3 minute read
Alan Spector: “As I See It”
“As I See It . . . ”
By Alan G. Spector / Link
When the New Year begins, it seems I often find myself being open to taking a good look at myself and the others around me. (I used to spend a lot of time looking at the world around me also, but these days that seems way too daunting for me!) I remember learning that when we change ourselves, we actually change the entire world. Think about it, like a jigsaw puzzle, if only one piece changes, the entire puzzle changes. In the wooden game Jenga, the removal of even one, small piece requires a total rebalancing of the entire tower of pieces . . . or sometimes it even falls apart.
Recently, I heard a person tell me they were acting in MY best interest . . . they sounded sincere, knowledgeable, and dedicated to my best interest. When I looked into the matter further, I was disappointed to find out that the person was more concerned about their own ego and their own power than any more noble goal. It made me think about “being in integrity.” Seems to me that there needs to be a close correlation between our words and our deeds to have true integrity. I recall a psychology professor saying years ago “if someone says one thing and does another, believe what they do, not what they say.” So, someone who says they are helping, but acts in ways that feed their ego or just gives them more control is not being “in integrity.”
I’m guessing we all have true, loyal, friends who genuinely care about us and act in our best interest. Also, we may know people who say they are our friends, but always seem to be part of the problem, rather than the solution. I figure one of the challenges in life is to accurately know how to spot and attract the high-integrity friends you can trust and admire and repel those who mislead us under the guise of “being there for us”. By the way, this also goes for the influential people or leaders in our lives also, no?
Fortunately, in my experience, the “goodies” are far more prevalent than the “schnooks”. Life can be complicated and challenging, but it is also glorious, rewarding, satisfying, and beautiful . . . by 99.9% to 1%. Just steer clear of the “1%-ers!”
Truly, we can endeavor to be “in integrity” ourselves. It seems that although it may be more difficult and give us moments of discomfort, the feeling of acting with integrity with those around us (and certainly with ourselves) can make us proud and contented and joyful.
I don’t make New Year resolutions (too often that leads to disappointment and feelings of failure), but I do find the New
Year a good time to start anew. It is a good time to assess those relationships which are working for us and those which do not. Life is too short to waste on those who squander our friendship, and it is too perilous to allow those who ask for our trust to abuse it.
As you know, I am really into gratitude. It is good for us. It is good for those around us. It is good for the world. Today, the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are chirping . . . we can be grateful for all the good and bounty around us. We have warmth and affection around us, and we have people in our lives we can trust and admire.
Today is a good time to tell them how much we appreciate them. Then, we are truly “in integrity” with ourselves. Feels great!
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