Style Magazine - Folsom/El Dorado Hills - January 2013 by Style Media Group

7 DETOX DIETS | FITNESS AND FOOD TAILORED TO YOU | THE ARTS: Joyce Auteri ™

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healthy living JANUARY 2013

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, S W O H S T A E R G ! E S O L C P U THREE STAGES AT FOLSOM LAKE COLLEGE PRESENTS

’ GANG: THE ACTORSARTUFFE MOLIÈRE’S T TUE 1/29

LOS LOBOS SUN 1/13

LEVARD NUNSET BOU1/14–16 MON–WED

instrument,” in the history of the af from az lor So ). ny Pat Methe & Grammy-winning ar “simply superb sc me ga -ti da ree Ma th Worldwide), LD OUT acoustic SO op ely op E liv a Afr ( LIV s E t” rm en LIN rfo rm ific DRUM Perfo magn band pe pm Machado, musicians nsored Thu, Jan 10, 7:30 Broadway by four endary Afro-Brazilian Celso Gore. performance. Spo . leg dio ian e Ra Br who mastered th perfect” and IGN founder by Capital Public Mark Hummel’s owout h Bl foursome in a “pitc ted Press) Fri, Jan 25, 8 pm Sun, Jan 13, 7 pm Blues Harmonica cia ica ing performance (Asso hting and An all-star harmon Rick Estrin, Nunset Boulevard An Acoustic Even T lig c sti s ta r, iam fan ste ill h Le W at zy ne Black dy La be int Cin g Cl rin ith EY & VINCEN lineup— ar W St IL lar A cu ta n D … ec joi ain sp — ag “A on . it ils eo T! W ne vid OU do vintage LY SOLD Kenny Neal, Kim “The ‘nuns’ have the audience NEAR 26, 8 pm and (NBC THU 1/17 Baty and Joe extravaganza…did ah!” t, Jan lly funny laughs” ent Sa fu guitarists Charlie sin ye , to pm tribute t installm love it? Yeah, yeah ). Wed, Jan 30, 7:30 Louis Walker in a red News). This lates so lphia Inquirer series of de ed ila lov Ph ( llith we W e Jimmy Reed. Spon . th in An Evening pm features Radio s Fri, Jan 18, 7:30 7:30 pm by Capital Public Nunsense musicals averne & Branford Marsali & pm 2 , 19 “L n pm of r 8 Ja my winner , am Sat, Gr pular sta me po -ti Fri, Jan 11 e th ree th A ® with wacky, and Sun, Jan 20, 2 pm & 7 pm , us n rld’s most rio tio wo ila sa e “H er th .” nv of ey e Shirl from on Keyboard Co ). ws Ne C AB ( al families, ’ ” sic as le! mu ab om Rasta Th unpredict distinguished Jeffrey Siegel rl Ca e al nc sic pm Da is known for mu Bad Boys Of Mon, Jan 14, 7 Branford Marsalis d broad “He may just be a xing rtaining, te en an , pm Mi 7 tic ). irit , es sp hle 15 at n , ive Tim Ja xy at Se Tue, his innov Sagan” (LA BRANFORD d by & 7 pm tely dazzling ce with fun—and “absolu obe). al scope. Sponsore Wed, Jan 16, 2 pm sic mu virtuosic performan ffrey n Gl MARSALIS dio. y, Je dancing!” (Bosto perstar Capital Public Ra lively commentar e third Dailey & Vincent su ee blu nc w pm da th ne th by 30 ed d wi 7: , de rat ns THU 1/31 Siegel retur “The most celeb few years” Foun omas (Dance Theater of Thu, Jan 31 ncerts this co l t Th ica las ss sta e — th Ra cla r ng of t Ga fou ’ ac of s t), they have The Actors in the Age of gras rk Times). They have Harlem, Kirov Balle Hall and Molière’s Tartuffe season, “Schubert sored by (New Yo ie s eg as rn gr Ca on ue in Bl Sp l ” ed r Tim na te. rm the Sound By won the Internatio tertainer perfo 0 cities performing for Under artistic directo The . dio En , 15 Ra c n’s am ed bli rh tio ur Pu to Du cia al ll so pit Bu Ca Music As Robbins ( ree times. BAD BOYS demption), The 500,000 fans. Re k an Sun, Jan 13, 1 pm sh the Year award th taking aw of Sh pm 30 7: , st 24 o be n y Ja ’s mo stic En Viv OF DANCE “A new dynasty ma sic” (Wall Thu, Gang are one of LA mbles. Los Lobos: Acou ght Ni r mu ita s se s, Gu en ras l de eg na ca tre tio de blu ea Interna THU 1/24 shape in enduring th For over three e traditional of U2, no world’s finest gui). l “th ion na , the pt ur of ffe ce Jo t rtu ex me Ta e So ree th St ith “with gather on one W pm raps hit the yed on top tarists/composers ne of the Thu, Jan 17, 7:30 Comédie-Francaise eless other band has sta Los (“o r ylo tim s Ta as n re’ g rti lié stage. Ma floor, and Mo of its game as lon e). The sears solo guitar players sy e cri on om po St es g hy aw llin on st Ro ( ult mo sa as Lobos” ). es Tim anew” (LA pm Tue, Jan 29, 7:30 Experience IN The Beatles in RA on ed 300 times

Three Stages at Folsom Lake College

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ThreeStages.net * A renaming of Three Stages is under way. The new name, The Harris Center for the Arts, honors Dr. Brice Harris, Chancellor Emeritus of the Los Rios Community College District, for his many contributions to the capital region.

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“The Uncensored Message that My Wife Asked Me Not to Write…” Dear friend, Well, at first, my wife asked me not to write this. We had a big discussion about it. Finally, she understood what I was trying to do, and actually helped me write this letter to you. Here’s the thing. In my office, most of the people that come in to see me tell me they’ve “tried everything.” They’ve had “every” test, wound up with huge medical bills, and are still no better off. Often, they’ve been subjected to medications that have only served to temporarily mask symptoms. That’s not what most people are looking for.

might never regain feeling again in her left leg. A friend of mine convinces me to give his doctor a try. This new doctor does an exam takes some films, and then ‘adjusts’ my wife’s spine (he tells us there is compression in her body creating pressure on the nerves that are affecting her legs.) The adjustment is very gentle, and post exams and films are taken to assure the adjustment is successful.

Health, or the lack of it, very often has simple causes, and very reasonable corrections. That’s what I’m going to tell you about. But, before I tell you more, let me On the way home from our visit tell you something about me… my wife states that she felt At the time, I’m about to become a tingling in her legs! Oh, did I brand new father. For nine months mention that this doctor is a my wife and I are excited and a bit chiropractor? Within a few short nervous to meet our unborn months, she has full use of both daughter. Then it happens, my legs. I’m so impressed with the wife is having complications so the results, and the other ‘miracles’ doctor induces her one month that are shared with us at his early. The labor is exhausting and office, that I eventually went to the cord is wrapped around my chiropractic school myself. And daughter’s neck. With no time to that’s how it happened! spare, the doctor delivers our baby by way of forceps. Our newborn is Back to what my wife (at first) lifeless when we first meet her, and didn’t want me to write. It’s that my wife is physically, mentally, chiropractic is one of the biggest and emotionally spent. “secrets” in health care. Few people (relatively, only 10% have After a week in the intensive care been to a chiropractor) know unit my daughter, Aislyn, is well about it. And many of the rest enough to go home. Sadly, my could be helped if they only knew wife is not doing well. She has the true story. My wife could have limited use of both of her legs and been confined to a walker or is checked out of the hospital with possibly a wheelchair had we not a walker. Our lives become a been encouraged to seek challenge as she cannot carry our chiropractic care. So, I often feel baby from room to room, and I am like shouting it from the away most of the day. The doctor’s mountaintop! Is that at the hospital are perplexed so “professional?” Well, maybe it is, they refer us to a neurologist. We or maybe not. But, I’ve decided left with a grim prognosis that she people should know.

Many of my patients travel well differently to care, but we get over an hour each way to see me terrific results. It’s that simple! for various problems like: Exciting Offer-Look, I know you’re smart. You want to get to  Headaches the cause of your problem, and not  Migraines just cover it up with drugs. When  Chronic pain you are one of the first 20 people  Neck pain to call and schedule a new patient  Shoulder/arm pain exam (by January September 31, 28,2013 2012)  Whiplash from car you’ll receive that entire exam for accidents $37. That includes x-rays, a  Backaches computerized postural analysis  Numbness in limbs and a detailed report of findings.  Athletic injuries The whole ball of wax, and, there Just to name a few… are no hidden fees. But, call right away because we expect to be Here’s what some of my flooded with calls as this exam patients had to say: normally costs $275. Again, there’s only 20 of these slots, so After my first adjustment, it don’t miss out and call today (by law, this offer excludes was like the floodgates were open. . I have been twisted up Medicare/Medicaid recipients.) for over 20 years and for the Great care at a great fee…Please, I first time I am moving in the no hope that there’s right direction. misunderstanding about quality -Sam W of care just because I have a lower exam fee. You’ll get great care at Dr. Hassey’s technique proves I a great fee. My qualifications…I’m didn’t have to be in pain for the a Summa Cum Laude graduate of Palmer College of Chiropractic. rest of my life. I was able to get I’ve been entrusted to take care of back to the active life I enjoy. tiny babies to pro athletes that -Toni S. you may know. I just have that low exam fee to help more people who As amazing as this may sound, I need care. have been symptom free since my first visit! My assistant is Katie and she is a -Greg G. really great person. Our office is both friendly and warm and we try our best to make you feel at After many years of major home. We have a wonderful shoulder pain, I saw Dr. Hassey service, at an exceptional fee. Our and after a few corrections the office is called NUCALI SPINAL constant pain was gone. CARE and it’s at 1200 Suncast -Tod J Lane, El Dorado Hills, CA. Our phone number is 916-626-4300. I have more stamina, am less Call Katie today for an stressed and I have increased appointment. We can help you. energy. Thank you and God bless. - Tantra M. -Matthew Hassey, D.C. Several times a day patients thank me for helping them with P.S. When accompanied by the their health problems. But I can’t first, I am also offering the second really take the credit. The truth is family member this same that I’ve never healed anyone of examination for only $10. anything. What I do is perform a specific spinal adjustment to remove nerve pressure, and the body responds by healing itself. Of course, all people respond

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

what’sinside ™

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JANUARY 2013

FEATURES

DEPARTMENTS

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38 Fitness and Food Tailored to You

24 The Arts

8 Editor’s Note 10 Click 13 Ask the Experts 15 What’s Up 16 Get to Know – Mary Mast 18 FYI 20 Calendar 22 Shelf Life 34 Swag 50 Dine – Willow Café & Sweetery 53 Restaurant Guide 56 Taste 58 Escape – St. Augustine 62 Introducing 64 Outtakes 66 Tom’s Take

Stop wasting time with workouts and diets that aren’t meant for you. Learn about your specific body type and how to streamline the shape of your dreams.

44 The Skinny on 7 Detox Diets

Joyce Auteri

28 Our Kids

5 Discipline Mistakes & Simple Solutions

30 Cause & Effect

The Glass Slipper

32 He Said/She Said

The Truth About Trust

36 Home Design

Celebratory meals and festive drinks have taken their toll on your energy tank. Now you’re thinking of detoxing...but is it safe? Local doctors shed light on this weighty issue.

Historic Kitchen Gets Modern Facelift

special ADVERTISING SECTION

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6 stylemg.com - January 2013

Photo © Africa Studio/fotolia.com.

Don’t let pain stop you from hitting the slopes.

LIVEthe Life You Love Summit Orthopedic Specialists offers a comprehensive array of minimally invasive surgical techniques, including the groundbreaking MAKOplasty® Partial Knee Resurfacing, for a quick return to the activities you love. For urgent problems, visit our Orthopedic Urgent Care Center. Let Summit help you reach your peak. Call (916) 965-4000 or visit www.mysummitortho.com

Above: Paul Sasaura, M.D., has performed more MAKOplasty® Partial Knee Resurfacing procedures than anyone in the region.

Robert Cameto, M.D., is an avid skier and founding member of Summit Orthopedic Specialists

6403 Coyle Avenue, Suite 170 ▲ Carmichael, CA 95608 ▲ (916) 965-4000 ▲ www.mysummitortho.com

Left: Hunter Greene, M.D., provides comprehensive sports medicine care to athletes of all ages.

editor’snote

We’d love to hear from you – send us your community events (for Calendar and Outtakes), local news (for What’s Up), and any other story ideas to info@stylemg.com. 8 stylemg.com - January 2013

Photo by Dante Fontana.

something I new

nstead of pledging self-improvement right out of the gate this year, it occurred to me to take some time to reflect on my accomplishments this past year. I know that may sound like any one of the following: cheesy, complicated, or perhaps too time consuming for the Kentucky-Derby-paced lives we lead. But hear me out. When I read an email recently that suggested we do this every year just as we take part in the tradition of making resolutions – I thought to myself, “Yes, instead of thinking of all our shortcomings first…how about we allow ourselves to take credit where credit is due for a change.” And just so we’re clear, an accomplishment does not necessitate you climb Mt. Everest or open an animal shelter. In my dictionary (this is where relativity comes into play), a triumph is anything you’ve done that has resulted in a positive outcome. I let my mind wander back and came up with a list of personal kudos. It felt good; better than thinking about all that I’ve yet to accomplish. Here’s one achievement from my notes: I workout now...and it’s wonderful! A year prior, a kettle ball was a very foreign object. I could easily dwell on the negative and say, “I should work out more often.” But not this year, I’m doing something new, I’m keeping balance on the brain (and internal criticism to a minimum.) Something else novel to me – a detox diet. I’ve had a few friends over the years participate in a myriad of so-called “cleansing” eating regimes, some involving only cayenne pepper, lemon juice and water. That certainly can’t be safe...so which ones are? Kourtney Jason clears up the issue in “Coming Clean: The Skinny on 5 Detox Diets” that includes the most popular diets and notes from local doctors on both their effectiveness and safety. To round out this issue – in which we celebrate health in the new year – Jenn Thornton shares some secrets to success for streamlining your fitness goals in “Your Best Body: Fitness and Food Tailored to You.” It’s simple: find your body type and follow the rules meant for your figure – whether you’re shaped like a fruit or a stick, feel and look better with these customized exercises and foods... just a few pages away. Start 2013 with something new...and your old friend, Style! — Desiree

Whole Foods Market速

KIDS CAMP January 2nd-4th Class times and age groups: 10am - 11:30am 6 - 8yrs old 1pm - 2:30pm 9 - 12yrs old 15 kids max - each class $15 per class Sign up at eventbrite.com Space is limited.

Whole Foods Market

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End SHOPPING GUILT: 7 PRODUCTS THAT GIVE BACK After splurging this year on gifts for friends and family…and even yourself, you could be experiencing a little buyer’s remorse. Now that it’s New Year’s resolutions time, kick that guilt with a purchase of any of these cool feel-good finds.

flicks with style Check out what’s blowing up big screens with Style movie-guru Justin Buettner’s thoughts on more January movie releases.

RECIPES TO JUMP-START YOUR HEALTHY NEW YEAR

Wacky Tacky

10 INDOOR ACTiVITIES FOR ANTSY KIDS Weekends at home can get old really fast when the kids need to burn off pent-up energy and the adults can’t watch one more reality TV show. Click to find Style’s suggestions for new todos around town.

10 stylemg.com - January 2013

CONTESTS Do you want to win FREE loot? We’ve got goodies from businesses in the local area, and we’re giving stuff away! Simply stop by stylemg.com/contests for your chance to get lucky! Enter once per day. Tell your friends!

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Photos courtesy of their respective companies.

Whether you’re a vegetarian, vegan or just want to add plant-rich recipes to your current weekly menu – new cookbook The Karma Chow Ultimate Cookbook: 125+ Plant-Based Vegan Recipes for a Fit, Happy, Healthy You by Melissa Costello (HCI Books, 2012, $18.95) offers simple yet tasty alternatives to our sinful favorites such as mac & cheese, burgers, shepherd’s pie and more. How do Euphoria Nuggets sound? Get this recipe and more.

™

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JANUARY 2013 Publishers Terence P. Carroll, Wendy L. Sipple Executive Editor Desiree Patterson Managing Editor Megan Wiskus Editorial Interns Jamila B. Khan, Paris Ryan, Kelly Soderlund Contributing Writers Abigail Blank, Darren Elms, Amber Foster, Kourtney Jason, Tom Mailey, Lesley Miller, Bob Parkins, Corrie Pelc, Sharon Penny, Roberta Ratcliff, Jennifer Resnicke, Richard Righton, Jenn Thornton Art Director Gary Zsigo Graphic Designers George Kenton Design, 760.285.0686, gkenton@verizon.net, Lesley Miller, Aaron Roseli Staff Photographer Dante Fontana Webmaster Ken White, Ixystems Advertising Director Debra Linn, 916.988.9888 x 114 Advertising Sales Representatives Tami Brown, 916.988.9888 x117 Reg Holliday, 916.337.5107 Joanne Kilmartin, 916.607.9360 Carrie McCormick, 916.988.9888 x112 Lynn Orr, 916.988.9888x118 Lisa Warner/Warner Enterprises, 530.306.2011 Social Media Maven Aimee Carroll Accounting Manager Kathleen Hurt

Office Assistant Cathy Carmichael, Brenna McGowan Customer Service Associate Jarrod Carroll

Printed on recycled paper. Please recycle this magazine.

P.O. Box 925 • Folsom, CA 95763 Tel 916.988.9888 • Fax 916.596.2100 © 2013 by Style Media Group. All rights reserved. Style - Folsom El Dorado Hills is a registered trademark of Style Media Group. Material in this magazine may not be reproduced in any form without written consent from the publishers. Any and all submissions to Style - Folsom El Dorado Hills become the property of Style Media Group and may be used in any media. We reserve the right to edit. Subscriptions to Style - Folsom El Dorado Hills are available. Contact info@stylemg.com for more information.

12 stylemg.com - January 2013

asktheexperts

Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions.

are the benefits of recycled ink Q: What cartridges? Will using them reduce my print quality? and toner cartridges can be reA: Ink manufactured and reused many times, which reduces the amount of waste going into landfills and the need for brand new materials to be used. For the consumer, remanufactured cartridges generally cost 20-50 percent less than new ones. It can be a huge money saver! The key word here is “remanufactured.” A remanufactured cartridge is much different than a “refilled” or “recycled” one. Remanufactured cartridges have the same quality and yield as a new cartridge, while refilling a cartridge can cause problems with print quality and possible printer problems. Remanufactured cartridges are completely disassembled and cleaned, worn parts are replaced, and new toner is installed. Remanufacturing restores cartridges to meet OEM specifications at a much lower price. — Cindy Raley, Public Relations T3 Sustainable Office Supplies & Recycling Rancho Cordova, T3toner.com of my old silver fillings are beginQ: Some ning to not look so good. What can be done to improve them? due to the nature of A: Unfortunately, amalgam (silver) fillings, there is no sure way to improve their aesthetic. Just as silver tarnishes over time, so will these amalgam fillings. However, dentists have a few options. One is to replace the older amalgam fillings with bonded composite resin fillings, which are adaptable and formed specifically to the color, form and bite of the patient’s tooth. It will be up to your dentist’s discretion as to whether the current amalgam filling is replaceable with a bonded composite resin filling. In certain cases, the tooth with the silver filling may not have the adequate structure for a replacement; under these circumstances, a porcelain crown may be the restoration of choice. —Wayne K. Tsutsuse, D.D.S. Aloha Family Dental 1020 Suncast Lane, Suite 103 El Dorado Hills 916-941-2447, alohadentaledh.com

January 2013 - stylemg.com 13

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what’sup

elcome to 2013 – here’s to a happy and healthy new year!...Revolutions Natural Medical Solutions in Folsom has added a fourth naturopathic doctor to better serve the holistic health care needs of the area. Niki Young, N.D., from Phoenix, Arizona, will specialize in women’s medicine and IV nutritional therapy. Dr. Young is a member of the American Association of Naturopathic Physicians (AANP) and is a licensed naturopathic doctor in California and Arizona. For more details, visit revolutionsdocs.com... Total Wine & More, America’s largest independent retailer of fine wine, spirits and beer, opened a new store in Folsom at 2765 East Bidwell Street on November 29...Join the El Dorado Hills Nite Knitters, a knit and crochet group, on the second Monday of each month from 7 to 9 p.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center. Drop-ins and those new to knitting and crochet are welcome. For more details, call 916-358-3575...The WIN (Women In Networking) of El Dorado Hills group is a relationship/referral network designed to support local businesses through developing relationships and synergistic partnerships. The group meets every Tuesday for lunch and networking at Side Bar from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. To learn more,

Photo courtesy of WIN.

WIN

visit wineldoradohills.com...Recently the Palladio at Broadstone announced the grand opening of new stores, including California sweet shop, See’s Candies, urban gift store, Kwirkworld, teen’s and women’s apparel store Charlotte Russe, and Folsom’s relocated paint-it-yourself ceramic studio Color Me Mine. For more details, visit gopalladio.com...On the second Thursday of every month, the Folsom Film Society presents the work of independent filmmakers at Three Stages. This month’s featured film is The

January 2013 - stylemg.com 15

Interrupters and will play on January 10 at 6:30 p.m. For more info, visit folsomfilmsociety.org...Dignity Health announced Michael Ricks as the new president of Mercy Hospital of Folsom. Ricks brings 16 years of professional health care experience in acute-care hospital leadership to his new position. With Mercy, Ricks will provide strategic and operational leadership, while overseeing expansion, diversification and the continued delivery of quality health care...Jimboy’s Tacos Folsom

(708 East Bidwell) has teamed up with the Muscular Dystrophy Association of Greater Sacramento & Northern Nevada to help “Make a Muscle” for those affected by neuromuscular disease. Through January 15, guests at Jimboy’s can make a donation with their purchase, and this past December 15, the Folsom location donated 15 percent of all sales to the MDA...That’s all for this edition, but check back next month for Style’s annual Home Design feature. — Compiled by Jamila B. Khan

SEND YOUR NEWS TO: INFO@STYLEMG.COM

•

gettoknow

Q&A Q: What advice would you give to your younger self? A: Follow your dreams and don’t worry about meeting the expectations of society’s definition of accomplishment in life. Q: What comes to you naturally? A: I enjoy helping other people. Q: Biggest life inspirations? A: My mother and grandparents Q: What are you most proud of? A: I’m very proud of the dedicated volunteers at the Folsom History Museum and Pioneer Village. Q: Favorite humanitarian cause? A: Compassion International is my favorite ongoing cause – my husband and I have financially supported several children for at least a dozen years. Q: Best words of wisdom you’ve received? A: “Well done or not done at all.”

hen Mary Mast saw an ad looking for a museum director at the Folsom History Museum, she instantly knew she was the woman for the job. A longtime Sacramento resident until her move to Folsom in 2005, Mast had long wanted to live here. “I love the bike trails, the river, the foothills . . . the beauty of the area,” Mast says. Before working at her current post, she worked as an elementary and junior high school teacher for more than 18 years, in addition to periods of time spent working in marketing and sales. These seemingly disparate careers gave Mast just the right skills for her new position at the museum, where she man-

16 stylemg.com - January 2013

ages a staff of 45-plus active volunteers, plans new exhibits, and helps raise funds to maintain, innovate and service the museum. She especially loves watching the school groups who come through Pioneer Village, the “living museum” where children get to directly interact with the history of Folsom through hands-on activities such as panning for gold. For Mast, who is also a member of the Heritage Preservation League, it’s all about conserving the history of Folsom for future generations. Mast says, “We want people who have lived in Folsom all their lives to know that their stories and their family’s stories will be told and preserved.” — Amber Foster

•

Q: What’s next? A: Traveling and grandparenthood… hopefully!

favorites Author/writer: Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte Guilty pleasure: Dark chocolate Meal in town: Hampton’s on Sutter Local landmark: The Wells Fargo building Movie: Pride and Prejudice Musician/band: Forever a Rod Stewart fan! Place to buy a gift, locally: Ambiance Local nonprofit: The Folsom Historical Society Annual event: Cattle Drive Saying: “Plan ahead or plan to fail.”

Photos by Dante Fontana.

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folsom parks and recreation Focus on Fitness

olsom Parks and Recreation programs can help you get your fitness routine back on track…or trail. The Winter/Spring Activity Guide includes an extensive selection of dance, exercise and sports programs for every age, from preschoolers to seniors. PRESCHOOL FITNESS Selections include swim lessons, Itty Bitty Sports, Pre-K Kickers and dance programs. Classes focus on having fun while teaching children fundamental skills required to play a variety of sports or dance forms. Many of the programs require parent participation; classes are offered for 18-month-olds to 6-year-olds. YOUTH AND TEEN FITNESS Selections include a variety of dance styles, taekwondo, wrestling, tennis, volleyball and many league sports. Programs provide an introduction to a variety of activities, while participants learn how to work in a team environment, develop coordination and flexibility, and have fun while engaging in physical exercise. Programs are offered for those 5-18 years of age. ADULT FITNESS Selections include dance, yoga, boot-camp-style workouts, tennis, Zumba, Pilates, lap swim and aquacise, as well as many sports leagues. Programs allow participants to try a new activity or improve on existing skills, and many are offered on an ongoing basis; some programs allow mature teens to enroll. SENIOR FITNESS Selections include yoga, Pilates, physical fitness, aquacise, Zumba and the popular “Walk and Talk” program, which takes place on some of Folsom’s beautiful trails. Seniors may also enroll in adult dance programs and sports leagues. OUTDOOR WORKOUTS Folsom’s recreational trail system provides more than 36 miles of beautiful paved trails, with access points within most of the city’s neighborhoods and near businesses and retail centers. Research shows that “green exercise” – walking, jogging, cycling or hiking in natural areas – has a positive impact on mental as well as physical health. A map of Folsom’s trails can be found at folsom.ca.us/depts/parks_n_recreation/bike_trails/ bike_map.asp. Printed versions are available for $2 each at the 48 Natoma Parks and Recreation registration desk. — Lesley Miller To browse the complete selection of fitness programs, visit activityguide.folsom.ca.us; for more information, call 916-355-7285.

folsom zoo spotlight

Meet Echo the Mountain Lion

andsome mountain lion Echo came to the Folsom City Zoo Sanctuary via Southwest Wildlife Rescue in the fall of 2012 from an Arizona “confiscation case.” Mother mountain lions spend nearly two years teaching wild survival techniques to their offspring. Although more than half of California is mountain lion country, you may never see one of these big cats in

18 stylemg.com - January 2013

the wild; they’re solitary and avoid people. Echo quickly became accustomed to the other rescued mountain lions – females Flash and Cedar and older male Rio – in his new family. With the passage of Proposition 117 in 1990, mountain lions became a specially protected species; therefore, hunting them in California is illegal.” — Roberta Ratcliff

the10 spot New Year, New You It’s 2013…meaning the Mayans were wrong! To celebrate the feat, Style shares tips to help you kick off the new year the healthy way. 1. Reset your internal sleep clock by getting eight hours for six weeks straight. You’ll “program” a healthy new sleep routine and boost your metabolism. 2. Visit a local café or take a different route to work. The brain craves novelty and little changes to your daily routine can make you feel younger. 3. Start your meals with fruits and vegetables. Loading up on vitamins and antioxidants will give you that refreshed feeling. 4. Try a healthy happy hour. Instead of hitting up a bar, reconnect with friends by taking a walk or hitting the gym. 5. Not motivated to go to the gym? Prepare the night before by laying out your workout clothing, sneakers and gym membership ID. Visible cues will inspire you to get your behind in motion. 6. Big dishes and utensils result in big trouble for your waistline. Join the Small Plate Movement Challenge (smallplatemovement.org) by eating off a 9- to 10-inch plate for your largest meal of the day for one month. 7. Avoid eating food from its original container. By doing so, you fail to see how much you’re actually eating. 8. Quit smoking – for your health, your loved ones and the planet. 9. Hold the salt. Excess sodium means bloat, high blood pressure and the risk of developing other cardiovascular diseases. To start, curb your intake of processed foods and pay attention to nutritional labels. 10. Slather on sunscreen. Harmful UVA and UVB rays can cause brown spots, make wrinkles appear before their time and…oh yeah, skin cancer. Apply a broad-spectrum SPF 30 daily. — Jamila B. Khan

Folsom Parks and Recreation photo courtesy of Folsom Parks and Recreation. Folsom Zoo Spotlight photo by Judy Bujold.

fyi

foodie find BJ Cinnamon

edhcsd

January Traditions JANUARY 5-6 CHRISTMAS TREE RECYCLING & CHIPPING

Foodie Find photo by Aaron Roseli.

This CSD/Waste Connections-sponsored event will take place at the Community Park from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturday, and 9 a.m. to noon on Sunday; free, but cash donations will benefit the Community Supporting Youth Fund. To prepare, remove everything from the tree including all ornaments, lights, ornament holders, nails and stand. Please note: Trees that are “flocked” are not eligible for chipping. Discarded wreaths, garlands and greenery with metal, plastic, wire, lights or ornamentation are not considered green waste; place them in your trash cart. Residents have a choice of: 1. Bringing trees to the Community Park either day. 2. Utilizing the Boy Scout curbside tree collection fundraiser on Saturday, January 5. 3. Cutting the tree into small pieces and placing it in the green waste cart (make sure it’s not so packed in that it’ll get stuck in the cart when being emptied) for green waste collection week. 4. Taking trees to the Recycling Center at 4421 Latrobe Road in El Dorado Hills. 5. Taking trees to the Material Recovery Facility in Diamond Springs. For more information about this event and other happenings, visit edhcsd.org or call 916-933-6624. January 2013 - stylemg.com 19

t’s hard to miss BJ Cinnamon’s bright yellow sign on East Bidwell Street. Located near Historic Folsom, this quaint donut shop is quite the hangout. Inside, yellow and orange tiling and faded images of doughnut holes and cups of Joe gird the spacious and meticulously clean interior. While I contemplated my order, a constant stream of patrons – a mixed bag of high schoolers, retirees and nine-to-fivers – made their way inside. Those in a hurry swiftly exited with pastry in mouth; this place must be good if a donut “disappears” two steps out the door. The bright display case was packed with frosted, sprinkled and cream-filled confections, but I couldn’t resist ordering the Pecan Sticky Bun next to the cash register. The massive bun was the size of my hand, and if that wasn’t enough, the very charming owner gave me a red velvet donut to taste. (We are now the best of friends.) With each flakey forkful, I was treated to crunchy candied pecans and gooey cinnamon and sugar swirls. Simply put, it was a decadent sweet treat and the perfect way to jump-start my Friday morning. If you’re looking to wake up your taste buds, make a visit to BJ Cinnamon, 402 East Bidwell Street, Folsom. 916-608-8824, bjcinnamon.com. — Jamila B. Khan

calendar

january events January is National Blood Donor Month Compiled by Jamila B. Khan

Drumline Live Based on the hit movie, this marching band extravaganza brings explosive percussion, resounding brass and dazzling choreography to Three Stages. The performance will begin at 7:30 p.m. To purchase tickets, visit threestages.net.

The California Theatre Center presents this lively musical comedy of a clever teacher masquerading as a nasty substitute. Multiple performances will be held throughout the day; recommended for grades K-5. For times, ticket prices and more details, visit threestages.net.

Third Annual Evening with Cary Farley

Local musician and teacher Cary Farley performs a melodic mixture of alternative and contemporary rock with a five-piece band – piano, guitar, cello, mandolin, bass and drums – in a benefit for the Mustard Seed School. The performance will be held at Three Stages, beginning at 7 p.m. For more details, visit threestages.net.

El Dorado Art & Wine Festival Show your support for MORE’s adults with developmental disabilities and local youth programs. Twenty local wineries and 20 different caterers and restaurants will be serving at the Main Hall at the El Dorado Fairgrounds, starting at 6 p.m. With live, silent and dessert auctions, and some of the most unique artwork available anywhere, this event promises something for everyone. For more details, visit morerehab.org.

Bring your family and friends to the rink for a nostalgic winter adventure. Hit the ice daily from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. (last session begins at 8 p.m.); after you’re tuckered out, peruse the Sutter Street shops. For more details, visit folsomicerink.com.

21 25-27

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Jesus Christ Superstar Come see the uproarious production of this lively musical, presented by the Lakehills Youth Performance Arts Group. Five shows in total will be performed at Lakehills Covenant Church in El Dorado Hills. This performance is also scheduled to be performed February 1-2. For more details, visit lakehillschurch.org.

25-Mar. 7

Cityscapes and Alleyways Head to the Gallery at 48 Natoma to peruse urban-themed oil paintings by Anthony Montanino and color photography by Keith Berger. For gallery hours and more details, visit facebook.com/ thegalleryat48natoma.

24th Annual Folsom Jazz Festival Middle and high school jazz bands from across California and Nevada will compete in this lively musical competition. Proceeds will support the Folsom High School Music program. For festival updates and to purchase tickets, visit folsommusic.org.

For even more events happening in our area, log on to our Web site: stylemg.com and click on Calendar. And, be sure to check out our Blog! Send your events to info@stylemg.com.

20 stylemg.com - January 2013

All photos courtesy of their respective companies.

This three-time Grammy-winning band will set down their electric instruments and pick up their guitarones, jaranas, and bajo sextos for a lively acoustic performance of their Latin catalogue in traditional and contemporary styles. Performance will begin at 7 p.m. at Three Stages. For more details, visit threestages.net.

Moliere's Tartuffe

Miss Nelson is Missing

Ice-Skating in Historic Folsom

Los Lobos: Acoustic En Vivo

Under the artistic direction of Tim Robbins, The Actors' Gang enters its fourth decade as an engaging theater ensemble that tackles political humor and Moliere's ageless tale of envy, deception and hypocrisy. The performance will begin at 7:30 p.m. at Three Stages. For more details, visit threestages.net.

NEW YEAR'S DAY

thru 21

1 6

more events January 5 – New Year’s Duathlon. Benefiting Girls on the Run, this free twomile run and 6.5-mile road bike race starts at Granite Beach and winds through the oak forest bordering Folsom Lake. All athletes will be provided with post-race soup and refreshments. For more details, visit tbfracing.com. January 10 – The Interrupters. Sponsored by the Folsom Film Society, this remarkable film, directed by Steve James, tells the moving and surprising story of three dedicated individuals who try to protect their Chicago communities from the violence, which they themselves once employed. The screening begins at 6:30 p.m. at Three Stages. For additional details, visit folsomfilmsociety.org. January 10 – El Dorado Social Media Business School. Part of an eight-part series held on the second Thursday of the month, the El Dorado Chamber offers this opportunity for local businessmen and women to learn more on how social media can raise business awareness. The course will be held at Business Workspaces (5170 Golden Foothill Parkway) in El Dorado Hills from 9 to 10:30 a.m. To sign up, call 916933-1335. January 10-13 – International Sportsmen’s Exposition. For more than 37 years, this has been the premier sportsmen’s show in the western U.S.; view the newest innovations in hunting, fishing, outdoor sports and adventure travel. The four-day all-day event will be held at Cal Expo. For ticket details, visit sportsexpos.com. January 13 – Sacramento Antique Faire. Vendors from throughout the West Coast will sell antiques, collectibles, furniture, vintage clothing, art, jewelry, military antiques, silver, glassware and much more at this famous faire. This year’s event will be held at 2300 Front Street in Sacramento. For more details, visit sacantiquefaire.com. January 13 – Keyboard Conversations with Jeffrey Siegel: Schubert in the Age of the Sound Byte. Jeffrey Siegel returns for a third performance in his four-part series at Three Stages. In this show, sponsored by Capital Public Radio, Siegel will introduce the audience to glorious melodies and incandescent harmonies of Schubert. The performance will begin at 1 p.m. For ticket details, visit threestages.net. January 18-20 – Rain: A Tribute to the Beatles. You know all the songs, you know all the words – but odds are you never saw The Beatles on stage. With Rain, four musicians master the legendary foursome

in song and nuance and are accompanied by vintage video. For tickets and times, visit threestages.net. January 19 – The Common Good Classic. Showcasing 12 northern California high school varsity boys/girls teams, this basketball tournament will bring competitive regulation games to Antelope High School. Proceeds will support foster youth in The True North Project. The competition will begin at 11 a.m. For tournament details, visit truenorthproject.org. January 25-27 – Northern California Home and Landscape Expo. Whether you’re planning to build, remodel or simply redecorate, the Home and Landscape Expo at Cal Expo promises to bring you the largest gathering of professionals to help with your home project. For admission information, visit homeandlandscapeexpo.com. January 27 – The El Dorado Epicurean. For one night only, the area’s finest chefs will be assembled to prepare lucky ticket holders a delicious four-course dinner, from a choice of 10 different itineraries. Reservations are required and space is limited. To purchase tickets, call 800-4576279 or visit eldoradocounty.org. January 27 – Second Annual Bridal Event. Held at the beautiful Helwig Winery, anxious brides-to-be can prep for their big day by learning from the area’s premier wedding vendors, while enjoying sparkling wine and scrumptious hors d'oeuvres. There will also be exciting giveaways and special parting gifts for brides. To learn more, visit helwigwinery.com. January 31 – Capitol Goes Red Day. To help raise crucial awareness in the fight against heart disease in women among California policymakers, the American Heart Association and the Legislative Women’s Caucus are sponsoring an annual Wear Red Day at the State Capitol from 8:30 to 11 a.m. The event will offer blood pressure and body fat screenings, educational literature, hands-only CPR training and heart healthy snacks. For more details, call 916-446-6505.

SAVE THE DATE! February 2 – Sacramento Museum Day. For the 15th year, visit 30 museums for halfprice or free admission. Presented by the Sacramento Association of Museums, this day is designed to encourage all members of the community to experience the region's incredible wealth of art, history, science and wildlife at little cost. Fairytale Town will also offer half-price admission on Sacramento Museum Day from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. For more details, call 916-808-7777.

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January 2013 - stylemg.com 21

shelflife

then&now by Sharon Penny

ALBUMS

BOOKS

DVDs

THEN:

Sandinista! – The Clash The Clash’s 1980 triple album is a bit of a punch line among fans – a bizarre everything-but-the-kitchen-sink follow-up to London Calling, which many considered Clash perfection. Featuring everything from children’s choirs and reggae to dub and rap, the scale of Sandinista! is daunting, but there are so many gems – “Police on my Back,” “Charlie Don’t Surf” and “Magnificent Seven.”

Longitude: The True Story of a Lone Genius Who Solved the Greatest Scientific Problem of His Time by Dava Sobel Until the 18th century, the inability to accurately calculate longitude took a toxic toll on sea expedition – until the invention of the chronometer, which changed sea travel and exploration completely. Longitude tells the fascinating story of the chronometer’s inventor, John Harrison, the only one to propose a mechanical solution to a matter of life and death.

Roman Holiday Just to say the names Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn is to define “classic,” so when the two pair up for a fun Vespa-filled adventure, it could only be pure magic. Directed by the Oscars’ most-nominated director, William Wyler, Roman Holiday first introduced the effervescent and beautiful Hepburn to movie-going audiences, and began the love affair that still continues today.

NOW: ¡Tré! – Green Day Following up from the earlier releases of ¡Uno! and ¡Dos!, ¡Tré! completes Green Day’s most ambitious musical undertaking: an epic 37-song trilogy. From Dookie-era fast-burn punk to the lyrical pop-punk of recent years, as well as newer orchestral stadium epics, the trilogy highlights the evolution of a small punk trio from Berkeley to a Broadway show, multi-Grammy powerhouse…proving their rock ‘n’ roll heart still beats harder than ever.

NOW: The World Until Yesterday: What Can We Learn from Traditional Societies? by Jared Diamond Jared Diamond, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Guns, Germs, and Steel and Collapse, takes another enlightening look at ancient civilization. With a more personal focus, Diamond draws upon his extensive fieldwork in the Pacific Islands, and other regions, to illustrate that modern and ancient civilizations are not that far apart.

NOW: To Rome with Love Dovetailing onto the critical success of Midnight in Paris, Woody Allen’s world travelogue continues with what some fans and critics are saying is one of his funniest recent movies. To Rome with Love is a rollicking love story to the city of Rome, boasting an all-star ensemble cast featuring Alec Baldwin, Roberto Benigni, Penelope Cruz, Judy Davis, Jesse Eisenberg, Greta Gerwig, Ellen Page and of course Woody himself.

FLICKS WITH STYLE – The Last Stand Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in his first lead role since 2003’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. In his newest action comedy, Schwarzenegger is a small-town sheriff who takes on a drug cartel. If you’re a fan of his trademark one-liners, you’ll enjoy the probable many…along with a few cinematic pokes at the star’s age. In theaters January 18. —Justin Buettner For Style movie-guru Justin’s thoughts on more January movie releases, visit stylemg.com and click on Flicks with Style! And, for even more, visit facebook.com/flickswithstyle.

22 stylemg.com - January 2013

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thearts

24 stylemg.com - January 2013

joyce auteri From Heart to Hand by Abigail Blank

hen weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re young, we all have dreams about what we want to be when we grow up. Some of us proudly proclaimed we would be a doctor, a teacher, a firefighter, or the ever-popular rock star. Yet few of us grab hold of that vision and make it veracity. Having the bravery and passion to make her dream come true is only part of what makes Joyce Auteri, a mixed media artist from Folsom, truly exceptional. A California transplant by way of the East Coast, she followed her family to the Sacramento area in her early 20s. While her childhood was filled with wonderful opportunities to express her creativity, as with most people, the responsibilities of everyday life led her down a path of conventionality. After years spent in the telecom industry, Auteri came across a

Until they speak to me, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re just colors. book called Taking Flight by Kelly Rae Roberts, which inspired her to get back to her artistic roots. Her initial approach was cautious, reintroducing herself to a variety of mediums until she found ink. Deciding to play with its uses, she grabbed some remnant tiles and let her imagination run wild. She presented the completed tiles to her friends via Facebook, without revealing they were her own work, and asked people what they thought. After a resounding response of excitement, she set her sights on having her own gallery January 2013 - stylemg.com 25

thearts space at Petra Vineyard Wine and Sutter Street Art Gallery. In June of 2012, the opportunity presented itself, and she jumped on it. Though Auteri doesn’t create her pieces in collections, they tend to comprise themselves into groupings. “I create intuitively,” she explains. “There’s no intention behind them.” But that doesn’t mean they are wholly abstract works. Instead, Auteri allows the color and form to dictate what they will become. Her paintings often morph into a distinct image during the creative process. “Until they speak to me, they’re just colors,” she says. The trajectory of her career has been astounding. Within the first two years of working professionally, Auteri has already accomplished what takes many artists years, even decades, to achieve. “It’s surreal...wonderful. My friends tell me I’m glowing,” she says. “It’s beyond words.” And, if it weren’t for the fact she’s given people so much to talk about, it would be. Since becoming a member of the Sutter Street Artists and the Folsom Arts Association, she has gained a large following of fans, selling pieces almost as quickly as she can create them, and was selected as one of only 20 artists to be part of the Top of Folsom 2012 Art Show. Yet she remains humble, offering only this thoughtful insight into her uncanny success. “My ultimate goal is to inspire others to discover their soul essence and live it!”

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Visit joyceauteri.com for more information.

Save the Date! February 1-3 – Lenaea Theatre Festival. Now in it’s 57th year, the festival presents a 3-day event at Three Stages in Folsom. More than 55 West Coast high school theatre programs will perform one-act plays, monologues, scenes and songs and receive professional feedback. For more details, visit threestages.net.

26 stylemg.com - January 2013

Photos by Dante Fontana.

artbeat

entist vorite D Voted FaDorado Hills in El

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ourkids

She explains kids operate on emotion and what they want right now, while adult brains are about planning and thinking ahead.

time out 5 Discipline Mistakes & Simple Solutions by Corrie Pelc

sk any parent what the hardest part of parenting is, and discipline will be at the top of the list. However, many parents make the same errors – causing the role of caregiver to be more difficult and stressful than necessary. Here’s a look at five discipline mistakes commonly made by parents and their quick fixes.

SIMPLE SOLUTION: Sady says to know the difference and talk to your child in their “feel language” – “I know that’s how you feel, I know that’s what you want” – but as a parent, help them learn the consequences of their potential actions, such as not studying for a test.

2. INCONSISTENCY

1. KID BRAIN ≠ ADULT BRAIN

Sometimes parents will be inconsistent in their discipline by allowing their mood or other factors to set a consequence, rather than what the actual behavior of the child was, says Dr. Tanda Almont, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder and director of the Monarch Center in Roseville.

One mistake parents make is assuming their kids think the same way they do, which is not the case, says Fay Catlett Sady, L.C.S.W., M.P.H., a clinical social worker and therapist based in Placerville.

SIMPLE SOLUTION: Parents should make a list of the top behavior problems they have with their child, along with agreed upon consequences. “The same behavior

Before it’s all about him, we make it

equals the same consequences; therefore, it’s predicable and consistent,” Dr. Almont says.

3. BE A PARENT, NOT A FRIEND Another mistake Sady sees are parents focusing on being their child’s friend rather than their parent. And by focusing on a friendship rather than parenting, Sady says parents are more inclined to give in on rules because they want their child to like them. SIMPLE SOLUTION: According to Sady, if you want your child to grow up as a happy and responsible adult, then they have to learn there are limits and rules in life. “Allowing kids to break rules will not help them become responsible adults,” she adds.

4. BE BALANCED Dr. Almont says for effective discipline, you have to have a good balance between positive attention and appropriate discipline with clear consequences. “Positive attention is the glue that makes

the discipline work,” she adds. SIMPLE SOLUTION: Praise the admirable behaviors that tend to go unnoticed, Dr. Almont says. For example, if your child is sitting quietly in their chair, tell them how happy it makes you, “because if they’re not sitting quietly in their chair, you are going to say something,” she explains.

5. CHILD SEE, CHILD DO

Photo © Mat Hayward/fotolia.com.

Lastly, Sady says parents sometimes forget their children will learn by what they see their parents do. “Kids will handle problems like you do, they’ll handle anything like you do...they are mimicking and copying you, and what you do is what they will learn,” she explains. SIMPLE SOLUTION: Instead of yelling, screaming and using aggression to get what you want from your kids, Sady says to use respect and firmness in a caring manner, and don’t be surprised when your kids respond in a similar manner to you. “It may take some time, but it will happen – kids behave the way they’re taught to,” she says.

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cause&effect

the glass slipper Helping At-Risk Girls Live Fairy Tales

(L to R) Top Row: Adrianna, Holly and Judi Bottom: Jennifer, D. Jackie Guzman and Christina

earing a woman refer to the Mariposa Hospitality House – the primary training site of the Citrus Heights-based nonprofit, Glass Slipper – as her “dream home” (one that provided the now volunteer with an opportunity for self-improvement as a girl, and a place that she hopes will one day host her nuptials) is the fondest memory of the organization’s director, D. Jacqueline Guzman. “The house is lovely,” Guzman confesses, “but the fact that she envisions us in her life is what touched my heart.” Fitting, you might say, as the Glass Slipper – run 100 percent by volunteers – is all about touching hearts and transforming lives. Since its inception in 1997, the nonprofit’s mission is “to inspire women and girls to discover their true identity in a not-so-fairy-tale world and empower them for a brighter future.” The organization believes that every girl should have the opportunity to discover her inherent value and full potential. This belief drives Glass Slipper’s wide, purpose-driven scope of services: a comprehensive slate of enrichment activities, self-development programs, life skills and coaching that represents the nonprofit’s commitment to moving at-risk girls ages

12-18 in foster care toward self-sufficiency. The results are on display at Mariposa Hospitality House, which operates a culinary program while offering merchandising and customer service training through the IMAGE Boutique. Most crucially, perhaps, is that Mariposa provides positive role modeling in an on-the-job setting the organization calls “the ideal learning laboratory.” Spanish for butterfly, “Mariposa” signifies Glass Slipper’s emphasis on internal and external transformation. Emotionally, programs address core issues related to restoring one’s self-esteem. In support is a beauty salon that supplies complimentary, confidence-boosting cosmetology services. Particularly significant to the overall success of the nonprofit is arguably its very backbone: mentorship. “As a gender-specific organization, we understand girls,” Guzman explains. “We know having someone to trust and share life with is critical. So, we serve as positive role models who genuinely care about their future… Mentoring has always been a key part of our program and is the glue that holds everything together.” The arrival of 2013 finds Glass Slipper expanding its reach. Currently operating Alex at the salon

(L to R) Christina, Holly and Jennifer

(L to R) Alex, Adriana and Selena

the IMAGE Academy, a self-development program at multiple community locations, the nonprofit will roll out an after-school program in the Sacramento City Unified School District this month. In March, plans call to rebuild Mariposa Hospitality House’s old garage; upon completion, the new structure will boast a commercial kitchen and more than double the square footage to expand its culinary training, as well as a great-room concept with seating for more than 40 girls at dinner. Replications of Mariposa Hospitality House, including a residential housing component (transitional housing) for young women aged 18-24 emancipated from the foster care system in multiple communities, is also in the works. The Glass Slipper’s ambitions are impressive, but no more so than its ultimate goal. “Our hope,” Guzman says, “is to create beautiful memories of their youth, and to be in their lives [through] adulthood.”

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For volunteer opportunities, more information, or to make a donation, visit glassslippergirls.org. 30 stylemg.com - January 2013

Photos by Dante Fontana.

by Jenn Thornton

hesaid/shesaid

the truth about trust Q & A with Therapist Bob by Bob Parkins, LMFT

t’s often said that trust is essential to a healthy marriage, and once broken is very difficult to rebuild. Struggling couples frequently ask how they can rebuild trust once it’s been lost, to which I always reply, “Consistency over time.” Time and consistency may be the essential ingredients, but many couples struggle with exactly how this is done. Below are common questions I’m often asked about various types of trust.

shared, he’ll need to prove himself through progressive changes over time, not only in abstaining from porn but in the way he relates to you and others. If he’s unable to stop his compulsiveness, he most likely will need help from a qualified therapist.

Q: I was furious when I discovered my

Q: I’ve been having difficulty being honest with my husband about myself. I rarely share anything beyond my daily routine, and certainly don’t share my feelings. He seemed to be a good listener when we dated, but now I don’t even know if he cares. Should I be opening up anyway?

wife had been reading my journal. When confronted, she angrily accused me of being deceptive and said there should be no secrets between spouses. Now I’m confused and have stopped journaling. Am I wrong to keep a private journal?

BOB: Reading your journal without permission is a violation of trust and respect for your privacy. Processing your thoughts and feelings in a private journal is in no way keeping secrets from your wife. Her angry accusations are merely a deflection from her violation. She might rebuild your trust by acknowledging this and respecting your privacy in the future.

Q: After repeatedly catching my husband with porn, I moved out of our bedroom. Every time the issue comes up, he gets angry, accuses me of being unforgiving, and won’t stop asking when I plan to move back in. I know he feels terrible, but how can I trust him again?

BOB: Your husband’s anger is masking the shame and guilt he no doubt feels. You can’t change him, but if he wants to restore the trust you once 32 stylemg.com - January 2013

BOB: Withdrawing from your husband is how you’ve protected yourself, because the relationship hasn’t been emotionally safe enough to share this part of you. However, withdrawal is only a temporary coping solution; without addressing the underlying issues, the two of you will continue to drift apart.

Q: My wife and I have been struggling financially for years, and even though we’re being directly impacted by the economic downturn, she continues to hide purchases and not curb her spending. I don’t trust her with money, and now we can barely pay the mort-

gage. In order to regain control of our finances, should we separate our money?

BOB: Money can be a highly emotional issue and is one of the top five subjects couples experience significant conflict over. Couples who can’t trust each other financially not only struggle with basic household business, but it’s usually a symptom of even deeper issues. Separating your money may be a practical short-term answer, but won’t likely solve the problem. The best solution is to see a financial expert to develop an agreed upon financial strategy, as well as a marriage counselor.

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Bob Parkins is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and can be reached at 916-337-5406, info@bobparkinslmft. com or bobparkinslmft.com.

me ho ay m aw fro me dog’s ho ur Yo