Prioritize your child’s mental wellness

Wellness Matters

Helping kids cope with today’s stressful world

BY ANAMARY PELAYO CONNERY

It’s no secret that the pandemic has taken a toll on everyone’s mental health, including children. With a new year of in-person learning kicking off for most students, some may be returning to school with lingering feelings of anxiety. “There’s been an enormous amount of loss that’s occurred with the pandemic,” says Amanda Zelechoski, a clinical and forensic psychologist and the co-founder of Pandemic Parenting, a nonprofit organization that provides science-based resources to parents. “We’re all still reeling from the effects of that.”

Many children have missed sports seasons that were canceled; others were not able to celebrate milestones like birthdays or school graduations with their friends and extended family. Some children have even suffered the profound loss of relatives due to COVID-19.

And the abrupt absence of face-toface time with educators and peers has also affected many students’ mental health. “My preschooler had always been confident and rarely asked for help, but once virtual learning started, basic tasks became hard,” Zelechoski says. “He was struggling without his social connections and started to doubt his own abilities.”

One survey conducted by the nonprofit ParentsTogether Action found that up to 70 percent of kids reported feeling sad, worried or overwhelmed more often than they did before COVID-19. And according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, emergency room visits for mental health reasons increased significantly among children between the ages of 5 and 17 during the pandemic.

Recognizing there’s a problem is one thing, but knowing the proper way to handle the issue can be challenging. Not all children respond to stress the same way, making it more difficult to know when there’s a more serious problem. “Younger children tend to externalize their feelings and show disruptive behavior, such as throwing tantrums, while older kids tend to internalize more,” Zelechoski says. “They withdraw and isolate themselves.”

However your children react when faced with stress, avoid minimizing or dismissing their feelings by saying, “Everything is fine” or “It will be OK,” says Tania Paredes, a family therapist in Miami. “It’s important to validate their feelings. Let your child know that it’s OK to be scared, sad or nervous. Then suggest talking about why, and what might make them feel better.”

Teaching your children to take three deep breaths when they’re anxious can help them press reset, especially if there’s a safe space they can go to do it, Paredes says. A calming corner or basket filled with items that feel familiar and comfortable, like a cuddly teddy bear or a soft blanket, can be helpful for younger kids. Others may prefer fidget toys, a set of art supplies to draw or paint or some time alone in their rooms to journal or strum a guitar. “It’s important to talk openly about the

UP TO 70% of kids reported feeling sad, worried or overwhelmed more often than they did before the COVID-19 pandemic.

SOURCE: ParentsTogether Action

different coping mechanisms available to them, so it becomes part of their everyday narrative,” Paredes explains. If school is the primary source of anxiety, try putting a stress ball in their backpack and encourage them to seek out familiar faces at recess or lunch.

Keep in mind that while some added stress is expected as a result of more than a year of dealing with COVID-19, Paredes and Zelechoski say severe changes in appetite or sleep or abrupt mood swings may be signs of more serious mental health conditions. Other red flags include hesitating to be around people, including those in their social circles, and expressing difficulty with activities that they enjoyed pre-pandemic.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, if younger children exhibit behaviors such as excessive bedwetting, clinginess or constant irritability, parents should seek medical advice or outside support. “As parents, it’s important to be humble and recognize when something is beyond our capabilities and ask for professional help,” Paredes says. “If you’ve done everything you can think of, and your child is still having a hard time functioning, ask them if they’d like to talk to someone who isn’t you. Most kids will say ‘yes’ (to help) as long as we normalize it.”

It’s also important to remember that not everything about the pandemic was negative. “For some kids, this experience was helpful,” Zelechoski says. For example, some children never had to independently manage their time before. Learning this skill has helped them feel more confident and independent. “Take time to note the aspects of this experience that your child may want to hold on to, however small,” says Paredes. After all, a tiny win is still a win.