Submerge Magazine: Issue 308 (January 1 - 15, 2020)

DIVE INTO SACRAMENTO & ITS SURROUNDING AREAS

JANUARY 1 – 15, 2020

#308

MICHAEL CARBONARO USE YOUR ILLUSION LEARN HOW TO CROSS COUNTRY SKI

MAKEBELIEF FRUITS OF ONE’S LABOR JELLO BIAFRA &..OTHERS TO PLAY THE WURST ROCK ‘N’ ROLL MATINEE

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL’S AMALUNA COMES TO SACRAMENTO!

PUNCH BOWL SOCIAL EAT. PLAY. LOVE.

5

JANUARY EVENTS TO JUMP START THE YEAR

RICHAUN

HOLMES THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED

FREE

Serving Netillo’s Takos!

1630 J Street SACRAMENTO (916) 476-5076 Monday January 6 | 7:30pm | $10 | all ages

The Picturebooks Dustin Burke

Tuesdays!

$1 TACOS +

Friday January 24 7:30pm | free | all ages

plus guest

Taco

$1 OFF ALL BEERS

Chad Bushnell

ALL DAY LONG

ALBUM RELEASE SHOW!

Saturday January 25 | 7:30pm | free | all ages

Thursday January 9 7:30pm | $26 | all ages

American Mile

Justin Townes Earle

plus

Jonny Two Bags

Monday January Friday January 17 6 | 7:30pm | $10 | all ages plus guest 7:30pm | $15 | all ages

The Picturebooks Dustin Burke

Josh Ward

STARTING AT 10PM

FVME

Thursday February 6 7:30pm | $26.50 | all ages

Black Uhuru

DJs OASIS JOSEPH ONE & FRIENDS

plus special guest

plus special guest

Etana

Randall King Saturday January 18 | 7:30pm | $10 | all ages

The Bergamot

Saturday February 8 | 7pm | $25adv | all ages PLUS Dean Fraser

Tarrus Riley

and

Blak Soil Band

Sunday February 9 | 7:30pm | $16adv | all ages

Saturday January 18 7:30pm | free

Logan Mize

UFC 246

mcgregor vs

cerrone

Willie Jones Tuesday Monday February 10 11 | 7:30pm || $15 $26 | all ages

Wednesday January 22 7:30pm | $13 | all ages

turday, ember 22

The Melvins World / Inferno Friendship Society

Struggle Jennings

Darling mentines

COMING SOON:

que &Variety

2

Jan 11 Merkules (Sold Out) Feb 11 the melvins Feb 12 Horrorpops Feb 13 Jerrod Niemann

plus special guests

Hepa. Titus and Cunts

The Bridge City Sinners Feb 24 Mike & The Moonpies,

Feb 29 The Aggrolites March 8 Hot Snakes March 21 Jason Boland

Feb 26 Delta Bombers

May 10 Jim Lauderdale

Feb 14 Marty O’Reilly

& the Old Soul Orchestra

Quaker City Night Hawks

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

& The Stragglers

DJs every Friday , Saturda y STARTING AT 10PM

21 TVs your spot for free

UFC PPV,

nhl, NBA, and

Nfl

BOOK YOUR NEXT EVENT AT GOLDFIELD!

Corporate Events, Private Parties, Birthday’s & More F O R M O R E I N F O V I S I T G O L D F I E L DT R A D I N G P O S T. CO M

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

3

308 2020

DIVE IN

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

RESOLUTION TIME … EXCELLENT!?

JANUARY 1 – 15

16

MELISSA WELLIVER melissa@submergemag.com COFOUNDER/ EDITOR IN CHIEF/ ART DIRECTOR

Melissa Welliver melissa@ submergemag.com COFOUNDER/ ADVERTISING DIRECTOR

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@ submergemag.com SENIOR EDITOR

James Barone ASSISTANT EDITOR

Ryan Prado

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Amber Amey, Ellen Baker, Robin Bacior, Robert Berry, Syrah Caparas, Michael Cella, Bocephus Chigger, Ronnie Cline, Justin Cox, Alia Cruz, Miranda Culp, Brittney Delgado, Josh Fernandez, Lovelle Harris, Mollie Hawkins, Tyler Horst, Ryan Kaika, Niki Kangas, Nur Kausar, Grant Miner, Olivia Monahan, John Phillips, Paul Piazza, Claudia Rivas, Daniel Romandia, Andrew Russell, Maxwell Shukuya, Jacob Sprecher, Richard St. Ofle

10 The

Boardwalk FRI, JAN 10

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Wesley Davis, Evan Duran, Dillon Flowers, Julia E. Heath, Jon Hermison, Paul Piazza, Tyrel Tesch

12

9426 GREENBACK ORANGEVALE (916) 358-9116 BOARDWALKROCKS.COM

Submerge

P.O. Box 160282 Sacramento, California 95816

916.441.3803

ALL AGES • 7:30PM

THE PAT TRAVERS BAND

info@ submergemag.com

ARMINIUS TWO WORLDS “PLUGGED IN” SAT, JAN 11

ALL AGES • 7:30PM

NIVIANE

POTENTIAL THREAT / SONIC PROPHECY FROM THE RUINS / ABEYANCE MON, JAN 13

20

ALL AGES • 6:30PM

SCARY KIDS SCARING KIDS SECRETS / PUSH OVER THE NEVER & NOW FRI, JAN 24

ALL AGES • 6:30PM

THE KENNEDY VEIL

04

DIVE IN

12

PUNCH BOWL SOCIAL

SAT, JAN 25

06

THE STREAM

16

RICHAUN HOLMES

07

OPTIMISTIC PESSIMIST

20

MICHAEL CARBONARO

09

SUBMERGE YOUR SENSES

22

CALENDAR

10

MAKEBELIEF

26

THE SHALLOW END

FLUB / EQUIPOISE / TYRANNOCANNON SMACK’D UP / BAVMORDA ALL AGES • 6PM

ORGY

LIONCOURT / ANARCHY LACE / TRIGGEREFFECT WINTER REIGN / BAVMORDA FRI, JAN 31

ALL AGES • 6:30PM

IT’S NOT A PHASE

AN EMO, POP PUNK & POST HARCORE PARTY

HOSTED BY JORDAN BLAKE (OF A SKYLIT DRIVE) SADGHOST / APOLLO’S KEY SUN, FEB 2

ALL AGES • 6:30PM

THE CLASSIC CRIME

ASSUMING WE SURVIVE / ORANGE SUNSHINE WESTERN SPIES & THE KOSMONAUT

4

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media. All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away.

Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at P.O. Box 160282, Sacramento, California 95816.

Or you can email us at info@submergemag.com.

SUBMERGEMAG.COM Follow us on Twitter & Instagram! @SubmergeMag PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER

FRONT COVER PHOTO OF RICHAUN HOLMES

BY TYREL TESCH BACK COVER PHOTO COURTESY OF TRICKSTER PRODUCTIONS INC.

Happy New Year! I realize resolutions are stupid, and most of them get broken in the first week or so. But to be honest, there’s a part of me that actually likes them. It’s the time of year when you can reflect on what you’d like to change.

This past year, I made my resolution at the end of January. I was OK with that, because it was the same one that everyone has …

Get in better shape. And I knew gyms and fitness places were going to be a little too bonkers for me in January. I dove in head first in February. I decided to give pilates a shot. And for once in my life, I kept a New Year’s resolution. I have 120 classes under my belt and will continue to do more in 2020.

But what about 2020?

This past month I’ve reflected on how I was starting to become a bit of a homebody and had been a little stuck doing the same ol’ same ol’.

After having a super fun December— meeting up with friends for birthdays, Christmas parties, going out to lunch with old friends and writers—I’ve decided I’m going to try to be a little more socially active in 2020. And that also means getting out of my comfort zone and actually going to new places. In the past month I’ve gone to a handful of new spots in the Downtown Commons and loved it. Being an introvert can get the best of me, but in 2020, I tell you, no more!

One of the spots I checked out was Punch Bowl Social. It has been open for two years but with all the construction downtown, I psyched myself out and never went. I’ve gone to Punch Bowl three times this past month and realized I’ve been missing out. I love games, food and cocktails, and this place has plenty of those things to choose from. Please read our feature by Lovelle Harris on the “eatertainment” spot, Punch Bowl Social, starting on page 12.

A special thank you is in order: The lovely folks who run Punch Bowl Social locally and those in their corporate department let us do a fantastic photo shoot with Richaun Holmes of the Sacramento Kings in their Holiday Lodge and bowling alley room. Be sure to read about everybody’s favorite new Kings player on page 16. Shout out to Michael Cella for writing, hands down, one of my favorite Submerge reads of all time. And last but not least shout out to Tyrel Tesch (and his assistant Kyle Rynicki) for the amazing photos that are accompanying this piece.

Resolutions! See, they’re not so bad!

Read. Learn. Do more rad things in 2020.

Melissa Welliver

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

2708 J Street SACRAMENTO 916.441.4693 HARLOWS.COM * ALL Saturday

TIMES ARE DOOR TIMES*

Saturday 8PM $32.50 21+

Wednesday

JAN 29

Friday

JAN 4

JAN 17

ACHILLES WHEEL

5:30PM $20 all ages

9PM $18adv 21+

ACME SOUNDTRACKS

Saturday

BLACKALICIOUS

JAN 4

9:30PM $25adv 21+

ROOTS & TINGS

THE DARLING CLEMENTINES

Thursday

JAN 9 7PM $15 18+

STARGAZING: A BOWIE TRIBUTE

5:30PM $12adv all ages

9:30PM $22.50adv 21+

6PM $20 all ages

9:30PM $12adv 21+

JOY & MADNESS

Saturday

IRISHPALOOZA 2020:

JAN 11

WHISKEY & STITCHES, ONE-EYED REILLY, THE PIKEYS, STEPPING STONE,

5:30PM $15 all ages

THE MCKEEVER SCHOOL OF IRISH DANCE & SPECIAL GUEST BOB EASTWALL

Thursday

WAND

JAN 16

7PM $15adv 21+

LIQUID LIGHTS BY MAD ALCHEMY

wed JAN 8 5:30PM | ALL AGES

JAN 21

MORGAN HERITAGE

8PM $30adv 21+

Thursday

JAN 23

6:30PM $22adv all ages Friday

JAN 24

8PM $22.50adv 21+

thu JAN 9 6PM | ALL AGES

YBN CORDAE

SOLD OUT

SCARFACE WITH FULL BAND THE PHILHARMONIK

THE FRED EAGLESMITH SHOW

STARRING TIF GINN

JAN 31

DRAKE BELL

Saturday

THE PURPLE ONES

FEB 1

RETT MADISON

REBECCA FOON

THE LIL SMOKIES

6PM $15adv all ages

THEO KATZMAN LEIF VOLLEBEKK

LOW! TIX

Friday

& ANSWERS TOUR

Tuesday

JAN 10

7PM $20 21+

9PM $17adv 21+

Sunday

JAN 19

THE ROA BROTHERS BAND, SPACEWALKER, THE HEY-NOWS!, THE TIPSY ORCHESTRINA

Friday

6PM $20adv all ages

JAN 18

“JUICY JANUARY”

Friday

JAN 30

Saturday

BURLESQUE & VARIETY SHOW

JAN 10

Thursday

MIDGE URE SONGS, QUESTIONS

JAN 18

NIA 20TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR

7PM $16adv 21+

TAINTED LOVE BEST OF THE ‘80S LIVE!

Saturday

WYCLEF JEAN

JAN 25

THE INSATIABLE TRIBUTE TO PRINCE

COMING SOON 2.02 Ra d i c a l Fa ce 2.05 Grate f u l S hre d 2.10 Pi ne g rove 2.15 Ta coc at 2.16 Lu nd + g u cc i hi g hwate r s 2.18 Ma g i c Ci ty H i p p i e s 2.21 (sold out) +2.22 The Jimmy Dore Show Live 2.22 And y S ha u f (late) 2.23 B a d f i s h (S ublime Tribute) 2.26 Com b o Chi m b i ta & Y L a B a m b a 2.27 Du s tb ow l Revi va l 2.28 L a s Cafete ra s 2.29 Lowe r De ns 3.01 Er i c Ga le s 3.04 Chu rc h of Mi s e r y 3.06 Mu s ta c he Ha r b or 3.08 R . LUM. R 3.16 Da n De a con 3.17 S u m m e r S a lt 4.03 Of Montre a l 4.09 Mod S u n 4.19 The Ja m e s H u nte r S i x 4.20 Poli ç a 5.05 Mu d honey 6.12 N i k k a Cos ta

fri JAN 10 8PM | 21+

sat JAN 11 6PM | ALL AGES

sun JAN 12 6:30PM | 21+

NGAIO BEALUM

THE UP ‘N COMIN’ LIVE EXPERIENCE

ANDY SANTANA & THE

PLUM ANDERSON

THE NICKEL SLOTS

DIAMOND, ZARIA, AARON LE

mon JAN 20 6PM | ALL AGES

wed JAN 22 5:30PM | ALL AGES

fri JAN 24 8PM | 21+

tue JAN 28 6PM | ALL AGES

wed JAN 29 5:30PM | ALL AGES

BIG CHIEFS

FOG LAKE

TWO-TONE STEINY & DANNY SANDOVAL

CITIES YOU WISH YOU WERE FROM, JESSICA MALONE

DUDE YORK

DANA MORET

fri JAN 31 6PM | ALL AGES DOGLEG, GLASS BEACH

tue FEB 4 7PM | 21+

BLUES & BOURBON

2708 J Street wed JAN 15 5:30PM | ALL AGES

BLUES & BOURBON

SubmergeMag.com

WEST COAST PLAYBOYS

FOXES IN FICTION

HOMEBOY SANDMAN, QUELLE CHRIS

BEAUTY QUEEN, COUNTRY CLUB

BLUES & BOURBON

fri FEB 7 8PM | 21+ NIVIANE “THE RUTHLESS DIVINE” LISTENING PARTY

MERRYGOLD

HOSTED BY

JOHN ANGELO COLEMAN

HOSTED BY WENDY WILLIAMS

BLUES & BOURBON

sun FEB 16 6PM | ALL AGES

sat FEB 22 6PM | ALL AGES

BRYSON CONE

AUSTN

PART TIME, GARY WILSON

COMEDY BURGER

LOS RETROS, KWE$T

sun MAR 1 6PM | ALL AGES HABIBI RUDY DE ANDA

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

5

THE STREAM

SUBMERGE’S QUICK PICKS: JANUARY 2020 EVENT HIGHLIGHTS

JONATHAN CARABBA

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

It’s a new month, a new year and a new decade, but one thing stays the same: Sacramento is a funas-heck place to live! Even in January—a month many would consider “slow” or “sleepy”— there are a plethora of awesome concerts, comedy shows and other events to choose from that are happening in around town. Here is a brief rundown of some highlights coming up this month.

S A C A N I M E • F R I D AY, J A N . 3 – S U N D AY, J A N . 5 A pop culture festival with an anime twist, SacAnime’s gigantic annual winter event is this weekend! Expect thousands of costumed fans, a huge exhibitor room and artist alley with a fantastic guest list, plus plenty of autograph sessions, photo ops, along with guest panels, cosplay masquerade, late night electronic dance, swap meet, video gaming, collectible card games and more.

With the Sacramento Convention Center currently under construction, SacAnime moves to Cal Expo (1600 Exposition Blvd.) for the first time ever. More info and tickets at Sacanime.com.

WINTERFEST 2020 AT ACE OF SPADES S AT U R DAY, J A N . 4 It’s always cool to see local bands on Sacramento’s biggest stage and at Winterfest 2020 at Ace of Spades (1417 R St.) you can do just that with a killer all-local lineup of rock, indie and pop bands: Dark Signal, A Foreign Affair, Nerv, The Color Wild, A Summer Alive, Centersight, For the Kids and Saint Juniper. Eight bands, $12, can’t beat that. All ages welcome, doors open at 5 p.m. Check out Aceofspadessac. com for more info and to buy tickets (pro tip: buy them in person to avoid fees at Ace’s box office; check their website for hours).

Dark Signal

I R I S H PA L O OZ A 2 0 2 0 • S AT U R D AY, J A N . 11 From traditional, folk, rock to punk, get ready for a night of pure Irishness at this ninth annual event with local bands Stepping Stone, Whiskey and Stitches, One-Eyed Reilly, and The Pikeys. Dancers from the The McKeever School of Irish Dance will also be in attendance along with special musical guest Bob Eastwall. This event packs out every year, so getting tickets in advance ($15 through Harlows. com) is highly encouraged. Rumor has it this is Whiskey and Stitches’ last gig, so don’t miss it! Irishpalooza takes place at Harlow’s (2708 J St.).

Whiskey and Stitches

FUTURE OF COMEDY SHOWCASE W E D N E S DAY, J A N . 15 Catch a bunch of buzzworthy stand-up comedians on one show at the 2020 Future of Comedy Showcase at Punch Line (2100 Arden Way) with host Kabir “Kabeezy” Singh and a special “mystery headliner” who has been seen on Comedy Central and Showtime. Openers include Buddy Dean, Artie Valenzuela, Westley Hofman and more. Those 18-plus allowed in, starts at 8 p.m., tickets are $18 at the door. Look up Punchlinesac.com for more.

Kabir “Kabeezy” Singh

T H E A R T O F B E E R I N V I TAT I O N A L • F R I D AY, J A N . 2 4 By far my personal favorite of all the craft beer related events in or around the Sacramento area is the annual Art of Beer Invitational. The lines aren’t long, the people are friendly and the beer is world class. This year, 35 breweries will be pouring unlimited 4-ounce tastings, and as always, there will be a beer-themed art gallery area where you can bid on your favorite pieces to help organizers raise money toward their goal of adopting a wish for a Make-A-Wish child in our community.

The Art of Beer takes place at McClellan Conference Center (5411 Luce Ave., McClellan Park) and tickets are $60 for general admission or $70 for VIP. Check out Artofbeerinvitational.com for more info and to purchase tickets.

6

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

THE OPTIMISTIC PESSIMIST YOU’RE PLAYIN’ YOURSELF BOCEPHUS CHIGGER bocephus@submergemag.com Slow your roll; you are about to do it again. The New Year is here and with it comes your bullshit resolutions that you’ll never be able to live up to. Why do we even bother? Some of you keep your resolutions to yourself so that others aren’t disappointed when you give up, while others tell everybody in the hopes that their friends will hold them accountable. No matter how you play it, one thing remains true: You are not going to pull this off.

New Year’s resolutions are odd ducks. History. com says they’ve been around since the ancient Babylonians first began celebrating New Year’s Day around 4,000 years ago. Long ago, these resolute OGs made promises to the gods in hopes that good things would happen in the coming year if they kept their word. Over time, the idea of resolutions was tweaked by religion and eventually non-religious people until it grew into the self-serving debacle we know today. Today’s resolutions are not so much promises to the gods, but instead serve as just another arbitrary reason to hate yourself.

Nearly all of the top five New Year’s resolutions have something to do with health, and more specifically, our lack thereof. According to the Googles, the number one resolution is to diet or eat healthier. After spending the last three months gorging on Halloween candy, Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas candy and God knows what else, it would be difficult not to eat healthier. No one can keep up this pace for long before your aching teeth start screaming at you.

Perhaps this resolution is number one because it’s a lot easier to eat healthy when there isn’t a 20 pound piece of meat sitting in front of you every day. This one is kind of a gimme, so why even bother having a resolution at all?

Next up is exercising more. Why are we making this resolution in the middle of the frigid winter when the likelihood of us going outdoors to exercise is near zero? And if you think purchasing a gym membership will force you to stick with the routine when the weather is bad, I’ve got over $300 in gym membership receipts to a place I’ve been to once in the last three years to show you otherwise. Unless we mean that we are going to exercise our mouths more by talking about exercise instead of actually exercising, we ought to stop dusting off this ol’ chestnut each year.

If you aren’t resolving to eat healthier or exercise more, then you must be making a promise to yourself to lose weight. This is the resolution people make when the top two resolutions haven’t worked in previous attempts, and they are damn near ready to give up on this whole cockamamie New Year’s resolution bullshit.

Making a resolution to lose weight without also having an idea of how you plan to do that without exercise or diet is a sure way to fail. That’s alright, though; it’s OK to give up on resolutions that don’t work or help you feel better about yourself.

Next year, when you give up resolutions entirely, you’ll realize that you’ve been putting yourself through hell for nothing.

When we aren’t worried about our bodies and how freakishly fat and weak they all are, we are focused on our wallets and how much money we have in them. Each year, millions of people make resolutions to save more and spend less. The idea of this resolution, in and of itself, is not bad, but the problem is most of us don’t get to choose to save more and spend less. The costs of goods rapidly outpaced the rise in pay years ago and much of the country faces a crisis with affordable housing. When all of your money goes to rent and gas to get to work, you can’t really save more or spend less. You are better off saving more time by spending less of it worried about how you are going to cut your bills or save for a house you will never be able to afford to keep. Just keep living check to check like the rest of us. This one is a bummer and making it your resolution is only going to bum you out.

The fifth most popular New Year’s resolution is one I actually like, but like the others is difficult to follow through on. Every year, a lot of us resolve to make our lives more interesting and rewarding by learning a new skill or hobby. The problem comes when we choose a hobby or skill that is incompatible with our existing lifestyles.

Trying to make your new love of car racing work with that DUI on your record is going to be a tough nut to crack. If you dislike a lot of foods or have serious allergies, maybe don’t decide you want to learn how to cook. Stick with something you already know you will like or that you have some amount of skill or interest in already and maybe it will work out. If not, you can always put yourself through the torture of trying again next year, but you really don’t have to …

ACCORDING TO BAZOOKA

CELEBRATING THEIR LATEST ALBUM

THE DEVIL’S IN THE DETAILS

AccordingToBazooka.com

Fox & Goose

Friday January 10

1001 R Street, Sacramento

Plus Guests $5 / 9 p.m.

The O’Mally Sisters 21+

Saturday January 18

Father Paddy’s Irish Pub 435 Main Street, Woodland

free / 8 p.m.

Family’s okay

Friday January 24

Armadillo Music

free / 8-9 p.m. all ages

A2B SHOWCASE 207 F Street, Davis

Sunday February 9

Blue Note Brewing Co.

Monday February 10

Luna’s Café

750 Dead Cat Alley, Woodland

NEBRASKA MONDAYS 1414 16th Street, Sacramento

free / 3 p.m.

21+ or with adult

Plus Guest Tony Galioto

DUSTBOWL REVIVAL

HARLOW’S • 2708 J STREET • SACRAMENTO •

25

TH

21 & OVER • 8:00PM

ANNIVERSARY NORTH AMERICAN TOUR 2020 (FROM JAPAN)

CHURCH OF MISERY DETROIT COBRAS

HARLOW’S • 2708 J STREET • SACRAMENTO •

HARLOW’S • 2708 J STREET • SACRAMENTO •

$10 / 7:45 p.m. all ages

THURSDAY

FEB 27 WEDNESDAY

MAR 4

21 & OVER • 7:30PM

21 & OVER • 8:00PM

DEKE DICKERSON & THE ECCO-FONICS TWILIGHT DRIFTERS • DJ POPULUXE

SUNDAY

MAR 29 SUNDAY

MAR 29

THE STA R LE T R O OM • 2708 J STR EE T • SACR A MENTO • 21 & OV ER • 8:0 0 PM

OF MONTREAL

LOCATE S,1

HARLOW’S • 2708 J STREET • SACRAMENTO •

21 & OVER • 9:00PM

ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE & THE MELTING PARAISO U.F.O. MY EDUCATION

FRIDAY

APR 3

FRIDAY

APR 10

THE STA R LE T R O OM • 2708 J STR EE T • SACR A MENTO • 21 & OV ER • 9:0 0 PM

MUDHONEY TH’ LOSIN STREAKS

HARLOW’S • 2708 J STREET • SACRAMENTO •

TUESDAY

MAY 5 21 & OVER • 9:00PM

MELT BANANA (FROM JAPAN) TIMES OF DESPERATION

HARLOW’S • 2708 J STREET • SACRAMENTO •

MAY 30

21 & OVER • 8:00PM

SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS

HARLOW’S • 2708 J STREET • SACRAMENTO •

SATURDAY

21 & OVER • 8:00PM

TUESDAY

JUNE 9

ALL TICKETS AVAILABLE AT: ABSTRACTPRESENTS.COM & EVENTBRITE.COM

Now AcceptiNg AppoiNtmeNts!

Book oNliNe At sAcrAmeNtoBArBershop.com 2408 21st st • Sac • (916) 457-1120 Tues-Fri 9am-6pm • saT 10am-4pm

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

7

2020 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION: FIX BROKEN THINGS Bring Your Jewelry to Little Relics to Repair!

LITTLE &BOUTIQUE RELICS GALLERIA LITTLE RELICS Please support the

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This publication would not be possible without our wonderful advertisers.

Visit them and tell ‘em Submerge is the reason.

8

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Photo by Markus Moellenberg © 2016 Cirque du Soleil

Your Senses

WORDS CLAUDIA RIVAS

SEE

Cirque du Soleil Bring Dazzling Show Amaluna to Sacramento! • Jan. 22–Feb. 23

TASTE

Cirque du Soleil is famous for telling beautiful and colorful stories around the world with jaw-dropping acrobatics. From Jan. 22–Feb. 23, the innovative performing arts company will bring their new tale, Amaluna, to Sacramento’s Sutter Health Park. In this story, a fantasy island is dominated by magical goddesses. Queen Prospera, the ruler, is directing her daughter’s coming-of-age ceremony. While the honorable initiation commences (paying homage to rebirth, equilibrium and the power of femininity), the Queen conjures up a blistering storm and among the wreckage lives a group of young men who wash up on the island. In the aftermath, the story involves a heavy romance between a courageous young suitor and Queen Prospera’s daughter. Their star-crossed love will be tested with obstacles and challenges, but their infatuation knows no bounds. Drama, comedy and romance abound in this tale, while performers fly out over the crowd. Amaluna is a two-hour and 10-minute joyride into a mystical setting, and is suitable for the whole family. Regular tickets range from $49–$64, while VIP and Premium backstage packages are offered on the official Amaluna website. Stay tuned, however; if the holidays have you strapped for cash, be sure to follow us (@SubmergeMag) on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, as we will be posting about a ticket giveaway to Amaluna in the coming weeks! For more information on the show, visit Cirquedusoleil.com/amaluna.

Local Company The Novel Tea to Host “New Year New Tea Experience” at Sierra 2 Center • Jan. 19 In 2020, everyone deserves to find their perfect cup of tea. Ellen and Cid are the longtime friends behind Novel Tea. Along with their family, they are on a mission to bring delicious, top-quality tea to the world. On Sunday, Jan. 19, from 1–3 p.m. in the Garden Room of the Sierra 2 Center (2791 24th St.), join Novel Tea for an absolutely sweet and darling combination tea tasting class and high tea event. Come solo or register with fellow tea tasters for an afternoon of learning, drinking and eating the most delicious morsels! The afternoon will start with a traditional tea tasting, where a certified tea sommelier will present six charming and exquisite teas, providing a thorough and insightful tea-steeping demonstration. After that, guests will be served a classic three-tier afternoon tea, with a menu of luscious appetizing treats. For those who have never used loose leaf tea, this will be an impeccable opportunity to learn, while experienced tea drinkers will sip on fresh liquids while revelling in high tea. The tea menus are fixed but include two vegetarian sandwich options. Please note allergies on registration. Fees are $40 for adults and $15 for children (12 and under). Advanced registration is required and class space is limited. Sign up online or in-person at the Sierra 2 Center office.

The goal of Novel Tea is to ensure every guest feels welcome and appreciated, so come and enjoy yourself in the new year! For more information, visit Facebook.com/thenoveltea.

HEAR

Get Psyched for the Launch of the New Concert Series “The Würst Rock ‘n’ Roll Matinee” • Jan. 12

Blag Dahlia

Jello Biafra

Joel Gion

Sunday blues are usually a result of your weekend coming to a close. Lowbrau (1050 20th St.), the popular Midtown spot that presents MoTown on Mondays, is at it again with a new concert series called The Würst Rock ‘n’ Roll Matinee. It launches Sunday, Jan. 12 for those in need of something more hardcore to combat their Sunday blues. From punk to garage and every type of rock in-between, this series will have you rollin’ to work Monday morning wearing a Black Flag shirt and a lip ring. Blag Dahlia, lead singer of punk band Dwarves, brings the ruckus with a can’t-miss acoustic set! Dahlia (real name Paul Cafaro) is considered a punk legend most known for intentionally shocking lyrics. Dahlia has written/ produced nearly a dozen studio records over a span of 30 years. This kickoff show at Lowbrau will also feature the Debauchery Art Show. On Jan. 19, prepare for Jello Biafra’s Incredibly Strange Dance Party! The former lead singer of Dead Kennedys will be punking up your insides with an eclectic mix of his favorite music. On this particular day, the event includes a record fair for avid crate diggers. Joel Gion, the tambourinist of Brian Jonestown Massacre, comes in on Jan. 26, adding a psychedelic twist to the concert series, while Feb. 9, is reserved for Glitter Wizard, who Julian Cope, of English post-punk band the Teardrop Explodes, once labeled as “unashamedly glamorous hard rock.” Make the trek for the rock of ages and remember that The Würst is on Sundays from 5–10 p.m. There’s no excuse for not coming out, it’s free admission! If Sundays can’t be the best, make them the WÜRST! For more information head to Instagram.com/wurstrocknroll.

TOUCH

Join Expert Instructors from REI to Learn How to Cross Country Ski • Various Sundays Through March 29 For those with a hankering for endurance and speed, sign up for this intro to cross country ski class. Visit the Auburn Ski Club (19749 Boreal Ridge Road, Soda Springs) and learn the finesse of cross country skiing.

The lessons will be on various Sundays starting Jan. 4, and ending in March. REI instructors will take excited learners out and show them the basics of starting, stopping, turning and gliding across the snow on classic cross-country skis. After the skill-building session, students will journey out on the trail to practice their newfound skills. If you’re concerned with finding the right gear, no worries! Instructors will cover basics of choosing and properly fitting equipment (boots, skis and poles). Please arrive 10–15 minutes prior to the start time for parking and paperwork considerations. Normal class times are 9 a.m–noon. For REI members, the price is $100 while the non-member price is $120. REI will provide cross country skis, boots and poles.

The transportation will be from the REI store to and from the Auburn Ski Club. Whether you’re a future Olympian or just want to learn a fun new exercise, this will be a high intensity sport ripe with adventure. For more information, visit REI.com and search classes and events.

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

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PASSIONATELY CONFUSED

SCHUYLER PETERSEN’S ONE-MAN BAND, MAKEBELIEF, DELIVERS BIG FEELINGS WORDS NIKI KANGAS • PHOTO EVA ROETHLER

A

little drummer boy is now an epic one-man show. Each day, Schuyler Petersen wakes up at four in the morning to go to work at Trader Joe’s in Sacramento, but once he clocks out, his passion is catharsis in music. After four years of loving labor, Petersen’s Confusion Fruit is ready for harvest.

On the surface, it’s a mellow, yet swelling, inspiring electronic album about the dissolution and rebuilding of a relationship. Confusion Fruit is about Petersen’s time in California since he moved here from the Midwest—and following a failed relationship, he’s since married a fellow artist. On a deeper level, it’s about introspection of one’s own flaws and confronting the parts of oneself that are difficult to face.

In the nine songs that comprise Confusion Fruit, Petersen deals with mental health issues and endeavors to rise from a state of crisis. He examines his faults and finds ways to recover the wounds he has caused himself. And he rewires cognitive pathways to the structures that don’t really serve him anymore. It’s a very personal album that deals with a lot of dark and negative things, but it’s really about healing, and he hopes that listeners will identify, feel and grow along with him while enjoying its powerful sound.

Lyrically, it’s abstract at times.

The explicit narrative isn’t clear, but sonically, you find yourself tapping into deeper emotions and experiencing a sense of being overwhelmed, and that’s exactly what Petersen is trying to communicate. A friend of Petersen’s told him that his music sounded passionately confused, which made him think of passionfruit, which then turned into confusion fruit.

10

“The songs are the fruit that bloom out of confusion,” explained Petersen.

Confusion Fruit comes out on Friday, Jan. 17 on a new label in Sacramento called Outer Grid. Selfrecorded, he elicited the help of Lillian Frances and So Much Light in recording the vocals, who are also performing at his release show at the Red Museum on Saturday, Jan. 18. His wife, Eva Roethler, is taking charge of art direction and has surprise stuff planned that Petersen didn’t want to spoil, but did disclose that it’s concept-based to go along with the confusion fruit idea.

Tirelessly consuming music led to becoming a creator for Petersen.

As a child, he became obsessed with Blink-182 and other emo and pop bands before yielding to indie rock, hip-hop and, finally, electronic music, which is the genre he ultimately landed on to create his own unique soundscapes. He wanted to be like the rock stars in music videos, and his supportive parents enrolled him in drum lessons and bought him a kit at age 10.

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

COMING TO GRASS VALLEY Imagining that he was the next Travis Barker, he participated in the jazz band, symphony band, drum lines and any extracurricular musical activity possible. When he formed his first serious band in high school, Harvey (which he describes as basically a Modest Mouse ripoff), his parents were happy to drive him to all of his gigs. Later, he taught himself to play bass and guitar, and took piano classes in college while studying at the now defunct McNally Smith College of Music in St. Paul, Minnesota. But with electronic music, “Everything is on the computer now, so it’s a lot of pushing buttons, turning nobs and clicking the mouse,” says Petersen.

He met his wife in Oakland, although they’d grown up about five minutes away from each other in Iowa. He’d moved from Minneapolis with an ex to Oakland and lived there for about a year before coming to Sacramento for affordability and the band he was in at the time, about three years ago. As one can imagine, moving away from Midwest winters was attractive. He and Roethler love Sacramento’s Midwestern vibes, describing a slower pace, room to move around and nice, friendly people juxtaposed with an accepting and inviting art and music scene and all that California has to offer.

Petersen began working on the record in Oakland, but being in a band had caused him to put his own music on the back burner.

When he realized he’d never finish his album unless he quit the band, he did so and played his first show as Makebelief in winter 2017. The name was inspired by one of his favorite groups, Slow Magic—he wanted a name that formed a complete picture of the music. With Makebelief, the name really does give you a sense of the sound, evoking childlike imagination.

Part of the daydream feel of the music is the ever-present Auto-Tuned vocals, which Petersen manages to achieve in a non-annoying way.

“I don’t think I have a classically handsome voice, so Auto-Tune has been revelatory for me,” says Petersen. “I spend all this time making meticulous sonic landscapes, and I was having a hard time fitting my natural voice into the digital sound. Auto-Tune helped me find my place, vocally, inside the music.

And I can use the faults in my voice through Auto-Tune to create interesting sounds.”

He also processes all of his vocals and the entire audio chain when you see him live. Loading his instrumentals in Ableton Live—which is the program he uses to make all his music—his live set is part DJing and part live drumming and singing. He’s planning a West Coast tour this spring and looks forward to playing more shows locally as well as collaborating with other Sacramento artists.

“This project has consumed my life for a long time now and I’m excited for it to be finished,” admits Petersen. “I’ll have time to hopefully add some new elements to my life without feeling like I’m neglecting my work.”

At his album release show, celebrate closure with him on so many levels.

Makebelief's Confusion Fruit will be released digitally on Jan. 17. You can celebrate its release at The Red Museum (212 15th St., Sacramento) on Saturday, Jan. 18 at 8 p.m. Also performing will be So Much Light. There will also be standup comedy from Maryam Moosavi, Adam Strawbridge and Melissa McGillicuddy; a fruit-themed art gallery with pieces provided by local artists; and much more. Cover charge is $10. For a full list of festivities and other information, go to Facebook.com/makebeliefmusic.

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SubmergeMag.com

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

11

THEY SHOOT, THEY SCORE!

PUNCH BOWL SOCIAL’S DOWNTOWN COMMONS LOCATION OFFERS TOPNOTCH EATERTAINMENT WORDS LOVELLE HARRIS

PHOTOS DILLON FLOWERS (INTERIOR)|MELISSA WELLIVER (FOOD)

T

he latest trendsetters in the restaurant industry— the bartender-turnedrestaurateur—have really shaken things up when it comes to curating next-level guest experiences. Not only do they have a knack for devising innovative ways to lure thirsty, new guests into their lair, but also a keen eye for creating the perfect mashup. It must be their ability to create those tasty cocktails that keeps their patrons coming back for more.

One mashup that seems to have seen its evolution from the kiddie table to the private dining room is what many in the culinary world have dubbed the “eatertainment” spot. You know, those high-energy, multifaceted eateries that satisfy both the foodie and the gamer alike that first landed on the scene with the arrival of Dave and Busters.

Playing neighbor to the Golden 1 Center in the Downtown Commons, Punch Bowl Social is Robert Thompson’s fresh take on the trend. Thompson, who cut his teeth in the hospitality industry behind the bar and as a server in the early 1990s, brings to Sacramento a giddy romp into all things fun and lively, but with a decidedly refined-yetplayful take on bar bites and the cocktail scene.

On a recent trip to the 25,000-square-foot pleasure palace, the Submerge team went deep into the paint to partake in the energetic scene, which is replete with every accoutrement imaginable to satisfy the kid in all of us. From eight bowling lanes, old-school, vintage arcade games, karaoke and foosball to virtual reality experiences, giant Scrabble and Jenga, PBS boasts an engaging and electric atmosphere that meshes well with its even bigger offering: food and drink.

The menu is an experience all on its own. Catering to a variety of tastes and preferences—vegetarians and those avoiding gluten can rejoice—the menu is a behemoth that includes their standard menu, weekend brunch, happy hour, cocktails and mocktails,

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Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

a kid’s version and late-night eats. While the Submerge crew sifted through the many offerings—which were accessible, yet elevated in concept and ingredients— we couldn’t help but begin our adventure with one of PBS’s hallmark beverages: The punch bowl.

Diving into the “featured punch,” we were delighted by the seasonal touches on the boozy, yet surprisingly palatable elixir aptly named, “Naughty or Spice.” Boasting Old Forester bourbon, Monin Orgeat, spiced orange syrup, St. Elizabeth Allspice Dram and fresh lemon juice, we festively cheered the holiday season with glee as we lapped up the spicy concoction.

With our bellies full of liquid bliss, we moved on to the menu.

With intriguing starters and main dishes with names like “A Pig, a Duck, and Some Cheese Walk Into a Bar” and “The Knockoff Burger,” we knew we were in for some serious fun.

We dove into our starter with gusto. The La Quercia prosciutto, confit duck leg, crunchy pork rind chicharrones paired beautifully with the sharp Point Reyes’ blue and creamy, tangy marinated feta. The briny accompaniment of Castelvetrano olives rounded out the dish nicely, but the standout was their homemade strawberry jam which boasted peppery notes that were enlivened with a hint of vinegar. If you’re into charcuterie, A Pig, a Duck, and Some Cheese Walk Into a Bar is the dish for you.

Up next, we made our way to the main event with a selection for the carnivore, the plant-based devotee and the pescatarian.

While the Knockoff Burger was a classic take on the burger, complete with American cheese, pickled onions, shredded lettuce and a sesame seed bun, PBS’s offering was elevated by the sumptuous addition of two beef patties grilled to medium perfection and their homemade dill pickles. Rounding out the dish, the rosemary fries added an herbaceous kick to the plate.

For those who have embraced the plant-based ethos

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to eating, the superfood grain bowl was another knockout.

Unlike some grain bowls that can get soggy and leave much to be desired in the tasty category, PBS takes this trend and gives it a kick with the addition of crispy farro that matches perfectly with fluffy quinoa, verdant kale, a flurry of radishes and sprouts. Pickled chilies round out the dish with a bit of heat while earthy shiitake mushrooms provide balance.

It also doesn’t hurt that it’s adorned with a perfectly poached egg and a lively miso ginger vinaigrette.

Also appearing on this extensive and eclectic menu are a proper selection of tacos—barbacoa, shrimp,

roasted chicken and cocoa dusted carnitas. We opted for the shrimp version, and they didn’t disappoint. Coming to the plate as a trio of the street-taco variety, the perfectly poached shrimp were perched atop a fresh, soft flour tortilla and adorned with cabbage-Fresno slaw, salsa adobo, Cotija cheese and cilantro.

Spanning 19 locations—with Miami, Florida and Phoenix, Arizona yet to come in 2020— Punch Bowl Social has exploded onto the restaurant scene.

Having landed in the DOCO—one of the most promising new developments in Sacramento and with patrons looking for innovative ways to paint the town—the eatertainment

industry could just be the next big thing to satisfy the region’s fickle diners. With honors like Fast Company’s Top 50 Most Innovative Companies in the World 2019 and Fast Company’s No. 1 Most Innovative Company in the Gaming Sector 2019, Punch Bowl Social could score big in the local dining scene.

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Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

SMALL TOWNld MURDER SOout 15

HOLMES AT LAST RICHAUN HOLMES’ JOURNEY TO A BREAKOUT SEASON IN SACRAMENTO WORDS MICHAEL CELLA • PHOTOS TYREL TESCH

I T W A S O C T O B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 9 . The Kings were at home facing the Charlotte Hornets. After a feisty 2018–2019 season that saw the Kings as surprise contenders for a playoff spot, the team had stumbled out of the gates to a 2-6 record opening this year. Many blamed the team’s preseason trip to India for the sluggish start, but coming in with the second-longest playoff drought in NBA history at 13 seasons, patience was at a premium.

They needed a jolt. Enter Richaun Holmes.

Holmes had been playing well in a reserve role on the young season, his trademark infectious energy, tenacious rebounding and ferocious finishing quickly winning over the Sacramento faithful, but new coach Luke Walton still had to be convinced. It was nothing new to him.

Holmes was a surprise announcement during starting lineup introductions that night. He provided an immediate spark, scoring 17 points on an efficient eight of 10 shooting, along with 9 rebounds, 3 blocks and 2 steals. The Kings would lose again, but Holmes had solidified his spot in the starting lineup. The Kings would go on to win eight of their next 10 games.

I T W A S 8 A . M . O N A S A T U R D A Y in Lockport, Illinois, the southside Chicago neighborhood where Dr. Richard and Dr. Lydecia Holmes were raising their four sons Ray, Richard Jr., DeAndre and Richaun. That meant Dr. Richard was waking up everyone to go bowling, as he did every Saturday morning.

Dr. Richard had begun bowling when he was 9 years old, and was captain of his bowling team in high school. He decided bowling would be a good way to keep his boys active and out of trouble.

“Bowling was real. It was a serious game when it came down to bowling in that household,” says Richard, Jr., who at 35 is Richaun’s older brother by nine years. “Couldn’t nobody compete with us when we played with each other. We all wanted to beat our dad, because he could have been a professional bowler. I could have been one. Richaun could have been one.” Richard, Jr. pauses and laughs. “We’re thankful that he stuck to basketball though.”

As the youngest, Richaun lost often. But it didn’t stop him from competing.

“The first time he ever beat my dad, he came yelling in all of our faces and he never let us live it down,” says Richard, Jr. “I probably beat him thousands of times,” says Dr. Richard. “But the time he beat me, he let me know.”

It was a fitting end for Richaun’s bowling career. One Saturday, Dr. Richard remembers, Richaun woke up with a new goal.

“I don’t wanna bowl anymore,” announced Richaun. “I wanna play basketball.”

B O W L I N G A N D B A S K E T B A L L were passions in the Holmes household, but school always came before sports.

Drs. Richard and Lydecia Holmes run Morning View Word Church in Chicago, where Dr. Richard works as senior pastor and Lydecia serves as “first lady.” Both have earned Ph.Ds in divinity.

“I always just wanted to play ball,” recalls Richaun. “My dad always had me studying. When I came home from school, I had to read for two or three hours before I could go outside.”

The three hour rule was non-negotiable for Dr. Richard, nor was Richaun’s performance in school.

“He was a mean dad,” jokes Dr. Lydecia. “He told Richaun he had to do well in school. Richaun was acting up, clowning around in school one year. He [Dr. Richard] said, ‘If you don’t do well in school, you’re not gonna get anything for Christmas.’

Richaun didn’t believe him. Christmas came around, Richaun came downstairs looking for his presents, and there was nothing.

Ohh, that hurt me so bad!

16

“Of course, the next day he [Dr. Richard] went out and bought him some presents,” continues Lydecia. “But he did not get anything that day. He cried and went upstairs to his room.”

R I C H A U N H O L M E S D I D N O T T A K E a traditional path to the NBA. Whereas many players at that level took scholarships to schools with powerhouse programs, Holmes received none before committing to Moraine Valley Community, a junior college near his hometown. The experience would help morph his mentality.

“It was a different game,” says Richaun. “You have to be a dog down there. It put a chip on my shoulder. Every night they were gunning for you, but it changed my mindset as far as how I played, and the shape I was in to deal with some of the contact.”

The league itself stood in stark contrast to more prestigious college programs.

“A lot of guys there don’t even really care about basketball, they’re just looking for something to do to stay off the street,” explains Richaun. “It gets rough. If you play well or make a little name for yourself, they’re coming after you.”

Holmes transferred to Bowling Green University for his sophomore season, a Division I school in the Mid-American Conference. There, he improved his numbers every year, while adding a 3-point shot to his arsenal, shooting 42 percent from behind the arc in his senior year and leading his team to a tournament berth before graduating.

T O U G H L O V E wasn’t solely his dad’s game; Richaun’s brothers were good at it, too.

“A lot of his grit and grind comes from the things we instilled in him,” says Richard, Jr. “Games with no rules just to make him tough. Going out into the backyard throwing the ball at him as hard as we could, telling him, ‘Don’t drop this pass!’”

The Holmes brothers’ favorite game was a creation they conceived of on their own. They called it Hackball, and it took place in a basement which doubled as a so-called “battlefield for basketball.” There was only one rule: Whoever could dribble the ball from one side of the basement to the other won.

“You could tackle, you could get hit, you could get pulled,” recalls Richard, Jr. “No matter how much bigger we were than Richaun, he got there. Whenever he got his mind on a goal, he could do it.”

Dr. Richard and Dr. Lydecia only recently learned about Hackball, the only evidence having been a broken pool table in the basement. But Lydecia remembers the game of “throw the ball at Richaun” well.

“His brothers took him in the backyard and said, ‘Catch the ball,’ and he looked like he didn’t see it until it was right up on him,” she says. “I took him to the eye doctor—turns out he needed glasses. Richaun just said, ‘Oh my God, I can see!’ That night he played so well!”

In addition to the new eyewear, a rapid growth spurt transformed Richaun’s outlook on his game. In one summer, he grew from 6-foot-2 to 6-foot-6, and eventually finished high school standing at a towering 6-foot-9. Suddenly, the footwork and ball handling ability he’d developed as a guard came attached to a forward’s frame.

“He played against [now NBA player] Frank Kaminsky one game, and Frank was already 7 feet tall then,” recalls Dr. Lydecia. “And Richaun blocked about five of his shots. And then he ran down the court and dunked one. I said, ‘This boy’s got a chance.’”

CONTINUED ON PAGE 19 >>

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

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Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

I T W A S J U N E 2 5 , 2 0 1 5 , and Richaun and his family were in a hotel room, watching the NBA Draft on TV. After hours of waiting anxiously, they celebrated the news. Richaun was selected in the second round by the Philadelphia 76ers as the 37th overall pick. It was just two weeks after the birth of Richaun’s first son.

The Sixers were in the midst of a rebuilding project famously known as “The Process,” engineered by general manager Sam Hinkie. They lost a lot of games Richaun’s rookie year.

“It was a unique experience,” says Richaun. “Coming into the NBA, I don’t know if I would have had the opportunity to play right away if I didn’t go to the Sixers. Sam gave a lot of guys a chance just to show what they were made of.”

While The Process offered him a chance, it also placed him at the bottom rung of a positional battle. The Sixers had drafted centers in their last three drafts in Nerlens Noel, Jahlil Okafor and franchise cornerstone Joel Embiid. Richaun would have to work to get any playing time. By his second season, Holmes had already been sent down to the NBA Development League several times, before injuries to Noel and Embiid gave Richaun the window he needed to crack the Sixers’ rotation. But whether he was playing or not playing, he impressed.

“He just sat there and accepted whatever we gave him: Go to the D-League, sit there and clap, start, play behind Joel— whatever it was, he accepted,” Sixers coach Brett Brown told NBC Sports. “And he did it where it didn’t diminish his work ethic. It didn’t diminish his ability to coexist within a team. He found ways to improve individually, and he did it with a great level of maturity.”

Holmes had long been a fan favorite in Philly. But Hinkie’s resignation had the Sixers under new management during Richaun’s third season. Sean Rooks, the late Sixers’ player development coach, had also recently passed away the season prior.

“Coach Rooks was one of Richaun’s mentors,” explains Dr. Lydecia. “When Sam Hinkie left and coach Rooks passed, it became tough for Richaun.”

Embiid’s return from injury and Richaun’s own fractured wrist diminished his playing time once again.

“Just compete,” says Richaun of his mindset during that period. “I feel like I should be on the floor, but I just control what I can control. How hard I’m working, how much film I watch, offensive schemes, defensive schemes, there’s always things within my control I can do to make myself better. How many shots I’m getting up. That’s always my mentality.” “ I W O U L D D R I V E T H E M T O S C H O O L E V E R Y D AY,” remembers Dr. Richard. “And every day we would pray in the car on the way to school. And Richaun used to pray the same thing every day: ‘Thank you, God, for the day. And I pray that you would make me an NBA basketball star.”

Shortly after the 2017–2018 season, Richaun Holmes was traded to the Phoenix Suns for cash considerations. It stung.

Being traded for cash is thought of by many players as an ignominious label. It wasn’t one Richaun planned to wear forever.

“For me as a competitor, you just want to go out there and show you’re worth more,” he says. “I just used it as motivation in my workouts. Just get better. Show that I’m better. Show that I’m improved, my defensive instincts, whatever things they said I didn’t do in Philly.”

Richaun spent the 2018–2019 season in Phoenix, once again playing for a struggling team and a rookie coach and fighting for playing time. This time he was staring up the depth chart at No. 1 overall pick DeAndre Ayton and veteran Tyson Chandler.

Again, Richaun responded by putting up improved numbers, especially on the defensive end. And again, he became a fan favorite, receiving a warm ovation in his return to Phoenix in a road game earlier the following season.

On draft night 2019, the Suns traded for veteran center Aron Baynes, leaving Richaun looking elsewhere for a bigger role. The Kings ended up signing him to a two-year, $10 million dollar contract, which now looks like one of the savviest deals of the offseason.

SubmergeMag.com

Richard Jr., Richaun, Dr. Richard and Dr. Lydecia Holmes Richaun again entered the season third on the depth chart behind sophomore center Marvin Bagley, last year’s second overall pick and fellow free agent signing Dewayne Dedmon.

But Bagley’s opening night wrist fracture and Dedmon’s early struggles cleared the path for what is now undeniably a breakout season.

T H I R T Y G A M E S I N T O T H E S E A S O N , Richaun is putting up career highs in minutes, points, rebounds and blocks, and he ranks second in the league in field goal percentage. On a nightly basis, he has frequently been the Kings’ best player. But what he contributes can’t always be measured in the box score.

“Toughness, grab rebounds, defend, finish at the rim, screen setting, physical on the inside, fight for offensive rebounds and energy that I bring to the team,” says Richaun. “I think that’s important to us and it’s something that I take pride in. Just being undeniable.”

Sacramento has welcomed Richaun and his family, in particular Dr. Lydecia and her hilarious, upbeat Twitter feed.

This, too, is nothing new to Richaun.

“They’ve been bringing that same type of energy since I started playing basketball in my AAU days,” he says. “It’s great to see this city embrace that.”

For her part, Dr. Lydecia is just trying to bring balance to what can be a tense, stressful NBA environment.

“There’s a lot of negativity when the team doesn’t do well,” observes Dr. Lydecia. “I’m just expressing my joy.”

Dr. Richard and Dr. Lydecia come to games as often as they can leave Chicago, while Richard, Jr. serves as Richaun’s business manager and DeAndre directs his social media. With an eye on giving back to the Sacramento community, they collaborated with Buckhorn Grill to create the “Stay 22ned” burger, with proceeds going to Richaun’s charity of choice.

With the team finally healthy and the Kings back in the chase for a playoff spot, the positivity seems to be paying off.

And the more time the Holmes family spends in Sacramento, the more it feels like home. But for the family that saw Richaun fight through everything from Hackball to JUCO to The Process, his breakout is a surprise to everyone but them.

“We just wanted him to be in a place where he’s valued,” says Dr. Lydecia. “Richaun is exactly where he’s supposed to be.”

See Richaun Holmes in action at the Golden 1 Center when the Kings face in-state rivals, the Golden State Warriors, on Monday, Jan. 6; Giannis Antetokounmpo and the Milwaukee Bucks on Friday, Jan. 10; the Orlando Magic on Monday, Jan. 13; and the Dallas Mavericks on Wednesday, Jan. 15. For more info, go to NBA.com/kings.

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Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

19

ABUSE YOUR ILLUSIONS

THE MAGICAL WORLD OF MICHAEL CARBONARO

A

WORDS JUSTIN COX

sk Michael Carbonaro if he’s a magician, a comedian or an actor and he’ll cop to the fact that he’s not really sure.

But he also doesn’t care, so long as he’s entertaining people—a calling he’s heard since he was a child.

On his TruTV show, The Carbonaro Effect, he employs the covert trickery of Candid Camera, the social manipulation of a Sacha Baron Cohen character and the sleight of hand of a Vegas magician. It’s a show built on illusions delivered as pranks on unsuspecting retail shoppers.

We, the audience, are aware that a magic trick is happening, although we’re never told how. The “guest,” who encounters Carbonaro organically, usually behind a counter, has no reason to suspect anything is out of the ordinary.

Let’s take the example of a woman who walked into a health food store on an episode in which Carbonaro was offering samples of “fresh almond milk.” He picks up an almond, lets the customer inspect it, then pinches it between his fingertips until he has it positioned over a small sample cup. After a few initial drops, he gently squeezes out a steady stream of milk, leaving the customer gobsmacked. She knows on some level that what she’s seeing can’t be possible, but then again, it’s happening before her eyes, and she vocalizes her disbelief in the moment.

No way that’s how almond milk is made. “I felt the same way,” Carbonaro assures her. “But they were like, ‘No … almond milk.

Like, milking an almond.’ Duh.” It’s a laughable assurance, but the guest isn’t afforded the knowledge we have on our end of the screen. The health food store is real, and she’s standing two feet away from a cashier who just squeezed milk out of a tiny almond and referred to the pointy end of the nut as its “nip.” He tells her it’s not bitter like the store-bought kind, and offers her a sip, which she takes, further ratcheting up her disbelief.

As a longtime cord-cutter whose viewing habits are mostly formed by social media and whatever the algorithm feeds me, I’m not sure I’d have ever found the show if not for a stay at my parents’ house a few years back. My dad, as he’s known to do, scrolled through his DVR to share some of the stuff he’d saved over the months—everything from live Cat Stevens concerts to cartoons for my kids. Somewhere in the stack was The Carbonaro Effect, which was entirely off my radar at the time.

I have an unfortunate fear of commitment that kicks in hard when I suspect I might be entering into something unenjoyable, and to be quite honest it was bubbling up when he pressed play. But what I got was the fresh-faced Carbonaro, who is 43 but looks a solid 10 years younger, behind the counter of a dog kennel where he, in real time on camera, placed customers’ pets into a machine that flattened them into disks so they could be efficiently stored—eliciting a combination of confusion and horror from the patrons. It killed me in the best way, and I watched it for hours that night.

Comedy is a powerful vehicle for social and political commentary, especially in moments like the one we currently occupy. But it doesn’t always have to be that. Not only is The Carbonaro Effect a beautiful reprieve from the daily noise, but it cuts through our dividing lines by trying to do nothing more than trick people in a way that’s good-hearted and funny.

In the following abridged version of our phone interview, we talk with Carbonaro about that, his childhood, his sexuality and more. The Carbonaro Effect airs regularly on TruTV. He performs at Thunder Valley Casino on Jan. 17.

20

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

How does the live show differ from the TV show?

Die-hard fans of the TV show secretly wonder if it’s real—if I can really do these magic tricks or if it’s just television magic, like camera editing and actors. Then all of a sudden, boom, a fish bowl disappears out of nowhere just like they’ve seen on the TV show, but it’s right there in front of their faces. You can feel this electric charge in the crowd.

Like the TV show, it’s got that improvisational one-on-one kind of feeling, but we never really know how it’s going to go. There are times in the show when the audience can see that the person on stage is being pranked even though the person on stage doesn’t know it.

Would you describe yourself more as a magician or as a comedian?

I always dart back and forth. My love of illusion started in the world of theatrics through special makeup effects. The first thing I wanted to be was a special effects artist for movies, but then I found a love for performing. I talk about this at the [live] show, too. I label myself now as an entertainer. That’s just kind of the best all-around version of it.

What was a young Michael Carbonaro like?

Monsters, special effects, fake blood, putting goop all over my face and looking like a weirdo and pranking people. I was just born to love theater and illusions.

Special effects are an illusion, makeup is an illusion, being an actor is an illusion, magic tricks themselves are illusions. There’s just something about the human’s ability to create something that isn’t real. You’re bringing life to something—the proverbial animating of the marionette. Something about that just charges me to the soul.

You have a knack for building pranks around commonly known but potentially misunderstood phrases like “grass-fed beef” or “fresh almond milk.” How do those expand into pranks on the show?

I wasn’t the greatest student, and I sort of half listened to stuff. I would have to fill in the rest and BS my way through tests and stuff. I just tie it all together and come up with some reality. What if I just take the term literally and feed grass to the beef?

Gluten was another one I played with. There was so much talk about gluten and how everything has to be gluten-free. I thought, why don’t I make something that extracts gluten? Nobody knows what the hell gluten is, so I mixed tapioca balls in slime to make it appear like this machine was extracting it from croissants and rolls. People believed it because they were like, “I’ve heard about gluten!” It was this German machine and we called it the GlütenVac. We’re just toying with facts.

SubmergeMag.com

“My love of illusion started in the world of theatrics through special makeup effects. The first thing I wanted to be was a special effects artist for movies, but then I found a love for performing.”

– Michael Carbonaro

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In our divided political moment, do you think there’s a hunger for the pure, escapist humor your show offers?

I hope so. On one hand, we all have freedom of speech and we should speak our mind, but on the other hand, the country is divided. Maybe this kind of thing does help us find a middle ground and a togetherness, absolutely. I hope that there’s something about that.

You’ve mentioned that the live show often brings full families, from kids to parents to grandparents. Why do you think that is?

When I grew up, I was doing birthday parties and communions and christenings and bar mitzvahs and company picnics.

I’ve always performed in front of crowds that included all ages, so I just developed a way to speak to that energy.

Even though these are pranks, it has a non-mean-spirited vibe. I can be sarcastic without being mean. There’s a fine line there and that’s just my soul coming through—I don’t know. I like people, and I like people to be having fun. I don’t ever like to make somebody feel awkward. I might scare them a little on the TV show, but you know, there’s a happy energy there.

See for yourself what the fuss is about Friday, Jan. 17 at Thunder Valley Casino (1200 Athens Ave., Lincoln) as Michael Carbonaro brings his vaunted illusion-comedymagic hybrid stage show to the masses! Visit Michaelcarbonaro.com for ticket information.

FACEBO

OK

S Eamento O O G X & , Sacr 5 COVER

F O01 R StreetM / 21 & OVER / $ 10

How much of your audience do you think is aware that you’re gay?

Every now and then I’ll get, “Holy crap, I had no idea he was gay!” Or I’ll get, “Oh my God, he’s gay? I’m never watching the show again!” It just fills the whole ridiculous spectrum of a divided world. I also have a lot of people who are super cool on Twitter who know. Coming out these days is sort of like whatever. I never really came out, per se. I think that’s kind of cool. I move toward a world where it just doesn’t matter.

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Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

21

1.09

904 15th Street 443.2797

Between I & J • Downtown Sacramento

TORCHCLUB.NET

THURSDAY

MUSIC, COMEDY & MISC. CALENDAR

JANUARY 2 - 19 MIND X 5:30PM

THUR

2

fri

3

LAUREN NAPIER, VIC RUGGIERO,

TRAVIS ALAN & CROSSBUCK 9PM

THE HUCKLEBUCKS 5:30PM

JAKE NIELSEN’S TRIPLE THREAT 9PM

CHRISTIAN DEWILD 5:30PM

sat

4

SUN

5

TUE

7

WED

8

THUR

9

fri

10

TEN FOOT TIGER, THE BAND HAYEZ 9PM BLUES JAM 4PM

FRONT THE BAND 8PM SCOTT MCCONAHA 5:30PM

DASH 8PM

THE O’MALLY SISTERS 5:30PM 8:30PM MIND X 5:30PM

ALMOST BLUE

SNAPS FOR SINNERS 9PM

MIDTOWN CREEPERS 5:30PM

TRACORUM, CLOUDSHIP 9PM

DRUNKEN KUNG FU 5:30PM

SAT

11

RJ MISCHO 9PM

SUN

BLUES JAM 4PM

12

TUES

14

WED

15

THUR

16

FRONT THE BAND 8PM WILLIAM MYLAR

HOLIDAY HIPPIE HOUR 5:30PM

SACTOWN PLAYBOYS 8PM BALLIN THAT JACK 5:30PM

JENNINGS 9PM MIND X 5:30PM

THE MINDFUL 9PM JIMMY PAILER & CO. 5:30PM

FRI

17 THE DELTAZ 9PM 22

JANUARY 1 – 15

SUBMERGEMAG.COM/CALENDAR

1.01 WEDNESDAY

The Atrium First Day 2020 New Years Day Party w/ DJ Kaushun, DJ Kittie Lynne, Darby, Vedda, Mike Bledsoe, Todd Hurley, Pumatron and More, 6 a.m. - 4 p.m.

The Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Open Mic Jam, 9 p.m.

Kupros Ross Hammond, 5 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Live Blues Jam Session, 8 p.m.

Torch Club The O’Mally Sisters, 3 p.m.

1.02 THURSDAY

Cafe Colonial Open Mic Hosted

by Marty Taters, 7 p.m.

The Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon DJ Hank & Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Irish Jam Session w/ Stepping Stone, 8 p.m.

Kupros Samuel Phelps, 7 p.m.

The Press Club Las Pulgas, Gamma People, Your Friends, 8 p.m.

Republic Bar & Grill Bass Therapy w/ Strvfe, Wolvero, Electric Nature & More, 9 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Mind X, 5:30 p.m.; Lauren Napier, Vic Ruggiero, Travis Alan & Crossbuck, 9 p.m.

1.03 FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Saved by the ‘90s, 7 p.m.

B Street at The Sofia The Billie Holiday Project feat. Stella Heath, 6 p.m.

Capitol Garage Capitol Friday’s Reggae Night w/ DJ Veyn, 10 p.m.

El Dorado Saloon Island of Black and White, 9 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Joe Friday Band, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose An Evening w/ Kevin Seconds, Bobby Jordan, Grub Mitchell, Alex Walker, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ CrookOne and Guests, 10 p.m.

Holy Diver Enuff Z’Nuff, Abeyance, Fallout Kings, Red Voodoo, 7 p.m.

Kupros Ross Hammond, 5 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge William Mylar’s Hippie Hour, 5:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Remedy 7, 7 p.m.; Divine Blend, Shotgun Slim, GreySeed, 8:30 p.m.

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

Opera House Saloon Dan Cribb & Gary Blodgett, 9:30 p.m.

PJ’s Roadhouse Instagon, Nam The Giver, 8 p.m.

Placerville Public House Dana D, 8 p.m.

The Pour Choice Brad Hoshaw, 6:30 p.m.

The Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Shine ROA Brothers Band, ATM Machine, Jereme Greene, 8 p.m.

Torch Club The Hucklebucks, 5:30 p.m.; Jake Nielsen’s Triple Threat, 9 p.m.

1.04 SATURDAY

Ace of Spades Winterfest: Dark Signal, A Foreign Affair, Nerv, The Color Wild, A Summer Alive, Centersight, For the Kids, Saint Juniper, 5 p.m.

B Street at The Sofia Mania!

(Beatles Tribute), 6 p.m.

The Delta King Jammin’ James & the Wing Women, 8 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon 8 Tack Massacre, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Cassidy Joy, 9 p.m.

Guild Theater That Girl Lay Lay, Lil Jackie, Tamia Marie, Jan. 4, 6 p.m.

Harlow’s Achilles Wheel, Acme Soundtracks, 5:30 p.m.; Blackalicious, Roots & Tings, 9:30 p.m.

Harris Center Los Lobos, 8 p.m.

Holy Diver HOODS, Sworn Vengeance, West Lords, Original State, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Jax Hammer, 3:30 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Ukulele Sing-Along, 11:30 a.m.; Free Ukulele Class, 1 p.m.

Old Ironsides Lipstick!, 9 p.m.

Opera House Saloon Remix, 9:30 p.m.

Placerville Public House Nite Katz, 8 p.m.

The Pour Choice Bethany Anne, 6:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Alex Vincent Band, 10 p.m.

The Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

SacYard Community Tap House Home B4 Dark, 6 p.m.

Shine Cloud Hats, Indigo Elephant, 8 p.m.

Stage 76 Shotgun Slim, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Christian DeWild, 5:30 p.m.; Ten Foot Tiger, The Band Hayez, 9 p.m.

1.05 SUNDAY

Classy Hippie Tea Co. Community Singing Circle, 2 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Jessica Malone, 3 p.m.

Harris Center Jim Witter’s Piano Men, 2 & 7 p.m.

Holy Diver Danny Worsnop, StarBenders, Justin Brodie, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Your Alibi, 3 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Factor IX w/ DJ Hawk, DJ CarnieRobber and Guests, 9 p.m.

Mondavi Center: Vanderhoef Studio Theatre Alexander String Quartet, 2 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Lydia Pense & Cold Blood, 3 p.m.

The Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Front the Band, 8 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Celebrity Stalker, Addalemon, TheNerv, Doris, 8 p.m.

The Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

Fox & Goose Justis & McLane, 8 p.m.

Goldfield Justin Townes Earle, Jonny Two Bags, 7:30 p.m.

Harris Center Kids Helping Kids 8th Annual Signature Gala w/ Wilder Woods, JohnnySwim, Alisan Porter, 6 p.m.

Holy Diver Silver Snakes, Death Valley High, Chrome Rose, Ghost Color, Silent Game, 7 p.m.

Kupros Jereme Greene, 7 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Corduroys, 9:30 p.m.

Republic Bar & Grill Carbin, Hellcat, Nick Nyquil, 9 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam, 8 p.m.

The Starlet Room Plum Anderson, Beauty Queen, Country Club, 6 p.m.

Torch Club Mind X, 5:30 p.m.; Snaps For Sinners, 9 p.m.

1.06 1.10 MONDAY

Dante Club Joe Mazzaferro Septet, 7 p.m.

Goldfield The Picturebooks, Dustin Burke, 7:30 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Jonathan Stoyanoff Trio, Joshua Wisterman & Elizabeth Unpingco, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & Friends, 5:30 p.m.

1.07 TUESDAY

Kupros Strapped for Cash, 5 p.m.

North Natomas Library Sacramento Guitar Society: Strum for Fun, 3:30 p.m.

The Pour Choice Luxury Hotline, 6:30 p.m.

The Press Club Night School w/ DJ Rock Bottom, 9 p.m.

Skips Music Free Ukulele Workshop, 6:30 p.m.

Torch Club Scott McConaha, 5:30 p.m.; Dash, 8 p.m.

1.08 WEDNESDAY

The Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Open Mic Jam, 9 p.m.

Holy Diver Your Smith, Chelsea Jade, 7 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Live Blues Jam Session, 8 p.m.

The Pour Choice Brotherly Mud, 6:30 p.m.

The Starlet Room Blues & Bourbon: Andy Santana & the West Coast Playboys, 5:30 p.m.

Torch Club The O’Mally Sisters, 5:30 p.m.; Almost Blue, 8:30 p.m.

FRIDAY

Ace of Spades Colors Worldwide Presents: R&B ONLY w/ Dauchè and Jabari, 7:30 p.m.

Auburn State Theatre Don Henry, Laurie Lewis, Claudia Russell, Nina Gerber, 8 p.m.

B Street at The Sofia I See Hawks In L.A., 6 p.m.

The Boardwalk The Pat Travers Band, 7:30 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Baddest Beams, Mondo Deco, Captain Cutiepie, Anime Aliens, 8 p.m.

Capitol Garage Capitol Friday’s Reggae Night w/ DJ Veyn, 10 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Lantz Lazwell & the Vibe Tribe, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose According to Bazooka, Kally & Ally O’Mally, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ CrookOne and Guests, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Stargazing: A Bowie Tribute Show feat. Roa Brothers Band, Spacewalker, The HeyNows!, The Tipsy Orchestrina, 5:30 p.m.; Joy & Madness, 9:30 p.m.

Harris Center Mark Hummel’s Blues Harmonica Blowout feat.

Magic Dick, Lee Oskar, Jerry Portnoy & More, 7:30 p.m.

Highwater VIBE w/ Host Basi Vibe, 10 p.m.

Holy Diver Wolf & Bear, Kurt Travis, Adventurer, The Measure, In Chaos, 6:30 p.m.

Kupros Ross Hammond, 5 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge William Mylar’s Hippie Hour, 5:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Haley Show, Wendell & the Puppets, Se7en of Limbo, 8:30 p.m.

Opera House Saloon Shades of Pink Floyd, 9:30 p.m.

Palms Playhouse Coco Montoya, 8 p.m.

Placerville Public House Nipper Brothers, 8 p.m.

The Pour Choice Everything Nice, 6:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Island of Black and White, 10 p.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Scottish Rite Masonic Center Industria del Amor, Los Dinnos, Vennus, Sonora Tropicana, 6:30 p.m.

Shine Travis Larson Band, Larry Mitchell, 8 p.m.

The Side Door Tropacili Flames, 7 p.m.

The Starlet Room The Nickel Slots, MerryGold, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Midtown Creepers, 5:30 p.m.; Tracorum, Cloudship, 9 p.m.

1.11 SATURDAY

Ace of Spades Neon Rodeo: Nate Smith, DJ CJ, 7:30 p.m.

Arthur Henry’s The Candy Barflies, 8 p.m.

Auburn Odd Fellows Lodge Dead Winter Carpenters, The Golden Cadillacs, 7 p.m.

B Street at The Sofia Danielle Nicole w/ Alastair Greene Band, 6 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. What’s Left, 2 p.m.

The Boardwalk Niviane, Potential Threat, Sonic Prophecy, From the Ruins, 7:30 p.m.

Claimstake Brewing Ben Abney, Brian Hanover, Grub Dog Mitchell, 8 p.m.

Downtown Sacramento Ice Rink Hella Lit Ice Party w/ DJ Elements, 6 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Posterchild, 9:30 p.m.

Fox & Goose Scott Paul Graham , 9 p.m.

Goldfield Merkules, 2HK, 7:30 p.m.

Harlow’s Irishpalooza 2020: Whiskey & Stitches, One-Eyed Reilly, The Pikeys, Stepping Stone, The McKeever School of Irish Dance, Bob Eastwall, 5:30 p.m.

Harris Center Keyboard Conversations w/ Jeffrey Siegel, 7:30 p.m.

Holy Diver Zion I, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Tressa & Friends, 3:30 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Technosaic w/ Ben Annand, Javier Fabian, Amicus, Solara, 9 p.m.

Mondavi Center: Jackson Hall An Evening w/ Itzhak Perlman, 8 p.m.

Nicholson’s MusiCafe Ukulele Sing-Along, 11:30 a.m.; Free Ukulele Class, 1 p.m.

Old Ironsides Contra Sleeps, East West North-ish, The Dark Whatever, 9 p.m.

Opera House Saloon Everyday Outlaw, 9:30 p.m.

Palms Playhouse Don Henry, Laurie Lewis, Claudia Russell, Nina Gerber, 7:30 p.m.

Placerville Public House Frankie and the Defenders, 8 p.m.

The Pour Choice The Stray Band, 6:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub WonderBread 5, 10 p.m.

The Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Shady Lady Dirty Chops Brass Band, 9 p.m.

Shine Mookatite, Hyberbella, Saudade, 8 p.m.

Skips Music Weekend Warrior Jam, 12 p.m.

Torch Club Drunken Kung Fu, 5:30 p.m.; RJ Mischo, 9 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

1.12 SUNDAY

Arthur Henry’s Dos Hombres Jazz, 5 p.m.

Berryessa Brewing Co. Achilles Wheel Trio, 2 p.m.

Blue Note Brewing Co. Roadhouse 5, 3 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Classical Concert: Christina Mok & Miles Graber, 3 p.m.

Faces Nightclub Frolic w/ Amy Roze, Zephyr, Pumatron, 3 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Hell Bent, 3 p.m.

Harris Center Keola Beamer & Jeff Peterson, Moanalani Beamer, 2 p.m.

Holy Diver LouMuzik, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Laughs Jam, 3 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Sugar Shack, 5 p.m.

LowBrau The Würst Rock N’ Roll Matinee w/ Blag Dahlia of Dwarves, JonVonRonk, 5 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Factor IX w/ DJ Hawk, DJ CarnieRobber and Guests, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Coco Montoya, 3 p.m.

The Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

SacYard Community Tap House Rebecca Jed, 2 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Front the Band, 8 p.m.

1.13 MONDAY

The Boardwalk Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Secrets, Push Over, The Never & Now, 6:30 p.m.

LowBrau Motown on Monday’s w/ DJ Epik, 9 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Heath Williamson & Friends, 5:30 p.m.

1.14 TUESDAY

Kupros Allie Marcel, 5 p.m.

North Natomas Library Sacramento Guitar Society: Strum for Fun, 3:30 p.m.

The Press Club Night School w/ DJ Rock Bottom, 9 p.m.

Torch Club William Mylar Holiday Hippie Hour, 5:30 p.m.; Sactown Playboys, 8 p.m.

1.15 WEDNESDAY

The Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Crest Theatre Eric Johnson, 6:30 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Saloon Open Mic Jam, 9 p.m.

Louie’s Cocktail Lounge Live Blues Jam Session, 8 p.m.

The Pour Choice Jordan McDougal, 6:30 p.m.

The Starlet Room Blues & Bourbon: Big Chiefs, 5:30 p.m.

Torch Club Ballin That Jack, 5:30 p.m.; Jennings, 9 p.m.

Comedy Folsom Hotel Saloon Standup Saloon Hosted by Jason Anderson, Mondays, 8 p.m.

JB’s Lounge & Grill Wild’N Out Wednesday Night Open Mic Comedy, Wednesdays, 9 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited Hilarity First: A Comedic Fundraiser for Democratic Presidential Candidate Andrew Yang feat. David Lew, Ellis Rodriguez Dejan Tyler Steph Garcia & More, Jan. 2, 7 p.m.

Jessica Michelle Singleton, Mike Eshaq, Connor Martin, Jan. 3 - 5, Fri. & Sat, 8 & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Pro-Am Comedy Night Showcase Hosted by Ellis Rodriguez, Jan. 7, 8 p.m.

One Degree of Separation w/ Brad Bonar Jr., Ruby Setnik, Chris Smith, Diana Hong, Jan. 9, 7 p.m.

Kabir “Kabeezy” Singh, Jordan Conley, Raj Dutta, Jan. 10 - 12,Fri. & Sat, 8 & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Daniel Weingarten, Jan. 15, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Open Mic Comedy w/ Hosts Jaime Fernandez and Michael Cella, Tuesdays, 8 p.m.

On the Y Open Mic Comedy w/ Guest Hosts, Thursdays, 8:30 p.m.

Punch Line Jen Kirkman, Ronn Vigh, Jan. 2 4, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat, 7:30 & 9:45 p.m.

Tag Team Comedy: 2 Comedians Same Time, Jan. 5, 7:30 p.m.

Lance Woods, Jan. 8, 8 p.m.

Comedy Allstars, Jan. 9, 8 p.m.

Michael Yo, Jan. 10 - 11, Fri. & Sat, 7:30 & 9:45 p.m.

LoLGBT+ Presents: Queens & Comedy, Jan. 12, 7:30 p.m.

The 2020 Future of Comedy Showcase: Kabir Singh, Buddy Dean, Artie Valenzuela, Westley Hofman and More, Jan. 15, 8 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Open Mic, Sunday’s and Mondays, 8 p.m.

Improv Taste Test and Harold Night, Wednesdays, 7 - 10 p.m.

Cage Match and Improv Jam, Thursdays, 8 - 10 p.m.

Anti-Cooperation League, Saturdays, 9 p.m.

STAB! Comedy Theater Comedy Open Mic, Thursdays, 9 p.m.

STAB! Podcast Panel Show, Fridays, 10 p.m.

Late Week Leftovers Open Mic, Sundays, 8 p.m.

The Starlet Room Comedy Burger w/ Ngaio Bealum & Wendy Williams, Jan. 12, 6:30 p.m.

Misc.

1409 Del Paso Blvd. Uptown Market on the Boulevard, Saturdays, 12 - 5 p.m.

8th and W Streets Certified Farmers Market, Sundays, 8 a.m.

- 12 p.m.

20th Street (Between J and L) Midtown Farmers Market, Saturdays, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m.

21st & X Streets Sacramento Antique Faire, Jan. 12, 6:30 a.m. 3 p.m.

Auburn State Theatre Screening of Documentary Raise Hell: Life and Times of Molly Ivins, Jan. 9, 7 p.m.

B Street at The Sofia Popcorn Falls by James Hindman, Jan. 14 - Feb. 23 Blue Cue Trivia Night, Wednesdays, 9 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, Tuesdays, 7 p.m.

Cafe Colonial Sacramento Democratic Socialists of America Presents: Feminist Social, Jan. 10, 7 p.m.

Cal Expo SacAnime: Anime/PopCulture Convention, Jan. 3 - 5 Capitol Garage Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz, Wednesdays, 8:30 p.m.

Dinner and a Drag Show, Saturdays, 7:30 p.m.

Country Club Plaza Certified Farmers Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m. - 12 p.m.

Crocker Art Museum Arte Extraordinario: Recent Acquisitions, Through Jan. 5, 2020 Pueblo Dynasties Master Potters from Matriarchs to Contemporaries, Through Jan. 5, 2020 When I Remember I See Red: American Indian Art and Activism in California, Through Jan. 26, 2020 Cool Clay: Recent Acquisitions of Contemporary Ceramics, Through July 19, 2020 Crooked Lane Brewing Co. Trivia Night, Wednesdays, 6 p.m.

Florin Road & 65th Street Certified Farmers Market, Thursdays, 8 a.m. - 12 p.m.

Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, Tuesdays, 7 p.m.

Golden 1 Center Harlem Globetrotters, Jan. 12, 1 & 6 p.m.

Harlow’s The Darling Clementines Burlesque & Variety Show: Juicy January, Jan. 9, 7 p.m.

Harris Center for the Arts Girls Night! The Musical, Jan. 8, 7:30 p.m.

Highwater The Trivia Factory, Mondays, 7 p.m.

Historic Old Folsom Farmers Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m. - 1 p.m.

Kupros Craft House Triviology, Sundays, 7:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, Thursdays, 8 p.m.

Midtown BarFly Salsa Lessons, Wednesdays, 8 p.m.

Pence Gallery Artist Talk w/ Lynn Dau, Jan. 11, 1 p.m.

Scottish Rite Masonic Center Guns & Hoses Crab & Shrimp Feed, Jan. 11, 5 p.m.

Shepard Garden and Arts Center Sac Potters Group: Art by Fire "Seconds Sale," Jan. 11, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Shine Thee Word Thing Hosted by Lob feat. Patrick Grizzell, Jan. 8, 7:30 p.m.

Solomon's Delicatessen: The Russ Room Record Club Sacramento Movie Night: David Bowie: Five Years & More, Jan. 6, 6 p.m.

Southside Park SacCirque Park Takeover, Jan. 12, 1 p.m.

Spotlight Ballroom Free Ballroom Party feat. Dancing, Lessons & More, Jan. 4, 7 p.m.

Streets Pub and Grub Pub Trivia, Sundays, 8 p.m.

Strikes Unlimited (Rocklin) Let’s Get Quzzical: Trivia Game Show Experience, Tuesdays, 7 p.m.

Sunrise Light Rail Station Certified Farmers Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m. - 12 p.m.

Tower Brewing Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz, Wednesdays, 7 p.m.

Tsakopoulos Library Galleria Superfest Sacramento: Disability Film Festival, Jan. 12, 1 p.m.

Two Rivers Cider Co. Cribbage Night, Tuesdays, 7 p.m.

Trivia Night, Wednesdays, 7 p.m.

WHIRED Wine Bar Think and Sip Trivia Night, Jan. 7, 6:30 p.m.

Yolo Brewing Co. Trivia Night, Tuesdays, 6 p.m.

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

23

1517 21 st Street Sacramento

All Ages & Bar Music Venue

Holydiversac.com

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

CHELSEA JADE

FRI JANUARY 3 • 7PM

SAT JANUARY 4 • 7PM

SUN JANUARY 5 • 7PM

WED JANUARY 8 • 7PM

THU JANUARY 9 • 7PM

FRI JANUARY 1O • 6:3OPM

SAT JANUARY 11 • 7PM

THU JANUARY 16 • 6:3OPM

LIFE OF THE AFTERPARTY

FRI JANUARY 17 • 7PM

SAT JANUARY 18 • 7PM

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

THU JANUARY 23 • 6PM 24

MON JANUARY 2O • 6PM

SAT JANUARY 25 • 6:3OPM

SUN JANUARY 26 • 6PM

STRATA

FRI JANUARY 24 • 7PM

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

SUN JANUARY 19 • 7PM

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

1517 21 st Street Sacramento Holydiversac.com

FRI JANUARY 31 • 7PM

SAT FEBRUARY 1 • 7PM

ng Servi

ow gle sh n i s y r at eve

WED FEBRUARY 5 • 6:3OPM

FRI FEBRUARY 7 • 6:3OPM

coming soon JANUARY 12: LOUMUZIK LIVE FEBRUARY 18: sold out

SAT FEBRUARY 8 • 7PM

SUN FEBRUARY 9 • 6:3OPM

MON FEBRUARY 1O • 6PM

TUE FEBRUARY 11 • 7PM

WED FEBRUARY 12 • 6:3OPM

THU FEBRUARY 13 • 6PM

FRI FEBRUARY 14 • 7PM

SUN FEBRUARY 16 • 7PM

MON FEBRUARY 24 • 7PM

SubmergeMag.com

IANN DIOR FEBRUARY 26: OLIVIA O’BRIEN FEBRUARY 27: SASAMI FEBRUARY 28: SOCIAL CLUB MISFIT FEBRUARY 29: DESTROY BOYS MARCH 1: HAVE MERCY MARCH 6: THE HOLDUP, GRIEVES MARCH 11: LOUIS XIV MARCH 12: CITY MORGUE MARCH 13: WHILE SHE SLEEPS MARCH 14: KNUCKLE PUCK

MARCH 19: SLEEP ON IT MARCH 23: BEAR HANDS MARCH 27: BAD OMENS MARCH 29: GORILLABISCUITS APRIL 5: TINY MOVING PARTS APRIL 9: PRO-PAIN APRIL 1O: PHANGS APRIL 17 & 18: LYNCH MOB APRIL 22: POWERGOVE MAY 16: SWALLOW THE SUN MAY 27: ANTI-FLAG MAY 31: FLOTSAM & JETSAM SEPTEMBER 14: AMARANTHE

SO MUCH308 LIGHT,• January 1 – January 15, 2020 Issue CATBAMBOO AND ROMAN PILOT

25

THE SHALLOW END I’m not sure if I’m correct, but I think this is the first time an issue of Submerge has actually hit stands on New Year’s Day. I’m not sure why that feels significant to me, but it does. Maybe it’s because I’m more anxious than ever to get this year started than any that I’ve lived through in the past. I kind of feel sorry for 2020.

It hasn’t even started as of this writing, but it’s like it’s already got all this baggage attached to it. For a start, it’s a leap year, so we’re going to have to put up with this shit for one extra day. More importantly, it’s census time, which is usually just a tedious but necessary process, but has now become yet another hyper-politicized lightning rod. And, you know, we’re probably going to be embroiled in an impeachment trial real soon, but what could possibly go wrong with that?

Of course, we’re barreling forward toward a presidential election that is sure to be a total fucking shit show. I’m not even going to touch trying to make a prediction about how that mess will resolve itself, but I’ve had this fantasy recently that, by some odd twist of fate none of

26

MITT, YOU’RE UP

us can foresee now at the dawn of the New Year, Mitt Romney ends up being our next president.

I’m not sure how something like this would happen, mind you, nor would I be particularly stoked about it, but I would be somewhat relieved to have some boring, cardboard milquetoast occupying the Oval Office, and I can’t think of anyone more perfectly suited for such a role than Romney. Like, here’s an exercise for you to do at home: Go look at yourself in the mirror and repeat aloud, “President Romney”—I’m sure Mitt has been doing this himself for most of his adult life—as many times as necessary until a wave of relaxation washes over you. It might not happen right away; it took me about 300 times, but it works.

It’s really not that bad, right? President Romney. Maybe you’d just roll your eyes at the mention of it, then go about your day. You’re justified rage has been replaced by the mild feeling of disappointment you get when you go to a restaurant and ask for a Coke, but the server politely asks you, “Is Pepsi OK?” It’s fine.

It’s … fine.

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

JAMES BARONE jb@submergemag.com

You might say to me, “but James, Romney’s not even running.” True, but again, I did say it was a fantasy. If the last few years have taught us anything, shit is as crazy as fuck right now. Maybe at some point during the Senate impeachment trial, Romney grows a spine and makes an impassioned plea to his party’s leaders and clears the dust out of the Republicans’ eyes. The spell is broken.

Suddenly, they realize that they’ve sold themselves and the country short by standing behind someone who is basically just a humansized Cheeto filled with rat droppings. Sean Hannity wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and cries, “Sweet Baby Jesus, what have I done?” and then moves to Nepal and becomes a goat herder. The GOP rallies around their Lord and Savior Mitt, and a nation, relieved that this whole national nightmare is over, decides that it’s time to give ol’ Mittens a go.

You may also ask me, “but James, didn’t you vote for Bernie Sanders in the last primary?

Why don’t you just want him—or some other

left-wing nut job—to be president.” I mean, sure, I do. I’ve mentioned before that I like many of the potential democratic nominees for president. And yes, I’d love for our next president to usher in a new era of progressive politics and unicorns and rainbow farts. I mean, that’s who I am.

But I know what that will mean. The nation will have whiplash from going from one extreme to the other, and even more rabid “conservatives” will crawl out from under their online comments sections, win primaries with poor turn-outs, manage to get elected to Congress and we’ll be more or less where we started. I’m just sick of the circus, you know?

What I’m really saying is, I want to turn on a late night talk show and listen to jokes about something other than the president. I just want someone who’s going to Make America Boring Again. I’m not sure there’s anyone out there who’s more qualified than Mitt Romney.

Dude, if you’re looking for a campaign manager, call me.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 308 • January 1 – January 15, 2020

27

DIVE INTO SACRAMENTO & ITS SURROUNDING AREAS

JANUARY 1 – 15, 2020

#308

RICHAUN HOLMES THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED LEARN HOW TO CROSS COUNTRY SKI

MAKEBELIEF FRUITS OF ONE’S LABOR JELLO BIAFRA &..OTHERS TO PLAY THE WURST ROCK ‘N’ ROLL MATINEE

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL’S AMALUNA COMES TO SACRAMENTO!

PUNCH BOWL SOCIAL EAT. PLAY. LOVE.

5

JANUARY EVENTS TO JUMP START THE YEAR

MICHAEL

CARBONARO USE YOUR ILLUSION

FREE