TO ADVERTISE info@survivalguide.co.za or call 074 103 8761 www.survivalguide.co.za SURVIVAL GUIDE TEAM Publisher: Mia Blom Editor: Jacqueline Baldwin AREA MANAGERS Garden Route: Jacqueline Baldwin Gauteng: Toni Arnold Cape Boland: Rencia van Wyk Administrator: Janet Nielson DESIGN & PUBLISHED BY
‘The pressures of being a parent are equal to any pressure on earth. To be a conscious parent, and really look to that little being’s mental and physical health, is a responsibility which most of us, including me, avoid most of the time because it’s too hard.’ - John Lennon
Hello again! The other day I overheard a lady saying that ‘the youth of today’ lack manners and decency. She went on to suggest that parents today are raising their children badly. Let’s not get defensive – let’s think about it. Many of the generation that encouraged us to develop ourselves and step out of old family paradigms are shocked at where our learning has taken us. We’ve discovered that fear based ‘good’ behaviour is worthless. We take the time to try to understand our children and treat them as equals. This requires listening when it would be easier to lash out and demand compliance, compromising when black and white rules would keep life so easy. But have we lost the plot a little? Has our desire to be ‘conscious’ parents become a little bit selfish? In regarding our children as equals, perhaps we are depriving them of a little of the simplicity that a child requires. Exposing them so early to heavy things (whether on TV or within our homes), over stimulating them and depriving them of the GREAT parts of our childhood– healthy home cooked meals, ample rest and simple good, clean outdoorsy fun? Our challenge to ourselves and to you this edition is to look to the heart of what our children really need. Let’s give them the ‘combo’ package – nurturing body, mind and soul with loads of love and clean cut boundaries. Enjoy getting outside with your children these last warm days… Jacqueline and Mia
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COPYRIGHT: Copyright of all original published material is vested in ‘Survival Guide’ and may be reproduced only with the permission of ‘Survival Guide.’ All opinions expressed in the articles appearing in ‘Survival Guide’ are those of the authors. Authors of articles are compelled to acknowledge all sources of information (if any) used in the compiling of articles and are therefore liable for copyright transgressions. ‘Survival Guide’ accepts no responsibility for claims made in the advertisements and will not be held liable for any damage resulting from the use of any of the information published in ‘Survival Guide.’ Survival Guide takes no responsibility for artwork supplied by our advertisers.
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BABY DAYS
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YOUR GROWING CHILD
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YOUR GROWING CHILD
melissa page school of dance Association of International Dance Teachers (A.I.D.T)
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YOUR GROWING CHILD
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Building Character In Children - ANDALENE SALVESEN Consider character traits like, integrity, honesty, punctuality, For character to change, the following cycle needs to happen: Ah-ha: This is an awareness that something needs to good manners, and patience. Don’t we all want our children 1. change to grow up having these characteristics? Think:Time needs to be spent processing the awareness 2. 3. Decide: a decision taken to make a change How do we as parents accomplish this? Action: an action plan put into place Integrity, honesty, punctuality and patience are all traits, 4. Repeat: doing the new action over and over regardless of temperament or birth order, that need to be 5. 6. Habit: this repetition of experience develops character instilled in children from a young age.
Character is all about WHO and WHAT you are and how you RESPOND or REACT when no one is watching. It’s what you do when you know you won’t be getting recognition or acknowledgement. Character through obstacles As parents we often shelter or protect our children from obstacles or challenges, wanting to make life as easy as possible. Yet facing obstacles in life develops character. It affects your behaviour, how you respond in different situations and your attitude towards people around you. It is the vehicle that helps to steer us through situations and is developed mainly through relationships. • We learn to love by giving love and serving others. • We teach children to be responsible adults by teaching them to take responsibility through owning their feelings and accepting blame for what they have done.
When you have developed the awareness, most parents often want to affect the changes immediately, but remember the process starts at A, not at D. Good luck!
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They do not just appear out of nowhere. If these traits have not been developed at a young age, through exposure and example, how can you expect it to be present in your child as an adult?
Lead by example Most importantly, children need to see character traits modelled in their parents. It is the parent’s duty to teach and re-teach these characteristics.
You could be raising the next president! What qualities would he/she need to fulfil that role? What can you do to help prepare your child for life’s pressures and challenges? • Having a sibling is one great way to develop character. • You have to share, wait, give, listen, serve, help, take turns etc. This is great training ground for the real world. So when you bring home a baby brother or sister, don’t feel sorry for the sibling, rejoice! • Children have to learn that they have to change first and not expect the situation to change for them. • For instance, how do you develop patience without ever having to wait for something? • How do you learn self control if you have never been told, “No, you can’t have a cookie!” when you really wanted one. • How do you learn what success is if you have never failed? • How do you know what it feels like to work hard for something, save up and finally buy it, if you have always been given what you asked for?
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Good morals are caught not taught! Parents model honesty and provide children with a safe environment to be vulnerable.
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YOUR GROWING CHILD
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Nurture emotional, physical and mental confidence in your children with these wonderful products…
YOUR GROWING CHILD
Meet the latest in stylish yet functional toys for kids as young as 9 months old! Phonix in a Box offers fun, colourful phonic resources. Our products are designed by a Speech-Language Therapist, to strengthen a child’s reading and spelling skills. We sell boxes of phonic cards and phonic workbooks. The card games are excellent to teach phonics and they are simple to use at home, in therapy and at school. The phonic workbooks are a wonderful resource to reinforce spelling, reading, vocabulary and language skills. View samples on our website www.phonixinabox.co.za To place an order: Email info@phonixinabox.co.za Fax 044 871 4431 Contact Lindsay 072 323 5644
Little ones enjoy many fun-filled hours as they walk, swing and glide with the latest stylish bike adaptation – YBIKE Pewi. Following on the multi Awardwinning YBIKE Original, this new ride-on and walking-buddy teaches important motor skills such as balance, co-ordination and body in space awareness! Quality features such as aluminium tubing, injection moulded parts and specially designed swivel castor wheels ensure a quiet smooth ride that is suitable for indoor and outdoor play. Learning is FUN with YBIKE Pewi! Available from R399 in pink and blue from Toys R Us, Reggies, Checkers and Baby Boom. For more information, visit www.ybike.co.za
At last a real understanding of the inner emotional world of children aged 4-18yrs! The Role of Emotional Intelligence in shaping behaviour is a simple one: those children who know their feelings are less likely to have difficulties at home and at school. Easy to use and fun to administer, the Children’s School land Home Apperception Tool (CSH-T) is a projective tool to assists parents, teachers and therapists to know the feelings behind behaviours we in the classroom and at home. The CSH-t provides a glimpse into the head and heart of the child, how sh/e is dealing with sibling rivalry, parental authority, peer pressure etc. When we understand the child’s feelings in these spheres we are more capable of helping the child to identify and relate to his/her emotional world other. This is the true building of EQ skills.
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COST OF THE CSH-T R 420.00 / U$89 (postage R30 within SA) To Order: Please Contact Pam Tudin, (MA Clin. Psych) 0829287206 / pamtudin@iafrica.com Or Sally Fraser Mackenzie (Bsc. O.T) sm@cyberperk.co.za / 0727352911 3 Lucky Survival Guide readers will win CSH-T! The first 3 people to e-mail the words “Survival Guide” to pamtudin@ iafrica.com will win!!!! Every entrant will be entitled to buy the CSH-T for the discount prize of R380!.
…can I order some for my child please? By: Pam Tudin
Children with good EQ’s can: • motivate themselves to do their work • read the danger signs in social situations • tell you what they feel and why they are feeling it • manage stress and deal with conflict • adjust to change • persist in the face of difficulty • show self-restraint and impulse control.
and
the
Child’s
Emotional
The role of Emotional Intelligence in shaping behaviour is simple: Those with higher EQ’s are less likely to have difficulties at home and at school. The first step in developing the child’s emotional quotient starts with teaching him/her to understand and name feelings. Understanding and nurturing the child’s emotional quotient requires the parent, teacher or therapist to observe the child and ascertain the feelings that are behind the behaviour. The CSH-T is a projective tool that provides critical information to parents, teachers and therapists with regard to the inner emotional world of the child. When we learn what the child is feeling and thinking in relation to critical aspects of his/her life viz. his or her relationship with parents, peers, siblings and even teachers, we are more equipped to begin assisting the child to name and identify feelings for themselves.
Pam Tudin is a Clinical Psychologist. Her work with children is informed by her work with Corporate Leadership – those who can lead in adulthood were steeped in Emotional Intelligence in childhood. To this end, she has set up a consultancy GEARED FOR LIFE which aims at providing youth with real life skills (conflict management, assertiveness training etc.) Her fundamental belief that all children are capable of going from ‘good to great’, inspires her work. In between changing nappies and making school lunches, she is completing her Doctorate. She lives in Knysna with her husband, two relentless but wonderful boys and two mad cats.
Emotional intelligence is important for a child, not only because s/he is better able to understand him/ herself, but because it helps the child to take action in relation to those feelings. Children with higher EQ’s can consider the needs of others when acting and relate to the world with more insight, drive and intuition. On the other hand, a child with a lower emotional intelligence is often unable to focus on the task at hand, s/he is despondent about the future and feels helpless to do anything about it. Children with lower EQ’s are vulnerable to peer-pressures, worries, and anxiety. They may hide this inadequacy under the façade of the ‘class clown’ or put on a veneer of being tough and aggressive. This could lead to impulsive, bully-like behaviours and becoming an under-achiever. When other factors such as ADHD, Aspergers or Depression begin to play a role in a FaceBook Fan Page: http//on.fb.me/PamTudin child’s life, EQ resources are even further depleted. Email: pamtudin@iafrica.com
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Indeed, recent studies now point to the fact that EQ contributes up to 80% of the child’s later success in life. Emotional intelligence helps in developing emotional self-awareness. It allows the child to understand his/her feelings. It also empowers the child to handle feelings appropriately, guiding him/ her to get along with others, deal with conflict and manage stress.
The CSH-T Intelligence
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Simply put, emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage one’s emotions (and those of others) in a healthy and productive manner. Today, parents, teachers and therapists realise that it is not only the child’s IQ (intelligence quotient) that is crucial for development: real and concerted emphasis also needs to be placed on developing Emotional Intelligence (EQ).
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YOUR GROWING CHILD
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HAPPY HOMES
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HAPPY HOMES
CELEBRATE
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CELEBRATE
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FAMILY FUN
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FAMILY FUN
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HEALTHY LIVING
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HEALTHY LIVING
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This method of intensive auditory stimulation was shown to be helpful for many people with auditory or listening-related difficulties, including • Concentration problems • Painful hearing • Reading and spelling (phonology) problems • Speech problems • Social skills These are problems experienced by people of any age, and are also found in children with • Dyslexia • ADD / H • Autism Speech and language disorders
Contact details: Anna-Marie de Bruin 084 500 1351 annamdeb@gmail.com www.filteredsoundtraining.net
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HEALTHY LIVING
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HEALTHY LIVING
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HEALTHY LIVING