Male survivors stories on screen
DUNCAN CRAIG OBE Chief Executive Officer
INSIDE CEO UPDATE
So much has changed since our last issue of Beyond The Silence.
THE SUN IS SHINING, THE WEATHER IS CERTAINLY BRIGHTER, AND SINCE OUR LAST EDITION SO MUCH HAS CHANGED.
We have a new Prime Minister in Number 10, a new government around the cabinet table, and that always brings about the introduction of new policies, new ideas and new ways to solve problems. That always brings about hope. But we have also just been through an intense period of hooliganism, racist displays, Islamophobia, and civil unrest. There is never any place in a civilised society for this kind of behaviour and here at We Are Survivors, we stand against it and all forms of hate.
In the last edition, we exclusively spoke with our Ambassador, Richard Gadd on the incredible success of the Netflix smash hit Baby Reindeer and his relationship with We Are Survivors. In this edition we continue the theme of telling stories, with thanks to the team at BBC’s Casualty and our cover star Barney Walsh. Barney’s portrayal of a sexual abuse survivor is certainly one to watch!
Also inside this edition, you’ll hear from our ISVA team on the work of an ISVA; our community development team on a few exciting new offers in the pipeline; and from our Suicide Prevention Lead in support of World Suicide Prevention Day.
Change was the key theme of this new Government’s election campaign, and we will continue to be on the front supporting that idea. But we will also be at the front holding our leaders fairly and justly to account, particularly in dealing with the epidemic of child sexual abuse, rape and sexual exploitation. Things will only change if people make it happen and it will only happen if they about it, so we will continue to hold space for stories of survivorship to be told and to be understood.
As always, send us an email at support@wearesurvivors.org.uk with any comments or suggestions, and follow us on our socials. Theo has even made us join TikTok now, so get following and sharing (@thisissurvivors).
Thank you for all your support in helping us to achieve our vision of ensuring no male survivor is left behind.
DUNCAN CRAIG OBE Chief Executive Officer
WE'RE AT PRIDE!
It’s been a busy Summer of Pride for the ON IT campaign.
The ON IT campaign - our joint campaign with George House Trust promoting understanding and advice around sex, chems, HIV and consenthas had a very busy Summer!
Over the course of the last few months, the campaign has hosted information stalls at Trafford Pride, Bolton Pride, Bury Pride, Stockport Pride, Oldham Pride and Wigan Pride. We estimate that the ON IT team have engaged with over 500 people at these events, passing on vital information and signposting people to the campaign website at www.onit.org.uk
As this issue goes to print, the team are making preparations to take part in the big one - Manchester Pride Parade on 24th August! This is the first time We Are Survivors has been a part of the
parade and it promises to be a colourful and impactful parade entry, with 50 eye-catching placards conveying the campaign messages, a large banner featuring our Ambassador Cheddar Gorgeous, and everyone in our specially created ON IT t-shirts! Check our socials for pictures and videos from the day! The ON IT campaign has more in the pipeline, so keep an eye on our socials for all the details.
To find out more about the campaign, and take part in our online quiz testing your knowledge of sex, chems, HIV and consent, scan the code.
BI VISIBILTY DAY 2024
Bi Visbility Day falls n 23rd September, and here at We Are Survivors, we are all about the visibility of people and communities. Research shows that bisexual people are often referred to as the “forgotten” part of the LGBTQ+ community and they face a number of negative stereotypes and expectations from across society. Approximately 4% of the survivors that access our services identify as bisexual, as do some of our staff and supporters. So we wanted to say to bi male survivors… we see you, we’re here for you, and you’re welcome to bring your whole self here.
VICTIMS AND PRISONERS
ACT 2024
In the run up to the General Election, you may be forgiven for not knowing that something huge happened for victims/survivors. The Victims and Prisoners Bill that we talked about in the last edition was pushed through and achieved royal assent before Parliament was prorogued.
That means that, for the first time ever, we now have a law focused on victims’ rights that will be protected in law; that decision makers must work together to provide the right services that meet victims needs in their area; and a number of other actions that will begin to be unwrapped in the next Parliament.
Follow our socials for updates.
MEN'S HEALTH MAGAZINE PODCAST
Our CEO Duncan, along with Richard Gadd, and some of our lads recently took part in a significant feature for the influential Men’s Health magazine. The feature by Molly Lipson was a detailed look at the work of We Are Survivors and the importance of keeping male survivors stories and experiences front and centre.
You can read the Men’s Health Magazine feature online by scanning the QR code.
Everyone at We Are Survivors would like to congratulate our amazing Ambassador Richard Gadd and his team for their amazing 11 Emmy nominations. Nominations include best lead actor in a limited or anthology series or movie for Richard, as well as best supporting actress nominations in the equivalent category for Jessica Gunning and Nava Mau. Go team! 11 EMMY NOMINATIONS FOR BABY REINDEER!
THE SOUND OF SILENCE
TAG introduces our brand new series of podcasts!
When the idea of creating We Are Survivors’ first podcast came up, I knew it had fantastic potential to bring our community closer.
Podcasts offer a unique way to connect, and I wanted ours to be more than just informative—it needed to be engaging and authentic. From brainstorming to recording, the process has already presented its fair share of challenges, but has also been incredibly rewarding. Our first episode features an interview with Josh, our Pathfinder Lead who gives us the benefit of his experience with self-care, but more than that, it’s a deeply fascinating conversation
between two colleagues who clearly have a lot of love for what they do for our charity. This is a trend that continues throughout this first season, as our host George leads three other insightful discussions with our colleagues as they introduce key areas of our service and also take a deep dive into topics that affect them on a personal level.
So, I hope you’ll join us for this first run of episodes of Beyond the Silence, coming soon to our YouTube channel, Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you get your podcasts (I’ve always wanted to say that!)
INTERNATIONAL DAY OF CHARITY 2024
Thursday 5th September is International Day of Charity. What better time to support We Are Survivors?
The first Thursday of September celebrates the 12th anniversary of the International Day of Charity, a day established with the objective of getting people, NGO’s, and stakeholders all around the world to help others through philanthropic activities.
The day is intended to raise awareness about pressing global challenges. So, we ask you to follow our social media accounts and share at least one of our
posts with someone you think might want or need to see us. This could be a friend you know is a thrill seeker and could fundraise for us, or maybe even a family member you know who needs our services, regardless of the person we’re asking you to share our message: NO male survivor left behind
To find out more about how you can support We Are Survivors and raise funds, contact Liam: fundraising@wearesurvivors.org.uk
FUNDRAISING
SUPPORT TO THE FORE!
Renowned golf club The Mere is hosting a special fundraiser... EARLIER THIS YEAR ZACH ALI, FATHER OF ONE OF OUR AMAZING MANAGERS, WAS ANNOUNCED CAPTAIN OF THE MERE GOLF CLUB.
We were thrilled when Captain Zach Ali declared that We Are Survivors was to be their charity of the year, with the intention of hosting fundraising events at the world-class golf course.
We are planning a Golf Day event to be held there very soon. The day itself will consist of golfers playing through the regular course and raising money for We Are Survivors. But there is a twist! Near the end of the course, golfers will be offered the challenge of ‘hitting the green’. If a golfer successfully hits the green they will be placed into a raffle to win a prize donated by one of our
many supporters. Prizes include some lovely vector art pieces by Manchester’s very own Stanley Chow, and two signed books by BAFTA-winning, multi-millionbest-selling author, TV writer and performer Dr. Adam Kay!
All of the money raised in the golf year at The Mere will provide support to the 2,000 male survivors we support every year, through services such as support groups and therapy rooms. These activities allow male survivors to engage in positive healing, and help break their silence.
The event itself will be held on September 14th. If you’d like to support us by donating prizes, email volunteer@wearesurivors.org.uk
£30 DONATION
funds a Survivors’ Health Walk, a weekly stroll for a small group aimed at improving health and reducing isolation
£85 DONATION
funds a drop-in session, which is a safe and informal space to grab a brew and connect with fellow survivors and our friendly team
£200 DONATION
funds four ‘The Garden’ sessions at RHS Bridgewater, weekly horticultural sessions where survivors learn new skills, benefit from outdoor activity and develop a supportive community
£500 DONATION
funds six sessions of one-to-one trauma-informed therapy, helping a client to understand and work through the impact of their abuse
£900 DONATION
funds one place on our Healing Steps programme, twelve one-to-one sessions of advice, emotional support and practical coping strategies.
GRAB YOUR FREE FUNDRASING PACK!
To download or read our FREE Fundraising pack, just scan the QR code.
Liam, our Fundraiser Apprentice with The Mere captain, Zach Ali.
MEET THE TEAM
CHRIS SPEED
DEPUTY CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
“I found a place here that allowed me to use my skills to achieve more for clients accessing the service rather than just trying to move up some corporate ladder. But it’s not been a walk in the park. Talking about male victims/survivors in the context of VAWG (violence against women and girls) can make our allies suddenly become our competition in accessing the same funds. Whilst I’ll continue to do everything I can to make the world a safer place for my wife and my daughters, it’s clear to me that there is a need for a different strategy that focuses on the needs of boys and men. Equitable access to support for all victims of sexual violence is now what motivates me to support my organisation every day! As we grow, we must always ensure that everyone accessing service gets what they came for and we adapt to a changing landscape. I think knowing what the challenges are and how battles won have been so hard-fought, is what motivates me every time I come to work and playing my part to help the bigger picture.”
OUR STATS
Find out more about our work at: www.wearesurvivors.org.uk As we go to
*Staff Survey 2024
*Staff Survey
SUPPORTER SAFEROOM
A brand new WE ARE SURVIVORS service aimed at partners, parents and supporters of male survivors is launching soon.
Our mission statement at We Are Survivors is to break the silence of the sexual abuse, rape and sexual exploitation of boys and men, and support them and their loved ones to engage in positive healing, free from the impact abuse.
Crucially, that mission statement includes EVERYONE affected by the impact of sexual trauma, whether you’re a supporter or a survivor. We believe that recovery should be for all and that no one should be left to manage alone.
Very soon we’ll be launching a brand new support group called Supporter Saferoom. Supporter Saferoom is a peer support group for the supporters of loved ones who have experienced the impact of sexual trauma, whether you are a partner, parent or a friend. The Supporter Saferoom could be the place for you if you are going through a difficult experience and you are struggling to get through this alone. By connecting and listening to other supporters, you may
"Support can make a difference. You are not alone in your situation."
find that other supporters have faced similar challenges and found a great way to get through it. It is this shared knowledge and support that can make a valuable difference and can help you to feel that you are not alone in your situation.
We are currently developing the Supporter Saferoom and would love to hear from you about how we can support you as best as we can. If you feel that this is the right space for you, please give us a call or email us to find out more information.
E-MAIL: supporterservices@wearesurvivors.org.uk TELEPHONE: 0161 236 2182
COMMUNITY GROUPS
MONDAYS
DROP IN
A safe space to connect with peers and enjoy some fun activities.
ONLINE SAFE ROOM
An online peer-to-peer support group.
MANDEM MEETUP TALKING CIRCLE
Second and fourth Monday, hosted by our brothers at Mandem Meetup.
TUESDAYS
YOGA STUDIO
A weekly yoga session in a safe space.
THE COFFEE SHOP
Let’s grab a brew and have a chat.
THE HANGOUT
A brand new group for survivors 18-30.
WEDNESDAYS
THE ART ROOM
Express yourself artistically - all abilities!
THURSDAYS
THE BUILDERS YARD (LEGO)
Brick by brick, come and join other survivors and get building with Lego.
THE COFFEE SHOP
Let’s grab a brew and have a chat.
THE SAFE ROOM
Confidential, peer-topeer support groups where you can talk, listen and learn.
FRIDAYS
THE WRITING ROOM
A weekly creative writing session, open to all abilities.
THE GARDEN AT RHS
Get out of the city for a gardening session in beautiful surroundings (see left).
Please feel free to contact us if you’d like to know more information, or to let us know that you’re coming along to any of the sessions or groups.
E-mail: community@wearesurvivors.org.uk
Call: 0161 236 2182
SERVICES
ISVA @ WHAT'S AN ISVA?
An ISVA is an Independent Sexual Violence Adviser. The ISVA service at We Are Survivors offers confidential support, information and support to boys and men affected by sexual abuse.
Whether you’re considering reporting to the police or have already and are going through the criminal justice process, we will offer our tailored, fully independent support service designed to help and inform you every step of the way.
If you want to make a referral to the ISVA service, please call 0161 236 2182 or email isva@wearesurvivors.org.uk You can also scan the QR code to visit the ISVA page on our website.
GAYNA is an ISVA at WE ARE SURVIVORS. She tells us all about her role and the difference it can make to the lives of male survivors.
I’VE BEEN AN ISVA FOR JUST OVER SEVEN YEARS. I WAS ALREADY WORKING FOR WHAT WAS SURVIVORS MANCHESTER WHEN AN OPPORTUNITY AROSE TO DO SOME ISVA TRAINING, AND I HAD A REAL INTEREST IN IT.
So how can we support male survivors? If somebody wanted to report we can support them to make that happen. Or if they didn’t want to report, we’d still be able to support them with signposting, onward referrals, or with issues around debt or housing problems. We can also attend health appointments with our clients. There’s quite a long list of things
that an ISVA can do to support survivors.
A male survivor can come into the ISVA service at any point on their journey: once they’ve made a report, at the end of an investigation or even after they’ve gone through the criminal justice process.
It’s a personalised and independent service, which means we can meet people wherever and whenever they feel comfortable. We work with lads in prison too. We make it clear to our clients straight away - this is about you, it’s YOUR journey. Being an independent service is very important. We don’t encourage or discourage our clients to report. That choice has to be theirs alone. We’ll never judge and never say ‘you should’ or ‘you shouldn’t’. Even though we work together
with the police and the CPS, we’re always on the side of what’s best for our client. We believe that this a reassurance for survivors right from the onset.
If anyone reading this isn’t sure about contacting us, I would say come along and have a chat with us. There’s no pressure, and it’s not just about reporting - you don’t even have to be considering reporting to access the ISVA service.
Many people who have been through the ISVA services at We Are Survivors have said they wouldn’t have got through the process without ISVA support. We’ve had people actually say they’ve felt like their lives have been saved.
"It's long been thought that for some victims, attending a Police Station could be extremely stressful."
NEW INITIATIVE
NIGHTINGALE PIONEER
A brand new project has launched offering place-based support for victims engaging with the police.
WE ARE SURVIVORS HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ORGANISATION WITH A PASSION AND DRIVE FOR PARTNERSHIP, COLLABORATION AND CO-PRODUCTION.
So, it’s with huge thanks to our Deputy Mayor, Kate Green, that we have been able to create a new project with six other sexual and domestic abuse projects across Greater Manchester focused on placebased support for victims engaging with the Police.
For those individuals that wish to report their experience of sexual abuse/assault to the Police, they have been required to attend a Police station or ABE (Achieving
Best Evidence) suite where their interview is video recorded, and this recording will then be used as a significant piece of evidence in any proceeding trial.
However, it’s long been understood that for some victims, attending a Police Station can be extremely stressful, increase anxiety, and feel less focused on their needs and more on the requirements of a procedure.
Following the experience and feedback from a male survivor who, due to practical reasons during COVID restrictions had his ABE interview at We Are Survivors offices, stated how much more comfortable he felt being in a space that felt like it was for him, we decided to create change.
Working with our Commissioner, Alison, we devised a Greater Manchester wide programme of identifying and building new ABE suites in other VCFSE organisations that deal with victims/ survivors to give people an option of not having to go to a Police Station.
The organisations and spaces, alongside We Are Survivors, identified were:
GREATER MANCHESTER RAPE CRISIS (www.manchesterrapecrisis.co.uk) to support female victims and survivors
MANCHESTER ACTION ON STREET HEALTH (www.mash.org.uk) to support women who sex work who are victims and survivors
CARIBBEAN AND AFRICAN HEALTH NETWORK (www.cahn.org.uk) to support women and men of colour who are victims and survivors
FORTALICE (www.fortalice.org.uk) to support everyone affected by Domestic Abuse who are also victims and survivors and one other to be confirmed in the northern area of Greater Manchester.
These spaces have been built, or are being built, to be compatible with audio/visual equipment. Greater Manchester Police are working with us to ensure that the correct equipment is being provided.
These spaces are more than just ABE suite however. Taking the idea of ‘Nightingale’ from health, which is about pioneering innovation in wellbeing, these brand new Nightingale Suites will be spaces focused on the survivors. They are spaces for ISVA and IDVA to engage with survivor; where survivors will be able to watch parole hearings in a safe place; and in the future, we hope they will be spaces that victims can be live linked to the court room to be cross examined or to hear sentencing.
Greater Manchester is pioneering and we’re proud to be part of it.
NICK! LIAM!
THEO!
CHARGED! SUPER
Apprenticeships are not just a great opportunity to boost career opportunities, they also bring fresh ideas and approaches into the workplace. WE ARE SURVIVORS has been the proud host of three apprenticeships over the last couple of years.
SINCE OCTOBER 2022, WE ARE SURVIVORS HAS HOSTED A NUMBER OF APPRENTICESHIPS, OFFERING VALUABLE WORK EXPERIENCE, NOT TO MENTION THE POSSIBILITY OF FULL-TIME EMPLOYMENT.
Duncan our Chief Executive is clear about the importance of offering these opportunities at We Are Survivors:
“Being part of a workforce that offers apprenticeships and being an apprentice employer means that not only can we support the development of staff employed by us, but that we can employ staff in order to develop them, adding into the workforce ecology of the voluntary, community, faith and social enterprise sector.”
LIAM, who came to us from The Juice Academy, is our Fundraising Apprentice and is currently over half way through his apprenticeship. Liam has been struck at the variety of work he’s undertaken
during his time. He told us, “From being able to gather and analyse data, event management, expenditure analysis, networking and much more, each skill has been an immensely useful tool. It can be quite challenging at times but super rewarding, especially seeing the impact of the funds that are raised.” Despite the challenges, Liam has felt supported, “We Are Survivors have been so supportive, making sure I have everything I need to grow in my job role, they are so open and have always told me there is no such thing as a stupid question!” Looking to the future, Liam says, “I’d love to lead an organisation that at its core is designed to help people, so in terms of shaping my
“I’ve grown in confidence and have been able to demonstrate how my new found skills can benefit the organisation.”
future career plans this apprenticeship is the very mould I may build my entire career from. I hope to one day achieve this dream and use everything I’ve learnt to try and make it happen.”
For the past year, NICK has been a Data Literacy Apprentice alongside his regular role at We Are Survivors. “The Apprenticeship has taught me a wide range of data skills, from simple Excel formulas, all the way to creating complex Power BI dashboards. Alongside the more technical aspects, I have learnt how valuable data is to We Are Survivors and how the organisation uses it to drive decision making.” Nick has found the apprenticeship to be massively beneficial in shaping his future career goals, “Prior to enrolling on the course, I was the Data Entry Co-Ordinator at We Are Survivors, responsible for processing Referrals and further ad-hoc admin tasks. With the knowledge and expertise gained during
my time as an apprentice, I have been able to progress within the organisation and become a Data Analyst. I find my new role incredibly fulfilling and I can see myself carrying on in a similar capacity for many years to come!” Mirroring Liam’s experience, Nick found the support he received at We Are Survivors to be an important part of the process, “They were amazing during the Apprenticeship process and made me feel supported all the way. A special shoutout must go out to the Operations Team (Jamie, Sam, Rory, Tag and Kaelin), who picked up some of my tasks, to ensure I had plenty of time to complete my Apprenticeship work. As my Line Manager, Jamie was also fantastic in booking in 1:1 meetings to ensure I was progressing correctly and felt supported. Sam was brilliant in dealing with some of my (often dumb) Excel related questions, as I got to grips with understanding large data sets. I couldn’t thank everyone at the organisation enough for helping me through this process and constantly being there as a source of guidance.”
Nick has seen tangible benefits from his time as an apprentice, “The most rewarding aspect of the Apprenticeship is seeing how the skills I’ve gained have helped me develop both personally and professionally. Over the past year, I have grown in confidence in my abilities and have been able to demonstrate how my new found skills can benefit the organisation. Being promoted to Data Analyst is a clear indicator of the benefit of enrolling on the Apprenticeship and it feels great to have seen my hard work be recognised.” STOP PRESS! Just as we were going to print, Nick passed his apprenticeship exam with a distinction! Go Nick!
AWARD WINNING!
THEO has been in the fortunate position of being officially acknowledged for his achievements as an apprentice at We Are Survivors, winning Apprentice of the Year at Manchester Publicity Awards (MPA) in October 2023. Following that, Theo was also nominated and won the same award (Highly Commended) at Manchester Young Talent Awards (MYTA). Theo was also short-listed at the Made In Manchester Awards (MiMA). We’re dead proud of Theo for this recognition, and we know he has a bright future ahead!
THEO was our very first apprentice, joining We Are Survivors in October 2022 as Apprentice Content Creator. “My apprenticeship was new for both me and We Are Survivors. Being the first ever apprentice, I felt that I had a lot of living up to do as I wanted to be the best first apprentice. My role meant I had to create social media content both static and moving such as videos. I believe that the apprenticeship has really strengthened my professionalism and my creative eye, this will help in my future career as I will be more confident and methodical.” Theo saw his achievements as an apprenticeship being officially recognised, “We Are Survivors has helped support me thought the whole apprenticeship progress, pushing me to do better and grow as both a person and a professional and I’ve really seen that come through my work and my achievements. I passed my apprenticeship with a distinction. I was short-listed for three awards and won two of them!” (see ‘Award Winning’ below).
The amazing work of apprentices at We Are Survivors has a direct and positive effect on male survivors, allowing us to offer more focussed and professional work. Theo sums it up, “The most rewarding thing for me is the fact that my work is truly helping so many male survivors break their silence, my work is also being seen by different businesses and people who can make a difference as well and helping us share awareness.”
NICK
We Are Survivors Chief Executive DUNCAN CRAIG OBE on the importance of telling male survivors’ stories on mainstream TV.
TALES
“I hope survivors of abuse can see Cam’s struggles and learn from HIM that it’s okay to not be okay, and that speaking about it really does help.”
Barney Walsh (Cam, Casualty)
ON 3rd AUGUST 2024, the world’s longest running prime-time medical drama, the BBC’s BAFTA award-winning Casualty, aired a key episode in an incredibly important storyline which explores male sexual abuse and of course, WE ARE SURVIVORS were proud to play a significant part in bringing it to life.
Casualty has a very long record of exploring difficult and thought-provoking subjects, We Are Survivors has over a decade of working with TV drama telling stories of male survivorship. This journey began for us in 2013 with Hollyoaks, later Coronation Street, and more recently EastEnders, so we have a lot of experience in this area. But why do we agree to be involved? Why do we spend hours reading and commenting or correcting scripts, talking with writers, collaborating closely with actors and directors, and even engaging in the press and publicity surrounding the story? Well, that’s simple… we know the true impact of VISIBILITY.
For nearly 16 years now, we have tried to make a sound to break silence around male survivors and have worked hard to help others see those that feel invisible. I sometimes wonder if I had seen a story on TV of a boy as a victim of sexual abuse, would I have found my voice to say, ‘me too’ and avoided the prison of silence? I never saw anyone like me represented, and not only did I feel alone, but I never had the opportunity to realise what was happening to me was wrong.
WHEN WE WERE ASKED TO WORK ON EASTENDERS HELPING DEVELOP THE BEN MITCHELL RAPE STORY, there was already a public discourse evolving on the issue of consent, and so it felt vital for us to be involved.
Once the BBC publicity machine began well before the episodes were even filmed, social media blew up with thousands of comments, arguments, and debates on the telling of this story. Actor Aidan O’Callaghan (above), who played rapist Lewis Butler, spent so much time with us trying to get into the nuances of the story and even donned a pair of trainers and ran the Manchester 10k with ten male survivors from our service, raising money and awareness.
There was such an intense sense of feeling about this story that the fans started a JustGiving campaign and raised over £2,500 for the charity! I remember sitting on the tram overhearing people talking about the story and challenging their own and others victim blaming arguments.
“i opened my e-mails and saw an inbox heaving with male survivors saying ‘that happened to me’, or ‘i’ve just seen you on tv... it’s time i got help.’”
Duncan Craig on the impact of the Hollyoaks storyline.
HOLLYOAKS
Many years later I was sat on train heading back to Manchester from London, having just done the Matthew Wright Show with James Sutton as part of the publicity surrounding the John Paul rape storyline on Hollyoaks, and I opened my emails and saw a inbox heaving with male survivors saying “that happened to me” or “I’ve just seen you on TV what you said I get, it’s time I got help”. If I didn’t understand the importance of being seen from a personal experience before, now I did!
James commented that “we always knew what an important storyline this was going to be, and the response left me speechless. As an actor, to be told that what you’re doing is very real and true to life is one of the biggest compliments you can receive.” His work as a storyteller continues to be so important, and since becoming an Ambassador for We Are Survivors over a decade ago, he uses his platforms to remind others help is there when they need it.
When we returned to Hollyoaks a few years later for the Ollie Morgan/Football Coach grooming story, we all had a rough idea of the impact this story could have; but we didn’t expect how well received it would be, especially as the story aired shortly after the real-life scandal of the sexual abuse of boys in professional football clubs. We had professionals and ex-professionals showering us with praise and even a few awards for
those involved in bringing the story to life. We saw a significant increase in the number of people discussing the sexual abuse of boys and men.
CORONATION STREET
However it wasn’t until TV Executive Kate Oates, then head at Coronation Street, was sitting on the famous This Morning sofa defending our David Platt rape story and impressing on the presenters the importance of telling these stories, that we realised just how huge a story of male victimhood can be and just how much talking about male rape is still a taboo for some people.
I will forever be in debt to Kate, to Jack P. Shepherd (David Platt) and to Ryan Clayton (Josh Tucker) for how much they stood up for telling these stories, especially when people like Fern Britton were publicly criticising the show for showing the “pain of sexual abuse.” Whilst Fern may have felt uncomfortable, the vast increase in calls to the helpline from male survivors, a 1700% increase to be exact, as a direct response to the story is certainly worth the comfort of one individual. So many callers at that time expressed how they had never shared their truth before, and this was the first time they were reaching out.
I remember standing with Ryan on the hallowed cobbles, outside the Rovers Return, with both of us looking directly down the lens
James Sutton (John Paul McQueen, Hollyoaks) is also a We Are Survivors ambassador
A dramatic scene from the football coach grooming storyline in Hollyoaks
of a ITN News the lunchtime news and thinking… “this is nuts, we’ve only told a story!.”
The next Coronation Street us and the viewer in a unique way, by placing the question of doubt of ‘what happened’ at the heart of the narrative. Actor Peter Ash delivered the nuance of Paul’s story with such accomplishment that it won him the Best Newcomer at the 2020 NTA awards. In his acceptance speech, Peter stated that he was “so glad to have been a part of this and to help break the silence,” giving us a big shout out which brought thousands to our website. Whilst the creation of these stories is always done with care and attention, the timing of telling them is always important.
will explore the sexual abuse Nurse Cameron Mickelthwaite (Barney Walsh) experienced as a teenager and the impact this has had on his life today. I find myself in the usual position of talking to researchers, writers, and creatives, all holding a deep desire to tell an authentic story. Liza Melody, the Series Producer, said “we hope this storyline will help to challenge the perceptions, the stigma, and the shame experienced by male survivors.”.
CASUALTY
Fast forward to now and once again I find myself with a desk full of scripts, this time with the words Casualty emblazoned on them, turning each page wondering how the writers
Whatever happens in this story, (don’t worry, no spoilers here!), I know that so much good will come from it. But having worked on so many stories involving male sexual abuse over the last 10 years, I’m always interested in how different writers, Directors and actors approach the story. And so I asked Barney how he prepared for this storyline? He told me, “It was a tough but rewarding experience. My aim was to portray the abuse Cam experienced as truthfully as possible as this topic is something that is often brushed over or not explored as openly as it should. I spent some time talking with survivors of abuse; people that have spoken out and are comfortable to tell
experienced by male survivors.”
Liza Melody, Series Producer on Casualty
Ryan Clayton (Josh Tucker) and Duncan Craig on the set of Coronation Street
MAKING LEMONADE WITH MARK O’SULLIVAN
Brand new podcast and newsletter from writer, broadcaster and campaigner, Mark O’Sullivan.
Mark (above) wrote and starred in Channel 4’s Lee and Dean, and is the creator of ITV’s coming-of-age drama Tell Me Everything He’s also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Mark says, “I’ve had a lot of therapy. Honestly, a LOT. So much therapy that I worried for a long time there’d be none left for anyone else. But as great and important as much of that was, there’s one thing that has made an even greater difference to my life – my outlook, my determination, my mental health, my sense of not just being a bit broken - lemonade. My greatest successes and achievements in life have always come soon after my biggest failures, mistakes, disasters and disappointments. I’m on a bit of a mission: to find out what other people have made with the lemons life has given them, to help and encourage others to make their own lemonade, and to share the power and importance of creating something in the face of adversity.”
“young boys and men can be easily led into compromising situations, and i think that’s why this story is so important.”
compromising situations, and I think that’s why this story is so important. Through Cam’s storyline I hope that this will give survivors of abuse the confidence to speak up”
In this latest Casualty story, Barney talked to us about delivering a performance that he hopes shows how “Cam battles with his feelings about his past for a long time, struggles with accepting what happened to him all those years ago, and as a result his life is thrown into turmoil. His inability to confide in his friends results in him lashing out and therefore hurting not just himself, but also the people around him and the people that truly care about him.”
I asked him what he hopes this story will do?
Mark will soon be launching a brand new podcast, book and a series of talks and workshops exploring those very themes. To find out more, sign up for the latest updates and find all the links to Mark’s TV work at his website:
www.makinglemonade.uk
“I hope survivors of abuse can see Cam’s struggles and learn from Cam; that it’s okay to not be okay, and that speaking about it really does help. Unfortunately, sexual abuse is more common than we as a society think, and only by speaking can the victims then begin to heal.”
I whole heartedly agree with Barney. Male sexual abuse is more common than we as a society think or are even prepared to admit – remember, we still badge it under the heading of violence against women and girls; and thanks to the team at Casualty, in bringing this story to life, male survivors can see themselves and visibility is certainly part of healing.
in association with
VICTIMS AND JUSTICE
A new ‘coaltion of the willing’ has been set up in greater manchester to better support those impacted by the criminal justice system. JOIN US!
WHERE GREATER MANCHESTER LEADS, others have always followed and recently, the Greater Manchester VCFSE (Voluntary, Community, Faith and Social Enterprise) Leadership Group ratified the formation of a brand new leaders group for Greater Manchester –the GM Victim and Justice Workstream.
The GM VCFSE Leadership Group was originally set up as a ‘coalition of the willing’, seeking to promote the role and involvement of the VCFSE sector and communities in the Greater Manchester devolution deal. It’s purpose is to:
Champion the vital role charities play in working towards a more equal society across Greater Manchester; To bring together leaders working across sectors to achieve Greater Manchester devolution; Promote positive VCFSE change and collaboration through devolution; Create a social movement for change that enables Greater Manchester communities to become empowered
Our Chief Executive Officer, Duncan Craig OBE, is a member of this leadership group and has worked hard to create this new workstream. He told us:
“There are so many organisations, societies, and community groups across Greater Manchester that are doing amazing work with everyone who is impacted by the criminal justice system. From organisations whose role it is to safeguard victims and their families, to people working to rehabilitate individuals who have committed crimes and caused pain and trauma for victims, Greater Manchester has a rich tapestry of VCFSE support. But in a large geographical
area like ours, its often hard to know everything that is happening out there and that means that we can often miss great opportunities for both victims to get the right support, and to engage in rehabilitation post prison release. I hope that the new GM VCFSE Victims and Justice Workstream will enable everyone to connect to make the system stronger and the outcomes better for all.”
The new workstream will be co-chaired by Duncan and the CEO of Pankhurst Trust, Gail Heath, and is currently inviting organisations, representatives of groups and criminal justice system leaders to join the new workstream.
Send your contact details to ceo@wearesurvivors.org.uk and be part of a new movement.
GALLERY
Every issue we want to celebrate the creativity of male survivors. writing can be an important part of healing. If you’d like to share your work, send them to the e-mail on page 2.
AS A CHILD
by Francis
As a Child, I was a victim Of abusive power And controlled. Relationships, My ideas about Power and authority Were distorted. To protect myself, I sought in adult life, To be the person in control. I got myself into a superior position, By striving to be at the top Of my chosen tree. I could ensure my own safety, By suppressing and intimidating Anyone who might be threatening. But this was whilst on drugs, So was I really in control?
LAST THE
WORD
Njal Services Manager
TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE
TUESDAY THE 10TH SEPTEMBER IS WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY. Unfortunately, the stigma around suicide contributes to the neglect of discussing this important topic. This stigma is rooted in misconceptions and misinformation. Common labels people apply to people who have ended their own lives include ‘they are selfish’ or ’they took the easy way out’. People who have made an attempt on their life also face stigmatisation and are sometimes viewed as ‘attention-seekers’. These myths are not true and need to be dispelled. The more we talk about suicide the more we understand what preventative measures there are. Talking openly can create supportive environments where people feel understood and less isolated. When the subject of suicide is openly talked about, it normalises the act of seeking help. Talking about suicide can ultimately save lives.
According to the latest Office for National Statistics release for Suicide in England and Wales 2022, males continue to account for three quarters of suicide deaths registered (4,179 deaths; 74.1%), equivalent to 16.4 deaths per 100,000. To put that into context, the rate for females was 5.4 deaths per 100,000 in 2022. Males aged 10 to 24 years have had the lowest rate of all broad age groups since 1981, and males aged 45 to 64 years have had the highest rate since 2010. It’s important to explain briefly that most data on suicide is presented by the year that the death was registered. This is because it takes time to complete a coroner’s inquest, and it can take months (or sometimes years) for a suicide to be registered. This means the number of suicides registered in a year are not the same as the number occurring in that year.
According to a Samaritans Research Briefing: Gender and Suicide, in the UK women are more likely to experience suicidal thoughts and attempt suicide, yet men are more likely to take their own lives. This ‘gender paradox’ in suicide rates is complex and remains only partially understood. Generalising across all cases of suicide is not always helpful, but there are many possibilities that might give some insight into why the rates of male’s suicides are higher than females. For generations, societal roles have pressured males to ‘man up’. They’re encouraged to be tough, and any admittance that you’re not OK is one of weakness. It has its roots in childhood, when they hear the message that boys don’t cry. Whether it is because of stigma, ignorance, or a sense of self-sufficiency,
males are less likely to seek mental health care. Consequently, there is less of a likelihood that they will obtain the care or assistance required to manage their mental health. Men also have higher rates of substance abuse, which exacerbates mental health problems, impairs judgement and increases impulsivity, leading to a higher risk of suicide. Males also often feel a societal pressure to be the primary providers – breadwinner - for their families.
Understandably, it can be difficult to start a conversation with someone who may be feeling suicidal. Staying calm and maintaining your composure whilst taking waht they say seriously is a large part of the response. This will demonstrate to them that you feel at ease discussing this subject while providing a secure, encouraging setting where they can feel heard and validated. Conversely, be sure not to change the subject. When you do this, you run the risk of (un)intentionally of not only conveying that the subject is not OK to talk about, but also you find it uncomfortable. Be clear, empathetic, but don’t pity them. Accept what they are saying at that moment, without passing judgement or criticism. Don’t put them in a position of blame or shame by telling them to ‘think of those who you will leave behind’ for example. When someone is in a crisis, they need to be listened to and given compassion, assurance, respect, and support. Don’t try to fix them. Finally, ask closed questions like - ‘Are you having thoughts of suicide?’ - any response other than a NO is a YES.
For help and support, you can contact Samaritans and Shout. Their numbers are listed on the right. You can also contact Papyrus HOPELINK UK, who offer a 24 hour helpline on 0800 0684141 or text them on 07860 039967. Alternatively, contact Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) who operate a free, confidential and anonymous helpline every day from 5pm to midnight - 0800 585858. If you have seriously harmed yourself or you feel that you may be about to harm yourself, call 999 for an ambulance or go straight to A&E.
www.shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk
NO male survivor left behind
MAIN OFFICE
Unit 9 Brewery Yard Deva City Office Park
Trinity Way, Salford M3 7BB
Office: 0161 236 2182
E-mail:
support@wearesurvivors.org.uk
Website: www.wearesurvivors.org.uk
OTHER USEFUL CONTACTS
24/7 Support Line 0808 500 2222 247sexualabusesupport.org.uk
Shout 85258
This is as 24/7 text service that supports people if they are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Free and confidential.
Samaritans 116 123 (available 24 hours a day) jo@Samaritans.org.uk
Mankind 018823 334 244 (Domestic Abuse Support) Mon-Fri, 10am-4pm www.mankind.org.uk
Dad Matters 0161 344 0669 https://dadmatters.org.uk/
Supporting Men’s Mental Wellbeing Through Community, Activity & Purpose. info@mandemmeetup.org www.mandemmeetup.org
