FASHION E-ZINE | The Edit Man Resort 2019

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FASHION

GROOMING

ART

LIVING

POLITICS

PURSUITS

OPINION

N 06

the edit man

RESORT

2019


GUILLAME NÉRY FREEDIVING WORLD CHAMPION -126 METRES IN ONE BREATH





FASHION

GROOMING

ART

LIVING

POLITICS

PURSUITS

ed’s note

OPINION

N 06

the edit man

RESORT

COMPI LE D BY Sharon Armst rong

2019

SHIRT, R22 000; TROUSERS, R20 000, BOTH DOLCE & GABBANA; HAT, R980, THE REAL CRYSTAL BIRCH; CARRERA CALIBRE HEUER 02 WATCH, R85 000, TAG HEUER

EDITORIAL

* PRICES AND AVAILABILITY WERE CHECKED AT THE TIME OF GOING TO PRESS. SUNDAY TIMES THE EDIT CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT PRICES WILL NOT CHANGE, OR THAT ITEMS WILL BE IN STOCK AT THE TIME OF PUBLICATION.

EDITOR Sharon Armstrong sharonb@tisoblackstar.co.za CREATIVE DIRECTOR Anna Lineveldt EDITOR IN SPACE Stephen Haw MANAGING EDITOR Matthew McClure SENIOR DESIGNER Thembekile Vokwana JUNIOR DESIGNERS Carike De Jager Manelisi Dabata SUBEDITOR Benazir Cassim BEAUTY EDITOR Nokubonga Thusi FEATURES WRITER Nothemba Mkhondo JUNIOR FASHION EDITOR Sahil Harilal FASHION INTERN Nombuso Kumalo FINAL EYE Elizabeth Sleith Lynda Stephenson PUBLISHER Aspasia Karras GENERAL MANAGER GROUP SALES & MARKETING Eben Gewers MANAGING DIRECTOR Andrew Gill

ADVERTISING

BUSINESS MANAGER Yvonne Shaff shaffy@tisoblackstar.co.za 082 903 5641 GAUTENG ACCOUNT MANAGER Letitia Louw louwl@tisoblackstar.co.za, 083 454 1137 WESTERN CAPE ACCOUNT MANAGER Samantha Pienaar pienaars@tisoblackstar.co.za 082 889 0366 KZN ACCOUNT MANAGER Gina van de Wall vdwallg@tisoblackstar.co.za, 083 500 5325 ADVERTISING CO-ORDINATOR Jamie Kinnear PRINTING Paarl Coldset PUBLISHERS Tiso Blackstar Group, Hill on Empire, 16 Empire Road (cnr Empire and Hillside roads), Parktown, Johannesburg, 2193 © Copyright Tiso Blackstar Group. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publishers. The publishers are not responsible for unsolicited material. The Edit is published by Tiso Blackstar Group. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Tiso Blackstar Group. All advertisements, advertorials, and promotions have been paid for, and therefore do not carry any endorsement by the publishers.

BOMBER JACKET, R20 995; TROUSERS, R8 295, BOTH PAUL SMITH

E D I TO R ’ S M U ST H AV E S

Made of resistant nylon with plenty of practical pockets, this Prada cargo bag is an ideal companion when you are on the move

BAG, R29 750, PRADA

Gear up for sunny spring adventures with a pair of Cartier sunglasses — their sleek, striking design will complete any outfit

SUNGLASSES, R14 290, CARTIER

Keep good time with Tudor’s Heritage Chrono watch, complete with a small seconds subdial, date complication, and bold tangerine accents

Stylish transitional dressing is all about versatile layers. Throw on this Scotch & Soda graphic printed sweatshirt when warm days turn to cool nights

HERITAGE CHRONO WATCH, R 59 300, TUDOR

SWEATSHIRT, FROM R1 799, SCOTCH & SODA

Let your footwear do the talking with Antony Morato’s sneaker. The eye-catching mix of texture and understated colour is a statement in its own right

SNEAKERS, R2 990, ANTONY MORATO

A N TO N Y M O R ATO 0 1 1 8 8 3 4 0 1 2 C A R T I E R 0 1 1 6 6 6 2 8 0 0 D O LC E & G A B B A N A 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 8 0 8 PAU L S MI TH 011 883 3709 P R A DA 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 5 1 7 S COTC H & S O DA 0 1 1 7 8 4 3 2 3 3 T H E R EA L C R YSTA L B IR C H T H E R E A LC R Y S TA L B I R C H . CO M TAG H EU ER 0 1 1 7 8 4 7 4 2 2 TU DO R S A 011 784 9230


# D E F I N I N G M O M E N TS by LUC A GUA DAGN I N O SA N DTO N CI T Y D i a m o n d Wa l k B o u ti q u e U 2 2 Te l : + 2 7 1 1 3 2 6 7 767


trend COMPI L E D BY Sahi l Haril al

Out of the blue Givenchy gives traditional suiting a breath of fresh air with a COOL COLOUR PALETTE of sky blues and soft greys on long, clean-lined,

GIV E N CH Y

tailored silhouettes

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PHOTOGRAPHY ULRICH KNOBLAUCH, TITTORIO ZUNINO CELOTTO/GETTY IMAGES AND SUPPLIED

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1. BLAZER, R3 250, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND 2. DOLCE & GABBANA SUNGLASSES, R3 790, LUXOTTICA 3 . RAY-BAN SUNGLASSES, R2 390, LUXOTTICA 4 . TROUSERS, R1 650, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND 5 . 1926 41MM WATCH, R27 000, TUDOR 6. SHIRT, R1 900, TED BAKER 7 . BELT, R999, DIESEL 8 . BLAZER, R1 599, WOOLWORTHS 9 . SNEAKERS, R13 000, DOLCE & GABBANA 10. SNEAKERS, R3 999, LE COQ SPORTIF 11. GOLF SHIRT, R799, POLO 12. BAG, R229, TRENERY 13. TROUSERS, R650, WOOLWORTHS 4

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DI E SE L 011 783 0882 DOLCE & GA B B A N A 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 8 0 8 L E CO Q S P O RT IF 0 1 1 7 8 4 6 3 3 4 LU XOT T IC A 0 1 1 805 5682 P O LO POLO. CO. ZA P RI N GLE O F S COTLAN D 011 444 2270 TE D BAKE R 011 883 3803 T R EN ER Y W O O LW O RT H S . CO. Z A T U D O R S A 0 1 1 7 8 4 9 2 3 0 WO O LWO RTHS WOOLWORT HS. CO. ZA



trend COMPI LE D BY Sahi l Haril al

Desert horizon Dries van Noten’s new season statement makes a strong case for SUNSET AND SCORCHED-EARTH-INSPIRED HUES with animal prints

DRIE S VAN N OT E N

and dark leather

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PHOTOGRAPHY KRISTY SPARROW/ FRANCOIS DURAND/STRINGER GETTY IMAGES AND SUPPLIED

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1. RETROSUPERFUTURE SUNGLASSES, R3 699, MOSCON OPTICS 2. HERITAGE ADVISOR WATCH, R85 500,TUDOR 3. GOLF SHIRT, R90, MRP 4. JACKET, R1 499, POLO 5. SNEAKERS, R16 800, PRADA 6. TROUSERS, R1 099, POLO 7. SHIRT, R80, MRP 8. BELT, R780, TED BAKER 9. GOLF SHIRT, R799, POLO 10. TOP HANDLE BAG, R3 998, TRENERY 11. SANDALS, R1 380, TED BAKER 12. GOLF SHIRT, R699, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND 13. TROUSERS, R1 150, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND

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MOSCON OP T IC S 0 1 1 4 8 3 8 0 0 1 M R P M R P. CO M P O LO P O LO. CO. Z A P R A DA 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 5 1 7 P RI N GLE O F S COTLAN D 011 444 2270 TE D BAKE R 011 883 3803 T R EN ER Y W O O LW O RT H S . CO. Z A T U D O R S A 011 784 9230


Available in store and online www.polo.co.za


watches

TE X T Gar y Cotterell

I LLUSTR ATI ON R i chard Becker

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eyond shoulder pads, big hair, and yuppie attitudes, the most notable takeaway of the ’80s was the shift in connectivity. While nearly all aspects of daily life were affected by the arrival of the computer, it was the last decade before we truly lost ourselves to the internet of things. For South Africans, it was the last dark decade of apartheid with an equally abysmal economy, so the new styles and attitudes were welcome escapism: the dream of a better world. Teenagers shattered gender stereotypes — if only through make-up and clothing — and questioned world order while dancing to the synthesised soundtrack of “the future” or while protesting against the excesses of Wall Street and Thatcherism. Sound familiar? As millennials head into their 30s, they are increasingly making what a recent report from J Walter Thompson Intelligence called “escapist purchases”, seeking sentimental, childlike clothing and accessories in an attempt to recapture and prolong their youth. This is a huge opportunity for luxury brands who’ve taken note and are appealing to millennial nostalgia in order to attract the generation’s growing luxury spend. If you’re at the top of your vintage game, you’ll know that it’s the 35th anniversary of the Rolex Two Tone Datejust 16013, with its gorgeous tapestry dial and Jubilee bracelet. A world less conspicuous in its consumption might be more inclined to buy practical all-steel tool watches, but back in the ’80s, the two-tone Datejust was a cool, highly prized status symbol.

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S P E CI AL E DI T I ON H E UE R M ONACO CALI B R E 11 W I T H ‘80S -I NS P I R E D DI AL T R E AT M E NT, R 100 000, TAG H E UE R B OUT I QUE

Heuer Monaco Calibre 11

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Old school is cool again, with vintage watches taking the lead

The Datejust featured prominently in Bret Easton Ellis’ novel American Psycho, published in 1991, with young Manhattan businessman and serial killer Patrick Bateman as the protagonist. Set in boardrooms, fine-dining restaurants, and designer apartments during the Wall Street boom of the late ’80s, the book and the 2000 film release use references to Bateman’s Rolex through the first-person narrative to expose his many vices and the tasteless indulgences of that period. Not to mention Bateman’s questionable moral fibre. The two-tone watch treatment has newfound popularity among those on the nostalgia trip, as well as presenting a less ostentatious alternative to all-gold and a dressier update to a traditional all-steel sports timepiece. Some of the bolder examples in recent years include an update to the elegant Patek Philippe Nautilus 5980/1Ar-001 Chronograph Date, the Omega Seamaster Professional Diver 300M, and this year’s introduction of the first Rolex Oyster Perpetual Sea-Dweller in yellow Rolesor gold and Oystersteel. But it is the Tudor Black Bay Chrono S&G (steel and gold) that really does the trick for me aesthetically, as well as offering great value for money. The Black Bay Chrono was first launched in steel at Baselworld in 2017 and has similar design elements to the Heritage Black Bay S&G (reference 79733N), but the new Chrono S&G is certainly going for gold with all the extra highlights: its two-tone dial features champagne gold sub-dials on black, gold pushers, a contrasting gold tachymeter scale on the bezel, gilt chapter ring, and gold-trimmed hands. All gold aspects of this model have a satin-brushed finish to give a warmer tone to the yellow gold, as well as a vintage look and feel. This year is also the 50th anniversary of its “snowflake” hand, adding to its retro appeal. The overall shape, as well as the domed dial and crystal, come from the first Tudor divers’ watches with their characteristic “Big Crown”, a feature of the famous reference 7924 watch from 1958, which was also the first Tudor watch to be waterproof to 200m. The Black Bay Chrono S&G is powered by a Cosc-certified manufacture Calibre MT5813, with a column wheel mechanism, vertical clutch, silicon balance spring and a power reserve of 70 hours. It is priced at R97 600 on the new two-tone bracelet with gold centre links.

he original Heuer Monaco reference 1133 is a timeless classic which looks just as contemporary now as it did futuristic back in 1969. This year marks the 50th anniversary of the legendary square-faced chronograph with its familiar deep-blue dial, and even more significantly its revolutionary Calibre 11 “Chronomatic”, the first automatic chronograph movement. Conceived by young Jack Heuer, the great-grandson of founder Edouard Heuer, the Monaco was not the first of his designs to establish the brand as a maker of high-quality chronographs. However, until the launch of the Calibre 11 — produced in collaboration with Breitling, Buren, and movement makers Dubois Dépraz under the code name “Project 99” – all chronographs were manual winding. The Monaco is also significant in that it was the first water-resistant square watch (to 100m) featuring a chronograph. Innovation in both design and technology immediately set the Monaco apart, with its unique case distinguishing it from any of the competition. Although it is only 39mm x 39mm, its bold design makes quite a statement on the wrist.

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1. OM E GA S E AM AST E R P R OF E S S I ONAL DI V E R 300M , R 135 000, T H E S WATCH GR OUP 2. GR AND S E I KO NI S S AN GT-R 50T H ANNI V E R S AR Y LI M I T E D E DI T I ON,P R I CE ON R E QUE ST, S E I KO 3. R OLE X OYST E R P E R P E T UAL S E A-DW E LLE R , R 208 400, R OLE X 4. T UDOR B LACK B AY CH R ONO S &G, R 97 600, T UDOR

The round start-stop pushers at 2 o’clock set the red central chronograph seconds hand in motion, while the button at 4 o’clock resets it to zero. Sub-dials for the hour and minute counters are at 9 and 3 o’clock respectively. A perfectly framed date window sits at 6 o’clock. Its crown was positioned on the left to indicate that manual winding was no longer necessary. Thanks to a major marketing coup at the time, Steve McQueen is the first person who comes to mind when we think of the Monaco. McQueen wore a Heuer Monaco 1133B Calibre 11 during the filming of Le Mans in 1970, while driving his Porsche 917. The rest is history. A special commemorative Monaco Gulf Special Edition 50th Anniversary watch was released this time last year and is followed by a series of five exclusive dial treatments, each limited to 169 pieces for the 2019 celebrations. Three of these have already been revealed and snapped up, each paying tribute to one of the five decades of the Monaco, and of course are all powered by the renowned Calibre 11. The first is ’70s-inspired, featuring a textured green Côtes de Genève dial with brown and amber touches

and two black, gold-plated sunray sub-dials presented on a brown leather strap. The second piece is a tribute to 1980s style and features a deep red dial with silver and black touches and two silver sub-dials, presented on a black leather strap. But the very elegant and sporty grey-grained dial of the ’90s tribute gets my vote so far with its blue and red touches and two grey subdials at 3 and 9. It is presented on a blue leather strap with red lining. Each of these is accompanied by a special collector’s coffee-table book, Paradoxical Superstar, that uncovers the Monaco’s popularity among watch enthusiasts. Contributors include British journalist Nicholas Foulkes, various experts, and HSH Prince Albert II of Monaco who wrote the book’s foreword. Named after the Monaco F1 Grand Prix, the relatively rare original models were only produced until the mid-’70s with various improvements to the movement. However, the Monaco was relaunched in 1998 under then new owners TAG who had acquired Heuer in 1985. Since then, its iconic case and calibre have been reinvented numerous times. On all new Monaco Calibre 11 models, rectangular pushers replace the original’s rounded pushers.

the future

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he wave of ’80s and ’90s nostalgia is also pushing up the prices and cool factor of cars from that era. Forget predictable pin-ups like the Ferrari Testarossa or the Lamborghini Countach, it’s the fun and reliable European coupés and hot hatches, and Japanese classics leading the charge. Japan is in the spotlight in the lead-up to the 2019 Rugby World Cup in September and with Tokyo hosting next year’s Summer Olympics. For anyone interested in all forms of high performance, there are some notable highlights this year from this nation of perfectionists. Apart from the long-awaited Toyota Supra MKV, there are significant celebrations for Nissan and Seiko. Among the Japanese classics, the much-loved Datsun 240Z (S30) is celebrating its 50th anniversary. Described by journalists at the time of its launch as “the most exciting car of the decade”, its 2.4-litre straight six engine, elegant lines, light construction, agile handling, and competitive pricing made it an instant hit. Five decades on, the Z cars continue to offer accessible thrills to owners young and old. That same year, Seiko established two industry milestones: one of them for its Calibre 6139 automatic chronograph — one of the first to market along with the Heuer Calibre 11 — the other was the Astron 35SQ, the first quartz wristwatch in the world. The company reportedly sold 100 gold models of the Astron in a week for R54 000 each, the price of a mid-sized car. The Astron was accurate to 0.2 seconds a day, five seconds a month, or one minute a year, and was to be the first of many to embrace the new technology. The Nissan GT-R is one of the most iconic performance cars of our time with a heritage stretching back to the Skyline 2000 GT-R launched in 1969. This year marks the 50th anniversary of “Godzilla, the monster from Japan”, the legendary destroyer of drag strips and race circuits. The third generation R32 was the first to drop the Skyline badge in the ’80s but the R34 is arguably the most legendary of them all, helped by all-star appearances in video games and as the preferred ride of actor Paul Walker aka Brian O’Conner in The Fast and the Furious franchise. The spirit of the GT-R is best described as “Japanese innovation and obsession over detail meet PlayStation”, and is perfectly captured in the Grand Seiko Nissan GT-R 50th Anniversary Limited Edition (SBGC229) featuring a Spring Drive Chronograph GMT 9R96 driving system in a ceramic and lightweight high-intensity titanium case. Spring drive technology is the watch world’s equivalent of a hybrid car and is a high-end mechanical movement with one-second-a-day accuracy, achieved by introducing the benefits of quartz to a mechanical timepiece. By replacing the escapement with a “tri-synchro regulator” Grand Seiko created an automatic, almost completely mechanical movement with extreme accuracy. The design pays homage to the racecar version of the Skyline 2000 GT-R in “Bayside Blue”, expressed in the ceramic outer case, while the distinctive white stripe of the Nissan racing livery is reflected in the white crocodile strap and the silver-white dial. The automatic calibre has a power reserve of 72 hours, accuracy of approximately 0.5 seconds per day, and water resistance of 10 bar. Limited to 200 pieces, it retails for around R350 000 each, subject to availability.

ROLE X 011 78 4 9 2 3 0 S EIKO S E I KO B O U T I Q U E . CO. Z A TAG H EU ER B O U T IQ U E 0 1 1 7 8 4 7 4 2 2 T HE S WATC H GRO U P 011 911 1200 TU DO R 011 784 9230



street style

PHOTOGRAPHY MATTHEW SPERZEL/NURPHOTO/GETTY IMAGES AND SUPPLIED

COMPI LE D BY Sahi l Hari lal

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DIESEL SUNGLASSES, R3 199, MOSCON OPTICS

SHORTS, R399, WOOLWORTHS

J A C K E T, R2 999, LEVI’S

BOOTS, R4 099, DIESEL

T- S H I R T, R399, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND

R A Y- B A N SUNGLASSES, R2 390, LUXOTTICA

SNEAKERS, R13 000, DOLCE & GABBANA

NIKE SHORTS, R660, SPORTSMANS WAREHOUSE

BLAZER, R4 290, ANTONY MORATO

TROUSERS, R699, TRENERY

S H I R T, R999, POLO

SNEAKERS, R1 580, TED BAKER

Neutral Ground

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Pristine milk and ivory white separates are the perfect canvas for delectable pops of blush, rust hues, and eye-catching prints O R THESE 1

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BLAZER, R4 290, ANTONY MORATO

TROUSERS, R1 650, PRINGLE OF SCOTLAND

SNEAKERS, R5 499, DIESEL

S H I R T, R1 900, TED BAKER

J A C K E T, R1 899, POLO

SHORTS, R230, W OOLW ORT H S

SNEAKERS, R3 999, LE COQ SPORTIF

G O L F S H I R T, R799, POLO

S H I R T, R899, POLO

SNEAKERS, R575, TRUWORTHS MAN

DIESEL SUNGLASSES, R3 199, MOSCON OPTICS

TROUSERS, R899, POLO

ANTO N Y MORATO 011 883 3637 DI E SE L 0 1 1 7 8 3 0 8 8 2 D O LC E & GA B B A N A 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 8 0 8 L E CO Q S P O RT IF 0 1 1 7 8 4 6334 LE V I ’S 011 784 9187 LU XOTTI C A 011 805 5682 M O S CO N O P TI C S 011 483 8001 POLO 011 883 6126 P RI NG LE OF SCOTLA ND 0 1 1 4 4 4 2 2 7 0 S P O RT S M A N S WA R EH O U S E S P O RT S M A N S WA R E H O U S E . CO. Z A T ED BAKE R 011 883 3803 TRE N E RY WOOLWORT HS. CO. ZA TRU WO RTHS M AN T R UWORT HS. CO. ZA W O O LW O RT H S W O O LW O RT H S . CO. ZA


grooming TE X T Nokubonga T h usi

NEWS The return of sweltering temperatures calls for a total aesthetic overhaul. Trust our ultimate guide to summer grooming to help you put your best foot, face, and body forward Face: As tricky as it was for your skin to adapt to the change from summer to winter, getting it used to warmer weather again will take some work. While winter was all about boosting hydration and soothing sensitivity, summer is all about protecting skin against sun exposure and keeping it balanced. It’s important to shed all that dead, dry skin formed in the colder season and nourish your face with lighter, hydrating moisturisers. Start by using an enzyme-based exfoliator to remove any dead, flaky skin and optimise product absorption. Swap out heavy, oil-rich moisturisers that can cause heat rashes for lightweight or gel-like formulas that will give you a cooling, refreshing feeling without clogging your pores. Applying sunscreen is crucial no matter the season as UV rays are always present, even on a cloudy day. “You need sunscreen 365 days a year, so don’t stop your sunscreen in winter or summer,” says Dr Bradley Wagemaker, medical director of Lamelle. Along with stocking up on a moisturiser with an SPF of at least 30, remember to add an after-sun product to your routine to help soothe skin redness and sensitivity should your skin become over-exposed to the sun.

E XPERT' S CORNER : SPF 101

Why should men make wearing sunscreen a top skin priority? The Centre for Disease Control has shown that the incidence of skin cancer — specifically melanoma, the most lethal type of skin cancer — has increased in most populations across the world. In all cases, the increase is higher in the male population. In some countries, the incidence is more than double in men than in women. This trend is linked directly to the fact that men feel they do not need to protect their skin from the sun. Many men will only apply sunscreen when they are planning on spending extended time outdoors. They also tend to then only apply sunscreen to exposed skin and do not think to reapply later on during the time of sun exposure. What types of sunscreens are available on the market and when should you apply each one? Generally speaking, sunscreens are classified into “chemical” or “non-chemical” ingredients. This distinction is more academic than practical and should not necessarily be a criterion for sunscreen selection. Provided that sunscreen has been suitably evaluated by an authorised laboratory with an appropriate SPF rating for the intended application, the type is not really relevant. Rather choose a sunscreen base that feels good for your skin and just wear it daily. What qualities should men look for when shopping for a good sunscreen? For daily use, you need a sunscreen with an SPF30 at least, while for outdoor use, you would need a higher SPF — we suggest 50+. If you are going to be active (sweating) or in water, you will need a water-resistant product. What are your tips for making sun protection easier, especially for men who don’t like lengthy skin care routines? Find a sunscreen with a moisturising effect so you can use one cream every morning. You should also look for a product that can deliver multiple effects, not just sunscreen. As an example, Lamelle Helase 50 is a product that not only protects your skin from the UVA and UVB spectrums of the sun, but also protects from the harmful effects of all the frequencies that reach us. This means that one product protects from sun, corrects DNA damage, and inhibits ageing of the skin. What are some common misconceptions around sun protection? 1. Tanned skin is healthy. False: we know that tanning increases the risk of skin cancer exponentially. 2. If you go brown and not red, your skin is better protected. False: skin cancer is colour1. blind. Naturally darker skin will age better but the risk for skin cancer is as high in light and dark skins. 3. You need to be fully exposed to sun to make vitamin D. False: you only need to expose your forearms, chest and face for 10-15 minutes three times a week to have enough vitamin D. 4. You only need to apply sunscreen when you are taking part in outdoor activities. False: in our environment, we are even exposed to sun in our offices if they have windows. Apply sunscreen daily. 5. You need not re-apply sunscreen. False: sunscreens work by absorbing light energy and converting it to other forms of 1. LA ROCHE-POSAY energy. So sunscreens have ANTHELIOS SHAKA TINTED FLUID SPF50+, a definite time limit to their 50ML, R270 protection effect as molecules 2. DERMALOGICA get destroyed in the process. PROTECTION 50 SPORT This is the reason most sunSPF50, 150ML, R649 screens will suggest reappli3. LAMELLE HELASE 50 P H OTO - R E PA I R C R E A M , cation every two to three hours 50ML, R525 when sun exposed. 4.EUCERIN OIL CONTROL

PHOTOGRAPHY ROSDIANA CIARAVOLO/GETTY IMAGES AND SUPPLIED

Body: Since summer is the time to show some skin, prepare your body by shedding all that winter dryness. Exfoliate with a salt scrub that will gently slough off any dry or rough patches and assist in the smooth application of body products or self-tans. Enhance your skin tone and show off muscle definition by using a self-tan to bronze up pale, winterstricken skin. If you have a darker skin tone and just want it to look healthier and brighter, try mixing a small amount of tan enhancer or body bronzer into your body lotion for an extra boost before a beach or pool day. Getting rid of any unwanted body hair not only emphasises the body’s contours, but also prevents feeling uncomfortably hot on humid days. Invest in a good pair of wireless clippers or a body groomer that will allow for quick hair removal, minimise nicks, and can easily be packed in a beach bag or gym tote for on-the-go grooming.

Hands & Feet: Summer is synonymous with beach days, comfortable sandals, and fun in the sun — so make sure your hands and feet are ready to play their part. Ensure that your fingernails and toenails are kept well groomed and moisturised with nourishing hand and foot creams. Though you can maintain your hands and feet at home, never underestimate the power of a professional manicure and pedicure to fast-track you into beachready territory. Try treatments such as the Sorbet Man ManliCure Power (R200) or Sole-Man Pedicure Power (R260) that both include a soak, exfoliation, massage and clipping, buffing, and filing of nails for smooth and refined hands and feet.

BEAT THE HEAT

Hair: Before you let your hair down, make sure every strand is properly protected against damage from the sun and sea by spritzing on a sun protection spray. “Just like your skin, your hair can burn and become damaged in the sun, with UVB radiation breaking down hair proteins and UVA radiation being responsible for colour changes. Together, they cause dulling, split ends, and breakage,” says celebrity hairstylist and Glamit ambassador Saadique Ryklief. He suggests adding a sun protection product to your summer arsenal to shield your hair before and after swimming. It helps protect against sunburn on your scalp and prevents hair breaking and colour fading due to chlorine. And it can save you money in the long run. “The sun is even more detrimental to colour-treated hair as chemical colour pigments lift up faster in the sun than natural colour pigments do. If you spend time in the sun regularly or expose your hair to it for prolonged periods of time, you could end up spending more money to keep dyeing it,” adds Ryklief.

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1. DERMALOGICA AGE B R I G H T S P OT FA D E R , 15ML, R849 2. NIVEA SUN AFTER SUN MOISTURE MOISTURISING SOOTHING S P R A Y, 2 0 0 M L , R 9 0 3.BALMAIN HAIR COUTURE S U N P R O T E C T I O N S P R A Y, 200ML, R525 4. VITA LIBERATA BODY BLUR, 30ML, R1 130 5. INSTINCTIVE BY NATURE COCONUT TANNING + BODY OIL, 130ML, R250 6.CLARINS M E N A N T I - FAT I G U E E Y E SERUM, 20ML, R370 7. ELIZABETH ARDEN G R E AT 8 E I G H T H O U R DA I LY DEFENSE MOISTURIZER, 45ML, R425

Ta k e not e of Dr B r a d ley W a g ema k er ’ s sun p r ot ect ion a d v ice bef or e you h ea d out d oor s t h is summer

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ED'S PICKS

S U N G E L- C R E A M D R Y TO U C H , SPF 50+ 50ML, R 240 5. EAU THERMALE AVÈNE BODY SPRAY S P F 5 0 + WAT E R R E S I S TA N T, 200ML, R296

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From nuanced citrus scents to gender-fluid modern reinterpretations, there’s a new breed of male frag rance challenging the status quo

Taking Notes

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If you have known the Light Blue scent for as long as we have, don’t expect the initial zesty burst of bergamot that you’re used to. This update on the classic comes with an air of warmth as Italian bergamot and grapefruit are combined with aromatic notes of ginger, rosemary, vetiver, and vanilla for an instant teleport to the salty, sun-soaked shores of the Amalfi coast. Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue Sun Pour Homme, EDT, 100ml, R1 615

When it comes to Yardley’s English Blazer fragrance collection, we only have eyes for English Blazer Gold. The woody, oriental scent opens up with fresh, zesty mandarin and grapefruit that are given an aromatic quality with nutmeg and cinnamon at the heart. The base of cedarwood, vetiver, and vanilla rounds off this scent, giving it a subtle, woody texture as it settles on the skin. English Blazer Gold EDP, 100ml, R380

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From the ’80s to today, the evolution of men’s frag rance has g reatly contributed to masculinity and how men are perceived, writes Tyrone Arendse

You would be hard pressed to find a fragrance that smells as unique (or is as worth the splurge) as this scent. The citrus top notes of bergamot, oil of orange and grapefruit are softened and balanced by the addition of vanilla and red tea accord that come creeping in from the heart and base of this fresh oriental. Memo Winter Palace EDP, 75ml, R4 515, available at Skins Cosmetics

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he year 1984 was a great time to be alive (bar the whole apartheid, people oppression thing) with hits by Prince and Tina Turner ruling the airwaves and the titular characters in shows like Magnum PI and Knight Rider slowly redefining the look and style of the modern, cool man. It also saw the achievement of a significant milestone in my own life: my first communion. While many Christians are aware of the gravity of this occasion which marks a child’s first reception of the Sacrament of the Eucharist, the occasion stands out for me for a totally different reason. It was the first time I remember getting dressed up for a special occasion. Though I wore the very traditional all-white outfit, what made it extra special was that my mother dosed the ensemble with my father’s signature fragrance, and it was within that cloud of Aramis that I came to develop a love and deep appreciation for cologne. The fragrances of my youth were all characterised by the same attributes: men’s scents were all traditional “masculine” smells like tobacco, musk, leather, and wood, and steered clear of anything too “spicy” or “sweet”. This was the age of brands like Drakkar Noir, Kouros and Paco Rabanne — with special mention to the fragrance that permeated a thousand matric dances in the ’80s, Dior’s Fahrenheit. The ’90s brought with them an embrace of more non-traditional fragrances and saw the rise of a new, more androgynous aesthetic and scent. Few around at the time wouldn’t remember the shockwaves caused by the launch of Calvin Klein’s CK One, a fragrance that posited the outrageous notion that men and women could wear the same fragrance. The last two decades have seen a remarkable expansion in what constitutes a “masculine” scent. Ingredients that were once purely the domain of women have crept into the lexicon of men’s perfumery, resulting in a new world where sweet-smelling florals wafting through a gym changeroom suddenly seem quite acceptable. Men’s tastes have also become far more nuanced, with them adopting different fragrances appropriate for their dress, time of day, and changing environments. We’ve also seen brands like Tom Ford Private Blend collection and Armani establishing suites of fragrances where the customer gets to create his own fragrance via a mini scent laboratory of base scents. While the breadth of the selection available to the modern man may be daunting to some, one cannot underestimate the allure of finding that special fragrance that works with your own body chemistry. Clothing and grooming trends may change, but scent is a primal and lasting signifier. So men should be encouraged to seek out a fragrance that enhances that personal brand.

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Whether heading out for a day by the ocean or taking it easy at home, this is the perfect scent to complement lazy summer days. It’s grounded by the woody characteristics at its base while citrus fruits take the lead at the opening with notes of lemon, sweet orange and Calabrian bergamot developing into floral heart notes of lavender, Bulgarian rose, verbena and rosemary. Acqua Di Parma Colonia Eau De Cologne, 180ml, R2 515

Signature scent

Nostalgic reinterpretation

Ingredient crossover

Fragrance as an area of grooming has shot to the top of most men’s list of essentials and has led to their becoming avid collectors of specific brands. Whether powered by the images of popular male personalities, designers, or women’s olfactory preferences, these are the current trends to know on the quest to finding your signature scent:

A budding trend in fragrances sees brands looking to the past to court a younger market as well as retain older, loyal consumers by updating iconic scents for the current fragrance landscape. Brands such as Hugo Boss and Chanel are adding unconventional ingredients such as vanilla or lavender to stand out, while also using younger male celebrities such as actors Chris Hemsworth (Hugo Boss) and Gaspard Ulliel (Chanel), and Brazilian football star Neymar Jr (Diesel), each seen as the ultimate man’s man, to bring a new energy to iconic fragrance formulas.

Along with the update of classic scents with modern interpretations, the ingredients used in male scents are becoming intriguing. Notes traditionally used in female fragrances such as lavender, rose, violet, and pineapple are being increasingly found in the olfactory juices of male brands. This lends them to the general societal movement towards more gender fluidity and unisex items that resonate with both men and women.


YOU’LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

BALLITO | BEDFORDVIEW | BROOKLYN | DURBANVILLE | FOURWAYS | GREEN POINT | KNYSNA | KRAMERVILLE | NELSPRUIT | PORT ELIZABETH | SANDTON CITY | UMHLANGA


Take your cue from the free-spirit style of cool, alternative subcultures. Break the rules your way by mixing and matching staple pieces with standout prints and eclectic embellishments

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CULTURE CLASH


fashion

PR ODUCTI ON Sharon Armstrong

PH OTOGR APH Y Zander Opperman

1 . S H I RT, R4 4 5 0 ; T R OU S E R S , R3 8 9 5 , B OT H PAU L SMI TH ; H AT, R 1 0 5 0 THE R E A L C R Y STA L BIRCH; CARRERA AUTO CH R ON O B L AC K WATC H , R 9 5 0 0 0 , TAG H E U E R ; B OOT S , R4 899, DIESEL

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2 . J U ST C AVA L L I SH I RT, R 1 0 2 4 9 , A L C A P ON E ; FE D OR A , R 1 0 9 3 , S I M ON & M A R Y 3 . BOMBER JACKET, R100 000, LOUIS VUITTON; HAT, R980, THE REAL CRYSTAL BIRCH

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A L CA P ONE 011 326 7573 DI E SE L 0 1 1 7 8 3 0 8 8 2 ER M EN EGIL D O ZEGN A 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 7 6 7 GU CC I 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 9 2 8 LOU I S V U I TTO N LOUI SVUI T TON . COM PAU L S M I TH 011 883 3709 P I COT & M O S S 011 669 0500 P RADA 0 1 1 3 2 6 7 5 1 7 S IM O N & M A R Y S I M O N A N D M A R Y. CO. Z A TAG H EU ER 0 1 1 7 84 7422 THE RE AL C RY STAL BI RC H T HE R E ALCR Y STALBI R CH. COM

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4 . S H I RT, R7 830 E RM E NE G I L D O Z E G NA; C ARRE RA C AL I B RE H E U E R 02 WATC H , R85 000, TAG H E U E R 5 . T-S H I RT, R7 450; S H I RT, R18 050; S H O RT S , R11 650; S U NG L AS S E S , R4 150; NE C KL AC E , R14 450; B AC KPAC K, R24 450; SNEAKERS, R16 800, AL L P RADA; V I C TO RI NOX S WI S S ARM Y I . N. O. X . C ARB O N FI RE FI G H T E RS WATC H , R16 495, P I COT & M O S S

PHOTOGRAPHY ZANDER OPPERMAN/LAMPOST PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT CHRISTO FABER GROOMING LESLEY WHITBY/LAMPOST MODEL ERIC GELDENHUYS/BOSS JUNIOR FASHION EDITOR SAHIL HARILAL FASHION INTERN NOMBUSO KUMALO

6 . KNI T J E RS E Y, R3 799; B O M B E R JAC KE T, R5 999; J E ANS , R5 999; B O OT S , R4 899, AL L D I E S E L 7. KNI T B O M B E R JAC KE T, R26 800; S H O RT S , R17 000; S U NG L AS S E S , R12 770, AL L G U CC I

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tailoring

TE X T Nombuso Kum al o

PH OTOG RAP H A ar t Verrips

BY NUMBERS

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On matching your shoes to your belt… It’s always a safe bet to keep your shoes and belt matched. If you’re wearing a suit, try not to wear a belt as it breaks up the silhouette of the suit. If you must wear a belt, keep it in the same tone as your suit. On bespoke suits vs ready-to-wear suits… A ready-to-wear suit is generic, cut according to the brand’s style and sizing. If your body type fits the style and size, you have the advantage of the immediacy of ready-to-wear. With bespoke tailoring, you have a personalised experience and an impeccable fit you would probably never get in storebought suits. You’re spoilt for choice! ON THE ULTIMATE SUITING NO NO… Too-short jackets are unsightly — jackets should always cover the seat. ON (UN)NECESSARY ACCESSORIES, LIKE BRACELETS AND CHAINS… Keep it simple. Unless you are a rock star, calm down with the accessories. On relaxed tailoring… Fashion is moving towards a calmer and more fluid aesthetic. We are seeing softer and more generously proportioned garments. But as with everything, you have to take the trend and tailor it to you. The Neapolitan aesthetic — unstructured shoulders

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with unlined jackets and strong linen blends — is an easy introduction to this trend. ON LINEN SUITS… There is nothing wrong with owning a beautiful linen suit — long gone are the days of the outdated linen suits we used to see on Miami Vice. New weaving methods and unique fabric blends have given linen suits a welcome update. On wearing a suit with a sash… This is particular to a designer’s aesthetic. It is a trend within a trend. I don’t particularly see Row-G making any custom sashed suits this season but there are no rules in fashion — only guidelines, and they are constantly changing. ON GOING SHIRTLESS UNDERNEATH… Sexy! But not for the sartorially faint-hearted, and definitely not for the boardroom. ON WEARING WIDE-LEG TROUSERS… A wide-leg silhouette is great, but always keep your body type in mind. On soft suiting in macaron hues (sky blue, lemon, cerulean and lilac)… Soft hues are gorgeous and reflective of the movement towards more relaxed dressing. We are facing very tough challenges in the world — we want to feel softer things.

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Rahim Rawjee of exclusive men’s fashion label Row-G

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HOW TO WEAR

The Row-G Guide to navigating men’s tailoring

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ver 40 years of dogged art making that has bled from the drawing board into the opera auditorium and onto the tapestry loom, among other places, William Kentridge has redefined what South African art means. But he has not done it alone. Arguably, one of his strongest skills is not to be found on a sheet of paper or a printing press. It’s not even there in his opera acumen. It’s in his ability to collaborate. Africa’s biggest exhibition of Kentridge’s work in a decade graces Cape Town from this month until next March. It will show hundreds of drawings, films, tapestries, sculptures, and installations. But its focus is also on what other creative people bring to the table. South African composer Philip Miller celebrates 25 years of collaboration with Kentridge in this exhibition. Miller was a 28-year-old based in Yeoville when he got the phone call that would change the focus of his career. “It was about 1993,” he says. “I didn’t know anything about William at the time. I had made music for a documentary by Angus Gibson about Soweto. William was a friend of Angus. He heard the music and contacted me.” Kentridge was working at the time on his Soho Eckstein stop-frame animations, part of his Drawings for Projection series. The work comprised thousands of drawings made in charcoal on rough-toothed paper. The images had been drawn and erased and painstakingly filmed, one frame at a time. By the time Kentridge called Miller, he had cut the fifth film in the series Felix in Exile to the slow movement of one of 19th-century Czech composer Antonín Dvořák’s string quartets. “But then he called me,” recounts Miller, “and he said, ‘Why don’t you try something else?’”. “The weight of this beautiful piece of music was sitting above me as I sat at my piano with the tape of Felix in Exile, playing with ideas, rewinding, fast-forwarding. I wrote a string quartet and he liked it! Going head to head with Dvořák under instruction from Kentridge was my first lesson. “It was a strange time in the trajectory of my career, and possibly the best moment for me to change direction,” he remembers. “I had studied classical music at university and had written music from an early age. I’d jumped into law before I had gone back to music. I needed to take another path, one which made me perhaps

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On wearing mandals (man sandals) with a suit… It depends on how they are worn. Pair them with cropped trousers or a pair of short trousers — just make sure you’ve had a pedicure.

On wearing a satin suit (and other reflective fabrics )… Don’t be afraid of shine, even though it has a bad reputation for being tacky. Be pragmatic and remember to choose the right occasion. On cinching the waist… Best advised to stay away from it. Bespoke tailoring tends to stay away from trends. On how to spezzato a suit correctly… Create a mismatched, casual look by splitting up your suits — take a jacket and trousers from two different looks that complement each other to form a new one. To do this well, consider colour and fabric and avoid breaking up formal suits. On a wearing a tuxedo… Normally worn when attending a gala, banquet, or wedding and where there are pictures involved. You need to ensure you always look impeccable, with minimal creasing. Choose a fabric that has a lower thread count and is more structured and firm — like mohair or high-twist yarn that bounces back. Keep it simple and classic. On how to be the perfect gentleman… This comes with reverence for life. It comes with confidence and honesty coupled with compassion. It is also always looking your best.

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T R I O O PU S 1 0 0 NO. 2 (T H E F I RST M OV E M E NT )

Composer Philip Miller reflects on his work and friendship with William Kentridge

The exquisite, heartbreaking melody line of the cello (my favourite instrument) being passed over to the piano, which literally trickles over the formal, sparse repeated chord accompaniment — it is sublime!

17 ½ hours The duration of footage that will be on display at the exhibition.

2001 The year his film Shadow Procession was shown in Times Square, New York.

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R6.6 million The highest recorded price fetched by his artwork, Drawing From Stereoscope, at auction.

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A NEW LANGUAGE a little more sanguine to do things like this because I wasn’t held back by the sheer force of Dvořák. Of course I knew who he was, but I thought, ‘I’m just going to jump into the deep end and see what happens’, and with Dvořák as competition, I was inspired.” Over the years, conversation between Kentridge and Miller has matured. “There is a dialogue, a give and take, a sense of play. That porous moment of honest sharing became very important for me. No longer was I thinking about writing music as writing down notes, motifs, and developing themes through composition techniques taught at music school. I threw that away and worked with the sound, whether it was a person clapping or the timbre of an instrument, and in doing so I realised that the sound itself was a much more amazing way to start making and improvising and working with ideas.” Miller considers this project, which involves two giants of Cape Town art, Zeitz Mocaa and the Norval Foundation, to be vital. “Together,

As a teenager, my sister Danni used to play it with her girlfriends. I was actually 15 years old but I still identified with the song’s protagonist, the 17-yearold girl who stays at home on a Saturday night with no dates. I was bullied at school so this song spoke to me about being the outsider, the non-conformist.

T E XT Nom b uso Kum al o

Animated films in the Soho Eckstein Saga produced by Kentridge.

Composing

AT S EV EN TEEN

Why Should I Hesitate: Putting Drawings to Work is at Zeitz Mocaa. Why Should I Hesitate: Sculpture is at the Norval Foundation. Both run from 25 August 2019 to 23 March 2020

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TE X T Roby n Sassen

Janis Ian

Anne McIlleron, manager of the William Kentridge Studio, gives us a by-the-numbers retrospective into the work of the famed artist.

African recipient of the Kyoto Prize in Arts and Philosophy.

INTERVIEW

the work reflects on an intuitive language we’ve developed. It has become a conversation between two artists journeying together. It’s about allowing ideas to collide and appreciating how they spark new ideas,” he says. In the past fewyears, Kentridge has conducted public conversations with other creative people such as writer Denis Hirson and artist Sam Nhlengethwa. They make for entertaining listening. But the conversations between Kentridge and Miller are not marketable to a mainstream audience. “In collaborating with Kentridge, I have developed a grammar that makes me understand what my sound is doing to Kentridge’s image. In this kind of give and take, there has to be alchemy. You’ve got to fall a bit in love with each other. It’s a safe place to bounce ideas, and it’s about trust. At times it is like working in a pressure cooker. It’s about being in William’s head and it’s about the ‘grabbing’ moment: Kentridge doesn’t know how a project will look when it is finished, but he knows what he doesn’t want.”

Modest Mussorgsky

PICTURES AT AN EXHIBITION

My dad bought me the vinyl record for my birthday. I then watched it performed live by the Cape Town Philharmonic Orchestra. The way Mussorgsky orchestrated each theme for the paintings made me realise the power of music to create images in your head. It sparked my love of composing music for film.

The total number of drawings he used to produce his eight-minute animated film, Stereoscope.

11 metres The height of Kentridge’s sculpture entitled Fire Walker in Johannesburg’s central business district.

1989 The year in which he made his first animated film, Johannesburg, 2nd Greatest City after Paris.

350 The number of art pieces that had to be hung, placed, and installed for the exhibition.

PHILIP MILLER ON HIS TOP FIVE MUSICAL MUSES

Franz Schubert

William Kentridge

Nina Simone

Steve Reich

Her interpretation of this song by composer Jacques Brel taught me about how a song can be completely transformed by another artist and made their own. This power of the voice — its timbre, personality, mutability, and expression — has guided me when I collaborate with singers in my own work.

I first heard this piece performed in a small experimental music venue in London. His composition for string quartet and tape — using archival recordings of Holocaust survivors’ testimonies — opened up the world of integrating the recorded spoken word into a music composition in an organic way and was the inspiration for REwind: a Cantata for Voice, Tape and Testimony.

NE ME Q U I TTE PA S

DI FFERENT TRA I NS


wine routes

TE X T M i chael F ri djhon

I LLUSTR ATI ON R i chard Becker

Michael Fridjhon selects his favourite stops along the Cape wine routes, suitable for bakkies and Bentleys alike

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he road forks just as you leave the Waterfront. The smart traffic, in smart cars, veers right, towards the east, following the N2. This option works even for those who are nervous about moving away from the comfort of the urban environment. They simply turn right again, just as the highway passes Groote Schuur and the Rhodes Memorial, following the road south, to make the upmarket suburb of Constantia their destination. Not so long ago, when Sandton was peri-urban and the property owners there prided themselves on their dirt roads and the absence of street lights, they wore as a badge of honour the moniker “mink and manure”, used by the less horsey citizens of Johannesburg to describe them. They disappeared long ago under the weight of urban creep and a few die-hards emerged from the wreckage and made their way to Constantia, the last outpost on the continent where the pets their owners most resemble are horses, and people still dress for dinner. The rules are simple enough: the houses should be old and gabled, the vineyards better manicured than the gardens of Villandry, and the wineries should resemble the control room at Cape Canaveral. Those who stay on the N2 continue via Baden Powell Drive to Stellenbosch or edge a little further towards the coast and descend on Somerset West. Both destinations deliver a slightly more rural version of Constantia’s grand provincial living — less mink and more manure — but the deal is pretty much the same: the same Cape Dutch houses which adorn the coffee-table books produced by Graham Viney and Alain Proust, the same rolling vineyards, the same atmospheric yet functional wineries, the same fine-dining restaurants, the same collections and collectables.

This is the Bentley rather than bakkie route to wine appreciation, the smooth and easy drive to bucket-loads of vinous pleasure. Here, the most famous wines are celebrated, for their plushness and opulence, their tannins thick as a carpet, the way they glide over your palate like a coating of Q20, their rough edges left far behind in the dark ages of another era, when life was mean and brutish and short. If, however, you turn left as you exit the Waterfront, you make your way past the seacontainers piled high alongside the railway tracks, the warehouses and cranes of Paarden Island. Following the N1 onto the N7, your path tracks north and westwards. Here, the terrain quickly becomes more rough-andtumble than green-and-lush, as the westerly wind leaves for dead all but the hardiest plants, all but the most agile of beasts. The road is narrower, the landscape more obviously ungenerous and bleak. There’s a bit of an illusion here, as if the hard edge of the drier, stonier soils were ill-suited to the more

THE FORK IN THE ROAD

bourgeois world of wine. However, it’s worth persevering: sweet water may be scarce and the groundwater a little brackish, but the vines that do well here produce wines of haunting intensity. They are not plush — in fact, if anything, they are sometimes a little rustic. But what they lack in polish they make up for in personality. They come from places with names like Voor-Paardeberg, Riebeek Kasteel, Piekenierskloof and Piketberg. This is the Wild West of the Cape winelands, and most reckon there’s no place where those who turned left as they exited the Waterfront can ever meet up with those who turned right. Generally they’re correct, but sometimes — when the winter rains have fallen and the wheat lands between the Obiqua Mountains, the Witzenberg Valley and the Winterhoek Wilderness are seductively green — you can arrive in Tulbagh, with its white-washed walls and thatched roofs, and find, parked along Church Street and at the cellars surrounding the town, almost as many Bentleys as bakkies.

WHERE THE TWO HALVES MEET Tulbagh The town that took the name of governor Ryk Tulbagh appears stuck in a time warp. It was so isolated that the townsfolk hardly left it, but most of those who did never came back. Situated in a basin surrounded by massive mountains and ancient yellowwood forests, it was like a tarnished ring left in the bottom of a trousseau trunk. Then, in 1969, an earthquake reduced the buildings along Church Street to a pile of rubble. The National Monuments Council threw itself into the restoration of the town centre with such enthusiasm that today Tulbagh boasts the largest number of Cape Dutch, Victorian, and Edwardian provincial heritage sites in one street in South Africa. It is also home to the Krone wine estate, the country’s largest producer of Méthode Cap Classique sparkling wine. You are as likely to see a bakkie as a Bentley parked at the entrance to the estate. Those seeking refreshment before wandering around will probably sip on the Krone Borealis Brut or the Night Nectar. Those who have stopped for a moment of reflection will hope for a glass of the Krone Kaaimansgat Blanc de Blancs 2016. It is the meeting point where the road that forked at the Waterfront comes together again: as luxury a product as you might find at the top of Helshoogte, and as crafted a wine as you might come across on the road to Malmesbury.

THE BAKKIE BLAST Riebeek Kasteel Almost ten years ago, the fiercely independent wine producers of the Swartland started an (almost) annual weekend shindig which has come to be known as the Swartland Revolution. The date is always in November, when parts of the Swartland look remarkably like a location for a remake of High Noon. When the revolution’s in full swing, there are no Bentleys in the parking lot of the Royal Hotel in Riebeek Kasteel. It’s doubtful one has ever been seen outside Boudoir Santa Cecilia, where even the bakkie brigade would have to consider the reputational risk before pulling up at the curb. The Café Felix has seen its fair share of double-cabs, so too has La Montagne B&B, while the Kasteelberg Country Inn would only draw a line if the bakkies were taking up space reserved for the bikers.

THE BENTLEY BREAKAWAY Helshoogte, Stellenbosch If you are looking for the nexus of beauty and opulence — where Table Mountain fills the distant horizon and the massive peaks of the Simonsberg loom overhead, where the views are postcard-perfect from sunrise to sunset, weather-worn in winter, and sun-drenched in summer — you need to go through the Helshoogte Pass. Here, you can stay at the Owner’s Villa on Delaire Graff for R380 000 per night and dine, surrounded by Kentridges and Tretchikoffs, at the estate’s main restaurant. Across the road at Tokara, expect to pay over R4K a bottle for the Telos, a Bordeaux blend presented in a piano-wood box reminiscent of the dashboard of a vintage car and lined in the same suede used for its interior. You don’t get more Bentley than that.

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pursuits

TE X T Thomas Falkiner

I LLUSTR ATI ON S R i chard Becker

MOTORING

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GOING OFF SCRIPT T EXT Dram T h e Man

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Stewart Buchanan travels the world, sharing g lasses of The Glendronach with anyone who’s keen to hear his wonderful whisky tales single cask — a whisky as bank-breaking as private-school education — was one of my drams of the evening. At both these events Buchanan was warm, generous, and genuinely funny, his character perfectly paired with the distillery he champions. His adventurous tales, defined by the same pioneering spirit that drove The GlenDronach to kick-start sherry maturation back in 1826, mix odd anecdotes with historic knowledge. He’s believable and credible, and not just due to his thick Scottish accent and unusual tartan. This seems obvious, it’s his job. But maybe I’m too used to the pretty-faced ambassadors that crop up at these tastings, dutifully reciting scripts, mispronouncing distillery names and making tenuous, but oh-soobvious links between the brands they represent and the markets they target. Buchanan is the antithesis of this. He goes from playfully chastising “stupid” Oloroso casks and their erratic ways to explaining how the whims and wishes of 19th-century landowners influenced today’s whisky landscape. I question him further, keen to know how much he is told to say. “I don’t just talk brand, brand, brand,” he explains. “I want to give a personal picture of what I feel about whisky.” Given that Brown-Forman — a global giant in the spirits and wine world — pays his salary, it’s refreshing that he’s trusted to veer into more individualised territory. This is likely because Buchanan got his whisky education on the ground, not from a fact sheet. In 1992 he replaced a suspended worker at Tobermory Distillery on the Isle of Mull, while taking a break from his job at the time: installing power lines all over Scotland. He was only supposed to stay for six months, but was soon intrigued by the whisky-making process, hypnotised by the light refracting off bubbles during fermentation, and seduced by the sweet science of distillation. He had found his happy place and since then, aged just 22, has never had to apply for another job. Buchanan has worked the stills, rejuvenated old distilleries, trained bartenders, analysed casks, created tasting notes, and hosts so many events across the globe that he’s in his own bed for roughly 20 nights a year. When Buchanan retells The GlenDronach’s story — and to a lesser degree those of BenRiach and Glenglassaugh, the two other distilleries in the stable — he often cites design and circumstance, two conflicting forces that somehow embolden each other in the world of whisky. In taking this approach, he may well be describing his own narrative. After inadvertently finding himself in the right place, in exactly the right circumstances, whisky became a vocation. And once he’d mastered its various arts, he put his own stamp on it, designing a personalised way to share what he had learnt, win more fans, and spread the love. Completely unscripted.

Thomas Falkiner gets his kick s on the R316, among three other gorgeous stretches of road

GREAT CAPE DRIVES

without resorting to homicidal rage and/ here are many things that I like or violence. This magical place is the Westabout Johannesburg: the jacaranda ern Cape, and in it you will find a plethora trees that bloom purple in November, of sensational driving roads that will quickly moderate winter days, and those loud reinstate your faith in the automobile. While squadrons of hadedas that keep the Parktown prawn population there are many routes to choose from, these in check. Driving, however, is certainly not on the list. Ten years ago are the three I recommend traversing. things might have been different, but today the City of Gold can stick its congested, crumbling road infrastructure where the sun don’t shine — perhaps down one of those scary abandoned mineshafts now inhabited by equally scary zama-zamas. FRA NSCHHOEK TO DU TOITSI’m enthralled with M ON TAGU TO THE N1 VI A CA LEDON TO STA NFORD KLOOF WINES VI A T HE R 4 5, the act of driving — THE R 318: ± 90K M VI A THE R316 A ND R326: R43, A ND R101: ± 95K M always have been — Situated in the Klein Karoo and roughly ± 53.7K M but every hour spent two hours from Cape Town, Montagu Not a hell of a lot happens in Caledon. If you’ve got a bit more time on your hands, give this route a whirl. Leaving behind the steering is a haven for mountain bikers, rock Which is why one tends to get out Franschhoek, you’ll ascend and descend wheel of a car in this climbers, and holidaymakers. It also of it as quickly as possible. And this, the heavenly Franschhoek Pass that town puts the longevhappens to be surrounded by some my friend, is what the R316 is for. remains one of the best driving roads ity of this love affair in terrific driving roads: lonely ribbons of With the town safely in your rearview anyone could hope to travel. At the jeopardy. well-kept asphalt that meander through mirror (you want to be mindful of Fortunately, every now some of the most beautifully stark speed cameras as you escape the “city end of the descent the R45 opens up a bit and you can hoof it to the and again I get to flee countryside South Africa has to offer. limits”), this relatively empty byway sometimes-empty but never-full Theethis concrete wasteThe most obvious one to take is the not only sports a smooth surface but waterskloof Dam. Here, turn left at the land and travel to a R62 heading east towards neighbouring also boasts many high-speed sweeps part of the country Barrydale, which harbours the famous that will test your commitment as well T-junction and proceed calmly (speed traps) until you hit Villiersdorp where where you can still get Diesel & Crème diner so popular with as your car’s dynamic prowess. Follow your vehicular kicks bikers and enthusiasts alike. It’s a route it for roughly 30km and then turn right the R45 turns into the R43. You’ll be worth taking, but if you really want onto the R326 that runs parallel to the able to soak up 50km of kinks, curves, and some temptingly long straights that to be blown away I suggest taking a Klein River and serves up a satisfying will probably bring out the devil in you. quick trip to nowhere on the R318 that collection of curves. There’s even a runs from Montagu central up to the small ascent in the middle of it, a shift Oh, the countryside isn’t half bad either. N1 highway. Roughly 90km long, it’s a in elevation to keep things interesting. You’ll eventually arrive at another remote, often high-speed hustle that’s It’s a short blast to Stanford from here T-junction, where you turn left. Keep going until you hit another T-junction, interjected by the Rooihoogte Pass: a but one that will give you (and your turn right there and keep on hoofing short but surprisingly challenging ascent steely steed) all the right speed feels. it until you arrive at Rawsonville. Look demanding both caution and respect. Car worth taking: You want somefor the signs to the R101, turn left and Traffic is minimal at the best of times thing that’s effortlessly fast, packs a after about 5km you’ll arrive at Du so, when conditions allow, you can lot of mechanical grip, and Toitskloof Wines — also home to the get up to some pretty spirited speeds. can cope with abrupt surface changes. excellent Ou Meul Bakery and Café. Try Just beware the wildlife — I’ve often This is why I’d have to go with the encountered buck, porcupines, and birds new Porsche 992 Carrera S. It will be a their killer burgers and fresh juices. Car worth taking: The Honda Civic of prey. drive to remember. Type R. It’s probably the best frontCar worth taking: The new Toyota wheel-drive hot hatch on the market GR Supra — its strong, straight-line today and will do well up the pass and performance, sharp handling, and on the straights that follow. Stewart Buchanan pliable ride make it the perfect pick.

POLITICS

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anadian R&B hitmaker Deborah Cox highlighted the dire state of SAA last week with a tweet about how a flight she was on had to turn back because of a faulty door and smoke in the cockpit. Cox was returning from a music festival in Ghana, travelling from Johannesburg to Washington via Accra. According to her, the plane door had been damaged by a catering truck in Accra and technicians spent three hours trying to fix it. Passengers were none the wiser. The plane was eventually given the green light to fly but had to return to Accra because of the problematic door, with passengers forced to adopt the brace position on landing. What Cox and her fellow passengers went through mid-air best describes our ailing economy. There’s smoke coming out of its engine and attempts to fix it are not bearing fruit. Those in charge are not taking us, the citizens, into their confidence and we are headed for a crash landing. SAA and other broken state-owned entities (SOEs) are drowning the economy in debt. South Africa’s debt to GDP ratio (how much the country owes in relation to the size of the economy) is under 60%, and predicted to hit 70% if government keeps bailing out our badly run SOEs. Eskom is the biggest risk to South Africa’s sovereign credit rating. The utility is sitting on debt of R450-billion, largely caused by the escalating costs of its construction of coal-fired power stations Medupi and Kusile, which still aren’t functioning. It was also the biggest victim of state capture, losing billions to dodgy consultancy tenders granted to the Gupta family and their corrupt associates. Finance minister Tito Mboweni tabled a special appropriation bill, granting

WHERE THERE’S SMOKE… Our economy is heading for a crash landing, and the captain has relinquished control T E XT C aiph us Kgosana

the power utility an additional R59-billion over the next two years in a bid to keep it going. But ratings agencies have flagged this, and a further R23-billion announced in the state of the nation address as relief for Eskom. The agencies have put South Africa on notice for a possible downgrade to junk status. Moody’s is the only ratings agency that has maintained our credit rating at investment grade, but it too is running out of patience and wants to see urgent economic reforms. What will happen if all the ratings agencies downgrade the country to junk status?

South Africa’s debt has burst the R2-trillion ceiling, and by March we were paying R146-billion in interest costs to service it. Another downgrade would result in a sharp increase in interest payments, directing money that should be going towards basics like roads, hospitals, and electricity supply into the debt black hole. When countries reach that paralytic state, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and the World Bank step in, but not without conditions. The IMF will demand a say in our fiscal policy and dictate which programmes are priority expenditure items and which aren’t. In short, the IMF steps in when the state has failed. You would think this rapidly deteriorating situation would be our political leaders’ biggest priority, but no. They are too busy fighting internecine party battles and undercutting each other at every turn. These legal battles have rendered the country leaderless and directionless. How could ANC leaders be so short-sighted that the only thing preoccupying them at this critical juncture is political point-scoring instead of the survival of the country? Former deputy finance minister Mcebisi Jonas has lamented this in his insightful new book After Dawn: Hope After State Capture. He warns that as the ANC’s support declines at the polls, the party will slide towards a more populist posture, which is detrimental for the country. “This could have serious implications, including entrenching the ANC into a populist trajectory with potentially catastrophic ramifications for South Africa and the region,” warns Jonas. We are at the crossroads; there’s smoke coming out of the cockpit, and the captain is nowhere to be found.

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’m not quite sure how I feel about meeting Stewart Buchanan. He is, after all, a man with a dream job: the globetrotting global brand ambassador for three Scotch distilleries that I really admire. I should be envious, but I’m more curious and probably interviewing myself, searching for a shared something, because maybe... who knows… one day potentially... I, too, could be travelling the world, quaffing drams. But I fail at the first question: what constitution is required for this peculiar calling? “I tell you what, you need to like people,” he smiles, blowing cigarette smoke out over the Parkhurst pavement. It makes sense, but there I was thinking it was all about the nose and those knows, that ability to detect the subtlest of flavours then back this up with encyclopaedic insights. I make a mental note to start liking more people, before abruptly scratching this, unsettled by the enormity of the task. We’re sitting outside Bottega Cafe, where Buchanan has just finished a tasting of The GlenDronach, an intimate version of the one he hosted the night before at the WhiskyBrother Only Whisky Show, where a 1978 31-year-old


food

TE X T M i chelle Cob urn

STYLI N G Sven Alber ding

PH OTOGR APHY Warren He ath

strawberries, you’re not going to end up with a snappy chocolate. You have to bring it to a higher temperature, quickly lower it, then warm it up again so that you can work with it. There are specific temperatures, depending on the amount of bitterness, origin, and type of chocolate you are using.” After expertly tempering the chocolate, Czarnecki pours it into the moulds over the set cocoa-butter shells. After the chocolate has had a chance to set, he pipes in the ganache filling, taking care not to overfill each mould. He then leaves the ganache to set at room temperature for 24 hours. Now comes the final touch: a layer of tempered chocolate to seal the deal. Czarnecki’s meticulously created bonbons are then demoulded and stored in a special room at 7˚C until two hours before they are to be served. At this point they are transferred to another room at 14˚C — he says this is the perfect temperature at which chocolate should be served for maximum flavour. Exactly two hours after diners first embarked on their culinary journey, they will at last receive their bonbons presented in a box bearing Czarnecki’s logo. “I even bought the machine that makes the thermoplastic sheets they are arranged on. Sure, there are places that can make the sheets for me, but they want you to order thousands and maybe I just want 100. Now that I have the machine, I can do anything with it, you know.” Indeed, he can! @Czarneckigregory waterkloof.co.za

Once the tempered chocolate has been poured over the ganache, an acetate sheet is placed over the mould and a spatula is run over it to smooth the chocolate base.

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Chef Gregory Czarnecki in the light-flooded wine cellar where he crafts his bonbons.

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Orange cocoa butter, which Czarnecki uses to spray chocolate moulds to form delicate shells.

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Rock-star chef Gregory Czarnecki has secret skills that only a select few know about. Anyone lucky enough to try his mindblowing “guess-theflavour” bonbons will never go back to eating just any chocolate 1.

Czarnecki’s flavour experiments have resulted in mind-blowing combinations: “YOU CAN GO REALLY CRAZY, like with guava and goat’s cheese, or salted hazelnut and Parmesan, where the saltiness comes from infusing Parmesan in the cream we use to make the ganache,” he says. Some of his other famous combinations: burnt lemon and jasmine; crème fraiche and calamansi; grapefruit and pink peppercorn; clementine and masala; white peach and saffron; mango and Espelette pepper; and blood peach and verbena.

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PERFECTIONIST

COCOA LOCO

ALL CONTRIBUTORS BUREAUX BUREAUX.CO.ZA

to offer diners something different,” says Czarnecki. “I am self-taught. Yes, I did work with chocolate when I was an apprentice, but now I guess I have more knowledge, more patience, less arrogance. And I decided that if I was going to make chocolates, they would have to be the best-looking ones I could possibly make. I want to look at them and be proud to have spent so much time on it. For me, it’s the results that matter.” The imaginative results of his experiments in colour and flavour almost defy description. The themed collections of five bonbons per table of two change constantly and can include gleaming black pyramids and gemstones, marble-like stones in neutral hues, and swirls of yellow, turquoise and purple. Concealed beneath their mirror-like cocoa-butter shells are ganache fillings in some rather way-out flavour combinations: if, for some reason, the hazelnut and Parmesan or passion fruit and basil oil do not fascinate you, perhaps the crème fraiche and raspberry vinegar will. What’s more, their creator takes great delight in tricking the senses — the exteriors of Czarnecki’s bonbons give no clue as to what diners’ taste buds will experience. “I always make sure that the colour on the outside doesn’t match the flavour. Why do yellow if it’s lemon, you know? You want people to be intrigued, to have to figure it out.” A no-limits attitude, a powerful streak of perfectionism, and using only the best-quality chocolate as the star ingredient — which he works with at precisely controlled temperatures — are key to his edible works of art. “If you just melt chocolate, like people do when they want to dip

THE

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Art on a plate: some guests have expressed doubt about whether or not the bonbons are edible because they are so beautiful. The gleaming shells appear hard and impenetrable but are in fact thin and delicate.

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The Restaurant at Waterkloof is situated on Waterkloof Wine Estate on the mountain slopes overlooking False Bay.

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spray gun and a hairdryer. They don’t sound like usual tools in the arsenal of a professional chocolatier, but then again, “usual” is not a word anyone who knows or works with Gregory Czarnecki would use to describe him. In fact, the award-winning French-born chef doesn’t even call himself a chocolatier. “I didn’t study it, it’s not my job,” he explains as he sprays a fine mist of vivid orange cocoa butter into a chocolate mould, occasionally using the hairdryer to warm up the mixture when it becomes too thick. This is how he creates the delicate shells of his bonbons, but he says a home cook could use a small paintbrush to thinly paint the cocoa butter onto the moulds, then use a toothpick to create any pattern, zigzag or swirl, followed by a second layer of cocoa butter in another colour to fill in the lines. So if making chocolate is not his job, it must be a passion then? A calling? Why else would he spend two days a week crafting his astonishing chocolates for diners at The Restaurant at Waterkloof? Czarnecki has headed up the kitchen at the best restaurant in South Africa (voted as such in the 2018 Eat Out Awards) for the past 10 years, but it was only four years ago that he decided to start making the edible works of art that have since become a fixture at the end of his 15-course degustation menu. “I was one of the first people to bring the bonbon to this country — I wanted

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HOW TO TEMPER CHOCOLATE LIKE A PRO

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The key to achieving the glossiest bonbons with the perfect snap and meltin-the-mouth texture lies in carefully tempering the chocolate. Chef Gregory Czarnecki shares his tips:

1. Start with a premier couverture chocolate such as the Valrhona Manjari 64%. Place the chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water to create a bain-marie. The base of the bowl should sit above the water without touching it. 2. Gently melt the chocolate to a temperature of exactly 55˚C. Once you have checked the temperature with a thermometer, remove the bowl from the bain-marie. 3. Next, you have to cool it down as quickly as possible. Czarnecki uses the tabling method: pour the melted chocolate onto a cool marble surface and use a spatula to work it into an even layer to speed up the process. 4. Check the temperature continually until it is at 29˚C. Scrape the chocolate back into the mixing bowl. Gently reheat it to a temperature of 32˚C. It’s now ready to use.


profile

TE X T Nothem b a Mk h ondo

ARTWOR K Jody P aul sen/SMAC G al l er y

I LLUSTR AT I O N R i chard B ecker

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ooking at a Jody Paulsen artwork on a plain white gallery wall is hypnotic, to say the least. The colours alone will stop you dead in your tracks. The intricate details, layers, and patterns will proceed to hold you there in a momentary trance as you try to mentally pick apart the myriad of symbols and shapes that Paulsen has collaged in painstaking detail. Love it or hate it, Paulsen’s incredibly singular aesthetic packs a real punch — in the best way imaginable. “I’m not always trying to make something look nice and palatable;I think art’s allowed to be ugly sometimes. There’s a slight trashiness about my work. It’s a little bit overbearing, sometimes. I can see how people can find it pretty, but it’s also kind of difficult for some people,” says the designer. The man behind the artworks is much less brazen than the work that precedes him: he’s warm, personable, and laid-back. Drinking tea on a warm winter afternoon, Paulsen pieces together the story behind his signature vivid felt collages, Cape Town which had their early beginnings in his perpetually artist Jody creative childhood. Paulsen’s “It’s something I really enjoy and I’ve done since fluorescent I was a kid. I’m an only child so on the weekends I’d works are go with my mom to work — she worked in a fabric an animated and tactile shop and she’d let me play with the fabrics. She’d meditation on always give me a little project to do. So I had the world as massive scrapbooks that I collaged and I used to we know it cut up her old magazines and fabrics. She always encouraged me to entertain myself,” he fondly recalls. Although he dabbled in painting and ceramics in high school, Paulsen’s affinity for collage stuck and his love for felt followed suit. Inspired by the early collages of the Cubist, Dada, and the De Stijl movements, Paulsen’s work as we know it today started as a series of tongue-in-cheek collaged posters based on one of the Time lists of the world’s most influential people, while he was studying print media. “The first time I ever decided to work with felt, I was doing my fourth year at Michaelis [School of Fine Art in Cape Town] and I just wanted to make these collages with flat colour. I wanted to find fabric that I could cut so I could make clean lines. I found all this felt in different colours at a fabric store and I bought a metre in each colour. That’s how I learnt to work with the medium at first,” he explains. Since then, Paulsen’s artworks have grown not only in size (they can reach around 2m high) but also in intricacy, depth, and fluorescent colour. But Paulsen’s playful approach to art — where he uses animated, collaged, felt artworks to explore issues of modern life and provide commentary on pop culture — has remained the same. “Felt all of a sudden became so interesting, because at the time, I was in my twenties and I felt like I was learning how to be an adult and learning about dating, looking after myself, and trying to get a job. And felt became such an obvious medium to learn these themes in an artistic way,” he says. “You know those fuzzy felt packs children use to make zoos or hospitals and stuff, to make sense of the world? I thought, wouldn’t it be interesting if we took adult concerns and tried to arrange them OF THE MOMENT in these collages out of children’s craft mediums. I kind of like the humour and the paradox of the content and the medium,” he smiles. An artwork as intricate and detailed as Paulsen’s would seemingly take a lot of planning and thought, but for him the process is more languid. The artwork unfurls before his own eyes as he cuts and layers new shapes and motifs piece by piece. Picture this: surreal “Sometimes I go through these phases where portraits of aniI’m so inspired and I just can’t stop writing things mated figures down. I’m just taking stock and compiling information decked out in and ideas that I like. I compile a bunch of sentences statement prints, and then I sketch ideas like trees as eyes or whatposing in a lush ever — I’ll kind of make these visual notes. But I poolside scene with never do preparatory sketches. I just take little bright patterned idea things, and then I cut them out. And then I backgrounds

put them together and make it up as I go along. I really don’t know what things will look like when I’m done with them,” he chuckles. When Paulsen is not tirelessly cutting and constructing visuals in his studio, he acts as one half of the fashion duo AKJP — a clothing brand he founded with his dear friend, Adriaan Kuiters. But when it comes down to it, Jody Paulsen the designer and Jody Paulsen the artist are one and the same — they share the same eye and taste for prints and bold colour. “In terms of clothes,

I’m always drawn to something that has the same quality that’s in my artwork,” he says. It’s hard to miss a Jody Paulsen artwork, wherever you may find it. If you take a moment to take it all in, it becomes clear that Paulsen’s keen eye for deconstructing motifs and images into meticulous patterns and his ability to collage them into large-scale artworks, even without a premeditated vision, may just be the magic behind his signature, indelible, aesthetic. Jody Paulsen is represented by SMAC Gallery

CUT, PASTE, REPEAT

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I DO FEEL PRETTY

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veryone dreams of a little house by the sea, or somewhere thereabouts. I found mine, in what now seems like another lifetime, on an old dirt road in a little village within walking distance of a brewery. It wasn’t right on the beach, so there wasn’t that eternal note of sadness I’d always imagined would naturally accompany a life lived out in increasingly obscure reveries between beers. In fact, there wasn’t much of anything: an old Spar, which occasionally stocked ground coffee, a couple of antique shops, with odd trading hours, and a single restaurant buried in the nether regions of what went as a hotel but was really an old-age home. Many locals liked to congregate there, or at the church, and those who didn’t held meetings outside the town’s only bottle store, where they spoke a language that I thought at the time was called “Jo ma se”. Still, what the village lacked in sophistication, it made up for in other ways.

FINAL WORD

not far enough from the madding cro wd

TE X T Stephen Haw

Jody Paulsen, I Do Feel Pretty, felt collage, 2019

complete with tropical palm trees and flowers. These are some of the artworks taking centre stage in Paulsen’s latest body of work, which he recently presented at The

Armory Show in New York. I Do Feel Pretty is a commentary on popular culture and who we try to be in this wild, modern world that we live in, online and

The local river, which skirted the town’s boundary and looked up into the flanks of the Klein mountains, was full of fish and leaping otter. On a quiet afternoon, one had its shaded banks and cool depths all to oneself. I found my own grassy knoll, secret back then, where I planned to read all the books I still thought lay in wait for me. It was a quiet little town, with next to nothing to do. And I loved it. In the evenings, I would lounge in my hammock and smoke a joint and look out half-infatuate at the little graveyard across the way, also within walking distance... The wind and the clouds would conspire with the sun to project their own lightshows against the folds of the distant mountains. Sometimes, I’d light my own fire and watch gigantic sparks roar on the breath of the night wind. Ok, so it wasn’t Netflix, but I was happy. It was a beautiful place, full of storms and the crystal tinkle of leiwater, but most of all, back then, it was full of silence. On some nights, I’d lay in wait for the solitary sound of the church bell, which would

offline. “It started with something that Kim Kardashian said. She said, “I do feel pretty,” which I thought was so cute and I had this idea of these people who perform versions

strike the hour by its number, and then with a single blow to mark the half hour. After midnight, this made it difficult to tell whether it was half-past twelve, one o’clock, or half-past one. Of course, you knew by two. But it was these singular tolls that I grew to treasure most, because for the briefest of moments I felt disappeared in my own Bermuda triangle of time, lost in a solitary bliss that was everything I’d imagined it would be. And then I made a mistake. I told my boss about this quaint little village, somewhere near the sea. He rented my cottage for a holiday of his own, and loved it so much he bought a house. And that, my friends, was the beginning of the end. He told his friends, who told their friends, some of whom happened to be my friends, who became his friends… until very quickly we grew into one big happy colony of friends (I believe that’s the common noun). It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. One poignant moment stands out from these halcy-

of themselves, like the best versions of themselves. I wanted these figures that have these big eyes and heads that look quite disproportionate to their bodies,” he says.

on days. I had gone off to find a quiet place to nurse wounds from another lifetime, when I was spotted — curiously, I might add, for I was in my best bar camo: dark shirt, dark pants, dark look in the darkest corner — but I guess, by then, my cloak of invisibility had worn thin. Next thing I know, I’m surrounded by people I know. And they crash into the bar like waves, each set bigger than the last. Rounds of shooters appear. Everyone seems to be talking to everyone else, all at once. Mostly about work. A couple starts to bicker, and then another argument breaks out between a couple trying to stop them... and somewhere in all this, someone’s kid (Jack, I still love you) takes absolute delight, as only a seven-year-old can, at grinding pepper into my right eye. I hear someone crying, but it takes a moment to realise it is me... and I’m crying, not because I can’t see, but because I’ve suddenly woken up in the midst of the very thing I’ve tried to escape. Ah yes, I, too, once had a dream of a little house by the sea.


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