGGAGE

14

MONOTONOUS ESCAPE | REALITY RAIN CHECK

THE DAY TRIP

TABLE OF

22

IMPERFECT PERCEPTION | LETTERS TO ME

PERCEPTION REFLECTION

STATIC SUCCESSION | LOVE WILL COME LOUDLY

WHITE NOISE

30 CLAUSTROPHOBIC ABYSS | LIVE AUTHENTICALLY

CHECK OUT

40 48

CONTENTS

SPRING ‘21 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Mitchell Linville

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Grace Garlesky ASST. CREATIVE DIRECTOR Grace Tolbert

FASHION DIRECTOR Gracie Gianoukos STYLISTS Abby Martos Katy Oakley

PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR Kathryn Hennessy

MAKE UP ARTISTS Grace Partin Keeli Scarlett

PHOTOGRAPHERS Abigail Noel Ashlie Fortner Caitlin Gurley Gracie Condon-Brady Gracie Gianoukos CINEMATOGRAPHERS Destynee Jones Kyle Perrone GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Jordan Sumner Kenefick Kyra Sjolund Maurice Limbourg Michaela Rataiczak

COPY EDITOR Lauren Cich BLOG DIRECTOR Marissa DeMaio STAFF WRITERS Allison Kindley Kendall Broglio Macie Herbert Sara Valentino Sky Rivera Quinn Sheehan MARKETING DIRECTOR Justina Benetis MARKETING ASSISTANT Ashley Chatmon PUBLIC RELATIONS DIRECTOR Alex Kruczko PUBLIC RELATIONS ASSISTANT Jackie Coronato OUREACH DIRECTOR Grace Andress OUTREACH ASSISTANT Abby Kreinheder CASTINGS DIRECTOR Elisabeth Shirley

OUR STAFF

EDITOR’S LETTER

Photographer: Grace Tolbert

I

As I sit here and write this letter in March of 2021,

I can’t help but reflect on how much has changed this past year. A year ago, as I was leaving college, I ultimately left a person behind who is so different from who I am today. While much negativity and devastation came with last year, so did perseverance and change. In the midst of the uncertainty, my mind was often filled with fleeting thoughts of the what-ifs, the regrets, and nostalgia. 2020 became a pivotal year throughout every aspect of my life it brought exponential change through people, feelings, relationships, and experiences I would’ve never imagined I’d have.

I had enough first-hand experience as a junior to realize that a creative and collaborative outlet was lacking on campus. My desire to do something so different, so out of my comfort zone, was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. The next thing I knew, I found myself clicking send on an email to Hannah Kealy and Emma Oleck at Strike HQ to inquire about starting a magazine. Later that week I got on Zoom with Emma and was beyond ecstatic when she said that my vision for this magazine would come to fruition. At the end of the call, I will never forget her saying, “This will take over your life.” I truly was so naive and have not heard a more accurate statement since. I was now Editor-in-Chief of a magazine - If you would’ve told me this a year prior, I would’ve been so perplexed.

Eight months later, here we are in print. None of this would’ve been possible without my perseverant, continually creative, and driven staff. As I have said and will continue to say, this magazine is not mine by any means. This magazine was just an idea I had, and it would be nothing without this team. I am forever grateful for each and every one of you that helped bring my vision to life. I believe it is easy to desire change, but actual change does not occur until an individual realizes their potential. I struggled this past year with realizing my own potential. Thank you to those who recognized my vision, helped me realize my potential, and reassured me through everything… this is just the beginning.

Editor-in-Chief | Mitchell Linville

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessy

This Founding Issue will build upon the theme of Paradise. The theme is inspired by our unique location situated between the stunning beaches and historic downtown. Paradise is also a play on words, as this last year we have been truly challenged. When faced with hardships, we find a Paradise to escape to. Throughout 2020, instead of physically escaping, we have had to find Paradise within ourselves and our mundane activities during a very ‘unprecedented’ year. Paradise is a rarity and in order to find it, one must embark on a journey. In this past year, each one of us has journeyed further than ever before in order to find our own Paradise. As we move forward and our lives begin to slowly resume, we must not forget what Paradise we found along the way.

PARADISE

STAIR STARE Going up or down? Reality or fantasy?... In the age of social media and keeping up an online presence, we are fulfilling a society that does not exist. We present outsiders

with a fantasized version of our lives in order to keep their attention and assert a level of

dominance. We often allow others to explain their fantasized perspective of our situation and then build upon it, all so we may not only remain in our fantasy but preserve the image. Everybody keeps part of their reality living in fantasy in order to preserve a

presence. We exaggerate the lifestyle that many believe we live, playing into this fantasy that many of us are guilty of upholding.

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

D R AW N I N By: Kendall Broglio

Our campus is remarkably gorgeous, from elegant historic buildings to the powdered coastlines, and the endless Spanish Renaissance Revival style of architecture. Everything about our campus screams fantastical paradise.

The refined architecture acts as motivation for us to deceive reality. We can be seen masquerading around campus as dignified students and living a life that many can only dream of. Social media allows us to post our best moments on the warmest days, the seemingly fictitious sunsets, and the endless locations that help craft our city’s charm. As we continue to boast the lifestyle that others believe we have, it is worth it to question whether or not we are flaunting. Is this a slap in the face to others? It would never be on purpose, but there could be a subconscious desire to hide that we truly are conventional students with hardships that have

shaped us more than our college setting. I’ve heard it time and time again, “You live in Florida.

How could you ever be unhappy!

Those sunset pictures you posted on your story are so beautiful!”.

It’s a dilemma at times. I want to post confidently, freely, and live the life that those believe I have, but I wish they would remember I am a 20-year-old college student still trying to figure out what path I am supposed to take in life. The anxiety that comes with our concerns about how others perceive us does not disappear with the beach we posed in front of; it arguably heightens our consternation. It becomes difficult when you know what is going on behind the scenes of your peers’ lives, but we all continue to uphold this quintessential lifestyle for an audience that does not exist.

You will never deeply know a person based on their social media. The aesthetically pleasing picture is not uniform to the life they are living. When we consider ourselves lucky, or we have an experience we want to share, it is common for us to immediately contemplate the perfect caption and post. This has become so routine that it does not require much thought. Unfortunately, this routine can lead to a mindset that is based on comparing yourself to others. We know that the pictures we post don’t define who we really are, so why do we struggle with the idea that others may feel the same way? Living in one of the

prettiest places I’ve ever been feels like a fever dream at times and I have found that it also feels like it comes with great responsibility.

As our society commands us to fantasize our mindset about life, we have to constantly remind ourselves that not everything in life can be fantasized upon.

They make us believe we are downright privileged to go to school here - which is not untrue, but we have to remind ourselves that we are still human, and life is never perfect. Because of the perspective of others, we believe that we cannot look ungrateful for our time spent in the oldest city. Any complaint about the experience I am having comes with my own guilt-ridden recoil.

I have to remind myself that just because people believe my life is perfect, does not make it necessary to become what society deems as ‘perfect’.

In the time I have been in St. Augustine, I have gained confidence in becoming unconcerned with others’ judgment. The apathy I have gained toward onlookers’ opinions has allowed my growth to flourish.

I decide to look after the aspects of myself that I can control; I want to be kind, generous, and successful.

Sharing my life through social media has simply become a way for me to express memories of my time in college. I am sharing my honest experiences so I can look back on them. This wasn’t easy at first, but it gave me the ability to

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

Do you live within reality or a fantasy? In the age of social media and keeping up a presence, we are upholding a society that does not exist... or does it? We often allow outsiders to create a fantasized perspective of our reality, and then we build upon their vision. We then remain in this ‘imagined’ world to preserve an image - an image that was not intentionally created by us, but one that we now feel responsible for.

acknowledge that who I display myself as on social media is someone who has greater goals than to gain the approval of others. I no longer perceive my life through the lens of my social media profile, and remind myself to do the same with others.

Someone’s judgment of who I actually am as a person should only come after they chose to find out more about me, away from any screens or social media platforms.

It is easy to crack under the pressure of societal expectations and want to display only the fantasized version of life on social

media. The majority of the time, social media just represents a fantasized reality; it never actually expresses who we genuinely are. You are not responsible for creating a perfect reflection of your life for others. It simply comes down to altering others’ perceived fantasy into your own fantasy and then turning it into a reality. So, who do you want to be?

Will you continue to live within the preconceived fantasy of others, or will you choose to escape the crushing weight of expectation and live life freely within your reality?

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

“THE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING PICTURE IS...

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

...NOT UNIFORM TO THE LIFE THEY ARE LIVING”

OUR BAGGAGE

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

We all come with our own baggage, often weighing us down. However sometimes we must leave it behind in order to move freely. We attempt to try to hide our baggage to become more appealing to the masses. While this may seem like the right thing to do, and can be unavoidable at times, we must embrace ourselves fully. Not only should we adorn ouselves by our best traits, but the baggage in which we so desperately try to conceal. Open it up, and allow yourself to be the truest version of you, we often find more similarities in others within the parts of ourselves we thought isolated us.

UNPACKING IT ALL By: Quinn Sheehan

When I was in high school, I was always the loud girl who would just blurt out the answers. Teachers liked me, I did decent in school, and I had a solid group of friends. But what many people didn’t know was that my home life wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies. When I was a freshman, my mom and I constantly fought; it caused our relationship to be incredibly strained. As a result, I pushed all of my friends away and started acting out in school. I finished my freshman year with a 1.3 GPA and had no motivation to do anything.

I have learned that just because my life isn’t perfect, due to the baggage I carry with me, it doesn’t mean I have to bring it into my school life and hurt other people.

I cleaned up my act; during my sophomore year, my mom and I rekindled our relationship, and it finally got back to normal.

I got involved in clubs and put more energy into volleyball. I was holding onto my pain, thinking that I was all alone. Once I started expressing to my friends how I was feeling, I realized that they didn’t view me differently and supported me no matter what.

Baggage is often seen as a negative aspect of life, but it is important to accept it and not let it consume you. Our past experiences can teach us a lot about the people we want to be. By allowing ourselves to accept our baggage and move on from it, we can become better people. Now, I check my baggage at the door. Just because I have some damage doesn’t make me damaged; it just makes me who I am, and I am stronger for it.

When other students heard that I was writing about the baggage that we carry with us throughout our lives, they also shared their stories with me. Maura Iazzetta understands what it is like to have baggage that weighs you down. Iazzetta said, “The summer going into my senior year, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. The news was very shocking to me because I was only diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the time, so this was a big change in my life.” Everyone deals with their baggage that weighs you down. Iazzetta said,

“The summer going into my senior year, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. The news was very shocking to me because I was only diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the time, so this was a big change in my life.”

Everyone deals with their baggage in different ways, and oftentimes their baggage can change them for the better. Iazzetta continued by stating, “I didn’t want to tell anyone about my diagnosis. I was embarrassed and learning how to deal with the news myself.

Over time, I became more open, especially after I did some research to understand what this disorder truly was.” Iazzetta is now thriving in college. Leaving home has really helped her find herself and build relationships that are healthy for her. To cope with her Bipolar, Iazzetta has found tools to keep her levelheaded. She states, “Drawing, painting, exercising, cleaning, and journaling are some of the ways I can control my mood when it starts to get away from me.” Like Iazzetta, we should all try to find a way to keep ourselves leveled when we feel like we are spiraling. Bad days are bound to happen, and it is how we handle them that makes us stronger!

As a society, we often try so hard to be perfect and accepted that we lose sight of our true selves. We can become consumed with trying to hide the baggage in our lives from others to showcase a picturesque life.

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

Each of us has a story to tell. Behind our smiles lies a lifetime of memories and hurt.

Even if someone looks content on the outside, it doesn’t mean that they feel happy on the inside.

Behind closed doors, there can be a world of chaos that is never seen. Some neighborhoods look gorgeous from the outside, but the ‘real’ life within the home can be chaotic and messy. Because of this, we need to be kinder to the people around us by learning to walk in their shoes. Every person in your life has some sort of baggage.

Our Baggage can range from something as small as getting a flat tire on your way to work to having trust issues from an ex.

By letting go of the fear of what everyone else thinks of us, we will find the people that we truly deserve in our lives. These people will want us for us. By being true to yourself and letting go of past fears, you will ultimately live a more fulfilling life and attract more like-minded people who will continue to lift you up. When people see the genuine radiation you give off once you embrace yourself, they will be instantly drawn to you.

There will always be some sort of baggage we hold onto, but it is how we handle it and

let it go that lets us move freely.

Don’t be afraid to open up to others about the baggage in your life because sharing it gives people a glimpse into your life while also making your story relatable. If people close to you understand your struggles, they will know how to help you and who to come to when they struggle with similar things. It is not a bad thing to be anxious or scared. IT IS NORMAL. Do not let someone ever make you feel less than you are because of your past.

Do not let someone ever make you feel less than you are because of a struggle from your past. Accept your baggage and all that you are. You are who you are because of it. I have accepted my baggage, and it makes me who I am today. I am proud of myself for moving past it, and I continue to learn and grow from it - as should you. If you don’t know where to turn or how to express the things holding you down, talk to someone you are close to, write, or scream into the abyss. You are strong and beautiful because of the baggage.

Remember that always.

“I didn’t want to tell anybody...”

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Photo: Abb y Noel

Photographer: Abby Noel

Photo: Ashlie Fortner

Photo: Abby Noel

Photo: Gracie Gian oukos

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

BEARER OF BAD NEWS By: Sky Rivera

For over five years now, I have lived with the aching feeling that my little sister resented me for being the one to tell her our mom had passed away. I always felt like she had resentment towards me because I was the one who spoke the words that began the worst days of our lives. Our mom had been battling Stage 4 Colon Cancer, and the fight had come to an end.

At 16 years old, I crawled into my little sister’s bed in the middle of the night to tell her the worst thing a child could hear. My sister was 14 at the time, but she seemed so much younger at that moment. She is undoubtedly a brute, but she has always looked so peaceful when she sleeps. I had to wake a child from that peaceful sleep to tell her that she no longer had a mother. Before I could even process what was happening, I had walked to her room in a daze. As our dad stood in the living room and grasped his new reality, I knew it was my responsibility to tell her.

Until a few weeks ago, I always thought she had hated me for being the one to tell her. I feared that maybe, in a way, she felt like I had caused her pain. I made sure to do anything and everything I could to make her life easier. I was late to work because I took her to band practice. I then left work early to pick her up from band practice, so she didn’t have to wait in the dark parking lot. At 16, I became a strange maternalsister figure in her life. I made her doctor’s appointments, packed her lunches, and even made her breakfast when time allowed. While I certainly wanted to help in any way I could, I think a part of me felt like I owed it to her.

Fast forward from December 2015 to March 2021, and a weight has been lifted off of my chest. My sister and I spoke about that moment for the first time in over five years. While the brain has a way of blocking painful memories, this was one she had not forgotten. She confessed that she wouldn’t have known what to do if she was in my situation. Autumn told me, “I remember you coming in to tell me. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to have to do that. I couldn’t have done it if I was in your position.” While I feared she resented me for what I had done, she actually admired my strength in the situation. This conversation lifted that strange fear I had been holding onto for years. I don’t know if she will even realize how much that conversation meant until she reads this.

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Photo: Kathyrn Hennessey

essey thyrn Henn Photo: Ka

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

The Day Trip In the midst of it all, we do our best to find a way to escape. Not being able to physically escape was an obstacle many of us faced in this last year. Whether we were eventually able to venture out or if we decided to venture inwards, we all found something. In the height of quarantine, we were all left to our own devices, trapped in our houses, reminded constantly of our own presence. Each of us found escapes to not only allow for our present self to be relieved but in order to merge our past activities to the future. Mundane day trips became the height of our summer, as we clung and hoped for some sense of familiarity. While these activities would allow us to venture, they also helped us to stay grounded.

Photographer: Caitlin Gurley

By: Lauren Cich

Life had become monotonous. The innocent, clueless nature that defined the first weeks of quarantine vanished as quickly as they had come. We had already finished watching Tiger King, stopped taking family walks, taught ourselves how to be expert bakers, and started to tire of making whipped coffee every morning. At first, an extended Spring break sounded like an amazing opportunity to ease our minds from endless amounts of schoolwork, but this relaxation quickly turned into the days becoming one unceasing blur.

As the first ‘phase’ of quarantine ended, so did our hopes for life to return to normality as quickly as the world promised us it would.

I felt like I was moving in circles. I was having the same conversations, experiencing the same anxieties, and asking the same question, “will this ever end?” every day. My home had become increasingly more suffocating as the world became more menacing. The differing news networks discussed the importance of ‘flattening the curve,’ while Covid case numbers continued to rise. The bad news came like a never-ending stream, and our mental health pushed us over the edge of the waterfall.

Although the sun remained shining, I felt like I had entered

a dark black and white film and could not escape its bleakness. I needed something new. I needed to escape from the suffocation of my house and the prison of my mind.

One day, as I was tediously making patterns out of the grooves in my ceiling, I decided to go for a drive. I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going, but I needed to experience something other than sulking in anxiety within the confining walls of my bedroom.

As I got into the car, I decided that instead of listening to the discouraging news broadcasts, I would listen to some of my favorite music. Even though I often went for drives to break up the monotonous activities of my quarantine lifestyle, this day was different. As I drove through my small, beachside town, I suddenly felt like I woke up from an endless nightmare. I felt like I could see again. The breeze smelled of salt, and the seagulls flew above my car, almost guiding me towards my awakening. For months I had lived the same day. I woke up, worried about life, and went to sleep. For a while, it was an incredibly depressing existence.

I did not help myself break from this lifestyle, though. Instead of making an escape plan, I let the darkness pull me back. On this car ride, I welcomed different voices.

I welcomed positive vibes as opposed to the discouraging news headlines. While I still believe it is imperative to stay updated on current events taking place in the world, we cannot let it consume our entire being. We need to let positive ideas influence us to create and find a paradise within ourselves.

The seagulls were soon replaced with stars as the sun started to set. I pulled my car to the side of the road and watched the waves move with the tide. My day trip to the beach brought color back into the movie of my life. In order to escape from the bleakness of our seemingly apocalyptic world, we need to embrace the idea of breaking from the static of our monotonous routines. To do this, you do not need to plan some elaborate vacation, adventure, or ‘escape plan.’ Instead, venture inward and figure out what would help bring more color to our black and white world; let your mind escape the darkness of the physical world and take an alluring day trip. Once you can push past the boundaries you are making for yourself, discover what will help you create a paradise within your mind. The world may not present itself as a paradise right now, but we can control our minds and the day trips we allow ourselves to indulge in.

Photographer: Caitl in Gurley

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Photographer: Caitlin G urley

Photographer: Caitlin Gurley

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessy

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Reality Rain Check By: Marissa DeMaio

Photographer: Caitlin Gurley

I am writing to you from an old, rustic public bench overlooking the Saint Augustine seawall. As I am sitting on this bench, I get lost in time. I become consumed by the sparkling turquoise water, relaxed by the sound of the crashing waves, and chilled by the salty wind as it blows through the air. For hours on end, my senses are captivated.

I am suddenly awoken from this daze by the loud tourists who have walked in my direction. Inspired by them, I decide to get up and walk as well. I walk the seawall completely, from one side to the other, passing the small miniature golf place that no one ever goes to, and finally reaching the fort.

Everything seems to pass by in a blur. I continue walking as I listen to Luke Combs’ newest album, completely forgetting about everything -- allowing myself to escape reality.

The Saint Augustine seawall is my personal paradise.

Whether I am overlooking the water from a bench or walking the wall, I forget about everything going on within my chaotic life and solely focus on the scenery.

The crashing of the rough waves, the dolphins swimming in the water, and the palm trees swaying back and forth in the breeze that washes over my skin allows me to enter into an instant state of tranquility.

Instead, I will figure out a game plan on how I can make stressful situations less overwhelming. As I reach my car, the sights of the busy Saint Augustine roads slowly pull me back to reality. This further allows me to acknowledge that the seawall is truly my personal paradise; a place where the beautiful scenery enables me to forget about all of the stressful aspects of life and enjoy some time to myself.

As my walk comes to an end and I head back to my car, I reflect on the things that were stressing me out before visiting the seawall. Because of the sense of peace that this place gives me, I will not allow myself to get worked up over the inconveniences in my life.

You should visit a place that is your personal paradise.

Reward yourself every once in a while, and allow yourself to escape reality for a little bit. No matter how strong, organized, or puttogether you are, everyone needs and deserves a break.

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessy

In a culture of trying to become the best version of ourselves, we often find ourselves trying to become the best person. While strides have been made within society in regards to body image, there are still many stigmas and standards one feels the need to live up to. We have been taught to love our bodies unconditionally, however, that is not the reality as many of us struggle with personal perception and image. While we struggle with becoming the best version of ourselves, we also struggle with the comparison of others. We must not allow others’ perceptions of ourselves to affect the way we see our reflection.

By Allison Kindley

I can’t remember a time when I was unaware of my body. I’ve always struggled to be okay with the way I look, to stop looking at other girls wishing for something I don’t have. For years I have told myself, “I’ll never be skinny, and that’s okay.” Because the more you hear something, the more you’ll believe it, right? But I can’t help wanting it. I can’t help hoping that a time will come where I never feel my heart drop inside my chest when I pass a mirror. I can’t help hoping that it won’t be impossibly hard for me to find pants that fit, are comfortable and make me feel good about myself one day. I can’t help hoping that one day my friends will be able to go through my closet, and I can go through theirs. I can’t help hoping one day I won’t have to order an extra-large on every clothing site because I want to “go a size up just to be safe.” Extra large. You’re already large, but even more than just that. Society tells us that “everybody is beautiful,” but only includes a very certain type of body in magazines, tv shows, movies, advertisements, etc. How am I supposed to feel like my body is beautiful when I feel so much bigger than every other girl I see around me?

One of the hardest things I have dealt with when it comes to being a “bigger” girl is how people perceive me. If my shirt fits tighter than someone else’s because I have a bigger chest, I am “looking for attention.” I am “asking for it.” People think the way my clothes fit is an invitation to assume I want something I have not shown any interest in.

People will label me as a “slut” because when I wear that shirt, it’s too low-cut. Because of the way fabric lays across my skin, people will assume I want them to look at me. It breaks my heart that society spends so much time and effort teaching us to cover up and so little time addressing how wrong it is to sexualize anyone of any age, race, or gender

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

I wish someone had told me a very long time ago that I didn’t need to know all the answers. It’s okay to fight with your body some days. It’s okay to fight with yourself some days. But it’s not okay to be fighting every day. Many issues concerning body image go back to mental health. The struggle to love oneself happens to just about everyone you meet. It’s a struggle that goes much deeper than “I feel gross and ugly today.” It’s a struggle with anxiety, depression, and the chemical makeup of your brain — which you have no control over, by the way. You can’t control it if the ‘happy’ chemicals in your brain work differently than someone else’s does. Those brightly-colored quotes that are posted on Instagram stories, telling you to “be kind to yourself” and to “focus on the positive,” aren’t going to fix you. And that’s okay. You can’t tell someone with a broken leg to get up and walk and expect them to listen. Similarly, you can’t tell someone fighting with mental health issues to “choose happiness” and “think positive thoughts.” It is not a choice. It is way more than that. A compliment from a stranger may make you feel nice at that moment, but at the end of the day, everything comes back to you. Your body and your mind may fight sometimes. They may get angry at one another. But coming to the realization that your body and mind only belong to you, and that you were given them for a reason can lead to acceptance. It can be a life-long journey to accept yourself, and it’s not something that you can find and keep forever.

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

especially based on what they are wearing. The clothes we wear are not wrong. It’s the twisted mindset of people who think a body is a trophy; something to win. We should be more worried about the dehumanizing thoughts people have towards others than the length of a girl’s skirt. Society tells us that every body is beautiful. They do not tell us that every body is worthy of respect. I know so many people who have gotten lost in a sea of self-loathing, which has caused them to lose respect for their bodies. I’d be lying if I said I have never done this myself. They hurt their body. They starved their body. They gave their body away to people who never intended on loving them the way they deserved. Even if you don’t feel beautiful, I pray that you still feel worthy of respect. Your body works so hard, and it will continue to support you through whatever you do. It works hard for you. It heals and repairs itself and grows for you. Do not let someone treat it without respect.

My body isn’t perfect. People have tried to tell me it is—friends who love me but don’t know exactly what to say to comfort me. Boys I’ve loved but didn’t love me in the way I thought they did. Family members who want me to be proud of who I am. At the end of the day, when I look in the mirror, all the other voices go away. It’s only mine that lasts. Some nights it says fat. Ugly. Gross. Overweight. But then I stop. Then I breathe.

I don’t want to tell you to “change your mindset” or to “find the beauty in everything.” I unfollowed those Instagram quote profiles a long time ago. But I will look in the mirror, and I will breathe. That body is mine.

It’s not always easy to love. It’s not always beautiful. It’s not always comfortable. But it is what I have, and it is the one thing I can be sure of for the rest of my life. So I will respect it. I will feed it and water it. I will give it sunlight and exercise. I will be responsible for it. I will work on it. I will work on me. I will give myself time to grow. And I will feel beautiful.

Starting at a very young age, I’ve always had a difficult relationship with my body, as I never fit the societal standard of the slim women that I always came across in every form of media as I was absorbing. Where I began going on diet on and off, and going as far as starving myself, and searching ways on how to become anorexic, as I hated my body so much. However, over the past, I’ve begun to reconcile with my body and gain a sense of confidence that I’ve never had before, as I came to the realization that I will never be like those women on T.V. All I can do is continue to work on loving myself, and not let my body hold me back.

- Christie Beaubrun

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

LETTERS TO ME

My relationship with my body has always been very rocky. At the age of 15, I started to develop a bad relationship with food; I would cut meals and only eat a tiny meal once a day. I began to get noticeably thin, and I became in love with the thinness and chased that look more and more until I reached a breaking point. I worked out intensely every weekday for volleyball and my body began to give out on me, as I was abusing myself for an image that was not to be achieved for me but solely for societal pleasure. After recovering from that period of my life, I gained a lot of weight; about 20-30 pounds. At first, this was a struggle to accept and love my body for its curves and chubby sides. But, after a while when I learned how to stop trying to please others and societal standards, I came to love my body for exactly what it is: one of a kind. No one has the same body as me and that is what makes my body so special, beautiful, and loveable. I like to always think that when I am down and idolize a certain body I see myself longing for, that someone can look at me and think the same about mine. Now that I am at a healthy weight and place in my life, I am happy and unconcerned with the way others see me as my body is my own and the only person that needs to give her nourishment and love is me.

- Gracie Gianoukos

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Black women in the media have been hypersexualized to a point where our bodies have become commodities in the music, film, and fashion industries. Having to come into myself during a time where I was only seeing the images of what black women “should” look like was damaging to my own self-image. I never felt beautiful enough, “thick” enough, or desirable enough by society’s standards. One day I just came to terms with the fact that I don’t look like Meg Thee Stallion or Cardi B, and my blackness and my femininity aren’t defined by how curvy or sculpted my body is. My blackness and femininity is defined by the inner beauty that is so often overlooked in black women. My intelligence, the way I carry myself, and how I represent my culture and my fellow black women is what connects me to my community, not my body.

- Keeli Scarlett

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

It has always amazed me how easily people are able to make unnecessary comments on your body when you are skinny.

The stigma that comes with fat-shaming does not exist when it comes to remarks about thin bodies. All my life, I have always been thin, not on purpose but simply by nature. Over the years, family members or acquaintances have felt the need to tell me I’m “all skin and bones” or that I should “eat a burger”. Although possibly meant as nonchalant or even complimentary, these comments have always made me feel uncomfortable. Every time it happened, I was immediately engulfed in self-consciousness, looking down at my knees or becoming hyper-aware of my wrist which the unassuming person had their thumb and index finger wrapped around. While I don’t doubt that these are simple observations to those individuals, to me they are awkward and intrusive. I say this not to claim skinny people are oppressed, but just to make you think. You wouldn’t dream of saying “you’re so fat!” to someone’s face, but we see a double standard in that people find it okay to say things like this to thin people. A good rule of thumb is just not making comments about people’s bodies, period. Unless it’s “you look good,” I think we would all feel better about ourselves if we didn’t make judgments on others based on their appearances. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 20 years on this earth, it’s that you never know what someone’s going through.

- Grace Garlesky

Photographer: Gracie Brady

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessy

For almost two years, I struggled with an eating disorder that destroyed my body image and my mental health. I didn’t know who I was or even how to be myself because my whole identity was rooted in looking a certain way and being “perfect.” Every time I looked in a mirror, I saw a different picture of myself that was determined by what I ate that day or how many calories I burned. I was stuck in a pattern of wanting to love myself and my body, but not allowing myself to because I was terrified of letting others know what was going on, as if they would see me as a failure. It wasn’t until quarantine that I finally talked to someone about it and spent some time with myself to reconnect with my true identity and let go of the idea that I had to be perfect all the time. I started cooking as a way to get over my fear of food, and I fell in love with exercising as a way to feel strong and energized. Over time, and with a lot of support, my self-image began to repair itself, and I started to love myself and my body exactly how it is. There are still days where I might struggle, but now I know that I don’t have to be perfect, and my body is beautiful exactly how it is. - Abby Martos

I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to control how people perceive me in order to fit in, but it never made me happy. As I tried to model myself after others, I would pick my body apart based on certain beauty standards and lose comfort in my own skin. It got worse when I became overly sexualized as a woman. Sexual comments made about my body not only made me feel uncomfortable, but it made me uncomfortable with how my body looked. For a long time, I didn’t like my body and its gross objectification by others. It wasn’t until Covid-19 happened that I was able to build a healthier relationship with myself. In the comforts of my home, I dyed my hair, changed my style, and expressed myself in more intrinsic ways without the fear of criticism. Reflecting on this journey, I see how it ties in with feminism. With women being constantly judged for what they do and what they wear, it’s hard to love ourselves without helplessly conforming to society’s standards. Even when we conform, we aren’t guaranteed happiness. This needs to change. If society wasn’t built on tearing women down, basing their worth on looks, and sexualizing their bodies, we wouldn’t feel so inadequate. Even though beauty standards pervade our society, we need to stop letting an outsider’s perception of us impact the perceptions we have of ourselves. If we perceive ourselves as beautiful, we should reflect nothing less, and there’s a comfort in that. - Marysa Tuttle

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

As a dancer, I struggled with my image for a very long time. Competition season was always the worst for me. There was always someone who was better than you, skinnier than you, and it took a toll on everyone whether they said it or not. There was one competition that I was trying so hard at so I could be part of the professional team. I ended up seriously injured. I hid it from everyone for months because I was still striving to be the best. Months after continuously injuring my body more and more, I finally cracked under the pain and told someone. Appointment after appointment to find out what was wrong with me, I was told I could never dance again. My whole life crashed from underneath me. My whole goal was to be a professional dancer and now I couldn’t. This took a toll on me mentally and physically. I wasn’t allowed to workout so that caused me to gain weight. I hated myself and at times would starve myself for days or weeks, and no one noticed. It wasn’t until years later and coming to college that I became comfortable with myself again. I was far away from the toxic city I was once living in and could finally be me. I tried out new styles to find myself.

Mentally I am still not in the right headspace, but I am trying. Trying to better yourself is all you can do.

Nothing changes overnight. It takes time to find yourself and I think that is beautiful. - Grace Partin

I think I have always struggled with my relationship with my looks and style. Something that helps me accept it is when I dress a bit more out of my comfort zone or try something different. Another thing that has helped is when I started dying my hair fun colors, it helped me feel more in control about how I look and how people perceive me. - Jessica Lubbers

WHITE

Whether it be the ocean breeze creeping through the window, the sound of a summer storm, or the ambient sounds coming through your speakers, the white noise left much space for thoughts to run rampant. In this last year we have had introspective journeys that have led us to believe certain falsehoods to be true. Having too much time on our hands became a predicament that we found ourselves in. Instead of distracting ourselves with physical changes, we had to distract

our mind with our mind. Running through our heads were fleeting thoughts of life before 2020, what-ifs, regrets, nostalgia and the uncertainty of it all. While each of us were guilty of letting these thoughts prosper, and in some cases get the best of us, we took charge. Disruption does not come silently, and appreciation for how far we each have come on our own journey will not be overlooked.

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

NOISE

By Macie Hebert

There was too much time on our hands. I can see it so vividly.

Some days were like this: I would be sitting in my room after a painful morning of monotony, doing the same thing over and over again when all of a sudden…

It’s around 7:00 in the morning, and the sound of the air conditioning is the only thing separating the house from pure silence. I lift myself out of bed, allowing my feet to touch the never-clean condo floor, and make my way slowly up the worn, wooden staircase. I can feel the memories under my hand as it glides along the banister, holding on more for familiarity than stability. If anywhere is home, it is in this vacation rental that my family stays in for two weeks every year. As I make my morning coffee, I notice out of the corner of my eye that someone is sitting on the deck out back; a red t-shirt and dark short hair is all I can make out in the dim light of dawn.

Dad. The excitement is immediate because I am 18 at the time, nearly about to attend college 8 hours away, and the few moments I get with Dad without the bustle of everyday life are rare. Mornings like these are always cherished.

So, I grab two mugs, fill them up, and make my way out to the deck, ready to hear the soft sound of ocean waves running up the sand.

And then I was back.

I never left. And the ache of realizing something like that wasn’t possible in these circumstances ripped at my heartstrings. There was just so much silence in the days of lockdown. There was so much fear. There were too many opportunities just to sit and revel in all of the horrors that were ensuing in our lives. Those were the bad days. Those were the days where too many thoughts plagued my mind. What if this never ends? I should’ve spent more time with people. Nothing will ever be the same. Can the world possibly be this bad? This vicious cycle of tormenting thoughts and undeniable anxiety made it difficult to grip onto hope. There were some, though, that were conquerable.

On some of those rough days, I woke up and put on something other than a t-shirt. I tried to create and be productive instead of wallowing. We all had to get through it somehow. So, I did what most of you probably tried to do. I picked up a new hobby. Crocheting sounded like an interesting option. I started meditating. I tried new recipes when I could. I read new books and reread old ones. Those were the days I won, although there was still the occasional slip into old memories and ideas of what I would’ve rather been doing

instead of being stuck at home. No one is perfect. But, and I say this with confidence, I did my best. I bet you did too. There is still so much uncertainty when it comes to the days ahead. The white space in our minds is not yet filled with normalcy, and it may not for a while. So, what can we do to fulfill the mundanity?

We can create. Create something playful, something useful, something to make people smile. Create things that will make people remember something other than what’s on the news.

Create something that will stick in people’s brains and help them to remember that the world is not bad and that one day this shit show we call life will settle into something beautiful. Grab a paintbrush, a camera, a notebook, and a pen. Pull that old, dusty instrument from the attic that you forgot about. Play it. Listen. Use your voice.

Remember, everything is what you make of it. If you are feeling down about the way things are right now, be the one to start changing them however you can.

The only way to go is up. You can still fall into those daydreams and memories, as we all do, but this is your journey. If you don’t like your journey so far, this is your sign to change it. Whatever you do, do not let the white noise define your life.

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessy

Photographers: Gracie Gianoukos & Caitlin Gurley

Photographers: Kathryn Hennessy, Gracie Gianoukos & Caitlin Gurley

I HAVE SAID ONE DAY love will come loudly.

I’ll hear it in the laughter we pull from each other.

See it in white at an altar or a room we both call Home. It’ll live in the clatter of pots and pans early in the morning, in the eggs I scramble, the coffee we share. You will braid it into my hair at night.

One day I will love you, but for now love lives silently.

It does not sing but hum, like a distant siren. Dormant In the web of my veins, I try to wake it. I try to practice it in the mirror. So even if you never come, I will be well loved anyway.

Photographers: Kathryn Hennessy & Caitlin Gurley

By: Ashley Chatmon

CHECK OUT

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

Once we leave our Paradise, we must emerge back into reality. On this journey, introspective thoughts have allowed us to reminisce and flourish. While we look back on this trip with nostalgia, we also must take into account the struggles we faced. While an itinerary can be crafted for a trip, the journey of our personal growth can not. Once we lock our doors, drop our keys, check out, and leave, Paradise does not simply disappear. It is up to us to remember its existence. In this past year, each one of us has journeyed further than ever before. As we move forward and our lives begin to slowly resume, we must not forget what Paradise we found along the way.

By Sara Valentino

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

CLAUSTROPHOBIC ABYSS

Life is callous. Often, things we plan don’t work out the way we expect them to, and sometimes, it makes happiness feel fleeting. Like robbers creating a diversion, we console ourselves by turning to external pleasures, people, and parties. Others choose to immerse themselves in fictional worlds like books and video games for a little bit of relief. But the afterglow of escapism only lasts so long until we are thrust back into real life and thoughts.

In March of 2020, due to Covid-19, we were suddenly confined to our homes. We were either in isolation or with a companion that we were able to share our bubble. Still, the usual external company and amusements were not possible, and the books and games became tedious. So, as creative beings, people started to try new things. Learn new skills. We taught ourselves different languages and how to play instruments.

We became craftsmen, chefs, and poets to fill what seemed like endless amounts of time. This search to make our everyday lives extraordinary, in a time that felt so bleak, is a lesson I think everyone should learn.

It’s called romanticizing your life. It’s a state of mind that allows us to take something mundane and make it extraordinary. It’s the same state of mind that allowed da Vinci to create the Mona Lisa, Charlotte Bronte to write Jane Eyre, and Lin Manuel Miranda to compose Hamilton. By allowing yourself the mental space to be creative and to usefully spend the abundance of time on your hands to make it happen, we are making our lives better in both big and small ways. For example, by learning a new language, we are discovering new places and learning about new cultures from our sofas. Romanticizing life also takes shape by learning that all the tiny things that normally happen around you are magical and bring you joy. Whether you want to dance in the rain, bask in the sunshine, or make yourself your favorite meal just because it will make you happy, these small changes in your mindset will make life feel more fulfilling.

Photographer: Gracie Gianoukos

I’ve learned that the key to romanticizing life is to live in the moment. It takes a certain amount of bravery to take these giant steps and decide to move on from the past and stop worrying about the future.

Mark Twain once said, “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than the ones you did.” This idea is something that many people talk about, but I personally don’t think many people live by it. The majority of the time, the moments physically spent in the present are often mentally spent in the past or the future. We are either thinking about the things we can’t change because they’ve already happened or are worried about things to come. We worry about the fact that we don’t know what is coming. We are stuck in our heads, with time simultaneously moving way too fast and agonizingly slow. Because of this, our days can become claustrophobic and overwhelming. You begin to feel stuck like life is moving on without you. To stop this, we need to learn to stop and take a moment to enjoy the things right in front of us. Even if we don’t find the present situation we are in to be enjoyable, we have to learn to look at it differently. If you stop to look at what is around you for a little longer, eventually, you’ll find something beautiful. You’ll grow and become a happier person. This is better than escapism. Pretending bad things aren’t happening and distracting yourself only puts the bad feelings off for another day. But when you stop, acknowledge how you’re feeling, let the feelings move on to another place, and recognize all the beauty around you, you’ll be a happier person. We’ve all been through a lot this year, and healing isn’t linear. There are always going to be bad days. But, the inevitability of the bad doesn’t negate the good.

What you will discover is this: Life is beautiful. Few things work out the way we expect but often work out the way they’re supposed to.

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

Photographers: Gracie Gianoukos & Kathryn Hennessey

Live Authentically

Q: A:

By Kendall Broglio

If you could share advice with your past self regarding how to find your own Paradise, what do you wish you could say? How would you reassure your past self that everything will be okay?

Throughout our teen years, confidence is the key to our success. But many of us, including myself, lacked confidence. I don’t just mean confidence in our looks or status, but the confidence to be unapologetically ourselves. For the entirety of my life, I have been a die-hard people pleaser. I have always strived to be generous, kind, and compassionate. Unfortunately, many people confuse and associate these traits with being a pushover. To some extent, my past self would have believed this to be true. But now, I know that these traits are what motivate most of my actions and goals for the future.

I wish I could have told myself that the ability to care so hard about everything was never a bad trait, but it is one I am exceptionally lucky to have. Nothing has changed in that sense of my personality, but I now know how to continue to feel successful in satisfying others’ needs while also taking care of myself.

Photographer: Kathryn Hennessey

My past self would put others before herself daily, but if she knew that there was a balance that could be achieved between pleasing herself and others, the mindset I have today could have begun a long time ago. As little as three years ago, I would have never been able to imagine the life I have built for myself and the person I have become. My paradise is one where my happiness is a catalyst to those in need of support. Not one of us could have guessed how the past year of our lives could have gone. It was easy to feel stuck in time and utterly disconnected from the world. In order to prepare myself for something like that, I would tell myself something she always knew back then: think like a shark, you must keep moving.

THANK YOU HANNAH KEALY

Thank you doesn’t even begin to express my appreciation for you and for starting up Strike almost five years ago. Your vision for Strike has been truly life-changing not only to me but to so many students on various campuses. Helping to guide me through this process of building a creative community, manage a staff, and create something I am so proud of, is something I will forever be grateful for. I hope this issue makes you proud, and that you know how inspiring you are to not only me but so many, and last but not least Strike Out!

EMMA OLECK

Oh, where to begin...? From that first Zoom call I could tell you and I hit it off, destined to be friends (who interrupt each other on every single Strike HQ meeting). Thank you for being such a bright light within my life throughout this past year, for seeing me through my struggles, my successes, and everything in-between. You are an inspiration and remind me to always act with love and passion through Strike and throughout my life. I am beyond proud of everything you accomplish and so proud I got to meet you and have you in my life, lots of love.

OUR BAGGAGE Abby Martos Margaret Lucas Nate Stoughton THE DAY TRIP Ava Lovelady Catarina Hernandez Destiny Blair-Twitchell Kyra Sjolund CHECK OUT Cassidy Steiner Katy Oakley Harsha Sriram Patrick Ryan

STAIR/STARE Genevieve Lococo Nina Oeberg Sabrina Gutierrez WHITE NOISE Etoile Gelman Cooper Gore Gracie Gianoukos Jodi Boling Joseph Merced Keeli Scarlett Ryan Jones PERCEPTION/REFLECTION Christie Beaubrum Devon Wood Jessica Lubbers Marysa Tuttle Nina Cruz

To Everybody,

All my love and thanks to our amazing staff, models, and friends for taking a risk and being part of this first issue. Even after just one semester, I am so grateful for the people this magazine has introduced me to. The past year has been hard for many reasons, as we cautiously re-enter and navigate a society ravaged by a pandemic. Looking back, I hope we can all take away something positive from this strange lull in our lives. This issue is meant to help us embrace our self-discovery, reflect on our growth, and embrace the non-conformity of Paradise.

Strike Out, Grace Garlesky

STRIKE OUT

YO U A R E N OW L E AV I N G

PA R A D I S E