Submerge Magazine: Issue 189 (June 6 - June 22, 2015)

Page 1

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas June 8 – 22, 2015

#189

mewithoutYou Make the Moment Last

Jay & Silent Bob

Get Old Right in Front of Our Eyes

Midtown

Mastermind

Robert Berry Live and Loud

Madness

Two Sheds The Birthing

Entourage

The Boys Are Back in Town

Process

Micah Crandall Bear Event Horizon

free


LittLe ReLics Boutique & Galleria

908 21st Street (between I & J) Midtown Sacramento 95811 916.716.2319 www.littlerelics.com

&

BOB PeTeR Herron Wedel ART SHOW Old friends with new ideas. Bob photograph’s it, Peter paints it. Show runS June 2 to June 28

Artists Receptions:

thursday

saturday

6-9 p.m.

6-9 p.m.

June June 11 13

BOB HerrOn PHOtOgraPHy

Peter Wedel fine art

1517 21st street sacramentO 916.704.0711 starlitelOunge.net

Open Daily at 4 pm

events calendar thurS. june 11 8pm

fri. june 19

kING MaGNetIC

Golden State drum & BaSS preSentS:

the Gas statIoN ChaRlIe MusCle ReCoRDeD fReeDoM RIot CRaIG + MoRe

IVRY | Nesta | CaseY V autopsY | tG ClaRk INtalekt | Dos

fri. june 12 8pm

Castle | kYNtallah ColD Blue MouNtaIN CRIMsoN eYe

feat. GQ NothIN pRettY

Deke DICkeRsoN

aND the eCCo-foNICs

kB aND the slINGtoNes Sat. june 13

fri. june 26

8pm

GIaNt sQuID aeQuoRea shaDow lIMB thurS. june 18

8pm

luNCh Vasas

2

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

every weDnesDay! 8 pm | free Open mic cOmeDy Jam

8pm

8pm

RhYthM DRaGoNs the DeVIl’s tRaIN the MoaNs

supeR MeGa eVeRYthING Ghost ColoR

Happy HOur mOn - fri 4 tO 7 pm

Sat. june 20

thurS. june 25

8pm

wed. june 17

8pm

8pm

GRaVeshaDow aRRows of aGoNY the eDGe of paRaDIse fRoM hell Sat. june 27

8pm

BIpolaR | salYthIa MalColM BlIss stalkING DIstaNCe

every friDay serving american style tO 5:30 7:30 pm Bill mylar’s Hippy HOur

quality cOmfOrt fOOD alOng witH fresH & HealtHy cHOices

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


9426 Greenback ln, Orangevale tickets available at dimple records, armadillo records , or online at theboardwalkpresents.com * unless noted all shows all ages

coming soon thursday july 2 the Griswolds

july 10 sNow tha ProduCt

friday

Mercedes Avenue

thursday

june 11

friday

Oh! The hOrrOr

june 12

kryPTic MeMOries brOke dOwn wAsTed

hOsTed by Mickey TilTz sOunds by dj eddie z

june 13

saturday

friday

june 19

july 11 Ces Cru

saturday

july 12 the adolesCeNts / the weirdos suNday

wedNesday

july 15

from autumN to ashes july 17 stePheN PearCy friday

Voice of RATT

saturday

cOdy brAzil 3di$On, reMMyOTb And

saturday

june 20

tuesday

june 23

AlTessA wOlf & beAr

TwO PeAce wednesday

june 24

thursday

june 25

july 18

the Battle for summer slauGhter / all stars friday

july 24

too short suNday

auG 2

like moths to flames

7 MinuTes in heAven AsTrO sAfAri crAsh The PArTy, sky, inTerneT friends

friday

june 26

SubmergeMag.com

j Terrible, nO Genre, MOdern dAy PrOfiTs, The leGiOn Of d.O.O.M. saturday

june 27

saturday

VIC MENSA

as Cities BurN saturday

All GeT OuT

TOwkiO

june 30

auG 15

orGy

tuesday

auG 25

stolas

wiTh sPeciAl GuesT

tuesday

auG 8

Mercedes Avenue

wednesday

Oh! The hOrrOr

july 1

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

sePt 17 BowliNG for souP

thursday

3


coMinG to GraSS Valley GeT TicKeTs NOW! friday, June 12

friday, June 19

thurSday, June 25

Edgar Winter Albert lee feAturing Band

Cindy CAshdollAr

Steve Smith and vital information

nyc edition

$24 members, $27 non-member Saturday, June 27

Saturday, July 11

Sunday, July 26

Grand fiddlers rally

Karla Bonoff and nina Gerber

Matt andersen

VeteranS MeMorial auditoriuM $23 members, $25 non-member

$27 members, $30 non-member

$22 members, $24 non-member

Sunday, auGuSt 16

WedneSday, SepteMBer 30

alasdair fraser’s 10th annual

$62 members, $67 non-member

$27 members, $32 non-member

WedneSday, July 29

WedneSday, auGuSt 12

todd rundgren

Skatalites

Global Tour 2015

Special Guests: monkey

Prices range from $37 - $62

$20 members, $24 non-member

thurSday, July 16 – Sunday, July 19 ceNTer For THe arTS PreSeNTS

King Sunny ade & his african Beats lucinda Williams Band | Beats antique richard thompson |Buffy Sainte-Marie Sambadrop | emisunshine | dengue fever dakhabrakha |Makana | las cafeteras John trudell & Bad dog |Sean hayes portland cello project | Birds of chicago todo Mundo | Mariee Sioux | Mamuse

The Traveling Kind Tour:

tinarewin $37 members, $42 non-member

emmylou harris & rodney crowell

VeteranS MeMorial auditoriuM Prices range from $32 - $250

8 StaGeS of MuSic

children’S proGraMS • WorKShopS • dance artiSanS • caMpinG • international food

the Sam chase | tuba Skinny | lolo Gervais | achilles Wheel Saritah | daniel champagne |Joy & Madness | Boca do rio Kacey Johansing | Justin ancheta Band | honey of the heart Sunmonks | izzi tooinsky - the Wild Man | Secret agent 23 Skidoo Brian hartman - heartbass | nadi - travelers Music Brett Shady Band | Musical robot | the heifer Belles

at the Beautiful neVada county fairGroundS

GraSS valley

visit Worldfest.net for camping & day tickets

530.274.8384 • 314 W. Main St, GraSS Valley all shows at our intiMate Main Stage theater unless otherwise noted

B e co m e a m e m B e r & Sav e

For a complete listing of events visit:

thecenterfortheartS.orG 4

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

*Ticket prices do not include applicable fees

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


dive in

cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

189 2015 june 8 – 22

cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.”

senior editor

James Barone

– Ernest Hemingway

Assistant Editor

Daniel Taylor

Contributing Writers

It’s really hard to come up with words to describe how I’ve felt over the past month. It seems like one thing after another, bad things happening to good people. I’ve always been one to try and look at the bright side of things but good God man, this past month has sure taken its toll. And it’s been a huge reminder: life just isn’t fair. A couple weeks ago, you may have heard about the truck that collided with a Light Rail train down by J and 7th streets (you know, by all the obnoxious arena construction). That night on the news I saw how the truck looked wedged halfway underneath the tram and couldn’t believe anyone survived the accident. A couple days later I learned that the driver of the truck was one of the nicest Sacramento business owners that I’ve ever met, Sean Derfield. He reached out to Submerge back in 2009 and started advertising his business, River City Saloon, because he believed in what we were doing. We saw him go through all the ups and downs of opening his other business in Midtown, Der Biergarten. He struggled with the city because they weren’t used to the shipping container look. But finally after all the setbacks, Biergarten opened in late 2013 and turned out to be one of my favorite, unpretentious and (bonus) dog-friendly outdoor bars in the Midtown area. So when I learned it was Sean in that accident, my heart sank to discover that it was someone I knew, someone who is leaps and bounds beyond what I would call simply a nice guy. From what I understand, while he did suffer severe injuries (five broken ribs, broken left leg, slight break in his top vertebrae in his back) it will be a long road ahead, but on the bright side, he will eventually recover. I just wanted to let you know, if you’d like to also wish Sean a speedy recovery, there’s a banner up at Der Beirgarten for people to sign. I believe it will be there until either Wednesday, June 10 or Thursday, June 11. If you have the time, get in there and Sharpie the banner up because there’s nothing better then feeling the love and support of locals. Last but definitely not least, one more slap in the face reminder that life isn’t fair. A few years ago I used this column to tell you about one of our editors, Mandy Pearson, having to take time off from editing because she

Zach Ahern, Amber Amey, Joe Atkins, Robin Bacior, Andrew Bell, Bocephus Chigger, Ronnie Cline, Justin Cox, Alia Cruz, Josh Fernandez, Catherine Foss, Andy Garcia Blake Gillespie, Fabian Garcia, Lovelle Harris, Eddie Jorgensen, Niki Kangas, Nur Kausar, Ryan Prado, Steph Rodriguez, Andrew C. Russell, Amy Serna, Jacob Sprecher

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Contributing photographers

David Adams, Wesley Davis, Evan E. Duran, Phill Mamula

Submerge

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18

12

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Dive in

16

The Stream

07

The Optimistic Pessimist

crandall18 micah bear

09

Submerge your senses

10

robert berry

12

mewithoutyou

20

two sheds

Calendar

25

the grindhouse

26

the shallow end

entourage

1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, California 95816

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media. All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 1009 22nd Street, Suite 3 Sacramento, California 95816. Or you can email us at info@submergemag.com. front Cover Photo of micah crandelL-bear by nicholas wray back Cover Photo of two sheds by Katherine Sheehan

Submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter & Instagram! @SubmergeMag printed on recycled paper

Last Cut wasn’t so super? Get it fixed at anthony’s barbershop 2408 21st st • Sac • sacramentobarbershop.com (916) 457-1120 • Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm

was diagnosed with cervical cancer. After a year or so of treatment the cancer was gone and she returned to having a “normal” life. She eventually was able to return to editing Submerge, and we even got her to skydive with the Red Bull Airforce because, well, you only live once. I’m regretfully informing you that her cancer has returned and as she told me, “It’s back with a vengeance.” It has spread to different parts of her body. As soon as she found out a month and a half ago, she was prepared to start the fight once again. Mandy has already gone through several rounds of chemo and radiation and for the second time is enduring a huge amount of setbacks both emotionally and financially. While Mandy and her husband do have health insurance, surprise: it only covers a fraction of her everyday medical expenses. Mandy has not only been a dear friend for over a decade-and-a-half, but she has also helped Submerge over the past six or seven years with her top-notch editing skills. She knows when and when not to use a comma (she is quite the “comma Nazi”), she factchecks articles to be sure our features have correct info like dates and the correct spelling of proper nouns, and when needed, she even gives our writers the necessary feedback to make their features the best they can be. If you enjoy reading Submerge and/or you or a friend have ever been featured in this free publication and could afford to spare a dollar, or more, I ask you to make a donation at Giveforward.com/fundraiser/mwz8. No pressure though. If you aren’t in the spot to give, maybe you could share the link on your social media, or there’s even an option on the page to give a virtual hug. I hope this column wasn’t too much of a downer, but I guess when trying to see the light in things, there’s always something you can do. Whether it be sending a positive thought, donating money, or signing a banner that says “get well soon.” Every little thing you do makes a difference in the eyes of those in need. Please enjoy issue #189! There are plenty of words throughout these pages that make this crazy world slightly more manageable, Cheers, Melissa

Nicholson’s MusiCafe 6 3 2 E . B i d w E l l S t. F o l S o m

916.984.3020

June 9

June 13

June 14

June 16

June 20

wesT CoasT songwriTing CompeTiTion

The Common man Band

Jon nolan

Beginning Bluegrass CluB

6 - 9 pm

6 - 9 pm

wednesdaYs 6 - 9 pm

SubmergeMag.com

Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com

12 - 2 pm

fridaYs 6 - 9 pm

acouStic opEn mic

opEn mic night

6:30 - 8 pm

nicholsonsmusicafe

dr. hall 3 - 6 pm songwriTers showCase 7 - 9 pm gerard moran & george sheldon

saTurdaYs 1 - 2 pm

FREE ukulElE claSS

Live Music. Beer On Tap. Organic Coffee. Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

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The stream

&

Aftershock Festival Announces Massive Lineup, Set for Oct. 24 & 25 at Gibson Ranch

Vans Warped Tour Brings Nearly 100 Bands to Shoreline Amphitheatre June 20 Jonathan Carabba

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

DOORS: 7:00PM • SHOW 8:30PM

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT TICKETS.COM

Sacramento Community Theater • Sacramento Convention Center Complex, 1400 J Street, Sacramento, CA

HARRIS CENTER 10 COLLEGE PARKWAY, FOLSOM, CA 95630

HARRISCENTER.NET 6

13

THURSDAY AUGUST

SHOW 7:30 PM

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Marilyn Manson

Silverstein

Deftones

Beartooth

Death From Above 1979 On May 26, 2015, the lineup officially dropped for what will likely be another record-breaking Aftershock Festival. Fans of rock and metal are sure to flip their shit when they learn that pretty much every heavy band ever is making their way to Sacramento’s Gibson Ranch on Oct. 24 and 25. Saturday night will be headlined by Slipknot, Shinedown, Marilyn Manson, Breaking Benjamin, Seether and Bring Me the Horizon. Just a few of Saturday’s openers include Clutch, Black Veil Brides, P.O.D., Sevendust, Helmet and All That Remains. But Sunday’s lineup is where it’s really at, in our humble opinion. Headlining that night will be Faith No More, Deftones, Jane’s Addiction and Stone Temple Pilots. The undercard for Sunday is off the hook too, featuring Coheed and Cambria, All Time Low, Death From Above 1979, The Sword, Glassjaw, Red Fang, Suicidal Tendencies and many others. Tickets are on sale now and are available online at Aftershockconcert.com, or you can snag them in person with no service fees at any Dimple Records location or at Thunder Valley Casino Resort. Two-day general admission tickets are currently $114.50 and single day tickets are $64.50, but make sure to hurry, because prices will go up soon. There are also VIP options, hotel packages and, for the first time ever, Aftershock will also offer camping options. Hit up their website for all the juicy details and keep an eye out in future issues of Submerge for more Aftershock coverage.

Riff Raff Can’t wait until Aftershock to get your rock/ punk/metal fix? Head to Shoreline Amphitheatre on Saturday, June 20 for Vans Warped Tour! Although we’re bummed Warped skips over the Sacramento region nowadays, it’s nice to know that ticket prices are still reasonable enough (just $39.50 plus fees) that you can afford to fill up the gas tank to make it down to Mountain View. Nearly one hundred bands (yes, you read that correctly) are set to perform, including many old school/throwback acts like Silverstein, Senses Fail and Motion City Soundtrack. They join a ton of popular younger bands like Attila, Beartooth, Emarosa, We Came As Romans, Pierce the Veil and many others. As always, Warped isn’t just all about the distorted guitars and screaming vocals, either, as there are a few alt/hip-hop acts to look for like Mod Sun, Riff Raff and MC Lars, as well as some electronic/ dance artists like Black Boots, ChrisB and Drama Club. There are even some spoken words artists (Jake Ducey and Trey the Ruler) and a few acoustic/pop acts as well (This Wild Life and Buttons, to name a couple). Get out there and discover some new music! Tickets are available online at Vanswarpedtour.com or in person at many of the region’s Walmart stores, which act as “Ticketmaster retail outlets.”

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


The Optimistic Pessimist The American First Act of 2015 A terribly wonderful thing happened the other day. The folks at the NSA are hoping you didn’t notice, but Congress failed to renew a few key provisions of the Patriot Act, like the ones that let the NSA hoover up all of your metadata from the phone companies and store it indefinitely for inspection. Oops! Making this officially the only good thing he has done, Rand Paul pulled a filibuster again and made Congress miss the deadline. Calls for celebration from privacy advocates were short-lived as the Senate passed replacement provisions two days later. Fortunately, the new provisions include some of the reforms suggested by the millions of investigations run by both Congress and the White House. This was all to the chagrin of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who had previously called for an extension of the existing Patriot Act, so I’m guessing he is plotting his revenge now. I would not be surprised if he called his revenge bill something stupid like the American First Act. These morons in Congress love acronyms, so it would probably stand for something like “Allowing Me Extensive Rights In Case America Needs to Frisk, Incapacitate, Restrain, Sabotage or Track Act,” because that’s how Mitch rolls. He wouldn’t just stop at the name, though. He, and people like Lindsey Graham and John McCain, want you to believe that this country is constantly in grave danger. For them, we can never be too safe, so we might as well turn the keys over to the NSA and let them do their thing. Lindsey Graham, being the good Southern gentleman that he is, is probably trying to convince his esteemed colleagues that under the American First Act, your mother should always be allowed to enter your bedroom without a warrant, because he was raised to believe that a child should not hide things from his mother. John McCain would probably agree and add that the government shouldn’t need a warrant to make your mother search your room either. Mitch, being the slow, slick turtle that he is, would probably chime in last and say that all of those ideas sound great and that after the bill passes they can tack an amendment on to an unrelated bill changing the definition of “mother” in the American First Act to include “Officers of the United States Government,” as well. They'd be off to a smashing start if they actually came up with something as sophisticated as that plan. But as scary as that is, I don't think they'd stop there if given the opportunity. Lindsey Graham seems like

SubmergeMag.com

Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com

someone that wants to know who all the perverts are. He's heard about all of those dirty things you sick boys look at on your computers and he wants you to tell him what you are into and which websites you visit. McConnell, who hasn't seen a naked body in years, will think that is a great idea and will also ask that everyone be required to provide nude photographs of themselves to the government for identification purposes. McCain is too old for sex, but he would like to know what this whole internet thing is about, so he would probably be on board for the whole shebang. Your dirty sex secrets probably still won't be enough for the crusty white trio. So torture it will probably be, but that still won’t likely be enough for the crusty white trio. McConnell would have barely come out of his shell by that point, and he’d surely have one final zinger of his own. If there is one thing that Mitch McConnell hates more than anything else, it’s Barack Obama. Mitch has prided himself on being a thorn in the president’s side for the past eight years. He has been unrelenting to the point of pettiness many times, so there is a good chance he would do something like that again. Mitch would probably suggest that, under the American First Act, sitting presidents and candidates for the office of president who make it through the primaries will be vetted by the NSA with the results given only to a select group of congressmen. Those congressmen will get to choose what is made public. With a chuckle, McCain will next add that the president and every president hereafter must provide copies of his birth certificate to any member of Congress that requests it so as to appease crazy constituents. Lindsey Graham would just shake his head and say something like, “Mercy me, you boys are incorrigible!” This totally could be happening. Perhaps all that’s left to decide is when to drop this bomb. Team mom, Lindsey Graham, is officially running for president now and passing the American First Act won’t be a problem if he wins. Of course we all know that he won’t, but Mitch and John hate making Lindsey cry. He always cries until John and Mitch hug him for like five minutes and it’s just not worth it, so hopefully they wait until Lindsey Graham becomes president before they try and pass something like the American First Act. Otherwise we are fucked, so keep your fingers crossed, America!

2708 J Street Sacramento 916.441.4693 HarlowS.com MASoN JENNiNgS

JAMES gArNEr’S tributE to

rAul MiDoN

JoHNNY cASH

PHoEbE briDgErS

SAturDAY

SuNDAY

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6 /13

WEDNESDAY

6 /10

6 /14

friDAY

5:30PM $20adv

6 /19

5:30PM $15adv

Cali agents DurAg DYNAStY

8PM $15adv

rEPlAcEMENt KillErS | lYric JoNES

tHurSDAY

6 /11

5:30PM $20

Hot club of coWtoWN AN EvENiNg of Hot gYPSY JAzz & couNtrY SWiNg

tHurSDAY

9PM $12.50adv

eleCtriC six WHitE rEAPEr

friDAY

6PM $10

oH! tHE bAND(rocK & roll covErS) clASSic ADDitioN

friDAY

9:30PM $10

Dark siDe of the abbey roaD

SAturDAY

9:30PM $13adv

6 /11

6 /12 6 /12 6 /13 MoNDAY

6:30PM $8 all ages

tuESDAY

6PM $20adv all ages

WEDNESDAY

7PM $15adv

6 /15 6 /16 6 /17

tHurSDAY

6/18

MElt bANANA

Hot NErDS | xtoMHANx (rEcorD rElEASE SHoW) DogPooKiE Party & tHE PooDlEz

oDD futurE tour:

MiKE g | lEft brAiN | bizArrE SPEAK | PYrAMiD vritrA HoStED bY MiND goNE lArrY

orgone

tHE NtH PoWEr

Eric liNDEll

5:30PM $20adv

*all

times are d o or times*

COMING SOON 06/19 06/20 06/20 06/21 06/23 06/24 06/25 06/25 06/26 06/27

Whiskey N’ rye (lAtE) Super Huey (EArlY) Duran Duran Duran vetiver Jen Kirkman (coMEDY) glen David Andrews Jonathon richman fairground Saints (lAtE) tainted love Andy Allo

06/30 07/02 07/03 07/06 07/10 07/11 07/13 07/16 07/18

the ting tings big business b Side Players the Aristocrats built to Spill Andrew castro the Helio Sequence Young rising Sons / Hunter Hunted tribe of the red Horse

07/22 07/26 08/01 08/02 08/05 08/06 08/16 08/22 08/29

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Morgan Jones Dylan ‘65 father torche ottmar leibert and luna Negra the Mother Hips Mac Sabbath Milo greene the Skins & friends

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beautiful 2 levels of outdoor seating

e v e r y t u e s d ay • 9 p m open Mic

Friday, June 12 saturday, June 13

Sea LegS Sactown PLayboyS

Friday, SaLt wizard June 19 saturday, June 20 Sandra doLoreS Friday, June 26 the PoLymerS

sunday & monday

happy hour all night!

buy any draft beer & add a well shot for $2, fireball $3, Jameson $4

free music series

free music series

e v e r y W e d n e s d ay • 7 p m ross HaMMond on guitar

saturday, June 27

harLey white Jr. trio

Friday, July 3

muSicaL chariS

saturday, hot city July 11 Friday, July 17 dyLan caL trio

keep an eye out for our summer showcase

weekly drink specials

tuesday

assorted $2 drink specials

wednesday

1/2 off

22oz craft beer bombers

thursday

$6 coors & Jameson combo

friday

saturday

night $6 mystery late happy craft hour cocktail 9pm to close

1217 21st street Midtown sacraMento 916.440.0401 kuproscrafthouse.com @kuprossacto

fa m i ly o w n e d s i n c e 1 9 3 4

916-443-9751

1901 10th Street

Downtown Sacramento

eVery monday niGHt

Guest cHefs

eVery tuesday niGHt

KaraoKe!

W/ SAC CITY ENTERTAINMENT

eVery wednesday niGHt

oPen mic!

W/ SANdRA doloRES

6pm

9pm free

sign-ups 8:30pm

9pm free

SERvINg UP $5 PlATES

*

PlUS Drink SpecialS 9-11pm

friday june 12

saturday june 13

friday june 19

Drop Dead red

9pm • $7

inferno of Joy

saturday june 20

saturday june 27

Four

Vacationer, Winnebago

Musical BellyPeace The sun charis Gunner Killers TrOuBle- Valley Major Powers lonely Bulls, MaKers The Kelps, Gun & the lo-Fi calling Tempo, Black saddle The sutters iV, cluB symphony, hookers, Mr. schneider sam Outlaw 9pm • $8

9pm • $6

9pm • $7

9pm • $5

Deeelicious old timey lunches served monday - friday 11:30am - 2pm

celeBraTinG 80 years OF Business!

8

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


Your Senses

TOUCH

“Top Secret Edition” of The Mastermind Hunt: Sacramento June 20

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Assemble a team of family, friends and/or co-workers and use your collective brainpower to solve a series of puzzles in The Mastermind Hunt, an information-based puzzle scavenger hunt taking place throughout Downtown and Midtown Sacramento on Saturday, June 20. According to Mastermindhunts.com, you and your team will, “Solve fun and challenging clues leading to landmarks, businesses and secret locations from Sacramento’s past and present. Bring your wits, creativity and a spirit of adventure.” Not only will the clues challenge you mentally (the organizers think of their hunts as “more brainy, less zany”), you’ll also get a physical workout, too. Mastermind estimates you’ll walk and/or run anywhere from 2.5 to 4 miles, depending on the route your group plans and whether or not you do any backtracking, so be sure to wear comfy shoes. Teams can be as small as two people or as large as eight. You can show up alone and be placed on a team. Price is $20 per person online until 8 p.m. on June 19, then the price goes up to $25 on the day of the event. The starting and end point is 1801 L Street Courtyard. Check in starts at 3 p.m. and the hunt starts at 4 p.m. Hit up Mastermindhunts.com/mastermind-huntsacramento for more information, rules, FAQ’s and a link to buy tickets. Happy hunting!

Samba

Timbuktu

SEE th

14 Annual Sacramento French Film Festival • June 19–28

HEAR

Take a trip to France without ever leaving town at the 14th Annual Sacramento French Film Festival, running from June 19 to 28 at the historic Crest Theatre. This summer you’ll exclaim “My Life is a French Movie!” as the SFFF presents two weekends of French films, food and fun including screenings of numerous 2015 César winners (French Academy Awards), as well as classics, a couple late night movies and “too many short films to count,” according to a press release submitted to Submerge. “Our 2015 film selection includes every genre and style to please every cinephile,” they wrote. “Romance, adventure, drama, comedy, thriller, fantasy …” You can see, there really is a little something for everyone and as always, all the films have English subtitles! The opening movie is a comedy/drama called Samba that screens on Friday, June 20 at 8:30 p.m., directly after the opening reception in the lobby of the Crest, which starts at 6 p.m. Another film to look forward to is Timbuktu on the closing night, Sunday, June 29. This drama was the most awarded French film of the year taking home Best Film, Best Director and Best Original Screenplay at the César Awards. Directly following the screening of Timbuktu there will be a Closing Night Champagne Party with desserts and live music! For a full schedule of screenings and film descriptions, keep an eye out at Sacramentofrenchfilmfestival.org. Prices range anywhere from $11 for single tickets to $95 for full festival access, with numerous packages being available. For more on the venue, visit Crestsacramento.com.

Jay & Silent Bob Get Old Live at Sacramento’s Wizard World Comic Con • June 20 When Submerge last caught up with actor/director Jason Mewes (of Jay and Silent Bob fame) in 2013, he reflected on his unlikely yet iconic screen partnership with Kevin Smith (Silent Bob) that has lasted for decades. “Me being where I am is surreal,” Mewes told us. “I didn’t plan on acting, I was roofing, and then Kevin said, ‘I wrote a character for you, and he’s based on the way you act—how you’re obnoxious and pull your balls out all the time.’ I was like, sure. Now it’s 20 years later …” Even today, the hilarious and foul-mouthed duo best known for their classic appearances in films such as Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Clerks 2, are still going strong. Luckily for Sacramentans they’ll be bringing their popular Jay and Silent Bob Get Old podcast to town on Saturday, June 20 for a live taping at the Sacramento Community Theater as part of the Wizard World Comic Con. Tickets start at just $24.50 and are available now at Tickets.com. Check out past episodes of this No. 1 iTunes rated comedy podcast at Smodcast. com. Learn more about Wizard World Comic Con’s other scheduled events at Wizardworld.com. To read our full interview with Mewes from 2013, go to Submergemag.com, scroll to the bottom and type “Jason Mewes” in the search box.

TASTE

Gorge on Homemade European Cuisine at the Croatian Extravaganza • June 13–14 At the 33rd Croatian Extravaganza, a “European festival in the old world tradition,” you can expect fantastic authentic cuisine along with plenty of live entertainment, a bocce ball tournament, children’s games and much more. Indulge in delicate pastries and succulent; spit-roasted lamb; and pork, chicken, steak and sausages. Did you know that each year between 40 and 50 lambs and pigs are barbecued at the Croatian Extravaganza? There’s plenty to go around, so be sure to check out this family-friendly cultural festival on June 13 and 14 at the Croatian American Cultural Center, located at 3730 Auburn Boulevard. Saturday’s admission is just $10 (note: this is the day when the best food is served!), and Sunday’s admission is free! Learn more by visiting Croatiancenter.org and clicking on “Extravaganza” in the top right corner.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

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Shut Up and Listen!

Robert Berry’s comedy is dive bar-tested, and comedy club-approved Words Amy Serna • photo DEZARRE WILL

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omedian Robert Berry likes his venues to be loud, weird and sometimes a little awkward. If you have ever driven down to the corner of Fulton Avenue and Monroe Street in Sacramento, you may have read a huge sign hanging above a dive bar that reads, “The Coldest Beer in Town.” And upon walking into this local joint, On the Y, you will be greeted with a collage of beer posters, cheap drinks and interesting characters shouting over metal music. But when comedian Robert Berry walks in, all he can think of is comedy. Every Thursday night before karaoke, Berry feels comfortable enough to unleash some new jokes in a pretty uncomfortable environment for most comics. “Sometimes there are three people in there with their backs to you. It’s a very humbling and difficult experience;it’s a really weird show there,” Berry explained while sitting inside of The Mill, a decidedly cozier coffee house on I Street. “There’s old crusty guys that are 70-plus that are telling old timey one-liners, [and] one guy with a drum doing rim shots after each joke. And you can try out new stuff there because no one is going to know,” he said with a loud laugh. “It’s not going to come back and haunt you, but it’s fun and, you know, I’m just a loud guy.” So far being loud has paid off. From performing awkward sets at On the Y to recording his debut comedy album, Retrocrush, at Sacramento Comedy Spot, Berry is moving fast in the local comedy scene. His booming personality is what makes his comedy stand out from the rest. His set is loud, in-your-face and full of one-liners, which most likely stems from performing in noisy bars full of drunk patrons with short attention spans. “[If] you go up in a crowd, and you are staring at your toes and mumbling, the audience is going to be like, ‘Fuck this guy! I’m going to talk to my friend now,’ or, ‘I’m going

to look at his girl,’” Berry said. “But if I can get up there and be like, ‘Hey! How the hell are you, everybody!?’ and try to be bigger than life and boisterous, then people start shutting up and looking at you.” His new album is full of his favorite old pop culture references (such as Star Wars), ruminations on Costco and over-analyzing Christmas songs. He finds a way to recreate his favorite memories or stories and cleverly turn them into jokes. And of course, there are also his signature one-liners. Half-way through his album, Berry goes through a seven-minute bit, called “Groanerpalooza,” a parade of one-liner jokes shot at the audience back to back. “If you like them, hey that’s great but if you don’t like them, let me have it,” he commented on his album. “This is a learning experience here. These are groaners for a reason, so if you don’t like them, feel free to groan.” While ripping through the one-liners and audience groans, Berry’s energy never dies down throughout the album. It’s easy to imagine him on performing on stage with his over-the-top persona. But speaking with him in person is suddenly a different experience than hearing or seeing him perform comedy. He is almost a completely different person. He is quick-witted, likes to laugh and perform karaoke. But he is also a laid-back, friendly and family-oriented guy with a common day job who just wants to make Sacramento laugh. A lot of his material comes from conversations and experiences he has every day with his family and having a full life in Sacramento with a wife of 22 years, a son and daughter. Berry chooses to remain more local with his comedy instead of seeking gigs out of state. “I’m 45, roughly starting this a lot later than most do, but I’m happy with where it is now and

where it’s going, but I don’t have this endgame,” Berry explained. “This album was a milestone for me that I’m very happy with, and it can live forever in some kind of way, so there’s that.” The title Retrocrush isn’t just about his first album, it’s a name that has grown with his comedy career for over seven years. What started as a website, turned podcast, then variety show and now comedy album, Retrocrush represents where Berry has been and where he is going with comedy. It’s a title that originates from his website, a pop culture-based site full of movie reviews, interviews, old comics, video games, lists such as “30 Coolest Game Show Hosts” or “100 Worst Cover Songs” and anything else Berry can think of to reminisce about. “People all have a past in something, and if you can hit up a lot of areas and get people nostalgic about things, it’s kind of a fun way to connect,” he said of the site. It was from this mindset that his podcast was born. During the “heyday” of his podcasting career, from 2005 to 2008, he recorded more than 150 episodes, had upwards of 16,000 subscribers and was noted as one of the top 50 comedy podcasts on iTunes. Starting off in the early days of podcasting, Berry saw Retrocrush grow right before his eyes. “It would blow my mind that I could mention on a podcast that I was hosting a screening of some movie down at the mall and then actually someone shows up and say, ‘Hey, I really like your podcast and I wanted to come and see this,’” Berry explained. From there Retrocrush still kept growing. He turned it into recurring variety show that was featured at the Comedy Spot for over a year. He would feature local comics, sketches, drag queens and burlesque dancers. But his transition from owning a pop culture website and podcasting to creating the Retrocrush comedy album wasn’t as tough as it might sound. For Berry, being alone on stage was never foreign territory. He would host local events around town and have fun on stage at the Trash Film Orgy Festival, fundraisers, concerts, charity events and even movie screenings. He would enjoy getting the

“I’m 45, roughly starting this a lot later than most do, but I’m happy with where it is now and where it’s going, but I don’t have this endgame. This album was a milestone for me that I’m very happy with, and it can live forever in some kind of way, so there’s that.” – Robert Berry

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

audience “excited to be there,” started to crack jokes in-between sets, and got a small taste of what stand-up comedy was really like. Even one of Berry’s long time friends—and conveniently one of Sacramento’s favorite local stand-up comics—Keith Lowell Jensen, would see him host events and encouraged him to get on stage as a comic. Berry specifically remembers one night hosting a festival at On the Y where he had comedy material for introductions and thought about seriously giving stand-up comedy a shot. “So I went through a lot of horrible sets and open mics, bombing my ass off. I wrote a lot of jokes on Twitter and I still do. The first comedy set I did I basically read jokes off of my Twitter,” he admitted. “It was a good introduction to bombing, which really helps you grow by messing up, having the whole audience stare at you and not clapping. It’s really scary but it helps you think about why that’s happening and how can I make this better.” But being used to performing and even hosting at some tough venues, bombing didn’t discourage him for a second. From there he only wanted to get better and started to perform at any open mic he could, including coffee shops. But for Berry’s loud persona, performing in a coffee shop didn’t quite match his high energy compared to his favorite stage, On The Y. He became too loud for a microphone because he didn’t even need one, he explained. But all he needed to do was find the right venue to be himself. “One time he [Keith Lowell Jensen] saw me at Punch Line for the first time perform with a really big full house crowd. I was very loud and I had people singing along with me and chanting with me and he says, ‘Hey, forget what I said about being loud, that works for you,’” Berry said. Since then he has been writing and gathering bits and pieces from each open mic night he’s ever had to create a full hour of funny material. “It takes a while to get an hour,” he explained. “You go to the open mics and you get five minutes and put that away, and you get 20 of those five minutes and then now you got an hour.” Now he is ready to unleash his full debut comedy album at the Punch Line on June 24, conveniently as a part of his birthday week celebration. From his website, to podcast, to variety show, to comedy album, Berry's overall mission seems pretty simple: make people laugh. “I want them to have a good time, obviously I want them to share it,” he said. “So maybe they’ll want to see me live, maybe they’ll just laugh. If someone listened to it and said that was really funny and told me, that’s mission accomplished.”

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


Check out Robert Berry’s Retrocrush album release show at Punch Line Sacramento on June 24. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are $15 (with a two-drink minimum). You can purchase tickets through Punchlinesac.com. You can also catch Berry alongside a host of performers at Blue Lamp on June 16 as part of his Moxiecrush variety show. Tickets are $10.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

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“When we play, I try to really dial into the content. What am I saying to people right now? What message am I conveying and where is my attention right now? Am I locked with this moment and this particular dynamic of who’s in the room with me, or am I just rehashing what I did yesterday? To me, it’s always a constant struggle when I’m on stage performing to try to let these songs still be new and still be meaningful.” – Aaron Weiss, mewithoutYou MewithoutYou’s lyrical content contains Jewish, Muslim and Christian imagery. Do you use music and poetry to explore spirituality? Sure, that’s such a big part of who I am. There’s no way I could do anything where I could do anything where I could seriously try to explore or express meaning and significance, and identity and trust and reality, without drawing on all those sources. They’re just kind of part of my DNA. At the same, I don’t feel a compulsion to force that in or make anyone else believe anything about religion. There’s no way for me to write with any real intensity while bracketing all that, so it’s going to be there and if that turns people off who aren’t religious, or who are anti-religious, well that’s OK. But, at the same time, religion and spiritual context can be used in such harmful ways that I’m reluctant to endorse any of them.

On a Pale Horse

15 Years of mewithoutYou Words Steph Rodriguez • photo Amie Santavicca

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hiladelphia post-hardcore five-piece mewithoutYou will celebrate its 15th year together this year, continuing to log thousands of miles touring across the United States. Vocalist Aaron Weiss, alongside brother and guitarist, Michael Weiss, started the band in 2001, signing with Tooth and Nail Records later that same year. The band—which also includes drummer Rickie Mazotta, bassist Greg Jehanian and guitarist Brandon Beaver—continues to craft dramatic, sometimes experimental, soundscapes that echo the singer’s trance-like vocal angst. Over the past 15 years, mewithoutYou has toured alongside bands such as Coheed and Cambria, The Blood Brothers and dozens more. The band has also worked with producers like Brad Wood (Sunny Day Real Estate, Smashing Pumpkins) and Dan Smith (Sufjan Stevens) on albums including 2004’s Catch for Us the Foxes and Brother, Sister, released in 2006. The band’s recently released sixth album, Pale Horses, not only challenges mewithoutYou to revisit the band’s natural tendency toward the more theatrical, aggressive musical performance, but also revives the emotional honesty found in past albums. Submerge recently caught up with mewithoutYou vocalist and founding member Aaron Weiss to discuss how he developed his eccentric, spoken-word vocal style, what inspires the band’s performances night after night and mewithoutYou’s religious-based labels.

Where do you find lyrical inspiration? I can point to certain authors where I take a line either word-for-word from Rumi or, more recently with this new album, James Joyce more than anyone else. But, there’s also whatever I’m experiencing, whatever I’m fed by my surroundings and by media, or billboards, or my cats, or my relationships. In this case, my wife and being married, and having a whole new family; those things, of course, shape what I’m writing even though I don’t necessarily consciously incorporate those things.

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Screaming and shouting night after night must take a toll; do you have any vocal remedies you turn to in a pinch while on tour? No. I have not had any success with any remedies. Only time. Only rest. That’s the only thing that’s worked for me: keeping quiet. If I get real bad, I’ll make a little sign, or if anybody comes up to me I just point to my mouth, or point to my throat and give a thumbs down, and hopefully they’ll get the point. For me, of course, even better than that, is the preventative maintenance. For one thing, staying hydrated

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

and another is proper vocal technique. I’ve learned a few techniques and ways to direct my voice and use my body that can prevent that kind of fatigue. If I just go shouting without remembering the correct way to do it, I could lose my voice in a single song. How did you develop your spoken-word vocal style? If I remember right, it mostly came from what a bad singer I was. I was in a musical in high school. I got a good role, but I really couldn’t sing the song. So, they literally made me speak the song in rhythm with the music and when I listen back to that, I have a recording of it, I think, “That’s pretty similar to what I do now.” It’s probably where I got the idea to do that. And, just hearing other artists, or vocalists, who have done likewise like Sean McCabe from Ink and Dagger, or Ian MacKaye from Fugazi, or Henry Rollins. During mewithoutYou’s live performances, you often wrap flowers around mic stands, what’s up with that? I used to do it more often, but the reason was just to make something pretty and to make it smell nice, and make it look nice, or to have something new to interact with. We play shows night after night, and we try to mix up the set list or do something different each time. But, in some respects, it’s very homogenous. So, anything that we can do to make every night something special and unique, and the flowers are just one more version of that. It’s just one more element of the show that could be memorable or enjoyable for people.

When bands are labeled under a religious light, do you feel they trudge through stigmas with an audience? It’s hard to even pin down what Christianity means; multiply that by five. When you have five members of a band that someone’s trying to shoehorn into this one label, it just doesn’t make any sense. To me, it’s an incoherent concept. If someone were to say, “Oh, those guys are a Christian band, or they’re a Muslim band, or they’re a religious band,” none of those labels stick because not everyone in the band can be put in any one of those labels. After all these years, is there a favorite album, or song to perform that still ignites deep emotions? When I think about performing and what brings out different emotions, that really changes from one night to another, and it surprises me. There’s a song that might not mean a thing to me one night, and then the next night we play it and it really hits me in a new way. When we play, I try to really dial into the content. What am I saying to people right now? What message am I conveying and where is my attention right now? Am I locked with this moment and this particular dynamic of who’s in the room with me, or am I just rehashing what I did yesterday? To me, it’s always a constant struggle when I’m on stage performing to try to let these songs still be new and still be See mewithoutYou live at The Boardwalk in Orangevale meaningful. on June 24 with Foxing and Lithuania. This all-ages show starts at 7 p.m. Tickets are $15 and can be purchased through Theboardwalkpresents.com.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


MY LIFE IS A FRENCH MOVIE!

June 11 Green Flash BrewinG Glass June 18 Karl strauss BrewinG Glass

14th Sacramento French Film Festival JUNE 19-28, 2015 CREST THEATRE 2 weekends of French films, food and fun! Always with English subtitles!

S A C R A M E N T O F R E N C H F I L M F E S T I VA L . O R G 916.455.9390 SubmergeMag.com

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

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1417 r strEEt saCraMEntO

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THE ORIGINAL

WAILERS WiTh Special GueST

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

June 26

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July 22

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


M O n day f r i day

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tickets available @ dimple records, armadillo Online: aceOfspadessac.com By Phone: 1.877.Gnd.CtrL Or 916.443.9202

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

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two sheds’ Caitlin Gutenberger on How to Write an Album in Two Days Words Ryan J. Prado • photos Katherine Sheehan

The Song Babies The Song Babies

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sa major portion of the greater Sacramentoarea music fabric, Two Sheds made a splash with the husbandand-wife duo of Caitlin and Johnny Gutenberger (formerly of Far) crossing streams to generate a truly endearing kind of folky pop. The genesis of that obvious chemistry materialized on the band’s impressive debut LP, Strange Ammunition, released in 2006. Following a subsequent EP release and a period of relative stagnancy, the Gutenbergers packed it up and moved to Los Angeles, Caitlin unsure if her next step was grad school or working further toward her artistic goals with the band. Lethargy ensued even while new muses were slowly unfurling their bemused little tentacles out toward Caitlin as the viscera of her new surroundings began to take hold. And as it is with all artists, something struck. It wasn’t without assistance, though. Chameleonic Portland musician Nick Jaina, a friend of Caitlin’s, issued a challenge to attempt to write 20 songs in one day. After two attempts at reaching this lofty goal, Caitlin had penned somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 songs for Two Sheds, a feat that far surpassed the piecemeal writing-recording regimen she and Johnny had undertaken in the previous three years. The result is Assembling, an adventurous collection of stream-of-consciousness arrangements, lyrics and recording techniques. It’s also a dream-like jaunt through hazy poppy fields at the precipice of where slumber and fluid improvisation collide. It’s also just an incredibly good album that hubris would do well to side-step. Caitlin took some time out to wax with Submerge about the new album, how she’s tired of acting like George Lucas all the time, and the immaculate conceptions of song-babies from the thunderbolts of the ether. It’ll make sense later... Read on!

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


working through something even if I feel like it’s Tell me about how these songs came together. I not working out, something can come out of it. understand there were dares involved. Before, I always thought of songwriting as that Yeah, basically before I wrote the record, I wasn’t beam of light that comes down when the clouds really writing much. We’ve always recorded things part and flashes you in the middle of your forereally piecemeal. It’s been more of a long and head and you’re like, “Yes! This is my song-baby drawn-out process, which can produce great rethat just came to me!” I realized that, actually, sults, but I just wasn’t being terribly productive having something happen is just something that in the songwriting department. So my really good happens in the middle of you trying to do somefriend from Portland, Nick Jaina, he’d been doing thing. You don’t have to wait for it. It’s great when this exercise that he’d been trying to get me to it is the beam of light, but you can actually also do for a while. It was this songwriting challenge make great stuff if you just kind of look at it more where you try and write 20 songs in a day. Which like getting a job done. is ridiculous on its face, but I think the point of I tend to find the more you go back and try it is that you don’t have any time to get precious to fix something, the less satisfied you are with about what you’re doing or to think about whether it. You’re trying to recapture the moment you had or not something is good or bad. It’s just to get when you came up with that idea and it’s not through it, which was a really good experience the same. I feel like I tend to George Lucas-ize for me. I just did it to see if I could do it. The first things more than I tend to Leonard Cohen them, time I did it, I wrote 11 or 12 songs, and I was like ya know? “Oh what we need in this part of the “Holy shit!” The whole day it was kind of painful song is more pod races and more conversations and arduous, but at the end of the day I looked about trade federations!” Then you look back at back to what I did, and there was some cool stuff it later, and you’re like “What the hell was wrong in there. So I did it again a month or so later, and I with the demo, man?” wrote six songs in a day. So I had almost 20 songs, and then It seemed around that "I always thought of songwriting as that beam of light to me on time we had that comes down when the clouds part and flashes a song like some friends who own a stu- you in the middle of your forehead and you’re “You Get to Me” like, “Yes! This is my song-baby that just came that you weren’t dio down here shy about trying [in L.A.] called New to me!” I realized that, actually, having different rhythms, Monkey and they something happen is just something that and later on the rehad four free days, happens in the middle of you trying cording, different noisand said, “Why don’t to do something. You don’t have to es and textures. Can you you come down and see wait for it. It’s great when it is speak to that experimenhow much stuff you can tation as it relates to the get done in four days?” We the beam of light, but you can musicians who recorded on recorded 14 of those almost actually also make great the album outside of yourself? 20 songs in four days. That was stuff if you just kind of Yeah, well with a song like “You literally the record. I think it’s one look at it more like Get to Me,” I wrote this song and it of those things that was just good getting a job done." was just this little picky guitar part, to do. It’s just sometimes good to do – Caitlin which is still on the recording. In genthings that are seemingly hard or silly to see if you can do it, and I think the Gutenberger, eral, I’ve always felt like everyone in my band has a really distinct kind of musical cool thing that came out of it was me realTwo perspective. One of my favorite things is izing that if I just go and sit in a room long Sheds writing a song and giving it to my band and enough and muscle past the judgment or the seeing how everyone responds to it. We just gag reflex of initial songwriting ideas, somedrew up the demo in the studio, and Johnny thing is going to happen. It was a great experiwas like, “Oh my gosh, it would be funny and ment for that reason. awesome to put this Casio beat under it.” We did it and started using it as a click track, but then we As you were going through it, and then the month definitely started to get attached to it. Our friend or so in between those sessions, what strengths was playing piano and we ran it through a Space or weaknesses did you find you were facing by Echo, because wouldn’t that be fun? It was so approaching it that way? stream of consciousness and so not intentional. It Well the weaknesses are that you don’t really alwas like literally us looking at things in the studio low yourself the time to fine-tune things. It’s realgoing, “Huh, that’d be fun to use.” It was whoever ly just about allowing the feelings or the thoughts had the coolest idea at the time while we were that you’re having in the moment to come out and just flowing with stuff just tried it. It all just came sometimes while it’s happening, none of it seems together. It was really, really fun for that reason. to make any literal sense or you don’t even know what you’re writing about. Then you go back and revisit it when you’re away from that intense day, See Two Sheds live as part of the and you’re like, “Oh my gosh! That song is totally Davis Music Festival on June 20 at about that one argument I had with my friend!” Odd Fellows (415 2nd Street, Davis). It’s weird; I had time to think about it in a more Weekend passes are available for the analytical way after it was done. three-day music fest (now in its fifth year) for just $25. To purchase tickets, I think the strengths of it for me were just go to Davismusicfest.com, where you having the realization that if I go in and I work can also find full line-up information. on something and I just allow myself to continue SubmergeMag.com

1400 ALHAMBRA SAcRAMento BLUeLAMPSAcRAMento.coM 916-455-3400 june 9 • 7pm

tuesDAY

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BehinD the FAllen, CemeterY suns, sAD juiCees, toDD morgAn & the emBlems w e D n e s D A Y june 10 • 8pm retreAt: Art, musiC & non-proFits

Burlesque: Dina D. DiscorDia, Kitsune Kami, sparrow wooDs, BaBy GranD singing: mone’t Ha-siDi, Veriti Von Blu, Busti Biscotti ComeDY: roBert Berry, Jaclyn weianD, sHelBy taylor

june 11 • 8pm

the grinD: DelAneY rene, sgmg, meghAn Bone, tk strAY rokkin, legion oF Doom, Ct+more sAturDAY

jeFF turner

thursDAY

ApAthY CYCle, pets, the hArBor

skrAtChpAD:

the sleeproCkers, Dose, AjAx, FeDi, luke skrAtChroCker

plAYAh k • 9pm

60 eAst • 4pm

krAYzie Bone • 8pm oF Bone thugz-n-hArmonY

june 24 june 26 CoCkney RejeCts, CiP AfteRPARty W/ AngRy sAmoAns, HumbLe WoLf, 13 sCARs, West LoRds, WitH WoLves, Riot RAdio tHe seA WoLves

june 21 • 8pm

sunDAY

june 14 • 8pm

sounDz oF norCAl presents onoFF roswell \m/ , terrA Ferno

june 20

timothY rhYme (AlBum releAse)

stAtus goes, suAve DeBonAire, CAliForniA BeAr gAng, mikeDAmouth

Coming soon

june 18 • 8pm

sAturDAY

june 13

BeneFit For the sACrAmento CountY AnimAl shelter • 3pm

sunDAY

june 17 • 8pm

weDnesDAY

Art: wAYlon horner & jAreD thArp musiC: FreDDY silvA, r3leAse, pumAtron, mike ColossAl, Aj sAChs & Dj r$hArp

thursDAY

june 16 • 8pm

moxie Crush vArietY show

jAke simmons

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Praxis 5

Palm Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


Abstract artist Micah Crandall-Bear shows a subtler side in his new exhibition Words Lovelle Harris • photo below Nicholas wray

M

icah Crandall-Bear’s latest body of work is a lot like Focusing on the work, Crandall-Bear’s art pieces have the artist himself—a combination of precision and a won him favor with art consultants, interior designers and minimalistic sensibility that draws heavily from a deep corporations. And while his work adorns the walls of tech appreciation of natural beauty. companies like Intel, skyscrapers in San Francisco, university For those unfamiliar with Crandall-Bear’s artistic vision, the hospitals, law firms, corporate and government offices and a slew painter operates in the world of the abstract. His canvases are of private residences, it’s the spirit of the local art community heavily layered acrylic landscapes of bold striations of colors that has him really excited about Sacramento’s future as an focused on hard line compositions that explore the many nuances emerging hub for creatives. of something we see every day: the horizon. His technique is “It’s an exciting community and I think right now it’s probably, methodical and precise, implementing a traditional method that as far as visual art, it’s the most exciting time in Sacramento’s is typically associated with oil painting wherein swiftness is history,” he gushes. “Right now there’s so much going on in the essential. Layers of wet paint are applied to previous layers of art scene with things like the [Bright] Underbelly [mural] project, wet paint in linear brushstrokes that traverse the entire length WAL, Verge, Elliott’s gallery, and you want to be a part of that. of the canvas from left to right. You can liken it to other places, their story has been written, like His latest body of work, titled Latitudes and is currently San Francisco and L.A.; ours hasn’t and that’s exciting.” on display at Elliott Fouts Gallery through July 2, eschews As one of the artists whose work has contributed to the cityscapes, but instead celebrates the refinement of nature. transformation of the historic 100-year-old Lawrence Warehouse “This show, instead of trying to be complex … is actually a into the Warehouse Artists Loft, a lofty experiment in a mixedbit more subtle,” Crandall-Bear explains. “It’s also more refined. use, mixed-income community for artists located in downtown There used to be a lot of exaggerated line and color, where in Sacramento’s Historic R Street District, Crandall-Bear has begun these paintings it’s got a little bit more of a desaturated feel. So to embrace the idea of collaboration among artists. it’s softer, more subtle.” “I feel like I, like a lot of artists, The artist recently invited used to be in my bubble and work Submerge into his airy studio to alone and just kind of be hyperexplain this latest collection of focused on my immediate goals. work and how an early experience It was very linear, and now with at the Michael Himovitz Gallery it being an exciting time with on Del Paso Boulevard under the visual art, there are so many other mentorship of then-gallery owner artists that are doing extremely Chuck Miller led to the progression well because of the community of his singular vision and ultimately here,” he explains. “So I found into a successful career as an artist. myself really wanting to do “I started interning there in ’98 projects where I’m collaborating or ’99, so toward [Michael Himovitz with other artists and we’re Gallery’s] later years. Michael had doing these big paintings for like died already, but his partner Chuck a music festival or something Miller was running the gallery,” he else. So I’ve collaborated with a explains. “I ended up mentoring few really amazing artists from under Chuck. He kind of took me more graffiti street-style artists to under his wing, although he didn’t hyper-modern artist, [like] Jose [Di really care for my art, but over time Gregorio]. We’ve done a big piece he started selling my work and together and the community is introduced me to designers like growing. The spectrum of artists “Their story has been written, like San Paulette Trainor, you know, big is broadening and therefore there figureheads in the community, so I Francisco and L.A.; ours hasn’t and that’s are more artists becoming even was pretty fortunate. I was around more successful, which is good for exciting.” – Micah Crandall-Bear on the that at a young age, which was all artists.” rise of Sacramento’s visual arts scene great because I learned the gallery As his creative point of view side before I learned how to be a continues to develop in tandem with career artist.” his artistic maturity and ambition, his latest show is pushing the And while the Himovitz gallery shuttered its doors in 2001 Sacramento art community to recognize and embrace the beauty after a successful 20-year run, Miller and Crandall-Bear remained that can be found within abstraction. close, both personally and professionally, until the venerated “The work is meant to give a feeling of exhale to the viewer,” mentor died in 2009. The lessons learned from that relationship he explains. “We’re constantly surrounded by a world made of still reverberate through Crandall-Bear’s experience as an man-made things so [this show is about] when you get back to artist—specifically one who still sees value in the gallery-artist nature; it’s why I started painting like this. I paint what I like collaboration, especially as many of his contemporaries look to to see or feel, and so these vast colorscapes lend themselves to other avenues for introducing their work to the world. my life.” “Chuck and I continued to work together [doing] private art His bold, nonfigurative compositions are imbued with explosions sales and design showcases. He basically just turned himself of color that are able to convey passion and excitement while, at into a broker, an art dealer without the brick and mortar, but the same time, evoking serenity and tranquility. And although he sold art until he died,” he says. “So fast forward 10 to 15 this latest exhibition is years, there have been a lot of galleries that have come and gone, instantly recognizable as Check out Latitudes which runs but the gallery world as far as representing artists is changing, a Crandall-Bear show, the now through July 2 at Elliott Fouts especially with social media and Instagram. A lot of artists are artist says that he is taking Gallery, located at 1831 P Street in using that platform, Instagram, as a sales platform, and they his signature theme and Sacramento. A reception for the should: it works. There are a lot of artists in my community that breathing new life into the show will be held on Saturday, June don’t necessarily adhere to the gallery format like I do. As I said, canvas. 13, from 6 to 9 p.m. For gallery hours, I grew up doing that so it’s kind of what I always knew.” “These pieces are still go to Efgallery.com. If you’d like to Like most artists, Crandall-Bear’s work has been an exercise heavily layered and detailed, learn more about Micah Crandallin evolution: from a series of figurative works with rigid urban yet a sense of calm can be Bear and peruse his artwork before tones, incorporating text, spray paint and elements of graffiti in found as variations in dense you go see it in person, go to the beginning, to the progression of a singular idea expressed tones give way to luminous Micahcrandallbear.com. through bold stripes and color fields. neutrals,” he says.

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

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6.08 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m. The Colony Skinned, Cancerous Womb, Logistic Slaughter, Solitary Priapism, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m. Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Press Club Removed, Little Fixtures, White Bike, 8 p.m.

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6.09 Tuesday

The Blue Lamp Moneypenny, Behind the Fallen, Cemetery Suns, Sad Juicees, Todd Morgan & The Emblems, 7 p.m. The Colony The Cryptics, Crystal Methodist, Pisscat, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Patrick Walsh, 9 p.m. Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 9 p.m. LowBrau Le Twist w/ Sam I Jam, Roger Carpio, Adam J, 9 p.m. Nicholson’s MusiCafe West Coast Songwriting Competition, 6 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Live Band Karaoke, 8 p.m. Press Club Japhy’s Descent, Island of Black and White, 8 p.m. Shine Open Jazz Jam hosted by Jason Galbraith, 8 p.m.

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Torch Club Bill Mylar, 5:30 p.m.; Michael Ray, Billy Manzik, 8 p.m.

6.10 Wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Pumatron, Mike Colossal, AJ Sachs & DJ R$HARP, Freddy Silva, R3lease, 8:30 p.m. Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. Crest Theatre Neutral Milk Hotel, 7 p.m. (Sold Out) Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Island of Black & White, EGG, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose British Pop w/ DJ Roger Carpio, 8 p.m. Hard Rock Casino (Lake Tahoe) Westbound 50, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Cali Agents, Durag Dynasty, Replacement Killers, Lyric Jones, Blozart, Lurkavelly, DJ Lahn, Penny, 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Irish/Celtic Jam hosted by The Glens of Smow of Sambandha, 7 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub White Minorities, White Knuckle Riot, Zeroclient, 8 p.m. Press Club Club McFun!, 9 p.m. Sleep Train Arena Andrea Bocelli, 7:30 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen Open Mic, 8:30 p.m. Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Keri Carr Band, Shelly King, 9 p.m.

6.11 thursday

The Blue Lamp The Grind w/ Delaney Rene, SGMG, Meghan Bone, TK Stray Rokkin, Legion of Doom, CT, Spacewalker, 3Di$on, K-Ottic, DJ Epik, 7 p.m. The Boardwalk PLURnt Up w/ DJs Nick Peezy, Jason Davis, Chase Johnson, 9 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. District 30 Jochen Miller, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. El Dorado Saloon DJ River, 9:30 p.m. Fox & Goose Steve McLane, 8 p.m. Fremont Park Hot Lunch Concert Series: Hans! and the Hot Mess w/ Lauren Wakefield, 11:30 a.m. Harlow’s Hot Club Cowtown, 5:30 p.m.; Electric Six, White Reaper, 9 p.m. Harris Center Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder, 7:30 p.m. Harvey’s Lake Tahoe Brad Paisley, Justin Moore, Mickey Guyton, 7 p.m. The Hideaway Bar & Grill Trash Rock Thursdays, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides On/Off, Ghostdance Radio, Radio Orangevale, 8 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Whiskey Maiden, 10 p.m. Press Club Dr. Know, Psychosomatic, Kill the Precedent, The Strange Party, 8 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen City of Trees Brass Band, 9 p.m. Starlite Lounge King Magnetic, Riot Craig, Kali Boyz, Recorded Freedom, 8 p.m. Torch Club Mind X Quartet, 5 p.m.; Reds Blues, 9 p.m.

6.12 Friday

Ace of Spades The Story So Far, Four Years Strong, Terror, Souvenirs, 6:30 p.m. Back 9 Bar & Grill Alex Salveson & Velly Marsh, Riot Craig, Charlie Muscle, 8:30 p.m. Berryessa Brewing Co. West Nile Ramblers, 5 p.m. The Blue Lamp Free Up FridaysReggae, w/ DJ Wokstar and Guests, 9 p.m. The Boardwalk Upon This Dawning, Eskimo Callboy, Outline in Color, Silence The Messenger, Mercedes Avenue, Oh! The Horror, 6 p.m. Cafe Colonial Herd Mindset (Album Release),The Kelps, The Community, The Good Name of Truth, Kill the Cute, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m. Cesar Chavez Park Concerts In the Park w/ Jonah Matranga, The Storytellers, Kevin Seconds, One-Leg Chuck, 5 p.m. The Colony Gomorrah, Fubar, Josh Mosh and the Baby Shakers, 7 p.m. District 30 EC Twins, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Thunder Cover, 9 p.m. El Dorado Saloon Hired Guns, 9:30 p.m. First Christian Church West Sacramento Community Singers: Viva Voce and Guests, 8 p.m. Fox & Goose Odame Sucks, Nice Monster (Album Release), Devin Farren, 9 p.m. G Street WunderBar DJ Mouf, 10 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Goldfield Kenny Frye Band, 9 p.m. Hard Rock Casino (Lake Tahoe) Flock of ‘80s, 8 p.m. Harlow’s Oh! the Band, Classic Addition, 6 p.m.; Dark Side of the Abbey Road, Rainbow Girls, 9:30 p.m. Kupros Craft House Sea Legs, 9 p.m. Lions Gate Hotel Val Starr’s Blues on the Patio Concert Series w/ Dennis Jones Band, 7 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Flamenco del Oro, 8:30 p.m. Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) Steve Smith and Vital Information NYC Edition, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Musical Charis, Major Powers & the Lo-Fi Symphony, Drop Dead Read, 9 p.m. Off Center Stage (Grass Valley) Pinnacles, Number Station, Bull Goose Loony, 8 p.m. The Palms Playhouse Yolo Mambo, 8 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Shift, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Daze on the Green, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Kumandae Miller, 9:30 p.m. Shine Watch Your Step, Advent Horizon, Lucid Popsicle, 7 p.m. Starlite Lounge Deke Dickerson, KB and the Slingtones, 8 p.m. The Stoney Inn Red Radio, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River Long Time (Boston tribute), 7 p.m. Third Space Human Machine, Wander, Valley Girls, Man Problems, 8 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort 311, Pepper, 7 p.m. Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Steven Roth, 9 p.m. Toyota Amphitheatre Brad Paisley, Mickey Guyton, Justin Moore, 7 p.m.

continued on page 22

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


Sacramento’S neweSt country Bar, reStaurant, and live muSic venue Mondays

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

21


6.13 Saturday

20th Street (Between J & K) THIS Midtown Block Party w/ Cherokee, Exquisite Corps, Mr. Erik James, DJ Epik, 4 p.m. Ace of Spades RED, Adelitas Way, Bad Seed Rising, McClinton, A Mile Till Dawn, 6:30 p.m. Back 9 Bar & Grill Surviving the Era, OurFathers, Pity Party, Lungs, 8:30 p.m. Bar 101 In The No, 9:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Apathy Cycle, Pets, The Harbor, 3 p.m.; Playah K, Status Goes, Suave Debonaire, California Bear Gang, MikedaMouth, 9 p.m. The Boardwalk Supersuckers, Kryptic Memories, Broke Down, Broke Down Wasted, 7 p.m. Cache Creek Casino Truc Linh, Truc Lam, Thai Chau, Phuong Hong Que, Duc Tien, Hoang Nhat, and more, 7 & 10 p.m. Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m. Community Center Theater Diljit Dosanjh, 7 p.m. District 30 Styles & Complete, 9 p.m. El Dorado Saloon 5 Year Anniversary Party w/ Superbad, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose This Body Wants to Live, Atlas Park, Jackson Griffith, 8:30 p.m. G Street WunderBar Street Urchinz, 10 p.m. Goldfield Urban Outlaws, 9 p.m. Hard Rock Casino (Lake Tahoe) JellyBread, 9 p.m.; Dee Jay Silver, 11:30 p.m. Harlow’s Mason Jennings, Phoebe Bridgers, 6 p.m.; Melt Banana, Hot Nerds, xTomHanx, 9:30 p.m. Harris Center SacSings: Sacramento Choral Festival, 2 & 7 p.m. KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Kupros Craft House Sactown Playboys, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Orange Morning, Jenn Rogar & Travers Clifford, John Gruber, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m. Nicholson’s MusiCafe The Common Man Band, 6 p.m. Old Ironsides Belly Gunner, The Kelps, Calling Tempo, Sam Outlaw, 9 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Petti V, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Chris Gardner, 10 p.m. Press Club Sac Storytellers, The Picturebooks, 5 p.m.; DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Rock of Ages, 10 p.m. Shine Tao Tariki, Fabulous Funkyband, The Bump Trio, 7 p.m. Sleep Train Arena Maná, 8:30 p.m. Starlite Lounge Super Mega Everything, Ghost Color, 8 p.m. Swabbies on the River 8-tracks, 1 p.m.; Hit Parade, 5 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Tesla, Y&T, 7 p.m. Torch Club Mercy Me!, 9 p.m.

6.14 sunday

22

Bar 101 Alex Vincent, 2 p.m. Berryessa Brewing Co. A Thousand Years at Sea, 3 p.m. The Blue Lamp Soundz of NorCal Presents: ONOFF, Roswell, Terra Ferno, 8 p.m. Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m. Cache Creek Casino Banda S7, 5 p.m. Cafe Colonial Antagonizers ATL, West Lords, Class System, 7 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m. Crocker Art Museum Classical Concert: French Connection, 3 p.m.

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Hard Rock Casino (Lake Tahoe) DJ Loczi, 11:30 p.m. Harlow’s Raul Midon, 5:30 p.m. Harris Center SacSings: Sacramento Choral Festival, 2 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. Nicholson’s MusiCafe Jon Nolan, 12 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Daniel Castro, 3 p.m. Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Buck Ford, 1 p.m. Swabbies on the River Life in the Fast Lane (Eagles tribute), 3 p.m. Torch Club Benefit for Jose SantaMaria, 3 p.m.; Front the Band, 8 p.m.

6.15 monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Dog Party (Album Release), Pookie & the Poodlez, 6:30 p.m. Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Press Club Lowbrow, Yankee Brutal, At Both Ends, 8 p.m.

6.16 Tuesday

The Blue Lamp The MoxieCrush Variety Show: The Midtown Moxies, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Cemetery Sun (Acoustic), 9 p.m. Harlow’s Odd Future Tour: Mike G, Left Brain, Bizarre, Speak, Pyramid Vritra, Mind Gone Larry, 6 p.m. Kupros Craft House Open Mic, 9 p.m. LowBrau Le Twist w/ Matthew Santos, Sam I Jam, Roger Carpio, Adam J, 9 p.m. Nicholson’s MusiCafe Beginning Bluegrass Club, 6:30 p.m. Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Live Band Karaoke, 8 p.m. Press Club Munechild, Small Skies, All About Rockets, 8 p.m. Shine Open Jazz Jam hosted by Jason Galbraith, 8 p.m. Torch Club Chris Twomey, 5:30 p.m.; Michael Ray, 8 p.m.

6.17 wednesday

Bar 101 Open Mic, 7:30 p.m. The Blue Lamp Jeff Turner, 8 p.m. Cafe Colonial Sniper66, Dead Weight, Rotten Bit, Ballistic Burnout, 7 p.m. Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m. The Colony Dysentery, Cognitive, Stillbirth, Placenta Powerfist, 8 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Dive Bar Todd Morgan, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose British Pop w/ DJ Roger Carpio, 8 p.m. Hard Rock Casino (Lake Tahoe) Rustler’s Heat, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Orgone, The Nth Power, 7 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Karaoke, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Oak Park Brewing Co. Million Dollar Giveaway, 7 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Local Licks Live, 8 p.m. Press Club Continental, In the Whale, Celestions, Cold Feelings, 8 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen Open Mic, 8:30 p.m. Starlite Lounge Giant Squid, Shadow Limb, Aequorea, 8 p.m. Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Peter Petty Band, 9 p.m.

6.18 Thursday

The Blue Lamp Skratchpad: The Sleeprockers, Dose, AJAX, Fedi, Luke Skratchrocker, 8 p.m. Cafe Colonial RAD, Hard Left, 2015, Class System, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 10 p.m. Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m. The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m. The Colony Valdur, Torture Chamber, Modraniht, Defecrator, Killgasm, Valley of Thorns, Rotten Funeral, Gloriam Draconis, Larry David, 8 p.m. Crocker Art Museum Sacramento Jazz Orchestra, 5 p.m. Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m. El Dorado Saloon DJ River, 9:30 p.m. Fox & Goose 40th Anniversary Party w/ Be Brave Bold Robot, Blue Moon Boys, Mike Justis Band, Steve McLane, 4 p.m. Fremont Park Hot Lunch Concert Series: Century Got Bars, 11:30 a.m. Harlow’s Eric Lindell, 5:30 p.m. The Hideaway Bar & Grill Trash Rock Thursdays, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, DJ Peeti V, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Acoustic Folk, 8 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Bryan White & Josh Budro, 10 p.m. Shine ZuhG, Joe Kye, 7 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen Latin Night, 9 p.m. Starlite Lounge Lunch, Butch vs. Femme, Vasas, 8 p.m. The Stoney Inn The Chad Bushnell Band, 9 p.m. Third Space Emby Alexander, Starrsha, Man Problems, 7 p.m. Torch Club Mind X Quartet, 5 p.m.; Sea Legs, Hunter & the Dirty Jacks, 9 p.m.

6.19 FRIDAY

Ace of Spades The English Beat, La Noche Oskura, 7 p.m. Back 9 Bar & Grill Salythia, Cataclysmic Assault, Bloodline of Ares, 7 p.m. Bar 101 Satisfi, 9:30 p.m. Berryessa Brewing Co. This Frontier Needs Heroes, 5 p.m. The Blue Lamp Free Up FridaysReggae w/ DJ Wokstar and Guests, 10 p.m. The Boardwalk Roach Gigz, 7 p.m. Capitol Garage Fyah Fridays w/ DJ Jaytwo, 10 p.m. Cesar Chavez Park Concerts In the Park w/ Mr. T Experience, The Four Eyes, The Enlows, Rebel Punk, DJ Whores, 5 p.m. Crazy Horse Saloon (Nevada City) ZuhG, 9:30 p.m. Dive Bar Massive Delicious, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Artificial Trees, 9 p.m. G Street WunderBar DJ Adrian G, 10 p.m. Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m. Goldfield Chris Gardner Band, 9 p.m. Hard Rock Casino (Lake Tahoe) Duran Duran Duran, 9 p.m. Harlow’s James Garner’s Tribute to

Johnny Cash, 5:30 p.m.; Whiskey N’ Rye, Ideateam, 10 p.m. The Hideaway The Flesh Hammers, Pat Todd & the Rankoutsiders, Drive-Thru Mystics, DJ Olaf Jens, 8 p.m. Kupros Craft House Salt Wizard, 9 p.m. Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) Albert Lee feat. Cindy Cashdollar, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 9 p.m. Old Ironsides Inferno of Joy, Black Saddle Hookers, Lonely Bulls, Peace Killers, 9 p.m. On The Y Kaustik, Chaos in Mind, Sour Diesel, Perfect Nightmare, 8 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Take Out!, 10 p.m. Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Colleen Heauser, 4 p.m.; Audioboxx, 9:30 p.m. Shine S.W.I.M., Outlined, Removed, 7 p.m. Starlite Lounge IVRY, Nesta, Casey V, Autopsy, TG Clark, Intalekt, Dos, 8 p.m. Sudwerk Brewing Co. Davis Music Fest Kick-off Party w/ French Cassettes, Scary Little Friends, Joy & Madness, Crow Canyon, 5:30 p.m. Swabbies on the River Sublime tribute, 6 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort George Thorogood, Brian Setzer, 7 p.m. Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5:30 p.m.; Kevin Russell, 9 p.m. William Land Park Sacramento Juneteenth Festival: Gospel Under the Stars, 7 p.m.

6.20 Saturday

Ace of Spades The Original Wailers, Natural Vibrations, 7 p.m. Armadillo Music Davis Music Fest: Field Medic, Albion Moonlight, Tre Burt, The Lurk, Sweet 100’s, Windmills, 4 p.m. Back 9 Bar & Grill Jack Ketch, Twelve Gauge Facelift, Wrath of Tides, 9 p.m. Bar 101 Soul Shine Band, 9:30 p.m. Berryessa Brewing Co. Element Brass Band, 3 p.m. The Blue Lamp Timothy Rhyme (Album Release), 60 East, 4 p.m.; Krayzie Bone, 8 p.m. The Boardwalk California Bear Gang (Album Release), Devin the Dude, Cousin FIK, Dalima, and more, 7 p.m. Cache Creek Casino The Beach Boys, 4 & 7:30 p.m. Capitol Garage Feel Good Saturday’s w/ DJ Epik, 10 p.m. The Colony Blackout Betty (Mötley Crüe tribute), Archangel (Misfits tribute), 6:30 p.m. Delta of Venus Davis Music Fest: Future Us, The Bumptet, Notorious Shank Brothers, Bottom Dwellers, Bonanza King, 4 p.m. Fox & Goose Sea Legs, Cory Norris & Grilled Cheese, Thomas Castillo, 9 p.m. G Street WunderBar Davis Music Fest: Big Sticky Mess, Bonnie & the Big Bang, The Trims, Drive-Thru Mystics, They Went Ghost and More, 4:30 p.m. Goldfield Tyler Rich, 9 p.m. Hallmark Inn Davis Music Fest: IdeaTeam, Element Brass Band, Bomba Fried Rice, Zapato Viejo, Sea Lioness, 4 p.m. Hard Rock Casino (Lake Tahoe) Rebel Soul, 9 p.m. Harlow’s Super Huey, 5:30 p.m.; Duran Duran Duran, Mother of a Girl (Violent Femmes tribute), 9:30 p.m. Harrah’s Lake Tahoe Dave Mason’s Traffic Jam, 7:30 p.m. The Hideaway The Bananas, Violence Creeps, The Croissants, Yogurt Brain, 5 p.m. KBAR Z Rokk, 9 p.m. Kupros Craft House Sandra Dolores, 9 p.m. Level Up Lounge Guest DJs, 9 p.m.

continued on page 24

>>

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

23


Luna’s Cafe Boneyard Rattlers, Aaron Linkin, Jay Shaner, 8:30 p.m. Main Stage Theater (Grass Valley) The Countess Katya Smirnoff-Skyy, 8 p.m. Mix DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m. Nicholson’s MusiCafe Dr. Hall Songwriters Showcase, 3 p.m.; Gerard Morgan & George Sheldon, 7 p.m. Odd Fellows Hall Davis Music Fest: Crossbill Records 10 Year Anniversary w/ Be Calm Honcho, Two Sheds, West Nile Ramblers, Sunmonks, Tom Brosseau, Appetite, 5 p.m. Old Ironsides The Troublemakers, The Sutters IV, Mr. Schneider Four, 9 p.m. Palladio Folsom Rhythm and Brews w/ The Stone Foxes, Shane Dwight, Brad Wilson, Tom Rigney and Flambeau, Chris Gardner Band, Late For Dinner, 12 p.m. The Park Ultra Lounge DJ William Lane, 9 p.m. Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Wild Child, 10 p.m. Press Club Imbibed By The Quasar, Symbolik, The Brotherhood of Ellipsis, Salythia, 5 p.m.; DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Red Hawk Casino Audioboxx, 10 p.m. Shine Blame The Bishop, The Orange Scene, The Kally O’Mally, 7 p.m. Sophia’s Thai Kitchen Davis Music Fest: Miss Lonely Hearts, Bed., Golden Gate String Quartet, Haunted Summer, Rich Girls, Sir Henry, Taxes, 4:45 p.m. Starlite Lounge Castle, Cold Blue Mountain, Crimson Eye, Kyntallah, 8 p.m. Swabbies on the River Fleetwood Mask, Heartless, 1:30 p.m. Third Space Davis Music Fest: M3RC, Mountain of Youth, Ryan Geller, Blu-J, Hrmonik, Mr. Glass and More, 5:30 p.m. Thunder Valley Casino Resort Bell Biv Devoe, Blackstreet and More, 6 p.m.

24

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5:30 p.m.; Frank Bey, Anthony Paule, 9 p.m. Trackside Davis Music Fest: Boca Do Rio, Hollow Point Stumblers, Tha Dirt Feelin, Desario, Sometimes Warren, 4:30 p.m. Vini Wine Bar Davis Music Fest: Jon Hatamiya Quintet, Misner & Smith, Owl Paws, Ross Hammond and More, 4:30 p.m. Westlake Park West Fest 2015 w/ Posterchild, 6 p.m. William Land Park Sacramento Juneteenth Festival, 8 a.m.

6.21 Sunday

Bar 101 Andrew Castro, 2 p.m. Berryessa Brewing Co. Zorelli, 3 p.m. The Blue Lamp Jake Simmons, Embryo, Electric Snorkel, The WhereWithAlls, 8 p.m. Broderick Roadhouse Karaoke w/ DJ Jazcat, 9 p.m. Cache Creek Casino Chris Gardner Band, 5 p.m. Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m. Delta of Venus Davis Music Fest Hangover Brunch: Gravy Nation, Alicia Murphy, Planes on Paper, Moonlit Wheat, 10 a.m. Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m. Goldfield Two Steps Down, 1 p.m. Harlow’s Vetiver, Kevin Lee Florence, Range of Light Wilderness, 7 p.m. Mix DJ Gabe Xavier, 8:30 p.m. Off Center Stage (Grass Valley) Aaron Ross, Young Nudist, Casual Fog, 7:30 p.m. Powerhouse Pub Kyle Rowland, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m. Swabbies on the River Solsa, 3 p.m. Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Whiskey & Rye, 8 p.m. Woodstock’s Pizza Davis Music Fest Hangover Brunch: Dank Ocean, Evan Daily Blues Band, Mau, 12:30 p.m.

6.22 Monday

The Blue Lamp Jamie Nova Sky, Bri Cowgill, Joshua Leif, Mark of Defyance, 8 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m. Cafe Colonial Lesbian, Modern Man, Cura Cochina, 8 p.m. Capitol Garage Open Mic Night hosted by Musical Charis, 9 p.m. Crest Theatre The ABBA Show, 7 p.m. Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m. Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. Goldfield Open Mic Night hosted by James Cavern, 9 p.m. Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m. LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m. Press Club Two Cow Garage, Dead Volts, 50 Watt Heavy, 8 p.m.

Comedy Center for Spiritual Awareness Sandra Valls, June 12, 7 p.m. Community Center Theater Eddie Izzard, June 16, 8 p.m. Bill Burr, June 19, 7:30 p.m. Jay & Silent Bob Get Old LIVE!, June 20, 7 p.m.

Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

Fair Oaks Veterans Memorial Amphitheatre Don Barnhart Comedy and Hypnosis Show, June 12, 8 p.m. Laughs Unlimited Eric Blake feat. Ryan Wingfield, June 12 - 14, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Best of Open Mic Showcase, June 16, 8 p.m. Michael Calvin Jr. Presents: Say It Loud Comedy w/ Regina Givens, Neshima Ford and More, June 18, 8 p.m. Todd Johnson feat. Tristan Johnson, June 19 - 21, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Luna’s Cafe Open Mic Comedy hosted by Jaime Fernandez, every Tuesday, 7:30 p.m. STAB! hosted by John Ross, June 17, 8 p.m. Punchline Comedy Club Mike E. Winfield and Friends, June 10, 8 p.m. Nikki Carr, June 11 - 14, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. The Best Medicine Show with Ngaio Bealum, June 17, 8 p.m. The Hella Show Presented by Josh Waldron, June 18, 8 p.m. Taylor Williamson, June 19 - 21, Fri. & Sat., 8 & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m. Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic, Sunday’s and Monday’s, 8 p.m. Improv Lab, Harold Night & Gordon Teams, Wednesday’s, 7 - 10 p.m. Cage Match & Improv Jam, Thursday’s, 8 - 10 p.m. Anti-Cooperation League, Saturday’s, 9 p.m. YOU! The Musical, June 19, 9 p.m. Tommy T’s Mike E Winfield, June 11, 7 p.m. Justin Rivera, June 12 - 14 Kym Whitley, June 19 - 21

Misc. 1801 L Street The Mastermind Hunt: Sacramento, June 20, 4 p.m. 20th Street (Between J and K) Midtown Farmers Market, every Saturday, 8 a.m. Avid Reader (Broadway) Book Launch & Reading: The Grey Door by Dänna Wilberg, June 20 2 p.m. Beatnik Studios Lights Are On Nobody’s Home by Ben Ehrmann and Kelly O’Connell, through June 30 Blue Cue Bar Bingo, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m. The Blue Lamp Naughty Trivia!, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m. Brickhouse Gallery Open Mic Poetry feat. Thepoetstanleyray, June 13, 9 p.m. Capitol Garage Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m. Crest Theatre Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, June 12, 9:30 p.m. The Godfather, June 14, 7:30 p.m. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, June 18, 7:30 p.m. Sacramento French Film Festival, June 19 - 28 Croatian American Cultural Center Croatian Extravaganza: European Food & Music Festival, June 13 - 14 Crocker Art Museum David Ligare: California Classicist, through Sept. 20 ArtMix: PRIDE, June 11, 5 p.m. Davis Art Center Form Effects by Andy Cunningham, through June 30 Del Paso Boulevard Sacramento Taco Festival, June 20, 10 a.m. Elliott Fouts Gallery Opening Reception for Latitudes by Micah Crandall-Bear, June 13, 6 p.m.; Exhibition runs through July 2 FE Gallery A Little of This and A Little of That w/ Ron Walker, Rachel Perez, Kevin Wilhite and More, June 11 - 30 Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesday’s, 7 p.m.

Guild Theatre The Mask You Live In, June 10, 6 p.m. Historic Old Folsom Farmers’ Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m. Howe Park Movie at the Park: The Great Outdoors, June 19, 8:30 p.m. John Natsoulas Gallery As Above, So Below: Reflections on Immanence by Laura Hohlwein, through June 27 Kealoha Bodywork All Day Live Art Event w/ Nic Arnold and Saxon, June 15 Laughs Unlimited Respect to the Queen Poetry Night, June 11, 8 p.m. Little Relics Boutique & Galleria Art Show w/ Bob Herron & Peter Wedel, through June 28 Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m. Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, every Wednesday, 8 p.m. Pine Cove Trivia Night, Wednesday’s, 9 p.m. Pins N Strikes (Elk Grove) The Big Showstopper: Spoken Word Competition, June 19, 9 p.m. Press Club Flex Your Head Trivia, Tuesday’s, 8 p.m. Red Dot Gallery Self: Beyond the Face feat. Artwork by Laurelin Gilmore, Mary Czechan Coldren, Jenny Long, Kainan Becker and More, through June 27 Sacred City Derby Girls Warehouse June Boom! Tournament w/ The Sacred Sacrificers, Shasta Roller Derby, Fabulous Sin City Rollergirls, and Tucson Roller Derby, June 13 - 14 WKI 2 Studio Gallery 5 Styles of Art w/ Paydirt, Paco, Pawn, Brent Patten, Melissa Silva, and Nomaste, June 13, 4 p.m. White Buffalo Gallery Opening Receptions for Perspective Reverence by Demetris “B.A.M.R.” Washington, June 11 & 13, 5 p.m. Verge Center for the Arts Sacramento Meditations by Jeff Enlow, Helen and Newton Harrison, Susannah Sayler and Edward Morris, Brett Snyder, Jenny Stark, June 11 - Aug. 16

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas


T Friday,

june 12 Saturday,

june 13 Sunday,

june 14 thurSday,

Rated r Words james barone There’s been a hole in my heart since Entourage ended. Sure, the last season was total garbage, and when you look at the whole of the series, well, it wasn’t like life-affirming, high-brow entertainment. It was just a bunch of dudes being dudes, but on a level of dude-dom that the rest of us could only hope to achieve. I have to admit that I had very low expectations for the Entourage movie (weren’t most of Vinny Chase’s films flops?) but maybe it’s for that reason that I enjoyed this movie so much. We pick up where the final HBO season left off. Mega movie star Vincent Chase’s (Adrian Grenier) impetuous marriage to a reporter he barely knew has ended after nine days, but he ain’t even mad. The couple decided they were better off friends, so Vince is throwing a big-ass party on a boat off the coast of Ibiza. Of course his big brother Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon) and his two best friends—his loyal lackey turned tequila tycoon Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) and his manager Eric (Kevin Connolly) —are invited, and everyone’s having a blast. But no one can party forever. Not even the Entourage boys. Enter Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven), Vince’s Hollywood power agent, who’s coming out of retirement to head a movie studio, and he’s got an awesome project greenlit for his favorite movie star. The catch? Vince wants to act and direct this one. SAY WHAAAAA … Fast forward a few months. The project is way over budget. The studio is going to have Ari’s head if he doesn’t deliver a blockbuster, and Vince, normally the poster child for confidence, is beginning to doubt himself. One thing’s for sure, though, the movie—an effects-laden, dystopian SubmergeMag.com

future flick dubbed Hyde—will never even get finished if the boys don’t get more money. Ari has to travel to Texas to woo the film’s investor, Larsen McCredle (Billy Bob Thornton), to dig deeper into his cavernous pockets even though no one’s even seen a frame of this thing. Larsen agrees, but only if his flunky son Travis (Haley Joel Osment) gives Hyde a favorable review. Meanwhile, the love of Eric’s life, Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui), is about to give birth to their child, and are they together or aren’t they together, but they’re going to Lamaze class together and yadda, yadda … How will all this turn out for the guys? In a word: Awesome. That’s how everything eventually turns out for the guys. They drive fancy cars, go to fancy parties and have sex with even fancier women, and not just once in a while, but on the regular. Sure, careers and reputations are on the line for these characters, but there are never really any dire situations. If Hyde ends up being a flop, the guys would probably just hop in their sleek new Cadillac convertible and drive back to Turtle’s beachside mansion and cry about it. No one’s going to end up living on the street begging for money. The stakes are low, but fortunately, the entertainment value is high. Entourage plays fast and loose for the most part, allowing all the show’s signature characters their moments to shine without getting bogged down in unnecessary plot points (though it would have been nice to see bigger contributions from Rex Lee’s Lloyd and Rhys Coiro’s Billy Walsh, both of whom always

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shined in supporting roles in the series). Of the big five, it’s no surprise that Piven is most on-point as Ari, who in the film struggles against reverting to his tendency for sudden outbursts of work-stress rage that nearly ended his marriage. Also, Dillon provides some of the film’s more memorable moments, as Johnny comes to grips with playing second fiddle to his baby bro while still hoping to carve his own niche in Hollywood. For fans of the show, the movie will basically feel like a 104-minute bro hug, but those who missed the cable series will find a lot to enjoy. An interview segment early on with Piers Morgan (one of the film’s many celebrity cameos, my favorites being Jessica Alba and Armie Hammer) gives a quick rundown of everything you missed while giving a wink and nod to Entourage fan boys, such as showing the infamous Mentos commercial that introduced Vince to Ari, and flashing a picture of Eric working at the Sbarro in Queens. Entourage is basically Sex and the City for post-teen man-boys, so what you see is what you get. But for what it’s worth, the former’s first foray to the big screen was more successful than the latter’s. High five, bro.

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

25


ElEctric Six

thursday

WhitE rEapEr

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MaSon JEnningS

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orgonE / thE nth poWEr

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VEtiVEr

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10 t H

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

I rummage through a lot of headlines as part of the usual process of writing this column. Whether or not it comes through in the finished product, it’s actually a lot of work. Over the past 188 issues prior to this one, I’ve come across a lot of troubling headlines: Ebola outbreaks, mass shootings at schools, whatever shenanigans ISIS is up to. But today on Google News, I discovered one of the most disturbing headlines I’ve ever seen, because it hits close to home for all of us: “Your toothbrush may be covered in poop.” Just let that sink in for a second, because the subhead is perhaps even more frightening: “Researchers found no practical method for daily protection from fecal contamination.” (Italics were mine.) Honestly, I’d be willing to hear out any impractical methods they might have come up with, but that’s another matter. The article written by Brooks Hays for UPI.com references a study conducted by researchers at Quinnipiac University. The study focused on resident students who shared bathrooms with at least nine other people, and it was discovered that 60 percent of the toothbrushes tested “were contaminated with fecal matter, regardless of storage method,” and 80 percent of those poop-positive toothbrushes were adorned with feces particles that belonged to someone other than its owner. Even if you live alone, your toothbrush may be little more than a minty-fresh poopsicle, but the researchers stated in a press release that you don’t have to worry about that so much. It’s OPP (other people’s poop) that’s the real danger here, because it “contains bacteria, viruses or parasites that are not part of your normal flora.” Sure, this is unappetizing news. Just the idea that I’m probably scrubbing my mouth every morning with a cocktail of Colgate and my “normal flora” triggers my gag reflex much in the same way the thought of someone drinking a warm, mucus-y bottle of Kombucha (just puked in my mouth a little) does. However, as the subheading to the article reads, we are defenseless against this fecal invasion. Researchers found no magical way to store your toothbrush to keep it poop-free. Like, those little plastic covers you can put over the

bristles? They just keep your toothbrush moist and ripe for bacterial growth. You’re better off just airing it out and hoping for the best. Basically, eat shit and like it. What’s refreshing about this headline, though, is that it’s so direct. Hays and UPI. com could have easily gone the Upworthy/ Buzzfeed route and came up with something like, “Scientists Study Your Toothbrush, and What They Found Will Frighten You.” I mean, what they found did frighten me, but what frightens me more are headlines that tell me how I’m supposed to feel about something. When I see a video of a doggy freaking out because his favorite girl human returned home from college, it makes me giggle like a 12-year-old hearing a dick joke for the first time. That’s because I’m a human being who experiences real human emotions, and anything involving dogs loving up on something/someone and yapping like a doofus and being so happy they do that thing where their whole body curves into a U-shape is going to make me feel every feel. You don’t have to bait me with a headline like, “What Happens Next Will Astonish Me.” What if it doesn’t? What if I’m only bemused? You’re just going to make me feel inadequate, and it’s going to cause me to ban articles from your site from my Facebook feed. Also, don’t start anything with, “You’ll never believe …” because I’m apt to believe just about anything. I’m still positive that black and white, grainy photo of the Loch Ness Monster’s head and neck peeking above the water is proof that there’s some sort of ancient sea beasty residing in a Scottish lake. I don’t care how many myth-busters out there have debunked it as a hoax. I don’t care. You don’t live in the Loch. How the fuck would you know what’s down there? Anyway, what I mean to say is, no matter how disgusting it is, I’m proud of UPI.com for just saying it like they mean it. It’s proof to me that real journalism can exist in the Internet age. I’ll take comfort that there are still some watchdogs of democracy out there fighting the good fight, even as I scrub my teeth with spearmint-flavored poop particles. At least it’s better than the shit the rest of the Web is trying to feed me.

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Issue 189 • June 8 – June 22, 2015

27


Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas June 8 – 22, 2015

#189

wo Tv v Sheds Robert Berry Live and Loud

Jay & Silent Bob Get Old Right in Front of Our Eyes

Micah CrandallBear Event Horizon

• Midtown Mastermind Madness •

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mewithoutYou Make the Moment Last

The Birthing Process

Entourage The Boys Are Back in Town


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