Silicon Valley De-Bug: Under the Skin of San Jose (Issue #22)

Tuesdays: Meditation Circle

What: Meditation and mental health class taught by Liz Gonzalez

Wednesdays: De-Bug on the Radio

by Miguel Gonzalez

hosted by David Madrid Mondays: Yadmon Yoga

When: 9am-10am

When: 7pm – 8pm

Thrusdays: Art night

Tuesdays: Open Editorial Meeting

ist to come together and create.

What: open art time at De-Bug for art-

What: Come share story ideas for the

When: 7-9pm

dio show.

Friday: Photo Circle

When: 5:30-6:30pm

assignments,

Saturdays: Drum Circle

KKUP

magazine, websites, televison and ra-

photos,

niques and talk about the craft.

When: 7:00pm-9pm

What: Block to Block Radio on 91.5fm

What: yoga taught by Cesar Flores

share

What: A space for photographers to

tech-

What: Cumbia drumming class taught When: 11am to 2pm Saturdays: De-Bug on TV

What: De-bug TV show on Channel 15 When: 11:30pm-12:00am

Sundays: Albert Cobarrubias Justice

Project

What: to support families who have

a loved one entangled in the criminal justice system and needs support.

When: 2:30-4:30pm

7 0 1 L e n z e n Av e . S a n J o s e C A , 9 5 1 2 6 U . S . A .

Online hub for hyperlocal ethnic news • San Jose South Bay (Vietnamese • Latino • African-American • South Asian media)

Our friend, and a true San Jose leader passed on in 2010. Albert, we will continue to fight for the community to be heard, as you would wish us to, and we know that you will be with us every step of the way.

I'm A Scrapper: Metal Into Money

C

01 ...... San Jo's Message To The Next Police Chief 03 ...... Nor-Cal Fight Factory 04 ...... I'm A Scrapper: Metal Into Money 05 ...... Rickshaws In Downtown 06 ....... Strong As Stone 07 ...... Arizona Is Hella Trippin' 08 ...... 20 Years And Still Trying To Be American 09 ...... Isolated Wax Record Label 10 ...... SJ's Open Mic Institution -- The Cypher 11 ...... Young, Black, Single, and Homeless 12 ...... Gambling Addiction 13 ...... Gay in SJ 14 ...... Josefina, But Jose To Us 15 ...... Shorty Fatz Comic 16 ....... Mental Breakdown of Unemployment 17 ...... Letters From Chowchilla Prison 18 ...... Prison Education 19 ...... A Place of Sharks Poem 20 ...... Cannery Park: Dreams & Street Culture 21 ...... Queer Pacific Islander Womyn 22 ...... Soulero's Ball 23 ...... Modern Day Lobotomies

Note to Reader:

an you imagine two Samoans riding through Downtown San Jose at 3am on the back of a rickshaw being driven by a skinny college dude? Well, it happened, and if you’ve seen it, it was probably me and my sister. I didn’t know it then, but my ride was also a preview to this issue of De-Bug. Trying to get to a party, we hopped on the rickshaw (pg.05) while leaving a taqueria just blocks away from the Washington Youth Center where NorCal fighters train youth in mixed martial arts, and turning them away from gang life (pg.03). We passed by the downtown scene, the club where MC’s battle every week (pg.10), the gay club (pg.13), the clubs that a friend of mine gets denied into because he is undocumented (pg.08). Riding through the early morning in downtown, you can see that these streets have become homes for young folks who can’t get a job in an economy that has youth unemployment at an all-time high (pg.11, pg.16), so they are finding their own hustles (pg.04). And riding by young people being sat on a corner by police, you can’t help but hope that the new police chief can change the tensions and dangers of those moments (pg.01, pg.02).

As my sister and I rode on, we realized that we couldn't go too far with the amount of money we had in our pocket and were dropped off in a small industrial area outside of Japantown, a place called Cannery Park where a new generation of urban culture is being created (pg.20).

In many ways, the freedom I saw and felt in the back of an early morning rickshaw is the theme that runs through this issue – hidden worlds in San Jose that continue to strive despite all the limitations. And that includes the voices who are part of our community, but are locked far away (pg.17, pg.18)

Because, as Ookie Robinson explains in just one line from his poem Place of the Sharks (pg.19), "Where we from, is a place not seen, yet we still inside this California dream."

-- Jean Melesaine Silicon Valley De-Bug is a project of:

NEW AM E RI CA M E D IA

Strong As Stone

Rickshaws In Downtown

SJ's Open Mic Institution

SVDEBUG@NEWAMERICAMEDIA.ORG 701 Lenzen Avenue San José, Ca. 95126

siliconvalleydebug.com contact us // follow us on

408.971.4965 Cover: Jose Martinez // Timothy Tang Art Direction/Layout: Adrian Avila Translators: Stefanie Pérez, Iliana Pérez, Angel Luna, Fernando Pérez, Octavio Martinez

Family to Family Support for False Arrests

What: An open meeting where families who have loved ones they feel have been falsely arrested can find support and guidance from other families who have gone through, or are currently in, similar situations. Families can connect with one another as a community, advocate for the rights of one another, and create solutionbased strategies. If you are an organization that would like to start a similar process at your center, contact us for a presentation.

When: Sundays at 2:30pm

Where: D e - B u g C o m m u n i t y C e n t e r 701 Lenzen Avenue San Jose, CA 95126

I

f you are the new San Jose Police Chief, we hope you have this spread tacked to the wall above your desk. It is the voices of the community that can help guide your work and improve police//community relations in San Jose. In anticipation of your arrival, De-Bug and the Coalition for Justice and Accountability held packed forums in English, Spanish, and Vietnamese to offer a space for San Jose residents to discuss their ideas for improving police//community relations. We also put out a minidocumentary series where a diverse set of residents – young people, homeless, immigrants, folks who had loved ones killed in officer-related shootings, mental health clients, and more -- gave a message directed to you as you start your new job. You can check it out on sjbeez.org. We also did a survey of over 3,000 people conducted in three languages. It should give you a sense of what standards we will hold you to and what we are expecting from you. Below are portraits from our forums and a report written by Cesar Flores who led our survey campaign. Consider these perspectives as part of your new employee handbook submitted to you by the community.

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photos by Richard Babcock

3,000 SURVEYS = 3,000 STORIES by Cesar Flores

To get 3,000 hand-filled surveys in three different languages was both a pain and a pleasure. It took lots of endurance, stamina, social skills, and of course a great team to run with. And we went everywhere to get them. We went to the flea market, community centers, malls, parks, libraries, the streets, teen homes, bus stops, concerts, and really every corner of San Jose. After we completed our goal of 3,000 hand-filled surveys over the course of just a couple of months, I felt like we had just finished a grueling workout. It was a feeling of pride that by bringing together people of all ages and backgrounds, we had done something that not only was an unprecedented effort to get community criteria for the selection of the next police chief, but will also help instruct that chosen chief as to what the community wants of them. I don’t think San Jose, or really any other city in the country, has ever gone through as extensive of a community-driven process as we just did to do these surveys, forums, and community media.

As surveyers, we got to have thousands of conversations with San Jose residents about their own lives and their hopes for improv-

Police Chief Survey Results

(Statistics based on 3,000 hand written surveys conducted in three languages.)

43% Respondents say they, or someone close to them, have experienced an incident of police misconduct in San Jose.

87% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief believes racial profiling exists in law enforcement, and will work to eliminate it in San Jose.

84% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief agree that there has been a

significant problem with the SJPD’s use of force and arresting practices for the last 3-4 years.

89% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief have a history of disciplining officers who have acted improperly.

89% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief display an understanding that those with mental health needs require a specialized response from officers in law enforcement interactions.

ing public safety. From going all around the city and getting surveys from everyone that I came across, I would have to say that the most I learned about this beautiful city is that almost everyone -- regardless if they were a student, a senior citizen, a business owner, or a homeless person -- had a story to tell about community-police relations.

Some good, some bad, some worse, some better.

Honestly, all the encounters I made with people were special and different, and it wasn’t always easy. I remember one young lady when I approached her (after getting turned down by about twenty people) really seemed excited about giving her opinion on police matters. When finishing the survey, she looked at me straight in the eye and said that she really appreciated what I was doing in getting peoples' voices heard because some people don't have time to go and speak at City Hall, even though they have something to say, especially about police issues. She then recounted a story of her boyfriend getting mistreated by police. I feel fortunate to have heard her story, as well as the thousands of others, and hope their opinions help reshape the future of police-community relations in San Jose for years to come. ⁜

86% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief have displayed an understanding and sensitivity to working with multi-ethnic communities.

89% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief have effective experience working as an officer in neighborhoods, and a history of being respectful of residents in the area.

86% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief demonstrate success in, and

a commitment to, diversifying their workforce.

90% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief exhibit a willingness to work collaboratively with the civilian oversight agency that monitors complaints against officers.

70% agree or strongly agree It is important that the next Police Chief show a commitment to not cooperate with federal immigration enforcement.

"Your first day is the only day that we allow you be a punk!"

That was my greeting from one of the NorCal Fight Factory fighters, a Mixed Martial Arts gym that has operations at the Washington Youth Center and in the San Jose Athletic Club. Part of my motivation to go by the Washington gym where they were offering classes for free for youth was the interest of Matt, one of the youngsters that comes by the De-Bug Center. He's one of those "at-risk kids," a good kid that gets in trouble because nothing amuses him. Except fighting.

I have been to various mixed martial arts gyms, and at those gyms, I used to pay up to $120 a month. Those gyms wanted to prolong the learning process so that they can take more of your money.

And in the end, my money was "took," and I learned nothing except how to do a good cardio workout. I could have gotten the same cardio workout from Billie Blanks' Tae-Bo videos.

At the NorCal Fight Factory they had us sparring the first day. I felt like I was getting a better understanding of fighting in those two or so hours than in one year at another gym. We went through all the stand up disciplines -- boxing, muy thai, and kickboxing. And after all of those stand up martial arts, we did grappling martial arts – jiujitsu (a style of grappling used in MMA) and wrestling. At the end of the day and all those years at bad gyms, I felt like we stumbled upon a gold mine. It was free of cost for youngsters who need it and was truly educational.

The more I started going, the more I started to learn about the gym. Dave Velasquez, a former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) fighter who is now retired due to a torn quadricep muscle, runs Norcal Fight Factory. He has upcoming fighters such as Dave Barrios and Alvin Cacdac who give up their training time to teach the youth.

I wasn't sure how true their intentions were when I first encountered them. I've seen many organizations who say that they "help the community" or "help at-risk youth" but once you get in there, you notice that they don't. But it's all genuine at Norcal.

The key is, Dave and the other fighters understand these youth.

He is a strong spoken guy with cauliflower ears who gives hard love.

"We operate like back in the old days when I was getting trained. The Japanese were the same way. When they trained you, they'd train you hard, and that’s what I got brought up in. So basically we do the same thing. Training here is not for the weak of heart."

His training philosophies have also become tools for youth development. He takes the right approach unlike others who try to slap a band-aid over a stab wound. He understands the situation the youth are under. He befriends them and gives them a sense that they are an equal with him and the professional fighters. Dave even moved to the "hood" so that the kids couldn't doubt him. His involvement with them goes farther than the gym itself. Dave is a trainer, counselor, mentor, and school attendance monitor. He checks their grades, helps them beat addictions and other issues that may have.

Most of the youth that come by are still in high school and anything you start at a young age will flourish into success. Sometimes the OG's look from the outside as the youth train. They don't like their "soldiers" training because eventually kids drop out of gangs and focus their energy on training for fights until they go professional. As it turns out, fighting – in a trained and controlled environment – is a great way to get youth out of gang life.

At NorCal, there are kids from opposite gangs “fighting” each other, meaning there are training partners for sparring sessions. Dave is aware of all the street dynamics that might be operating in his gym.

In the beginning, some of these training session started as rival fights, but in time it evolved into a training buddy. Relationships get built

03│winter 2010│siliconvalleydebug.com

Story and photos by Tiburon through the sweat and blood, ones that transcend colors. Dave consciously allows the kids to wear their gang colors because he knows the issues are deeper than the colors. He isn’t trying to stop the youth from just wearing their flags; he is trying to transform the way the youth see their connections to gangs and the potential of their own lives.

His technique desensitizes the youth to opposing gang colors in the gym, thus making them more acceptable to becoming friends at the end, and realizing that they are all equal.

Dave says his process is making an impact. "Once we taught them how to protect themselves, how to be confident, how to make it through things, it gave them that strength to stand alone on their own, that they realized that they didn't need the gang to survive, that they could do it on their own."

NorCal Fight Factory is a hidden gem in San Jose that really needs to be exposed to the masses so that this gym can continue getting our youth out of gangs, out of unnecessary violence, and drugs.

Through fighting and training, they have changed the mentality of youth -- the mentality that the only way to come up is through illegal activity -- and into a healthy state of mind, a good workout and hopefully into a career that can inspire the rest of the youth who may be going the wrong path.

My reasoning for going to the gym was because I love the sport.

I wanted to get in shape, plus I love beating people up and vice-versa.

These kids who are "at-risk" are just molded to be tough so fighting is perfect for them. It keeps them out of the streets, giving them something to do, and they train with professionals inspiring them along the way. ⁜

"The scrapper lifestyle can be addicting"

A

by Scrapper // Illo by Marcos Reyes

luminum, tin, brass, metal, and copper – they all scream out money to me. With the tough economy, I have to pull pennies out of the dirt. I’m what some call a “scrapper.” I pick up scraps of recyclable items left out by companies or demolition sites and recycle them. It might sound easy, but the art of scrapping is something that takes time and talent to master. It’s like a game where time can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

To scrap, you usually need a truck or a van to haul off the large items. Then you would take them to a recycling garage where prices are posted daily with how much your items are worth. Usually there is a scale for you to weigh your items on. Basically, any item is worth money as long as it doesn’t stick to a magnet. It can be almost anything: wire, pipes, tables, computers, large complicated equipment that could be taken apart and stripped for cash.

Do not be mistaken. I don’t steal or vandalize. I take and keep the environment clean. But some folks have given scrappers a bad name by destroying property in order to get a bit of copper wire.

Lately, there has been a lot of controversy behind scrapping, and law enforcement has really made an effort to crack down on scrappers. They have been advertising their efforts in the news and setting up traps. When I say traps, I mean leaving small amounts of shiny aluminum for the scrapper to take, and BOOM caught on camera.

In scrapping, timing is everything. Disguise is what will make you invincible, and knowing where to cash in and slang your scraps to the fullest is what makes you your green. I was taught how to be scrapper by an O.G. He showed me all the hot spots and how to scout. Since I’m a girl, it’s easier for me to get better prices because it’s rare for a pretty woman to step out and negotiate a man’s work. On an average five hour day, I would make anywhere from $200 - $600. With that kind of income, why go back

to a 9 – 5? The money is fast, easy, but if you don’t know what you’re doing, it could lead to a felony charge.

Companies and construction sites have grown frustrated with scrappers, because some scrappers don’t have respect. They leave a mess, take new products, and destroy sites that then take several months to rebuild from the damage made. You've got to respect other people’s time, because if not, time won’t be by your side. Another reason companies are upset is because scrap piles are worth a good amount of money. Therefore, they don’t want scrappers to come up off their profitable items. As a scrapper, I carefully select what I take. I prefer to take items that are really just scrap, not brand new items that will be used. My favorite item to come across is Copper and Aluminum. Metal, Tin, and Brass isn’t worth as much.

For Copper, you could get up to $2.50 per lb. So if I have 200 lbs., you're looking at an easy $500 just to pick up money from the floor and transporting it.

The scrapper lifestyle can be addicting. It hurts to go back to paying taxes and making an “honest buck” when what I do is hard work, and at the end of the day, I feel like it's good money earned.

I love scrapping; it's fun and it gets my heart racing. It also helps the environment and pays the bills. Always remember, when you’re making fast money, give some back to the community -- whether it be a homeless person on the street or your little sister wanting you to buy her an ice cream. Never be greedy with free money. I personally have turned down jobs and my hustle notch, because scrapping isn’t my career. I just use it as a temp job when necessary.

To all you prospecting scrappers, don’t go on a rampage and take any metal piece in sight. Weigh out the scene, in and out. Be quick, and always bless and give thanks to the business you take from. My palms are itchy. I think it’s time to clean my environment. ⁜ siliconvalleydebug.com │04

B

By Said Farah // illo by Timothy Tang

eing a struggling young artist in a foreign city with no family to speak of is no Yogi Bear pic-a-nic basket.

So when I found myself facing destitute poverty and still sending out resumés and waiting for callbacks, I decided to think creatively.

After fielding random ads on Craigslist for temporary work, I found a pretty enticing offer. The concept would be to pedal my ass off for tips on a 300-pound pedicab rickshaw, with drunken passengers on board. At first, it seemed like there were no drawbacks. I’d be able to get into good shape (which is hard to do as a half-pack-a-day smoker) while being entertained by tipsy tippers. More importantly, I could do it consistently and mold some semblance of a life around my hard-earned crumpled dollar bills. I really had nothing to lose, so the least I could do was give it a try.

I started riding around for menial tips the weekend following my run-in with the company. At first the work was grueling, to say the least. I was leading an extremely sedentary lifestyle at the time. I was eating once a day, if that, so it was beneficial for me to use as little energy as possible to stretch out my meals. I usually worked three-hour shifts at first to build up my leg strength and quickly switched over to seven-hour marathons for more pocket money. At one point I was sleeping in my car but quickly found a situation that would allow me to stay rent-free for half a month while I saved up tip money.

Being hopped up on Red Bull and hauling heavy human cargo for extended periods of time was quickly getting tiresome. I was coming home zombified every night and eating more than a pro-football offensive lineman every day. But I quickly fell in love with my newfound source of income.

Now, I’ll be the first one to tell you: the perks are what make me look forward to my pedicab hustle. Of course people want to drink with you, among other things, but it doesn’t stop there. Two words, my friends: eye candy. I guess I’m no more superficial than the next Joe in line, but it’s kind of hard to avoid scantily clad women with plenty of social lubricant in their systems. Does it help that the carts light up like a Christmas tree at night? Hell no, but you won’t find me complaining. The other night four gorgeous women hopped onto my cart. I mean, way out of my league type of girls. They had just gotten out of the club and needed a ride back to their car. The trip shouldn’t have taken more than five minutes, but I was forced to circle around for no apparent reason while deflecting their constant barrage of propositions. I’m telling you folks, I got no less than a thorough massage that night. If I weren’t Black, I probably would have been blushing.

Afterwards I had to pinch myself to make sure I didn’t doze off in front of some bar and start fantasizing on the clock.

05│winter 2010│siliconvalleydebug.com

Now, I’ll be the first one to tell you: the perks are what make me look forward to my pedicab hustle.

One weekend, I was offered to go down to Carmel for a special event with the chance of running into celebrities and getting guaranteed money as well. It was slow going at first, but I knew it would be a good night when my first tip turned out to be $20. Halfway through the night, after finally recovering from the shock at the slew of trophy girlfriends and wives outside every establishment, I ran into some former NFL players. One of them had won three Super Bowls with the Forty-Niners in the 80's and ended up giving me personal advice for close to an hour. What shocked me was how humble and down to earth he was considering the amount of success he enjoyed in his life. At this point, I was feeling pretty good. There was a steady flow of generous tips and I had gotten fully acclimated to the treacherous hills of the downtown strip.

Killing time outside of a bar with the world’s most interesting limo driver, my buddy then let me know that Bill Murray just got on the dance floor.

I decided to entertain the notion and strolled casually to one of the modestly sized windows. There he was, with that trademark nonchalant look glazed over his face while diving into a late night snack. To my surprise, Bill Murray ordered another drink and pro-

ceeded to throw down on the dance floor.

That made my night, hands down. The best part was, I must have counted my money at least eight times on the way back to San Jose. I could actually afford a car wash. This rickshaw thing was really starting to pay off.

So I guess I’ve been doing this for a month and a half now, and I’ve somehow managed to gain 15 pounds while losing body fat. The only downside is the inconsistency of cash flow. No two nights are the same and you never know what you’ll run into. I’ve seen people stage-dive off of moving rickshaws to avoid paying a non-mandatory tip. I’ve had countless frat-type dudes asked me ever so eloquently if they could touch my "wang!”

I’ve made friends with people that I’ve given rides to, which is a huge plus for someone who’s only been in the area for two months.

Overall, I can’t complain. The rickshaw has been good to my body and me, so I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. The next time you see an ordinary-looking biker hauling around overweight drunkards up Himalayan inclines while chugging copious amounts of Red Bull, make sure you get a ride with them on their way back down the hill. And, please: Tip your driver! You don’t know what we go through. ⁜

ock hard Babc ic R r to lp u n c San Jose S d Expressoiock n a m o d e t Fre Babc

by Richard Carves Ou

U

sing the direct carving method, starting the carving with no preconceptions and building ideas for the sculpture from the exterior characteristics of the rough stone, I try to release my inner self into the finished sculpture. This gives me a sculpture that hopefully a reflection of my soul.

Sculpting this way is very therapeutic for me. I have bipolar mental illness and sculpting as I do helps me deal with my ups and downs because it gives me the freedom to express myself. This is a very positive experience for me. The feedback I get from the sculpture is very rewarding and gives me a feeling of self worth.

All of my sculptures are untitled because I don't want the viewer to have any preconceived ideas of what they are looking at. This leaves the sculpture up to any interpretation. To me, they function sometimes like an ink blot and lets me see what others are seeing in what I've made. -- Richard Babcock Online VIDEO: www.siliconvalleydebug.com/0124/AD/Rich.html

I

t was a long morning; I had been at the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors meeting since 9:00 am, and it was now 12:40 pm.

I was there to speak to the Board of Supervisors about opposing “Secure Communities," a Department of Homeland Security program that would send any arrested person’s information to Immigration and Custom Enforcement (ICE). The result would be many in immigrant communities being deported at a higher rate, families being torn apart, and more fear and distrust of local law enforcement. The anti-immigrant sentiment that California so despised when it saw the laws in Arizona had come to our community, just with a different name. Instead of SB 1070, it would be called Secure Communities, and would do the same thing – deport immigrants unjustly.

As an African-American, the Secure Communities program reminded me of what my people had endured, and I was here to stand up, so such racism would not come back again.

While waiting for public comment and my chance to speak up against this proposal, all I could think about was the news regarding the people of Arizona and what they must be going through right now. I pictured them living in fear of being stopped by police officers and having them ask the question, “Let me see your papers.”

In my mind, I saw people with their heads dropped, police officers standing all around them, people’s hands behind there backs cuffed, and sitting on the ground, people standing in lines, walking inside canopy setups for the police to run background checks to see who has papers and who did not. The

ones who don’t are processed and held for Homeland Security to begin the process of deportation.

Fathers, Mothers, Sisters, Brothers, the family unit now broken. What will happen to the ones left behind? What will happen to the ones who are sent away?

Once the meeting allowed for public comment, several people gave their opinions on why Santa Clara County should opt out.

Now it was time to speak. I felt my past rise up inside me as I walked to the towards the mic, and I began to speak: I said I’m going to keep this short and direct.

“There was a people who lived a little over a hundred years ago and if they were stopped and didn’t have papers, they were take to the plantation. They were tortured and murdered.

Let’s not let this happen again to a generation. Let’s not let this happen to this generation. Let’s not repeat history again, and again.”

I said thank you and turned around and people were clapping, I wasn’t expecting that.

Walking back to my seat, I felt nervous and I had tears in my eyes. I was overwhelmed by the past. It had reached out and touched me in a way I have never felt before. A guy walked up to me, shook my hand, and said, “You gave them a history lesson.” The past was still holding on to me; tears, hurt, and pain wouldn’t let go me.

I had opened up the past, and it was not ready to go back inside of me. I said my

How Can You Ask Me for Papers : by Rigo Oliva

•

By Gail Noble

goodbyes to the other De-Bug people who were there. I told them I had to go pick–up my daughter. The truth was I was about to fall apart and needed to leave.

All that day, tears continued to fill my eyes, and in my mind's eye I could see Fathers, Mothers, Sisters, and Brothers of the past. Families being separated, the family unit destroyed because of no papers.

We had paid a dear price because we had no papers. And what a dear price the immigrants of today are paying now because of no papers, once again. ⁜

They Can't Deport Us All : by Rolando

HELLA TRIPPN' TEE

by AD Avila

07│ siliconvalleydebug.com Summer 09

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by AD Avila // illo by Rigo Oliva

T

oday marks an enormous milestone in my life. I celebrate 20 years surviving as an American. A couple of decades ago, my mother and I set off on a life-changing journey that continues to this day. With my mother being 29 years old and me being just five, we left our lives in Mexico City, Mexico and set off in search of a better life in the United States. I didn’t know when this all started that a “better life” meant one in the shadows and with a continuous fight to be part of a country that doesn’t want us.

My mother knew that if we could escape the hardships that we faced in Mexico, I would have a greater opportunity to achieve my greatest potential. Leaving our family, friends, and everything we owned behind, we boarded a plane for the first time in our lives and set off for Tijuana, the last of Mexico that I would ever see. Our first attempt to cross the U.S.-Mexican border was denied by a dozen border patrol agents in trucks and helicopters minutes after entering the U.S., which in my eyes seamed like a clip from a war game.

When we were sent back to Tijuana, my mother knew that there was no turning back. It was now or never. So after a grueling 11 hours of running, hiding, ducking, and a near-death experience, we reached the Promised Land, a land filled with opportunity, diversity, wealth, and discrimination. Its gateway was known as Los Angeles.

It is this great effort that makes me an American. While many people are born into America, my mother and I had to fight our way in. What is more American than entering a foreign land and claiming it as your own? As I grew up, I started to see signs of my “undocumentedness,” such as always having to take the bus when all my classmates' parents would drive cars. I thought it was because we were poor and couldn’t afford a car, which was true. But why were we poor? Even if I could afford a car, I couldn’t even drive to school without risking deportation.

I can recall the first time I lost a friend over my immigration status. I was 9 years old, and my friend’s parents had just found out about my status and told my friend that people like me were not good people, that we were in this country to steal and abuse, and that no good would come from us being friends. It took a good month for us to stop being friends because he knew that what his parents thought of me was wrong. Yet as with many things, I had no say in the matter.

Can’t get a drivers license, can’t legally work, can’t vote..can’t..can’t.. can’t.

The reality was that the America we were afforded only offered a 12-hour-a-day job at a produce packaging company for my mother who also suffered stress from the constant threat of losing her job due to the lack of proof of eligibility to work within the country. Even as an adult, I learned it is hard to get out of an economic situation when you have no economic opportunity. Always working only to sur-

vive, never working to strive, is a reality that many undocumented immigrants living in the United States face. Even at another job for the last 16 years, my mother still is not seen as a real employee.

Nevertheless, my mother always kept her head held high and carried herself with dignity and respect. “No matter what people think we are, mijo, remember that we are good people trying to do good in this country,” she would tell me after days when both of us would come into discrimination or limitations due to our status but couldn’t really talk about it. In a way, we felt like if we didn’t talk about it, then it wasn’t really happening.

The one thing I did have a say in was the kind of person I was going to be. I knew that I wanted to be a part of this country no matter what. Mexico might be my home country, but America is my home.

For the past eight years, I have been building and running a community organization called Silicon Valley De-Bug, serving my larger community, rather then detracting, as the stereotype goes. Through the organization, I have found my way as a video producer, reporter, and artist.

This is why I am an American; I have worked hard to do the best I can to get ahead in this world, to help out my community, my family and this country. I pay all my taxes that help keep this country moving. I have been able to complete high school, the first in my small family. I stayed free of any trouble that would land me in a different kind of cage, prison or jail. I have done my best to achieve a higher level of education, yet I've hit a wall with financial aid due to restrictions because of my immigration status. But my ceiling is not the end of the world. Being undocumented has prepared me for “no’s” and in turn allows me to find ways to be innovative in my problem-solving.

These life lessons have paved the way for me to start my own small printing business, be able to travel all over the country (one of the few rights we have as undocumented immigrants), giving talks and presentations about the many faces of the undocumented immigrant and how we greatly contribute to this society. Presentations have included being a keynote speaker in front of 3,000-plus college students in Washington, D.C., next to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Her past 20 years in America, I bet, looked a lot different from mine.

I am now happily married to a U.S. citizen and look forward to starting my own family here, making sure my children know that being in this great country is a privilege. Twenty years have passed since we first entered this country with nothing but the clothes on our backs, and here we still stand as undocumented as the day we first stepped foot in this country. We might not be American citizens, but no one can tell us that we are not Americans. ⁜ siliconvalleydebug.com │08

R

ecord labels are moneymaking ventures. They package art in neat, organized boxes and sell them for mass consumption. These companies are about the bottom line—generally not so concerned with the artists who create the music.But what happens when a few artists with big ideas, major talent and a penchant for pushing the envelope decide they’re going to start a record label and run it the way they want? Well, with Isolated Wax Records, the traditional business model takes a beating from a couple of San Jose’s biggest hip hop heavyweights: Dave “Dave Dub” Whaley and Chip “Megabusive” Lyas.

“Isolated Wax is a communal record label that will set new standards in the independent hip hop scene scheme,” Whaley said. “The industry has been shattered into millions of pieces, if you study the math. We are taking the shards of glass we’ve gotten our hands on and are literally creating a new mirror.” Formed in 1994, Isolated Wax started with Whaley, whose albums were all Isolated Wax releases. In the early 2000s, the label began to take shape with multiple artists—most of whom remain on board.

“Isolated Wax is about the artists,” Lyas said. “It is our solemn belief that our brand of progressive releases has a place in today’s market, just as it has since the inception rap music and hip hop culture. Where other labels—even other indie hip hop labels—tend to lean toward tried formulas, the total nonadjacent aesthetic in our catalog is desired by a niche group, and we feel it is our responsibility to make the music available to them.”

Among independent hip hop heads, Whaley and Lyas have huge reputations.

Seen as two of San Jose hip hop’s godfathers, Dave Dub and Megabusive are synonymous with a particular sound—two artistic geniuses with style and finesse. Their albums are called legendary by many and even their ex-

09│winter 2010│siliconvalleydebug.com

ploits come across a s z ep Pe y Ja By s o m e thing out of A e sop’s Fables. It’s easy to see how these two men would create their own path … would do it their way.

“We’ve had plenty of obstacles and shit, but anything worth keeping demands blood, sweat and tears,” Whaley said. “I know we’re going to be one of the greatest labels ever.

It’s a house party where you’re not so sure if it’s gonna get shot up, but you’ll go anyway." Lyas said there is a simple list of goals for the label: being a viable source of intelligent, aggressive music with few boundaries, providing their artists with healthcare, inspiring youth to think outside of the familiar, and raising awareness of societal decay. “All the fun stuff,” he said. “We also want to make money—quite a bit of money.”

Isolated Wax and its artists have built a

“Isolated Wax is a communal record label that will set new standards in the independent hip hop scene scheme.” loyal following with grassroots models. San Jose may be a city of a million people, but there are few opportunities and fewer venues, which Lyas said makes it important to be familiar with the resources available.

Word-of-mouth marketing has gone digital with Isolated Wax active on social networks and online at www.isolatedwaxrecords.com.

Lyas is also active in trying to hold more allages shows in San Jose, which are sorely needed due to the city’s focus on nightclubs and bars.

“The city has not been overly cooperative in providing our youth and community with alternative options for entertainment,” Lyas said.

The label’s current roster of artists reads as a who’s who of boundary-pushing, independent hip hop: Dave Dub, Computer Chip (Megabusive), NGAFSH from CVE, Barry Bones, Persevere, Peaceshine, Vida Kills, Opski Chan, Usual Suspics, Deform, Subcontents, Executive Lounge, Reverend Purgatory, Boxcar Atoms, Mextape, Da Hermit, Dem One and Sub Ren. “What we think is fresh, we press—supporting our local artists especially,” Whaley said. “But our vision is definitely beyond San Jose. We’ve got Isolated East and are trying to set up shop in the U.K.”

For a taste of what awaits on Isolated Wax and other music, Lyas and Whaley have a weekly Internet radio show on ustream.tv on Monday nights from 9 to 11 p.m. Lyas said it’s nothing serious, but just a chance for them to share good music with friends and supporters. “We hope people tune in Monday nights and hang out for a couple hours,” he said. “We’re dedicated to our 25 listeners.” Isolated Wax artists will be touring throughout the country this year. Details will be available on the website. Whaley said artists shopping their music can send it to Isolated Wax as well.

“If you’ve got some savage material, send it to us,” he said. “We make records and we listen to everything.” ⁜

AVAILABLE NOW ON ISOLATED WAX RECORDS

Dave Dub // Trash Data (at accessmusic.com) Megabusive // Cardinal Syntax (on iTunes) Subcontents (Dave Dub feat. Matt Gamin) // Bay of Pigs EP (free at isolatedwaxrecords.com) Computer Chip // Hello World EP (free at isolatedwaxrecords.com) DUE FALL 2010 Barry Bones // Sweatin’ in the TeePee Persevere // ’97-’04 (including singles released by Stones Throw) The Usual Suspics (Bizmo and Ox) // Five-song EP produce by Barry Bones

Story and photo

by Kalizay

“8 bars, pass the mic!” That’s what you hear when one of San Jose’s many aspiring emcees has to give it up for the next rapper eager to shine and gain exposure. This is The Cypher. Every Wednesday night you can walk down Santa Clara Street and hear one of the only open mics strictly dedicated to freestyling.

The Cypher is made up of DJ’s and Emcee’s getting together to keep San Jose’s Hip Hop scene alive. Hosted at Johnny V’s in Downtown San Jose, The Cypher provides a platform for up and coming emcees to showcase their skills along to a varying musical backdrop courtesy of the resident DJ’s and live musicians spinning an eclectic mix of Hip Hop, Dub Step, and many other genres. Battle rap outside in the fog of cigarette smoke because inside we keep it flowing on the positive tip, although rhyme skills are a must if you wanna keep up with the true lyricists.

I caught up with host and co-founder of The Cypher Audio Dru to learn more about the origins and inspiration on how The Cypher came about.

K: How would you describe The Cypher?

Dru: We host THE CYPHER for the vast amount of talent in the Bay Area. The CYHPER pretty much books itself. There is no cover charge and the artists perform on the strength. It’s what San Jose needs. There are always out of town acts on tour that want to perform in our city. It’s just a stage for them and to collaborate and network. The Cypher has gained reputation in the Underground scene nationwide, even in Canada.

K: How did The Cypher begin?

Dru: The Cypher was formed by myself DJ Tarzan and only a handful of MC’s to put it down such as: E-sik, Harmonize, Meezy, Kung Fu Vampire, and Jonah of Timeless, to name a few. The Cypher was originally called “Jumbo." It was all Jungle/Drum’N’Bass with freestyle rap over it. We had it on Thursdays at Johhny V’s. The Cypher has been around since December 2006.

With numerous resident djs and emcees over the years, new generation talent continues to emerge. I also spoke with DJ Luicidal, a resident DJ at The Cypher and Program Director for KSJS.

K: As a Program Director for San Jose State’s radio station and the host for “Illphonics,” how does your show tie in with the Hip Hop scene in San Jose and The Cypher?

LUICIDAL: I feel that San Jose has a lot of talent that should be heard on a professional level. Many of the artists that we play at the station comes from The Cypher. If you get noticed at The Cypher, you can network and build a base to eventually get your music played on air. As for my show Illphonics, I try to play the freshest music from around the country, with plenty of exclusives and unreleased music. I always go back to the roots of San Jose and focus on local artists for a certain period of the show. Lastly, I close out the show with “Freestyle Fridays.” This segment is a fan favorite and is where local emcees and established artists have to step the microphone and display their skills live over the airwaves.

K: How long have you been a part of The Cypher?

LUICIDAL: I joined The Cypher Squad over 2 years ago. I was proud of being a part of an event that focused completely on the music. After joining, I worked hard to bring brand new artists to the San Jose scene, as well as have San Jose artists network with others. Anyone can take their shot at rocking the microphone. It’s interesting to see what amateurs can do when put on the spot. Aside from that, when real emcees step to the stage to rock the mic, we do judge them, and if they come wack, we will let them know. Furthermore, if they come with some tight flows, we always give them props along with the crowd.

K: What can the next generation expect from The Cypher?

LUICIDAL: The next generation can expect a bigger Cyhper. Our Cypher Squad consists of djs and rappers, and we are growing a lot. We are also incorporating new genres of music such as Drum n Bass, Jungle, Soul, and Dubstep. We eventually want to have a Cypher tour in the Bay Area.

And The Cypher is not just for emcees. For musicians like Fabian Toledo, it’s a positive space to practice and vibe to the music.

Toledo, who has been a part of The Cypher for two years, is the resident drummer whose first love wasn’t hip hop necessarily, but goes for the variety of music that he gets to jam out to. “If it wasn’t for The Cypher I wouldn’t practice my drumming as much, I like the Cypher for the variety of music genres it gives to the emcees,” says Toledo. Throwing different genres to the crowd keeps it fresh and challenges the emcees, which helps with the ever-changing music scene. The Cypher is a place where emcees can go to practice their mic skills and learn from other artists. There is so much you can get out of The Cypher. It’s up to you to absorb it. ⁜

siliconvalleydebug.com │10

I’ve been laid off from three jobs across three industries -- electronic assembly, telephone connection, and video editing -– over the course of one year. The assembly job lasted two and a half weeks, at which point a manager told me the temp agency that hired me said they were letting me go. To this day I don't know why. The telephone work dried up as a result of a misprint in my boss's phonebook ad.

She just stopped getting calls during what should've been the busiest time of the year, and we didn’t figure out what happened until I was about a month into work as an editor. The editing work went away when my studio's contract providing me with steady work fell through.

I won’t have any help from the state, and I’m fresh out of floors to sleep on.

M

By La Mar Williams // Photo: G$

y birthday is coming in a couple of weeks. It’ll be my 25th, and it falls on a Saturday. Saturdays have always been kind of important to me because ever since I was little, they were my day for cartoons and video games.

It’s how I’d like to celebrate – a bunch of cartoons, some people around, drawing, a pot of chili, and maybe a few beers.

But first, I have to find a place to stay. Currently, I sleep on the floor of some friends' apartment, and I have no key. This is a blessing, and I’ve had worse accommodations (try the backseat of an old Toyota 4Runner with no back window in the dead of winter). But there is something maddening about not being able to come and go as I please. In any event, I’ve only got this arrangement until March 1, at which point I’m back to my own devices.

Now, before I landed in my current stitch, I checked out every state program I could find. Help for immigrant refugees, help for families, for women, for long-term homeless, for minors – nothing for an able-bodied man down on his luck. And when I say “down on his luck,” I mean it. I’ve been unemployed, with a few short stints of employment, for three and a half years –- so long that I don’t qualify for unemployment.

And I do everything. I write, I edit video, I install car stereos, cook, clean, drive, shoot pictures and video, garden, watch dogs, teach, program in C++ and Python – but no job has ever worked out for long. I’ve got a smell on me or something--too much ambition, too much of an independent spirit. Or maybe it’s just a smell?

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This time last year, when the California unemployment rate reached 10.5 percent, the rate for Black males was 16.3 percent. My resumé was everywhere, and I can't remember any actual interviews from the period. I moved into my grandmother's house and helped with errands and maintenance while I waited and prayed to find myself back on my feet. One in five Black males share my story, and it wasn't too long before my uncle, a truck driver with more years of experience than I've had birthdays, joined me as a statistic staying under my grandmother's roof in Poway, a small town in north San Diego county.

My father, who moved across country not even a year before because of a promotion, had at this point changed his tone in our conversations, from "Son, you need an income. You have to go find something, anything," to, "Times are hard, and I feel for you." He'd also gone from telling me when I was in high school that he didn't want to hear about me enlisting in the military (“Boyz in the Hood” was one of the first movies I remember seeing in a theater, and the line, "the Black man has no business in the white man's army" had always been a favorite of my dad's,) to being a bit more accepting of the Navy, since at least I wouldn't end up in Iraq.

Meanwhile, I’ve been filling out applications, sending out copies of my resumé, writing cover letters, and putting hours of research into companies I'd never hear back from. And the statewide unemployment rate for Black males climbed over 17 percent, while the rate for white males was at 9.4 percent. Shit was rough.

It was around this time, sitting in a community arts center, which has become a respite for other creative 20-somethings who can’t find stable employment, that I wrote on a sheet of paper, “If no one else will hire me, I might as well hire myself.” Things began to turn around. I set to work on projects that were important to me, and it resonated with the people who were already there. I’m more creative than I’ve been in a long time, and I feel better about what I do every day than I ever have.

But it’s a little too late to turn the bus around. I won’t have any help from the state, and I’m fresh out of floors to sleep on. I should be more afraid, but it just doesn’t bother me so much -– I know something good is going to happen.

On any given day, I probably don’t have a dime in my pocket, and with freelance gigs, it sometimes takes a while for checks to be turned around. Plus, my credit is just bad enough that any place with a rental application probably isn’t an option.

But I love it in San Jose, and I’ve got work to do here, no matter what my situation. The people have been kind enough to take me in when I had no place to go, to feed me when I had no food to eat, and have made for good company when it came down to talking shit over a game of cards. So I owe them every scrap of energy I can muster.

Thank you, San Jose, for being my home. ⁜

I were consciously naïve about the whole situation, in reality we knew we only had each other. I felt a lot of pressure to make someone of myself, since I knew I would have to contribute to my familly even at a young age.

I didn't know what I would want to be, but I knew not to be anything like my father, at least in terms of how to handle money. My brother felt the same way. Our family experience was defined by our financial struggles.

I even tried to research the issue, and according to America's Mental Health Channel, some signs of gambling as an addiction are loss of control, illegal acts, lying, bail out, preoccupation, and withdrawal. These are things that I grew very accustomed with.

It gave me comfort finding out that I wasn't the only one but at the same time that comfort felt strange. My friend Nga Nguyen

y Ngo

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by Th

M

y family faced problems because of my stepfather’s addiction that led to financial problems, which eventually led to family trust issues among other things. He was addicted to gambling. I found out later on in San Jose that there are many, many people from the Bay Area of all sorts of backgrounds that have the same problem.

But once I started talking to friends of mine, I noticed a lot of families in the Vietnamese community in San Jose have suffered in the same way.

Many Vietnamese people, young and old in San Jose, seem to have a great passion for gambling. At many Vietnamese shopping plazas, there would be people playing Ba Cau, dice, chess, and card games like Black Jack on a day to day basis. The group would be as many as twenty to fifty people sitting around tables, watching others gamble, and waiting for their turn to gamble whatever they had, even it may be their family's last money.

People would talk in both Vietnamese and Chinese, yelling at the players, and trying to figure out how to win.

At casinos like Bay 101 and Garden City, women would go there to fish out their husbands and family members so that they could

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pay their bills that month. That was our family.

Usually the people sitting around the casino tables and the tables in the Asian plazas were middle aged to older adult Vietnamese men.

My stepdad was one of them.

My stepfather's gambling addiction had gotten so bad that my mother was always chasing him everytime his paycheck came.

And I, along with my younger siblings, sat in the back of the car as she chased him. My mom would pick us up from school to drive to his workplace and have us wait there while she went to confront him. He would usually be working on some shift in the afternoon while my mom forced him to hand over his check at the company’s payroll office. He was a machinist, and she worked as an assembler in a semiconductor company making satellites.

Even though they pulled in a double income, they still had to rent out all the rooms (including the garage) in the house to afford the mortgage and necessities for our family.

We (kids) were in elementary at that time. I didn't know what to think of it since I was only ten. We lived coldly with each other as a family, not knowing how to relate to people both outside and inside the family after a series of years. Even though my younger brother and

My stepfather's gambling addiction had gotten so bad that my mother was always chasing him everytime his paycheck came. and I had a lot of similar experiences in our family’s journeys through gambling addiction.

Her situation almost completely mirrored our situation at our household.

Our mothers were the ones keeping our families together when things went down. Her mother took some of the same measures to remedy their family’s finances. Her family spent a lot of time being as frugal as can be, more so than the incomes would imply. They scrimped and saved after any purchase that they would make for the livelihood of the family. There was a time when her father staged a burglary to cover up for the money lost at that time from the casino. She said, “I felt angry, disappointed, and betrayed by my father’s actions."

Sometimes I feel that we could have done a better job to help my stepfather with his problems. I sometimes think his actions were a result of a long rocky marriage, feelings of depression, and a loss of hope that things would ever get better. In the end there was a lot of analyzing we all did, the "what if's" or the "could be's." But at the end of my mom’s marriage to him, the finalization of their divorce was his only wake up call to his gambling addiction. There was nothing that could get him to stop his addiction. I think things could have gotten worse, and at least, we all survived. ⁜ siliconvalleydebug.com │12

G

by Kash wid a K // illo by Jose Martinez

rowing up in Walnut Creek, California, the community is usually either white or Asian with specs or Black and Latino. I’m Black, and my best friends were Filipino and white. Of course, it's easier to hang out with your own race, but easy isn’t fun. I hung out with everyone that I could relate to on one platform or another. Race in my opinion didn’t matter, but then again, I was raised to believe in cultural tolerance.

When I realized I was gay, I started to go to gay-oriented youth groups that brought together all backgrounds with the same understanding. Race again didn’t matter. If anything did matter, it was our individual struggles with our sexuality that brought us together in such a way that bonded us. Everyone knew everyone. Better yet, everyone accepted everyone.

The smaller community within the community was mixed, mingling, and very open. When I say a smaller community, I'm not just talking about Walnut Creek or Concord; I’m talking about ALL of the 925 area code.

When I moved to San Jose about five years ago for college, I was ready for change, city lights, and expected the same open-armed welcome that I had been accustomed to. But I found it odd that the only welcome arms I saw were the ones with the same color as mine. For a couple of years, trying to not be the odd man out, I silently conformed. When I asked my friend if he saw San Jose’s gay community as being divided, he quickly admitted that it is. He laid out the rules. “The Asians hang out with Asians, the Latinos are glued to the Latinos, the whites are clicked up with the whites, and the Blacks are the same.”

Whenever I’d go to the Brix or Crave in San Jose, which are popular gay clubs for the younger 21+ generation, it seemed like each race intentionally segregated themselves. I’ve never seen anything like it really. Each group takes up a section of the club. The only mix is when you get to the bar, and that's only because seating is random and people are just trying to get more drinks. The vibe of

the club is overwhelming. People don’t really mingle. They tend to stay with their friends. Things have definitely changed for the worse.

When I was younger and used to go to a club called Cribs in San Francisco, the vibe was way more relaxed, and people weren’t afraid to talk to people. I danced with all different kinds of girls and boys.

It was fun, knowing that I was free. In the San Jose community, I feel way more confined and restricted to talk to a certain group of people.

Being that I was brought up in a city where there were very few of my own race, I was pushed to be open-minded. It also taught me how to gain acceptance from ethnic and racial groups different from my own. I've brought this practice to San Jose. I’ve been in situations where I was only accepted by a group of Hispanic girls because someone pretty much had to vouch for me. Because I was brought in by one of their “own,” my presence was validated.

I feel like in situations where different groups are clicked up, no one goes out of their way to go outside their comfort zone, which is obviously easier said than done, but necessary for more diversity. Most of the people that I hang out with from different races are because we have mutual friends and ended up having a connection that pushed us towards friendship and beyond the differences.

I think there are a lot of things that are lost by sticking to your own race, such as diversity in the mixing of cultures so that it’s not so black and white. I think a sense of carefree and “love” is lost as well as tolerance. At the end of the day, relationships should not be based on race, but on a mutual commonality regarding likes and dislikes.

I wish that San Jose could be as free and open as other parts of the Bay Area’s gay community. I know that things won't change over night. But I think in order to begin change, the acknowledgment that there is a problem that needs solving is the first step. ⁜

When I came to San Jose, the only welcome arms I saw were the ones with the same color as mine.

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support my grandma and her six kids for many years. As the years passed, my aunts and uncles got married and started their own families. Eventually, it was just my grandma and José. They lived happily together. José worked and my grandma would cook for her when she got home, have her clothes ready and sandals at reach.

It was a mutual relationship, one that I admired and missed dearly when my mother decided to move to San Jose, Calif. My heart tore apart having to leave José. I still remember how much I cried the day of my flight. Though I was only seven and didn’t understand much, I did know for a fact how much I needed José and how much I was going to miss her.

I visited Tijuana every vacation I had, never missing a chance to be with her and my grandma. Though I didn’t spend every day with her like before, the days I did spend with her were the best. I was getting older and my relationship with José only grew. I was able to admire her more and value her as the woman she was.

Josefina was the tomboy type: very short hair, T-shirts and shorts.

She was fun, active, funny, and intelligent. She was a math teacher at a university for a couple of years and a nurse before that. We would go to the park and talk and joke for hours. Never was there a dull moment with her. In my days of sadness, she was the only one capable of getting that smile out of me. She was there when I cried and when I laughed. Josefina gave me the best years of my life.

She gave my grandma the best life she could, as well as my mom.

José gave us the best of her.

On January 27, 2005, Josefina passed away. What do you do when someone you love is no longer present? How do you cope with the hurt and guilt of not having had the chance to say goodbye? How do you deal with the never-ending agony of losing someone who took half your life with her? I still don’t know the answer to that. Josefina’s death marked all of my family, but scarred me for life. Josefina was a warrior, a fearless fighter. She was strong and a leader. She is responsible for all I know about being a person.

By Melissa Vargas She taught me the essentials of life. What hurts the most is that her time ran short. She didn’t get the chance to see me fully grown. She hey say that family is not the one you share blood with but didn’t get to see me learn and succeed. She didn’t get the chance the one who would give their last drop to save your life. I to hear what I had to say. She didn’t hear me beg her to stay. José agree. Josefina Esquerra Aviles was not a blood relative, was like my mother. She was the best friend you only find in the but that wouldn’t have made us any closer than we were. movies.

Josefina or, as I called her, José, met my grandmother for the first

I remember José every day. There’s not a day when her face time in the San Diego jail in 1986. They became the best of friends. doesn’t pop up into my mind, or her voice doesn’t guide me. I know When my grandma got out, José promised to look for her when she she is with me. José is gone, but always got out. They were inseparable ever since. in my heart. That is why I thrive to do my José taught me that being a

My grandparents got divorced, so my best in life. This is why I do well in school; woman is not determined by the grandma was a single mother of six chilthat’s why I try to be the best daughter I dren, including my mom. Thanks to José, size of your chest or how much can be. I do this so that when that when my aunts and uncles and, most importantly, make-up you use. It’s not deterwe meet again, I can look straight in her my mother, had the father figure they lacked mined by how low your skirt is eyes and say, "Thank you. Thank you growing up. Josefina and my grandma raised because thanks to you, I’m someone in or how high your heels are. the six of them in Tijuana in Baja, California. life. Thanks to you, I know what being a Josefina loved them as if they were her own. From doctor’s apwoman is. Thanks to you, I became the best woman I could be." pointments, parties, days at the park, to my first day of school, José

José taught me that being a woman is not determined by the never left my side. For as long as I can remember, she was the one size of your chest or how much make-up you use. It’s not deterwho stood by me day and night, rain or shine. José attended my mined by how low your skirt is or how high your heels are. Being school events; she potty trained me and scolded me when I would a woman is when you know what it is like to go to work and take act out. José was the one who taught me right from wrong. She care of a home. When you put your kids and loved ones before taught me blue and red, yes and no, hot and cold. José taught me yourself. When you give your love unconditionally. When you are to love but not hate. She taught me to like those who disliked me, capable of laughing when you feel like crying. When you make a and to even love those who said they hated me, because those difference in someone’s life. A real woman is a strong individual were the ones who were in desperate need of it. and so unique who shares her wonders and beauty with the world.

José bought me clothes, shoes, my school books, and my faThat is a woman. Josefina was a great woman. I cherish and value vorite vanilla ice cream. She would wake me up with a bright smile, her, and forever thank her. ⁜ and with a warm kiss would tuck me in at night. Josefina worked to

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// photos by Steven Shimamoto

hile sitting in the café lobby of a brand new tech building in North San Jose, I signed my name on the last piece of paper of a new employee packet for my new job as a dishwasher at a national catering company. It felt good to be able to shake the boss' hand after I filled out the forms, or even have a boss to shake hands with once again. I felt reborn.

Since March of 2009, I have been led on a wild goose chase for the perfect fulltime job. I have traveled across the state, even went outside of the state pursuing odd jobs of varying tasks. I’ve worked in event set-up, was a security guard, and even a traveling soap saleman. After a year, I was still lost and confused, and ultimately frustrated with the economy, employers, and myself.

It wasn’t easy getting this job. I had been staying on the streets, had to get cleaned up at a public restroom downtown, and had to travel three hours using my last five dollars, just hoping to land it.

But I got it.

After leaving the building of my future livelihood, on the light-rail back to San Jose from Milpitas, I couldn’t help but to look back and take a glance in disbelief. I finally got another opportunity to have full-

time employment, and even have medical and dental benefits, something very few people my age (at 23-years-old) have through their work. Having a job means I can really live again. When I say live, I mean actually live a decent life of renting my own pad again, buying some new clothes, paying for a decent meal, and

It wasn’t easy getting this job. I had been staying on the streets, had to get cleaned up at a public restroom downtown, and had to travel three hours using my last $5. finally being able to enjoy things without having to be dependent or having to wait on someone to help me with a handout.

What the high unemployment statistics don’t show is the direct hit mentally, even nervous breakdowns that not having a job can bear on a person. Unemployment can steal all of the faith you had right from inside of you.

After a few days into the new job, I also made a new friend at work. We got

along, and he was nice enough to even let me stay at his house with his family. While staying there, I noticed a jump in different lifestyles between what I thought was privileges, is pretty much normal day to day life for others. I was so used to sleeping on the street that even in the apartment, I slept with all my clothes and shoes on. It took a while to know that I can actually fully sleep, and not have to worry if anyone was trying to harm me or take any of my belongings, that I could really just rest. Unemployment becomes psychological because it forces you to create a completely different lifestyle of what you once had, and you can get used to that lifestyle.

I noticed what I had gotten used to as someone without income when I got my first check. We went shopping and I felt I had splurged a little bit on myself – buying some new clothes. It had been so long that I didn’t know any of my sizes, and was scared to put them on because I didn’t want to get them dirty. I was terrified of putting them on because I wasn’t sure how long it would be until I would receive some new clothes. It was a habit from the streets, so it took a while for it to sink in that I was working full-time, making decent money, and I could buy some more clothes and afford to wash them.

I’ve been working at my new job for a few months now and am getting used to the stable living. The work may be tedious manual labor, but every two weeks, I look at my paycheck and smile. After a hard day’s work, I get to go home to take a shower, watch tv, or just chill.

With this new job, I feel as though this is the start of a new foundation for my life with a grand opening. It’s like watching a building being built. My foundation has been built on an empty lot with bad piping and bad soil, with sewer water running everywhere. But with every new layer of foundation laid-down comes a purification from the new piping and new soil.

My first level of my construction has already started with my housing situation becoming stabilized and starting a bank account. Even though I have only 25 bones in my checking account, it sure feels better to have 25 bucks than nothing at all.

I still have friends that are still lost in the mix of unemployment, doubting their own capabilities of getting back into the workforce, school, or society for that matter. The feeling of rejection can haunt anyone and scare them away from an opportunity that could be theirs if they reach out for it. Those feelings really just interfere with the greatness that we all know deep down inside that we can accomplish. ⁜

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United Playaz, an organization that supports those on the inside, has been building with women incarcerated at Chowchilla Prison. In a unique bridge-building effort that rose above prison walls, Abe Menor, through the efforts of United Playaz, facilitated a writing project where the women wrote letters to San Jose youth about their lives, prison, and their hopes for the community. The following are some excerpts of the correspondence.

To Whom It May Concern: t the tender age of 17, I was offered a plea bargain of 250 years for being a gang member involved in a drive-by shooting. I thought I had homeboys who was supposed to be down for me, which they wasn’t. They turned state evidence on me.

They got on the stand and spoke on things that had nothing to do with the crime at hand. Naturally they was released while I got a 61 to life term. The cold part is they call themselves men. The purpose of my life story is to let you see life can be handed to anybody.

The system wants gang members - Blacks and Mexicans because they feel we’re not worth being anything in life but a waste of air, so why not lock us up for lengthy sentences and get paid legally?

In prison we work for 8 cents a hour. I shouldn’t say work. I really mean slave for pennies, not to mention the emotional feelings you must deal with. The simple questions with no answers such as, am I going home? When will this nightmare end? Will my mom still be around to see me come home? Will my kids remember me or accept my past faults? Why me? These emotions and physical issues are some things you will have to deal with. By that, gangs aren’t for anybody. Focus on your education and staying positive and productive. Do positive things and remember just because you’re young doesn’t mean it can’t happen to you. Nowadays us juveniles are being tried as adults, which means adult sentences.

Think before you act and don’t let anyone’s negativities direct you into doing things that aren’t positive.

* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -*

Much respect,

LW To Whom it May Concern: was 16 years old when I was arrested and this was 20 years ago.

Today, I am 36 years old, and I have spent more time incarcerated for the same crime than I have been out in society. I was tried as an adult and sentence to 25 to life. At the age of 17, I started my time in the California Youth Authority. Scared, alone, and confused and away from my family, I had a different adjustment period. I have spent all of my 20’s and nearly all of my 30’s incarcerated. My 16th, 18th, and 21st birthdays were all behind bars. These birthdays should’ve been a pivotal time for me and they were far from that.

Throughout my incarceration I’ve seen suicides, brutal beatings, drugs, people nearly OD. I myself have endured the severe pain of losing a loved one and not being able to say goodbye and comfort them. I’ve felt the pain and loneliness of family and friends forgetting about you because you’re (I’m) locked up. Life goes on for people and I’ve become a memory. Due to my selfish actions not only did someone lose their life, a family lost a daughter, sister, and granddaughter. My own family also lost me, their only daughter. My family is locked up with me too -- mentally, that is -- in that they also have lost their daughter in a sense.

I

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I have many plans for my future; I have always wanted to help troubled youth. And being a founder of the Young United Playaz Program has only instilled that want in me even more. I want to reach out to troubled youth and provide better opportunities for a brighter more successful productive and future. I also plan on advocating change in the legal system eliminating giving anyone under the age of 17 a life sentence. I am very passionate about this.

I have done a lot throughout my incarceration such as, obtained an Associates Degree, a Bachelors Degree in Business Management, became a certified paralegal, a certified lifeguard, and I have been a facilitator for many self help groups. Life is what you make of it and I’m here to tell you that it can all be done in the blink of an eye. So don’t live for the moment, it’s not worth it. I’d do absolutely anything to be able to turn back time and try this all over again. And the real sad thing about my situation is that I am not the actual perpetrator in my case. Don’t let this happen to you. Think before you act. Be careful of your friends and surroundings and never forget that you are loved, cared for, and cherished by many. Life is what you make of it; make it a good one. Good luck in your life’s journey.

-* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -* -*

Thoughtfully,

Anna H.

To Whom It May Concern eing born in Compton, California in the early 80's, I grew up in a time when gangs were very popular. I quickly learned, bang on your own free will or be forced into a situation you have no control of. So I decided to bang. Being young and wanting to be accepted in that lifestyle, I’ve done some things that made me wish I was never created. When I became a teenager, I was buck wild. When I hit 17, my karma knocked the life out of me. I’m paying for it now with a 61-life sentence. I could make the decision to dwell on the past or become a better person within. I’ve chosen to be a better person and take all my life lessons and use them to help other youngsters who are wearing the shoes I used to wear. I know the emotions we carry when we feel we need approval from our peers. I know the physical pain your body endures when you’ve done something so bad that you wish you could take it away.

I was lucky to never want to turn to drugs to fill in the blanks I had in my life, but I did use the street life to complete what I felt was fulfilling my life. All those things didn’t make me happy because the more I ran the streets, the more I wanted to run even harder. From time to time, I replay my life and ask myself was it worth it? Naturally, it’s no because my freedom life was ended at 17. Now I’m approaching 30 and I wish nothing more but to have my childhood back. So kid, think before your childhood is ripped from you by something that’s not that important -- a street that doesn’t belong to us nor has done nothing for us.

B

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By Malik Alayube

’m an inmate at High Desert State Prison who was on track sociation Study, “Simply attending school behind bars reduces the in pursuing my Associate’s degree until the prison college pro- likelihood of re-incarceration by 23%. Translated into savings, every dollar spent on education returns more than two dollars to the citigrams were recently reduced.

State budget cuts have taken away educational opportunities zens in reduced prison costs."

For those of us who are making a genuine effort to improve in prisons. Teachers were laid off. College correspondence courses ourselves in prison, we used the progress we made in education and vocational trainings have been cut drastically.

All of these changes signify fewer opportunities for inmates to to convince the parole board when it came time for release. Witheducate themselves and become more productive citizens when re- out schooling, this opportunity to show our aspiration and tenacity leased back into society. If inmates are not given the opportunity through education has been taken from us.

I’m serving a 25 years-to-life sentence, and I’m worried I won’t to learn new skills in prison, how can you expect them to become have a chance in the job market when I get out of law-abiding citizens upon release and re-entry into society? I received my G.E.D. in prison before If inmates had the op- jail. I’ll be released as a felon, but if I were equipped this round of budget cuts was introduced. Now portunity to further with a college degree, at least I would be able to that the state has cut post-secondary educational their education and compete with other job seekers. Having a record and programs by 60 percent, I can’t take classes any skills while in prison, lacking degrees doesn’t make it easy to find a job. fewer inmates would Since California cut classes in prisons, I, and many more.

The number of teachers now leading classes end up back in prison others like myself, will be stuck in poverty when we’re released. in High Desert State Prison has been cut in half. after release.

What people may not realize is that cuts to prison Inmates hoping for an education have ended up just sitting in their cells, waiting to be paroled back to their communi- education not only affect inmates but also society outside prison walls. When you release people from prison who didn’t get the opties. This does nothing for their rehabilitation.

A big reason why the current budget crisis in California exists portunity to further their skill set or education, you’re sending people is because of the numerous prisons that were built and then filled home to where they were before coming into prison.

How can we expect people not to go back to their old lifestyle in to overcapacity. That resulted in having to pay for more correctional officers’ salaries, more food, more clothing, and more medical atten- crime to support themselves and their families?

If the public doesn’t take note of the fact that the success of tion for inmates.

If inmates had the opportunity to further their education and inmates in prison will eventually help our society and communities skills while in prison, fewer inmates would end up back in prison af- in the long run, it shouldn't expect the crime rate or the amount of ter release. Prisons then wouldn’t be so overcrowded. When inmates money they pay in taxes for housing prisoners to go down.

When inmates succeed, so does the rest of the state because leave prison with a G.E.D., college degree, or vocational training skills, they have a better chance at making it in society. According with education, the cycle of poverty, crime, and incarceration will to a commonly cited report entitled the Correctional Educational As- stop spinning. ⁜ siliconvalleydebug.com │18

Where we from...is a place not seen...yet we still inside this California dream...where the streets were promised a pave of gold...but turned out to be silicon chips...a home to the first station of the radio... This city is home to Giants and Sharks...this city has its own life after dark...from hustling to working, to drugging and banging, writing to skating, such fun and amazing...

-Baylingual

Home to where the 1st radio station starts,

Where the originator of Rock n Roll was Born in

A place of Beauty held by the eyes of the beholder’s

Where Giants steps ‘cause Earthquakes leaving ripple’s in liquids inside your cup-holder’s Letting those who oppose fall in with the tank full of Sharks we are the city that stays with yellow lights in the dark

and the dog’s will bark and sometimes held behind gates

and the injustice of badge holder’s add more to increase fates A City that’s been around since 1777

Where you can hustle to skinny jeans fiends who will inform your way to prison for heaven from acres of farms to family homes and condo’s there’s more to this life than snot no’s

We got Charizma, Killa Sharks, Smash mouth, and Chuck Berry We flip Silicon chips,like crack on the daily Targeted youth only want some respect

Not much give it to us so when crimes increase what did you expect? when people scared to walk on the same side of the street you tend to get angry you malfunction overheat

Getting mix vibes in functions turfer’s and gangsta’s got addicts addicted to everything but Bayer’s some 9 to 5 to get ahold of that paper

other’s switch roll’s and fight policies made by the mayor other’s stay home and dislike the sunlight

while other’s go on the mountains and stay out all night You would say we was living the good liiiiiiife but reality we struggle to surviiiiiiive

daily life flows like the Guadalupe river

where artifacts are found all in the center

Segregation seen between riches and poor

unless you the youth then we change the way of the old

Even though we are looked past upon and told not part of the Bay No one could tell us nothing For we at the bottom of it all.

We are San Jose!

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by Chip Lyas

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ith the exception of the familiar red brick building lated. Having watched each of these brands emerge from home which houses the Gordon Biersch brewery, the cor- offices and basements, I can personally see the gradual manifesner of 10th and Taylor streets in San Jose does not tation of what began as big ideas being kicked around by teenaglook much different than any other inner-city indus- ers, into what is becoming a viable means of self-perpetuation trial alcove: small to medium size independent businesses work- and a giving back to the place where everyone got their stripes in ing to stay afloat in one of a multitude of business parks scattered their respective crafts.

This expansion is not limited to Canthroughout the city.

What sets this particular business While young entrepreneurs nery Park, however. Through varypark apart from many others is the are nothing new to the Sil- ing degrees of separation, friends and partners have established retail steadily growing number of businesses emerging that are owned and oper- icon Valley, this group of and gallery spaces all over San Jose. ated by young people. While young artists, designers, and in- Such locations include, and are not limited to: Death Before Dishonor and entrepreneurs are nothing new to the fabricators have Humble Beginnings tattoo shops, ArisSilicon Valley, this group of artists, dustrial designers, and industrial fabricators all come from the same en- tocrats and Cukui clothing boutiques, the Empire 7 gallery space. All have all come from the same environv i r o n m e n t s / n e i g h b o r h o o d s and of these businesses have longstandments/neighborhoods and are working toward a common goal: keeping San and are working toward a ing relationships with each other, some through family and others with Jose fresh. common goal: keeping San being friendships dating back to grade school

The minds behind BG Concepts, Jose fresh. and earlier. This has worked to creShorty Fatz custom bicycles, Clout ate a patchwork in San Jose that has Magazine, and Breezy Excursion clothing, to name a few, are all well-known in the community not been seen in many years, substantiated by a strong business for their contributions over the years to the cultural landscape of presence that reflects the youth culture at large.

All of the companies in this story have done a lot to work with San Jose and the Bay Area. Many of these entrepreneurs have backgrounds in graffiti, skateboarding, and other typically frowned local musicians, artists, and other movers and shakers to outupon youth cultural activities. What has set these brands apart wardly express a connection and belief in realms out of their own. from other businesses of the same type is their dedication to the There have been countless advertisements, clothing, and other promotional tools featuring collaborations between these brands environment they come from.

Each of these brands has been committed from their incep- and other artists showing an overall joined effort to KEEP SAN tion to working with other artists from San Jose and abroad to help JOSE FRESH. I want to personally thank everyone involved, and I wish evshow the vast artistic diversity of our city, as well as emphasizing the personal connections we all have to one another and our own eryone great success. What you're all doing is great for San Jose. ⠜ cultures and heritage.

This current state of flourish has been long coming and calcusiliconvalleydebug.com │20

doing life in Chowchilla Prison. In the letter she writes about a song almost like a well known anthem to Oceania, "E Papa," by the music artist Fiji. It was a song they played during an event that Loa and Fui attended at the women's prison in Chowchilla.

She writes in the letter,

S

by Jean Melesaine // photos by Angela Angel

an Francisco,CA -- For folks that don't know, May was Asian Pacific American Heritage(APIAH) month and usually the "Pacific Islander" is forgotten. Well May is over now, and when June began, the rainbows spouted because of Pride month for the LGBTQ community.

And as always, all the international gays that can afford to come spend a week in San Francisco came out to play, the majority being European men. There was once a time in my life where I thought the gay community was my community, but I soon found that as any community, the different facets from class to race, someone with a rainbow flag on their luxury car meant that we might just brush shoulders at the pride parade, and that was it.

In the months following up to the passing of Proposition 8 banning same sex marriage, a constant image of Pacific Islanders for Yes on 8 flooded newscasts all over California. For the majority of time, a Pacific Islander is only visible through mainstream media if he is a football player, which ousts Pacific Islander women completely. As a result, a group of queer Pacific Islander women pulled together their different trade of arts to create One Love Oceania(OLO), with members from the Marshall Islands,Gua'han(Guam), Tonga, Fiji, Samoa, and Saipan. We are the first queer Pacific Islander Women's group in the U.S. and so there will be a lot of firsts for us, as well as our upcoming show in the National Queer Arts Festival.

In Chowchilla prison, an incarcerated Samoan queer woman tells Fuifuilupe, "It sounds funny, but prison is the first place

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I ever felt free." This was after she told the recently out Tongan scholar about being abused for being queer by her father. As she puts it, "He tried to beat the gay out of me."

There has always been a struggle for Pacific Islanders to survive in America. To be a man, football is seemingly a Samoan parents' wish for their son. So what does that mean if their son becomes a "fafafine" (a drag queen) or if they have a daughter, a queer daughter?

It's something historical when you know you're the first of its kind and how much some people will try to "beat the gay out" of you. Like most people, my memories of my childhood are fickle. Going to church every Sunday, singing in primary in white sunday songs I thought were boring, and when I was sitting in church reading a youth pamphlet banning homosexuality. At that moment I knew as a 5 year old child that somewhere in myself my life wasn't going to be as easy as the other youth who could read that with ease. I knew that I was banned from the church at 5.

On June 9th 2010, O.L.O. performed a sold out show for The National Queer Arts Festival. At the end of the performance, each member read "A Letter to Ellie", a letter written by Loa Niumeitolu to Ellie, that same incarcerated Samoan woman who is currently

"E Papa is like my family's theme song because it's about a hard life. When it comes to heartaches and difficulties, Ellie, I think you and I, and our sisters in Chowchilla have a lot in common. E Papa will be our song. It's our Pacific Island/Oceania family theme song. In the beauty of its storytelling, it reveals heartbreak we have lived and the love we hold onto to live this life.I don't speak Maori but I know Tongan, and I can pick up the essence and the meaning of the song. This is my translation of its essence; E papa waiari/my love/taku nei mahi/there is only sadness/he tuku roimata/no end to tears. E aue, aue/oh lord! oh lord!/ka mate ahau/i will perish/e hine hoki mai ra/woman come back home to me. Our Oceania music reminds me of this struggle that is life. It is being true to our hearts during the struggle that will deliver us back to our true love, to our true homes. Being true, because it requires us to sit everyday with our ordinary, vulnerable selves, will give us freedom."

There's something about being a 5 year old queer samoan girl in a white dress on white Sunday in a Mormon church and 20 years later on stage with other queer Pacific Islander women wearing white to portray solidarity with prisoners while reading a beautiful letter for the National Queer Arts Festival.

It's almost like a dream for me to witness the Pacific Island renaissance in motion and am blessed to be guided by my peers, knowing that I have a gang of ancestors looking out for me. ⁜

adrid

By David M

E

Photos by:

arlier this year, Block2BlockRadio/SanJoSoul along with PD Soundz and Streetlow Magazine continued San Jo’s longstanding tradition of Chicanismo and sub culture Movimiento by throwing the “Soulero’s Ball & Show n’ Shine,” celebrating a Chicano’s love for classic soul “oldies” and classic cars.

It all went down on a hot Saturday afternoon at the Creek Side Inn Restaurant over on the West Side of San Jo. It was two events in one where the parking lot was jampacked with some of the cleanest lowriders around and where the inside was filled with soul lovers and record collectors that grooved the day away to spinning vinyl.

A Soulero is a rare soul record collector from the barrio. The term originates from the homeboys in the Soul Strivers record club of NorCal, but has since then spread nationwide and is now growing as an identity for Chicano soul lovers.

The Soulero’s Ball started as a conversation that the Homeboy Mad and me had regarding our gente’s connection to classic soul music. We wanted to do something for the music lovers. You know, lowriders got car shows, but what do soul collectors got? So based on some old concert flyers the Homeboy Mad came across promoting “Lowrider Ball’s” from the 1970’s, the Soulero’s Ball Room Revue was born.

Although record parties and soul nights may not be new, what makes the Soulero’s Ball significant is the fact who’s throwing it -- Chicanos. That’s right, no hipsters or Hip-Hop overtones, just straight sweet soul 45’s spun with a Homeboy twist. There was also a live singing performance by local legend Dino Aponte, arte on display by local tattoo artists club the “Pistolero Viejo,’” along with all the car clubs gathered outside, making this event more than a dance party, but a celebration of our culture.

Morgan Rosales

The Ball was a success, tapping into the soul record collecting community whose world mainly exists on the internet these days buying, selling, and sharing. From the Bay to L.A., collectors were able to meet face-to-face and share their knowledge and love for this music. Soul collector Fernando Aguilar stated that it was “something old with a new spin” having a lot of the next generation of collectors showcased -- homeboys that started back in the mid 90’s that are now established souleros.

The ball is rolling and gaining momentum. It’s even rumored that gente down in So.Cal want to emulate what we started out here. In total, there were three Soulero’s Balls throughout the year. The third one in October held in downtown at the San Jose Billiards was one not to miss. It was a huge art show and concert fundraiser where proceeds from the ball went to help “The Heart of Chaos” art collective that works with incarcerated youth. So stay on the lookout for the next Soulero's Ball. Keep trucha and be there or be square. ⁜

Although record parties and soul nights may not be new, what makes the Soulero’s Ball significant is the fact who’s throwing it -- Chicanos.

Shout outs to: The Soul Strivers & Northern Soulero’s, Big Moses Arroyo, Tommy Siqueiro, Patrick Cordova, Soulero Sal from Salas, Arlene Soulera from E.L.A, Dee Lady, Streetlow staff, Dino Aponte, Greg Carillo, Abraham Ortega & the Pistolero Viejo’s tattoo club, Dukes C.C., Childhood Dreams B.C, Patrons C.C., Chicano Legacy C.C., Blvd.

Bombs C.C., Green Spans and everyone else who made it happen.

Block2Block Radio every Wednesday morning from 9-10am San Jo Soul every 1st & 3rd Friday night of the month Midnight- 3am 91.5fm KKUP, serving the Bay Area & Central Coast www.block2blockradio.podomatic.com www.myspace.com/block2blockradio siliconvalleydebug.com │22

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by Justin Collins // illo by Roland

o

John was a quick-talking ladies' man, as well as a talented ave you ever heard of a lobotomy procedure? This is when a doctor goes in above the eye, breaks through skateboarder and tagger. The last time I saw him downtown he was the bone, and scrambles the frontal lobe -- essentially lost, walking down a street he knew well, one we had skateboardrobbing the subject of their personality, ability to form ed down countless times as teens. I asked him "What's up?" and opinions, and perform basic motor skills, and creating a vegetable. he couldn't form words; he got up and walked into oncoming traf Lobotomies are now illegal in the United States, but the desire fic without looking and was almost struck by a speeder. I took his to deny people their free mind is not. Lobotomies were once used phone and found a contact for his dad and got him a ride home. His dad told me he has been different ever to punish juvenile delinquents, unfaithful wives, and people the state considered In a sadistic and unjust turn since he was prescribed Rxsperadol at a incorrigible. Now the same outcome is of events, juvenile and adult halfway house.

A girl I had been acquainted with as a achieved through potent psychoactive medications like Rxsperadol, Triazadone inmates in the criminal jus- kid in foster care had a similar conversaand Xyprexa. These medications were tice system are now force-fed tion. She told me she couldn't stop gainweight and lost her train of thought inoriginally conceived to aid in schizopowerful drugs that perma- ing stantly once she started taking Triazadone phrenics with violent hallucinations or in nently alter brain chemistry given to her by Gardner Mental Health, a order to quell disturbing voices.

In a sadistic and unjust turn of and cause the subject to be company with contracts throughout the foster care and adult probation systems. events, juvenile and adult inmates in the This perverse madness is aided by procriminal justice system are now force-fed lost in a void in delirium. bation officers who are involved in the powerful drugs that permanently alter brain chemistry and cause the subject to be lost in a void in de- medicating and a heavy-handed approach to giving out violations lirium. The people become unable to work or functionally communi- of probation for not following a doctor's prescription.

So what if you don't want to be a zombie. What if you disagree cate. I witnessed this first-hand on multiple occasions.

Friends I had growing up have been robbed of their whole per- with the use of a mind-numbing schizophrenia medication when sonas. I ran into a guy I grew up with, "Victor", sitting at a bus stop. you are not a schizophrenic? Too bad, because the system, in its I said hello and saw an absolute glaze over his face. I finally got cruel wisdom, knows that the first step to taking our freedom is his attention, but his speech was slurred and he could hardly recall depriving us of our conscious mind. I ask you, does being on probamajor events in his life. I knew something was wrong, and I asked tion mean you are less than human? Or that you should be subject if he had an accident and he said "no." I asked, "Are you on any to medical testing? The answer is no. Even as crime is a threat to medications?" He told me during probation he was given Xyprexa. society, offenders have to be treated humanely, with dignity and I cringed because I'd observed a similarly grave change in another respect. ⁜ friend, "John".

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