5 THINGS I’VE LEARNED AS I’M AGING Want to know five things I’ve learned as I’m aging? As I get older, I see the wisdom that comes along with the process. Some things you just simply know better or not to do. No one in their right mind continues to fall down the same rabbit hole, meaning you avoid similar traps. But there are other things I am starting to realize as well. These thoughts prove to be solid with some objections and possibly even exceptions, but they hold true for me. Your body is your temple. If you take care of it, it will take care of you for a little while longer. I do not know about you all, but I now feel subtle signs of aging more frequently, and my body lets me know it’s not the same body I had in my twenties. I remember when I used to try to learn pole tricks, and the pole would leave bruises all over my body. I cannot imagine the bruising and soreness at this age. I can barely imagine the jumping, but I do jumping jacks and burpees now, so I guess…. Hair really does grow everywhere. I’m too much of a girly girl to say where all I have seen hair, and I do not need you all looking, but let’s just say this is true. Unless your parents are well off, they will need your assistance. I do not know what world I used to live in where I just knew I would be far away from my mama in my thirties, but that world no longer exists. My mama and teenage brother have lived with me for over two years now. It’s not easy being a caregiver on top of a parent and small business owner in this economy, but God provides, and we do what we can.
Love looks less romantic and more like a business transaction. First, let me say. Business transactions are sexy too, and by no means am I promoting prostitution, but what I am saying is that I realize it is better to be strategic when choosing a partner. I realize people are spiritual beings, and who knows what spirit they may have on them? You have to be mindful of who you are doing business with. It’s also important to be honest about what you offer, what you expect, and who you are. You realize it really does not matter what people say. I have not met an individual, outside of guys I have dated, that wanted to pay my bills. So with that being said, I realize most things are none of people’s business. Now that thought process also makes it a little harder for me to share things on social media. So I often ask myself a journalism question, does this information benefit my public? If it does, then I’ll go on and share, but if not, then I do not share it. No need to give people a reason to share their unwanted opinion on matters that do not concern them.
By: FRANCHESKA "FANCY" FELDER
So these are five of the things I have realized to be true, but as I have been writing, I think I will share some more later. I must admit even with this knowledge, aging is scary. It leads us closer to the inevitable, and that is still something I am coming to grips with. However, there is also beauty in aging, and I think we need to discuss it more so it becomes less scary- not just for us, but for future generations too. I remember a conversation I had with my oldest daughter when she said she would rather die in her twenties than get old because getting old seemed so challenging. This was not too long ago, and I was still in my thirties, but I understood where she was coming from. No one I know has ever made aging look appealing. I will not say “good” because we, as Black people, do look good for our ages, but no one ever talked about the mental and emotional challenges that take place or the adapted thought processes.
I also learned about boundaries and realized that I used to overshare. I apologize to anyone I’ve ever done that to. I also realized not everyone was worthy of knowing me and my story. Plus, we are all dealing with a lot, why burden others with things that often do not matter a week from today? Furthermore, at the end of the day, I am a thirty-eight-year-old Black woman; making decisions can be difficult, but I do this.
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