5THINGSI’VE LEARNEDASI’M AGING

Want to know five things I’ve learned as I’maging?

As I get older, I see the wisdom that comes along with the process. Some thingsyoujustsimplyknowbetterornotto do. No one in their right mind continues to fall down the same rabbit hole, meaning youavoidsimilartraps.Butthereareother things I am starting to realize as well. These thoughts prove to be solid with some objections and possibly even exceptions,buttheyholdtrueforme.

Your body is your temple. If you take care of it, it will take care of you for a little while longer.

I do not know about you all, but I now feel subtle signs of aging more frequently, and my body lets me know it’s not the same body I had in my twenties. I remember when I used to try to learn pole tricks, and the pole would leave bruises all over my body. I cannot imagine the bruising and soreness at this age. I can barely imagine the jumping, but I do jumping jacks and burpeesnow,soIguess….

Hair really does grow everywhere. I’mtoomuchofagirlygirltosaywhereall Ihaveseenhair,andIdonotneedyouall looking,butlet’sjustsaythisistrue.

Unless your parents are well off, they will need your assistance.

I do not know what world I used to live in whereIjustknewIwouldbefarawayfrom my mama in my thirties, but that world no longer exists. My mama and teenage brother have lived with me for over two years now. It’s not easy being a caregiver on top of a parent and small business owner in this economy, but God provides, andwedowhatwecan.

Love looks less romantic and more like a business transaction.

First, let me say. Business transactions are sexy too, and by no means am I promoting prostitution, but what I am saying is that I realize it is better to be strategic when choosing a partner. I realize people are spiritual beings, and who knows what spirit they may have on them? You have to be mindful of who you aredoingbusinesswith.It’salsoimportant to be honest about what you offer, what youexpect,andwhoyouare.

You realize it really does not matter what people say.

I have not met an individual, outside of guys I have dated, that wanted to pay my bills.Sowiththatbeingsaid,Irealizemost thingsarenoneofpeople’sbusiness.Now that thought process also makes it a little harder for me to share things on social media. So I often ask myself a journalism question, does this information benefit my public?Ifitdoes,thenI’llgoonandshare, but if not, then I do not share it. No need to give people a reason to share their unwanted opinion on matters that do not concernthem.

I also learned about boundaries and realized that I used to overshare. I apologizetoanyoneI’veeverdonethatto. I also realized not everyone was worthy of knowingmeandmystory.Plus,weareall dealing with a lot, why burden others with things that often do not matter a week fromtoday?Furthermore,attheendofthe day, I am a thirty-eight-year-old Black woman; making decisions can be difficult, butIdothis.

By: FRANCHESKA"FANCY"FELDER

So these are five of the things I have realized to be true, but as I have been writing,IthinkIwillsharesomemorelater. I must admit even with this knowledge, aging is scary. It leads us closer to the inevitable, and that is still something I am coming to grips with. However, there is also beauty in aging, and I think we need to discuss it more so it becomes less scary- not just for us, but for future generationstoo.

I remember a conversation I had with my oldest daughter when she said she would rather die in her twenties than get old because getting old seemed so challenging. This was not too long ago, and I was still in my thirties, but I understood where she was coming from. No one I know has ever made aging look appealing. I will not say “good” because we, as Black people, do look good for our ages, but no one ever talked about the mental and emotional challenges that take placeortheadaptedthoughtprocesses.