Supporting others through tragedy

from The Weekend Sun - 16 June 2023

When I moved from Papamoa to Katikati nine years ago, I just assumed that a four-lane expressway would go in to accommodate the ever-growing volume of tra c on the route, but what have we gotten instead? ree passing lanes removed and a series of awkwardly-designed, narrow roundabouts. So when this ash, fourlane Takitimu North Link is completed, it’s going to deliver motorists into this joke of a mess? at’ll be a bit of an anti-climax to their speedy, smooth trip from Tauriko to Te Puna to say the least.

“We lost on Mother’s Day, the week of… I struggle with Mother’s Day still.”

Michelle Topham’s eyes begin to water as she describes her experience of losing her second child to miscarriage.

After the loss, Michelle was gifted a massage voucher. “ e massage therapist had owers for me when I arrived, and I felt so special. I thought: ‘I can’t be the only one feeling this way after a miscarriage’.” e Tauranga mother cites this as her “encouragement” to start Massage after Miscarriage – she knew other mums could feel the same relief she did. ree years later, the group has supported more than 200 mums.

Michelle and her husband live in Tauranga with daughter Olivia, aged ve, and their ‘rainbow boy’ John – born healthy after her the loss of their second child.

Back in May 2020 Michelle believed she was nine weeks pregnant when she went to a routine scan to nd out she had miscarried. “I’d been spotting for a week before I told my midwife about it. I tried to tell myself it can be normal but I knew inside that it wasn’t to be…”

Any gestation

Massage after Miscarriage helps mums at any gestation. “We send them for massages, facials, nails, hair treatments.” e emotional wellbeing of these mums is at the forefront of Michelle’s mind, and she hopes the pampering will help that. “We just want to support them through such a rough time.”

Women are referred to Massage after Miscarriage by a midwife after their loss.

For Michelle, who runs the non-pro t charity, this opportunity to support mothers through such a tough time is payment enough. “I get a message of thanks and it just boosts me because I know what we’re doing is so important. ey feel seen, they feel cared for. It’s the fact that they don’t have to think about it, you just turn up and relax. It’s really nice to give back.” is growth is physically represented by the care packages. “It’s funny, the care packages started o with maybe three small items, now you’re getting that much more love in them. It’s so cool. ese are really heavy and full now.”

Michelle’s impact has grown to reach Hamilton, Queenstown and Auckland’s North Shore in three years.

A care package

After the massage, mums are sent home with a care package made by Michelle, and owers donated by local orists Myrrh & Co, Cherrywood Florist and Bethlehem Floral Studio. “ e care packages are lled with products donated by New Zealand businesses such as Mia Belle NZ, Amalie’s Room, Koa’s candles, Malsea Body Co, Favoured.NZ.” e event is now sold-out. Michelle is grateful to All Occasions Party Hire in Hamilton, which has donated the cups and saucers for the high tea Support can be gifted to Massage after Miscarriage at: www.massageaftermiscarriage.com

A community of sorts has been created by Michelle, as Massage after Miscarriage fosters a safe space to discuss these experiences of loss, which she says is so important. “It just makes me so proud that I’ve turned something so awful for myself into something beautiful for other people.” Massage after Miscarriage is holding a high tea fundraiser at Matua Hall at 3pm, Saturday, June 24, to continue supporting mums.

Chloe Davison