Movie Review: Rare Exports

By Iona Hillman Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) is a tongue-incheek Finnish horror-comedy film about a young boy and his discovery of the secret behind Santa Claus. The film is based on a short film titled Rare Exports Inc. (2003) and its sequel Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions (2005).

The movie starts during the week before Christmas when a young boy by the name of Pietari and his friend Juuso stumble across suspicious drilling activity taking place on top of a nearby mountain. Pietari soon becomes convinced that within the mountain lies Santa Claus, but not the jolly red-cheeked image on Coca-Cola bottles or from your childhood stories. As children start disappearing from their beds and reindeer being slaughtered in herds, Pietari confirms that the mountain is the home of Joulupukki, a version of Santa Claus in Finnish folklore often depicted in scenes punishing and eating children. After trapping one of his elves with the help of his father, Pietari embarks on a mission to save the missing children and defeat Joulupukki.

After getting over the initial shock of how absolutely bizarre the entire concept of this film is, it is safe to say that I have found a new Christmas tradition. It is important to know that this movie is not something to try to understand but to experience. Rare Exports is an ingenious twist on your classic holiday film that presents itself as the antichrist to hallmark movies. Take a 10-year-old hero combined with outlandish stunts, epic explosions, and a little bit of Christmas magic, all thrown into the deep wilderness of Finland, and you have yourself the most Finnish movie ever made.

Although I am tempted to recommend this movie a strong 20/10, I believe that it is also important to recognize that Rare Exports may not be for everyone. Some elements of the movie that could be somewhat potentially upsetting include: kids stuffed in sacks, dead reindeers, a greedy businessman who looks like the Bowler Hat Guy minus the handlebar mustache, a literal child attempting to sacrifice himself and shouting, “Tell my father what I did!”, and finally, old naked men running through the snow in the dead of night while attempting to attack said child.

If you’re still interested even after reading this review, you can find the movie on various platforms such as Tubi, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, etc. Now while it goes without saying that Rare Exports is probably not a “family movie,” I can confidently say that there is no other movie like it. Do you have the sisu to watch it?

Watch on TubiTv—free with commercials Watch on Amazon—$1.00 rental