Sweet Lemon Magazine [issue no.11] by Sweet Lemon Media

ISSUE 11 OCT/NOV 2013

A letter from

the Vice President It’s funny how you can wander your way into something that just one year later you have to wonder what you ever did without it. For me, that “something” is Sweet Lemon. I joined Sweet Lemon as a contributor in August 2012 -- back in the Zesty Digest days -- during a particularly unfulfilling period right after graduating college. I needed a new adventure. The Internet gods sensed this too, apparently, because across my Twitter feed skirted a call for applications for contributors. I started writing two weeks later. Sometimes when you start something new, you wade in slowly - toes first, and dreading the moment when you get in up to your belly button and feel that inevitable up-the-spine chill of the new water. This wasn’t one of those situations; I was all in. A few months after I started, our Editor-In-Chief, Paris, half-requested, half-ambushed me into a core team meeting about Sweet Lemon Issue 9. On Google Hangout I came face to face with some of the ladies I’d grow closer with than some people who I see in person every day. Did I want to copy edit? What were my thoughts? We were going through a re-brand -- did I like the new direction? This was the penultimate moment to get more deeply involved. I closed my laptop after that call and I felt excited. I’ve clocked a lot of hours at that same, decrepit laptop since then, all of them fueled by that same excitement, that same passion. We put our words out into the Internet-sphere and you’ve all responded with your own passions, perspective, and excitement -- and I, for one, couldn’t be more grateful. A friend of a friend from college asked me the other day what I do, as in for a living. Once you graduate this seems to be the first question anyone asks you, in the same way that when you first got to college the question pattern was “what’s your name?” followed by “where are you from?” I told her that I have my day job (which I happen to love) and then I have my passion project. And the more I thought about it, most people I know would give a similar answer. That may be partly because I’ve recruited a good number of writer-friends 2

for SL, but it’s mostly because it seems that this idea of multi-tasking passion with paychecks is the most glaring trait of our Millennial Generation. We’re doers, innovators, jugglers, networkers, joiners, go-getters, dreamers with a plan for getting things up, running, and thriving. Sweet Lemon, as I see it, is a hub for this type of person. Since the launch of Issue 9 back in May we’ve taken massive strides as a group -- bringing on dozens more contributors, expanding our brand partnerships, and creating new entities like Sweet Lemon TV and Sweet Lemon Reads that fall under the new umbrella we call Sweet Lemon Media. I’ve always pushed back on the idea that beauty and brains couldn’t live in the same place; the idea that intelligence and physical confidence were mutually exclusive never quite jived with me. Maybe that’s because I grew up with a mother and grandmother who broke that mold every day and who taught me it’s okay to care about pop culture and also have an opinion on voting rights -- which I do. Both our team and our readers seem to share these values and this multi-faceted, multi-passion driven approach to life. We at Sweet Lemon try to reflect that, both in our magazine and in our daily content.

I’m so proud of the spectrum of things we cover and I’ve always yearned for a place that would tell me what new reason I have to love-hate Miley Cyrus for, where I can find the best Sunday farmer’s market, why I should or shouldn’t be proud of Congress, and who’s moving and shaking my corner of the globe. I’ve found that with Sweet Lemon and I look back now wondering how I ever did without it. I hope you do, too. Here’s to having passions -- lots of them -- and to finding a home for them all in one place.

Ali Vitali Vice President, Sweet Lemon Media @alivitali

MEET THE SWEET Paris Rouzati // editor-in-chief Paris is part geek, and part chic. She fancies lame jokes, TED Talks, spontaneous dance parties, and red lipstick. She enjoys witty banter over a cup of tea (or two), and consumes more Nutella than recommended. She believes that a life without giving isn’t really living. Follow her: @ParisRouzati - www.parisrouzati.com

ALI VITALI // VICE PRESIDENT

Ali is a digital journalist with a passion for politics, pop culture, and live-tweeting press conferences. She worships at the alter of Liz Lemon, Carrie Bradshaw, and Sloan Sabbith. Ali is still trying to make “fetch” happen. #RollWave

Follow her: @alivitali - WWW.ALIVITALI.COM

TIFFANY OLSON // CREATIVE director

Tiffany is a stylist, writer and travel lover. She dreams of attending Paris Fashion Week, being BFF with Wintour, and having a separate, large, shoe closet. Obsessed with macarons and peonies before it was a thing. #SorryShesNotSorry about her Royal obsession. Coffee, blogs, Valentino, girl talk. Married to a Sports Journalist, so that explains the frequent sports tweets. Work hard and be nice to people. Follow her: @TiffanyTweet - www.tiffanystyleblog.com 4

EET LEMON TEAM

KELSEY REIFLER // ART director Kelsey is passionate about creating for a cause, and aims to harness the power of design to make a positive difference. She adores book stores, unplanned evenings, design blogs and rooftops. She never leaves home without headphones, a good book and her beloved Moleskin notebook.

Follow her: @KREIFLER - WWW.KELSEYREIFLER.COM

Zoë Björnson//Marketing Director Zoë is a California girl at heart, but having spent time in New Orleans, New York and Copenhagen, she’s always ready for an adventure. She digs good food (you should see her Instagram, can you say #foodporn?), fabulous shoes, and sunshine. She believes in the power of social media, but there’s nothing like lunch with an old friend.

Follow her: @kzoeb

ISSUE 11 CONTRIBUTORS EDITORIAL TEAM:

! 6

Shayda

Hannah

Alexandra

Nematollahi Contributing Author @love_shayda

Matthew Contributing Author

Lemley Managing Editor @AlexLemley

Emilia MoranoWilliams Contributing Author @emilialiveslife

Carleton English Contributing Author @ carletonenglish

Sara Anwar Contributing Author @SaraZAnwar

Jake Woolf Product Curator @ JakeWoolf

LAUREN PARISI Social Media Manager @laurenrparisi

Vett Vandiver Contributing Author @vettt14

Mae Badiyan Contributing Author @maebad

Michelle

Cyrus Roepers Contributing Author

Vogel Contributing Author @ Mishvo

Melanie Schneider Contributing Author @SchneidMelanie

Lindsey Sampson Contributing Author @lindseygsampson

FreeQuency (Mwende Katwiwa)

Contributing Author @ FreeQthaMighty

Alex Trice Contributing Author @tricealex7

PRODUCTION TEAM: Jamie Hopper Photographer

Brielle Brenner Makeup Artist @ fashionisabitch

Justin Bridges Photographer @tuckedstyle

Mequilla FarraR Makeup Artist @ Makeupbymikki

Diana Shelton Makeup Artist @dianacshelton

Niraj Mehdiratta Photographer @niraj26

Guide to:

issue no.11 STYLE 12

Sweet On------

Menswear 101------

Shoppables------

Cool & Collected------

Tucked Style------

Waiting on Martha------

195

Stila Picks------

BEAUTY & WELLNESS 64

BloBar------

70 Gym Free Guns & Buns-------75 Deciphering the NFL------180 Fabulous Fall Beauty--------

No.28 No.27

CULTURE 42 The Modern Renaissance Man------116 Campaign Finance------176 Politics Can Be Pretty------185 Before You Press Play------190

No.49

Behind the ‘Tucked Style’ Lens------

HOME & TRAVEL 134

How to Host a Fall Party in Style------

144 Teaching in Thailand------106 Hong Kong It Girl------

POEMS & STORIES 82

Souvenir------

Swatting Mayflies & Being in the Pocket------

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Sorry------

114

Traveling Alone------

OCTOBER 1

Sweet Lemon’s juic

Columbus Day (meh.) Ralph Lauren and Usher b’days

National Boss Day (Hey Michael Scott) & Exec Editor Alex Lemley’s Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GWEN

World Vegetarian Day! Go hug your favorite herbivore.

United Nations Day

Hillary Clinton’s Birthday

Happy Halloween “I’m a mouse...duh”

NOVEMBER NOVEMBER

cy picks for this fall Daylight Savings Time Ends. Fall Back!

11 Veterans’ Day

Ryan Gosling Birthday. Hey girl, it’s my bday.

Miley’s Bday. Twerk.

12 23

America Recycles Day

28 Turkey Day

World Peace Day

Get your shop on.

K C A L B Y A D I R 11 F

NYC to Nola, Toronto to Atlanta From

we bring you this season’s top

music & style picks

Ellie Goulding “Halcyon Days”

Tom Ford naked gloss

1 PARIS’ SWEET ON Alex and Chloe beanie

d 620 Jbran kinny s super jean

LV bag

Aquazurra Sloane Shoes

Ka te

as se

3 ALI’S SWEET ON

Vanil la Cand Yankee le

Naked and Famous “In Rolling Waves”

Jbrand velvet super skinny pants

TedBaker shoes in nude

HAIM “Days Are Gone”

1 4

Aqua bo friend yblaze r

2 KELS’ SWEET ON

Rag and Bone boyfriend jeans

Helmut Lang scrunched blazer

4 body s s o ell cr adew

ition ook d e teb ted limi skin no e Mol

Matt Bernson Holt Cube suede booties bag

1 Alex and Chloe ‘lovin’ tee

Britney Spears “Work B**ch” Single

Maison Martin Margiela Knuckle Duster Ring Set

3 5

Za Pu ra mp s

TIFF’S SWEET ON

Jcrew Emegercy Kit Alt J “An Awesome Wave”

u” S s “Y

Joe’s envelope clutch

atin il

Report Fairfield Bootie

c Pen

Milly knitted sweater

Lip

Nar

ZOE’S SWEET ON

Gucci Bag

the a e l l wel rt e d Ma er ski t ska

Contributor Jake Woolfâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top picks this season

1.A.P.C Backpack//2.Club Monaco Sweatpants//3. Visvim - Kilgore JKT Kapala Slub // 4.Goodrich-Hi Sneaker //5. Visvim FBT AMDO-Folk Moccasins//6.CavEmpt Tee// 7. Engineered Garments Beach Popover

CURRENTLY CHANNELING

Illustration: richard davies//1.Topshop Jacket//2.Tom Ford Sunglasses//3.Sephora Lashes//4.Topshop Bralette//5.Topshop Neckalce//6.Lulu and Co shirt//7.Lips Ring (information upon request)//8.Givenchy Eyeliner//9.Topshop sweater//10.Nina Ricci Skirt//11.Tibi skirt//12.Sam Edelman shoes

2 3

7 8 9

CURRENTLY CHANNELING

illustration: Ayknroses//1.topshop corset//2.Acrimony ring//3. jbrand leather pants//4.manolo blahnik shoes//5.kenneth jay lane cuff//6.iphone 5s gold//7.karl alley hat//8.art print by ruben ireland//9.studded gloves phillip lim//10.jcrew tuxedo shoes//11. asos poneytail cuff

1 3

7 4 6

11 9

CURRENTLY CHANNELING

illustration richard davies//1.Asos cat ears//2. Brian Lichtenberg sweatshirt//3.asos cat tee//4.boutique 9 loafers//5.johnathan adler salt and pepper shakers//6.asos cat collar pin//7.asos beret//8.topshop sunglasses//9.charlotte olympia heels//10. moschino cat bag//11.asos cat ring

5 3

8 7 10

NEED PHOTOGRAPHER INFO http://jamiehopperphotography.com Photography: Jamie Hopper Models paris rouzati tiffany olson Makeup: Diana Shelton& (Stila Cosmetics)

Hair: Mequilla Farrar Styled By: Tiffany Olson & Paris Rouzati; courtesy of Neiman Marcus

Hat: Burberry Jacket: Theory Denim: 7 for All Mankind Shirt: Dsquared2 Bowtie: Tom Ford Shoes: Calvin Klein

Trench Coat: Burberry Jeans: DL1961 Booties: Chanel Bag: Chanel

Hat: J. Crew Sweatshirt: Haute Hippie Jeans: J.Brand Heels: Valentino Bangle: Chanel

Shirt: J. Crew Sweater: Tory Burch Necklace: J. Crew Skirt: Red Valentino Boots: Michael Kors

Shirt: Billy Reid Sweater: Billy Reid Pants: Billy Reid Bowtie: Tom Ford Sneakers: Android Homme 34

Tweed Jacket: Rebecca Taylor Shirt: Equipment Shorts: Robert Rodriguez Heels: Nicholas Kirkwood Necklace: J.Crew 37

Fur Coat: Alice and Olivia Skirt: Nonoo Booties: Chanel Watch: Michael Kors

Shirt: J.Crew Brooch: Chanel Skirt: Robert Rodriguez Heels: Valentino Watch: Michael Kors

JUSTIN BRIDGES THE MAN BEHIND THE“TUCKED STYLE” Lens BY SARA ANWAR @SaraZAnwar | Photography by Niraj Mehdiratta

Justin Bridges, a New Yorker capturing the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most diverse and distinct style, is known for his thick, refined fashion photo portfolio-and rightfully so. He is the curator behind the lens of Tucked Style. His photographs leave you celebrating the pieces for more than just the outfits that are being worn, but for the stories the photographs convey. Justinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fashion photography skills have landed him among the most noteworthy stylists, designers, photographers, models and fashion publications such as GQ Magazine.

And, although his resume exceeds that of many in the industry, he hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forgotten his roots. Born and raised in the south---Atlanta, to be more precise---his refreshing outlook on life pins him as humble and sincere. He seems to revel in simplicity, lounging and enjoying the outdoors, or sitting in coffee shops with few patrons. He enjoys the company of his friends, who he also says are his biggest inspiration aside from his parents. He says the success of his friends, in a sense, is also the result of his own.

It’s always tough to pursue dreams no matter how badly you may want them especially when you are already headed in a secure and stable direction. From interviewing Justin, his most obvious trait was bravery and passion for his craft. He left a job in finance to go after his real fervor, and although he was initially nervous and hesitant, he whole-heartedly made the leap and his success mirrors that. Even more intriguing about Justin is his desire to have a legacy not solely based on fashion photography. He’d like to have his talents play beyond the boundaries of style and fashion and have a more humanized and profound outcome. He hopes to give back by contributing his photography talents in realistic events such as conflict regions, regions of social or political unrest, or perhaps, even war zones. We were thrilled to get to know the talented Mr. Bridges. Here is more of our conversation: When you made the transition from finance to the fashion/photography industry, were your thoughts and expectations true to the reality of it all? I don’t think I’ve ever done something where my expectations were par with the reality of the circumstance. No matter how many mentors or friendly peers you have, everyone processes life with a filter and therefore shares their tainted reality with you. I think there were some things that I expected and they came true and some things that weren’t even within consideration that have caught me off guard. I love every bit of the good and bad. It makes the struggle worth it.

If you can photograph and style anyone—dead or alive—who would it be and why? Oh man, this is a question better for a different type of person. I suck at pop culture, and I’m not in awe of people in that type of way. I just love interesting people with a range of emotion and expression. Honestly, the one thing I want to photograph (even though it scares me to death) is a conflict region like Syria, Afghanistan, or peeling back the shroud of a place like North Korea. Again, it’s scary and I’d have to muster up courage but photography is more than fashion to me. I love fashion, but I want my legacy to reflect a search for base human emotion, a level of sincere reality, and spreading a message that is greater than the clothes and models I make my living on. I have somewhat of a yearning to give back using my talents. Give me a visual of your everyday wear; how would you describe your personal style? What must you have? To borrow a word from a best friend with excellent style, I would define my style as somewhat “sport forward,” punk (at times), layered but minimalist. I have a huge inclination towards the idea of “cozy boy” style… knit heavy; sweaters and drop crotch silhouettes, asymmetrical t-shirt constructions and high cropped skinny trousers… The types of things change but the colors usually revolve around black, navy and white. That’s the best I can do. Take us through your ideal work day. I work at home, so I like to be up and have breakfast before most people get to their desks. I usually hit my desk by 9am and start with e-mails, followed by organizing thoughts and todos. I juggle any on-going projects and work on

prospecting new clients. I don’t do this every day but I like to try to instill a nap time before lunch each day; but keep in mind, I work late night hours so I think it’s smart to make sure you get some rest when you can fit it in. In the afternoon, I like to start my edits, but most of my edits get done around and after dinner time when it’s dark out and less social media and email to focus on. That’s kind of my typical day, but an ideal day would be a full day of shooting. What piece of advice do you have for those who want to get into the fashion and/or fashion photography world? It’s all about drive, “sticktoitiveness” and development of talent. I mean I can answer this a million ways, you just have to be intelligent, sincere, and approach it with a degree of calculated risk-taking. There may be different career paths in fashion or photography that are different from being an investment banker or a doctor or a graphic designer….but, I think there are just universal core strengths and abilities that will help you drive your success in any professional setting you set your

sights on. To be specific about this industry would take longer than a paragraph given my mental prose. What is your favorite look for female style that you’ve photographed lately? Hmmm...good question. I dig the juxtaposition of a boxy top with a more clean-lined skirt or other silhouette on the bottom. I like the strong contrast of a monotone or two color look with vivid and colorful accessories to bring the outfit to life. I really appreciate oversized items year round, like a casual crew neck. The combination of more casual cut-off or high-waisted denim with a more formalized high design yielding that high-low feel is pretty awesome. The crop top had a huge showing in the S/S’14 collections and it’s also showed its face all through the streets this season as well. I’m a fan when it’s done tastefully. What is your ultimate desire in respects to the industry? I would like to be a household name, but not because of the pure popularity of it. I just want to be respected and desired for my talents. Ideally, I want to shoot campaigns and advertising and also use that money to fund my creative pursuits. I want to be able to dabble in fine art and other passion projects including photojournalistic essays. My biggest goal of 2013 is to shoot for print and book a campaign. I know I’m young, but I’m hungry and it’s good to set your sights high. Sweet Lemon was lucky to get some of Justin’s most favorite works he has shot (see our article, ‘Tucked Style’) let us know what you think and see more of his talented work at www. tuckedstyle.com/ or justinbridges.com and look out for his first project,Book I: Beginnings (TBA).

PHOTOGRAPHED BY JUSTIN BRIDGES 49

YA N

BY Mae Badiyan, BY MAE @maebad BADIYAN

I don’t remember much about walking across the stage at my law school graduation. I of course remember what I was wearing—a brand new black suit with the slightest metallic silver pinstripe and fancy shoes. I remember thinking finally! And I most certainly remember considering where I would work and what briefcase I would take into the office on my first day. But in all those day dreams, that day at graduation and even beforehand, I never thought that years later I would own my own business—and a salon at that! After walking across the stage and claiming my diploma, legal jobs came and went, trips were taken, memories and decisions were made. I traveled a path and ended up here: the owner of The Blo Bar, a luxury spa and salon on busy Main Street in the town where I grew up. Cra-zy. I had always done things differently than the norm. I found out quickly after starting my first big girl job in a corporate law firm that a 9 to 5 was really more like a 7 to 7 -- and it wasn’t for me. So I marched myself into my boss’ huge corner office and asked (maybe demanded, and perhaps whined) if I could please switch things up a bit. I wanted to work from home some days, I wanted to visit clients other days, and I had ideas. 65

I was so fortunate that my first experience in Corporate Americaland was a positive one. My boss was receptive, nurturing, and helped me to flourish. I eventually moved on to a bigger and better opportunity at a bigger and better firm. But I always had my eye on the next thing. I could never sit still. So I moved to the Middle East and worked in non-profit and fed my heart and soul for a little bit. This may have been my pray moment. When I returned to the U.S. at the end of last year, I was faced with a huge dilemma: go back to work in the field of law, sit in a office and play by someone else’s rules, or do my own thing. Guess what? I choose the latter. Making that choice was easy compared to the next step of figuring out what to do. At that point, I was consulting for small business owners and styling some photo shoots. I had a large network from previous experiences and was loving the fact that I could pick and choose the projects I was working on. But I knew that I needed to do something bigger and contribute a little bit more to the world. I was having dinner at my grandparent’s home one night, telling my dad about a couple random business ideas I had. When I told him about the blowout bar craze, he was immediately intrigued and really encouraged me to do it. What happened after that was a whirlwind. A blurred frenzy of visiting locations, picking equipment, phone calls, paperwork, and Googling. Oh, the Googling. I knew that my salon would serve a larger purpose. I wanted a big, beautiful space that could not only produce fabulous hair for women, but that would also serve to nurture their inner beings as well. I wanted to have educational classes, personal development and self-esteem workshops. On the surface, opening a beauty salon seemed shallow. But I knew that I wanted to create a business with 66

depth. One that was environmentally and socially conscious. One that would be involved with charities locally and abroad. What I was seeing out there in the world wasn’t working so I had to create exactly what I wanted so that I could contribute my small little part to making the world a better place. To me, a woman’s outside appearance is closely related to how she feels on the inside. This concept has nothing to do with society or how anyone else views her; it depends solely on what a woman decides to reflect outward. I wanted to help make her outside the best possible version so that she would have the confidence to conquer the world. I had to reconcile in my own mind the fact that I was opening a business that, to society, was seemingly only concerned with exterior beauty. I was determined to build a different model for how salons operated and were perceived by the world. To say that everything happened really quickly is not just cliche, but a total understatement. We secured a location, ordered equipment and inventory, and set up shop within 2 months. There were times where I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. There were others where I knew more than everyone else in the conversation and I had to convince them all to listen to me. I kept thinking, trust me, I’m a lawyer. Of course my legal skills helped tremendously when dealing with property issues and employment contracts and vendors, but I had to do a lot of research on the beauty industry as well. I could’ve used an Elle Woods crash course between years one and three of law school. And I’m not going to lie, most everything I learned about the beauty biz was from Google. Or, more accurately: Google led me to the source of information. I also asked a lot of questions from everyone that I came into contact with. I did research on the

best shampoo, what prices we should charge, our hours of operation, and client confidentiality. Everywhere I went I talked to people. I asked my own hair dresser for advice, I read a million blogs, I watched YouTube videos, and I also did a lot of praying. In those moments that I thought I knew, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d always find some small detail

that would show me I had more choices to make. Even the minutiae was of the utmost importance. For example, I knew the overall feel that I wanted to achieve in the space and I had most of my furniture and decorations, but I needed an accent color. I thought about it for days and finally decided on mint green. Finding the perfect shade of mint green presented more problems - like the obvious question: why are there 274 different shades to sift through? I remember feeling about ready to give up as I stood there in front of the paint samples at Loweâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. But inspiration has a sneaky way of striking when you need it to, and into my head popped a memory of the perfect shade of

nail polish. I went home, painted it on my nails, grabbed the bottle, and drove myself back over to Lowe’s. To this day, I’m still so thankful to that Lowe’s paint guy, who listened as I described what I wanted. He took my bottle of nail polish -- and my hand -- and led me all over the store until he mixed the perfect color for me. I was thrilled and now every time one of our guests comments on how beautiful the mint green is I secretly smile at the small stroke of luck (and genius, if I say so myself) that brought me to it.

it is: I get invited to a lot of swanky networking events and dinners and I have met wonderful new friends who are also new business owners. But then there are days at the salon that I answer the phones and sweep the floors and it’s more Cinderella than swanky. But I’ll take Cinderella - for the obvious reason that her fairy tale doesn’t end too badly, and I have a feeling mine won’t either. This place is mine. My efforts and my sacrifices are going into something that I built. Well, I built with help. Hey, even Cinderella had friends and helpers. In lieu of Jack and Gus, I had my parents. Their help and support has known no bounds.

There are tons of these stories and memories I have from along the way as we prepared to open. Like this one: Our space used to house an art gallery. We have large exterior windows and I knew that I wanted My takeaway from all of this is to cute mint blow dryers to hang in the chase your dreams. I know it’s cheesy window. For 3 weeks straight, I woke and I know others have said it before. up early on Saturday mornings to visit But the only way you will live the garage sales to buy old blow dryers. life that you want is if you build it for I scoured Craigslist and antique yourself. Whatever it looks like, go malls. I solicited friends and family for it. And if you’re ever in the market -- and even the secretary at my old for a good shade of mint green, you elementary school dropped off her know where to find me. blow dryer. I spent several late nights priming and painting them with my fabulous new mint paint. It was all over my hair, hands and clothes but Mae Badiyan // maebadiyan.com it’s all worth it every time I pull up and www.facebook.com/theblobarok see those dryers hanging in the window. I share these stories to show you that the life of an entrepreneur is not always glamorous. Sometimes

Fabulous

fall beauty By Shayda Nematollahi

It’s time to turn over a new leaf with these fabulous fall looks. Autumn is all about new beginnings, so why not start with your makeup routine? Don’t be afraid to try something new this season. From bold lips to effortless braids, this year’s looks are easier than ever to replicate and Sweet Lemon is here to show you how! Shayda Nematollahi // Tweet @love_shayda // IG @LoveShaydaXo Makeup: Shayda Nematollahi Hair Stylist: Alisha Ekman Photographer: Stevi Clack Photography http://steviclackphotography.com

HOW TO BOLD LIPS: A classic bold lip is one of our favorite fall accessories. Glossy wine-hued, burgundy lips paired with a soft brown or gray eye shadow embodies the dark, yet elegant and romantic looks we saw on the runway with designers like Givenchy and Marc Jacobs. It’s quick and easy way to define your lips, while still taking your look to the next level. Keep it matte or glossy, either way you’ll exude glamour. 1. Start with bare, clean lips. 2. Apply your favorite clear lip balm, we love EOS lip balm 3. Cover lips lightly with your base foundation to make your lipstick last. 4. Begin outlining your cupids bow and lower lip line using MAC ‘NightMoth’ liner. 5. Fill in the outer corners of your lips with the liner. Lip liner is a must if you want a clean look, and to prevent feathering of the lipstick 6. Apply lipstick in MAC “Dark Side”. For precise application and more dramatic look, use a lip brush when applying.

Tip: Add gloss for a more luminous shine.

7. Apply a second coat of lipstick to pump up the color.

OmbrE & CLASSIC RED

For fall, harsh, contrasting ombré is out and a light and soft ombré is in! A little less contrast between the base hair color and the ombré ends will give you a playful look for fall. If you’re going to try the ombré hair lean more toward darker and warm colors - think rich chocolate browns and caramel tones for autumn. TIP: Don't forget to nourish your hair! Whether you have ombré, colored or natural hair, keep your ends healthy and smooth with one of our favorites, MOROCCANOIL

THE CLASSIC RED Red lipstick takes a romantic turn this season, going a little darker and richer. Red lips are the ultimate sexy go-to for any gal. Don’t be afraid to stand out!

MAC “RUBY WOO” CHANEL Rouge Allure Lipstick “Pirate” DOLCE & GABBANA Classic Cream Lipstick “Iconic”

1. Start with applying MAC Pro Longwear Paint Pot in “Bare Study” all over your lid. 2. Then, as your transition color, apply MAC “Charcoal Brown” eyeshadow to the crease and lower lash line. 3. Begin blending MAC “Carbon” and “Swiss Chocolate” into the outer corner of your eye to create the smoked out look. Blending is key to the perfect smokey eye! 4. Lightly dust MAC “Ricepaper” eyeshadow into the inner corner of your eye. 5. Line your upper and lower lash lines with MAC Eye Kohl Liner in “Smolder” 6. Finally, apply MAC Plush Lash Mascara - don’t forget your bottom lashes!

SMOKEY EYES LIPS: Pair your smokey eye with a nude or soft pink lipstick!

THE CHIC MESSY BUN Autumn is all about looking glamourous and effortless at the same time. Pump up your hair game with a chic, messy bun. A styled bun is perfect for those day-to-night looks. Simply pull your hair back into a high ponytail, twist hair around in a circular motion and tuck the ends into the ponytail holder. Wear it slightly loose or tight - it’s up to you! Use bobby pins to secure loose hair and use hairspray to get rid of any fly aways. Shadow Colors (left to right) MAC “Charcoal Brown” MAC “Carbon” MAC “Swiss Chocolate” MAC “Ricepaper” Lipstick: MAC “PEARL PINK POP” YSL Creamy Neutral Beige

SIDE FISHTAIL BRAID

From fishtails to French, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re loving a classic braid for any fall look. Try out an easy side fishtail braid for instant casual-glam! 1. Use a paddle brush to smooth hair to one side into a low ponytail. Secure the ponytail with a clear hair elastic. 2. Split hair into two sections 3. Grab a small piece of hair from behind the right section and bring it over the the left section. 4. Then grab a small piece or hair from behind the left side and cross over to the right section. 5. Continue the steps 3 and 4 till you complete the braid. 6. Secure the braid with a hair elastic. 7. Remove the clear hair elastic by cutting it or pull it apart and off the braid. Then begin to loosen the braid by pulling each side gently. 8. Add hair spray if needed. You're done, viola! 74

MELANIE SCHNEIDER, @SCHNEIDMELANIE

GYM FREE

GUNS

AND

BUNS

Let’s be real: you want to work out, you want to look good, but you probably don’t want to spend tons of time or money to accomplish that. I get it. But looking and feeling your best doesn’t have to become another weight on your shoulders (pun unintended). While sculpting both your lower body and your upper body is critical to a fit look and feel, unfortunately most upper body exercises seem to involve some sort of equipment, whether it is dumbbells, a medicine ball, or resistance bands. But to keep on keepin’ it real, I will supply you with the simplest, and most effective ways to tone both your upper and lower body without forking out too much cash money on silly dustcollecting equipment or a hefty, wallet-denting gym membership. All you will need is your bodyweight, and a large towel -- of which I sincerely hope you have both. Before we get started, lets take a look at the reasons why it’s necessary to engage your whole body in exercise, as opposed to solely sculpting that bootie

doing squats all day long. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some squats, but lets not forget about the rest of your body. First off, for the ladies reading this, we are much more vulnerable to degenerative joint diseases, such as osteoporosis and arthritis. The only way to strengthen your bones is to use them – this involves applying some stress to your joints, whether through resistance (a bodyweight exercise, for example) or impact (like jumping or running). Second, while it is tempting to only want to work on perfecting our buns and thighs in those everso-trendy booty barre classes, we must look at our bodies as a whole unit -- and treat it as one. Your body is a “kinetic chain,” one connected unit through which there is a powerful chain reaction. In fact, your body is so interconnected that your opposite elbow correlates directly with your opposite knee, your opposite hip with your opposite shoulder, and your opposite ankle with your opposite wrist, etc. So if you are only to ever engage your quad, glute and hamstring muscles, muscles which are directly connected to other muscles up “the chain,” then it is inevitable that there will be a dysfunction, or problem, somewhere else along this chain. Often times this manifests itself in back pain, tight neck, shoulder issues, wrist problems (like carpal tunnel), tennis elbow, and more. Moral of the story: if we take care of our entire body as one entire unit, then we can avoid issues manifesting themselves later. The exercises I’ve provided all attempt to provide a more integrated movement, engaging lots of different muscles at one time (well, except for the solely vain bicep curls - c’mon, a girl’s gotta sculpt the guns too!). This is twofold in its purpose, but most importantly it creates a more functional workout, as in daily life (and sports) it is rare that we only use one muscle at a time. Rather, we are bending over using our legs as we simultaneously engage 76

our back muscles to pick something up off of the ground. This is the most relevant way to challenge our bodies in a manner that mimics the actions we actually need to perform well in our life, throughout our entire life. I, for one, fear being a crippled old woman, so bring on the functional full-body exercises! Next, this is the most time-efficient way to work out: when you engage more muscle groups at one time, the more energy you are expending at once, which means the more calories you are burning per unit of time. Finally, why wouldn’t you want to look completely toned up top? Who doesn’t want Jennifer Aniston or Michelle Obama arms? Having a pair of sexy arms and shoulders can do wonders! Guys (and girls!) might even be intimidated by your new guns. They might even pull my favorite sleazy pick-up line on you -- “hey, do you work out?” I wonder if anyone’s use of that line has ever culminated in a successful date or relationship... anyway, lets get to sculpting your entire body -- without a gym, without equipment, and without wasting time so you can look and feel your best, all over, without even leaving the comfort of your own home.

GET YO GUNS OUT Directions:

Circuit-style: Complete the upper body exercises in a circuit, with as little rest as possible between each exercise. Sets: 3 sets Reps: 20 reps (even if you have to pause in order to finish all 20!) Dips: Find a sturdy bench, chair, step, etc. With your back to the surface, your feet on the floor and knees bent, place your hands on top of the surface with your fingers towards your back. Bend your elbows, keeping shoulders pulled back and maintaining a long, tall spine for good posture. Push into the surface, bending and extending your elbows to straighten and bend your arms. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing it right, you will feel a nice burn in the back of your arms!

Tricep Push-Ups: Find a sturdy bench, chair, step, etc. Come into normal push up position, holding your hips up, and your shoulders directly over your hands. Now tuck your elbows into the sides of your body as close as you can. With your elbows stuck to the sides of your body, let your body weight and hips fall as you let your elbows bend, bringing your chest towards the bench/ step/etc., keeping your elbows tucked in to your body. Push up to straighten out elbows.

Drop Down Push-Ups: Start in a plank position, with your body parallel to the ground, hands directly under your shoulders, forearms resting on the ground, hips lifted, and body straight. Push up with one hand to straighten out that arm, and then push up the other, so you are in a straight-arm plank position. From there, drop down to your forearms, one arm at a time. Repeat, but alternate which hand you push up from each time. Try this one for a minute, instead of going for reps. Towel Rows: Grab a full-size towel and wrap it around a pole, railing, tree, or anything that the towel will not slip around on too much. Grab each end of the towel with one hand, walk your feet in towards your pole/railing/etc. so your body is at a pretty steep angle to the ground, leaning back. Holding on firmly, drive your elbows behind you, squeezing your shoulder blades together to complete a rowing motion.

Grocery Curls: Find a sturdy bag (preferably a reuseable one that wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t break! We all know we have a lulu lemon or urban outfitters bag or two littering our closet floor!). Fill it with as much heavy stuff as you can find - books are great for this! Or even canned food! Hold the bag by the straps in one hand, forearm parallel to the ground, and bend your elbow to curl the bag up towards your upper arm. Then lower the bag, slowly and with control, all the way down so your arm is fully straightened.

BOOTIESfUL BUNS Directions:

Circuit-style :: Complete the lower body exercises in a circuit, with as little rest as possible between each exercise. Sets :: 3 sets Reps:: 20 reps on each side (even if you have to pause in order to finish all 20!) Balanced Karate Kick: Stand on one leg, letting the other leg merely hang beside you off the ground, and with the stationary leg, perform a single leg squat by bending at the knees and hinging at the hips, aiming to get your thigh parallel to the ground. Stand up out of the single leg squat and at the same time, swing your hanging leg forward into a strong kick by bending the knee and straightening the leg. Repeat all 20 reps on the same leg, then switch legs.

Forward & Back Lunge: Standing with both feet shoulder width apart, take one foot forward and step into a forward lunge, so that both knees end up with 90 degree angles. Quickly push off that forward lunging leg and swing it back into a back lunge, so now the opposite foot is in the forward lunge position. Repeat all 20 reps on the same leg, then switch legs, 79

Curtsy “Your Majesty” Lunge: Standing with both feet shoulder-width apart, take one foot behind your other leg, into a back lunge, keeping the back leg’s knee close into the front foot’s heel, throwing your hip out to the side, as if to curtsy. The thigh of the back lunging leg should end up perpendicular to the ground. Quickly push off of that back foot, standing only for a moment with both legs in starting position, as you start to bring the other leg into a back curtsy lunge on the other side. Alternate between these back curtsy lunges on each side, swiftly moving from one to the next. Complete a total of 20 on each leg, for a grand total of 40 reps.

Jumping Squats: Stand with both feet slightly wider than shoulder-width, bend the knees and hinge the hips as you come down into a squat, and push off with your feet to jump into the air, throwing your arms back behind you, back tall as you jump in the air. Land as lightly as possible, absorbing your force, by rolling onto your toes, then ball of foot, and then heel, finishing in your original squat position. It should become one fluid motion of landing in a squat, and immediately jumping up again from the squat position (jump from the low squat position. Do not jump after you have already stood up). Repeat in a row as quick as you can.

The Running (Wo)Man: Stand with both feet shoulder width apart, and take one leg back, stepping into a back lunge, and quickly pushing off with that back lunging foot in order to hop up on the original front lunging leg. Repeat on this same side, creating one fluid motion of stepping into a back lunge and immediately pushing off and hopping up on the original forward leg. It should look like you are running, swinging your arms as you go. Repeat in a row as quick as you can. I am challenging you to challenge your entire body, and as winter approaches, you can do so without ever having to leave the warm, cozy comfort of your own home to brave those cold, slushy, snowy streets (Cali girls - we really have no excuse). I am challenging you to use all those muscles, so you can not only be toned up top, but be toned down below, too!

Why work so hard to tone that booty and leave your arms hanging (another pun! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m on a roll!)? Why be so concerned about looking good in your spaghetti strap top but not be able to squeeze into your favorite skinny jeans? You can have it all, without paying for it all. Who needs a gym for some fierce guns and buns? Not you.

BY Ines Alex Trice @tricealex7

When my Asian birth mother who I am meeting for the first time in twenty years tells me I am her souvenir from Hong Kong, she cups my chin in her hands. She stares straight into my eyes and says I remind her of the best memories she had there. There must be something reminiscent in my face because she says I have my father’s nose, chin, even the shape of his face, and when she looks at me, it seems as if she concentrates only on these parts of me. When she touches me, I wonder whose skin she is feeling, mine or my father’s. I try to imagine what is coming to mind for her. She tells me later that she met my father at a disco one night, that she followed him home drunkenly and clumsily in her five-inch heels and made love to him. I think perhaps this is the memory brought to the surface by my souvenir body and it unsettles me because what it feels like she is saying is that she doesn’t really see me. She looks beyond me, as if I am a transparent sheet of glass, or a bridge she could cross to something more pleasant.

lived through, whatever bliss we felt, was real. Wikipedia describes souvenirs as: “an object a person acquired for the memories the owner associates with it. The object itself has no real significance other than the psychological connection the possessor has with the object as a symbol of past experience. Without the owner’s input, the object’s meaning is invisible and cannot be articulated.” I think of all the words my birth mother could have used to describe me and wonder why she chose souvenir, a word that reduces me to a thing, an inanimate object that is supposed to stand in the place of something more pleasurable. I realize I don’t know how to respond her comment, if there is a response to be had at all. I am too confused to make sense of it. On one hand, there is something interesting about imagining myself as a relic of love and passion. I could be a Romantic memory, the product of bodies finding each other in the dark, inebriated candor expressed in motion. On the other hand, I don’t like feeling as though I were a museum displaying exhibits my mother wants to see.

Sometimes I feel like I should search myself in a mirror for a tacky sticker that says ‘Made in Hong Kong.’ Or maybe I should think about the representative nature of souvenirs and about what real meaning my mother has ascribed to me. I have my guesses but I don’t know for sure and am too afraid to ask. What I really want to do, but don’t, is take both of my mother’s small hands in mine and tell her why it bothers me that she calls me a souvenir. I wish I have learned that the word souvenir may have I could say to her: I don’t like that you equate derived from old French, from se, to remember, me to something that can be bought for a few and from Latin, from subvenire, which means dollars. I have value. to come up, to come to mind. Of course it was the Romantic linguists who made a word A month or so after we met, my birth mother for this, who recognized the need we have to showed me a picture of my father. It showed hold on to the things we love long after they a man not much older than I am now, with a leave us. We want things we can see, smell, boyishly handsome smile and drunken-glazed touch, to reassure ourselves that whatever we 83

eyes. To the very edge of the photograph, I could just make out what must have been the top of another woman’s head. My mother explained to me that she had stolen the picture from my father’s house, ripped out the half showing the other woman’s face and kept what remained so she could always remember what he looked like then. It seemed absurd to me that she would do such a thing, be compelled to such a desperate act, but now it makes sense to me. Memories distort and perish over time but a tangible artifact can keep things alive not as they were but as we wish to remember them. Until I was born, the image of my father was the only part of him that my mother could hold onto. After a long examination, I handed the photo back to my mother but she told me I could keep it. I wondered at first how she could bear to part from it after she had kept it for so long. The answer came to mind more easily than expected; I realized she could do it because she had re-discovered something better. She had me in her life again, the girl who was genetically half of him. When compared to a photograph, I can see how I am a better souvenir. I am a moving image that can smile at her, laugh with her, or hug her.

work, still in his dress clothes, a six-foot male in a shop filled with six-year-old girls. He told me how he had picked out the sheep skin, had watched the old lady at the store stuff it. Before he sent me the sheep in a care package, he even sprayed it with his cologne, adding a personal touch. Almost a year has passed since then and the sheep does not smell like him anymore, but when I hold it, I remember him. I remember summer, the humid July that feels so long ago now. I remember the feeling of his soft mouth and how I used to run my fingers through his short brown hair. I like my memories of him better this way, when I don’t have to think about the time that was running out for us. When I don’t have to remind myself how we had already begun to feel a separation, differences in our aspirations that could not be ignored. I find comfort in having a stuffed sheep to recall a relationship I am not ready release entirely. I like that the sheep has a simple shape, texture, and form and unchanging features. It cannot talk back to me or rebel against the purpose for which I have used it. It just sits there, next to my pillow, where it stays until I need to touch it again, to bring back memories I am afraid to lose.

I do not wish to go into the details here but the woman you call your biological mother is someone I had hoped to never hear from again…

There are also times when the sheep makes me think of my mother. In lieu of having my own child, it is the closest thing I have to understanding how she must feel about me as her souvenir. I am sure she appreciates my sheep-like qualities, the timid and nonconfrontational aspects of my nature that keep me from opposing her definition of me.

I have a stuffed sheep that I keep on my bed. I received it as a gift from my ex-boyfriend who had made it in one of those stores where you can create your own stuffed animals. Over the phone, he said he had gone there after

I would wager that my biological father, whom I have never met, holds to the idea that souvenirs are not things worth having. Through some online searching, I once found him on Facebook and from there, sent him a message:

Dear Mr. Lawley, Sorry if this message comes as a shock to you. I’m going to get right to the point because I don’t see the point in beating around the bush. I am writing to you because I think you might be my father…Hope you’ll write back soon.

Souvenirs are things not worth having... Weeks later, I got a message back. He had written: I do not wish to go into the details here but the woman you call your biological mother is someone I had hoped to never hear from again…I strongly objected to her carrying through the pregnancy of the child she claimed to be mine and refused to acknowledge being the father when that child was born… Anyway, you have opened a very painful door... Personally I believe we would all now be much better off by quickly closing this door again and carrying on with our own lives. I will however maintain email contact with you for a while should you think that you would like this. It was weeks before I had the courage to write to my father again. I was so shaken by his words, so confused by his rejection that for a long time, all I did was scrutinize the contents of his email. I tried to make sense of what he was saying, understand why he had so little desire to know me. Sometimes I think that maybe if my father had waited until I was born, if he had been in the delivery room and seen my tiny chest breathing and held it to his own, he would have thought about souvenirs and decided this one time, he would make an exception and keep me. But this seems doubtful. Over a few more

correspondences, I learn that at eighteen, my father moved from South Africa to Hong Kong, where he became a police officer and a boxing coach. Now he lives in Shanghai. He has never married, has never raised children, has probably never wanted to look back, to recall personal history, to line his shelves with souvenirs. I respect that about him, I think perhaps his ability to let go of memories makes him stronger than me. I wish I knew how to be that carefree and independent, as uninhibited by the effects of another person’s life colliding with mine. Surprisingly, I find I am more like my mother. I too, struggle to resolve feelings for a muchmissed ex. In giving me up for adoption, I think my mother hoped to free herself from some of those feelings, as I have tried to do in times when I considered throwing the sheep in a rubbish bin or donating it to a secondhand store. Now that I am back in my mother’s life, however, she refuses to give me up again. She says that being with me makes her feel young again. I have come to realize that like me, my mother has insecurities. She keeps me as her souvenir because I am the evidence that my father’s attraction to her was real. I can remind her that she was covetable, a woman to be desired. Half of me understands that need and wants to help her remember. Sometimes I worry that I may not look and sound enough like my father to make her happy. The other half of me wants her to forget, because I shudder at the burden she has placed on me. I am afraid that in being a souvenir, I shall become so fully a substitute of my father that my own self will be lost.

Swatting M Being In T

Lindsey Sampson @

MayFLIES & The Pocket

@lindseygsampson Swatting Mayflies and Being In The Pocket. Swatting mayflies and picking brambles from my skin in front of the house that made you. This is the summer I know. Today I learned about jazz music and about love. Do you know what being “in the pocket” means? You don’t ask questions like these when we lie in bed, but you did last night. Jazz is alive. You say, your mouth just a few inches from the pillow, that some musicians feel each other so profoundly, so intrinsically, that they are in perfectly and deeply in sync. My mind constructs scenes like a child -musicians jumping off of each other’s shoulders and swimming around each other like a school of fish Individual, but greater than themselves. I think we’re in the pocket, you say. I think we are, too. I walked with you across the Hudson River and I can still smell your lotion in the indent between my nose and my lips, that little space where sweat pools on days like today walking with you across the Hudson River. 87

I'm Sorry I’m Sorry No truly I am I’m sorry for so many things, to so many people, through so many times But most of all, I’m just sorry I believed all the lies I mean I guess it should come as no surprise that the right to my body is nothing more than a social disguise based on the notion that a man has a right to anything in his eyes From my thighs to my hair And no not my dreads but the ones “down there” as long as my skirt was short enough to “invite” him to stare So I’m Sorry I apologize for this disguise that I wear or put on but I’m so glad you knew it was meant to turn you on because the clothes that I wear have no significance to me as a human being Rather they’re meant for you to define me by what you’re seeing Believing that my hemline determines my inner being, I invite you to look down upon me while I suffocate beneath this glass ceiling So Forgive me Forgive me please for not getting the memo That if I drink a little bit too much I go from being a woman to a hoe For forgetting that if I sip drinks than liquor shouldn’t be the only thing that I expect down my throat because If I’m not really asking for it then … he really won’t Now I’m not sure if my apology is coming off entirely too sincerely So let me take a minute to break it down for y’all just a little bit 88

more clearly See this is just a symptom of a social disease Seen from football rosters in Ohio to buses in New Delhi With outbreaks of slut shaming and victim blaming mentalities With no cure in sight under our current system of patriarchy We’ve got invisible wars leaving visible scars on members of our nation’s military And don’t get me started on what the hell is going on politically You see I’d write my local politician but he’s probably taken the lead on defining rape in terms of words such as legitimacy

Number 1: Remember rape is not about sex It’s about power and privilege And if you don’t believe me, take a detour into our nation’s prison system

In fact The following is a list of exact quotations taken from politicians in the United States of America

And finally Number 4: If a person is raped, look for the rapist, not the reason That one Shouldn’t have to rhyme

“Rape victims should make the most of a bad situation.” Rick Santorum, former Presidential hopeful “Some girls rape easy.” Roger Rivard, former Wisconsin Congressman

Number 2: Don’t teach women self defense, modest dress or other ways to avoid being raped initially Instead, lets foster a culture that teaches men not to rape indiscriminately Number 3: If the case makes it to court, I’ve got advice for those on the bench Perceptions of character do not count as evidence

FreeQuency (Mwende Katwiwa) @FreeQthaMighty | FB: facbook.com/frequencyakafreeqthamighty

“Rape is like bad weather. If it’s inevitable you should relax and enjoy it.” Clayton Williams, former contender for Texas Governor You see This disease has reached the top of our nations leadership to the point of being endemic But even without a medical degree I’ve got a four-step regiment that’s sure to end it

Waiting ON

Martha BY TIFFANY OLSON

Leave it to Mandy Kellog Rye to end up in an Oscar de la Renta gown amongst a herd of alpacas. With a booming online business, and a popular blog, the woman behind Waiting on Martha is unstoppable and downright intriguing. She’s captivated our attention with her online personality and impeccable taste. Everyone (who’s anyone) has taken note, and we’re thrilled to have Waiting on Martha as our cover girl for this issue.

photography: Jamie Hopper Makeup & Hair: Brielle Brenner Styled By: Mandy Kellogg-Rye & Paris Rouzati courtesy of Neiman MarcusNeiman Marcus) 90

First things first, her name is Mandy Kellogg Rye, not Martha. “People still call me Martha all the time, which is fine.” The name Waiting on Martha is a nod to THE Martha, as in Martha Stewart of course. “I probably should have put more thought into it. I was drinking wine and watching one of my favorite movies which is Waiting for Guffman – its about these kids in the middle of nowhere who want to be huge broadway stars, and there is this producer coming called ‘Guffman,’ and he’s supposed to change their lives - but he never shows.” I haven’t seen said movie but my mind immediately turns to the fact that we are probably all waiting on that one person at some time or another to make our dreams come true. Eventually you figure out that you need to make it happen yourself. “I love to cook, I love all of those things. I thought, ‘that’s what I’ll call it.‘ I never dreamed that it would turn into a store or anything like that. When I thought about changing it, people actually really liked it. Someone said to me, ‘Well, WOM stands for Word of Mouth.” So wine and a movie, and Waiting on Martha was born! “But yes, people always assume I have a child named Martha or my name is Martha.” Let’s back up a bit. Mandy grew up in Michigan, “in the middle of the mitten,” in Midland. “I knew from about age 15 that I wanted to get out. I just had really big dreams. I just knew Midland really couldn’t contain it, though Midland was amazing, and looking back it was a great place to be raised - I kind of wish I had appreciated it more.” The pieces start to come together as Mandy mentions that her mother always loved clothes – “she liked to be fancy. She’s always loved fashion.” And her father “can look at something and build it and do it and make it. Last year he made this chandelier my mom wanted – I think I get a lot of my how to create beautiful things in homes and interiors from him.” Mandy’s parents built houses as well, so she always got to pick out her paint, and the whole bedroom. “They

always let me be creative. I’m only what I am because of them. They told me if I wanted to be president I could. They still are to this day, the most supportive people on the planet.” Mandy didn’t become president, but she did make a pit stop in Law School. “Unfortunately I chose a major in college that I had no desire to do. Most of my friends were fashionmerchandising majors, which is what I should have done. Instead I was like ‘I want to be a lawyer.’” Mandy’s completed undergrad at Bradley with a degree in Political Science and Speech Communication. After undergrad she headed to law school in Chicago. “I had this vision of being a high powered attorney, whether I liked it or not. “ “I chased that dream of what I thought I should love instead of following my gut. I thought, what was I going to do in fashion? How would I make money? I’m not going to be a designer.” After two years of Law School, Mandy knew that law was not for her. She naturally fell into a position in sales and worked in recruiting. She left right before the market turned, for a job in healthcare which she still has now. “Most people don’t know that I have a job in healthcare. It kind of blows people’s mind. I think a lot of people think I am this trust fund person that has all of these things, when truthfully I juggle four jobs right now.” She’s been with the healthcare company for five years, but soon it will come to an end so she can focus on “Martha” full time. Side note: Mandy wakes up at 7am and goes to sleep at 2 am. She met her husband, Anthony, at a Rolling Stones concert in Chicago. They dated for four years and have been married for three. Five weeks before their wedding, Anthony’s dad passed away, and around the same time Mandy’s father got diagnosed with cancer. They decided right away to move to Atlanta after they got married to be closer to family. “We had been thinking about moving, but this really solidified it.”

Leather Jeans: Joie Jacket: Red Valentino Shoes: Zara Necklace: J.Crew Bag: 94 Zac by Zac Posen

Gown: Oscar de la Renta Shoes: Fendi Hair Pom: ban.do [c/o WaitingOnMartha]

100

I chased the dream of what I thought I should love... instead of following my gut

Blouse: Alice & Olivia Skirt: Alice & Olivia Brooch: Chanel Bag: Chanel Shoes: Saint Laurent 101

102

103

As things would turn out, moving to Atlanta was really the turning point for Martha. ‘It would have been hard to start in Chicago. It was the rush of the new town and starting over. Sometimes you get stuck in these circles and how people know you. I just think there would have been something that held me back. Here [in Atlanta] it was fresh. I told Anthony, ‘I’m going to start a store.’ He said, ‘What does that mean?’ I said ‘I’m going to start an ecommerce store.’ He said, ‘Ok, don’t spend too much money.’ ” Waiting on Martha was born in July of 2012, but officially rebranded and relaunched in January of 2013. The theme that runs through all of Waiting on Martha is “creating a beautiful everyday. I think life should be lived well. I’m not saying you should wear a $10,000 Oscar de la Renta gown every day, but your home is a reflection of you. I just love making things beautiful – I love beautiful things. I think shoes and bag and clothes are art. I think everything in our home is art. I think that you should take risks and have fun. I have a leopard stair runner and my powder room is orange and cheetahs. I think your home should be a complete expression of who you are.” “I think that people see beautiful pictures and beautiful things but don’t know how to pull it off. I like to help people create moments. Whether that be through clothing or how your home is decorated or through a fantastic dinner party. I think life is lived in the details. People get overwhelmed but it’s actually a lot easier than you think. I do all my own flower arrangements for shoots and everything. I want people to know that they can go and do these things. And I’m obsessed with it.”

104

“I could have never done Martha in my 20’s because I was just way too concerned with going out and having fun. It would have failed. It would have been a huge failure. Everything has brought me to this point.” What’s next for Waiting on Martha? Currently, her inventory still lives in her house and garage (they park in the driveway)., so expanding the WOM space is soon on the horizon. Also, she says next year she hopes to make lookbooks for the items in the store. With so much to come, this will not be the last we hear of Mandy or Martha.

Nail color: Wicked (Essie) or Lincoln Park Aft Lip: YSL #49

Must have products: Bare Minerals Foundatio Hair: Pureology Hair Spray Drink: Mulled Cider with bourbon Entertaining dish: Chicken Pot Pie

When life gives you lemons…… “make a co

Visit http://waitingonmartha.com/ Visit the Waiting On Martha Shop for home entertaining supplies and more: http://www

ter Dark (OPI)

on and Bronzer

ocktail.â&#x20AC;?

decor, holiday wares, w.shopwaitingonmartha.com/

105

106

BY MICHELLE VOGEL @Mishvo

107

I decided to move to Thailand to teach English the summer after I graduated from college. Not because I necessarily wanted to, but because I didn’t know what else to do. I signed up online for a Bangkok-based, three-week TEFL certification course through a recruiter who promised to place me in a teaching position afterwards; then I flew to Thailand on a one-way ticket with no friends, very few belongings, and no idea where I would live or what my job would be like.-Nervous yet?

a vacant lot, some crumbling, mouldy apartments, and my favorite som tam lady’s food stand. I could often hear the clanking of her pestle as it smashed chilis and shredded, green papaya into the rock wall interior of the mortar. Sometimes I ordered som tam from her on my way home from school. I would bring the salad upstairs and eat it impatiently while dipping chunks of sticky rice into the spicy-sweet dressing with my fingers.

My blue apartment, of which I was the sole resident, served as both an escape and a prison for me. When the whimpering of I moved into an apartment in a part of mangy soi dogs and roaring of motorcycles Bangkok called Pinklao - pink for both the effulgent sunsets I could see from my window became too much; when I absolutely couldn’t in the evenings and for Bangkok’s ubiquitous stand the heat and needed to stop sweating fuchsia taxis swerving through the traffic-laden for a second; when I was frustrated by not streets. My apartment was a distracting shade being able to communicate with people in English; I sat on my flat, expansive platform of of blue – the walls, the ceiling, the furniture a bed, turned on the air conditioning full-blast – everything was aqua! I had an attached, and felt grateful to be alone. small, fourth-floor balcony overlooking 108

But then sometimes being alone meant being lonely. I felt trapped in my blue room. I felt trapped in Bangkok, where I initially struggled to make friends, and I felt trapped in my job, where I struggled to keep my students’ attention. I was assigned to teach fifth-grade. On my first day, I was given a workbook and a class schedule and sent onto the battlefield unarmed. Immediately, I found the Thai educational system to be an infuriating mess. It was not possible for my students to fail their assignments or courses. They were shuffled through the system whether they completed their work or not. It was, in part, about “saving-face”: the cultural expectation that one should avoid threatening another’s honor or dignity at all costs. By not allowing individual students to fail, the system politely avoids any embarrassment or shame on the students’ (and their parents’) behalf. There also just simply isn’t as much value placed on hard work in Thai culture as there is in American culture (They do call it the “American” Dream, don’t they?). Other qualities, like the appearance of professionalism or formality, take priority instead. As a result, the Thai education system approaches English language education as a big, beautiful show: there are lots of fireworks lots of smiling, Western faces framed by black and white official dress looking, well, official but there’s no learning happening. Students are

"Prathethai ruam luatna chatchua thai” 109

â&#x20AC;&#x153;let everything happen to you, beauty and terror, just keeping goingno feeling is finalâ&#x20AC;?

110

111

unmotivated because there are neither rewards nor punishments for working hard. “GOOD MOR-NING TEE-CHA,” my students rose at the start of every class period by command of their respective class leaders to greet me robotically with hands clasped in prayer (a “wai”) at their chests. “Good morning, class.” I returned the wai and told them they could be seated. And then madness erupted. I had no power in the classroom - no rewards to offer, no punishments to dole out - and they knew it. They scooted around the classroom in socks (their shoes were stacked neatly in cubbies in the hallway) to talk to their friends. I finally found some sort of solace from the frustration that was my average workday when I stopped expecting that I would actually teach them English and just tried to have some fun. I asked one of my fifth-graders to bring in her ukulele and I played their favorite English song (“The Show” by Lenka) for them. On a separate occasion, one of my most outspoken students, Aut, transliterated the Thai National Anthem into English letters and taught it to me sound-by-phonetic-sound. I brought in my camera and recorded a video of myself singing it in the classroom that I later posted to YouTube so we could all relive the fun endlessly: “Prathethai ruam luatna chatchua thai… “ My students and I exchanged dance moves. I showed them how to Walk It Out and they showed me how to bend back my fingers in traditional Thai khon dancing. One time I “assigned” them a comic book project: I told them to draw comic books with English captions about ghosts (one of their favorite topics). Some of them did the assignment, and it was pretty entertaining for me to look over the results, even though we all knew they 112

wouldn’t be receiving any credit for them. My first school vacation was overwhelmingly eye-opening. In October, after teaching for about two months, I spent my ten-day vacation traveling through the south of Thailand by myself. How beautiful the world was! My spirits climbed, along with my body, up 1,237 steep steps to a golden Buddha at the summit of the Tiger Temple in Krabi. The limestone cliffs, the gentle sea, the tallest stalks of bamboo I had ever seen! I sipped coconutbanana smoothies on the beach in Koh Phangan to sooth my hangover from the Half Moon Party, a glowing neon pulsing boozy dance party in the jungle. I hiked through the mud with my new Australian friends to reach a waterfall in the heart of the rainforests of Khao Sok National Park. I marveled in Railay, as a troop of rhesus monkeys crossed the footpath ahead of me. Most importantly, I met other travelers and the loneliness I had known from my blue room in Bangkok began to wane. Upon my return, I was transferred from fifthgrade to preschool for the final five months of my contract. My 300 three-and-four-year old students were quite literally the cutest human beings I had ever seen. We danced and sang. I made them touch their ears, then their noses, then their ears, then their noses, ears! Nose! Ears! Nose! Ears! and they would lose themselves in laughter. I couldn’t not smile when I was with them. I fell in love with the way my students sang “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”- so much so that I would lead them through four or five rounds of it in a single class period - and they fell in love with the word, “octopus.” “‘O’” is for ‘octopus,’” I wiggle-danced with my arms invariably eliciting a fit of giggles in the classroom. They

drew cartoony, grinning, doe-eyed octopi all over their worksheets, even when I asked them to draw normal things like bananas or dogs or trees. I was anticipating the end for about three months, as evidenced by the calendar on my desk on which I crossed out every single day for upwards of ninety days until the end of my teaching contract. And when that end finally came, I tossed my tired black work skirt into the bin and rejoiced internally at my freedom. I had a backpack, four months, and eight countries ahead of me. On my last day in Bangkok, I stood in front of my mirror in my blue room. I was wearing a strapless black, cotton romper. My hair was clipped up atop my head, and my wrists were posts for some eight or so bangles I had collected over the course of the previous months. At the twilight of my teaching career and dawn of my backpacking career, I took out my camera and pointed it at my mirror. In that image I captured me, my blue room, and the words I had yearningly inscribed on the surface of the mirror with my erasable whiteboard marker eight months prior: “Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror. Just keep going – No feeling is final.” The next four months would find me riding through the ruins of Angkor Wat in Cambodia in the back of a tuk tuk as the sun rose; shielding my eyes from dust while watching human cremations by the Ganges River in Varanasi, India; and standing on a footbridge over a gaping ravine staring at the towers of a 19th century castle in Bavaria, Germany. I kept going indeed. 113

BY Emilia Morano Williams @emilialiveslife

114

When I tell people that I love to travel alone, I’m usually met with one of two reactions.: They will either contort their face with a mixture of shock and horror as they exclaim how dangerous and strange it is to travel on one’s own or furrow their brow in a moment of confusion. Why didn’t you just ask someone to go with you? Wouldn’t it be more fun to adventure with someone? Like going to weddings solo and dining as a party of one, many people think of travel as a group activity; however, doing so drastically limits your enjoyment of the world and your relationship with yourself.

yourself to enjoy your new environment. This confidence in yourself and your abilities sticks around as you fall back into your normal routine.

While traveling with a buddy can be pleasurable, smartly meeting people and striking up random conversations gives you an invaluable sense of connectedness with whatever city you happen to be in. Striking up conversations with people in adjacent seats leads you to amazing stories. I once met a pilot from Zimbabwe on an airport shuttle. We chatted about where we were going, how we were getting there, and random details of our respective The first time I traveled alone was a journeys. This quick exchange gave me day trip to London during my first year of university. I was barely away, barely a completely new outlook on on my own, but I was worried. Would my journey. I have enough to do during the day? Traveling alone means more time to Would I get lonely, bored? Would focus on yourself, indulge your interests people look at me strangely? No, and free yourself from how others want it turned out. I had a blast, got to to spend their time. Whether you’re do everything I wanted and returned eager to visit every museum, try a bunch tired but rejuvenated. After that, I was of cafes or spend your time snapping hooked on traveling alone. photographs, traveling solo means you must focus on what you want to do, Adventures feel livelier when traveling with no reservations. I’ve run around alone. You’re free to look around cities solely for drinking good coffee, and take things at your own pace. passing by the monuments at which The glow of accomplishment from others would have needed to stop and navigating a new city is brighter when snap a photo. Instead of eating every relying solely on yourself. Walking with a native strut is easier when you’re meal out, I’ve made feasts in hotel rooms purely to indulge myself. The flying solo. You may find people solo journey allows you to celebrate stopping to ask you, the similarly your quirks and get to know confused traveler, for directions. Even yourself better. if you don’t feel confident, you’ll soon find that you need to find faith in

115

The Modern Renaissance Man BY Zoë Björnson @KZOEB

Niraj Mehdiratta is what I’d like to call a “modern Renaissance man.” From his tastebuds to his sense of style to his music taste, Niraj does it all -- and he does it well. Niraj thrives on daily inspiration, whether it’s found in a small coffee shop or through his own photography. From first look, we were captivated by the crispness in Niraj’s photos on his Tumblr and Instagram and knew we had to know more about this guy. Lucky for you, Sweet Lemon got to spend a few moments with him discussing everything from Apothecary Café and Wine Bar, the restaurant he started after some time on Wall Street, to his favorite pair of shoes.

116

117

118

119

Tell us a little bit about yourself. I was born in raised in Houston, I went to school here in Austin, at University of Texas and spent a year of that living abroad and studying in Singapore and traveling Asia and Australia. I definitely went through some greater wanderlust that I’ve had for now my whole life. I graduated and then I went to work in investment banking in Houston and did that for a few years then worked for a small private equity firm and that kept me in and out of New York. That was kind of a funny fork in the road for me, in terms of wanting to stay in finance and making that my life, or jumping ship and going my own way. So in 2007, I left the corporate world, moved back down to Austin, and opened a small wine bar. I have never served a table in my life, so it was a very risky move, but it was something I really wanted to do at the time. I traveled quite a bit after college, and I realized the things that spoke to me the most were spacing out and people watching, sitting in a cafe and having a glass of wine or a coffee, so I wanted to recreate that [in Austin]. I think it’s also funny that we have these really rigid concepts of Americans. So you have a coffee shop, like Starbucks, and that’s where you get your coffee. Or you have a wine bar that might be a little snooty and pretentious. Well, the rest of the world marries these two together very well as a cafe, so that was kind of my inspiration for [Apothecary]. apothecaryaustin.com/. Are you the sole owner of Apothecary? At Apothecary, I’m the sole owner. But I have a friend who’s basically been by my side the entire time and he still works there. Most of our staff has been there for at least 3 years and I have a buddy now who’s my operating partner and helps me on the day to day. And in October, we hit a year for the music venue I started with a group of friends, Holy Mountain (http:// holymountainaustin.com/). We took over this old music venue in downtown Austin, renovated it

and turned it into a craft cocktail bar and a music venue. Did you always know you wanted to run your own business? I think it’s a perfect storm of all the things that make up your childhood. I’m sure we all get called ADD because of our generation, but for me, I’m a very independent person and I think I do my best when I’m on my own. When I’m forced to do something or I’m on someone else’s timeline, it is stressful for me. The ability to have things on my own shoulders, for better or worse, is nicer for me. So that was definitely a dream, just to be on my own, and have my own time to do things. I’m definitely a dreamer, so I wanted to create things and I’m sure we all have that same entrepreneurial spirit. I’ve always wanted to strike out on my own. What is the hardest part of being your own boss? I started out in investment banking, which is such a challenging industry; the hours, the stress. Then moved into the restaurant world, which is literally the toughest small business to own and has the least chance of survival and success. I think there are general day to day stresses like managing a staff, keeping your customers happy and your product up to par. However, I think the hurdle is that once you’ve made it through the hoop and you have a sustainable business, the hardest part is staying true to what you want to do. Let’s say you own a business in a city, at some point, you have everyone around you wondering what you’re going to do next, so I think one of the most challenging things is external pressures of people’s expectations and really finding a way to stay true to what you want to do at what time and maintaining some sort of balance in your life that is your formula for happiness. I think one of the biggest challenges is really that people want to push you in certain directions and want you to follow a certain timeline they’ve created for you life, but you really have to stay on course in terms of what makes you happy.

121

122

123

124

Do you have any advice for people that do want to start their own business? It’s funny, when it comes out of your mouth it all sounds so cliche, but I think we’re all so resilient. You’re going to run into problems when you start your own business, and I think that is pretty expected. Some things might go wrong, there’s a chance that everything goes wrong, but I think we have the ability to rebound and we’re really headsmart and we don’t give ourselves enough credit for that. I also think we have great people around us when we open ourselves up to them, so I think that you just have to trust. I think the toughest things about starting a small business is that everyone wants you to assess these risks, and they steer you and deter you from doing things. And I think the reality is that whatever you do when you start a new project, stuff is gonna go wrong and you have to be open to that and willing to accept it, but you’ll get through it. There’s no fairytale business. What’s a day in the life for you like? I guess what I love about my day to day is that it varies. There’s days for example, like tomorrow, where I’m going to meet with our chefs and my operating partner to plan out our fall menu. My day to day can go anywhere from planning out a menu at the restaurant to wine tasting to see what we’re going to offer that week or that month, to meeting my friends and manager at Holy Mountain to see who we’ve booked to play shows that month, and then coming back to see what travel I have going on or hopefully what photography projects I might have landed that allow me to travel. So my day to days are a funny balance of business and pursuing passions, but also finding time to decompress with friends. Doesn’t sound too bad to us! So we’ve seen your Instagram and Tumblr and you take some pretty awesome shots - when did you first start to get into photography? I actually just bought my first SLR - it’ll be two years in February. I think I got into photography through a few friends that I’ve gotten really close with in the last few years. And it was definitely seeing them work and enjoy doing it that got me into it. I think being able to share a perspective on something was really appealing to me. I think this is kind of like some weird thing that’s dominated most of my life now, I’m forever facing a moment. There’s some really romantic gesture in my head about that, which is similar to creating a restaurant or a wine bar; I have people coming in on a date or I have groups of women or friends and spend these really meaningful moments in their life. I think that’s beautiful. In the same way I love that about photography, and that’s what attracted me to it - being able to capture a moment and share that instantaneously. So you were never trained technically, you just sort of picked it up? Yep - exactly. I just got so infatuated with seeing other people’s work and I wanted a part of it. I wanted to share something, tell a story, or capture a moment. Yeah, I’ve been completely self taught the last year and a half. It’s mostly just picking up a camera and making mistakes and trying to learn from it.

125

126

127

So we love your Twitter byline by the way “Coffee, kicks, and pics.” Would you say that you’re a coffee connoisseur or are you just a coffee drinker? The funny story is, I actually never drank a cup of coffee when I was working in the corporate world, and now I look back and I’m like damn, I could have been so productive. But it really started when we opened the restaurant and the entire staff was trained on the espresso machine, then it was something I literally had to learn. For example, I took sommelier classes so I could know what I was doing in the wine world, and I sort of had to do the same for coffee. But that has turned into an obsession. I love coffee; I love how much our generation has honored it in terms of roasting and where we get out beans from and all that fun stuff. But I literally spend almost 50% of my day in a coffee shop, and especially when I’m traveling I love to seek out places. It’s my perfect medium. And that goes back to the overarching theme - moments. It’s such a great place to have a moment. What’s your drink? I love turning people onto this - the cortado. To me it’s the perfect drink - two ounces of espresso and two ounces of steamed milk. It’s the perfect ratio. Best place to get coffee in Austin? There’s a couple of great places, but the place I spend the most of mine at is called Houndstooth Coffee (http://www. houndstoothcoffee.com/). It’s close to my house and Apothecary, so it’s just become my landing hub for meeting up with friends, getting work done or just spacing out and editing pictures. Austin is such a great place, it’s so friendly and genuine, so the interactions you have with their staff or customers is a great feeling, so that’s kind of my home base. That’s the other funny thing about coffee - I think 128

it really goes beyond the product itself. It’s such a personal experience. The act of going to get coffee is really a sense of relief or happiness or escape. Whether you’re getting one sitting there for an hour, or you’re in the middle of New York and skipping out to a tiny coffee shop and getting espresso to get away from everything, there’s something great in that. Back to your Twitter byline, onto the kicks part - you’d say you’re a pretty stylish guy? I’ve definitely always been into style and always cared about it. It flows into every aspect of your life. Not to kill this word more than it’s already been dead, but it’s kind of about curating your own lifestyle and existence and the things you like, believe in and inspire you. I think style took such a funny turn because none of us are above Instagramming a picture of what we’re wearing that day or a pair of shoes; we love sharing, but I think style in general gets confused as vanity or being superficial and I think it’s really the opposite - it’s just about being able to express yourself and being in love with an aesthetic. Do you have a favorite designer? I have a couple things that I really like and to me it’s never really a designer or what’s hot; for me it’s always what fits my personal aesthetic and what fits my body type really well. In addition to what I believe in in terms of construction and what’s gonna last in a few years. Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? This is funny questions because if you asked me five years ago I might have given you a totally different answer. I love this line of shoes called Common Projects - http://www. commonprojects.com/. They are Italian leather or suede, and they’re all handmade shoes. They’re extremely minimal. You might be not be able to tell the difference between them and a pair of high tops or Converse. They’re beautiful

129

130

Niraj in a Nutshell twitter.com/niraj26 instagram.com/niraj26 http://nirajrai.tumblr.com/ Instagram or Twitter? Instagram. Black and white or color? Black and white. Wine, beer, or a cocktail? Oh, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tough - scotch. Favorite city? Paris.

Film or digital? Film. Breakfast, lunch or dinner? Ooh - breakfast. Summer or fall? Fall. High tops or low tops? High tops.

131

because they’re extremely simple and really classic and I love that aesthetic. I like things that are simple, clean and timeless and that’s where my love for this brand of shoes comes from - a clean pair of white leather high tops that is going to last you for five years and look amazing. So we know you have awesome music taste, do you have any new artists you can introduce us to? Oh, thank you! There’s a song called ‘Dontcha’ from a group called The Internet (http://sweetlemonmag.com/music/ dontcha-wanna-listen-to-the-internet/) - they’re a really young group and they’re a few different members of Odd Future. I think they’re going to be on the forefront in what we’re listening to in terms of R&B, somewhat hip hop and this nod to jazz influence. They’re music just makes you happy and this track is just euphoric. Someone else who I’ve really been into recently is Devonté Hynes and his group Blood Orange. He’s been around for a long time, he’s written songs for a ton of people and he’s blown up recently. I love him - he’s got a great style. It’s an awesome mix between hip hop, R&B, but also dancey, really upbeat, kind of puts you in a good place and really fun to see live. I think people are just starting to really get to know him either as a solo artist or a member of his own band and he’s a really great person that is going to start coming to into the mainstream in the next ew years. Stream The Internet’s latest album, Feel Good, here. http://www.complex.com/ music/2013/09/album-stream-the-internetfeel-good

132

Do you have a favorite artist of all time? That’s really tough - I think if there’s a group or a band that I listen to the most, it might be Radiohead. For the age in which I grew up in and when I was consciously picking out my own music, they were definitely a huge presence. And then they dropped so many albums within the last decade. It’s also kind of one of those things when you’re growing up with one of those bands and your memories are shaped with their albums.

When life gives you lemons… Soak it in, because the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.

133

By: Hannah Matthew @sweetsandcelebrations www.sweetsandcelebrations.com Photography by Monica Wang www.monicawangphotography.com Calligraphy by Jenny Sanders www.moiraink.com

134

BY HANNAH MATHEW An intimate gathering is the perfect occasion to welcome a new season. It’s an opportunity to savor the colors and flavors the time of year provokes and to revel in the excitement of the months to come. But throwing a seasonal soiree can be overwhelmingwithout the proper hostessing tools. It’s easy to feel stressed by the idea of organizing an evening of merriment after a full week’s work, but with my tips for simplifying, you can host an elegant dessert party in a pinch. A fall function calls for lots of warmth in its décor. You know that cozy feeling you get when sipping hot cocoa on a brisk day? That’s the sentiment you want to translate into your design. Deep reds, burnt oranges, chocolate browns, and hints of metallic are my go-to palette for autumn. You can’t go wrong with a classic combination! To start, decide how many dining and serving areas you will have. I limited my soiree to a dessert table and dining table. From there, I started at the base and worked my way up in decoration. I found a true red and a dark chocolate tablecloth (both of which should be readily available in the fall!) and draped them over my two tables. Then I found metallic serveware at my local

craft store for a steal and arranged my dessert table. I integratedsome coordinating candleholders, pumpkin ornaments, and branches to fluff up the display. A little DIY bunting also added a whimsical flair. Up to this point, it was a one stop-shop! Luckily, I know a wonderfully talented artist and calligrapher, Jenny of Moira Ink Calligraphy, and she made the most lovely fall dessert labels for all of my treats. It’s always nice to add a few special details to your display.

Easy DIY Bunting 1 package craft or construction paper Baker’s twine or string Scissors Tape Cut one piece of paper into a triangle of your desired size. Use that triangle as a guideto cut out the remaining triangles. Tape the backsides of each piece along the length of baker’s twine. You can either tape them right next to each other so that the corners touch or leave an even amount of space between each one. 135

136

Speaking of special details, I whipped up a batch of homemade jam (The Barefoot Contessa’s strawberry jam is my favorite) and divided it into individual jars that I placed at my guests’ seats as party favors. Of course you could buy your favorite jam and divide it similarly and it would take a fraction of the time. Just place a simple raffia bow around each jar and they instantly turn into charming, heartfelt little gifts. I used plates, glasses, and napkin rings that I already had for the dining table and shimmery chargers that Ifound at the craft store. A couple gold-leaf votive holders turned vases sat in the centerof the table, filled with red tulips and safflower and flanked by metallic candlesticks. I pulled out my existing gold flatware (which I absolutely love!) and purchased a few burnt orange cloth napkins and placemats at a bargain from the same place I bought the tablecloths.

bought goods shows your guests that you put thought and effort into your presentation without having to spend hours baking. Making macarons can be challenging, and if you have never done it before, I suggestskipping the stress and buying them from a credible bakery. Then, take a few momentsto arrange them thoughtfully. I placed my pumpkin macarons on a bed of fall leafsprinkles. You could brush store bought ones with edible luster dust to add a personal touch and a hint of sparkle, or just make sure they are positioned evenly on your platter. For the cranberry tarts, opt to purchase readymade ingredients and then assemble them yourself. Instead of making pastry baking little tart shells, waiting for them to cool,and creating a cranberry filling buy mini shortbread tart shells. I have seen them in grocery stores and specialty food stores. Then, fill them with a favorite brand ofcranberry sauce. Top them with a few whole cranberries rolled in sugar and a sprig ofmint for garnish.

On to the menu— I chose an array of desserts that were suited to fall. Pumpkin French macarons, chocolate cinnamon cupcakes, sugared cranberry tarts, and the pièce de résistance—apple cider in hollowed out apple cups—adorned the buffet. Although I chose to make each item myself, there are definitely short cuts that you can take. Not everyone has the time to bake an array of sweets, and that’s okay. Dressing up store 137

138

139

Cupcakes tend to be less daunting to make, so if you are comfortable making them and have the time, whip up your favorite recipe (preferably in a flavor that is reminiscent of fall). If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re crunched for time, buy mini chocolate chip muffins and top them with homemade frosting. Making frosting takes only minutes and piping it onto the cupcakes or muffins makes all the difference in appearance. Presentation is key, especially while dressing up store-bought or semihomemade treats.

Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting

(makes enough for 12 full-sized cupcakes or 24 minis) 4 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature 6 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature 41/4 cups powdered sugar, sifted 1/2

teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 1/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 tablespoon milk Mix all ingredients in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Start on a low setting and gradually increase the speed until the frosting is well incorporated, smooth, and whipped.

140

You really can pull together a stylish seasonal party in a pinch. Just follow my simple short cuts and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a thoughtful, chic event that your guests are sure to remember.

141

142

Apple cider in apple cups is a really special, simple way to celebrate autumn. These creations make for a darling presentation and you can’t beat the warming scent of sweet apples, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. First, slice the tops off the apples so that they have even, flat surfaces. This does not have to be perfect but you want to get them as level as possible so that the cider doesn’t spill out the sides. Then, scoop out the centers with an ice cream or avocado scoop. You will want to use some sort of a rounded tool with a sharp enough edge. My preference is the avocado scoop. Hollow out enough of the flesh so that you have a nice well to fill with cider but not too much where you riskcutting through the sides or bottom. Test the apple to make sure you haven’t cut too far by pouring a small amount of cider into it. If there are no leaks, you’re good to go. I coated my apples with a few squeezes of orange to prevent browning but if you are not a fan of the taste, just make sure to hollow the apples just before your guests arrive. I opted not to fully make my own cider. Instead, I simmered a good storebought brand with a few pinches of cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg and cloves. That way my home was filled with the delicious aroma, but I didn’t have to take the time to make cider from scratch. Best of both worlds!

143

144

145

BY Sabr ina Siko ra

IMAGES OF SABRINA PHOTOGRAPHED BY: Martice Milton SCENERY PHOTOS: BY SABRINA 146

147

Sabrina Sikora Dommenge is quite the IT Girl. She began her career as a professional model in 1999, and began working as a professional photographer in 2004. She has worked with companies such as Harper’s Bazaar, Sports Illustrated, Maybelline and Chanel. Originally from Georgia, modeling took Sabrina to New York for several years, (Shanghai, Milan, Miami, and Los Angeles) and she now resides in Hong Kong, where she has been for the past 6 years. One title she has added to her resume in more recent years is Fashion Blogger! If you follow her on instagram, you probably know she is at every fabulous party in Hong Kong. We absolutely love following Sabrina’s travels, photography, and social scene coverage in Hong Kong, so we were thrilled when she agreed to sit down with us for a chat! What is your favorite part about living in Hong Kong? It’s hard to pick a favorite part about living in Hong Kong. It is an incredibly diverse city and there is so much to see and do… and eat! I have taken full advantage of how easy it is to travel in the region and have seen some incredible sights along the way! When in HK, the busy social scene keeps me running from one end of town to another with my blogger friends by my side. It is very easy to make friends and expand your social circle as all the expats start out with limited or no networks at all and are therefore forced to be very outgoing (I know I was!). People tend to be very helpful and offer tips and suggestions about getting around and finding everything you need. This was a huge help when I first moved and now I try to offer the same help to newbies! After work, I love the vast amount of delicious restaurants offering every type of cuisine you could imagine. I have eaten some pretty insane things living in Asia. But perhaps my favorite part of living in HK is that I never know what is around the bend. It always seems to be changing! Top: Dolce Vita Skirt: c/o Marks and Spencer Shoes: Sam Edelman Bag: c/o Anya Hindmarch Earrings: Miriam Haskell Watch: Michael Kors Bracelets: BCBG (tassel), Marc Jacobs (chain) c/o Net-a-porter, Hermes (H), Cartier, Alexis Bittar (teal) c/o shopbop Ring: Alexis Bittar

148

149

What are your favorite places in the city? After six years walking and wandering around HK I have found more than a few spots that I love. Agnes B CafĂŠ on Gough Street is where I go for afternoon tea breaks or to meet new clients. I love walking through the wet market on the way there and frequently buy flowers from the stalls along the street. For props for photo shoots I hit up Pottinger Street or the Cat Street Market. You can always find some odd accessory to use to give the photo extra oomph! The elevated walkways of Central allow me to stay off the busy streets and out of the rain when flitting to store after store for events! When my feet need a rest and my stomach needs refueling I head to Hollywood Road Park in Sheung Wan to watch the koi and snack on sweets. On sunny weekends I hop in a cab and take the 20-minute trip to the south side of the island to feast on Thai food and lay on the beach in Shek-O. Most importantly, please tell us about your favorite places to shop in HK. Hong Kong is a place you have to discover! It is not like NY where you just walk down the street and are greeted by every open shop front boasting their wares. Yes, we have monster malls and stand alone shops like Zara, H&M and Topshop (which I am frequently in) but in Hong Kong rent is very expensive so some of the best shops are hidden in office buildings on the 12th floor or down an alley on some unnamed street. That is why Sassy Hong Kong is so great. They provide you with a virtual buddy to divulge the shopping secrets of the city.

150

Jacket: Zara Shirt: c/o H&M Skirt: c/o H&M Shoes: Aldo Bag: 3.1 Phillip Lim Camera: Fuji x100S Gloves: c/o H&M Bracelets: thick gold chain c/o H&M, Hermes (H), Cartier Watch: Michael Kors Necklace: c/o H&M Rings: Alexander McQueen c/o Net-a-porter

151

152

153

Here are a few of my must shop spots: The 9th Muse- This jewelry / accessory shop sells loads of intriguing brands and several local labels as well. The shop owners are super fun and can guide you to just what it is that you are looking for. I almost never leave empty handed! http://www.the9thmuse.com Polkadot- This shop was started by a Southern girl who relocated to the Kong just like me! She knows what HK’ers need to beat the heat while looking chic and provides a colorful array of dresses and separates in both international and local brands (including What the Frock?!, Cameo, and Tangram) to do just that! She also carries Bejewelled Bespoke, a local jewelry line created by banker-turned-boxer/ jewelry designer Tricia Yap. Emi & Eve is another interesting accessories brand that takes bomb casings found in Cambodia and melts them down to create bangles and closure decorations on clutches. http://www.shoppolkadot.com/ Sheer- Travel down an alley and up a few floors and your will find lacy lingerie galore. They also stock a gorgeous line of swimwear. This is the perfect stop before a beachy holiday! http://sheer.com.hk Buttonhole- This hole in the wall shop stocks factory seconds at a fraction of the regular retail price! Typical scores include leather jackets, Lanvin, Botega and McQueen bags, and colorful Marni and Stella McCartney shifts. http://sassyhongkong.com/city-guide/buttonhole/ Barney Barnett- If you are a blogger in HK then you own a Barnett necklace! Tassels, and skulls, and fringe….. oh my! They are not sold in stores so you have to email the owner to get the look book to order from. I get stopped every time I wear my dip-dyed skull necklace (featured in the image with the gold sequin blazer). http://barneybarnett.blogspot.com Me& Gee aka Me& George- This well guarded secret is a must for the HK hipster crowd. My favorite outpost is down an alley off Queen’s Road Central. At first glance it is nothing much but if you climb the rickety metal staircase in the back corner of the shop you are treated to some real finds! There is an entire wall filled with dresses from the 70’s and 80’s and while there is no fitting room you can easily shimmy the dresses on over what you have on to get an idea of fit, which you should do as there are no returns. Prices range from around $10-15 for a dress so you can stock up without any guilt. Just beware of how much you can get in your suitcase… although you can buy cheap suitcases right next door if you so desire! 64 Tung Choi Street, Mongkok; 9 Li Yuen Street West, Central (no phone/ no website). 154

155

156

157

158

When you’re not modeling/blogging/taking photos, what can we find you doing? The photography and fashion blogging are not just work but are incredibly fun too so it is rare that I am not doing some sort of “work” after hours and on the weekends. When I do step away from the screens, I take walks to local cafes like Agnes B and The Deadend Café and read magazines and people watch. I also just learned how to sew and have been dreaming up outfits to make (though I have only completed a pillow and some minor mending as of yet). When the weather is nice (a rarity), the American Club in Hong Kong is a great place to sneak away for a burger with my better half and a swim. Cocktail hour with the girls is essential for sharing new shopping finds and hashing out the week just passed.

Jacket: Zara Dress: c/o H&M Hat: c/o H&M Shoes: Steve Madden Bag: Chanel Necklace: Barnett http://barneybarnett.blogspot.com (local HK designer) Bracelets: Skeleton Hand Piece c/o H&M, , Hermes (H), Cartier Rings: Citrine c/o Shopbop, Alexander McQueen c/o Net-a-porter

159

160

161

162

163

Suit: Topshop Shirt: Topshop Shoes: Nine West Bag: vintage Watch: Michael Kors Rings: Jade Market (dragon), Citrine c/o Shopbop Necklace: Alexander McQueen Bracelets: Hermes (H), Cartier Sunglasses: c/o Ports 1961

What do you look forward to the most when you are visiting the states? And what do you look forward to the mo when visiting your home state of Georgia

Once the plane ticket is booked and I ha started mentally preparing my outfits for th trip (or polaroiding or sketching them as I sometimes do) I start daydreaming of my must-do’s for the holiday! My trips normall revolve around Georgia, New York, and Vermont and my to-do’s in each locale are quite different.

My Georgia time typically involves noshin at Chick-Fil-A, Fresh Air BBQ, Natalia’s, a Fountain of Juice with my family and friend that I have known since grade school. I also love a good raid of the local Goodw stores to amp up my vintage collection followed by shopping for shoes that can stand up to the hills of Hong Kong. I have huge feet (size 11) and can’t find shoes to fit there so I stock up while in the States. I also load up on go-anywhere dresses and any beauty products that I can’t find in As Something I must do on every trip home is to go for a long drive with the radio turne up and all the windows down. HK is a ta town and I so miss driving! 164

ost a?

ave he

ng and ds

will

e o I d sia. s ed axi 165

166

167

Dress: Topshop Shoes: Nine West Bag: Vintage Celine Bracelets: BCBG (large gold with charms), Hermes (H), Cartier Ring: Alexander McQueen c/o Net-a-porter Earrings: Vintage Watch: Michael Kors Sunglasses: c/o Ports 1961

168

169

170

171

What is your favorite part about your job? Hardest part?

We’re obsessed with your instagrams. Tell us your secrets. Any special tricks?

I have been very lucky to find a way to make a living doing what I love. It’s hard to say what the favorite part of my job is as each day is different. Perhaps that is what I love so much! One day I am shooting fashion and working with an incredible team to bring a shoot concept to life and the next I am event hopping with my blogger friends, trying on samples, sipping champers, and seeing what is soon to hit stores. I love to dress up in ridiculous outfits and gigantic accessories and flit around town from one thing to the next Instagramming as I go.

Thank you! I am obsessed with Instagramming! I don’t really have any special tips that I can think of. I tend to just shoot things that bring a smile to my face- fashion & shoes, food, behind the scenes from events and shoots, and travel shots. Images including cupcakes tend to garner more likes than anything else!

The hardest part of my job is trying to fit everything that I want to do in the limited hours of a day. Thankfully, I am in control of my own schedule so I can pack as much in as possible while still being careful not to overload the system. That ensures that whether it is photo retouching or a blog post everything gets done and by the deadlines required. What is the fashion scene like in HK? What about the fashion blogging scene? The fashion scene in HK is a blast! Hong Kong is a great entry point into China so designers tend to stop through here on their way to the mainland. Many shops and brands also use this as a testing ground for entering into the Asian market. This lends to a fantastic amount of events to attend and people to meet! Hong Kongers love brand name goodies, though the vintage scene is becoming more prominent, and designer handbags are a real source of pride for men and women alike. When in doubt wear black though I love to stand out in crazy colors, loud prints, and ridiculously high heels! There is always something going on and you can easily wear out your Loub’s traversing the many steep stairs of the Kong event hopping!

172

Down to even more serious business: Please tell us a little bit about your skincare routine! I hate to admit it but I am terribly lazy when it comes to a skin care routine! I tend to cleanse with Cetaphil, exfoliate with St. Ive’s Apricot Scrub, and moisturize with L’Occitane products. I hate to say that I don’t really wear sunscreen unless I am outdoors shooting. For make up, my fave brands are Bare Minerals and Urban Decay. Top it all off with a thick swipe of Bobbi Brown Gel Eyeliner and I am set. And I like to keep an absurd amount of bright creamy lipsticks in my bag at all times with the faves being from Mac or the Color Sensational Vivids line from Maybelline. Champagne or coke? Both but not together! Champagne for parties and girly catch-ups and a real coke in a can for when I sit on my couch after a shoot and eat a full slab of ribs. Mmmmmm…..ribs. Cupcakes or macarons? Both! One of my favorite cakes that I have found in Hong Kong is at Sevva. It is a pistachio cake covered in macarons and topped with cotton candy. It is called the Marie Antoinette! Sheer perfection! When life gives you lemons..... Stick them in your bra and make your boobs bigger!

173

Links: www.sabrinasikoraphotography.com www.sabrinasikoraphotography.com/blog www.sabrinasikora.com www.sassyhongkong.com www.facebook.com/photographybymartice Social Media: Instagram: @sabrinasikora Twitter: @sabrinasikorahk Viss: @sabrinasikora Facebook:www.facebook. com/pages/Sabrina-SikoraPhotography/166047693447910

174

Dress: Ferragamo Shoes: Michael Antonio Bracelets: H&M (silver arm cuff), Cartier

175

1 .Individual donors who pledge less than

$200 2. Individual donors who pledge more than $200 3. Political Action Committees(PACs) 4. Candidates own financing

Super PACs, Citizens United & Politics’ Winding Money Trail BY CARLETON ENGLISH Our country’s true separation between church and state has been questionable at best but no one has ever denied the lack of separation between money and politics. As we head toward Election Days in 2013, 2014, and start to hear early rumblings of the 2016 Presidential Election, let’s try to decipher some of the terms you are likely to hear as pundits from both sides of the proverbial aisle assail their opponents for the use - and misuse - of political funds.

Campaign Finance The 2008 presidential race saw an estimated $2.4 billion spent. Of that, more than $1 billion was spent just by the two nominees: President (then-Senator) Barack Obama and (still) Senator John McCain. But here’s what’s telling: that other $1.4 billion was spent by parties and interest groups. And it’s not just running for president. According to Politico, $2.9 billion was spent by candidates, political parties, and interest groups outside of the presidential election. Which means two things: one, it takes a lot of money to run for office these days; and two, the days of publicly funded campaigns are basically over. So where’s the cash coming from? Well... 176

There are limits to how much each the first three groups can contribute to a campaign depending upon whether the gift is to a candidate directly or to a party [see chart for specific amounts]. The reason being of course, to avoid candidates (and eventual leaders!) being swayed by special interest groups. The goal is noble but many have questioned its efficacy given loopholes and inefficiencies in the campaign finance system. You’ll hear a lot of people blame something called Citizens United -- and we’ll get there -- but first, some things you need to know about the way our campaign finance system works. Federal Election Commission (FEC) The FEC is a bipartisan regulatory body that was founded in 1975 under the Federal Election Campaign Act. This agency is tasked with making sure campaigns disclose the sources of their funding, limiting and prohibiting types of contributions, and overseeing public funding of presidential elections. While the goals of the FEC are generally supported by both sides, the agency is subject to criticism because it is unable to act immediately. We know, it’s surprising that red tape in government would slow the process and be detrimental to the end goal. In many cases, fines and other penalties issued for the misuse of campaign funds come long after the elections have been won or lost. Which gives less scrupulous elected officials the chance to say “the ends justify the means” and we’ll take the fines and regulations after we’ve won. Ah, ethics. Political Action Committees (PACs) PACs have likely always existed in some form or another but they became institutionalized in 1947 following the Taft-Hartley Act, which prohibited unions and corporations from contributing funds to influence federal elections. But here’s the thing: While XYZ

Contribution Lmits 2013-2014

To each candidate or candidate committee per election

To national party committee per calendar year

To state, district & local party committee per calendar year

To any other political committee per calendar year

Special Limits

$123,200 overall biennial limit: • $48,600 to all candidates • $74,600 to all PACs and parties

Individual may give

$2,600

$32,400

$10,000 (combined limit)

$5,000

National Party Committee may give

$5,000

No limit

$5,000

$45,400 to Senate candidate per campaign

State, District & Local Party Committee may give

$5,000 (combined limit)

No limit

$5,000 (combined limit)

No limit

PAC (multi-candidate) may give

$5,000

$15,000

$5,000 (combined limit)

$5,000

No limit

PAC (not multicandidate may give)

$2,600

$32,400

$10,000 (combined limit)

$5,000

No limit

Corporation may be (theoretically) limited in how much money it can give a campaign, all of the employees of XYZ Corporation can completely coincidentally set up a private fund to get their candidate elected. Unions and corporations are unable to contribute directly to federal PACs but they can cover administrative costs affiliated with their designated PAC. You can see where this gets slippery in the world of soft money. A corporation or union may not give money to a specific campaign, but covering administrative costs provides a space for other donors to strategize. How does one define administrative costs? To those of us in cubicle land it likely means things that are covered by a trip to Staples but in the high end world of politics “administrative costs” can involve hosting thousand dollar plate dinners for potential donors or covering the salary of a top political strategist. You can see why a candidate might feel beholden to PACs. NOTE: Political donations that are unregulated so long as they go toward a party and “party building activities” and not politician or campaign. Soft money is a big loophole in the campaign finance system as it is largely unregulated, especially compared to the strict limits placed on hard money donations.

177

Super Political Action Committees (Super PACs) Ever wonder why some political advertisements have the candidate stating, “I am Pat Candidate, and I approve this message?” This is the result of a provision in the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act (BCRA, aka the McCain-Feingold Act) which requires candidates to state their agreement with the content of their campaign’s advertisement. The hope is to prevent personal attacks in political advertising, or to require that a candidate who decides to “go negative” at least owns up to it. This provision, however, does not prevent friends of a candidate from going negative. And if you’re running for office, chances are you’ve got a lot of friends. Cue the Super PACs, which are much like PACs except they are not explicitly tied to a campaign. Which means all those donations from the workers at XYZ Corp. are suddenly less regulated. Here’s where the lines get a little...blurred. By the rulebook, candidates are not allowed to know exactly how Super PAC funds are being used. That said, it’s incredibly likely that people who have the candidate’s ear do know about Super PAC funds and could theoretically nudge their candidate accordingly, and vice versa. Take Newt Gingrich, for example, who used media outlets to advise -- not coordinate with! -- Super PACs affiliated with him during the 2012 primaries about attack ads being run about Mitt Romney’s time and record at Bain Capital. Speaking out “as a citizen” in front of the gaggle, he “called on” the Super PAC via the press to express what he’d like to see in the attack film. Stephen Colbert called this thin line a “small loop-chasm” in Super PAC regulations. For any of you who watched the evolution of Stephen Colbert’s Super PAC, Colbert Super PAC, during the 2012 election it was instantly clear how fuzzy the lines between Super PAC and candidate can be. For those of you who missed it, Colbert actually registered Colbert Super PAC with the FEC, then announced his candidacy for president in South Carolina, and 178

turned Colbert Super PAC operations over to his friend and fellow Comedy Central host, Jon Stewart - who definitely did not coordinate with candidate Colbert. While appearing on TDS one night in January, Colbert exploited the loop-chasm by explaining to his Super PAC head: “I can’t tell you [what to do] but I can tell everyone through television. And if you happen to be watching, well, I can’t prevent that, Jon.” It stands to note that Colbert’s series on campaign finance regulations in the aftermath of the Citizens decision won a Peabody and excellently displayed the many flaws, loopholes, and workarounds frequently utilized by politicians running for office. In other words, watch it. Moreover, Super PACs tend to have ambiguous sounding names such as “Restore our Future” (2012 Romney supporters) or “Priorities USA” (2012 Obama supporters) which makes it difficult for casual political followers to see the biases.

Citizen’s United v. Federal Election Committee And now the big one. Citizen’s United is a conservative organization that specializes in making documentaries. In 2008, they were barred from showing a documentary on Hillary Clinton within 30 days of a primary - admittedly the film did not put her in a favorable light - because the film was viewed as an extended attack ad and broke rules made in the BCRA (that we mentioned above). For the sake of showing both sides, one could also argue that Michael Moore’s 2004 film, Fahrenheit 9/11, could also be construed as an extended attack ad on the Bush Administration. In January 2010 the Supreme Court controversially ruled, 5-4, that restricting the release of the film was a violation of First Amendment rights. The majority opinion read: Courts, too, are bound by the First Amendment. We must decline to draw, and then redraw, constitutional lines based on the particular media or technology used

todisseminate political speech from a particular speaker. It must be noted, moreover, that this undertaking would require substantial litigation over an extended time, all tointerpret a law that beyond doubt discloses serious First Amendment flaws. The interpretive process itself wouldcreate an inevitable, pervasive, and serious risk of chilling protected speech pending the drawing of fine distinctions that, in the end, would themselves be questionable. First Amendment standards, however, “must give the benefit ofany doubt to protecting rather than stifling speech.” WRTL, 551 U. S., at 469 (opinion of ROBERTS, C. J.) (citing New York Times Co. v. Sullivan, 376 U. S. 254, 269–270 (1964)). By extension of this reasoning, more Super PACs were formed with the noble goal of exercise of free speech in mind. And who can blame them? Few things are seen as more American than freedom of speech. With SCOTUS support on the grounds of First Amendment Rights, many would argue that it is the duty of Super PACs to produce political documentaries. It’s not so much the proliferation of Super PACs, but the ludicrous “rules” that regulate them. As exposed satirically by Colbert, and seriously by many journalists, the Citizens ruling opened the floodgates for special interest and lobbied money in electoral politics to function freely and play fast and loose with the regulations of the system. Unlimited corporate contributions (remember those?) are now also tacitly permitted under this system. We frequently hear the words “close the loopholes” in politics, but in few cases does it so desperately need to be done as in campaign finance. The loopholes undo many of the rules put in place to begin with. Don’t coordinate with PAC heads? Just tell it to the cameras. Get sued for violating these FEC rules? Keep raising that money because you can probably use the PAC fund to supplement your legal expenses. We’ll likely see the full effect of the Supreme Court ruling during the 2016 Presidential Election, where pro (and anti!) Hillary Clinton PACs have already been formed. It’s never too

early to start exercising your right to lobby -- I mean, to free speech.

Why does all this matter to you? Surely I am not the first person to tell you that politics is often a dirty game in which candidates are tempted by bribes and greased palms for a few votes. Any of you can watch House of Cards for the (fictional) version of that fairytale. But following the money trail is no new idea. A campaign’s money trail can tell you much more about a candidate than they will say on the stump. For example, a company may say they support workers’ rights but if they are funded by a company with unfair labor practices, you should question their actions if elected. A little sleuthing during campaign season can (literally) mean a world of difference and can provide clues as to what that candidate’s voting patterns will be if he/ she does get elected to office. Happy election season -- and now you can feel free to jump in on all those conversations lamenting Citizens as the end of politics as we knew it. As if it was so clean to begin with.

Carleton English is a Philadelphian working for a medical device start-up and recently launched Belus Capital Advisors, an investment research firm with noted market analyst, Brian Sozzi. She previously worked as a Client Associate for a Seattle-based wealth management firm serving high net worth clients and leading financial literacy seminars for teens and young adults. She maintains her passion for finance by serving as TreasurerElect for the Junior League of Philadelphia and writing for Sweet Lemon Magazine and other online publications. Carleton enjoys tango dancing, classic moviesand finding good food. Carleton is a graduate of the Elliott School of International Affairs at George Washington University. Twitter: @carletonenglish Website: www.carletonenglish.com

179

Deciphering the NFL BY Cyrus Roepers

As an avowed Redskins fan, I will happily grab every opportunity to in some way, shape, or form promote the success of my team down The Warpath. Make no mistake that this column, in the end, will be no exception. Let’s spend some time together to really understand football and what’s going on this season. Take our hand, we swear we’ll make you a guru by the Super Bowl. What is the gist of football? What are the teams and storylines to root for? How does one actually root or enjoy football in all its splendor? Who do I think (hope) wins the Super Bowl? Let’s dive right in and tackle (pun intended) all these questions right here, right now.

What is the Gist of This Odd Game? There are three different types of 11-man squads on any given football team. There’s an offense, led by the quarterback trying to score the ball. There’s a defense that tries to stop the offense from scoring (and sometimes score on their own in spectacular, but really rare, plays). Then there’s special teams, a squad of 11 players who really only play in 3% of the game, so no need to worry about them for the time being. 180

Timing and Pace of Play The game, which consists of four 15-minute quarters, actually ends up lasting a few hours. How does one hour magically become three? Because the game is split up into individual plays lasting ~30 seconds followed by 30 seconds of rest. And, of course, there are the commercials...the NFL made $9 billion in revenues last year thanks in large part to these commercial breaks. While the overarching goal of the offense is to make it all the way down the 100 yard field, the offense is also expected to move forward 10 yards every 4 plays (or downs). If they can’t do that (and a lot of teams somehow can’t), then the defense has done their job. Time for the other offense to try and score. Scoring Excluding the scoring anomalies of golf and tennis, the objective in football, like most sports, is to score more points than your opponent. There are several ways to do this: • Touchdown - 6 pts - The football crosses the end-zone, or last yard of play on the field. After a touchdown, the scoring team is allowed another kind of “freebie” play to

score more points. (See: Extra point and 2 Point Conversions)

considered the “quarterbacks of the defense.” Special teams?

• Extra Point - 1 pts - More often than not, teams will settle to kick for an extra 1 point. This is the boring way to do it, but it is an easy point to get.

What Should I Pay Attention To? Who is Actually Worth Rooting For?

• 2 Point Conversions - 2 pts - These are fun, but happen pretty infrequently. The offense of the scoring team makes another cameo to cross the endzone again, this time starting at the 2 yard line. These situations are usually reserved for big, game-defining moments and are pretty intense. • Field Goal - 3 pts - If the offense can’t cross the endzone (also known as “not doing their job”), then the special teams comes on and can salvage some points for the team. 3 points isn’t as appealing as 6, but it’s at least something. Some real snoozers of games have been decided just on field goals. (Most notable field goal - and miss Scott Norwood’s “wide right” in Superbowl XXV in 1991.)

Yes, there are 32 teams in the NFL oddly grouped into sub-conferences, but truthfully not all teams and conferences merit the same attention. If you know the basic gist of the upcoming storylines for these 5 teams, you’ll be more then ready for 80% of the football conversations you hear between now, the Super Bowl, and all those water cooler fantasy league talks. So without further ado:

• Safety - 2 pts - Don’t worry about this one for now. This happens rarely and will be part of an intermediate course later. It just means the defense did their job really, really well. Important Players The most important player on offense, sometimes referred to as the general of the offense, is the quarterback. Players like Aaron Rodgers (also of “Discount Double Check” fame) and Tom Brady (on the cover of every other edition of GQ) are quarterbacks. Also important on offense are running backs (who run) and wide receivers (who catch). On defense, linebackers are generally the anchors of the defense. There are tons of positions on defense, all of which are important, but linebackers somehow are

1. New England Patriots - Who’s left in the Brady Bunch? For the past decade and some, Tom Brady has been pretty dominant on the football field. In the best of times, and in the worst of times, he’s still managed to win 75% of his games (which is really, really good). Over the past couple years, he’s been surrounded by some star power and has had a lot of high-caliber help to keep the excellence going. You may have heard of names like Wes Welker or Rob Gronkowski (who’s equally as famous for his football as for his epic partying). If you have a Patriots fan in your inner circle, you may have even heard “Level 2” names like Stevan Ridley, Jerod Mayo, or Vince Wilfork. This year? It’s a little different, at least for Brady and his offense. Welker is gone. Gronkowski has all sorts of ailments. And you may have heard about Aaron Hernandez in mainstream news, which is an absolutely CRAZY story. All this means is that Brady is somewhat back to square one. He is leading a cast of newbies and lesser-knowns on the path to success. He’s a brilliant player and has done it before (winning 181

a couple of Super Bowls in this way), so I personally don’t expect the Patriots season to suffer from it. 2. Baltimore Ravens - Losing more key characters than The Sopranos Last January was a great month for Baltimore Ravens fans. One of their greatest players, Ray Lewis, ended his playing career in perhaps the most fairytale way possible. Riding waves of good luck and good mojo, the Ravens pulled off an amazing playoff run and won a very exciting Super Bowl. Most teams would try to laissez les bon temps rouler (let the good times roll), but unfortunately the Ravens were not afforded that chance. Ray Lewis retired. Other key players like Ed Reed and Anquan Boldin got too expensive, too old, or simply couldn’t be in the team’s plans anymore. The Ravens lost six out of 11 players from their defensive squad, a level of employee turnover which could make any company go belly up. With quarterback Joe Flacco at the helm, the Ravens may come out pretty okay on the other side. Remaining key players are getting healthy again, and they made smart moves to bring in new players. In a lot of ways, this team could actually be better poised to make a repeat run than the old team would have. This all remains to be seen and is complete hearsay on my part, but stay tuned on this one.

An unfortunate (but by no means his fault) playoff game loss last year has returned the single thing Peyton Manning naysayers had in their arsenal: that he can’t win “big games”. This is baloney and Peyton has won himself a Super Bowl before, but certain people love stirring the pot nonetheless. This year is Manning’s second year with a new team, one which he dramatically improved from what he inherited from Tim Tebow. He has a few new toys, including the aforementioned Welker, and should be poised for another Super Bowl run this year. And after starting the season, not just 2-0, but with 7 touchdown passes in his first game alone, this is definitely gonna be a fun season for Peyton and Denver fans alike. This season is a fun one for Denver fans, and there should be plenty of “big games” for Peyton to try to win this year. 4. Washington Redskins Keeping RG3 Healthy This is a critical storyline for the Redskins coming up this season. RG3, both through his performance and extenuating circumstance, is the linchpin for Redskins success for the next few years. It’s an awesome position to be in... only there’s a tremendous amount of pressure to keep him healthy after a major knee injury in January.

Before I go further, let me say that the one year of the RG3 era has been more exciting and rewarding than anything from the previous 5 seasons combined. Hell, he even made 3. Denver Broncos - Peyton Manning, the initials RG cool again, thwarting Rex Part Deux Grossman’s attempts to make us Redskins fans rue the letter combination. He’s incredibly Peyton Manning, in addition to making talented on the field, has accompanying hilarious commercials, is one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history. Watching him play charisma to be the face of the franchise, and is a very marketable and likeable athlete (despite football, especially when he’s working with being on stupid Subway commercials). He’s, in some good momentum, can be a privilege. 182

In short, exactly what the Redskins needed after what has can be easily described as a “subpar decade” by our historical standards. All of this good mojo could be compromised, however, if we can’t keep RG3 healthy. He himself will need to become a bit smarter with his style of play (i.e. less reckless), and the Redskins as an organization will need to make sure that he stays well protected and healthy throughout an entire season.

How To Actually Enjoy Football in All Its Splendor? Besides the rules, teams, and other nuances, there is an art to watching football and creating your own rituals. This is really what makes football football. To enjoy football in all its immaculate glory, one must abide by three commandments: 1. Thou shalt be in the presence of others whose company you enjoy. 2. Thou shalt enjoy good food and beverages whilst watching football. For patrons over 21, adult beverages are encouraged (but not compulsory). 3. Thou shalt emotionally invest thyself somehow in the game at hand, even whenst thine team is not playing. To some this may mean any team that beats the Patriots. Yes, Jets fans, I’m looking at you.

5. San Francisco 49ers - After an Alex Smith injury midway through last season, Colin

Kaepernick’s EncoreThese commandments may seem vague, and they most certainly are. But that’s what makes the entire experience so great: no two football viewing parties are the same. When it comes to Sunday afternoons and their preferred methods of “pigskin consumption”, to each their own.

183

Depending on how many amigos are still around by the end of the late afternoon games, football viewing actually presents itself as a wonderful segue into a nice dinner time together. And for those that still haven’t had enough football after 7 hours, the dinnertime can segue into viewing the last game of the day on Sunday Night Football. This ritual may seem excessive, and in a lot of ways it is. It’s what has worked for me, but the beauty of these Sundays is that they can be created, consumed, and enjoyed in whatever way you want. All that matters is that you make some time for good company, good food, and some great football.

Who Should I Expect to Win the Super Bowl? In case you need some help to set up your own tradition, allow me to explain how I spend my football Sundays. I like to cook, so I will make at least some finger foods (sometimes full-on multi-course meals) to carry my viewing troupe through 6+ hours of football. These finger foods, dips, entrees, creme caramels, quiches, etc. will be accompanied with an adult beverage of some sort. Sweet Lemon’s very own Alex Lemley introduced me to a Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale that has revolutionized my Sunday. With food and friends in place and ready to go, we fire up the television. While the Redskins are playing on one of the main cable channels, they will be watched. At other times, though, I have become fanatical about watching NFL Redzone, a TV channel that brings football viewing into an entirely different stratosphere. This channel only comes on between 1pm and 8pm on Sundays (i.e. “football time”) and provides commercial-free, non-stop whip-around coverage of all games playing at all times. It is disorienting one moment, addicting the next. 184

In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m biased, jaded, brainwashed, and everything in between. My personal Super Bowl prediction is that the Redskins win over somebody else (the opponent is yet TBD). Everything in the season ultimately will set the stage for a glorious Redskins victory and an ensuing parade down the streets of DC. I realize this prediction may seem incomplete and maybe a little myopic, but it’s really the only way we Skins fans know. Nobody knows what will actually end up happening... a lot of new storylines can and will develop between now and February. (But go ahead, become blinded by loyalty to a team.) All one can do as a sports fan is stay true to their teams and enjoy the ride the 2013-2014 NFL Season can offer. Resources: http://www.nfl.com/rulebook/ beginnersguidetofootball http://beta.active.com/football/footballarticles/glossary-of-football-terms

Politics Can Be Pretty Why I plan to run for office and why you should consider it too.

BY Vett Vandiver, @RCSOATL Chances are that growing up your parents told you at some point you could grow up to be whatever you wanted – yes, even president. And maybe for some short period of time you believed it. I did. But according to a survey performed by Richard Fox and Jennifer Lawless, in their book “Girls Just Wanna Not Run: The Gender Gap in Young Americans’ Political Ambition,” 63% of women have never even thought about running for office. Meanwhile, I think about it at least five times a day. Every time I read an article on Georgia’s struggling education system, I think about it. Last week, when I saw a disabled homeless woman digging through a trash bin on a torn up sidewalk, I thought about it. This morning, when I almost witnessed an accident at a poorly planned intersection, I thought about it.

general. Are Fox and Lawless right that girls just wanna not run? I understand that the world of politics isn’t for everyone, but I don’t think it’s the politics of politics that’s keeping women away. It’s not just that women need to be more involved in politics, but also that politics needs our involvement. And society needs to start pushing and motivating women to get in the race. The guys have more [political] ambition. In their report, Fox and Lawless identify five factors that contribute to America’s gender gap in political ambition among young people, but I personally identify with three of those factors: (See graphic on next page)

I can’t stop thinking about it. But many women don’t share these same thoughts. Instead of running for office, they seem to be running away from politics in 185

“Girls Just Wanna Not Run: The Gender Gap in Young Americans’ Political Ambition,” Jennifer Lawless and Richard Fox identify five factors that contribute to America’s gender gap in political ambition among young people: Based on study done in U.S. of 2,100 college students between ages of 18-25 1. Young men are more likely than young women to be socialized by their parents to think about politics as a career. 2. From their school experiences to their peer associations to their media habits, young women tend to be exposed to less political information and discussion than do young men. 3. Young men are more likely than young women to have played organized sports and care about winning. 4. Young women are less likely than young men to receive encouragement to run for office – from anyone. 5. Young women are less likely than young men to think they will be qualified to run for office, even once they are established in their careers.

It’s not that women aren’t capable of running for office and being great politicians, but that our society has conditioned us to believe the opposite. Political exposure: We’re watching The Bachelor more than MSNBC I’m guilty of indulging in reality television – the trashier and more ridiculous; the more likely I am to tune in. But I also watch CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News. Apparently I’m an outlier. Fox and Lawless report that women just aren’t exposed to politics – from childhood on into adulthood. I know it seems dull from afar (and I won’t pretend that C-SPAN is anything more than a camera focused on a Congressional chamber 186

room) but politics can be thrilling, emotional, and life-changing. No, seriously. What were you watching on the night of June 25, 2013? My eyes were glued to my laptop screen as I watched the live stream of Sen. Wendy Davis holding a ten-hour long filibuster to block legislation that would create new abortion regulations in Texas. During those almost eleven hours, she couldn’t eat, drink, take a restroom break, or lean on anything for support. She stood the whole time – hence the sneakers. Her determination sparked fire in thousands of politicians and citizens nationwide who watched and stood with her that night. On Twitter, #StandWithWendy trended for days. In a political climate where politicians too often play it safe, State Sen. Davis took an enormous personal and political risk in order to defend the reproductive rights of women all over Texas. I watched in awe, chills up my back, as the filibuster came to an end and cameras showed the rotunda of the Texas Capitol overflowing with Texas women and men who were literally standing in support of Wendy in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Moments like this one make me proud of our representative system of government and motivated to become a female politician who can make a difference and take a stand (sometimes literally) for the people in my community. Myth of under qualification & the lack of encouragement to run In actuality, women possess all of the characteristics of great politicians. Some of those characteristics are discussed Fast Company’s piece, “7 Shared Traits that Unite Women in Power.” The article shows how many women in powerful professional and leadership positions share the similar qualities of being effective role models, hard workers, confident, supportive of other women, knowledgeable, visible, and active in mentoring. These traits describe today’s effective women leaders who are standing out in their fields.

Think of your professional role models who are women. They probably encompass these traits, and would make excellent politicians if their passion drove them to that career path. Additionally, women are great at working in groups, problem solving, and critical thinking. Where men typically forge ahead, women try to ask questions to get the full picture of something in their heads before tackling it blindly. Critical thinking, after listening and truly trying to understand an issue, is a crucial skill for politicians to have and use. Furthermore, many current issues and debates directly affect women – equal pay in the work place, child support laws, pro-life vs. prochoice, and more. We’ve got to be leading the conversations on these issues that affect our bodies and our daily lives. More women are entering the types of careers that politicians emerge from -- business leaders, educators, lawyers, journalists, and saleswomen. Decades ago, the support system for women interested in running for office was almost non-existent. But things are changing. Support and encouragement is steadily growing as organizations, like She Should Run, with the mission of supporting women in politics, start to emerge. She Should Run’s website states that the organization is “dedicated to dramatically increasing the number of women in public leadership by eliminating and overcoming barriers to success.” And that’s exactly what we need more women and men to be dedicated to: equal opportunity for women (and men!) to run for an elected position, if they choose. Fox and Lawless note that “in the last few decades, researchers have provided compelling evidence that when women run for office - regardless of the position they seek - they are just as likely as men to win their races.”

Discover your political role model Recently, several women have risen to highprofiles and positions of influence in our nation’s government. Think Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Sarah Palin, and Condoleezza Rice. For many, these are household names. Just like in any other career, it’s important to discover women who you admire and seek to emulate. My list of political crushes grows every week, but here are some you should know: Nancy Pelosi, 73, Minority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives • First woman to serve as Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives • Founding member of the Congressional Progressive Caucus • Cathy McMorris Rodgers, 44, Chair of the House Republicans Congress • Holds the No. 4 position in the House leadership hierarchy • Advocate of workplace flexibility for women Elizabeth Warren, 64, Democratic Senator from Massachusetts • First female senator from Massachusetts • Previous Harvard Law School professor • Sat on Senate Banking Committee that implemented Dodd-Frank and other banking industry regulations Susana Martinez, 54, Republican Governor of New Mexico • First female Hispanic governor in U.S. history • Named 2010 New Mexico Prosecutor of the Year And of course there are the women who have paved the way for young women like me who dream of one day sitting at the head of the table with the “good old boys” of politics: Madeleine Albright, 76, first woman to serve as Secretary of State • Awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Barack Obama 187

• Serves as a director on the Board of the Council of Foreign Relations • Fluent in English, Russian, French, Czech, and Polish Dianne Feinstein, 80, U.S. Senator from California (since 1992) • Former mayor of San Francisco • Author of assault weapons legislation • Oldest serving U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer, 72, junior U.S. senator from California (since 1993) • Previously served in the U.S. House of Representatives • Democratic Chief Deputy Whip • First woman to Chair the U.S. Senate’s Committee on Environment and Public Works Condoleezza Rice, 58, former U.S. Secretary of State • First female African-American secretary of state • Her parents raised her to believe “she can be the president of the United States” • First female member of Augusta National Golf Course Hillary Clinton, 65, former U.S. Secretary of State • Previous first lady, senator of N.Y., and candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination (2008) • First former first lady to run for public office and serve in a president’s cabinet • Favored to run and win the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination • Bad ass enough that most people just call her “Hillary” and everyone knows exactly who you’re talking about

“When life gives you lemons, #RunForOffice. Oh, and #VoteforVett2028.”

188

Why I love politics Despite the haters, the de-motivators, and the stats – I am going to work in politics and one day run for office. I’m currently working in my state’s governor’s office for a six month fellowship program where, every single day, I witness the inner workings of state government, observe politicians behind closed doors, and execute projects that have a direct impact on my community. Politicians have a bad rep, I get that. Some of it deserved, some of it…well, it’s not all a House of Cards episode. The world of politics also offers endless opportunities for advancement, an enormous network, a platform for changing societal issues, and a way to put your ideas into real, tangible action. Like many of my fellow Millenials, I want it all. But I’ve read enough biographies and news clips to know that I can’t have it all at once. I’ve learned during my fellowship how to balance political life (emails, events, photo ops, legislation, press conferences) with personal life (family, friends, visiting your hometown, taking non-work vacations, scheduling time off). Learning how to balance and executing that balancing act is the key to being a woman in politics who still has it all. I admire women in politics like Nikki Haley, Governor of South Carolina who has two young children. She makes a point to include her family in her work life by having her children visit her at the State Capitol and at events, but also reminds her staff and constituents that she is a wife and mother first and private family time is extremely important to her happiness and stability as a person and politician. As you consider careers that will allow you to provide for your family, have a family to provide for, take pride in your work, and create a reward far greater than any amount of money; consider the world of politics. Women are incredible business leaders, doctors, lawyers, engineers, and professors. So naturally, we’re incredible politicians. I’m doing it, and so can you.

When life gives you lemons, #RunForOffice. Oh, and #VoteforVett2028. Hey, when you’ve got the attention of the press, right? FOOTNOTES: Filibuster –one of the Senate’s most characteristic procedural features; includes any use of dilatory or obstructive tactics to block a measure by preventing it from coming to a vote. A Senator who seeks recognition usually has a right to the floor if no other Senator is speaking, and then may speak for as long as he or she wishes provided he/she does not leave the chamber, sit down, or stop speaking – among other rules. One Senator, Al D’Amato of New York, once read the phone book during a 23 hour 30 minute filibuster of a military spending bill in 1986. Senate Rule XXII, however, known as the “cloture rule,” enables Senators to end a filibuster on any debatable matter the Senate is considering. Cloture – The only procedure by which the Senate can vote to place a time limit on consideration of a bill or other matter, and thereby overcome a filibuster. Under the cloture rule (Rule XXII), the Senate may limit consideration of a pending matter to 30 additional hours, but only by vote of three-fifths of the full Senate, normally 60 votes. Definition provided by www.senate.gov

189

Before you press play... Something to think about prior to popping in your next romantic comedy BY: ALI VITALI @alivitali I love romantic comedies. I’m also 23, a young professional, and my idea of a great night in after a long day at work involves wine and a movie that doesn’t make my brain do too much work. That means when I get home I’m not rushing to turn on Dirty Wars - I want something mindless. Basically things haven’t changed much for me since my days of college SWUGdom.** So believe me when I say that it saddens me to break this to you: romantic comedies are doing wrong by us - and potentially in a very dangerous way. Think about the conversations that many in feminist and 20-something circles are having about the word “no.” Amazingly there is discussion on whether or not this word actually means what the dictionary says it means, so again I will reiterate right up front that “no” does in fact mean no. But it’s worth looking into why this is up for discussion. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you’ve seen 10 Things I Hate About You. A quick recap, on the off chance you slept through (the end of) the 90s: Heath Ledger (boy) meets Julia Stiles (girl). There’s the 190

standard plot about his ulterior motive to date her, which is of course a challenge because said girl is just not that into him. Like at all. She actually makes this quite clear on many occasions. But boy is persistent, and eventually she wisens up to the fact that she’s been wrong all along - he is the guy for her! Cue touching but upbeat Third Eye Blind song and roll credits. But let’s break this down. The entire plot functions on the basic premise that when Stiles’ character, Kat, says and shows that she’s not interested, what she really means is that she is interested, she’s just playing hard to get. In other words, she’s saying “no” but she’s not reallllly saying no. The rom-

com translator tells us that what she’s really saying is work harder. Do more. Sing a deliciously heart-warming rendition of Frankie Valle and The Four Seasons with high school band backup during soccer practice. Thing is, nothing that she’d done earlier in the film gave any indication that she wanted him to continue pursuing her. In fact, the first time that he asks her out she calls him “screwboy” and walks away. Maybe she didn’t literally use the word “no” but no one could watch that scene and think she was waffling on whether or not she was interested. (She wasn’t.) Instead, Ledger’s character, Patrick, waits around by her car while she’s in the CD store (LOL) and that conversation ends with her telling Ledger’s character “I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby” with very high levels of snark and sarcasm. Again,it’s almost impossible to miss the message: Go Away. But here’s where Hollywood comes in and sprinkles some magic on the situation. After Patrick follows Kat to a concert, she asks him “You never give up, do you?” Which is weird in and of itself because we, the viewers, know that he literally just stalked her to this concert, yet we’re fighting the conflicting feeling of “Aw, this is the turning point in their relationship. Yay!” Having just asked her out he asks “Was that a yes?” “No,” she says walking away. “Was it a no?” “No,” she says walking and smiling. So Kat, formerly very disinterested, has just lent credence to 191

the idea that if a guy continually pursues and disregards the many no’s that blocked his way, eventually he’ll get a “maybe” and, sooner or later, a “yes.” And that, my friends, is the problem. Because watch what happens when you take this mentality into the Real World. Boy meets girl. Girl isn’t interested. Girl expresses lack of interest. Boy pursues anyway. Girl, again, expresses a “no” sentiment. So the boy then stalks her around town, or - to take it out of the 90s and into today - texts her ceaselessly, or makes his status something about her, or messages her non-stop only to get no reply. What then? These are all varied ways of saying I’m not interested, leave me alone, or, in short, “no.” But rom-com culture says keep going. Eventually, guys, you’ll follow her to the indie rock show and she’ll laugh and say “maybe” which will surely turn into a “yes” if only you continue your pursuit.

ONE RAPE OR SEXUAL ASSAULT OCCURS EVERY 2 MINUTES IN THE U.S.

Or maybe let me put this into another, more personal, context. You tell a guy some polite variation of I’m not interested and then you spend the next two months being harassed via Facebook, then - once that’s blocked - via flowers sent to an office you never disclosed the location of, and then through continuous texts like “I’m not giving up on us.” Us?! Suddenly the constant pursuit and inability for “no” to mean no isn’t so romantic anymore, is it? In fact, it kind of sort of feels creepy -and a little like harassment. And the reactions of “But he sent flowers!” all but add to the idea that he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing: grand gestures! Flowers! I should “feel lucky someone likes you enough to send flowers” despite the fact that I’ve repeatedly asked to be left alone. 192

I once had someone say to me “What’s wrong with going after something I want?” And it’s this mentality that really spoke to me about how rom-com culture, without us even realizing it, has shaped what we consider the norm. Men are taught from the time they are boys, persevere, persist, don’t take “no” for an answer, show her how hard you’re willing to work and eventually she’ll come around. This isn’t done with bad intention, but has it ever dawned on rom-com writers, viewers, or people in general that maybe the women in these movies -- or that women in real life -- are capable of just genuinely not being interested? That when we say “no” the first time we get asked out, we actually mean no -not “try again with some larger gesture”? But the words this person used are also telling: he’s going after something he wants; not someone. The way I read this, women are objects to be obtained. Think about this: study hard, earn an A. Train hard, finish first in the race. Persevere past “no,” obtain the thing you want. It presupposes that if you do X (study, train, persevere), the immediate effect will be success. On tests and in races, sure. With people? That presumes the person you’re vying for has no will of their own. “No” means “maybe” culture, emboldened by films, TV shows, and pop culture in general, rewards hyper-perseverance in (generally) heterosexual relationships. Guys are conditioned to believe that “no” will eventually come to mean “yes” and girls are taught that maybe they should be reconsidering their no’s. Women are being conditioned to second-guess themselves because even in instances where we are direct -- “No, I’m not interested” -- there’s sometimes that twinge of “Well why didn’t he try again?” But more than being conditioned to think that we should be expecting a second push, a boombox overhead outside the window moment, we’re also perpetuating the norm/ idea that our initial statements are secondguessable; that we’re not saying what we mean or meaning what we say. So I guess we are back at the discussion of “no” culture. And that’s fine, because we can’t

conversations. Talking about rape and sexual assault and “no” and hook up culture is uncomfortable. It is the seedy underbelly of being a 20-something, but these are the kinds of things we can’t just close our eyes and wish away because it doesn’t make us feel good to talk about. And oftentimes talking about it means re-examining the cultural norms in our society that shape us -that means pop culture. And, for the purposes of this article, it meant rom coms. For others, it meant re-examining literature. I spoke about this article -and the personal events that led me to re-examine how we’re conditioned to pursue our romantic relationships -- with a friend and co-worker and she likened rom-com’s “no” means maybe culture to Jane Austen. When Elizabeth refuses Mr. Collins proposal he can’t accept the she really is saying no:

Source: Project Unbreakable.

talk about this enough. Especially when statistics like this exist: + According to SaferCampus.Org, 20- 25% of college women (18-24) will be victims of sexual assault during college + The DOJ National Crime Victimization Survey says there’s an average of 207,754 victims of sexual assault and rape each year. + Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network did the math. Here’s what they found: about one rape or sexual assault occurs every two minutes in the United States. But there is a silver lining: we’re making progress. According to RAINN, sexual assaults have fallen by more than 60% compared to 1993 figures. Which means we need to keep having these

“You are too hasty, Sir,” [Elizabeth] cried. “You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without farther loss of time. Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me, I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them.” “I am not now to learn,” replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, “that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.” “Upon my word, Sir,” cried Elizabeth, “your hope is rather an extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure 193

you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal. -- You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who would make you so…” Elizabeth stands to leave, only to be interrupted by Mr. Collins: “When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on this subject I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have now given me; though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present, because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application, and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character.” “Really, Mr. Collins,’’ cried Elizabeth with some warmth, “you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its being one.” So it would seem Ledger and Stiles were not the first to function on these assumptions -- and they definitely won’t be the last. This isn’t just a 20-something problem. This isn’t a solely one gender (female) problem. It’s not just something we need to talk about for heterosexual relationships - although that’s often what we see depicted in mainstream pop culture and media. This is an everyone issue. I’m not asking you to swear off romantic comedies -- or Jane Austen! -- though I’m sure if any male readers are still with me to this point they’re giving a little fist bump because I may have just gotten them out of their fifth time watching The Notebook. No, I’m asking you to push back on the things you accept as normal. When you see something you don’t like, or an assumed norm is applied to you, push back on it. Ask yourself “Why is this happening?” I’m not 194

saying you’ll always find an answer, but you may. When a guy recently crossed the line in his pursuit of me, I laid awake some nights thinking “why does he think this is OK?” I don’t think it’s because he took his tips from 90s Heath Ledger. Or maybe he did. I don’t know and I don’t care. But there’s a reason why boys grow into men who think that one “no” does not necessarily stand in the way of an eventual “yes.” And now that we’re identifying the causes, maybe we can get down to changing the effects. ____________________________________

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ali is a 20-something digital journalist living in Manhattan. She will never forget the day one very passionate professor at Tulane University told her to “push back on” and deconstruct social norms to better understand bias, sexuality, race, and gender. Nearly two years later and it’s still some of the best advice she’s ever been given. NOTES: **A SWUG, or Senior Washed Up Girl, connotes any senior individual of the female persuasion who’s more interested in staying in with her girlfriends, wine, and occasionally sushi instead of going out only to be disappointed by the same guys who would rather hook up with freshman and the same scene that they once used to rule. Or, as New York Mag put it: “Women who don’t bother dressing up for class, or even for fancy parties (though they might still attend them), don’t seek out meaningful (or even just sexual) relationships, spend weekends at their shared homes drinking in the company of other self-identified SWUGs, and feel utter apathy about their personal lives — all at the age of 21.”

What’s in our beauty bag this season?

Metal Foil Eye Shadow Stay All Day// “Scarlett” Vinyl Lip Gloss// Color Correcting Cream// High Shine Liquid Vinyl// Masterpiece Eye & Cheek Palette// Custom Color Blush//Convertible Color Gladiola (orange)// Countless Color Pigment//Afterglow Lip Color// In The Garden Palette// Major Major Mascara// Stay All Day Bronzer// Shimmer Luminizer// elegant trio lip glaze// Color Balm Lipstick

195

Jacket: Jbrand

Facebook

Google+

Twitter

Flipboard

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest 196