Glow Through the Season

Photography

Acknowledgments

Zahadonna’s Photos: ShaniceRoyal

Kay’sPhotos: OctaviaSchofieldofTayk-OnePhotography

Mrs.Rita’sPhotos: ClarenceScott

Dr.Cheryl’sPhotos: LindriaDockett

Cherrie’sPhotos: EyeSeetheVision

Ms.TrishPhotos: CalvinFinkleaPhotography

Brunchw/theBoyzPhotos: KalysaWilson|Pinktravelista

Fancy’sPhotos: @shotbyadedra

ArticlePhotos: ultramansk MeekoMedia RaulMell Marketing

Francheska“Fancy”Felder Editor-in-Chief

JarmelRoberson VPofMarketing

BrianaBrown

SocialMediaCousin

KhadijahPhillips Jr.Publicist

BestiesMedia CoverDesign

SwagHerMagazine/BestiesMedia LayoutDesign

AndrewHorton

CopyEditor

Francheska"Fancy"Felder

CopyEditor

Editor Letterfromthe Editor Letterfromthe

Greetings

As we prepare to navigate another chapter in US history, one we didn’t ask for and didn’t vote for, I want to remind you of our people, Black people’s extraordinary resilience. We’ve faced systems designed to silence us, yet here we stand—unapologetic, unstoppable, and unbreakable, and sometimes so unserious. Now is the time to focus on how we not only survive but also thrive and find peace amid uncertainty.

Unlike the first time “that man” took office, I do not feel the fear and dread I once did. Honestly, after the last few years of simply trying to keep afloat, I do not feel anything, but I know two things: mine and I will be good regardless, and I will thrive and be at peace. I long ago realized no one was coming to save me and my children and that I would need to do that myself. This has always motivated my work, but only now are the stakes higher.

PHOTO BY @SHOTBYADEDRA

Yourletter’sintroductioncanbeabriefgreeting, For years, people have questioned why our focus is Black women instead of all women, and the proven answeriswearenotallbuiltthesame.Sinceourjobis to keep you informed and introduce you to new things and people, SwagHer is needed now more than ever. Being that our goal is to empower you, I wanted to share three ways we can focus on surviving, thriving, andfindingpeaceinchallengingtimes:

Community Support and Unity

Together, we can build and strengthen community ties thatprovideemotionalandpracticalsupport.Engaging in local organizations, attending cultural events, and uplifting each other create a sense of belonging and resilience for everyone. You can attend town halls, join grassrootsorganizations,andconnectwithlocalBlackled groups such as the NAACP and local Black communitycenters.TherearealsoplatformslikeBlack Connect or We Buy Black foster community and collaboration. Social media groups allow us to share resourcesandprovidemutualaid. or salutation. No matter what reason you have behind writing,it’sbesttobeorganizedandplan the contents of your letter before publishing the magazine.

Economic Empowerment

We need to build our own, and we can do so by shopping Black, starting side hustles, and creating investinggroupswithfriendsandfamily.Thissummer, Imetaguywhostartedaninvestmentgroupwithfour other brothers he had served with, and they are doing reallywell.Forthepastfewyears,theyhavegivenback to the community with an annual summer event in SilverSpring,Maryland.

There are lots of financial literacy platforms out there, such as Earn Your Leisure or The Budgetnista. Organizations like Operation HOPE provide economic empowerment and financial counseling. Prioritizing financial literacy, supporting Black-owned businesses, and creating generational wealth can foster independence and strength. It would be wise for us to invest in skills, education, and entrepreneurship that equip our communities to thrive regardless of external circumstances.

Mental and Physical Wellness

when needed ensures emotional resilience. Personally, these are a few of my top priorities, and I believe we can’t be at our best at our other actions if we are not taking care of them. Our mental health is critical for both surviving and thriving. Engaging in physical activities, eating healthily, and finding safe spaces to express concerns can help maintain balance and peace. And can we be real? Social media is oftentimes not a safe space. Don’t be afraid to take a break.

I am not saying this new normal will be easy, and I’m definitely saying be prepared for anything. You can do this by getting your finances in order, such as paying off most of your debt and having a savings account, cutting your expenses, investing in an index fund, gathering your identification forms and passport, and securing your homes.

At our highest selves, we can achieve even more remarkable accomplishments. In adversity, we are called to lean into our strength and creativity. Let’s support each other, build wealth, and prioritize our wellness like never before. We owe it to ourselves and future generations to thrive in ways that honor our past and secure our future. Stay grounded, stay hopeful, and remember, peace is your birthright— even in this storm.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

SWAGHer

Contributors Contributors

KIM CROSS

KIM CROSS

Kim is the owner and Happy Skin Formulator at Zhi Bath & Body, a natural skincare shop based in Charlotte, NC. She has been in the beauty industry for the last 30 years as a stylist and skincare formulator. Having dealt with severe psoriasis for over 20 years, she knows the hardship of finding products that are gentle, good for the skin, and smell amazing. 16 years of research and formulating has resulted in a goat milk skincare and soy candle line that is simplyamazing.Helpingyouloveyou…naturally.@zhiandme

FRANCHESKA “FANCY” FELDER FRANCHESKA “FANCY” FELDER

Francheska “Fancy” Felder is a quiet Southern, media mogul in the making. In 2010, she launched SwagHer Magazine, an empowerment and lifestyle publication for the Black woman who likes to keep it real. SwagHer Magazine uses positive media and storytelling to create new narratives and mindsets around Black people, their communities, and the businesses and organizations theylead.Fancyalsohosts CEOChatterLIVE,abusinessandlifestylepodcast. @fancyswagher

OBSESSION

Obsession is a romance and erotica author, blogger, photographer, and artist from Chicago, IL. My favorite topics to write about are relationships, emerging artists, and books (I’m a bookworm who loves reviewing books). @authorobsession

KHADIJAH PHILLIPS

KHADIJAH PHILLIPS

Khadijah Phillips is a highly driven woman who was born to break barriers. She proves that when powered by purpose, women are unstoppable. She’s built her storied life and career brick by brick, fighting fears, failures, and setbacks to havethesuccessshe’salwaysknownwasherstoclaim.Today,shepersonifies what it means to ascend above adversity while inspiring countless others to do the same through her media company and strategic partnerships. You can follow her on Instagram @bestiesmedia and check out her website, www.bestiesmedia.com

CHRISTINA WOODARD

Christina Woodard was born and raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She attended Dillard University in Orleans, Louisiana, and received a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication. She is passionate about all things related to writing, investigation, family, and crime and has put those passions to good use bybecomingaparalegal.@cstina.nicole

THE SALON SUITE QUEEN, ZAHADONNA CLARK, SHARES HOW TO STAY FULLY OCCUPIED

The Salon Suite Queen is sharing how to stay fully occupied.

Zahadonna Clark, also known as the Salon Suite Queen,hasbeeninthebeautyindustryfor17years and is an award-winning cosmetologist with a 5star rating on Google! Zahadonna is working on opening her fourth salon suite location and, as a result, will be able to retire from behind the chair. The veteran cosmetologist is very passionate about helping other beauty professionals increase their revenueandworklesstolivetheirdesiredlives!She has had four mentees who have successfully duplicated the salon suite process and is working withsevenmorementeestodothesame.

Learn more about how to fully occupy your salon suites and how to get started with Zahadonna below.

BY

FRANCHESKA “FANCY” FELDER | PHOTOGRAPHY BY SHANICE ROYAL

Fancy: Tell us about The Pink Salon Suites and what inspired you to start your salonsuitesbusiness.

Zahadonna: My salon suite business provides individual salonspacesforbeautyand wellness professionals. Each suite offers a private, customizable environment whereprofessionalssuchas hairstylists, nail technicians, estheticians, and massage therapists can run their businesses independently. Our salon suites include essentialamenitiestoensure a comfortable and professional atmosphere. By offering 24-hour access, we empower beauty professionals to create their ownuniquebrandsandhours of operation and deliver personalizedservicestotheir clients.

The inspiration to start my salon suite business stemmed from a deep passion for the beauty industry and a desire to support fellow beauty professionals in their entrepreneurial journeys. I recognized the challenges many beauty and wellness professionals face when establishingtheirbusinesses, such as high startup costs, the need for a supportive community,andthedifficulty offindingsuitable,affordable

spaces.Bycreatingasalon suite business, I aimed to address these challenges and provide a platform where talented professionals can thrive independently while being part of a more extensive supportive network. Witnessing the success and growth of my clients fuels my commitment to thisventureandreinforces mybeliefintheimportance of empowering others in theirprofessionalpursuits.

Fancy: How difficult is it to own suites, and why should more beauty professionals pursue this goal?

Zahadonna: It's not difficult at all! What can portraydifficultiesarejust starting the process and funding,butwithalackof mindset, some may never get started because they think it's impossible to obtain. Beauty professionals should definitely pursue salon suites as a goal if they want financial independence, freedom from behind the chair, retirement, and so much more!

gettingstarted?

Zahadonna: Funding was the most challenging part ofobtainingasalonsuite business. I didn't have enough money to get started,butIwasableto use creative funding to helpmeinmyprocess,and it was a success. I detail how I did it in my Salon SuitesReplay.

Fancy: You are currently opening your fourth location. What does that feellike?

Zahadonna: Atfirst,itwas exciting,butthenitstarted getting stressful because my contractor was not meeting the deadline. Thesearesometimessome hiccups we face in the industry. I was able to negotiatenorentwhilein theprocessofrenovation.I wasalittleworriedabout the renovation delay becauseitcausedadelay with my suites getting rented, but I can happily sayweare50%occupied. Fancy: What type of contentdoyouteachyour suitementees?

Fancy: What was most challengingaboutgetting

Zahadonna: I teach them video form content. This formofcontenthashelped me in the process of gettingmysalonsuitefully

rentedwithintwomonths.My favorite quote is if it's not broken,don'tfixit.

Fancy:Canyoushareonetip that you suggest for those tryingtorenttheirspaces?

Zahadonna: Ifyouaretrying to rent out your spaces, I recommend posting shortform videos of the salon on socialmediawithahookand trending audio to grab the attention of beauty professionals seeking to lease a professional environment.Youhavetobe consistent,postthreetimesa day, and always remember themoneyisinthefollow-up. Fancy: How would you describe your swagher? What makes Zahadonna, Zahadonna?

Zahadonna: PINK: Pretty Inspiring Nourishing Knowledgeable First of all, I love the color pink,butIreallylivebythese words.Theyalldescribeme inaspecialway,andthat's what makes Zahadonna, Zahadonna.

Fancy: How do you practice self-care when not wearing yourbusinesshat?

Zahadonna:Forme,self-care involves taking a sit-down bath every night, traveling, and, most importantly, workingout.

Follow Zahadonna at the following:

IG:@iamzahadonna

IG:@thepinksalonsuites Or visit

https://zahadonna.com

WinterWellness:BossUp,ShineBright

By Kim Cross | Photos by Kim Cross

The holiday season, a time of joy, cheer, and family shindigs, will often bring unexpected mental and emotional challenges. For many African-American women, especially those in business, the pressure to maintain a balance of sorts between work, family,andpersonalwellnesscanbeoverwhelming.

Coupled with the shorter days, colder temperatures,andmuchlesscolorintheworld,the risk of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can impactproductivityANDmentalhealth

So,Let'sFirstUnderstand SeasonalAffectiveDisorder

(SAD)

SAD is a type of depression that occurs seasonally, typically during the fall and winter months. Symptoms can range from mild to severe and may include:

Persistent feelings of sadness or irritation at whatseemsexcessivehappinessinothers Lossofinterestinactivities

Sleep disturbances; maybe you can get to sleep butcan’tstayasleep,orviceversa.

Fatigueorunexplainedtiredness

Difficulty concentrating or going from one task tothenextandnotcompletinganyofthem

Changes in appetite, more or less depending on howyoureacttobeingabitdown

A sense of "Ugh" from cold and lack of color thattreesandbloomscreate

ButWhat'sTheImpactonBlack BusinessWomen?

It’s known that Black women often shoulder multiple responsibilities. We often experience higher levels of stress and discrimination that can decreaseourprotectionfrommentalhealthissues. TheaddedstressofSADcanexacerbatefeelingsof burnout and overwhelm in both our personal and professional lives. It is absolutely crucial to recognize the signs and take steps to prioritize yourself FIRST… Yes...time away from "home stuff" and "business deadlines." I call it “checking out to checkbackin”.

NowTheHow...NurturingSelf

DuringtheHolidaySeason

Prioritize YOU: Make time for activities that bring you joy, such as time alone with all electronics on silent binge-watching TV, working out (even just a walkwilldo),ormeditation.

Set Realistic Expectations: Avoid overcommitting yourself and learn to say no when necessary… It is, afterall,acompletesentence

Connect with Loved Ones: Foster strong relationships with friends and family who support andupliftyou.Don'tforgetfamilycanbewhomever yousayitis.

Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling with SAD, consider consulting a mental health professional. There is no shame in having a therapistonspeeddial!

Embrace Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoidself-criticism.Wearenotoriousforbeingour worstcritics—STOPIT.

PracticeGratitude:Focusonthepositiveaspectsof your life, no matter how small. Keep a notebook andjotdownthreethingsthatdidn'tsuckeveryday beforebed,refertoitoften.

ByprioritizingYOUandtakingstepstomanageSAD or cut it off at the pass, we, as Black businesswomen, can thrive during the holidays and any other season. It's okay not to be okay; seeking supportisoneofoursuperpowers!Let’sgooo!

Embracing Love & Spice: An Interview with Rita Smith

By: Christina Woodard

Rita Smith is a vibrant TikTok creator known for her spicy content and candid discussions on intimacy in olderage.Rita,alwaysunashamedtoexpressherlove andromanceforherhusband,begantospicethingsup during the pandemic by incorporating costumes into herrole-playingandrecordingherthoughts.Withover four decades of marital bliss, Rita challenges stereotypesaboutoldercouplesandintimacy,proving that love and sex are timeless. In this interview, Rita opensupaboutherjourney,theemotionalcreationof the“KittyWiggleCollection”at61,andtheintegralrole her husband plays in their shared ventures. She also shares insights on balancing entrepreneurship with familylifeandtheblessingsofevolvingasaChristian woman.

Christina: What is your SwagHer? What makes Rita,Rita?

Rita: My SwagHer is my faith in God and the confidence He gifted me with to inspire people and showcase that all thingsarepossible!

Christina: What inspired you to start creating spicycontentonTikTok?

Rita: I was just being myself,neverashamedto show my love and romance for my man. Things got a bit more spicy for us in 2020 during the pandemic. While he was working, I spiced things up by addingmorecostumesto my role-playing collection and started recording my thoughts. I never thought much aboutit.

Christina: How has your approach to discussing intimacy in older age helped challenge stereotypes, like older peopledon’thavesexor beintimateinanyway?

Photography by: Clarence Scott

Rita: Idispelledthemyththatolder couples like my husband and me, together for 43 blessed years, shouldn't enjoy sex. We are in love and aging gracefully. Sex keeps us youthful, happy, and glowing, which people saw firsthand. Being in our 60s, we still satisfy each other. We showed that intimacy goes deeper than sex—it's about patience, endurance, and communication duringdisagreements.

Christina: How was the journey creating the “Kitty Wiggle Collection”at61?

Rita: Creating the "Kitty Wiggle Collection" at 61 was emotional. It reminded me of my struggle with endometriosis and how lingerie became my security when I felt helpless. It brought me joy and a senseofaccomplishment.

Christina: What role does your husband play in your social media contentandbusinessventures?Has social media impacted your relationshipinanynegativeway?

Rita: My husband has been consistently loving, caring, fun, spontaneous, sexy, and shy for 43 blessed years. He brings hope to single women, and men praise him forbeingtheKingwhokeepshiswife crowned.

Christina: How do you balance entrepreneurshipwhilebeingawife, mother,andgrandmother?

Rita: We have always worked together and set boundaries, even when our children were young. Our time is our time. Now that our children are adults, they still understand this, and our grandchildrendotoo.Everyone

respects that, and it works well for our family. My husband and I set asidetimeforourgrandchildren,one of our greatest blessings. We are gratefultobeingoodhealthtoenjoy them. As an entrepreneur, it gets tough as I travel more, but we use FaceTimeandothermeanstostayin touch. I also take personal time to rest and refuel, which is very important. Balance is everything for me.

Christina:Isthereanythingelseyou wouldliketoshare?

Rita: Yes! I am still evolving as a Christian woman and wife. I don't understand everything about this newlife,butI'velearnedmymarriage and story are my ministry. None of thisisbymymight.Godhasblessed meinmy60stobecomeanauthor, CEO, and inspiration to people worldwide,showingthatmiraclesstill happen. Some close to me counted me out, and I never saw this vision, but God brought me through. I encourage others to have faith and letGodremoveobstaclestoreceive His best. Stay tuned for our eBook "Love Can’t Wait," set to release in earlyJuly.

ConnectwithRitabelow: Website: https://kittywigglecollection.com/ Instagram: @bad_girl_riri504 TikTok: @badgirlriri504

“Evolving While Black” by

Chianti Lomax is a Book

Black CEOs Must Read

By Francheska “Fancy” Felder

Evolving While Black by Chianti Lomax is a book Black CEOs must read. Mindfulness and selfawareness are major topics of the book, offering crucial insights for personal and professional growth. Lomax shares her positive psychology practices and beliefs through relatable life anecdotes, making her experiences resonate with the reader. These lessons are not just theoretical but practical, aligning with the five ‘well-beings’ crucial for a fulfilling life: career, financial, physical, social, and community.Chiantiguidesusthrough self-check-ins in each area, helping us assess our current status and providing actionable tips for improvement.

Now, let’s break down mindfulness andself-awarenessinsimplerterms. Mindfulness is all about being fully presentandengagedinthemoment. Imagineconversingwithafriend,but instead of thinking about your to-do list or what you’ll say next, you’re genuinely listening to them and appreciating the moment. It’s like givingyourmindamini-vacationfrom theconstantchatter.Self-awareness, on the other hand, is about understandingyourselfbetter.It’slike having a mirror that shows not just your reflection but your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. By being self-aware, you can recognize your strengthsandweaknessesandmake better decisions that align with your trueself.

Seeing a millennial Black woman writing about such subject matter is impressive, and I enjoyed reading everyminute.Lomaxisalsoahip-hop headwithgreattasteinmusic,soIwas excited to hear her music references. Yes,therewasalotof“Yasss!”going on as I listened to the book several times on Audible. My favorite parts (Libra me couldn’t just pick one) are when Lomax talks about her grandparents.

I was fortunate to attend the book launch of Evolving While Black: The Ultimate Guide to Happiness & TransformationonYourOwnTermsat Politics & Prose in D.C., where the founderofWell-ReadBlackGirl,Glory Edim,interviewedLomax,arenowned life coach and Chief Happiness Curator.EdimaskedLomaxtoexplain howwecanpracticemindfulnessdaily

Lomax replied, “Mindfulness is a muscle,too.Like,sometimesIhaveto practice it myself. Like, ‘All right, Chianti. That’s being in the present moment.Let’stalkthroughwhatyou’re feeling. It’s okay. Don’t judge it.’ So, thethreethingsthatItellpeoplewhen I’mteachingmindfulnessare

youwanttoapproachmindfulnesswith a beginner’s mindset. So even if you think you are a yogi, you are a meditativeguru—it’sgoodtojuststart withabeginner’smindset.Thesecond thing is releasing judgment that something has to happen a certain way.So,somedaysyou’regoingtotry tobemindful,andsomedays,you’re not. That’s a part of the human experience, is that permission to be human?Andthenit’slike,justdon’ttry tostopanythingfromhappening.Allow ittohappen.So,allowyourselftofeel those thoughts or to keep those thoughts. And again, mindfulness is justaboutbeingpresentwithyourself. It’s not about trying to stop yourself fromdoinganything.”

This guide is filled with funny and sweetstoriesfromLomax’slifethatact as guiding lessons in the following areas:careerwell-being,financialwellbeing,physicalwell-being,socialwellbeing,andcommunitywell-being.With no-bullbravery,honesty,andwarmth, EvolvingWhileBlackwelcomesusinto aflourishingspaceofgrowthandselfdiscovery.Iinviteyoutocheckitout.I amsureyouaregoingtoloveit.

MEETTHECORRESPONDENTS

CHRISNATHADEROSIER

CHRISNATHANADEROSIER

Asacertifiedlifecoachandspeaker,ChrisnathaDerosierhas10 years’experienceasaprofessionalcoach.Shehascaptivated countlessaudiences,includinguniversities,women'sconferences, youthprograms,andmore.Chrisnathahasworkedwithdozensof womenongoalsetting,writingtheirfirstbook,andconfidence building.Sheassistswomeningoingfromconfusiontoclaritywhile gettingtotheC.O.R.E.ofwhotheyareinherexclusivecommunity, theMasterpieceSociety.Shehasalsoservedasabusinessadvisor toentrepreneursatHoustonCommunityCollegefortheirBusiness DigitalAcademyandBusinessPlanPitchCompetition.Herspecial Coachingareasoffocusareconfidence,lifecoaching, business/career,andmeaningfulpurpose.

TYRAGARDNER

TyraS.GardnerisaPsychotherapist,ODPractitioner,Podcaster, MediaContributor,Speaker,andCEOofAtAMomentsNoticeand TheWellnessCenterofMindfulness.Tyraspecializesinanger management,addictions,trauma,andbusinessandtransformational coaching,whoseexpertiseisfocusedonsolutions-focusedand RealityTherapy.Tyraservicesclientssufferingfrompoorstress management,shoppingaddictions,phobias,andgrief.Sheusesher passionfortherapyandcoachingtoeducatehercommunityon waystocreateawork-lifebalanceandharmony.

JENKARES

Jenniferfindsjoyinhelpingothersbalancelife’sdailychallenges. SheisthefounderofChozenCounselorsInc.,a501(C)(3)non-profit organizationthatseekstoinspire,motivate,empowerandstrengthen individualsandfamiliesbywayofone-to-onecounseling,family sessions,workshops,conferences,literatureandotherevents. Jenniferfindsjoyinservingat-riskyouth,individuals,andfamilies, helpingthemachievetheirgoalsastheyinspirehertocontinue achievinghergoals.Shespecializesinbringingthecommunity toyoubywayoftoughtalksandmeaningfulconversations.

H.B.

HeidiBrown,anativeofMiami,Florida,preferstobecalledH.B., knownasTheKingdomAdvancer.SheisthehostoftheGodSip Podcast,whereshesharestheGoodNewsyoucanuse.Sheisa BusinessStrategistwhohelpsgeneratewealth.Sheisalsoa restorationlifecoachwhohelpswomenheal,recover,andunlock theirabundantlives.

CLAIRICA“RISA”LANGE

ThisTennesseeNativeisamogulinthemaking!Risaisapowerhouse Actresswhohasstarredinseveralcommercialsandshortfilms.The Stageisherfirstlove;shedebutedinastageplay!Although shehastouredtheStatesinvariousstageplays,shestilllovestohost agreatevent.SheheldthetitleofMrs.LouisianaUniversalin2019 andwasthefirstrunner-upinthe2019Mrs.USAUniversal competition.Also,sheisaContributingMediaCorrespondentfor SwagHerMagazine,whereyoucanfindherdoingRedCarpet interviewswithlocalandnationallyknowncelebrities.Risasetsthe barhigh,andsheisaninspirationforallmodernwomentoemulate. Sheishonoredtobethefounderandhostofherlivesegment SweetNRealpodcast.Shewasajudgeduringseveralbeauty pageantsandmentoredandcoachedseveralparticipantstowin theircrowns.Lastly,Risaisaninfluencerspeakerwhosemost significantaccomplishmentsarebeingawonderfulwife,aloving motherofthreebeautifulkids,andafirst-timegrandmother.

LARHONDAMARIE

OklahomaCityNativeLaRhondaMarieisasinger-songwriterand socialmediapersonality.LaRhondaMarieisaSwagherMagazine correspondent;shecurrentlyhostssUnderConstructionwLaRhonda MarieeachThursdayonFacebookandYouTube.LaRhondaMarie isalsomoldingyoungmindsinher8th-gradeclassroomand isexcitedtobeonthefrontlines,inspiringyoungpeople.

DAWNMICHELLE

DawnMichelle,aPhiladelphianative,spenthertwentiesandthirties thrivinginNewYorkCitybeforesettlinginthevibrantAtlantaarea. Sheisadedicatedwife,bonusmom,andaccomplishedHR professional.Inadditiontohercareer,Dawnexcelsasanevent moderatorandcoordinator.Herpassionsextendtomodeling, contentcreation,andvoice-overartistry.

KHADIJAHPHILLIPS

Ahighlydrivenwoman,sheprovesthatwhenpoweredbypurpose, womenareunstoppable.Withoveradecadeofexpertise,she inspires,empowers,andunleashespotentialinothers,demonstrating relentlesscommitmenttobothherclients’successandherown.She givesavoicetotheunderservedwhiledevelopinganddesigning marketingcampaignsandsupportingparentsofspecialneeds childrenthroughhermostrecentventure,AutismMomClub.

"So, I already had the feeling of knowing that my life was bigger than me every time I spoke." -Dr. Cheryl

Dr.CherylWoodisapowerhouseintheworldof personal and professional development. As an internationalkeynotespeaker,best-sellingauthor, and Editor-in-Chief of Voices of Change Magazine, Dr. Wood amplifies the stories of women creating impactful change. With her role as Executive Communication Strategist and CEO ofGlobalSpeakersUniversity,shehascommitted her life to transforming leaders into influential communicators. Having coached top executives, professionals, entrepreneurs, and leaders to elevatetheircommunicationskills,shehelpsthem command any room with confidence to drive successandleavealastinglegacy.

I first heard Dr. Cheryl speak at The Table Women’s Empowerment Summit, which was presented by Polished Events, LLC in College Park, MD, and I was impressed with how she commanded the room with her dynamic storytelling. She spoke vividly and raw of family interactions. She briefed the audience about a traumaticincidentwithherdad.Ithoughttomyself that she is a Black woman who likes to keep it real, and I concluded that our community would benefit in learning about her experiences. So I’m excitedtosharethisinterviewwithyouall.Inour discussion,Dr.Cherylrevealsherinsightsonthe artofcraftingone'sownstory,findingstrengthin the"uglyparts"oflife,andovercomingthepoverty mindset. She shares invaluable lessons on tapping into your voice, no matter the circumstances, and embracing the hard parts of yourstoryasfuelforgrowthandresilience.

thatisgoingtobethebreakthroughthrough. Doyouagreewiththestatement,anddoyou stilloperateyourT-shirtbusiness?

Fancy: Dr. Cheryl, you started public speaking by being invited to an event to speak about your T-shirt business. It's been said that our first business is usually just our entry point intoentrepreneurship.It'snotthebusiness

Dr.Cheryl: That's such a good question. I agree withthatstatement.IfeelliketheT-shirtswerejust that. It was literally just the beginning or, as you say,theentrypointtomyrealpurpose.AndIthink the critical part of that is I would have never had the entry point had I not got started with the Tshirts.So,theT-shirtstaughtmesomanylessons thatIwouldincorporateasapartofmyspeaking business a couple of years down the road. I still incorporate those lessons today. My initial businesstaughtmehowtospeakupandexpress whoIamandwhatIdo.

Sitting at those vendor tables, praying that somebody would come over and buy a T-shirt, taught me how to engage in conversation. I learned not to becrushedanddevastatedby “no.” You just understand that's a part of business. It taught me how to network effectively. It taught me the realgrindofbeinginbusiness and that sometimes, when starting,youwillgivesomuch morethanyouinitiallyreceive. But as time progresses, you can incorporate all those lessonsandthosefailuresasa partofyourultimatesuccess.

SotodayIamnotdoingtheTshirts. Thank you, Lord! [Laughs.] There was nothing wrongwithdoingT-shirts,butI was sick and tired of packing upT-shirtsandtakingthemto an event, then bringing them back home. That's why I'm always so adamant about supporting exhibitors and vendors when I'm at events. But I don't do the T-shirts anymore. I feel like it divinely detoured me into my true calling, which is speaking. That's why I spend my time pouring myself into speaking and speaking life into other peopleandtheirdreams.

Dr. Cheryl- the Public Speaker

Fancy: Right. I was just curious because I didn't think she still had time for that. So then at what point did you decide you could make a career out of public speaking?

Dr.Cherly: Oh, that's a good question. I think there are two different answers to that. TherewasapointwhenIknew Iwantedto[speakforaliving], but then there was a point whereIfeltlikeitwasaviable businessthatcouldreplacemy full-time income. So when I started the T-shirt business and detoured into public speaking, I was still working full-timeasalegalsecretaryin corporate America. My very firstspeakingengagementwas at Morgan State University, September 18, 2010. It was thenthatIknewIwanteditto be my career. But it wasn't untilseveralyearslater,whenI got my first paid speaking engagement,thatIfeltlikethis couldbeaviablecareerthatI could utilize to replace the incomethatIwasearningwith myfull-timejob.

It was someone else seeing thevalueinwhatIcouldbring to the table and not just say, “Oh, Cheryl, you're such a greatspeaker.”Itwasnotonly the fact that I was being applauded, but that I was actually being compensated for the service I delivered to thatroom.Andthatcheckwas from the Prince George's County Memorial Library System. I will never forget it. I will never forget being in their big, packed auditorium. I think there were about 150 people there. I was like, “Wait–all these people came here to hear me speak?” I was the only speaker, and it was for Women's History Month. And theywrotemeacheckforthat

speakingengagement.

So,Ialreadyhadthefeelingof knowing that my life was bigger than me every time I spoke. I was inspiring, empowering, educating, and informing others. And I also could earn a check, a good check.Thatwasthepiecethat mademethink,“Okay,Icould possibly turn this into a real career that compensates me adequatelyforwhatIdo.”

Tips for Crafting Your Story

Fancy: Wow, that's so amazing because it sounds like there was a time when you weren't being paid, but you continued to speak, whereasmanypeoplewould havebeenlike,“Oh,I'mnot gettingpaidforthis.Letme move on to the next thing.” So that shows your commitment to it. With public speaking, I know we oftentalkaboutcraftingour stories.Whattipswouldyou giveforcraftingyourstory?

Dr. Cheryl: My first tip would be simply to find the power in your story and stop underestimating its value. So often,Iwillmeetentrepreneurs and business owners, and we'lltalkabouttheimportance ofstorytelling.Butthey'llsay,“I don't have a story.” And that means they're devaluing their lifeexperiencesandeverything thattheyhavepressedthrough or broken through that tried to break them. So I don't care who you are, at some point in life,ifyou'vebeenonthe

planet more than 37 seconds, you have some experiences and some failures, some mistakes, some mishaps, some setbacks, challenges, like, we can go on and on because none of us live this perfectlifeinaperfectbubble. I just think people don't give enough power to the experiences that they are standingontheothersideof.

They take an experience, and they just think, “Oh, well, I blazed through because that's what I was taught to do.” That'swhatmyparentstaught me”, or “That's what I knew I had to do.” They just diminish its value for someone else. Now the reality is that you've gone through, and now you're ontheothersideasavictor,a conqueror,awarrior.Someone elseiscurrentlygoingthrough that experience, wishing they knew what you know now, wonderingwhetherornotthey will be able to press through the way you did. So, yeah, you'resittingonagoldmineof informationcontentasapartof your storytelling. So my encouragement is, number one,justtapintothepowerof yourstoryandstopdiminishing it. Number two is to really tap into the strategies around structuringastory.

Every story should have a beginning, it should have a middle, and it should have an end. It should connect to whatever the main point, theme, talking point, or takeaways you're sharing in thespeechorthepresentation

is. It should be directly linked to that. So, you want to connect the dots for the audience instead of having them guess how to connect the dots. I would say the third thingforstorytellingisdon'tbe afraid to be vulnerable in your storytelling and really show peoplethenot-so-prettysideof the story. Sometimes, especially if we're on a stage, whether virtual or in person, becauseofthetitlethatcomes withusattheseasonwe'rein now, we don't want people to knowhowuglyitusedtobe.

And in actuality, your strength isintheuglyparts,thebroken parts of you where you didn't know how you were going to pull out of that situation that you were in. So, give yourself permission to be vulnerable andconnectwiththeaudience and the room based on sharing the struggles you've been through and letting people know it hasn't always been this way. And then, if I had to add one more. Let me seewhichoneIwouldchoose. I'mtryingtopickthebestone. There are so many tips and strategies, but number four Is to show the story instead of telling the story. Show the story. Storytelling is not just aboutgivingpeopleastoryas ifyou'rereadingitfromabook or somebody else's experience. It's about pouring all of you into that story. Your vocal modulation and tonality, your body language, your facial expressions,yourgestures,

pauses- all of those things create an experience through storytelling versus you just stating it as though you're reading random facts about someone else's life. When it's yourlife,yourexperience,give yourself permission to use vivid descriptions that bring thatstorytolife.That'swhenit becomes an experience, and people are emotionally impacted. By now, we all shouldknowthatpeoplemake decisions, especially buying decisions, based on emotions firstandthenlogic.

Fancy: Those were some powerfultips.I'mcertainour readers are going to really enjoy those. And speaking oftheuglypartsofthestory, you shared that you come from poverty, yet you've beenabletobuildalifethat you love. What was that journeylike?

Dr.Cheryl: Hard. There were times- I'm gonna be very honest,whereIwaslike,isthis worthit?Iwillneverforgetone particulartime.Ihadfinallyquit my job, and it took so much courage and boldness to walk away from what felt like security.Ithinkmanyofusfeel that the job and direct deposit that comes every two weeks feelverysafeandsecure.ButI understoodthatmybigdreams and the life I wanted to live were not in the same area code or zip code as safe and secure.Itwascompletelyona different street, possibly in a different city, of doing unfamiliar and uncomfortable things.

Forme,alotofitwasbelieving that I was good enough to accomplish it, that I was smart enough to figure out how to replace my $75,000 a year income through my business and speaking. It wasn't like I came from a background of entrepreneursorhadmentorsin mypocketwhocouldcoachme through it. It was me figuring thisthingoutbyreadingalotof books. I used to listen to podcastsandcalls.Backthen,it was Blog Talk Radio. I don't knowifyourememberBlogTalk Radio, but when I was working asalegalsecretary,Iwoulduse my lunch break. Every lunch break, I listened to Blog Talk Radio as other people shared theirstoriesandexperiences.

This allowed me to continue to believe that if they can, I can, but it was hard. It was a lot of sacrifice. I always tell people there are a few things you primarily have to do if you're going to succeed, and number one is you have to put something in. So I was depositing much time, energy, andeffort,attendingnetworking events, meeting new people, and sharing who I was and striving to be because I wasn't “her”yet.ItwasthevisionIhad in my mind of who I could become, but I needed to share that in a compelling and energized way so that other people would want to support meinachievingthegoal.Soit's puttingsomethingin.

The second thing is giving something up. I gave up sleep. Instead of coming home and going to sleep, I went to networkingeventsafterworking all day. It was staying up later thanmostpeopleandgettingup earlierthanmostpeople.Itwas just really sacrificing. Because I'mmarriedwiththreekids,one of the things my family sacrificed was vacations for six years. We didn’t go anywhere because, with every dime I made, we needed to invest back into the business to be sustainableandhavelongevity. You can't make it and then spend it. You can’t be out on vacation, and you don't know howyouaregonnapaythenext billthatcomesintothe

businesstobesustainableand have longevity. You can't makeitandthenspendit.You can’t be out on vacation, and you don't know how you are gonna pay the next bill that comesintothebusiness.Soit was things like that. That's what I mean about you gotta putsomethingin,butthenyou gottogivesomethingup.

And then you've got to be willing to get back up from something, which means a spirit of resilience. So it was getting knocked down and being determined to get back up, just like a boxer in a ring. It'slike,I'mgoingdownforthe count,butbythetimeyouget to10,I'malreadyup,readyfor the next round. It was just continuing to get back up, even through some of the toughest knockdowns I could experience as a business, especially a new business. You're trying to figure it out. Then, the last thing, number four, is to finish something, really commit to crossing the finish line. There are a lot of women,especiallyinbusiness, who start the business but don'tfinishthebusiness.

There are a lot of businesses thathavenevermadeitacross fiveyears.Somedon'tmakeit across the first two or three years because it requires tenacity and grit, which some people don't seem to be cut out for. However, I was committed. Once I found out whatIfeltlikeIwasborntodo, whichIbelieveisspeakinginto other people's lives, that was it.Youcan't“unknow”that.

You can't figure out what you're born to do, what you werecreatedfor,andwhatthe callingonyourlifeis,andthen youactlikeyoudon'tknow.

So even when it was hard, it wasamatteroffocusingmore on solutions to the problems than the problems themselves sothatyoucancrossthefinish line and have longevity in this business.

Motherhood

Fancy: I agree with all of that, and those were some really great tips. So you've built a remarkable career empowering others to step into their greatness. What keymomentsordecisionsin yourjourneywerepivotalin shaping your definition of success?

Dr. Cheryl: That's a good question. That's a deepthought question. I think my childrenwereabigpartofmy decision to stick with it. The reason that I started my business from the get-go was because I wanted to be more present as a mother at that time. You know, my kids are nowteenagers,andtheydon't evenwanttobebotheredwith me. [Laughs] My sons are 15 and 16. One's a junior in high school,oneisaseniorinhigh school, and my daughter is about to turn 21, so ain't nobody looking for mama no more.But13yearsago,when Istarted,theywerebabies.

So I was running around with threebabiesonmyhipandI

feltlostinlife.IfeltlikeIwasn't trulyliving.Iwasjustexisting.I did not feel like I could be presentandactiveformykids becauseIwastoobusyracing the clock, trying to beat the clock,andtryingtobeattraffic everymorning.Puttingmykids in the car, strapping in three car seats at 5:00a.m. to get them dropped off at the beforecareby6:00a.m.,toget toajobthatIdidn'tevenlove by8:00a.m.,andthendoitall overagainintheevening.You know–racing the time, racing the clock, racing traffic to get back to pick my kids up at aftercare by 6:00p.m., and I'm the last parent running in the aftercare door talking about, “Oh,I'msorry,I'mfiveminutes late.” And they are looking at mewithastankeye,givingme an invoice for being late, not knowing what I've gone throughtogetthere.

Soitwasjustbeinginaspace ofnotfeelinglikeitwasfairfor me not to be able to raise my ownkids.Becauseifthey'rein somebody else's care 12 hoursaday,youaren'ttheone raising them. Somebody else is raising them. And then, I wanted my kids to see an exampleofwhatitlooksliketo wantsomethingandbewilling to work for it, starting at the bottom, chipping away until you get what you want. That was such a big part of my decision to stick with it. Even whenitwastough,evenwhen itwasdifficult,andevenwhen I had setbacks and failures along the way, I always continuedtothinkofwhyIsaid “yes”fromthestart.

I'm just a human being out here trying to live my best life by living a purposeful life.

That's why it's so important whenwestartbusinessesthat it's not just for money. Becauseifit'sonlyformoney, you will eventually run out of steam.Butifit'sforsomething greater,somethingyou'retruly passionate about, you have a strong emotional attached to that thing. For me that attachment was being an active,engagedmom.Youwill alwayskeepthesteamtokeep pressing and finding a way. So, that impacted my mindset about being determined and stayingcommittedforthelong haul.

Fancy:Yeah,andthat’swhy Ialsostarted—Ijustwanted tobemorepresentwithmy kids. And then I realized therewasonepointwhereit was business was so overwhelming that I still wasn'tpresent.Ihadtopull back. But I think I have gainedcontroloverthat.So, living a life you love often requires overcoming fears and self-doubt. Can you shareatimewhenyoufaced a significant challenge and how you pushed through it to stay aligned with your purpose?

Dr. Cheryl: Throughout my whole career I have delt with fear and doubt. But I pressed through! It's because of what you asked me earlier about growing up in an environment of poverty. I grew up in an environment where nobody was telling me, “Oh, you can be a giant in this world,” and “Youcandogreatthings.”

Nobodywastellingmethat.In Baltimore's Lafayette projects, people were saying, “You probably gonna be another statistic. You're gonna be another teenage mom. You're gonnabeanotherdrugaddict. You'regonnabeonthecorner sellingthedrugs.You'regonna be another person who grows up a victim of poverty and scarcity.” That's what I heard in my neighborhood. It wasn't aboutgoingoutintotheworld, finding yourself and becoming anybodyyouwanttobe.

That just wasn't the language that I heard. So that head trash–that was one of my biggest challenges. Along my journey I went into a space where I was like, “Okay, wait, you're going to speak on stages in front of really smart people who have Master's degrees and PhDs, who are very highly educated and who come from money and things that you don't know anything about. That messed me up. I had to work on my belief in myself and know that I am createdinGod'simageandin Hisfavor.Idon'thavetohave letters behind my name to prove that I am enough, that I'm qualified, that I'm worthy. I'm capable and I understand that education has no significance or impact on intelligence.

You don't have to have an official education to be intelligent; God's gift is God's gift.Soforme,itwaspressing through those fears of impostersyndrome.“Willthey

I don’t have a degree when I getonstage?

Will they be able to tell that I don’t have an Ivy League education?” Those were the fears I endured for years–not feelingqualifiedtobecalledon thebigstages.Allwouldcome to fruition later because I workedonmymindset.

So because I worked on the mindset, guess what? I was able to manifest stages like NASA, the United Nations, Prudential Capital One, Verizon,Export-ImportBankof the United States, Federally Employed Women, and The Department of Defense. I can give you a laundry list, but those things did not manifest until I worked on the mindset to press through my fears of inadequacy and doubts about whether or not I was worthy enough to be on those platforms.

It's the Energy for Me 's

Fancy: Wow, and that's something that so many of us can relate to, especially when you don't come from that particular type of background.Thatkindafear weighs so heavily on the mind. So I can definitely understand that, and I think our readers will be able to relatetothataswell.Somy last question is our most famous question here at SWAGHER: How would you describe your swagher? What makes Dr. Cheryl, Dr. Cheryl?

Dr. Cheryl: Baby, my energy–okay? Let me just tell you. [Laughs] It is unmatched! I don't care where you see me, where you connect with me–online, in person, at the grocery store. I've had people who have come up to me at the grocery store and I was looking a hot mess. No, I did not look like my profile picture.ButyouwillstillgetDr.CherylWood's energy because I'm passionate about what I do. And when I meet people who have seen my work or value it, watched my videos, and now they're in the grocery store, and they're like,“Oh,myGod,areyouDr.Cheryl?”Ican kind of see them peeking around the corner. I'm like, this is somebody who wants to introducethemselves.SoI'llmakesureIturn all the way around so they can feel that comfort. I feel I'm just like you. I'm just a humanbeingoutheretryingtolivemybestlife bylivingapurposefullife.Andso,forme,it's theenergy.Thatenergyisnotjusttheenergy of being welcoming to people, but it's an energy of “If I can, you can too.” [It's my desire] to help people develop a heightened level of confidence in their abilities to accomplish anything that they set their minds to. When you come into my space, you will never leave the same. It's not even possible. That's my swagher. You will never be the same. You will think that somebody has built you up and literally put you on a pedestal becausethat'swhatwedo.

That'swhatIdoinmyspacesothatyoucan knowthatitdoesn'tmatterwhatshehas,how long she's been doing it, or how much she's been educated, all that doesn't matter. It has nothingtodowithyou.It'sthegiftsyoubring to the table–your talents, skills, experiences, and expertise. Somebody somewhere is waiting on what you're sitting on, and that's whatIneedpeopletoknow,andthat'swhatI reemphasizeforthemeverytimethey'reinmy space.

CHERRIE 'CHER' MCRAE ON HER JOURNEY

From Actor to Director and the Art of Storytelling

By Francheska “Fancy” Felder |

by Eye S ee the Vision

Cherrie ‘Cher’ McRae’s journey from actor to director is a testament to her versatility and resilience in the entertainment industry. As a multifaceted talent, Cher has built an impressive career,makinghermarknotonlyasaskilledactor but also as a director, philanthropist, and public figure. Starting in Miami, Florida, with her first role in a local Urban Soap Opera, Cher has since appeared on major networks like Hulu, BET, Starz,andDisney,accumulatingover50on-screen credits. Her dedication to the craft has taken her acrossthecountryandinternationally,refining

I would advocate getting as much production-related onset, off-set experience you can muster up. - Cherie

herskillsinmarketslikeNewYorkCity,LosAngeles, andToronto.

Cher's passion for storytelling led her to transition behind the camera, where her strong educational background in Business Administration and Theatre Arts provides a unique perspective. In this interview, she shares insights into her journey from actor to director, her approach to balancing creative vision with collaboration, and her advice for those looking tofollowinherfootsteps.

Fancy: You began your career in front of the camera and have now successfully transitioned to directing. What initially drew you to directing, and how did your experiences as an actor influence your approach behind the camera?

Cher: Well, 90% of my career remains in front of the camera. However, the other 10% split is directing and producing content. My transition to directing resulted from an intense love for unpacking a good story. And it was, surprisingly, a pretty fluid transition. I, innately, have a dominance about me, a ‘take charge’ focus in life. I recall moments in my careerwhenjobswerefewandfarbetween.

Photos by Eye See the Vision.

McRae

Photography

Heightened frustrations of wanting to embody a certain pedigree of a character(s) and hearing more no's than yes as an actor led me to write my own materialandfillmyownrole(s)as leading lady while also casting other skilled artists, providing them with job opportunities. I began officially writing in 2016 and produced and directed my firstsetofindependentprojectsin Spring 2017. 'Director' has a nice ring, but behind the title lies a heavily layered occupation with multiplecomplexities.Ispentthe bulk of my time witnessing directorsgothroughvariousstages oftrialanderror,extremelylong daysonset,firmdecision-making abilities, time and budget awareness, active listeners, and constructivelymanagingateamof individuals who brought to the tableameltingpotofskillsetsand unique personalities. With directing, a lot like acting, you musthaveferociousstamina.Your crafthastobeapassionpursuit.

Fancy: How do you balance stayingtruetoyourcreativevision while collaborating with writers, actors,andotherproductionteam memberswhendirecting?

Cher: Great question. It is a repetitivelifeandlearningcurve, trust me. My near-proven theory has been extensive communication, especially in the pre-production phase of filmmaking.Severalbrainstorming sessionsoutlineclearexpectations, includingassorted

ideas, open-mindedness, a good balance of structure and fluidity, planning/prep, and mapping out well before I utter the word ‘Action.’ All of the above helps alleviate misunderstandings and breakdowns in communication while promoting clarity, respect, and synergy amongst vast personalities and skill sets. Ultimately, I proactively hire the rightmixofteammatesandteam players who adopt my overall visionasapreface,thenworkand re-work the plan as a collective fromthere.

Fancy: You've directed a range of projects, from drama to comedy. How do you approach directing different genres, and what strategies do you use to ensure eachprojectstandsout?

Cher: Filmmaking in its developmental phase is nonformulaic for me. I prefer my projects to have different DNA imprints. I deliberate in uniquely brandingthemwiththeirfeatures, functions, and personalities. I approach them all with prescribedmotivationandIntention. At story start-up, I assign a specific concept that carries through all stages of its production. My “strategy” is clothedin“feeling.”WhatwouldI like people to FEEL this time? What do I want an audience to take away this time? How can I better tether an audience’s experience? Some stories serve societal climates, leaning more towardsadvocacy,whileothersare lessthought-heavyandjustgive folksafeel-goodfeel.

Fancy: What types of stories or themes are you most passionate about exploring in your future directing projects? Are there any particulargenresornarrativesyou haven’t yet tackled that you’re eagertoexplore?

Cher: As an actor, I’m ready to sink my teeth into an actionpacked series or trilogy. As a directorto1)workingabroadand 2) on a part-animated/parttheatrical series (think Alvin and the Chipmunks franchise). In the meantime,however,Iwillsayany bodyofworkthatwillcontinueto builduponmyreputableportfolio.

Fancy: What advice would you givetoactorsconsideringstepping into the director role? What key skills or mindsets should they develop to make that transition successful?

Cher: Rest assured, despite popularopinion,youdon’thaveto gotofilmschooltobeasuccessful filmmaker/director. I would advocate getting as much production-related onset, off-set experience you can muster up. Literally, work in every unit and every department from the development,pre-production,and post-production stages. Consider cultivating your creative niche; study various storytelling styles; identify your story strengths and areasofimprovement;andfollow theworkpathsofotherdirectors you admire, want to work alongside,orfeelwouldbesuitable

le for mentorship. Workshop, Workshop, Workshop! Get to knowasmanycreativesaspossible andformatacontact'retrievallist' ofcontractors,subcontractors,and peers (crew, actors, investors) to whomyoucanreachoutwhenyou are ready to move forward (i.e., build your network). Directors, please take at least one acting/drama class during the infancy stages of your career. Actors leaning toward directing take a production assistant (PA) courseorthelike.Tagteamon-set experience with below-the-line technical training, book smarts, and hands-on skill building. ConsideraddingaPublicSpeaking sessiontoyourrepertoire,asyou’ll have to effectively manage your set(s)andarticulateyourneedsto large groups of people. Volunteer your time with industry affiliates, filmfestivalboards,organizations, etc.Travelandfamiliarizeyourself with other markets. Build your mentalstaminaandbraceyourself for the outpour of rejection. No question is a stupid question, so ask plenty of them on your journey. Build your confidence... Leap!

Stay connected with Cher at @cherriemcrae_ig

FINDING YOUR HOLIDAY CONFIDENCE:

How to Navigate Those Personal Questions at Family Gatherings

Holiday gatherings are a time for reconnecting with family and friends and sharing food, laughter, and memories. But for many, they also come with a side dish of prying questions about career choices, relationship status, and family plans. If you'redreadingtheinevitable"Areyou dating anyone?" or "When are you going to settle down?", take a breath. Here's how to handle these questions withconfidenceandgrace.

Beforeheadingtoagathering,prepare yourselfmentally.Rememberthatthese questions, though sometimes invasive, oftenstemfromaplaceofcuriosityor concern, not judgment. A little preparationcangoalongwaytoward feeling more confident. Visualize how you'llrespondcalmly,andkeepinmind that your life journey is unique and doesn't need to fit anyone else's timeline.

When asked questions about sensitive topics, a short, clear answer often does the trick. For example, if you're asked about your job status, respond with a broad, confident statement. "I'm exploring new career directions that I'm excited about!" This reply offers a positive outlook without going into details. Or, for uncomfortable dating questions, try something like, "I'm focusing on myself and my goals right now."It'shonestandempowersyoutoown your current chapter. This approach shows you're happy with where you are, even if thespecificsareaworkinprogress.

Expressing gratitude can be a simple, sincere way to steer conversations positively. When someone asks about your goals or future, saying something like, "I'm justgratefultobewhereIamrightnowand tohavefamilyaroundfortheholidays,"can help shift the focus from "What's next?" to "What'snow?".

Ifyouprefernottoengagewithaparticular question, setting boundaries respectfully and directly can help. Politely declining to discuss a topic honors your comfort level andletsyourfamilyknowwhereyoustand. For example, "I appreciate you asking, but that's not something I'm focused on right now.I'dlovetotellyouabout[otherpartof life]." This approach is constructive if you anticipate recurring questions about a sensitiveorpersonaltopic.

Everyone can’t handle confrontation, so if you're uncomfortable with shutting the charadesdown,pivot.Whenaquestionhits a nerve or makes you uneasy, it's okay to changethesubjectgracefully.Pivotingtoa new topic, whether about a recent family event,holidayplans,orasharedinterest,

can keep things light and bring the conversation to a space where everyonefeelsincluded.

Rememberthatyou'renotobligatedto satisfy anyone else's curiosity this holidayseason.Youcannavigatethese family gatherings with renewed confidence and self-assurance by preparing thoughtful responses, redirecting the conversation, and settingboundariesasneeded.Enjoythe moments that matter most—after all, theholidaysareaboutcelebratingwho weare,whereverweareinourjourney.

TANYA LEWIS WELLS: TANYA LEWIS WELLS: TANYA LEWIS WELLS:

By: Francheska

“Fancy” Felder

From Bodybuilding to Medspa Mogul

Tanya Lewis Wells has worked in the amateur and professional sports arena since the 2000s, spanning multiple sanctioned bodybuilding organizations such as the Organization of Competitive Bodybuilding (OCB), the largest natural organization to the National Physique Committee (NPC), the largest sanctioned organization of competitors fromaroundtheworldlooking tocompeteatagloballevel. Ms.Wellshasbuiltherbrand behind the scenes, getting athletes prepped for the competitionstage,magazine

covers, and the television screen. With 19 years of breadth of body prep, competition judging, and sports event promotion, the entrepreneur has become a healthandbodymogulinher ownright!

Over those years, she has continued to expand that brandthroughadvancednoninvasive medspa aesthetics services for the general consumer and sports entertainment athletes, includingcompetitiveboxing, MMA fighting bouts, competitivebodybuilding, andwrestlingindustries.Over the past few years, Ms.Wells hascommercializedthebrand by launching the Iron Girlz Athletics fitness facility in 2021, and later BodywoRx Aesthetics,formallyIronGirlz BodywoRx, in 2022 in the Washington, D.C. metropolitanarea,bridgingall herworlds.

Full steam ahead in 2024. BodywoRx Aesthetics NonInvasive Medspa, located in Bowie,Maryland,bringsallthe services,tips,andtricksofthe entertainment world to the menandwomenoftheDMV

looking to rebuild and reshape their bodies and those in the athletic community to the very best insideandout.

Fancy:Youownbothagym andamedspa.Canyoutell usalittleaboutboth?

Ms.Wells: Afterthreeyears,I closed the gym and decided tofocusonmedspaservices. BodywoRxAestheticsallowed me to bridge all that I had learned in the bodybuilding industry by helping everyday women achieve their body goals without the invasive proceduresofplasticsurgery.

Fancy: Was it difficult to openthegym?

Ms. Wells: Not really. My business partner and longtime friend, Ro Moblyey, was already a superstar trainer, andIalreadyhadthebusiness know-how.Wesimplyneeded a space to build it all. What wasthatprocesslike?Funny, COVIDwasstillgoingon,soI would use Amazon and, believeitornot,OfferUpsince everyone at the time was selling so much equipment fromhomegyms!

Fancy: Then you opened the medspa. What inspired this decision?

Ms. Wells: Well, two things I always loved were the way women would light up when theyfelttheywereattheirbest whensomeonetrulywas

rootingforthem!Myteamand Iwouldexperiencethisallthe time at bodybuilding competitions, so naturally, I wantedtobringthattopeople on and off the stage. The second, in all honesty, was thatfolksdidn’tkeepupwith the gym, but they never missed an appointment for body sculpting services, so thedecisionwasclear.

Fancy:Howdoyoubalance your time between the medspaandyourjob?

Ms.Wells: Themedspaismy solefocus,butlikemanyother women,Istillhaveadayjob. Balancing the medspa isn’t toohardsinceI’mindemand andcontrolmyownschedule. Iguessthatisagoodperkof ownership.

Fancy:Whattypeofclientsdo youserviceinboth?

Ms.Wells:MyMedspaclients range from professional boxers and MMA fighters to forensic police and Walmart lawyers,sotosayitranges,to saytheleast.

Fancy:Doyouhaveateamto assistyou?

Ms. Wells: Yes, but not in the traditional sense. I definitely believeinbeingofserviceand making sure to pave the way for other women, so I have other businesses within the business providing the services that people need. This allows me to support other women-owned businesses and provide the scaleofservicesthatthemen andwomenoftheDMVneed.

Fancy: What do you find mostrewardingaboutyour work?

Ms. Wells: I designed my medspa to have a West Coastvibe,andIlovethatit provides a place where clientscansimplyrelaxand selfishly focus on themselvesforafewhours.

Fancy: What is one challengeyouovercameto achieveyoursuccess?

Ms.Wells: I think a little selfdoubt.Youknow,wecanlove somethingandseeallthatwe wantittobe,butattheendof the day, people have to want to walk through your door, and that’s always scary because you don’t know if or how many clients you will have.

Fancy: How would you describe your swagher? WhatmakesTanya,Tanya?

Ms.Wells: Ithinkwomenand I have decided that WE are worth the risk. Your readers, your stories are all about peoplewhonotonlydaredto dreambutwereandarebrave enough to act. My SwagHer superpower is no matter how scaredIam…Iwillalwaystake theleapoffaith!

Fancy:Howcanourreaders connectwithyou?

Ms. Wells: Instagram: @bodyworxmedspa_bowie, wehave176kfollowers!

Email: bodyworxmedspa@gmail.co m

Website: www.bodyworxmedspa.com andPh:(202)868-0905 .

HOW TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO BOOST YOUR JOB SEARCH

By Francheska “Fancy” Felder

In today’s digital world, knowing how to use social media to boost your job searchisessential.

Whether you’re on LinkedIn, Twitter, or Instagram, social media can be your best friend when finding job opportunities and building your professional brand. You need to be strategic,intentional,andconsistentto makethemostoutoftheseplatforms. Here are three ways to start using socialmediatoboostyourjobsearch today.

1.Optimize Your Profiles

Your social media profiles are often the first impression potential employerswillhaveofyou.Makesure your LinkedIn, Instagram, and even Twitter profiles are professional, upto-date, and showcase your skills. Use a clear profile photo, write a compelling bio, and highlight key achievements that align with the job rolesyou’reseeking.OnLinkedIn,for example,includekeywordsthatmatch your industry so recruiters can easily find you. Don’t forget to keep your content fresh—post regularly about industrytrendsandaccomplishments.

Actionable Tip: Audit your social mediaprofilestoday.Updateyour

profile photo, bio, and summary sections with current information and keywordsrelevanttoyourfield.

2.Network and Engage

Networkingiscrucialwhenitcomesto using social media to boost your job search. Follow key players in your industry, join relevant groups, and engage with posts from companies you’re interested in. On LinkedIn, connect with recruiters or employees at companies you’d like to work for. Twitter and Instagram are also valuableforengagingwithbrands—

of Inspiring, Empowering, and Evolving

By: Francheska “Fancy” Felder

An Exclusive with Ms. Trish Standley: for A Decade

When we think of grace, ambition, and resilience wrapped in one powerhouse, Ms. When we think of grace, ambition, and resilience wrapped in one powerhouse, Ms. Trish Standley immediately comes to mind. From her beginnings with Style with Trysh Trish Standley immediately comes to mind. From her beginnings with Style with Trysh as an online radio show to the dynamic platform that is Trish Standley TV, her as an online radio show to the dynamic platform that is Trish Standley TV, her evolution is nothing short of inspiring. Known for her empowering approach to evolution is nothing short of inspiring. Known for her empowering approach to women’s stories, fashion, and community, Ms. Trish doesn’t just talk the talk—she women’s stories, fashion, and community, Ms. Trish doesn’t just talk the talk—she walks it with style, purpose, and heart. walks it with style, purpose, and heart.

When we think of grace, ambition, and resilience wrapped in one powerhouse, Ms. wrapped TrishStandleyimmediatelycomestomind.FromherbeginningswithStylewithTrysh TrishStandleyimmediatelycomestomind.FromherbeginningswithStylewithTrysh as an online radio show to the dynamic platform that is Trish Standley TV, her as an online radio show to the dynamic platform that is Trish Standley TV, her evolution is nothing short of inspiring. Known for her empowering approach to evolution is nothing short of inspiring. Known for her empowering approach to women’s stories, fashion, and community, Ms. Trish doesn’t just talk the talk—she women’s stories, fashion, and community, Ms. Trish doesn’t just talk the talk—she walksitwithstyle,purpose,andheart. walksitwithstyle,purpose,andheart.

In this candid conversation, Ms. Trish shares her journey of transforming her platform, In this candid conversation, Ms. Trish shares her journey of transforming her platform, blending her love for gospel music with a passion for creating meaningful content, blending her love for gospel music with a passion for creating meaningful content, and celebrating a 10-year milestone with groundbreaking new segments and and celebrating a 10-year milestone with groundbreaking new segments and projects. With wisdom, boldness, and that undeniable SwagHer, she invites us into projects. With wisdom, boldness, and that undeniable SwagHer, she invites us into her world—a space where real stories ignite change and dreams come to life. her world—a space where real stories ignite change and dreams come to life.

Inthiscandidconversation,Ms.Trishsharesherjourneyoftransformingherplatform, Inthiscandidconversation,Ms.Trishsharesherjourneyoftransformingherplatform, blending her love for gospel music with a passion for creating meaningful content, blending her love for gospel music with a passion for creating meaningful content, and celebrating a 10-year milestone with groundbreaking new segments and and celebrating a 10-year milestone with groundbreaking new segments and projects. With wisdom, boldness, and that undeniable SwagHer, she invites us into projects. With wisdom, boldness, and that undeniable SwagHer, she invites us into herworld—aspacewhererealstoriesignitechangeanddreamscometolife. herworld—aspacewhererealstoriesignitechangeanddreamscometolife.

Fancy: Your journey from “Style with Trysh” as an online radio show to “Trish Standley TV” is impressive! What inspired you to transform and expand your platform into a television show, and how has the mission evolved along the way?

Ms. Trish: We recognized a shiftinthetopicswewanted to present to our audience. While "fashion" will always remainpartofourfoundation, wefelttheneedtoexpandour focus. Our goal now is to createspaceforlearningand growthandacknowledgethe importance of empowering womenineveryareaoftheir lives.

Fancy:“TrishStandleyTV”is focused on women’s empowerment,fashion,and community engagement. Howdoyouenvisionthese elements coming together tocreateimpactfulcontent, and what do you hope viewerswilltakeawayfrom theshow?

Ms. Trish: Our mission is to bringreal,everydaystoriesto theforefront.We’reexcitedto feature guests who are "thriving with HIV," a mother who nearly died during childbirth due to hospital negligence, and individuals navigating

challenges like “surviving divorce” that were divorce" and "growing in grace" through menopause. Our platformcreatesasafespace formeaningfulconversations, empowering women to find strength and freedom regardlessofcircumstances.

Fancy: As an acclaimed gospel singer, your background is rooted in inspiring others. How does yourmusiccareerinfluence the stories you choose to feature on the show, particularly those with inspirational and uplifting themes?

Ms.Trish: Theshow’stagline, "Love isn’t Love unless you giveitaway,"comesfromone of my singles, “Love.” This guiding principle influences everythingIdo.Inmydaysas arecordingartist,Iwouldask God to help me see people through His eyes, which taughtmetoapproachothers with grace rather than judgment. This perspective allowsmetofocusnotonlyon themesbutalsoonthepeople behindeachstory.Attheend ofeachinterview,Iinvitemy gueststospeakdirectlytoour viewers,encouragingthemin awaythatfeelsauthenticand comfortable.Nooneshould

ever feel alone in their struggles.

Fancy: What can viewers expect in this new era of TrishStandleyTV?Arethere any upcoming guests or specific segments you're especially excited to share withyouraudience?

Ms. Trish: I’m incredibly excitedaboutthisnewphase! In celebration of our 10-year anniversary,werecordedour first episode with a live audience. Recognizing the growing importance of caregiving,wehostedapanel ofexperts(anotherfirstforus) coveringkeyareaslikemental health,self-care,in-homeand facility care, a pre-need specialistfromafuneralhome, andanestateattorney.They providedvaluableinsightson essential topics, including wills, trusts, and the responsibilities of an estate executor—addressing questions that many in our communityhave.

I’mthrilledtosharethatapast guest, whose mother tragically died after unknowingly contracting AIDSfromherhusband(who is now jailed for nondisclosure), has made a powerful impact. After the interviewaired,itinspired

myself!

total to five—to come forward and press charges. While the journey has been challenging, witnessing the pain that her daughtersenduredhasopenedupessentialconversationsandis bringing justice to other women who have silently suffered for years.

I’mthrilledtoannouncethereleaseofmy2025-2026fallclothing line,Trysh’sTreasure!I’mbeyondecstaticaboutthislaunch.This "dream"startedin2018,andit’sincredibletoseeitfinallycometo life.

Fancy:Howwouldyoudescribeyourswagher?Whatmakes Ms.Trish,Ms.Trish?

Ms. Trish: My SwagHer is that I’m a relentless dream chaser. I wanttoleavethisworldempty,havingpouredeverythingintomy passions and pursuits. When something sparks my curiosity, I dive into research, seek out mentors, study the industry, and move forward with intention. I don’t fear failure—it’s simply a chancetolearnandgrow.Andthat’ssomethingItrulyloveabout

Fancy: Where can readers connect withyou?

Ms.Trish: We’re on a mission to grow our YouTube presence, and I’d be honored to have each of you join us there! Visit us at https://www.youtube.com/@TrishStand leyTV.

Photography by Calvin Finklea Photography.

BRUNCH WITH THE BOYZ PODCAST: SERVING REAL TALK WITH FLAVOR

ByFrancheska“Fancy”Felder

Most magazines feature a full-page advertisement, which you're also welcome to do. Why not partner with a local business and feature their products? Not your style? Simply include some contact information and tell your audience how to reach you. Add your social media handles, email, or even any publication information you think they'd be interested in. You can even just extend your cover photo to keep things clean and simple. A magazine can be a great way to reach your audience and communicate your message to the world. With great, curated content.

"Brunch with the Boyz" isn’t just a podcast—it’s a whole vibe. Picture your favorite brunch spot: the dishes are fire, but the conversations are the real main course. These three Black men deliver raw, unfiltered takes on love, dating, and relationships, serving up honest and hilarious insights that’ll have you laughing, nodding,andmaybeevenside-eyeingyoursituationship.

Whether you're here for the tea, the laughs, or the occasional spicy debate, "Brunch with the Boyz" knows how to keep it relatable. Their signature themes and recurring topics, or “staple brunch dishes,” bring something fresh to the table every time, from heartfelt moments to those “oh no, he didn’t” conversations that somehow go left. Perfectly seasoned with humor and realness, this podcast is for anyone craving the perfect mix of deeptruthsandlight-heartedbanter.

Fancy:Tostartoff,caneachofyouintroduceyourselvesand describeyourswagger?Whatmakesyou,you?

Gent: Mr. Gent outchea…., the voice of reason with a sharp edge. I’m about keeping it real, speaking the truth with that smooth delivery. I bring logic, balance, and a little bit of fire when needed, but always with a cool head. My swagger? It’s about being grounded, knowing myself, and making sure every conversationleavespeoplethinkingdeeperabouttheirlives.

Jeezy: Jeeeeeeezzzzzzy, the dude with the sauce. My swag comes from mixing humor with experience, always ready to keep the vibes light but still dropping some heavy gems. I’m the one who makes sure the tough conversations are digestible, but I’m never afraid to take it there when it’s time tobereal.

Dez: King Dez, the heart of the crew. I’m the one who brings the passion and a touch of sensitivity—don’t get it twisted, though. I’m just as raw as the rest. My swagger is about tapping into emotions and not being afraid to talk about the messy parts of love. I’m here to make sure we connect on a deeperlevel.

Fancy: "Brunch with the Boyz" focuses uniquely on relationship dynamics from a male perspective, primarily cateringtoafemaleaudience.Whatinspiredyoutocreate apodcastwiththisspecificangle?

Gent: We saw a gap in the conversation—everyone talks about relationships, but how often do you hear men giving real, unfiltered perspectives? "Brunch with the Boyz" came from a place of wanting to build a bridge where women can actually hear what men think and feel—no sugarcoating. We’re here to show that men do talk about this stuff, and we’re not afraid to putitalloutthere.

Jeezy: Women always ask, "What are men thinking?" and we’re here to answer that. But it’s more than just spilling our thoughts—it’s about opening a dialogue, challenging ourselves, and challenging what’s expected of us as men. We wanted to create a space where women could relate but also get a deeper understanding of how men approach love, trust, jealousy—allofit.

Fancy: Your episodes blend profound insights with playful banter. How do you strike that balance between humor and meaningful discussion, especially on topics as complex as love andrelationships?

Dez: It’s all about keeping it real. You can’t talk about love without acknowledging that sometimes it’s funny, awkward, and unpredictable. Humor breaks down those walls and allows ustogetintotherealtalkwithoutfeelingtooheavy.

Gent:ThebalancecomesnaturallybecauserelationshipsWe

aren’t one-dimensional. Sometimes, you’re deep in your feelings, and other times, you’re laughing at how ridiculous it all is. We respect the complexity of love, but we also know life’s too short to be serious all the time. The banter keeps it relatable, and when we do dive into those deep conversations, the humor helpsmakethehardtruthseasiertodigest.

Fancy: As men sharing stories and experiences about relationships, how do you ensure that the conversations remain relatable and engaging for your female listeners? Whatfeedbackhaveyoureceivedfromyouraudience?

Jeezy: We listen. Our female audience is the show's heartbeat, and they let us know when we hit or miss. The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive because we ensure we’re speaking from a place of honesty and vulnerability. We talk about what’s real, not what sounds good, and that’s what women appreciate.

Gent: We also stay conscious of how we come across. It’s essential to respect the female perspective, even when we’re challengingit.It’saboutstartingaconversation,nottelling

anyone what to think. Women have told us they love that we don’t shy away from uncomfortable topics—if anything, they encourageit.

Fancy: Every brunch has its staple dishes—what would you say are the signature themes or recurring topics on "Brunch with the Boyz" that your listeners can always expect?

Dez: Jealousy is one of our big ones. It’s something everyone deals with but nobody wants to admit. Is it love? Is it insecurity? We tackle that from all angles. You can always expect us to dive into the dynamics of trust, communication,andwhatloyaltyreallylookslike.

Jeezy: Another staple? The game of dating. Whether you’re new to it, in a relationship, or figuring out marriage, we’ve got you. We bring those real-life scenarios and mix them withsomegamestohelpyounavigatethosetrickywaters.

Fancy: With so many podcasts out there discussing relationships,whatdoyoubelievesets"Brunchwiththe Boyz" apart from the rest? What makes your content standout?

Gent: We don’t just talk about relationships; we live them. The perspectives we bring aren’t just opinions—they’re experiences. What sets us apart is our rawness. We’re not trying to be polished or perfect; we’re just trying to be genuine. We talk about the ugly side of love just as much as wetalkaboutthebeauty.

Dez: And we’ve got range. We can hit you with the deep stuff, the laughs, the awkward moments—we give you the full spectrum of relationships. Women come to us because they knowthey’llgetsomethingauthentic.

Fancy: In your podcast, you often "stir the pot" with candid conversations. Can you share a time when a discussion got particularly heated or led to surprising revelations?Howdidyourlistenersrespond?

Jeezy: Oh, man—our episode on cheating definitely stirred some things up. We had a real conversation about whether a man can cheat and still love his partner. The takes got heatedbecauseweweren’tallonthesamepage,butthat’s

Gent: The listeners were into it. Some said, “You need to check your boys,” and others appreciated the honesty. At the end of the day, the feedback showed us that even when the conversation is uncomfortable, it’s needed. People respected that wedidn’tshyawayfromit.

Fancy: Looking forward, what are your goals for "BrunchwiththeBoyz"?

Dez: We want to keep building the community. It’s more than just a podcast—it’s a space where men and women can come together, share, and learn from each other. We’re considering expanding the brand, doing live events, and bringing more voices intotheconversation.

by Kalysa Wilson | Pinktravelista.

Photography

Are You in a Toxic Friendship? “friend”

Ray Charles

Friendships are supposed to be supportive, fun, and fulfilling, but sometimes, they can become toxic. These unhealthy relationships can drain your energy, lower your self-esteem, and leave you questioning your worth. The tricky part is that toxic friendships aren’t always easy to spot, especially if you’ve been friends for a long time. To help you navigate these murky waters, we’ve compiled a guide and a quiz to help you identify potential red flags in your friendships.

Signs of a Toxic Friendship

Before you complete the quiz, it’s essential to understand some common signs of a toxic friendship. If these behaviors sound familiar, it might take time to reassess the relationship.

Constant Negativity

Toxic friends often bring negativity into your life. They might constantly complain, criticize, or belittle your achievements. Instead of celebrating your successes, they might downplay them or make you feel guilty for being happy.

Manipulation

Manipulative friends may use guilt, flattery, or threats to get what they want. They might play on your emotions, make you feel responsible for their happiness, or twist situations to make you feel like you’re in the wrong.

Lack of Support

True friends are there for you during tough times. If your friend is never around when you need support or if they dismiss your feelings, this could be a sign of a toxic relationship.

Competitiveness

While a little friendly competition can be healthy, excessive jealousy and competitiveness are not. A toxic friend may always try to outdo you, compare themselves to you, or become envious of your success.

Energy Drain

Do you feel emotionally exhausted after spending time with this friend? Unhealthy friendships can leave you feeling drained, anxious, or stressed rather than uplifted and happy.

Disrespect for Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, and a solid friend respects them. If your friend regularly disregards your limits, pressures you into uncomfortable situations, or invades your privacy, that’s a major red flag.

One-Sided Relationship

In a healthy friendship, both parties give and take equally. However, if you constantly make plans, reach out, or support someone without receiving the same in return, this could indicate a toxic dynamic.

Take Our Quiz: Is Your FriendshipToxic?

Now that you know the warning signs, it’s time to evaluate your friendships. Our quiz will help determine whether you’re dealing with a toxic friend. Answer the following questions honestly:

1. How often does your friend criticize or belittle you, even in a joking manner?

a) Almost always

b) Often

c) Occasionally

d) Rarely or never

2. Do you feel anxious or drained after spending time with your friend?

a) Every time

b) Most of the time

c) Occasionally

d) Rarely or never

3 . When you need support, how does your friend usually respond?

a) They’re never there for me

b) They sometimes support me but often make it about themselves

c) They try to help but are inconsistent

d) They’re always supportive

4. Does your friend make you feel guilty or responsible for their emotions?

a) All the time

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely or never

5. How balanced is your friendship in terms of giving and taking?

a) I’m always the one giving, and they’re always taking

b) Mostly unbalanced, with me giving more

c) Somewhat balanced, but I feel I give more

d)We both give and take equally

6. Does your friend respect your personal boundaries?

a)Never, they constantly overstep

b)Rarely, they push my limits often

c)Sometimes, but they can be inconsiderate

d)Always, they respect my boundaries

7. How often does your friend show jealousy or try to compete with you?

a)All the time, it’s exhausting

b)Often, and it creates tension

c)Occasionally, but it doesn’t bother me much

d)Rarely or never, they’re genuinely happy for me

8. How does your friend react when you achieve something significant?

a)They downplay or ignore my achievements

b)They sometimes seem envious or indifferent

c)They congratulate me but make it about themselves

d)They genuinely celebrate my success

9. Do you feel comfortable being yourself around your friend?

a)No, I feel judged or criticized

b)Not really, I often hide parts of myself

c)Sometimes, but I’m cautious

d)Yes, I can be completely myself

10. How does your friend handle conflicts or disagreements?

a)They manipulate or guilt-trip me

b)They become defensive or aggressive

c)They’re inconsistent; sometimes we resolve it, sometimes not

d)We discuss and resolve conflicts maturely

Mostly A’s: Danger Zone

You are likely in a toxic friendship. Your friend’s behavior is harmful, and it might be time to reassess the relationship for your well-being.

Mostly B’s: Proceed with Caution

There are significant red flags in your friendship. Consider addressing these issues with your friend or evaluating whether this relationship is worth maintaining.

Mostly C’s: Mixed Signals

Your friendship has some unhealthy elements, but it’s not entirely toxic. However, be mindful of the areas that need improvement and consider whether this relationship benefits you.

Mostly D’s: Healthy Friendship

Your friendship is healthy and supportive. Continue nurturing this positive relationship while staying aware of potential issues that may arise.

What to Do Next

If you’ve identified that you’re in a toxic friendship, it’s crucial to take action. You can honestly talk with your friend about how their behavior affects you. If they’re unwilling to change or if the relationship continues to harm your well-being, it might be time to distance yourself or even end the friendship. You deserve friends who uplift, support, and respect you; heck, we all do. So, surround yourself with positive influences, and don’t be afraid to let go of relationships that no longer serve you. Taking care of your mental and emotional health is always a priority.

Take the quiz today and start building healthier, happier friendships!

KAY SHANEE, AN AUTHOR THAT ILLUMINATES BLACK LOVE

BYCHRISTINAWOODARD|PHOTOGRAPHYBY OCTAVIASCHOFIELDOFTAYK-ONEPHOTOGRAPHY

KayShaneeisdeeplycommittedtopromotingpositive representationsofBlackLove.Herpassionforuplifting narratives springs from personal experiences and a determinationtochallengeallthenegativestereotypes of Black relationships perpetuated by the media. Motivated by the deep bond with her husband, Kay began to highlight the depth, intensity, and beauty of Black Love often overlooked by society. Through her extensiveliteraryportfolio—consistingofover40books —Kay not only celebrates romantic partnerships but also explores the significance of love across various relationships within the Black community, including familialtiesandfriendships.

Kay entertains her readers by integrating authentic challengesintoherstories,whichleadstoempowering resolutionsandinstillshopeandinspiration.Joinusas wedelvedeeperintoKay’sjourney,herperspectiveson maintaining strong relationships, and the profound impact of her storytelling on fostering healthy connectionswithinandbeyondtheBlackcommunity.

Christina: What is your SwagHer? What makes Kay, Kay?

Kay: I think my transparency andauthenticitymakesme,me. Regardless of the situation, I will always present my true self.

Christina: What inspired you to start on a mission to promote positive narratives forBlackLove,andhowhas your personal journey influencedyourwriting?

Kay:Thelovebetweenmeand my husband is my main inspiration. However, because the media doesn’t give a positive portrayal of love between Black people, I want toshowtheworldthatthere’s asideofusthattheydon’tget anopportunitytowitness,and it’s a beautiful thing. Black people love each other with a fiercenessandapassionlikeno other, and the world needs to know.

Christina: What is the one thing you love most about writingandwhy?

Kay: I love creating my own littleworldsandgivingreaders somethingtoaspireto.Mostof my characters are educated professionals who own their own businesses or contribute positively to the workforce. Again, because the media portraysusinsuchanegative light, it’s important for me to showthepositiveside.

Christina:Withover40books dedicatedtoBlackLove,how doyoubelievetheycontribute to fostering healthy relationshipswithintheBlack community?

Kay: In my books I don’t only show healthy Black Love in romanticrelationships,butalso in parent/child, sisterhoods, brotherhoods, and friendships. Webuildstrongbondsthatlast alifetimeandit’simportantto know.

Christina: As someone who hasbeenmarriedforover26 years, can you share some things you’ve learned about maintaining a strong and healthyrelationship?

Kay: It may sound cliche, but communication is key. In relationships, no one can read minds. Problems and issues cannotbesolvedifyourpartner isnotawareofthem.Youmust also know your boundaries or limits and communicate those to your partner. Successful relationships, romantic or otherwise, take work, and you mustbewillingtodothework whentimesgetrough.

Christina: How do you navigatethebalancebetween portrayingrealisticchallenges in relationships while also uplifting and inspiring your readers to believe in the powerofBlackLove?

Kay: All of my books end happily ever after; however, that doesn’t mean they don’t experience real-life challenges. Before the book ends, they’ve discovered ways to conquer thosechallenges,whetheritbe through therapy, moving to another city, quitting a job, or ending a relationship. Whateveritis,attheendofthe book, the outcome will be positive.

Christina: Is there anything elseyouwouldliketoshare?

Kay: Reading is something that many people do to escape from the harsh realities of life. Although I write fiction, there are many aspectsofmystoriesthatare real. I hope that by reading them,readersareinspiredand encouraged. Sometimes, life willbecomedark,butthere’s alwayslightattheendofthe tunnel.

ConnectwithKaybelow:

Website: www.authorkayshanee.com

Instagram: @authorkayshanee

Facebook: AuthorKayShanee

IS YOUR SKIN REACTING TO MENOPAUSE?

By Kim Cross

Photographs by Kim Cross

Isyourskinreactingtomenopause?

The onset of menopause does a number on your hormones, your emotions, mood, hair, and all the places. Wouldn’titbewonderfultoagegracefullywithoutallthe chaos within our bodies? Nice thought…very lovely. Even with that, have you ever considered the impact of hormonalchangesonyourskin?

If not, let’s take a look. I’ll explain some things and give you recommendations for easing into and out of menopausewithouthavingtodealwithskinissues.

First, let’s define the stages of menopause and what happensduringeachone.Pleasenotethatthesearethe stages, but they are different for everyone. There are many reasons women experience menopause in their 30s, while some women experience no symptoms at all. Consulting a physician is the best way to determine whereyouare.

Asforyourskin,thinkofitasabeautifulbirthdaycake— there are stars, bubbles, and there’s gold shimmer holding it together. As menopause kicks in, the foundation holds strong – the part we see, feel, cleanse, and moisturize daily (we couldn’t live without it). But the stars,bubbles,andgoldshimmerstarttoweaken.No,I’m not crazy, think of stars, bubbles, and gold shimmer as the ceramides, water, and fatty acids – all the wonderful gluethatholdsourskintogetherandkeepsuslookingso youthful. Here’s what happens to all that wholesome goodnessasweenterperi-menopause:

less estrogen, less elasticity (more wrinkles because fewerbubblesmeanlessplump) estrogen regulates pigment (age spots magically appearfromwonkyhormones) weakened moisture barrier (more dryness where the starsareonthecake)

There’s a solution regardless of the stage you’rein.

1)Pre-menopausalyoungladies:Takecareof your skin while you’re young to prevent damage and worse-than-necessary skin issueslater.Usesunscreeneveryday.

2)Peri-menopausalfriends:Useproductsrich in sealers, moisturizers, hydrators, and antioxidants like avocado oil, mango butter, cocoabutter,andsheabutter.Tohelplockin the ceramides, water, and fatty acids you haveANDaddsome.Thekeyisconsistency.

3)Themostimportantthingforeverywoman is to create a routine for her skin, diet, and mentalhealth.

Cleanse with an emollient cleanser containing vitamin B3, glycerin, aloe vera, orhyaluronicacidfordeephydration.

Exfoliate with a sugar/salt scrub to remove dead cells and promote skin cell regenerationonceaweek.

Serum/oilisusedtopenetratedeeplyfor long-lasting moisture and add moisture losttolessestrogen.

Cream/lotion to seal it all in and prevent the water and oil loss that is making you soooodry.

Eat as healthy as your purse will allow. The foods we eat help our skin from the inside while our products help from the outside. I admit, I opted for meal plans once my household got REALLY busy. I use Fresh Meal Plan…give it a try if you’d ratherhavesomeoneelseputyourmeals together and your purse agrees. Like, it’s literallyheatandeatfreshfood.Plusthey lovesustainabilitylikeIdo!

If medications are not your thing, try acupunctureforhotflashes.Althoughitis not a permanent fix, an acupuncture session or two can temporarily tame the intensity. It also allows you to just be whilefindingrelief—somethingallwomen needfromtimetotime.

Overall, the goal here is for you to understand you are not alone during the season of menopause and there are ways to go through gracefully and care for your largestorganallatthesametime.Let’skeep theconversationgoing!

commentontheirposts,participatein industry-related conversations, and show your expertise. Building relationships through social media could lead to job opportunities down theline.

ActionableTip: Setagoaltoengage with at least three industry-related postsperday.Thiswillincreaseyour visibilityandhelpyoubuildmeaningful connections.

3. Use Hashtags and Job Search Tools

Hashtagsareanunderusedtoolwhen itcomestoboostingyourjobsearch.

On platforms like Twitter and Instagram, job-related hashtags like #JobSearch, #Hiring, and industryspecific tags can help you discover job openings and connect with recruiters. LinkedIn’s job search tool also allows you to apply directly and see how you compare with other candidates.Don’tbeafraidtosenda friendly follow-up message to recruiters after applying for positions. It shows initiative and keeps you at thetopoftheirmind.

Actionable Tip: Research and start using five job-related hashtags that align with your field. Follow companies you’re interested in on LinkedIn to stay updated on job openings.

Using social media to boost your job search can give you a competitive edgeintoday’smarket.Byoptimizing yourprofiles,networkingstrategically, andutilizinghashtagsandjobsearch tools, you can make a strong impressionandopenthedoortonew opportunities.Formorecareer

resources and job listings curated for Black women, visit our job board at https://jobs.swagheronline.com. Happyjobhunting!

EmbracingYour EmbracingYour BeautifulBody BeautifulBody BeyondtheFUPA BeyondtheFUPA

By Khadijah Phillips

As a mother of six, I know how hard it can be to feel confident in your body. Especially when you’re constantly bombarded with images of perfect bodies in the media. But it’s important to remember that everyone’s body is different, and there is no such thing as a perfect body.

If you’re self-conscious about your FUPA there are a few things you can do to conceal it and feel more confident. Choose high-waisted bottoms. Wear A-line dresses and skirts. Layer with cardigans and jackets Try wrap dresses and tops. Use patterns and textures. Embrace flowy tops and blouses. It’s important to remember that the key to dressing to conceal the FUPA is to wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident. There is no one-size-fitsall approach to fashion, so experiment until you find what works best for you.

Also, know that you are not alone. Many women struggle with body image issues, especially after having children. But it’s important to remember that your body is beautiful and strong, and it has done amazing things.

Here are some additional tips for gaining your self-confidence back: Focus on your health and well-being. Make sure you’re eating a healthy diet and getting regular exercise. This will help you feel better about yourself both physically and mentally.

Spend time with loved ones. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. They will help you feel good about yourself and boost your confidence. Do things that make you happy. Make time for activities that you enjoy, whether it’s reading, taking a yoga class, or spending time with your children. Doing things that make you happy will help you feel more positive about yourself.

Be patient with yourself. It takes time to rebuild self-confidence. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results immediately. Just keep working at it, and you will eventually reach your goal.

Last and most important! Wear what you want, and if that means the FUPA has to show, then so be it. You are gorgeous!!