SUSSEX Students’ Union Zero Tolerance Campaign
INTRODUCTION Hi Freshers! University could be the best time of your life. During Freshers’ Week, you’ll meet lots of new people, and although many of them will become your friends, some of them might push your boundaries, or make you feel uneasy. This guide gives you all the information you need, including what to do if that happens and where you can go. We think it’s good to talk about this stuff because it is more common than people think, and if you don’t know what some red flags are, then it’s harder to identify it and speak up if it happens. We want to empower you to make informed choices and to be able to say no when you want to. There can be so much misinformation about what sexual harassment is, and how to establish consent from a partner, but it’s really very easy. You can find out more on the next page. There are also a lot of myths about consent and sexual assault, such as the idea that someone’s ‘no’ doesn’t always mean ‘no.’ We’ve broken some of those myths for you on page 3. If you read a term that you don’t understand, you can refer to the glossary on page 6. If that sounds like you: don’t be that person. Remember to be aware of people’s boundaries; for some, it might seem like a bit of fun to touch someone inappropriately without asking, or kiss them (especially on a night out). But it is never OK to do that to anyone without their permission, no matter how well or little you know them. We want everyone to have a great time at university, and you can make that happen by respecting other people’s wishes and boundaries.
5 Top Tips for behaving around new people Don’t just assume anything:
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Don’t assume that people want to be hugged or touched by you. Don’t assume that people want to talk about who they’re dating or their sexual history, or that it’s okay to talk about other people’s sex lives. If you’re unsure if something is public knowledge, ask them. Don’t assume someone’s gender or what pronouns they prefer. The same goes for sexuality. Don’t assume that if you’re staying in someone’s bed that you have to have sex. Don’t assume that it’s your partners’ responsibility to look after sexual health and contraception.
WHAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT & RAPE?
the law In England, the legal age of consent to any form of sexual activity is 16 for all people. This doesn’t mean that all sexual activity gets the green light once you hit 16, however. It is an offence for a person intentionally to touch another person sexually without reasonable belief that they consented. Touching covers all physical contact, whether with a part of the body or anything else, or through clothing. Currently, legally, rape is only defined as penetration of another person’s body with a penis, but anyone can be a perpetrator of sexual assault. If you haven’t consented to sexual activity, you can choose to seek support from the police and the legal system.
The Real World As is often the way, the legal system hasn’t quite caught up with society. We see consent as both/all participants being happy, comfortable and informed about what they are doing. We know that having consent is more than your partner not saying no, as the absence of a no does not mean yes. Talking about consent can be a difficult thing. We’re never taught in school how to tell a partner what we like or don’t like, and talking openly with someone about our desires can be new and scary. But it’s important to be sure you are both comfortable and happy with what you’re doing - enthusiastic, informed consent is vital.
make sure you’re both consenting •
Good communication is so important! Ask your partner if they are enjoying what you are doing and if they want to continue, and talk about what your interests and boundaries are. You want to be sure that you both feel safe and confident that you can trust each other.
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Sometimes, it’s difficult for a person to feel like they can say no, so body language is also really important. If your partner is relaxed it is likely that they feel comfortable. If they are tense, they may be nervous or frightened and are probably trying to hide how they really feel.
SOME THINGS TO REMEMBER • •
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People shouldn’t have to be persuaded into bed. If someone has said no, you should respect that. Saying yes once doesn’t mean that you’ve consented to having sex with that person forever, or that you’ve consented to all forms of sexual activity. Just because you’ve had consensual sex with one person doesn’t mean people can assume you will consent to anything. You never owe somebody sex. Buying someone a drink is not pre-payment for sexual activity. Accepting a drink does not mean you owe the buyer anything. Consent is important for all people. The idea that women don’t have a sex drive or that men are always horny is a myth.
MYTH BUSTING
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Myth 1: Women are more likely to be raped by a stranger in a dark alley. Reality: False. The majority of reported cases have been known to be by a person that is already known to the victim, in many cases partners or ex-partners.
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Myth 2: Some women provoke rape by their provocative skimpy dresses or by their behaviour. Reality: False. A short dress does not mean a yes. There is never an excuse to rape someone, and a way of dressing is never an invitation to rape because rape is by definition nonconsensual. There is no consistency in what rape victims are wearing.
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Myth 3: People who take drugs or drink alcohol should not be surprised to get raped. Reality: False. If someone is on drugs or is under the influence of alcohol, they are vulnerable. Still that does not mean they consent to sex or are able to. You cannot consent to sex if you are unconscious.
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Myth 4: You can’t get raped when you’re in a relationship, or if you have had sex with them before. Reality: False. People can be raped by a partner in a long term relationship. If you don’t want to have sex, then that should be taken as a clear no and there is no way around it. If you have had sex with someone before, that does not mean you have gained consent from them for future times. There needs to be consent from each partner every time.
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Myth 5: Some women feel guilty after sex so they report it as rape, so we should be careful and treat any allegations as false. Reality: False. False allegations are really rare. There is no evidence that many women lie about getting raped. But, there is evidence that many women do not report getting raped because of being ashamed, for fear of being blamed for it and/or because of stigma. There is also an interesting discussion to be had around why some women feel guilty after sex. Myth 6: Women can only be raped by a man with a penis. Reality: False. Women, men, and people with other gender identities can be raped by someone of the same gender. Although the British legal definition of rape only includes a penis, the use of an object or hands is assault by penetration.
24/7 SECURITY
Map of SUSSEX CAMPUS
STUDENT LIFE CENTRE
Advice centre
SHOUTBACK SUSSEX Shoutback Sussex is a student-led initiative that provides a platform for students to let people know that their boundaries have been crossed through social media.
why shoutback Sussex? Have you ever walked down the street and had someone tell you to ”smile”? I have. It made me angry that a stranger told me what to do, and it made me even angrier that there was very little I could do about it. A lot of people experience gender-based harassment, and being told to smile is one of the least offensive situations. However, thanks to the nationwide Everyday Sexism campaign, we have records of how people are harassed and groped on a daily basis. It might sound strange to interpret that as a positive, but it disproves those who don’t believe us, those who tell us it’s not that bad, or those who tell us we should be flattered when a stranger shouts “nice arse” from a car, or when they grope us in a club. In 2010, the NUS surveyed female university students and found that 1 in 7 of them had experienced physical or sexual assault during their time as a student, and 16% had experienced unwanted kissing or touching. Although male students weren’t surveyed, other research suggests that millions of men experience sexual violence every year. If something happens to you, there are places you can go for help which you can find on page 5. At Shoutback Sussex, we believe we can help stop harassment by letting people know that these kind of behaviours are unwanted and that they are therefore not okay. We want to create cultural change where people can feel safe walking alone at night, and a campus culture where sexism, homophobia and racism are challenged.
How do I contribute to Shoutback Sussex? Shoutback Sussex is a way for us at the University and beyond to stand up to harassment, sexism, abuse and assault. It is part of a wider zero tolerance to sexual harassment campaign at the University. We have set up a Facebook page and Twitter account called Shoutback Sussex, where people can send in their experiences anonymously. We will then post these experiences anonymously, which lets the perpetrator know that what they did is not okay. A small team of three people from the Zero Tolerance group at the University read all submissions, and the only identifying info we need from you is what year you’re in, or what you study. We recognise that not only cis (1) women experience gender-based abuse. We publish experiences from people of all genders. We also recognise that abuse based on race, sexuality, class etc. intersects with gender-based abuse, and we publish those experiences too. (1)
Those who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. In a nutshell, the opposite of trans* people.
contact shoutbacksussex@gmail.com www.facebook.com/pages/shoutback-sussex www.twitter.com/shoutbacksussex
Support at Sussex There is lots of support and information for students at Sussex. The following services are free and open to all Sussex students.
Students’ Unions Advice and Representation Centre www.sussexstudent.com/advice Falmer House first floor, Sussex University campus Contact: advice@ussu.sussex.ac.uk / 01273 87 7038 •
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Confidential and independent advice and representation for students who choose to report an incident to the University or want to make a complaint against another student or the University. Information for students who have experienced sexual harassment and sexual violence.
Sussex Student Life Centre www.sussex.ac.uk/studentlifecentre/ Chichester 1, Sussex University campus Contact: studentlifecentre@sussex.ac.uk / 01273 876767 • •
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Support for students dealing with trauma, including issues around academic work and attendance. Information about University support and procedures including mental health support, complaints and disciplinary procedures and temporary withdrawal from study. Staff can also direct students towards more specialised services offered by the University and external organisations.
University of Sussex Psychological and Counselling Services www.sussex.ac.uk/counselling/ Next to the Health Centre, Sussex University campus. Contact: counsellingreception@sussex.ac.uk / 01273 678156 • •
Individual counselling, group therapy, advice and support. Counsellors with experience working with survivors of sexual and domestic violence.
Campus Security www.sussex.ac.uk/efm/services/security York House, Sussex University Campus • Response in an emergency • All security staff are trained in first aid Emergencies phone: 01273 873333 Emergencies phone (from campus landlines): 3333 Daytime enquiries phone: 01273 678234 Email: security@sussex.ac.uk
www.sussex.ac.uk/wellbeing The wellbeing pages are a great resource for you if you want to find out more about sexual health, what to do if you’ve experienced sexual assault, and other useful information.
www.sussexstudent.com