Relationships at Work

These days, people spend the bulk of their time at work. Strong workplace relationships between colleagues and with management are an important component of a healthy organizational culture. However, when those relationships become too competitive or develop into romances, what is an HR professional to do?

Resource Magazine spoke with Cindy MacDonald, MHRM, Director of HR and Office Services at the Office of the Auditor General of Ontario, about the implications of workplace relationships for employees, employers and HR professionals. What advice can you provide HR professionals to help guide staff in building strong relationships at work? Building solid relationships is fundamental to succeeding in the workplace. To build effective work relationships, it’s important for managers and supervisors to know their staff. Building relationships with co-workers is equally important, as it give us a sense of belonging.

As a leader of a group, it is important to encourage staff to bring solutions to problems they identify. It demonstrates to the group that you are open to ideas and changes. If there is a problem with an employee, always discuss the problem directly with the employee first. Together, you can find a solution that works while building trust and loyalty. As managers, it is vital that we express our appreciation to employees who are constantly going beyond the call of duty. It is also a best practice to share the credit publicly for the accomplishments achieved by the department and not take credit alone. Having a healthy, respectful relationship with your manager, co-workers and subordinates can improve work morale, teamwork, productivity and loyalty. Taking initiative, sharing your innovative approach to manage an issue, and having open and safe communication will help build strong working relationships. If employees feel connected, it creates a sense of family, which decreases turnover and increases dependability.

Although our organizations encourage collaboration and camaraderie, how do we help employees who are overly competitive with colleagues? Competitiveness is inherent in all workplaces, as everyone wants to be the “shining star.” While we are constantly encouraging collaboration and teamwork, it is also good to have healthy competition at work to strive for excellence.

Co-workers who are overly competitive may feel insecure and threatened by others in the department. Demonstrate your willingness to work with them, not against them. Leading a collaborative team and setting expectations early in the employment relationship will help minimize the overly competitive behaviour of a co-worker. Look at the employee’s competitiveness as a positive attribute and keep the employee motivated by assigning challenging and impactful work for the organization. Work with, not against, their competitive edge. Be civil, respectful and polite in your approach, praising them for work well done. Maintaining a healthy competitive workplace ensures an environment of respect toward each other.

What are your thoughts on romance at work? Having friendships at work help us when moral support is required or make us happy because we can celebrate with someone when something good has happened at work. However, there are risks associated with personal relationships at work, and the level of risk depends on the type or nature of the relationship.

In cases where a supervisor and subordinates are romantically involved, it can give rise to an allegation of sexual harassment and discrimination, perceived favouritism, gossip, rumours and envy. Co-workers may think that a romance with an individual

in a position of responsibility will influence promotions and pay increases, creating a sense of mistrust. If the relationship does not work, the fallout could have a serious impact on employee morale and risk retaliatory measure, creating a hostile work environment, decreasing productivity and negatively impacting business operations.

When does a consensual romantic workplace relationship become an employer’s business? It would be naïve not to recognize that romance and love affairs are happening at work. Employers are creating policies to manage consensual workplace relationships to minimize liability. I don’t believe that employers should forbid these relationships, but they should have mechanisms in place to protect employees when involved in a consensual relationship.

Although workplace romances are not against the law, participants’ behaviours could cross an ethical and professional line that will require discipline. Dealing with these issues can be challenging, more so if the organization does not have adequate resources to deal with inappropriate behaviours. Can the employer (through HR policies) ban relationships at work?

I don’t believe this would be beneficial, as it conveys the message that you are not a good “corporate citizen.” Since romance at work is not against the law, employees are engaging in romantic relationships at work. Many organizations have created policies that restrict office romance mainly between employees at different levels of an organizational hierarchy. Fully banning romance at work would only limit disclosure of such relationships and not deter employees from dating. Since we spend a significant amount of time at work, relationships are bound to happen, more so with the erosion of traditional dating/courtship and many people being sceptic about online dating. Organizations need to be more vigilant about creating policies and training staff on acceptable behaviours at work to limit liability.

As banning romance/affairs at work is not recommended, what are some good policies or approaches? Organizations are creating more reasonable policies, and implementing guidelines and procedures that help mitigate the risks associated with these relationships at work, and aim to create a legal and ethical workplace. Employees must be aware of these policies on romance, dating and other types of relationships between employees.

The organization requires a strong nepotism policy, a sexual violence and harassment policy (Bill 132), a violence and harassment in the workplace policy (Bill 168), and a code of conduct/civility policy that addresses all areas to manage romance and/or affairs at work. Many organizations are also now creating and implementing office romance policies to ensure employees are aware of all the rules regarding romance in the workplace. What would you recommend if the romance is between and manager and a subordinate?

Although policies may ban this type of romance because there is a power

imbalance that can have serious implications with the participants and other employees, such romances are still happening. I would recommend that employees in this type of relationship fully disclose their relationships to HR in order to maintain respect and dignity in the workplace. I would also recommend that the reporting lines be changed immediately to be proactive in resolving potential issues, such perceived favouritism, cronyism and, in a case of a break-up down the road, claims of retaliation or bullying. It is important that the relationship does not have a negative impact on productivity.

Do you think that the #MeToo movement has caused organizations to make changes in their policies regarding romance? The #MeToo movement is new and evolving in workplaces, and it is still in the early infancy stages. Organizations are talking about the whole concept; however, it seems that it needs to be championed for this movement to be at the forefront of all discussions. Policies on romance at work need to align with the #MeToo movement and protect employees. Although the laws on sexual harassment are very clear, the organization’s culture needs re-adjusting so that no sexual misbehaviour is accepted or ignored. Organizations are focusing their efforts on providing training to managers so they have a better understanding of how the power dynamics between manager and subordinate affect the organizational culture. If a romantic relationship fails and there is conflict, like a complaint made to HR about sexual harassment or retaliation, how can HR support both employees while investigating the complaint?

Going through a break-up is very difficult, more so if both parties see each other frequently every day, creating a rollercoaster of emotions. Co-workers are also impacted by a romance breakdown, as the dynamics of the team are changed. It can become divisive. If possible, you should enable the employees to have some distance from each other. Remind them about the culture and standards of behaviours expected from them inside and outside the workplace.

The best way to address a conflict is by working it out with all parties. Allowing both parties to hear each other, and ensuring no breakdown of communication, will help when the relationship ends. Also, a good mediation session to assist the parties in resolving conflict is one of the best approaches. How can HR support employees who are going through separation and divorce?

According to M.J. O’Nions Lawyers & Mediators, 38% of Canadian marriage end in divorce. 1 Best scenario: the divorce or separation is amicable. However, that is not always the case.

Employees may approach HR, as they may need assistance or information on health benefit coverage, retirement, pension, and life and disability insurance. Going through divorce may also have a negative impact on employee performance, their mood and concentration, and their general wellbeing.

Having an employee assistance program is a benefit that can help employees going through divorce. Most programs offer tailored relationship services that are geared towards providing legal advice and assistance dealing with their well-being. It may also be a good idea for those employees to take time to be away from work to deal with their emotions, whether it be a vacation or an extended leave of absence.

These situations are difficult for employees to deal with, and employers need to be fully equipped with resources to help them get through this difficult time..

1 O’Nions, M. J. (2018). “What percentages of marriage end in divorce in Canada? www.mjonions.com/divorce-ratesin-canada/