MIND Magazine SEPTEMBER 2019 Issue #21

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COVER


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Team Sukiran Singh, Editor-in-Chief, Photographer Simarjot Wadhwa, Junior Editor Disha Shah, Features Editor, Co-ordinator Ankur Bhoria, Photographer

Contributers Ruchir Vashishtha, Photographer Raju Raman, Photographer Sukiran Singh, Photographer Bharat Gupta, Stylist Kayal Parekh, Stylist Ghena Thadani, Stylist Sahil Gulati, Stylist Suraj Singh, Stylist Nishi Singh, HAIR and MUA Ankita Varkhade, MUA Astha Agarwal, MUA Rakshanda Israni, MUA Cash, Hair (MUA) Lucky, MUA Pooja Nair, MUA Shivani Yadav, Writer Jasmine Singh, Writer Alifia, Writer

Thank you Purple Thoughts Inega Models Toabh Models

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CONTENTS

8

Our Contribu -tors

28 Senorita

12

52

Sex

Amanpreet Nagpal

Education

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Cover Story

58 Gustav’s Nymphs

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COVER STORY

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Fidus Achates


76 Love Guru

82 Summertime Sadness

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108 Fireflies

116 LILT

Reticent Souls

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Editor’s note I studied in a convent school in the city of Amritsar, Punjab. We had humongous amount of students in each section of our class, from different walks of life. Most of the students were A-grade dic**, parading their low IQ’s in form of any menace they could invoke. In our class, we had 3 rows of benches, one for girls and two for the boys, for obvious reasons. I’m not talking about societal separation between sexes, just the simple Indian rule book of ‘son’ wonders. Anyways, these two idiots on the first bench of the middle row, the one just in front of the teacher’s desk, had newly discovered the wonders of stroking the pony (which he was fondling carelessly if I might add). The teacher noticed. Our teacher was a tall, dark, catholic Keralite (long way from home), John, who ironically taught us Hindi (no wonder I’m bad at it). As soon as he noticed the boy patting the dog, open in the public, he immediately stood up. He looked at the girls and told them to go out and have a water break. The girls of the class hesitantly left the classroom, but as we remember, they stuck outside the classroom with their ears on the wall, to satiate their curiosity of the unusual request. John started talking. He looked at the boy and then rest of the boys. “If you do what you have just found out that you can do to your body, you’re wives are going to run to your neighbors.” After the jaw dropping sentence, he went to the class door, to let the eavesdropping girls. Folks, That’s how I got my sex education, at age 12 (although I was dumb enough to understand back then). Sex and physical intimacy is a taboo in our society, that has always been used to control the youth, specially women. This issue has been created to break those b.s. norms and celebrate it for what it is- a good time, with slight possibilities of unplanned nappy poopers, who would make your life unworthy of true excitement or joy. Just Kidding.

Sukiran Singh Editor, M.IND Mag

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OUR CONTRIBUTORS ANSWER TO OUR SIMPLE QUESTIONHOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? DR. JASMINE SINGH HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? My education on sexual issues was through medical school and through my training as a psychiatrist, which includes seeing patients, having lectures from experienced psychiatrists, and my own reading on love and intimacy.

RAKSHANDA IRANI (HMUA) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? Sex was an interesting topic from the very beginning. It was introduced by my mother in my early teens but all my questions weren't answered then. I further got my "sex education" from my friends when they had their own experiences. The "do's" and "don'ts" became very clear.

BHARAT GUPTA (STYLIST) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? I was probably in middle school when computers and internet became accessible. My best friend and I at the time, searched online which was probably the first time we got to know what it was . This was followed by vague discussions with friends that added to the knowledge and by the time we got a formal sex-ed class in school, all of us pretty much knew what it was.

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GHENA THADANI (STYLIST) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? I’ve been supremely blessed to have a mother who is my best friend, first. Just like a quintessential buddy would have no filter with you, my mom never kept taboos. She freely explained the phenomenon to me. Moreover, the spectrum of safe sex has been so vital for her since she’s always looking out for her child. And till today she’s my copartner of all the sexual innuendos.

SOMMY ERIC (STYLIST) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? I didn't get any sex education it was more of self-exploration and as I grew older I became more aware of sex through reading and experience.

ALIFIA (WRITER) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? I didn't receive Sex Education as per say in my school. I got it much later in life, probably while I was adulating. Sources include: Friends and Cousins.

ASTHA AGARWAL (MUA) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? I got my sex education at school somewhere around 5th standard. It was an educative session about menstruation and sex education.

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SHIVANI YADAV (WRITER) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? I was privileged enough to go to a school that provided good enough sex education.

KAYAL PARAKH (STYLIST) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? Never really got sex education. But being the curious kid I am, me and my friends got a dictionary and looked up everything to understand what sex was and what the hype was all about. It took us a while but we started understanding the basics atleast.

SAHIL GULATI (STYLIST) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? Sex education was something even a progressive family like me could not talk about, But yes correct and practical upbringing made us help ourselves School did add a bit of it. But the urge of awareness led to selftaught sessions about sex education Internet, television, books, talking to senior friends and cousins helped. It was not something; I was shy about reading or knowing. I started to talk indirectly and directly about this to my surroundings Initially it was odd but I made sure to make it sound normal so that me and people around should talk about it and learn about it. So I would say one owns efforts helps a lot as because sometimes even coaching does not not help

RUCHIR VASHISHTHA (PHOTOGRAPHER) HOW DID YOU GET YOUR SEX EDUCATION? From the biology class in middle school

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Sex Edu F T.

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L I NA L A MB ERTI NI Photograph Styling by GEHNA THADANI Production by DISHA SHAH Photograp ANKUR B


ucation

hed and Retouched by SUKIRAN

SINGH

RAKSHANDA IRANI phy Assistance by VAIBHAV POLICE, BHORIA MUAH

outfits - Madison shoes - Bootmaker

Let s talk about sex baby...

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outfits - Madison shoes - Bootmaker

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outfits - Madison shoes - Bootmaker

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Outfit - Tommy Hilfiger


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outfits - Madison shoes - Bootmaker

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You're ready now. Go on, Bite the apple.

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INTIMACY IN THE 21ST CENTURY: CONNECTION, WELLNESS, AND EMOJIS by Dr. Jasmine Singh, DO, Psychiatry (U.S.)

Swipe left. Swipe right. Match. Decline. Age. Height. Location. Job. Drinking? Smoking? Religious? Children? Pets? Catfishing. Orbiting. Ghosting. Slide in the DMs. Are you looking for something serious or casual? Left on read. Inappropriate (and unsolicited) pictures. Suggestive emojis. The modern dating landscape is anything but simple: apps house hundreds of men and women globally who have resorted to putting their age, sex, location, interests, and a few pictures online in order to find fulfilling love that will last a lifetime (or maybe just one night). We have found ourselves in situations and using lingo that our parents and ancestors could never have fathomed. However, at the heart of dating today is the same issue facing humans since the dawn of civilization: the need for intimacy. Now before you go rush off to download Tinder, let me explain. Modern intimacy may be reduced to dating apps and one-night stands, but true intimacy—what all humans need—is quite different. True intimacy has as much to do with our brains, emotions, mental health, as it does our anatomy. This need for intimacy is a need for closeness, attachment, and love that we experience with another person. True intimacy is the feeling of being loved and under-

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understood by another, to feel accepted for all of our flaws, and to experience this can be healing and empowering. True intimacy could create a level of wellness, especially mentally, that we may not have known before and would empower us to reach new heights of fulfillment and explore new depths in our lives. How we progress in intimacy and how we attach to others is largely determined by our early attachments to parents or primary caregivers. Our first relationships that are established with our parental figures, color our views about love and even life. When our parents or parental figures are able to meet our needs, comfort us emotionally, and are present for us in a predictable and reliable way throughout our childhood, we learn and model this behavior and subsequently develop into humans that continue to attach to others in a balanced and wholesome way. When children grow up with care that is good enough to teach them that love is available, plentiful, predictable and safe, those children grow up to be adults that can engage relationships intimately, share openly with one another, allow themselves to be vulnerable, and feel safe while doing so. These ideas have been founded on research by the late British psychiatrist John Bowlby, the developer of the attachment theory. Bowlby was interested in how a child’s early relationships with parents affect the child’s development into adults, specifically in their relationships and connections throughout their lives. Essentially, those who grew up with love and affection felt secure enough to connect to others. They also had high self-esteem and were able to comfortably express themselves in a relationship. He also found that those who did not grow up with consistent and reliable affection and emotional support or went through a trauma or separation from caregivers, were not able to trust easily, struggled to communicate directly, and had high anxiety in relationships. When considering Bowlby’s findings along with our modern dating landscape, one could easily become demoralized and think, “How am I supposed to find a secure attachment on an app? Am I even able to securely attach?” To this, I say if one is unable to be vulnerable and share openly with another, I would urge them to engage in self-exploration and ask why. We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable and not fear attachment and potential rejection in order to eventually find our special someone who connects with us, understands us, and is present for us – someone with whom we can truly be intimate. Connection to others gives us a sense of acceptance and well-being, and this impacts our mental health and physical health. To those who fear true intimacy: A study from 2005 showed that love, compassion and joy improve the functioning of our immune system and help us battle disease. Supportive relationships have shown to improve prognosis in conditions such as cancer by reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. Higher rates of depression and anxiety are linked to social isolation, and human connection, even friendships, could reduce

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the rate of depression and anxiety disorders. In my experience, when patients find true intimacy by way of a loving, supportive partner, their mental health improves dramatically. To be clear, I’m not talking about young love or a college romance; the truth is that honest relationships are work. Films, especially Bollywood films, have perpetuated fantasies about romance, love, and intimacy that are not in agreement with Bowlby’s work. Scenes in Hindi movies in which a girl and a boy see each other just once and decide they are soulmates is illogical. To think that truly intimate and supportive relationships happen with a glance is not realistic, and the idea of a finding a soul mate so easily may give some an unrealistic expectation of true love and true intimacy. True intimacy is found with consistent and concerted effort. For a relationship to reach a juncture in which it is truly intimate takes investment and commitment from both partners. The current culture of dating apps has inadvertently allowed us to think that a better option than the person in front of us may be out there: someone better looking, with a better job, who our parents like, who will inspire us to be better, who will be a better parent – essentially creating enormous expectations from our “soulmate” and excusing our lack of effort. Instead, I would like to propose that we consider people as they are and put more emphasis on how they treat us. The truth is that humans are imperfect, messy, and have positive and negative aspects. Soulmates will mess up, not always be inspiring, deal with health problems and various conflicts of life. They will get old. They will have characteristics that you love and others that drive you nuts. But if you are truly intimate, meaning you are able to hold each other emotionally and hear each other’s innermost voice, the bond that you two will share can make the rocky roads and messiness of life more bearable. Without vulnerability and expression of our true feelings we will not be able to feel secure in our attachments as we can only be fully accepted if we share ourselves completely. We must create a space in our hectic, modern life to allow ourselves to be emotionally intimate with our chosen one, so that we can feel understood, connected, and secure. Our mental health requires that we are mentally and emotionally understood by our partner in order to experience true intimacy. To consider that intimacy is largely based on the physical relationship is a stark misconception. Physical intimacy is merely a reflection of the depth of how fully the couple has been able to share and accept each other in the relationship. At the same time, couples who are facing problems in the bedroom must consider the health and strength of their entire relationship as well as each other’s mental health. Sexual function in both genders results from a complex neurovascular process that also has inputs from the individual’s hormones as well as their psychology. For men, twenty percent of all reported cases of erectile dysfunction are psychological, meaning the true culprit is stress, anxiety, depression, guilt, low

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self-esteem, childhood trauma, various issues in the current relationship, or a pornography addiction. Of course, medical conditions need to be ruled out in cases of erectile dysfunction, but twenty-five percent of all cases of erectile dysfunction occur in men below the age of 40 years old. In women, female sexual dysfunction affects forty percent of women, and the psychological reasons are similar to those of men: anxiety, depression, guilt, work related stress, or a past sexual trauma. People may feel shame or embarrassment in discussing these issues with their doctor, but the first step towards true intimacy and fulfillment is acknowledging there is a problem and discussing it with your partner and your doctor. The path to true intimacy requires a relationship in which one feels accepted, heard, held, understood and valued. Struggles with intimacy may seem to be a problem that is restricted to the bedroom, but the fact is that such issues are actually deeply psychological and could even become psychiatric. If someone is constantly anxious that they partner may leave them, this could precipitate an episode of depression or anxiety. In such a situation, anxiety begets more anxiety. Alternatively, someone who grew up in an environment that was good enough to make them feel whole, supported, loved, and important actually teaches them how to be open to love. In this case, love begets more love. It may seem that someone’s childhood experience either dooms them to an anxiety-ridden life or alternatively love and passion. However, regardless of how emotionally impoverished our childhood may have been, it is possible to have curative relationships which teach us about love and acceptance, for ourselves as well as for others. Such relationships can stem from a romantic interest but can also grow with the help of a well-trained therapist. A therapist can help guide us into becoming more vulnerable when seeking out potential partners, as well as how to communicate more openly, effectively, and help us figure out an appropriate response to the dreaded eggplant emoji. Therapy can help us become more accepting and more courageous to seek out true intimacy, which is what we all want and require for a fulfilled, healthy life. ***

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On Abhinav Outfit - Mint Blush Shoes - Zara Accessories - H&M & Minerali On Rakshitha :-Top and skirt Siddartha Tytler

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I love it when you call me

Señorita FT.

AB HI N AV T YA G I & RAKSH ITH A SUNAINA ( PU R P L E T HO U GHT S ) Photographed by RUCHIR VASHISHTHA Styling by SAHIL GULATI MUA by POOJA NAIR 29


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On Abhinav Outfit - Mint Blush Shoes - Zara Accessories - H&M & Minerali On Rakshitha :-Top and skirt Siddartha Tytler

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On Abhinav Outfit - TwoPointTwo Accessories - H&M On Rakshitha Dress - Urvashi Kaur

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Shirt - khanijo Pants - Avega

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On Abhinav Outfit Siddartha Tytler Shoes - Dmodot Accessories - H&M On Rakshitha Dress Urvashi Kaur

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Bra - lasenza Earrings - Minerali

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On abhinav Cape - Genes lecoanet hemant Joggers siddharth Tytler Accessories - Minerali and H&M Shoes Dmodot On Rakshitha Outfit - Siddartha Tytler Accessories - Minerali ,Heels - Jeetinder Sandhu

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Cover Story

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Outfit: Rudraksh Dwivedi


I’ve got the magic in me VARTIKA SINGH

Photographed by SUKIRAN

SINGH Styling by BHARAT GUPTA Makeup and hair by NISHI SINGH Photography Assistant by AMIT GUPTA, ANKUR BHORIA, VAIBHAV Production by DISHA SHAH shot at PURPLE THOUGHTS MUMBAI 43


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Cover Story

Outfit - Jellyfish clothing at La Da

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Cover Story

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Outfit - Jellyfish Clothinn at La Dee Da

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Cover Story

Outfit - La Dee da Accessories - Bellofox

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Cover Story

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Top - mishĂŠ Skirt - Garima Singal Earrings - Gold Queen by Sakshi Raizada

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AMANPREET NAGPAL PSYCHOLOGIST, TALKING ABOUT INTIMACY

What led to your career transition from working with Jet Airways to Consulting Psychologist? My keen interest has always been in understanding human behavior. Why do we behave the way we do and what can we do to have a healthy behavior. Could you please tell us about some of the challenges you faced in your career as a psychologist and how you overcame them? The most challenging aspect of being a psychologist is in India people come from various cultures and though consider ourselves modern, a lot of people are still resistant towards seeking help from mental health professionals. Quite a few people still believe that going to a counselor is equivalent of taking advice from an elderly or experienced person. It’s still a challenge to deal with this kind of thinking that our society holds towards mental health professionals, but due to the media, the pace of awareness on mental health has increased. What is your best advice for those who want to embark in the field of psychology? Along with the Theoretical aspect one needs to understand that they’re going to be dealing with complex human behavior and the results are going to vary every time with every Client. The motive to be in the field of psychology is very important as disappointment can set in very easily listening to other people’s suffering. At that point keeping an objective and facilitating the person without emotional biases needs to be the utmost priority of a Psychologist. What was the inspiration behind Miracles which is a renowned mental health and wellness brand today? A safe and Non judgmental space with efficient professionals for people to connect with their mental health. Recently there are ads on the internet for psychologists willing to connect with clients strictly through online medium like Skype, etc. What are your views on this? Digital media is a spectacular discovery made by new generation and we should definitely consider it as an advantage. There are lot many places where authentic psychologist or mental health professionals are not available. It is better to have an online consultation rather than suffering from mental disturbances.

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At a policy and infra find that need impro In India there are a lot selling, a credential b and qualification is ye go to unsolicited peo qualification filters be

Nowadays the youth you would like to giv Stress is often a bypro when one compares t expectations from the

To manage things bet based on your accom excelling. If it is stress

Consumers need to b what do you hope to Credentials are vital a dated with the new b want to see people b people seek professio condition to get wors

Which of the strengt According to me,valu

What was your inspi Any key takeaways fro ration daily life has to believer that hope is b when people focus is for a better world. Th

Which of your many interesting? Metaphor Therapy an interesting. Metaphor effective Cognitive th man behavior.

You believe mental w the couple very vital Yes mental health is a ers to work efficiently tion software the com

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astructure level, what would you like to see happening differently? What areas do you ovement, in the mental healthcare sector in India? t of loose ends when it comes to the mental health profession . People tend to mix counbased industry, with healing, which does not require any specific credentials. The credential et not of importance in India for Counselling. Due to which a lot of people suffer as they ople and cause a threat to themselves in their vulnerability. There needs to be strict efore people claim themselves t o be a counselor.

h is going through a lot of stress in terms of career/relation. A piece of advice that ve them to manage things in a better way? oduct of trying to achieve a lot and feeling that “I am not enough”. This gets aggravated themselves with seemingly high performing peers or their past self and sets unhealthy emselves.

tter, you should start on formulating a healthy identity which is away from viewing yourself mplishments. You need to know your potential. Enjoy the process rather than fixating on s that cannot be managed, immediately seek professional help.

be aware of credentialing because psychology is a powerful tool. On a personal note, o have accomplished by the end of your career? as it helps screen genuine professionals. Personally, I feel we need to keep ourselves upbehaviour studies as there are not set rules for human behavior. By the end of my career, I being comfortable going to counsellors, which in India is almost taboo. It is imperative that onal help at the first sign of disturbance and not wait for the mental health se.

ths that you bring to the table, you think are the most important in your job? uing silence and the skill of listening are of great importance to be an efficient therapist.

iration behind writing the book ‘Moments of Joy’? om the book that you would like your readers to know? Moments of joy’ came from inspio offer all of us. With a little twist in our perception a lot can be achieved. I am personally a better than hopelessness. These days, hopelessness has become a way of life. It comes on changing the world and not themselves. They should start with changing themselves here is a lot to be grateful for, and we need to focus our energies on that. practice specialties do you personally find most

nd RECBT (Rational Emotive Cognitive Behavior Therapy) are two therapists I find most r is an inclusive form of therapy that covers the conscious and subconscious. RECBT is an herapy. These therapies are fast, crisp and effective towards a wholesome dealings of hu-

well being translates to physical and social well being. Why is the intimacy between l during the current times where stress takes a toll on one’s well being ? as important as physical health. Mental health is like a software of a computer. For computy both software and hardware need to be working. Stress is like a virus. With good protecmputer can be kept running.

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What’s it like to help people and make a difference in their lives? I don’t think I am not making a difference in someone’s life, I am just facilitating people who want to make a difference.My objective is to understand human behaviour. It’s intriguing to know how under same circumstances people behave and receive information very differently. Lastly, we ask this to everyone, do you think you’re a modern Indian and why? Yes,I am modern Indian because I am adaptable, acceptable and appreciable. ***

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Water Serpents II, Gustav Klimt

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Fishnet bikini top and bottoms : Flirtatious Jewelry: valliyan & B bling


Gustav’s

Nymphs I NS P I R E D B Y A S ER I ES OF PAI NT I NGS B Y GUS TAV K L I M T

F T.

A I SH WA RYA J AG TA P ( I N E G A ) Photographed by SUKIRAN SINGH Styling by KAYAL PAREKH MUA by ASTHA AGARWAL Hair by CASH

DANAË

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NUDA VERITAS

Right: Jewelry: Valliyan

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Pink bralette : la senza

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WATER SERPENTS II


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PALLAS ATHENE Left: Necklace and rings : Valliyan High slit nightie - Erostissch

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JUDITH AND THE HEAD OF HOLOFERNES Right: Jewelry: Valliyan

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Aphrodisiacs Foods that excite By Alifia, Dietitian, Speaker, Columnist

I’m sure even you believe that chocolate, coffee, honey and strawberries have aphrodisiac potential. But these are merely props for the Advertising world and there is NO or little scientific confirmation supporting those Assertions. Procreation was an important moral and religious issue and aphrodisiacs were sought to ensure both male and female potency. The introduction of the first pharmacologically approved remedy for impotence, Viagra (sildenafil) in 1990s caused a wave of public attention, propelled in part by heavy advertising. The search for such substances dates back millennia. An aphrodisiac is an agent (food or drug) that arouses sexual desire. The hunt for natural supplement from medicinal plants is being intensified mainly because of its fewer side effects. An Aphrodisiac is defined as any food or drug that arouses the sexual instinct,

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induces veresal desire and increases pleasure and performance. It is derived from Greek word, goddess of love. The hunt for an Effective aphrodisiac has been a constant pursuit throughout history. Aphrodisiacs can be classified by their mode of Action into 3 types : Those that increase libido, that increase potency and that increase sexual desire. Listing few Natural & Herbal Researched Aphrodisiacs : 1.Tuberous roots of chlorophytum borivilianum (Family liliaceae) : Commonly known as Safed Musli , used to cure impotency , sterility and male potency. 2.Mondia Whitei : is from the periplocaceae family and has been used by many for management of erectile dysfunction. It is used in management of low sperm count. 3.Tribulus Terrestris : is a flowery plant that belongs to family zygophyllaceae, increases levels of testosterone and Luteinising Hormone. 4.Crocus Sativus : commonly known as Saffron, is recommended as an Aphrodisiac Agent. 5.Myristica Fragrans : The dried kernel of broadly ovoid seeds of Myristica Fragrans Houtt (Nutmeg) has been mentioned in Unani Medicine to be of value in the management of Male Sexual disorders. 6.Date Palm : is used in the traditional medicine for male infertility. The Search For natural supplements for medicinal plants is being intensified probably because of its fewer side effects, it’s ready availability and less cost. With more Clinical data on action, safety and drug interactions, treating sexual disorders can become fruitful. ***

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BEAUTY

Fidus Achates F T.

BEATRIZ AND MARTINA ( TOABH) Photographed by ANKUR BHORIA Styling by SURAJ SINGH Makeup by RAKSHANDHA IRANI Hair by ANKITA VARKHADE

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B EA U T Y

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BEAUTY

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Love Guru RJ, Radio City

Interview By – DISHA SHAH Who is Love Guru? Nowadays RJs have become the face of the stations and yet why do you wish to remain anonymous, any particular reason? Radio City’s ‘Love Guru’ has been the first-ever love show on radio and has successfully been a one-stop show on relationship counselling, companionship and comfort for almost two decades. Love Guru’s presenting style and his inimitable voice blend the best of old-school radio and modern relationship advice, making Love Guru one of the most reliable authorities on problems of the heart. It is one of Radio City’s landmark shows that has been winning hearts and airwaves since the past 18 years across 39 markets. Love Guru’s persona as a trusted confidante, offering love advice on-air with a fair share of responsibility, has created a positive impact on relationships which has undoubtedly been the core reason for the popularity and success of this show. The massive fan following that the show enjoys across the country is a testimony to the constant companion Love Guru has evolved to become. Anonymity, when you are dealing with sensitive matters of the heart and relationships, is an asset. In this case, not only is Love Guru’s identity anonymous, but also the listeners tuning in with their queries can choose to keep their identity a secret. It serves the purpose of eliminating any preconceived notions or biases either of both parties may have arising out of knowledge of identity. Listeners paint an image of who Love Guru is for them and this draws a deeper connection between us. As a result, I often receive queries which individuals might not be comfortable discussing with their immediate friends and family. Your chosen name itself is sensational. What parameters can love be defined into? Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can ever experience. It can-

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MASTERS OF JOURNALISM

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cannot be put in certain parameters. The relationship can be between you and your significant other, a mother and a child, a dog and its owner, between siblings, even the feeling which a foodie experiences when they see food! It cannot be defined, just felt and experienced. The moment you can put that feeling into limited parameters, then the emotion is just convenience. Radio City’s Love Guru reaches to over 69 million listeners and is broadcasted in Hindi, Tamil, Telugu, Kannada and Punjabi. This diverse reach of the show helps to reach the hearts of the listeners across the nation. You’ve portrayed your image as a Guru means a guide. Do you think you’ve been able to establish a bond with masses? How? I have received an overwhelming response from the listeners, for being calm, and a well-balanced personality. So, I believe the rationale behind Love Guru’s voice is working well for the show and the same has been maintained across India. In addition to that, I believe that the suggestions, ideas and tips that I provide are very genuine and practical. Being anonymous is also one of the key reasons for the popularity of the show, as people don’t come to me with the fear of being judged. Every listener has an image of this unseen person in their minds and they instantly connect with him. Unfortunately, there’ve been numerous incidents of parting with partners? Hasn’t the concept of love become more commercial and lost its integrity with terms like honesty and oneness? Love is a complex emotion. It is easy to fall in love but quite tough to stay in love. Love is also about loving yourself and being happy, and if people are not happy with a certain situation, they make a decision which they believe will make them happy. It is subjective for every other person, and I certainly don’t think love has lost its charm, it only attests the fact that not one shoe fits all. And at the same time, I am forever grateful to Radio City for being a platform and a catalyst for 18 years to help me reach and positively influence people’s love life and tackle the issues they have been grappling with. Love passes through a long journey from the adolescent to the last stage. Each phase has got different to experience. How do you cater to anxieties and curiosities of people belonging to different age groups? Radio City’s Love Guru as a show, reaches to a wide audience across the nation, as a one-stop shop to all the love problems. The USP of the show is that the listener’s call to pour their hearts out to a complete stranger, whom they have never seen but only heard. The responsibility falls on me to not be frivolous and give each query its due. Irrespective of age, my trick is to use the right choice of words and tone to soothe the caller’s nerves. Plus, music plays a great role in comforting the listener, allowing them to be able to share their problems with me. To tap in the nerve of the new age millennials, we launched the Radio City’s Love Guru App in 2016. The app keeps me constantly connected to the listeners that further strengthens the bond of love and trust. Your own life has got so much to narrate. When and how did you become RJ? How did your show come into existence and what’s it all about?

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My journey as an RJ was a case of being at the right place at the right time. I always had a penchant to be on the radio so, one day I just walked into the studio of a private radio station and auditioned. They liked my voice, diction and language, and I was hired immediately to lead a show the very next day. I owe a lot to radio, especially to Radio City with whom I’ve been in a steady, committed, serious relationship for 18 years now! ‘Love Guru’ was conceived almost eighteen years ago when FM radio was still in its nascent stages. The show was introduced as the first ever love show on radio where an agony-uncle would become a confidant to listeners, offering them sound counsel on how to deal with situations in their personal lives. To establish a connection with the listeners, it was decided to keep my identity a mystery. The show was aired on Radio City in Delhi and Mumbai initially; since then, the listenership, scale and the connection with our audience have been steady and swell. The show now airs across 39 markets pan India and has received various awards at the India Radio Forum in 2011, 2013 and 2018 as the Best Radio Programme (Non-Breakfast – Hindi), RJ of the Year Tamil , Best radio program / show packaging, RJ of the Year in Kannada. Keeping counselling as the core of the show, two new segments were introduced in Delhi ‘Love Guru Diaries’ and ‘Love Lines’. While ‘Love Guru Diaries’ allows old callers to call and reminisce about how Love Guru’s advice helped them resolve their problems, ‘Love Lines’ encourages listeners to share love messages for their loved ones by sharing their feelings on-air. The Love Guru App was also launched in 2016, which enables international and national callers to be a part of the live counselling session that takes place every Friday. In the generation of Online Dating like Tinder, Bumble, Grinder, are people still getting into serious relationships? Has the scenario of love changed? I have seen a lot of successful relationships even in the age of these dating apps, so many of which are borne out of these apps itself! Sure, the process of approaching one another has evolved over the years and with the advent of dating apps, it has become easier for people to choose who they would like to meet. These apps just provide you the platform to connect with someone and start a conversation; it doesn’t guarantee that the person you meet will choose to stay with you forever. That completely depends on how you decide to take that relationship forward. The key here is honesty – you need to be honest about your feelings with others. Keeping in pace with the new age digital media, we launched Love Guru App in 2016, for my listeners nationally and internationally to be connected with me 24x7 and 365 days. Listeners download the Love Guru app on android on App Store. Love Guru show podcast can be heard on Radio City’s website in Hindi, Tamil, Kannada and Punjabi. It’s not easy to communicate to people on such sensitive topic. Do you feel an added responsibility to fulfil, since listeners turn to you for their problems and grievances? I have never felt burdened by my listeners’ queries, but yes, I am aware of the responsibility I have at my end because I know how difficult it is to open up

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about personal problems. Which is why I am never frivolous; I listen patiently and intently and because I’ve been doing this for the last seventeen years, I’ve gained immense insight into human behavior and perspective into matters which has only helped me solve issues better with time. I am so thankful that I am in a position where I can help people and bring a difference to their lives. What’s the greatest lesson you’ve learned through your career being a Love Guru? Any message you would like to give to our readers? We have believed and observed that time has been the biggest issue in any relationship, and I genuinely feel that if you love someone, you invest time in your relationship. There is no alternative to it. If your partner is not feeling loved and if there are frequent complaints, it’s a sign that you need to address the issue with utmost importance. Most of us tend to ignore this and that is when things take a turn for the worse in a relationship. We ask this to everyone. Do you think you’re a modern Indian and why? A modern individual is someone who moves ahead with the changing times, accepts the good and doesn’t hold on to the wrong notions and biases of the past. In that regard, yes, I am one. I value my culture and roots, but I am not afraid to try something new in life. This also reflects in the advice I provide to my listeners. Being a modern Indian to me is also about being true to yourself and following your heart, another piece of advice I often give to my listeners. ***

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Summertime Sadness RUCHIRAA GORMARA Photographed by SUKIRAN SINGH Styling by DISHA SHAH Makeup and hair by RAKSHANDA IRANI Ft.

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top- Torqadorn

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The Lost of Joy Our paths might not ever tangle, to see the fits of lonely road. But I pause to wonder, if they could, what light they sprinkle, if they would. Alas, thoughts don't change the fact, for you've decided a path adrift. So I wish you heavens, my sweet friend, the enchanted second has come to an end. - SS

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Reticent Souls

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MILJAN (SKY MODEL AGENCY) Photographed by AMIT HASIJA Styling by SOMMY ERIC

Wardrobe courtesy - zara, h&m, tommyfilger, Mr button, Levi’s, Pramod

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'Solitude is not the same as loneliness. Solitude is a solitary boat floating in a sea of possible companions.' - Robert Fulghum

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Dating in India By SHIVANI

YADAV

‘Dating’ as a term, is one of the most confusing words out there with a relatively loose meaning which can mean different things for different people. Some start ‘dating’ after the first date and others after sleeping together, so clearly, it’s a very confusing thing to do actively for (on an average) two decades of your life. Now, bring this generalized activity to a complicated country like India and you’re bound to get a situation which will get absurd. Despite being the largest democracy of the world, the patriarchal thinking of India holds many people back for going out and actively looking for a relationship. But because of societal emphasis on family and opposition to individuality, dating, as a concept, is technically uncommon (even in the metropolitan cities). The little that exists, resides in the underbelly of our society, away from the eyes of our many uncles and aunties. This is where apps like Tinder and Bumble enter who have made this treacherous journey, less scary and intimidating. They have made dating in the 21st century in a country like ours a lot more easy, helping people open up to potential suitors in the privacy of their homes, away from the

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Of course, one can’t talk about dating via apps, without addressing the hookup culture, which does exist prominently in India, but it is something that is relatively less confusing than dating, which is something that we have already established to be way too broad of a term. Due to the general misogynistic ideology, people tend to get grip around the meaning of hookup much faster than dating because the former, in theory serves some at least purpose even if it’s emotionally detached. But if a date doesn’t lead to marriage, why even bother. There’s a reason why there are so many unhappy couples in our country. Marriages are treated as an occasion to bring two families together, rather than individuals, so the whole concept of dating falls flat. The extremely important ‘getting to know each other’ phase then seems like a waste of time and this singular change in ideology – especially towards women – can have positively drastic effects. It is still kind of a long shot, though. ***

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On palak Gown - Sawan Gandhi Bra - h&m Heels - Steve Madden On vaibhav Outfit - Siddartha Tytler Shoes - Steve Madden

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Fireflies

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VAIBHAV ANAND ,PALAK SINGHAL (PURPLE THOUGHTS) Photographed by RAJU RAMAN Styling by SAHIL GULATI Makeup and hair by POOJA NAIR 109


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Gown - Sawan Gandhi Heels - Steve Madden

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On palak Skirt - Sawan Gandhi Bra - h&m Heels - Steve Madden Ok vaibhav Outfit - Chatenya Mittal Shoes - Steve Madden

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On palak Jumpsuit - Siddartha Tytler Heels - Steve Madden Earrings - Minerali Ok vaibhav Outfit - Sawan Gandhi Shoes - Steve Madden

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Pros: * Large open space * Earthy Tones with color contrasts * comfortable seating with bright Ambience * Great staff * Nice Bar * Food is great * Price is right Cons: * Parking is difficult to find in Rush hour. Although there is Valet. At times, it could be an issue.

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Kitc


MODERN INDIAN RESTAURANTS

Lilt

chen and Bar

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MODERN INDIAN INTERIORS

Food: The Food at Lilt is wonderful. Everything seems to be perfectly cooked, with love from the chef. We absolutely enjoyed dishes like the Chicken Tikka, Hummus and Pita, And of course the favourite- Keema Pav.

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MODERN INDIAN INTERIORS

FOOD: GETS 5 STARS

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