COVID19

How I Explain the Pandemic to My Past Self

By Caroline Torres

*Doorbell rings*Why am I always having visitors when I just want to be left alone? ME: *Grunts* I’ll be there in a minnnnuuuutttteee… *opens the door* FUTURE ME: Hello! I have this urgent message for you from the future. You need to spend as much time with your friends as you can right now, you won’t regret it in 2020. ME: mhmmm, Hey! can you leave? FUTURE ME: No, no, Listen! Something really bad is going to hit the world! Like it’s going to be so bad, that people are going to be fighting over toilet paper! ME: Zombie Apocalypse! Oh No! The Walking Dead!!! FUTURE ME: *Tries not to laugh* Ummmm… not really, but that’s not as far-fetched as you may think. Have you by any chance seen the 2016 Australian film called Cooped Up? ME: *yawns* Look, I have things I need to do, I’m busy. I’ll watch your so-called Aussie film as soon as you leave. FUTURE ME: Okay, okay, absolutely! Just a quick question, what day is today? ME: December 31st, 2019. It’s New Year’s Eve, I’m going with my friends to celebrate, and we’ll be travelling together this coming week. I’m busy packing and… FUTURE ME: No, Travelling! That’s not a good idea. You’ll get exposed to too many people. ME: Exposed? What? What’s wrong with you? *points* What’s with the mask? FUTURE ME: Where are you going to travel? ME: Uhhhh… Japan? I have some family there I want to see. FUTURE ME: Cancel it! You know what? Just cancel ALL of your travel plans for 2020. Just do it. You don’t understand what I’m saying now, but you will later, just cancel. ME: No! Never! I’m supposed to go to Cameroon for an internship in the summer of 2020. You think I’m going to cancel that?! Absolutely not! Especially under the advice of… who are you again? FUTURE ME: *sighs* You don’t get it, do you?! I’m from January 2021, I’ve lived through 2020, I know what is going to happen, why don’t you just listen to me? ME: Okayyyy...? FUTURE ME: Stay home. Keep your immune system strong. ME: Is there going to be some disease going around? Like, as if I’m not already taking care of myself? Am I going to get sick or something? FUTURE ME: Uh… Let’s just say, you’ll survive; but many other people won’t be as fortunate. Let’s play a game. I’ll say a word, you tell me what comes to mind. ME: *is annoyed* Fiiiiiine... If it’ll make you leave sooner. FUTURE ME: Corona ME: Oh! Isn’t that a type of beer? FUTURE ME: Flattening the Curve ME: Uhhhhh, people trying to prove the earth is flat? FUTURE ME: Social-distancing ME: A safe haven for introverts like me!

FUTURE ME: COVID19 ME: Uhhh…That’s not even a word. FUTURE ME: Murder hornets. ME: A sci-fi movie creature? Or maybe the name of a criminal gang? FUTURE ME: ZOOM ME: To look at something more closely? FUTURE ME: Beirut. ME: Wait… what? Just get to the point! FUTURE ME: SARS ME: A really dangerous virus that killed a lot of people in 2003...but wait- you’re not being clear with me. Tell me right now! What’s going to happen? FUTURE ME: Fine. Let’s just say, that something really really bad is going to come out of China and...um... well, it will turn the world upside down, mess-up the economy, and upend everyone’s lives. You’re going to have to shelter in home. You’ll get very sick and live; but over 2 million will die. There’s going to be rumors of World War III. There’s going to be peaceful protests, violent riots, and political backlash. Many famous people are going to die. The stock markets are going to crash. Many will lose their jobs. There will be a shortage of toilet paper. There will be devastating explosions, wildfires, earthquakes, locust plagues, and… ME: That sounds like a movie. You’re not serious are you? FUTURE ME: I wish I could say it was a movie, but it's not. Its reality. ME: That… oh no, 2020 sounds awful! FUTURE ME: *grins* Just stay at home, wash your hands, wear a mask, you know what?! Go ahead, buy several face masks for yourself before the clock strikes 12 AM. There will even be a shortage of those too. And stay as far away from China as you can. ME: *sighs* So I can’t go to Japan? FUTURE ME: No. Don’t do it. ME: Is anything good going to happen in 2020? FUTURE ME: Sure! The environment will be very happy, since there will be a lot less pollution in 2020. Also, you know Shakira? She’s going to be performing during the half-time of the Super Bowl. Hmmm… What else… Ah yes! You will finally have a good excuse for wanting to stay home and your friends won’t be bugging you anymore about you staying inside “too much”! ME: That’s really nice! FUTURE ME: You’ll even have more than enough time to catch up on all of your favorite anime too! ME: Now that’s something I can look forward to, hehe! FUTURE ME: Just think of 2020 as the year you are actually allowed to be lazy. ME: That’s nice and all, but is the world going to be okay? FUTURE ME: As of January 2021, the world has not ended yet. Humans will learn to survive although many will say this was a horrible year. 2021 has a slightly more positive outlook than 2020! ME: So there won’t be a nuclear war? FUTURE ME: Nope, at least not in 2020! Anyways, I’ll have to go back to the future, to January 2021, but I hope you’ll heed my words and take my advice! ME: You’re finally leaving! FUTURE ME: *disappears* ME: *shuts the door* Huh, well that was weird…but anyway, Yaaaaay! I’m finally by myself again!!! I still wants to go to Japan.