The “—”

I’VE HAD MANY calls in the middle of the night, and none of them were good. When the phone rang this evening, I knew it wasn’t good news, I just didn’t know how bad. A good friend’s youngest daughter had been killed.

She was just 17 years old, driving with her boyfriend returning from his high school graduation party. There was no alcohol, or drugs. There was no distracted driving while texting on a phone. In fact, he was driving, she was a passenger, and his younger sister was in the back seat while his parents followed in another car. A red light was run by another vehicle and in a second, many lives changed forever. I’ve always taken a weird comfort in bad situations in being able to assess, learn and tell myself, “This is what could have been done differently to change the outcome.” This was not one of those situations because it was a reminder of the stark reality that sometimes, horrible things just happen that are outside of our control.

It shouldn’t matter, but when I say this family is special, it’s an understatement. The parents are amazing in every way … the type of people that make everyone around them better, and happier simply because they are around. All three of their kids are amazing, strong, competitive, kind and funny. But their youngest was truly something amazing.

She was smart and kind, funny and beautiful, competitive and strong. She wore her heart on her sleeve and was never afraid to speak her mind. She was ferociously loyal, stuck up for her friends and the “little guy,” and loved her family.

As I heard the words that she was gone, a million thoughts raced through my mind and yet, there wasn’t a word that seemed appropriate to say, so I sat speechless. Finally, I just said, “I love you, brother.” With that, the call was over and the flood of thoughts began. About me, about my family and friends, and about whether I’m still living with the knowledge that every day is a gift and we’re not assured another chance to say what needs to be said.

I learned as a child, and throughout my adult life, that our time is not a guarantee. Each day is a gift and frankly, I never expected to be around this long. I give thanks every morning I wake up, and every evening before I go to sleep. I give thanks that my family is safe and healthy for another day. But, I think it’s human nature to take our lives for granted.

How many times have we left the house either mad or in a rush? Maybe not taken the time for that extra hug or to sincerely share how much people mean to you before you depart? Maybe put off that call, or visit to a longtime friend or family member? If I told you that today was the last day of your life, what would you say, and to whom?

As we attended her Celebration of Life, I was not surprised that it was being held at her high school gymnasium, as she was a talented athlete who was ferociously competitive and cared about her team.

As I looked around, I can almost promise that this gym had never held so many people. It was standing room only. As person after person stood and shared stories of her, it felt more like this day belonged to someone in their senior years. Funny stories, mixed with testimony of how much she impacted lives filled the room over and over again. Each person had their own, amazing experience with her that was somehow all packed into her short 17 years.

While I sat there filled with emotions of heartbreak for my friends having to go on without their amazing daughter, something that was shared with me in my youth came to mind. I was about to start a career and someone who became a mentor said, “Your life is made up of two dates, and a dash. Make the most of the dash.” That was it. On someone in their twenties, it wasn’t as meaningful as it is now. In just 17 short years, she filled that dash with a LOT! She impacted countless people and created a legacy that will live on for far more years than the short few that she was with us.

I could go on, but I hope by now you are thinking not just of your own life, but of those you care most about and questioning, “Do they know how I feel about them? Have I left anything unsaid? Have I done everything I’ve wanted and if my time came, would I pass without regret?” This is what I’ve thought about almost non-stop since that phone call; that our time is short and tomorrow is not a promise. Imagine if you could wake up reminded of this every day, and live your life knowing that not only are you living your fullest life, but also saying and doing everything in your heart with those who mean the most to you?

As I’ve shared in other stories, it’s simple, but not easy. However, some things are worth it and it took my friend’s heartbreaking tragedy to remind me that we should not take the gift of tomorrow for granted. Take an extra minute and give them a hug, or a call, or send an email.

Thank you for the honor of serving you and this great industry. I am humbled by your dedication and support of what we do, as well as allowing me to share my thoughts with you each month. I hope you all have a wonderful summer, building on the legacy of your “dash.”