Growing Pains

An Ephemeral Existence

SHOOTS TEAM ON SITE Cate Adams, Reese Hafner, Giovanna Moceri, Emma Edy Morris BEAUTY Helen Trawick MODEL Gillian Bennett PHOTOGRAPHER Lily Fox

WRITTEN BY Alyson Brinkley EDITED BY Lexi Fernandez & Noelle Knowlton VIDEOGRAPHER Chloe Mueller LAYOUT Taylor Kirby

THE FETISHIZATION OF FEMININITY

As you age, the desire to compare your matured figure to your pre-pubescent body rises from within like bile in the back of your throat. Standing before the mirror, you shoot daggers at your new appearance in distaste, resentful of the fact that your glare alone cannot shave off the filled-in curves to resculpt your figure to reveal your sixteen-year-old body. Eyebrows, now waxed out of their roots, become thinner as stomachs get slimmer. Your features become more refined, yet are hidden underneath the acne scars of your once porcelain skin. As you find yourself complicit in the objectification of your seven-year-old self, the line between the beauty standard and subliminal pedophilia becomes blurred.

The changes that come naturally as you’ve lived within the home of your skin—cellulite, stretch marks, hips, and wrinkles—become labeled and vilified as “imperfections.” This desire to embody the prototype of a woman who takes up as little space as possible is what feeds the vicious cycle of the beauty industry. The female body has become a mere vessel for marketing that creates a bottomless demand for changes and upgrades. In turn, the feminine physique has become a crucial building block for capitalism.

As we are conflicted by these changes from within, sexuality piques our curiosity. For as long as we can remember, men have been spoonfed images of hairless, petite women dressed in schoolgirl skirts, and the pornography they have consumed since the age of their own puberty has conditioned them to sexualize prepubescence. We strive to embody this girlish adaptation of womanhood to satisfy the male gaze, denying ourselves the right to exist in our natural state. In turn, these boys turn into men who have been socialized to expect this unrealistic unwoman. The pedophile with the most to blame and who can never be prosecuted is the media.

As to not villainize the consumer, we must realize that attraction is a product of the individual’s environment. Aside from widely accessible pornography, social media serves as a mainstream instrument of infantilization, where algorithms curate a feed of minors to develop and satiate one’s debauched sexual desires. Such content directly sexualizes children, where many subjects are minors themselves, while others are adult women in childlike cosplay posed to the tune of baby voice audios. We must hold our media accountable for victimizing young girls and attempting to put bodies into boxes.

The beauty standard can no longer be labeled as internalized infantilization: it’s become externalized in its power to create outward actions. The victimization of young girls is profitable for industries and pedophilic preferences alike. As women, we have to desire to take up the space our body needs, as it’s meant to be a bearer of our lives and not a landmark for visual consumption.