Be a good ‘sitzpinkler’ and sit down

Pucker up the pelvic oor muscles, cos this is all about peeing. And the powder room powerhouse called S.S.S.S which could change the landscape of bathrooms or restrooms as we know them.

It’s also about the growing phenomenon of sitzpinklers who unashamedly sitzpinkle.

A wonderful German word and delightfully onomatopoeiac. A sitzpinkler is a man who sits down to pee.

Once upon a time, a Kiwi bloke would have been deeply o ended to have been labelled a sitzpinkler. It would have been a real attack on his masculinity.

“I bet he sits down to pee...” Sco , sco , chuckle, fall about!

Imagine Colin Meads or Richie McCaw excusing themselves for a slash and then hearing a gentle tinkle, tinkle and the unravelling of three-ply from the second cubicle. It wouldn’t have happened. Kiwi blokes don’t sitzpinkle…or do they?

“S.S.S.S?” asked e Doe.

“Signing over Sovereignty of the Stalls to the Sisters. It’s a ourishing political movement of one. Just me at the moment.

“Let me explain.”

Equal but inequitable

Across the land, at bars, restaurants, sporting venues, cinemas, theatres, airports, you name it, there are equal numbers of men’s and women’s toilets. Equal but inequitable – because the needs of women are quite di erent of course.

ey spend longer in toilets – about twice as long apparently, 90 seconds for women to 40 seconds for men. Nothing to do with preening but everything to do with wardrobe constraints and biological functions. Do we need to explain?

e upshot for women is queues –long, leg-crossing, muscle-contracting, face-scrunching, cold sweat-inducing, incident-promoting queues. More numbers – 60 per cent of women have to queue for a pee at a public facility, while it’s just 11 per cent for men.

I can’t remember ever having to queue.

Most of the time I have had a pee, a pie and a pint and am back in my seat for the second half by the time some women in the queue have even got through the door towards the loo.

So… and it’s a big so, they need more dunnies, many, MANY more.

It’s calculated they need more than twice as many as men. And until that need is factored into plans for future ablution facilities, why don’t men just throw open the ‘Men’s’ doors?

Sign over access and control of the underutilised cubicles in men’s loos to the ladies? Cos we don’t need most of them most of the time. Simple as that. S.S.S.S in action.

matter. Anecdotally he’s one of the majority – all men I spoke to were unequivocal. All were standers. But Lionel Messi isn’t – he’s a sitter. Does one soccer player, albeit a good one, make a di erence?

And does ‘sitzpinking’ matter? Maybe it does, because it can be healthier. e Guardian newspaper reported German research found sitting has a more ‘favourable urodynamic pro le’ allowing the bladder to empty faster and more completely.

For some men with lower urinary tract symptoms caused by an enlarged prostate, the ‘sitting position is preferable to the standing’. Fascinating, mind-numbing stu .

Collateral damage

And what about the collateral damage that comes with a standing slash? e mate claims sniper-like precision with his aim.

Bunkum, cried a colleague. She’s lived with three males in the house for years. “A woman just has to lift the toilet seat to see the carnage men leave.

“ en there’s peripheral damage on the oor, my bathroom scales, the walls.” ey want to go to the loo, they have an urge; they need a cubicle. ey won’t be stopping to gaze upon a gallery of todgers. ey just won’t. All this on the back of a Stu story that reported the brazen behaviour of a woman who, confronted with a queue and an urge, simply crashed the men’s dunny. Love her style. Another blow for female emancipation in the dunny. Move over guys. Eyes front.

Yukky pups. Rub their noses.

A mate winced, sputtered and shifted uncomfortably from one leg to the other at the thought. “But we still have to use the urinal…and….????” And what?

A stander or a sitter?

It was then I tested my mate about ‘sitzpinkling’ – men sitting while peeing. Was he a stander or a sitter? He was outraged – I was assaulting his manhood. ere was much harrumphing. He didn’t want to talk about it. He stands, women sit, it’s always been that way, end of

Science also disproves my ‘sniper’ mate. Apparently the stream breaks up into droplets at 15cm, the droplets then crash into one another causing even smaller droplets to y o every which way. His ‘sniper-like precision’ is a nonsense. Swab the oor and see.

Forty per cent of German men are sitters, the French, Swedes and Danes all about 20 per cent and believe it or not, 25 per cent of Australian men.

Although they’d deny it. Red-blooded, best in the world at everything ‘Ocker’ blokes sitting down to pee? ey would go on national TV, cry and deny it.

Anyhow it all points to a change in habits and attitudes.

Perhaps single-sex toilets and urinals are obsolete? Perhaps we should be building masses of uni-sex cubicles. No queues, no mess, no discomfort, better health, happy women. Or is that pee-ing into the wind? I must away and wash my hands. Your thoughts? Email: hunter@thesun.co.nz

A Tauranga-based primary school principal is speaking out, saying she’s horri ed by how many vape stores are in proximity to their school in Greerton.

Earlier this week, e Weekend Sun was approached with concerns from the community about the number of vape stores in the Greerton area.

Greerton Village School’s principal Kimberley Henderson-Ginns is making her stance clear on this situation. “It’s absolutely horri c.

“We take children in a walking school bus so we can walk our children through the community safely in the afternoon.

“Our walking school bus walks out of our school gate, across the crossing, up to where we drop students o – there are ve [vape stores] and that’s not including dairies – this is just vape stores.”

Last week the Government announced tighter restrictions on vaping in New Zealand. Among the new rules, disposable vapes are being banned from this coming August and new vape stores will not be permitted within 300 metres of schools.

“We’ve got really young and impressionable students and I’m totally on board with them being banned from around schools. It’s crazy.”

Kimberley says she thinks the number of vape stores in the Greerton community is “disgraceful”.

“Primary school-aged children are vaping and it’s just too readily available. I think it’s disgusting.

“We haven’t had vaping at our school but they’re [the students] just exposed to it, so parents smoking, older teenaged children, intermediateaged school kids – they’re all vaping.”

She says that the vape stores in Greerton are inviting to look at for kids. “ ey’re new, they’ve got di erent colours, they’re appealing and they’re appealing to children who walk past them.

“I just think [vapes are] too readily available and I think the names of them and the colours are designed to appeal to young people.

“When you’ve got this many shops around a school, which has got 366 kids, it’s becoming normalised…I’m really anti them.”

For wider community views on the number of vape stores in Greerton, turn to page 4 of this edition. Georgia

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Police in Ōpōtiki for tangi

ere’s been an increased police presence in Ōpōtiki this week to watch for “any unlawful behaviour” due to a gang member’s tangi. ere have been reports of an increase in gang members in the town since the death of Steven Rota Taiatini, 45, of Ōpōtiki, who died after a disorder-related incident shortly after 11pm on Friday, June 8.

Since then two house res there are being treated as suspicious. Local schools have also closed their doors during this week due to safety concerns around the rising gang tensions.

Fieldays kicks o ‘spectacularly’

e much-awaited winter Fieldays is back captivating visitors this week with a remarkable showcase of agricultural trade, entertainment, education and innovation.

e event’s opening day on Wednesday was a “perfect blend” of Waikato winter weather, and breathtaking views with sunrise streaming through bouts of low-lying fog, and an overwhelming sense of excitement.

e 55th Fieldays commenced with a pōwhiri and raising of the NZ National Fieldays Society and New Zealand ags, followed by a ribbon-cutting ceremony led by society chair Jenni Vernon.

Free buses for kids and teens

Bus fares in the Bay of Plenty will be free for anyone aged 18 or under from July 1. Currently, buses are free for children aged ve and under and free for those six-18 only between 7am-9am and 3pm-5pm weekdays in Tauranga, Whakatāne, and Rotorua.

e decision to change the fare structure was made at an Extraordinary Bay of Plenty Regional Council meeting last Friday. It was in response to the Government’s budget announcement in May to provide funding for free public transport for children under 13, and half-price fares for people under 25.

TECT con rm $19.5m funding

Following strong community support, TECT’s trustees have signed o on the Trust’s key plans to create better outcomes for current and future generations in Tauranga and the Western Bay of Plenty.

e Trustees have con rmed a funding budget of $19.5 million for the Funding Plan for 2023-2024, which ows from the Strategic Plan.

TECT will continue to fund the many community organisations and initiatives as it has done previously with responsive funding, but the community also supported the majority of funding being dedicated to strategic, transformational projects and initiatives that will provide intergenerational bene t.