SWFL Parent & Child - January 2019 by SWFL Parent & Child Magazine

S W F L PA R E N T C H I L D. C O M

JANUARY 2019

Healthy Children Healthy Families Let Our Family Take Care of Your Family

Well child checkups Appointments available 7 days a week Same day “sick” appointments Vaccinations Teen wellness Reach Out and Read participant

www.ppcswfl.com | 239.275.5522

Color the PPC Pals, then bring them into your doctor’s office where we will display them, or use to decorate in your own home.

Physician-Owned. Patient-Centered

www.ppcswfl.com | 239.275.5522 SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 3

• Over 90 stores, restaurants and services • Family friendly events monthly, watch website for updates

• Girls and Boys Recreational Classes • Birthday Parties & Bounce House • Toddler & Friday Night Open Gym for members & non-members • Girls Competitive Team • Ballet Classes for ages 5-14 • Cheer Tumbling Classes • Toddler and Parent & Child Gymnastics • Valentine’s Day Parents night out “Drop the kids off with us and have a parents night out!”

• Children’s Play Area at Market Plaza

2019 New Year’s New Member Specials

Classes coming soon!

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8570 Cypress Lake Drive, Fort Myers, FL 33919 • 239.433.2232 www.brightbeginnings.online • brightbeginningsearlyschool@gmail.com 4 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

contents »

swfl

parent&child

31 49

Features 31 be the voice An anti-bullying program at Lehigh Senior Is getting attention

In Every Issue 9

33 painful separation

45 safety corner

19 single parenting

39 say cheese

Could your child be vaping?

Starting out on the single parent path

Get tips from the region’s professional photographers for that perfect family photo

49 travel

20 in the kitchen

Find the cowboy way at this dude ranch in Central Florida

Recipes for delicious homemade salad dressings

On the cover During a family photo session, Stella and Eden Luce, 5, and Ayrton Luce, 7, sprawled out on the grass for a fun shot.

PHOTO BY AMANDA INSCORE

Older kids are loving Defy Fort Myers

How to get kids more active

How to sign up for school and deal with the stress

.COM

Trolleys can be great family fun

29 teens

17 ask the expert

35 school choice

ENTCHILD

27 kid stuff

One unique resolution: Make a new family tradition

A North Naples dad is deported, leaving his family to struggle without him

S W F L PA R

a mother’s view

JANUARY

2019

57 voices

23 dining out

Mental health catches the eye of Naples Winter Wine Fest

Alpine Restaurant in Naples

25 youth sports

58 a father’s view

How best to communicate with a coach

College madness is never the same twice

Other Departments 7 8 11 13

editor’s note online me time fyi

46 family album 52 around town 53 calendar

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 5

FREE PRESCHOOL Early Learning Coalition of SWFL can help your family with Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten If you live in Florida & your child turns 4 YEARS OLD by September 1, your child is eligible for the VPK program. Some 5 year olds are also eligible. For more information & to register your child: FamilyServicesFloridaEarlyLearning.com

www.elcofswfl.org Serving Collier, Glades, Hendry & Lee Counties | (239) 935-6100

6 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

Help Your Child Learn AN EYE ON THE FUTURE Make an appointment today. Your future suddenly became a whole lot clearer. A child’s learning disabilities can be caused by vision related problems, even if the child has 20/20 vision. Visit EyeDocks.com to watch a video about Vision Therapy.

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parent &child

editor's note »

swfl

S W F L PA R E N T C H I L D. C O M

Part of the USA TODAY Network

Volume 20, Issue 1 Dedicated to serving the families of Lee and Collier counties 2442 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Fort Myers, FL 33901 swflparentchild.com President & Publisher William R. Barker General Manager Kathryn Robinson Kinsey kathryn@swflparentchild.com Editor Pamela Smith Hayford (239) 335-0448 pamela@swflparentchild.com Art Director Lindi Daywalt-Feazel

Editorial Contributors Deborah Comella, Echo Copeland, Jim Dwyer, Maria Jimenez-Lara, Randy Kambic, Kira Lewis, Ann M. O’Phelan, Christine McConnelee, Janis B. Meredith, Shelby Reynolds, Andrea Stetson, Leigh Tahirovic Photographer Amanda Inscore Vice President/Advertising Sales Nancy M. Solliday Specialty Publications Team Coordinator Dennis Wright dennis@swflparentchild.com Advertising Account Executive Nicole Holey (239) 281-6455 nholey@fortmyer.gannett.com

Distribution (239) 335-0211 Southwest Florida Parent & Child is a FREE publication distributed at more than 500 locations throughout Southwest Florida by The News-Press Media Group. All rights reserved. We make every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information published but cannot be held responsible for any consequences arising from omissions or errors. Any opinions expressed by writers and advertisers are not necessarily opinions of the magazine or publisher.

Hit reset

Every new year brings a sense of starting anew, an opportunity to hit the reset button on how we eat, how we play, how we manage our money, how we live our lives. It brings hope and new ideas, promises to ourselves that we’ll do better. My husband and I made a goal to take a family photo over the school winter break. With this month’s main feature about how to take the best family photos (starting on page 39), I tried to find a recent family photo of me and my family, or at least a group selfie. No such luck. I don’t think we’ve taken a family photo in years. It’s a common problem for us. I usually shrug it off as the “cobbler’s kids phenomenon,” from the saying that the cobbler’s kids are the last to get shoes because the cobbler is busy making shoes for The closest my little clan has to a family photo in the last everyone else. My husyear or more is this one I snapped on my husband’s birthday band is a photographer. in December. From right, there’s our daughter, Riley, You do the math. HopeStephen and our son, Logan, who is holding dog No. 2, Luna. Not shown: me and Cosmo. fully putting this in writing holds us accountable. If you’ve made a fitness resolution this year, we’ve got some great finds to help you stay on track (page 11), delicious recipes for homemade salad dressing (page 20) and tips from the executive director of Girls on the Run of Southwest Florida for motivating kids to get active. Plus, we’ve got some tips to help you through school choice (page 35), lots of family events and much more. We hope you enjoy and allow yourself to hit the reset button in the new year.

Member of

Pamela Smith Hayford, Editor Contact us: We enjoy hearing from you. Send your photos, letters or comments to: pamela@swflparentchild.com. Or visit us online:

swflparentchild.com

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 7

» online Get SWFL Parent & Child anywhere at any time

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Our list of places where kids eat free (or nearly free) is now a permanent, but updateable part of our website. Find it in the drop-down menu under Food or go directly to swflparentchild.com/search/location/where-kids-eat-free.

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2. Scroll to the bottom of the menu and select “Settings” then “News Feed Preferences” (iPhone) or simply “News Feed Preferences” (Android). 4. Select “Prioritize who to

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Parent & Child magazine is available in its entirety online along with back issues, too. Just visit swflparentchild.com and scroll to the bottom of the page.

Kira Lewis of Cape Coral is mom to two children, a writer and founder of calmandchaosmama.com and sunshineandhurricanes.com.

a mother’s view » K IR A LE WIS

Little rituals mean a lot

hen I was a little girl, Sundays were daddy-daughter day. My mother got the opportunity to sleep in, and I got my dad to myself for a whole morning. We would wake up early, and Dad would make me his famous brown sugar toast, which to this day is about the only thing my dad knows how to cook. Next, we’d curl up on the couch and watch old movies like Shirley Temple, Abbot and Costello and The Three Stooges. If the day was nice, he’d also take me to the nearby duck pond to feed the ducks. This tradition had started so early that my first word was actually “guckie,” as this was one of my favorite activities. But the BEST part of our Sunday morning tradition was that my dad would take me to the local 7-Eleven and let me pick out three of my favorite candies. Whatever I wanted, even those sugar dippers that my mom absolutely hated. To this day, some of my fondest memories are of this time that I spent with my father. And yes, once my little brother came along, he joined in our weekly ritual, but I didn’t even mind too much. Now, my family also had many other traditions that I loved. We always

made Christmas cookies together at the holidays using my grandmother’s famous cut-out recipe. We took a family vacation every summer up to northern Michigan right on the lake, where we’d go cherry picking and do other very Michigander-type activities. And during the wintertime, we’d often spend Friday nights in front of the fire playing Monopoly or Scrabble. None of these traditions were particularly grand, but I loved them. The repetition and the routine brought a certain kind of comfort to my life and reinforced my sense of family and belonging. This is why, now that I have my own kids, I’ve tried to create some of our own family traditions. But I’ll admit, it feels harder in today’s world. Life is more hectic, schedules are fuller and now that my kids are getting older they are a little less enthusiastic. However, I think for all these reasons, traditions are that much more important. Families are losing their connections, and that isn’t good for our kids. No matter how they may protest, that time is important. It is how we as parents stay informed about what is going on in our kids’ lives. It’s their opportunity to open up to us and let us know what they are struggling with or to share their triumphs and let us celebrate with them. And one day, it will mean something

to them, just like my Sundays with my dad still bring a smile to my face. Traditions don’t have to be elaborate or expensive. In fact, many times the simpler they are the better. That makes them easier to maintain and honestly, amid all today’s chaos, simplicity can be welcome change for our children. In our family, we typically make Fridays pizza and a movie night. Every summer, we spend at least a week in Michigan (since my husband is from there, too). And during the holidays, just like when I was little, we make cookies using my Grandma’s famous cut-out recipe. We’ve had a few other traditions along the way that the kids have outgrown, and that’s OK. Traditions can change or adapt to your changing life. And there are certainly seasons of life where we are better about keeping up with these traditions. And you want to know who notices the most when this happens and who often help get them back on track? My kids. Now that we’ve started a new year, maybe your family has some traditions that have gotten pushed aside due to busy schedules or for countless other reasons. Consider using this fresh start to bring those traditions back or even to create some new ones. You may just find that they become some of the best memories you make with your kids.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 9

NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

MAKE A DIFFERENCE

IN YOUR CHILD'S FUTURE JOIN US FOR AN OPEN HOUSE January 8 at 8:30 a.m. TO REGISTER, please visit our website or call 239.415.8945 www.canterburyfortmyers.org

Class of 2018

636

SAT Total:

1275

Math: Reading: & Writing

636 639

531

493

475

TEST SCORES

515

Math 28

ACT

TEST SCORES English:

Canterbury School

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Composite: 27

1275

639

English

990

531

Reading & Writing

19 19

522

19 19

Math

Reading

1068

Total

27 21 21 21

1014

19 19

Science

20 20

Composite

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me time »

EASY PEASY Keep that New Year’s fitness resolution fun and fashionable with these great finds.

No muss, no fuss Keep it real We know the real reason you’re at the gym is to be able to consume more tacos and other fine foods. And Ban.do knows it, too. That’s why they’ve created the Work It Out gym bag — equal parts foodie and fitness. It also features comfy straps and a place to thread your earbuds through. $35 at bando.com

The YoYo Mats self-rolling yoga mat has thin steal bands that roll the mat up with only a little click from you. And when rolled out, it stays flat.Now we’re talking Zen. $80 at anthropologie.com.

Your everything tracker

NIGHT

DATE

If you like your Fitbit, you’ll love the new Fitbit Charge 3. The screen brightness automatically adjusts, so it’s easier to see in different light. The battery lasts seven days instead of five. It’s swimproof, helps you track ovulation, features Fitbit Pay and does the dishes. OK, not that last one, but it does a lot of other stuff. $149.95 at fitbit.com.

Swell swig of water A lot of thought went into this water bottle to make hydrating easier — and stylish. The S’well Echo has a drink-through cap and comfortable grip. $40 at swellbottle.com.

Get your steps in and have a fun night at the Headpinz Entertainment Center in Fort Myers. New in the VIP area: HyperBowling, where you aim for colored targets for more points. Plus, the center has a ropes course for all ages and other fun attractions. Be sure to make time for dinner and drinks at Nemo’s Sports Bistro onsite. Get details at headpinz.com.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 11

MIROMAR OUTLETS

BEST FACTORY OUTLET MALL, BEST SHOPPING EXPERIENCE AND BEST PLACE TO BUY SHOES IN SOUTHWEST FLORIDA VOTED THE

ROCK CLIMBING FUNWALLS NOW OPEN Party packages available at MiromarOutlets.com/play or (239) 948-3766. AMAZING THINGS 5-D MOTION THEATER Suite 323, (239) 262-9464 Lights, camera … you’re in the action! Check out MiromarOutlets.com/play or call (239) 948-3766.

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NATIONAL ANTHEM AUDITIONS Saturday, January 12 1 to 3 p.m. near Bloomingdale’s The Outlet Store Winners sing the Anthem at a 2019 Minnesota Twins Spring Training game.

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MOMS APPRECIATION DAY Wednesday, January 16 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. PLAYLAND in Free treats for moms while their children have fun at Kids Crafts.

SAVE UP TO 70% OFF RETAIL PRICES! Over 140 Top Designer and Brand Name Outlets 0119-2483

12 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

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*DOES NOT APPLY TO DOWN PAYMENT, CANNOT BE USED IN CONJUNCTION WITH INSURANCE. THE PATIENT OR ANY OTHER PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYMENT HAS A RIGHT TO REFUSE TO PAY, CANCEL PAYMENT, OR BE REIMBURSED FOR PAYMENT FOR ANY OTHER SERVICE, EXAMINATION, OR TREATMENT THAT IS PERFORMED A RESULT OF AND WITHIN 72 HOURS OF RESPONDING TO THE ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE FREE, DISCOUNTED FEE, OR REDUCED FEE SERVICE, EXAMINATION OR TREATMENT. DR. GALLO LIC.# DN20050, LIC.# DN12135. EXPIRES 2/1/19. MAIN STREET CHILDREN’S DENTISTRY & ORTHODONTICS COMPLIES WITH APPLICABLE FEDERAL CIVIL RIGHTS LAWS AND DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE ON THE BASIS OF RACE, COLOR, NATIONAL ORIGIN, AGE, DISABILITY, OR SEX. ATENCIÓN: SI HABLA ESPAÑOL, TIENE A SU DISPOSICIÓN SERVICIOS GRATUITOS DE ASISTENCIA LINGÜÍSTICA. LLAME AL 1-(888-764-5399) OFFICE NUMBER OR REGIONAL NUMBER (TTY: 1-(888-764-5399) OFFICE NUMBER OR REGIONAL NUMBER). ATANSYON: SI W PALE KREYÒL AYISYEN, GEN SÈVIS ÈD POU LANG KI DISPONIB GRATIS POU OU. RELE 1-888-764-5399 (TTY: 1- (888-764-5399).

DOG DAZE AT MIROMAR Thursday, January 3 6 p.m. near the Restaurant Piazza HARRY CHAPIN Make it a date with your dog and HUNGER WALK enjoy pet-friendly specials and Saturday, January 19 at 8:30 a.m. entertainment. PLAYLAND near FRIDAY NIGHT Teams walk two miles around the CONCERT SERIES mall to raise funds for the Harry Every Friday, 6 to 9 p.m. in the Chapin Food Bank. Restaurant Piazza FAMILY YOGA WITH KATHRYN January 4: Electric Lipstick January 11: The Collaboration Band Saturday, January 19 PLAYLAND 10 a.m. in January 18: Ex-Bachelors A FREE 45-minute beginners’ yoga January 25: Neon Summer class, for families with toddlers to LIVE ENTERTAINMENT tweens. Bring your own mat. Saturdays from 1 to 7 p.m. & KIDS DAY Sundays from 2 to 5 p.m. Saturday, January 26 CAR CRUISE-IN 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. Sunday, January 6 PLAYLAND in 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Toddlers to 12-year-olds participate near PLAYLAND in fun activities and receive food See all your favorite makes and freebies. While supplies last. models of classic and custom cars. SWFL BIG BAND SCIENCE SATURDAY Sunday, January 27 Saturday, January 12 3 to 5 p.m. near the 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Restaurant Piazza in PLAYLAND Enjoy listening to music from the Kids learn by participating in interactive science projects. Big Band era.

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fyi »

The Moose brings Ninja challenge to P.E. classes

Amid the chaos of 150 kids playing on Diplomat Elementary School's playground in Cape Coral, Morgan Wright flits around two sets of monkey bars, eagerly encouraging the kids. As a fifth-grade girl swings across the bars, he urges, "You got this, baby girl!" Then he bursts into R. Kelly's triumphant "I Believe I Can Fly." It's an atmosphere of motivation the "American Ninja Warrior" competitor and P.E. teacher, 44, imbues into his Kids Ninja Fitness program, a kid-friendly version of the popular extreme obstacle course show. While the students work toward certificates in events like monkey bars, push-ups and running, they try to beat their own records and become ninja warriors, just like their coach. The program has spread to about 45 other schools across the country, says Wright, also known as Moose for the hat he wears in competition. Information about the program is free on the website, and he wants other P.E. coaches to use it, so they can make fitness fun for kids. “It's not the Olympics,” he says. “It's P.E. It should be fun."

Pro player tapped to lead kids' lacrosse league The Collier County Lacrosse Association — a nonprofit league for boys ages 5-14 — hired former professional lacrosse player Brett Queener to be its director of player development. In his 10 years with Premier Lacrosse League and Florida Launch, he was an allstar for six years, won two world lacrosse titles and broke several records. He’ll be coaching the spring season, which runs January 7 to April 27 (registration is open through January 7). Brett is also the head coach of the varsity lacrosse team at Gulf Coast High School. For more about CCLA, visit collierlax.com.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 13

« fyi

(continued)

Golisano named Top Hospital again For the third year, the Golisano Children’s Hospital of Southwest Florida has been named a Top Children’s Hospital by The Leapfrog Group. Only 13 children’s hospitals in the U.S. have earned the designation. The Golisano Children’s Hospital moved from HealthPark Medical Center to a new standalone facility in 2017.

Lee Health opens first ER in Estero South Lee County families now have an emergency room nearby — or more accurately, an emergency department. In December, Lee Health opened the county’s first freestanding emergency department at Coconut Road and Via Cocnut Point, south of Coconut Point Mall in Estero. The 163,500-square-foot facility provides 24hour emergency care.

Parents of teens with special needs gain new resource Turning 18 can be a challenging time for parents of teens with developmental disabilities. To help families learn about their legal options, the Florida Justice Technology Center and attorney Michelle Kenney and her firm, GAPS Legal, created an online resource to help parents learn about their legal options. “Turning18.org walks users through their legal options step-bystep so they can identify the option best suited to their soon-to-be adult child,” says Brandon Thomas, FJTC’s website developer on the project. “We designed it to be similar to a guided, in-person interview.” The site then directs users to resources including the local Clerk of Court and the FloridaLawHelp.org Find a Lawyer page, where they can find local legal aid organizations, the Florida Bar’s Lawyer Referral Service and other legal services options.

Education Champions to be honored Champions For Learning, the education foundation in Collier County, announced who it will honor at its annual Night of Champions event February 1 at the Naples Grande Beach Resort. The event recognizes key people in the community for their contributions to helping students succeed. This year’s Champions are Ingrid and Fabrizio Aielli, Stacy and Todd Bradley, Corky and Chuck Carlsen, Yolanda Flores, the Florida Prepaid College Foundation, Mary Lynn Hill, Sharon Hood, Charles Kerwood III, Mike Martin, Dawna E. Pipersburg, Steve Pontius and Carol Windfeldt.

Second Lexi Lop book available soon Get ready for Easter with the new Lexi Lop book. Written by SW FL Parent & Child writer Andrea Stetson, the new book follows Lexi as she tries to collect as many colorful eggs as possible to win a prize for free ice cream for a year. She finds out there are better ways to be a winner. Get details at lexilop.com (use friendsofLexi in the coupon code for a $2 discount).

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SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 15

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Christine McConnelee is the executive director of Girls on the Run of Southwest Florida, a nonprofit group that helps girls develop self-esteem and confidence through running, gotrswfl.org.

ask the expert »

CHR ISTINE McCONNELEE

Getting kids active

Girls on the Run director offers tips for motivating kids to get moving

hile most of us are making our annual New Year’s resolutions to lose weight and eat healthier, hundreds of young girls throughout Southwest Florida have already committed to exercise regularly, make better food choices and feed their minds through positive thoughts. Christine McConnelee, executive director of Girls on the Run of Southwest Florida, shares tips on how all parents can motivate their kids to get moving.

A previous Girls on the Run event

Q: First, what is Girls on the Run? A: Well, I’ll start off by emphasizing that we are not an after-school running program. While running is indeed a part of Girls on the Run, as our name implies, our program is designed to help girls ages 8-13 find their inner strength, embrace differences, express joy, nurture physical health and encourage healthy choices. Our 10-week curriculum begins with helping students gain a better understanding of themselves — who they are and what is important to them. The lessons then shift toward teaching girls to navigate life experiences such as troubled friendships, pressures at school and challenges at home. And finally, we teach the importance of giving back through thoughtful actions. Our program is taught by volunteers, primarily teachers, parents and community members who have an interest in inspiring girls to be their best.

Q: How did you get involved with the program? A: I first learned about the program while visiting my nieces in Michigan. My family talked about the positive experience their children had after participating in Girls on the Run at their school. When I returned home to Naples, I started researching to see if there were similar programs in Southwest Florida. I found plenty of after-school sports teams, which are great, but I couldn’t find any programs that focused on physical activity plus mental health. So, I set out to start a local council for Girls on the Run in Collier County. Just six years later, we are in 40 program sites in Collier, Lee, Charlotte and DeSoto counties.

Q: What changes have you seen in girls before and after the program? A: I have personally delivered the curriculum many times over the years, and every time, there are girls who just capture my heart. One of the most memorable experiences I had as a coach was with a third-grader. When she came to us, she was losing friends and her grades were dropping. Sadly, I learned that her parents were going through a nasty divorce. I took her aside one day, and she told me that she felt like a black cloud was always over her head. Her father was verbally abusive and even called her fat. It broke my heart. The other coaches and I worked carefully with

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 17

« ask the expert (continued)

this girl to build up her confidence and to focus on her strengths. Over time, we started to see her coming out of her shell and engaging with the other girls. Toward the end of the program, the girl took the coaches aside and said, “I want to thank you for helping me. I don’t feel like that black cloud is over my head anymore.” With tears in my eyes, I knew that this program was indeed changing lives. Q: Tell us about the physical training part of your program. A: We start by teaching the importance of stretching and warming up, then our coaches incorporate a variety of fun physical games to encourage the girls to get moving. Over the 10 weeks, we build strength and endurance in preparation for our season-ending 5K. Girls may walk or run the 5K. Either way, we just encourage our participants to set goals and experience what it is like to cross the finish line. Q: What advice do you have for other parents to get their kids to participate in physical activities? A: Talk with your children and be involved. It’s so easy to allow your kids to play on electronic devices while you are busy doing other things. But I encourage everyone to engage with their kids. Invite your children to help you cook dinner. Take 10-minute walks as a family. Encourage your kids to join a school sports team. Do small exercises during evening television commercials. Most importantly, lead by example. A family that makes healthy choices is more likely to instill healthy habits that will last a lifetime. EDITOR’S NOTE: To learn more about enrolling, volunteering or donating to Girls on the Run, visit gotrswfl. org or email Christine.McConnelee@girlsontherun.org.

ASK THE EXPERT We welcome questions from readers. Ask us anything. We’ll find the answer. Send your question to editor@swflparentchild.com with “Ask the Expert” in the subject line.

18 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

single parenting »

Echo Copeland is a single mom who lives in Southwest Florida.

ECHO COPEL A ND

Beginning AGAIN

‘B

roken” is probably the word I would have chosen at that time. After all, he was the first man I married, the only one I married. I waited until the month I turned 30 to tie the knot. I had quite a few milestones that August in 2004. After traveling and doing almost everything I wanted to do with my life, I decided it was time. I built a home, bought property and traveled. My 20s were full of experiences, albeit I didn’t become the neurosurgeon I had dreamed of becoming. I felt I did enough that now I could settle down. We were only together for a short time before getting married. Then two years later, we planned my lovely daughter. When she was born, we felt she would solidify our bond, and for a while, she did. Unfortunately, life brought us to two forks in our proverbial road. We each decided to take a different route, and the rest is history. For some of you, the wounds

are still fresh. You may have just started the process to end your marriage. Perhaps you just found out your fiancé is leaving you with three kids to care for. Or suddenly, the title “single parent” has been harshly thrust upon you with the death of your wife. A new year dawns, and you’re feeling pain like you never felt or dreamt of in your most heinous of nightmares. You used to shudder at the thought of your single friends, those poor souls forced to raise children in a oneparent household. You felt blessed to have two parents raising your children. “Never me!” That’s what you said. I know, I thought so, too. One thing I have learned is that I can only count on one person, me — and God. And so, although the title may hurt you, that is what you are now. Cry your tears, grieve your loss of love and the way things used to be. Pick yourself up and be strong. You’re in a new exclusive club now, complete with its pros

and cons, like everything in this fleeting life. If you don’t believe in God, I recommend joining this bandwagon. You are going to need Him more than you ever taught possible. Embrace your singleness and work hard and diligently to ensure custody, child support and plans are in place to promote the best transition for your kiddos. I would warn that forgiveness needs to be on the top of your list, so your children have the best chance at happiness in this new phase of your wonderful new beginning. I can tell you it does get easier. I begin the sixth year of this column, and the sixth year since I divorced. This forum has become such a blessing to me. It’s the resource I wish I had during my transition from married woman to single momma. I pray it will be a blessing to you, too. You’re not alone. No, never alone. God bless. Happy New Year. Believe it or not, it can still be an amazingly happy new year.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 19

in the kitchen »

SHELBY R E Y NOLDS

DRESS UP YOUR

SALADS

Resolving to eat healthier in 2019? Dress up your salads with these homemade dressings.

have a love-hate relationship with salads. I love to order them at restaurants. The quality is always fresh, with a delightful crunch in every vegetable. But I hate to make them at home. I can never keep my spinach from wilting into a stinky, black goop after more than two days in the refrigerator, and I can never find a salad dressing that isn’t too sweet, too tangy or too runny. In 2019, we’re inevitably going to vow to eat healthier in the new year, and we’re inevitably going to break that promise as soon as a colleague brings a dozen doughnuts into the office a few weeks in. It’s a yearly cycle that I will

20 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

never, never, never fully conquer. But while I’m still kidding myself in these first few days of the year, I’m going to at least try my best. Salads have always been an easy packed lunch for me. I can pile it all together in a giant Tupperware the night before or the morning of and feel good about what I’m eating. I have learned a few tricks to keep my salads fresh, healthy and convenient: » Place a paper towel or two inside your bagged or boxed lettuce to help soak up moisture and keep it from wilting. » Chop your veggies as soon as you’re finished grocery shopping, so you have less prep work to do later in the week.

» Make your own dressing. That last one has been big for me. I realized that store-bought, bottled dressing had perpetuated my distaste for salads that I prepared myself. Who wants to eat a salad that’s doused in a cloyingly sweet vinaigrette? And as much as I wish I was one of those people who enjoys eating raw veggies, I’m certainly not going to eat a bowl of kale without

something to spice it up. I like to make my dressings in a glass mason jar with an air-tight lid. It’s simple: Add your ingredients and shake really, really hard. Each of these recipes makes about one cup of dressing, which will last me two or three salads. Store your jars of dressing in the fridge for a couple weeks but use the dairy-based ones within a week.

Get a fresh start on your New Year’s resolutions with three dressing recipes: SHERRY SHALLOT DRESSING One of my go-to take-out salad places has always been McAlister’s Deli; it’s close to the office, OK? I love McAlister’s Savannah chopped salad so much, with its gorgonzola cheese, cranberries and honey-roasted almonds, that I decided to make my own copy-cat version. Sometimes I substitute gorgonzola with feta or blue cheese crumbles and candied pecans or walnuts for the almonds. But my most favorite part of this salad is the sherry shallot dressing. There’s a hint of sweetness and a light viscosity that I really enjoy. It’s become my new balsamic. I suggest making this dressing ahead to time so that shallot flavors break down in the vinegar.

o re m t n Wa s? re c i p e

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INGREDIENTS • 1 shallot, minced • ½ cup sherry or red wine vinegar • ½ cup olive oil • 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard • 1 tablespoon honey • Pinch of salt and pepper• 1 tablespoon baking powder • ½ teaspoon salt » CONTINUED ON PAGE 22

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 21

» in the kitchen (continued)

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GREEK YOGURT RANCH DRESSING This is my go-to dressing for a Tex-Mex-inspired salad topped with corn, black beans, chopped tomatoes and slices of avocado. It’s also great on a Greek salad with feta and black olives. I also grab this when I have a craving for fat-filled ranch dressing. Instead of reaching for that bottle of Hidden Valley, whip up this recipe instead when you need something to pair with a slice of pizza — only on cheat days, though, right? For this one you’ll need a food processor, unless you like a chunkier dressing. INGREDIENTS • ½ cup nonfat, plain Greek yogurt • ¼ cup nonfat buttermilk • 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard • Juice of half a lemon • ¼ cup parsley, minced • 2 tablespoons chives, minced • 1 teaspoon onion powder • 1 teaspoon garlic powder • Pinch of salt and pepper

LEMON VINAIGRETTE This is perhaps the most versatile salad dressing in my repertoire. I like it best drizzled over salads with fruit (strawberries, blueberries and apples) and even as a marinade for chicken or shrimp. It’s tangy, bright and super simple.

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INGREDIENTS • ½ cup olive oil • Zest and juice of 1 lemon • 1 tablespoon honey • 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard • Pinch of salt and pepper

dining out »

Goulash, strudel and more Alpine Restaurant offers traditional Eastern European foods. BY ANDREA STETSON

hen we visited the Czech Republic years ago, we asked a local where he went to eat. We never chose to eat in the touristy places by the town square. We were directed to a small restaurant on a side street that was filled with locals and no tourists. The food was so good, we came back the following night. We had similar authentic food recently in Naples at Alpine Restaurant. The menu there features classic German, Slovak, Czech, Polish and Hungarian meals. All are made from scratch, so there’s a bit of a wait, but it is worth it. I had the knedlo vepro zelo ($15.95 at lunch, $19.95 dinner), which is a traditional Czech food. It features roast pork served with fluffy dumplings and caramelized cabbage. My husband munched on the classic goulash ($14.95 lunch, $19.95 dinner). It was a mixture of beef and pork with vegetables, paprika and other seasoning along with steamed dumplings. Customers can have homemade spaetzle, a type of pasta, or mashed potatoes instead of the dumplings. My daughter enjoyed the wiener schnitzel ($14.95 lunch, $19.95 dinner), breaded pork tenderloin paired with red cabbage. She chose spaetzle to go with it. “This is the best cabbage,” she said as she dipped another forkful of the red cabbage into her mouth. The menu features an assortment of soups, salads, sandwiches and specialties. There’s also a European-style brunch option. The kids’ menu gives youngsters a taste of Eastern Europe in a child-friendly way. There is fried cheese with fries, the kids’ schnitzel, which is breaded pork loin with fries or mashed potatoes, or kids’ classic goulash. The goulash is beef and pork, blended in vegetables, with authentic seasonings. It is served with either steamed dumplings, homemade spaetzle or mashed potatoes.

Alpine Restaurant » Location: 2355 Vanderbilt Beach Road, Naples » Phone: 239-325-9499 » Online: alpineofnaples.com

For dessert: apple strudel, cherry rum balls, chocolate cake, vanilla rolls, Marlenka honey cake and plum or poppy seed crumble cake. Inside Alpine the walls are adorned with large photos of the scenic, snow-covered mountains and green valleys of Eastern Europe. Outside additional tables are clustered on a patio near a fountain.

» Hours: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. lunch, 5 to 9 p.m. dinner, Tuesday-Sunday; closed Mondays » Price Range: $5.50$19.95 » Kids’ menu: Fried cheese, schnitzel, classic goulash, spaetzli ($8.50 to $11.95)

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 23

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A nonprofit organization.

Janis B. Meredith, a parenting coach, was a coach’s wife for 29 years and sports mom for 22 years. She lives in Alva, where she writes about raising champions on JBMThinks.com.

youth sports »

JA NIS B. MER EDIT H

How to communicate with the coach

’m a firm believer in the importance of communication, and youth sports is one place that could use a good dose of healthy interaction. It’s important for parents to communicate with the coach (and vice versa). First, stay on topics relevant to the situation. Avoid complaining about playing time, position issues and coaching strategies. On the other hand, do be diligent when it comes to communicating information that the coach needs to hear, such as medical issues, why a child isn’t at practice, if a player is struggling with studies or any emotional issues that might affect their play. These simple guidelines will help you build a good relationship with your child’s coach: » Use their preferred means of communication. Whether it’s a text, email or a call, everybody has a favorite way to stay in touch. Instead of assuming that everyone reads their email and getting frustrated when you get no response or wondering why they don’t answer your text, find out how they want to be contacted. » Keep them informed of issues that will affect your child’s performance. Illness, missing practices or games, family difficulties, bullying and other emotional struggles will affect your child’s attitude. Although not every coach seems to care about this, they should

because youth sports is about developing children as players AND people. » Don’t feel bad about reminders. Coaches are busy and often forgetful, so don’t hesitate to remind them that your child is missing practice today, even though you may have told them last week. Better for them to be reminded than to have them forget and wonder why your child didn’t show up for the game. On the rare occasion when parents feel they absolutely must talk to the coach about playing time or position issues, approach with questions rather than accusations. Schedule an appointment away from the eyes of other parents. And always let the coach know you support them, even if you don’t always agree. When it comes to youth sports coaches and parents, avoid any us-vs.-them mentality. Parents and coaches should be on the same team for the sake of the kids, and healthy communication from parents is a positive step in that direction.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 25

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GETTY IMAGES

kid stuff »

HOP

ON A

TROLLEY

They’re quaint vehicles that get visitors from Point A to Point B,

but they’re also a lot of fun for kids. BY ANDREA STETSON

rolleys aren’t just for transportation. With their open windows, clanging bells and knowledgeable drivers, they can be a fun experience for children and their families. For short rides, there are two seasonal options: a trolley in downtown Fort Myers and a tram on Fort Myers Beach. For longer rides, the Fort Myers Beach Trolley (different from the tram) runs the length of the island and into Bonita Springs year-round. The most comprehensive ride is Naples Trolley Tours, where guests take a narrated 32-mile trip that takes about an hour and 45 minutes with 17 stops and the opportunity to hop on and off all day. “Residents that have lived in Naples for 15 to 20 years will take the trolley tour and come back and say, ‘Wow, I didn’t know

this.’ There are a lot of historical factors that people learn,” says Tamir Rankow, chief operating officer. “It gives you highlights, and it gives you sights. “For kids, riding on a trolley is a novel idea, too. Not only do they enjoy the ride and the entertainment by the trolley guide, they get to learn about the area.” That’s the experience Sherwin and Dinara Brown, of Boca Raton, wanted for their son Thomas, 11, and his friends Gregory and Timothy Munits, 11 and 9. “At first it seems boring, because you are just driving down 41, and then he turns, and we were just mesmerized by the parks and the houses,” Sherwin says. “I liked the big houses,” Thomas says. “We saw $4-million ones. We learned about the first hotel.”

Trolleys in SWFL NAPLES TROLLEY TOURS

Where: Leaves from 1010 Sixth Ave. S., Naples • When: Every hour on the half hour, 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. • Cost: $27

for adults, $13 for ages 5-13, free for children younger than 5; $2 off coupon for adults with online booking, get a paper coupon at the ticket counter. More savings available at Groupon.com. • Details: 239-262-7300 or naplestrolleytours.com

FORT MYERS BEACH TROLLEY & TRAM

Where: The trolley runs from Summerlin

Square on the mainland to Bowditch Point on the north end of the island, south to Times Square, Santini Plaza, Lovers Key State Park and U.S. Highway 41 and Bonita Beach Road. The tram goes from Bowditch to the Fort Myers Beach Public Library. • When: 6:10 a.m. to shortly after 8 p.m. for the trolley; the tram only runs during season. • Cost: The tram is free. For the trolley, single rides are 75 cents; the AllDay Pass is $2, and the Three-Day Pass is $4. • Details: rideleetran.com

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 27

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Tour guide Tim Hale says he’ll look for things that will excite the kids. “I will look for wildlife, because kids love the wildlife,” Tim says. “I know where we can find gators. I know where we can find dolphins. I know where there is a security crew of chickens.” Tim says that while the trolley does need to keep to a schedule, if there are alligators or dolphins, he will stop and let the children and their families watch for a while. The trip is long for young children to do in one sitting, but since the trolley passes each stop every hour, guests can get off and on. The tour takes passengers to Tin City, Port of Naples, by The Bayfront Inn 5th Ave, the Naples Depot Museum and Mercato. It makes stops at several hotels before heading to The Village Shops on Venetian Bay, Third Street South, Fifth Avenue South and the City Dock. It chugs over bridges where the driver pulls over to look for dolphins in the water below. Guests not only see many of Naples’ mansions, they learn about some of the rich and famous who live there. “Judge Judy loves shopping down here,” Tim says as he drives through Mercato. “I have been able to point her out a couple of times on tour.” He also points out some of the best places to eat, shop or stop for an ice cream. Other trollies here are for transportation, but they can still be a fun experience for children and their families. On the Fort Myers Beach Trolley, guests can ride from Summerlin Square over the Matanzas Pass Bridge, down the entire length of Fort Myers Beach to the Center of Bonita Springs plaza and back. “It is for transportation, but I think you could totally take a trolley ride for fun,” says Jacki Liszak, president of the Fort Myers Beach Chamber of Commerce. She also suggests the seasonal Fort Myers Beach Tram. “That is free, and that is open air, and that is super fun,” she says. There’s also a seasonal trolley in downtown Fort Myers. The downtown trolley has two lines. The Blue Line loops through historic downtown Fort Myers, while the Gold Line connects downtown to North Fort Myers. The trolley started running November 8 and is scheduled to continue through May 1.

» Trolleys in Southwest Florida continued

DOWNTOWN FORT MYERS

Where: The Blue Line loops through downtown Fort Myers from the Oasis condominiums on the east side, along West First Street and McGregor Boulevard, to the Rosa Parks Transportation Center, Fowler and Second streets and back to the Oasis. The Gold Line connects North Fort Myers to downtown Fort Myers, running from the Rosa Parks Transportation Center, over the Caloosahatchee Bridge, and looping through North Key Drive, Beau Drive and Hancock Bridge Parkway. • When: Early November to May 1 • Cost: Free • Detals: rideleetran.com

28 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

teens »

DEFYING GRAVITY Teens embrace ‘American Ninja’-like Defy trampoline park in Fort Myers. BY ANDREA STETSON

FROM LEFT: Luke Alongi, 10, zip lines into the foam pit at Defy in Fort Myers. • Amanda Kane, 11, leaps into the foam pit. • Ryan Linehan, 15, says the trampoline is his favorite. • Luke bounces on the mushroom balls.

t’s like being on “American Ninja Warrior” or “Wipeout.” Teens say Defy Fort Myers is better than a typical trampoline park, because it has more to challenge them. “I come here every day,” says Ryan Linehan, 15. “I come here with my friends. We all have the same interests in the trampoline. It’s a great place to hang out, and it’s cheap. This place has more things to do tricks on.” The 40,000-square-foot facility is famous for its angled wall trampolines, but that is just the beginning. There’s a trapeze, stunt fall, aerial silks, battle beams, foam pits and more. Like on the TV show “Wipeout,” there are padded revolving arms that people must jump over or duck under. Those who fail to do this are knocked into a foam pit. Defy also has a Ninja Course, speed wall, rock wall, zip line and a plethora of trampolines, from those integrated into the floor to the waterfall trampoline.

Defy Fort Myers Where: 9370 Dynasty Drive, Fort Myers When: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 9 a.m. to midnight Friday-Saturday, 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Sunday Cost: One hour is $16 for ages 7 and older, $12 for ages 3-6, free for ages 2 and younger. Two hours is $25 and $21 on weekdays, $32 and $24 on weekends and holidays. Defy Grip Socks, $3, are required for all jumpers and are available for purchase

on-site (keep them and reuse them on future visits). Special sessions: Ages 6 and younger get jump time with the big kids during KidJump, 9 to 10 a.m. Monday-Saturday. One accompanying adult jumps free per paid child for that same hour. On Family Night, 6 to 9 p.m. Mondays, the whole family jumps for $45. Details: defyfortmyers. com or 239-344-8244

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 29

« teens (continued)

Olivia and Luke Alongi, 12 and 10, and Amanda Kane, 11, jump over the padded bars in the wipeout foam pit.

“Apart from being brand new and state of the art, a lot of our attractions are geared to ‘American Ninja Warrior,’” says Spencer Wright, general manager. “It is geared for more people that are adrenaline seekers.” Amalia Johnson, 17, likes the super trampoline and the air track the best. She says Defy attracts teens with its variety of activities. “I just think it’s something to do,” Amalia says. “A lot of my life is doing homework and more homework, so this is a good break.” Spencer says the Euro trampoline and the air track are very popular with teens. “The wall trampoline is also popular, and the ‘American Ninja Warrior’ course is probably our most popular attraction,” he says. After school and on weekends, Defy is often full of teenagers. For younger children, there are special morning deals. “Little kids love the park just as much as big kids do,” Spencer says. Amanda Kane, 11, and her cousins Olivia and Luke Alongi, ages 12 and 10, enjoyed a recent afternoon at Defy. “It’s really fun,” Amanda said. “This is more fun. It is more athletic.” “This place has a lot more to do,” Olivia added. “Just jumping, people get bored, so with all these options, there is a lot more to do, so you don’t get bored.” The trio raced around Defy trying the different attractions. “I like the air trampoline,” Amanda said. “I like jumping over the pilings,” Luke added. Amanda’s father, Ed Kane, does have one suggestion. “They need a snack bar with drinks and snacks,” he says. That would be good.”

30 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

PHOTO SPECIAL TO SW FL PARENT & CHILD

spotlight »

Raising their voices against bullying Be The Voice gives students ways to build each other up and conquer bullying in Lehigh Acres. BY LEIGH TAHIROVIC

erhaps it was kismet that led a former Marine to become a high school teacher, determined to shape minds and foster empathy among his students. Even if fate gets all the credit, the students at Lehigh Senior High School are the ones reaping the benefits of Leo Navarro and Be The Voice, a bullying prevention program that has helped change attitudes on campus. “I call myself an accidental educator,” Leo explains of how he first became a teacher. He remembers a former girlfriend suggested he take a job teaching, but he initially balked at the idea, thinking he’d likely get fired

for being too tough. “As a teacher, I’m no joke,” he says. “I’m pretty old-school and really strict.” His approach was a perfect fit to lead Critical Thinking and Research, an elective class for freshmen that is loosely based on Navarro’s own degree minor in interdisciplinary studies. (He has a bachelor’s degree in fine arts.) “We have a lot of dialogue in my class … and talk about really cool things that no other teacher gets to talk about,” he says, adding that there is a lot of essay writing as well. “We teach those kids realistic expectations, realworld problems and how to handle those things from all points of view.”

One problem that plagued many students at Lehigh Senior was bullying, both in person and online. To engage his young students, Leo found Be The Voice, an anti-bullying program that teaches students to take the power away from the bully. It’s a 12-week curriculum where students view a video each week and discuss it. The curriculum also incorporates a striking visual. Be The Voice uses a red-and-black logo of a two-finger V or peace sign as a symbol reminding students to have a positive attitude toward others. “It’s like holding the [American] flag … a visual element that students

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 31

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Senior’s morning news and is broadcasted for every student to view. Right now, just the 175 students enrolled in Critical Thinking and Research experience the entire curriculum. There are also talks about making a presentation to the Lee County School District with a plan to integrate Be The Voice districtwide. “I want to make it [Be The Voice] the ultimate bullying prevention program,” Leo says, “that our nation can take part in and share and be a voice united against this pandemic that is spreading through our schools and even in adults.” Navarro acknowledges there are always “bad seeds” on campus but feels teaching empathy is the key forward. “Be empathic. We need to understand that people have different viewpoints, different beliefs. We need to learn to respect that,” he says. Leo is leaving the school after this year to continue his work with Be The Voice. The organization appointed him the Florida chair of the nonprofit, which is based in Georgia, and plans to give talks and presentations to schools statewide. Because the curriculum costs $1,600, Leo plans to help interested schools obtain funding to subsidize the cost. Just like he did at Lehigh Senior. “I looked for nine months for sponsors,” Leo says. The Lehigh Acres Rotary Club, the Kiwanis Club of Lehigh Acres and Hi-Def Printing in Cape Coral “all stepped up and said, ‘We want to be a part of this’ and cut checks to pay the $1,600 we needed for the program.” Once Lehigh Senior secured funding, it became the first school outside of Georgia to become a Be The Voice school. “We are trying to instill all of these values and morals and principles in these students through the program,” Leo says. “To light a fire and have this program in every school in America.”

PHOTO BY CH

understand and know what it represents,” he says. “They can hold it high and proud.” It also serves as a reminder to the rest of the students and faculty. Since Leo introduced Be The Voice to Lehigh Senior two years ago and his first set of students are now juniors, he believes the program has made a dramatic improvement on campus. “Everybody understands we’re not going to tolerate bullying in our school … We are going to ignore you and absolutely stop you from being a nuisance on this campus,” he says. His students also formed a Be The Voice club this year with nearly 40 student members who meet twice a month. The club focuses on bullying prevention and awareness on campus. “They [club members] look out for students who are loners and isolated and make friends with them. They bring them into a social circle that makes them feel wanted and protected,” Leo explains. “Nobody’s left alone.” Freshman Amanda Agrinsoni was eager to join the club when she started at Lehigh Senior. She says she felt Be The Voice was “cool and very interesting. “I like to be involved with programs that are focused on making a change,” Amanda says. Since the club is student-led, they discuss things that happen on or off campus and online to support the person being bullied. “We suggest ways to help the student get out of the situation,” she says. Attitudes on campus are changing, too. “The majority of the school think it’s a good program and that it does work,” Amanda says, adding that she is grateful to those classmates who came before her. Next year Leo hopes Be The Voice is incorporated into Lehigh

RIS TILLEY

« spotlight (continued)

Meredith O’Connor, a YouTube pop star poses for a photo with Daniel Phelan, left, her technical advisor, and student Chela Navarro.

A pop star takes notice Pop singer Meredith O’Connor shot to fame when the music video “Celebrity” went viral on YouTube in 2013. She parlayed that success and launched an anti-bullying platform. A victim of bullying in middle school, she has since given Ted Talks and written other music to further her message. Her latest single, “Stronger,” featuring Disney star Garrett Clayton, inspires listeners with the lyrics: “Nothing can break us down; Nothing can touch us now; There’s nothing stronger than love; And nothing nothing nothing is stronger: Than us.” The Lehigh Acres Be The Voice students connected with Meredith through social media, and a concert soon followed. Meredith performed “Stronger” to students at Varsity Lakes Middle School and Lehigh Senior High School in Lehigh Acres on November 19 and 20. Her visit mimicked many other concert-like appearances at schools and theaters throughout the nation. On a large screen, the lyrics were displayed, and the students sang along. She also spoke about how bullying can cause low self-esteem, and told the students, “Whether you have depression, anxiety, problems at home, or whatever issues you face, you will be stronger once you survive them than you were before.” See video and photos from the concert on swflparentchild.com

family life »

DEPORTED A North Naples family talks about their painful separation.

STORY AND PHOTOS BY ANDREA STETSON

oshua Ramos, 3, Marvin spent time rolls on the floor in a jail in Naples and trying to teach a Immokalee and was then dog a trick while transferred to Broward squealing, “Papi, County. look at me!” “The last time we saw His father, Marvin Rahim was in jail in Bromos, looks on proudly from ward County,” Marvin a television screen above. Jr. says. For the past year and a half, Marvin was deported Joshua and his brothers, back to Guatemala. Emanuel, 15, and Marvin “As soon as I arrived Jr., 17, and his two grown to Guatemala, I felt very sisters have only interacted strange. I had been out of with the dad they love via here for 20 years,” he says. WhatsApp. He had no family left “It is very painful the in Guatemala and says it separation,” says Marvin’s was like starting life all wife, Irma Salazar. “The over. He missed his chilperson who provides dren and his wife. everything for the home is “The only thing I was gone. Being with the kids thinking was to get back and seeing them suffering and be with my kids,” every day is the most difMarvin says. ficult. The person who was Marvin Ramos Jr, 17, and his brother Joshua, 3, talk with their In January 2018, Marsupporting us is not here. It dad via WhatsApp. vin took a bus to the boris very painful for me.” der and then crossed into Marvin Ramos worked hard would lose their dad permanently. the US. He was caught in Arizona to provide for his family in North “I didn’t think that would hapand deported, labeled a criminal for Naples. For 20 years he worked as a pen,” Marvin Jr. says. “I just thought illegally re-entering the country, and painter. He worked seven days a week he would go to jail and come back. A that means he can’t apply to return for to give them a better life. Then in couple of weeks later, I saw he was at least 11 years. March 2017, the family was driving not coming back.” “I went to the judge, and I exto church when a law enforcement “I thought it would be something plained all my reasons for coming officer stopped them for having a fast,” Marvin adds from the television back, but he said it was not his probbroken headlight on the car. Marvin screen. “I thought I would pay a fine lem, and I need to respect the law,” was arrested for not having a driver’s and that would be it. The only thing Marvin recalls. license and for being in the country I did was I did not have a driver’s Marvin understands that he was illegally. license. I never thought I would be here against the law but says banish“We were all in the car,” Emanuel deported, because it had been 20 years. ing him to Guatemala is hurting his says. “It was scary.” I thought they would have some sons, who were born in the United But they didn’t imagine they consideration.” States.

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« family life (continued) His wife is struggling to pay the bills, and his sons are growing up without a father. Irma is painting houses six days a week. Marvin Jr., who is a high school junior, works about 35 hours a week at Taco Bell to help support the family. He also sends money to help his father in Guatemala. Marvin Jr. says it’s very stressful having to go to school and work to help support the family, but he wants to do everything he can to help. “I help her pay the car insurance and the phone bill,” Marvin Jr. says. “That is why I started working — to help my mom and my dad.” In Guatemala, Marvin says he finds work about two or three days a week, and the pay is about $10 a day. The three-bedroom apartment that the family has rented for years near Walmart in North Naples is too costly, so the family took in a tenant to help pay the rent. Now Emanuel and Joshua share a bedroom with their mother. For months the boys could only speak with their dad on the phone. But when Naples residents Laura and Rick Barnard heard of their plight, they donated smart phones to the family and paid for Marvin to have internet access in Guatemala, so the boys could see their dad when they spoke. “The first time he saw the picture on the phone and it said ‘Papi,’ Josh started crying,” Laura says. “We want to let people know, so they can change the laws, so Marvin is not labeled a felon. It is not fair that he has to stay away for 11 years.” The Barnards also donated money to help Marvin pay for doors and windows for his house in Guatemala. They gave the boys laptops for school, donated gift cards and other helpful items. But while money is tight, it’s the separation that is the hardest. On a recent Sunday afternoon, Irma sat on the Barnards’ couch, tears streaming down her face, as her husband spoke via WhatsApp about the day they were separated. “It is very painful to remember the separation,” Irma says softly. Emanuel misses being with his dad.

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Laura Barnard gives laptops to Marvin’s sons to help them keep in touch with their dad.

Seeing him on the screen is just not enough. “I miss everything,” Emanuel says. “We would hang out together and do everything.” “I like fixing the cars up and changing the tires with him,” adds Marvin Jr. “I liked helping him with that. When I didn’t have school, I liked going to help him with his jobs.” Joshua was about 18 months old when his dad was deported. He doesn’t remember playing with his father. When he talks with his dad on WhatsApp, he is often more interested in seeing his father’s chickens than speaking to a dad he barely knows. The older boys talk with their father a lot. “He calls me every two hours when I get back from school,” Emanuel says. “He says, ‘How are you?’ and asks me about my day and about the baby and how he is.” He also talks with his wife and Marvin Jr. every day. “I ask him if he needs anything,” Marvin Jr. says. “I send him money.” The separation is also difficult for Marvin. He gets teary-eyed watching Joshua play with a dog, knowing he

can’t be there. He gets tearful again when his toddler kisses his face on the phone screen to say goodbye. “I miss everything,” Marvin says. “Joshua was just a year and a half when I was deported, and I can’t help raise him. Something that affects me very bad is remembering when my kids were crying when the police officer was taking me and the kids were crying, and I remember that was very bad. I worry every day about them. It is not easy for my wife. I tried to help, but here, there is nothing here, not much work. I want to help my wife and my children.” Marvin and Irma say their sons are the hope for the future. Marvin Jr. wants to be an electrician. Emanuel plans to go to college and eventually get a good job. When Marvin Jr. turns 21, he can sponsor his mother and help her become a citizen. But for Marvin, it will be at least 11 years before he can come home. “I miss him every day,” Emanuel says. EDITOR’S NOTE: Legal Aid Service of Collier County, collierlegalaid.org, assists people in jeopardy of deportation. Another resource is the Guadalupe Social Services of Catholic Charities, catholiccharitiesdov.org.

education »

SURVIVING

SCHOOL

CHOICE

This method of assigning students to schools can be stressful. But there are ways to ensure your sanity — and that of your student.

STORY BY ANDREA STETSON

he school choice process can be extremely stressful. First parents and students must determine which school is best for them. Then they play the school lottery and wait for a couple of anxious months to find out if they got their first choice.

Last year, in the Lee County School District, where every incoming kindergartner, sixthgrader and high school freshman must rank the schools they want to attend and then wait to see where they get assigned, 82 percent of students received their first choice. That’s a big number. But it also means that 18 percent didn’t.

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» education (continued)

Leila Muvdi, the director of student assignment for Lee County schools, says the process doesn’t have to be stressful. She also believes it should not be a big disappointment if you don’t get your top pick. “A lot of parents end up being happy with the school that they get,” she says. “A lot of times I hear parents say it worked out better.” Charli Banks, mother of four in Fort Myers, says she is trying to keep things in perspective, because everything worked out very well for her oldest son. “My second child is now in eighth grade, and I am now stressing out about high school choices,” she says. The stress comes at many levels, from choosing a school, to waiting for placement, to possibly dealing with disappointment. Her son wants to go to Riverdale High School to be with his friends. But getting in there is very difficult unless he goes into the International Baccalaureate program (students accepted into the rigorous IB program don’t have to go through School Choice). While he qualifies, Charli isn’t sure she wants to stress him out with the extra academics, since her son is very involved in soccer and track. “If he doesn’t get in, he will get stuck in one of those schools that don’t challenge him,” Charli says. “It is very stressful, because I am constantly thinking what if I take him away from his friends, or what if there is too much homework.” Charli is talking with her son, Cooper, about the options and what is best for academics, soccer, friendships and other areas. She also knows about dealing with the stress of disappointment. Cooper got his fourth choice for middle school. All his friends got their first choice. “He was pretty much on the edge,” Charli says. “He was very, very upset.” Charli did everything from stressing that he needed the gifted program at Varsity Lakes Middle to writing a hardship letter to get him into his first choice.

“It wasn’t easy by any means,” she says. “I had to wait all summer to get him in.” Now the anxiety is back. “I am stressing and trying to get him in a high school for August,” Charli says. “That is what a lot of parents feel. It is just a waiting game, and it is not just for parents, it is for students. They are feeling, ‘What if I don’t get in? What if I am not with my friends?’ It is not school choice. You don’t really get to choose. Luckily so far, it all did work out, but it shouldn’t be that hard.” With a fourth-grader and a kindergartner, Charli knows the stress of school choice will continue for many years. Leila touts its many benefits. “It is such an opportunity,” she says. “For example, in high school there are so many different programs: Cambridge, art, students that want to be a veterinarian go to one that does rotations in a clinic, Dunbar has the Microsoft technology program. The students have so many opportunities. They can choose based on what they want to do in life. “Everything has advantages and disadvantages. You might be closer to a school, but what if it is not what your child’s interests are. The parents have the opportunity to apply for anything and everything. It is an opportunity for the kids and for the parents.” Yet even with those advantages, it is hard for many parents and students to wait until the end of March for their school fate to be decided. It can also be stressful and saddening for families that don’t get top choice. This year, a new rule was put in place that states students who don’t get their top choice can’t get on the school’s waiting list if they got their second or third pick. The waiting list is only for students who get fourth choice or beyond. Ed Kane, his wife and daughter Amanda Kane, 11, moved to Cape Coral last year and felt the stress of choosing a school. “It is stressful,” Ed says. “We are from up north, and you go to the school in the district where you live.”

“It is a stressful process, because you don’t have any control. And whenever you don’t have control, it is stressful.” — STACEY BROWN

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Ed didn’t want Amanda to go through the process again in three years, so she applied to Oasis Middle School, a charter school that allows students to automatically move on to Oasis High School. In Collier and Charlotte counties, each school has a zone and students who live in that zone go to that school. Families who want their children to attend a different school may apply for Out-of-Zone or School Choice. How the parents respond to the school choice process is a big influencing factor in how the kids adapt, according to Stacey Brown, a licensed mental health counselor in private practice in Fort Myers who is also the mother of three children who have been through School Choice nine times total. “For the most part, it does just fine,” she says. “It is a stressful process, because you don’t have any control. And whenever you don’t have control, it is stressful. If a person has some anxiety to begin with, then this process is terrible. Among my friends and clients, the ones that have the hardest times are the ones that have preexisting anxiety and trauma. You have no control. Parents have to be in control of this process before they can help their kids.” Stacey remembers when one of her daughters did not get her first choice. “All her friends went to Cypress Middle,” she explains. “She was playing violin, and she wanted to be in the Cypress (arts) program. Sarah cried a lot. Lots of anxiety. I can relate to this.” Luckily for Sarah, a medical issue got her into her first choice. Stacey says medical waivers do work. For those who can’t get that change, she says the acceptance and success at school starts with the parents. “If the parents are OK with this, then the children will be OK in time,” she explains. “Pretty much in every situation, it is the parents that make things worse. If the parents can be supportive, encouraging, then the kids will adjust. If the parents are not supportive of the school, then the kids will pick up on that, and it will make everything more difficult. “It is a mindful approach just like it is with everything. It is just about learning about how to cope with change. Welcome to life. This is teaching kids to accept what is. It is teaching kids resiliency, helping kids come to terms with the fact that they might not be the center of the universe, and telling the kids they have support. Take the kids for tours, introduce them to the teachers and counselors to help them settle in.”

How to register for school Other than the fact that kindergartners need to be 5 by September 1, when, where and how you sign up your child for school in Florida varies by county. Here’s what you need to know to register your child for public school plus information about School Choice in Lee, Collier and Charlotte counties.

Lee County When: Open enrollment is January 14 to March 1. While

student registrations are accepted year-round, this is when the bulk of students going into kindergarten, sixth grade and ninth grade are assigned to a school and space fills up.. Students already attending a Lee public school will be mailed instructions to register online. Those go out January 11 for current eighth-graders, January 18 for fifth-graders and January 25 for prekindergartners whose paperwork is in the system.

How it works: Lee County is divided into three zones:

south, east and west. Each zone is split into three subzones. Parents rank their schools of choice in their subzone. Students are placed in schools giving priority to children with siblings in a school, proximity to school or special needs. The rest of the children are placed with a random lottery. Parents with paperwork on file can apply online or by mail. Anyone new to the district must first bring the needed documents to one of the registration locations.

New this year: Several changes are in effect this year. • The timeframe is shorter: seven weeks instead of 10. • Parents of students new to the district were able to turn in paperwork in October and November, so they can also register online when enrollment begins. This should shorten lines during open enrollment.

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» education (continued)

Collier County

» Continued from page 37 • Elementary school students who don’t get their first choice will only be allowed on the waiting list if they did not receive their second or third choice either.

When: January 10 to February 15 is the window

• A new website “chat” feature where parents can ask questions instead of calling.

zones for each of its schools. A child attends the school in their zone. If you want your child to attend a different school, you must apply for Outof-Zone or School Choice. The biggest difference is that Out-of-Zone needs a reason like a custody issue or a sibling attends the school. School Choice doesn’t require a reason, but Out-of-Zone students get placed first. Approvals are subject to capacity. No transportation is provided by the district.

Siblings: Children are automatically assigned the school of their older sibling. Parents who don’t want that must apply through the lottery.

Priority: Top priority is for students who live within 2

miles of a school. Second tier priority is for students who live 2-5 miles from the school.

Who must register: All students entering kindergarten

for Out-of-Zone and School Choice requests.

How it works: Collier County is divided into

and sixth and ninth grades in the fall of 2019 and anyone new to the district or students who want to switch schools.

Who must register: Any student who is new

Where: Many students will register online. If you are new

McKay Scholarship: Parents of students with

to the district and need to submit paperwork, you’ll go to one of the following locations: • West Zone: 360 Santa Barbara Blvd. N., Cape Coral • South Zone: 2855 Colonial Blvd., Fort Myers • East Zone: 1262 Wings Way, Suite 207, Lehigh Acres

For more details: leeschools.net/our_district/

departments/academic_services/student_ enrollment or 239-337-8247 in Fort Myers, 239-337-8347 in Lehigh Acres and 239-242-2059 in Cape Coral.

to the district, entering kindergarten or changing schools. an Individual Education Plan or 504 Plan apply through the state at floridaschoolchoice.org. Once that’s approved, parents apply through portal.collierschools.com. Applications are accepted throughout the year.

Where: For all students, the process starts online at portal.collierschools.com. Students new to the district will then need to gather the required documents and visit a registration location.

For more details: collierschools.com/ parentalchoice

Charlotte County When: February through March for School Choice How it works: As in Collier, Charlotte County

students are assigned to a zoned school. If you want your child to attend a different school, you must apply through School Choice, also called Controlled Open Enrollment. Approval is based on capacity. Parents new to the county who miss the enrollment period and choose an outof-district school for the next school year may apply. Parents must always start the reassignment process at the school of residence. Once enrolled in a school, you do not need to apply each year. For students entering kindergarten or who are new to the district, parents can call their neighborhood school for a registration appointment. A list of required documents is available online.

Who must register: Any student who is new to the district, entering kindergarten or changing schools.

Where: Forms are available at each public school within the district and online at yourcharlotteschools.net.

For more details: 941-255-0808 or yourcharlotteschools.net

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cover story »

Picture PERFECT How to get your crew to take the best family photo ever.

thousand words do not begin to describe the impact of a good photo. In one look, a photograph conveys not only information, but also storytelling, a sense of time and place, emotion. Photographs capture history and stir our memories as the years go by. And so, despite everyone having a little camera in their pocket, it’s no wonder

family portraits continue to be popular. Sure, you’ve got a selfie stick and a rough understanding of Photoshop, but nothing beats the expert eye of a professional photographer. For those who vow 2019 will finally be the year to get that family photo taken, we asked Southwest Florida photographers for their best tips. Their advice is priceless:

PHOTO BY AMANDA INSCORE

Chad and Megan Luce pose for a family portrait by Amanda Inscore. The kids, starting with the unicorn, are Stella, 5, Ayrton, 7, and Eden, also 5. The unicorn horn wasn’t part of the original plan, but Stella insisted on wearing it. “Not worth the fight,” Megan says.

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» cover story (continued)

PHOTOS BY (CLOCKWISE FROM ABOVE): Courtney Garbow Photography • Tonya Barnes Photography • Mandy Stewart Photography

Stalk photographers online.

Think about timing.

Every photographer has their own style. Some tend toward dark and moody, others toward light and airy. Some do posed portraits best, some specialize in documentary-style candids. Before you book a photographer, browse their websites to get a sense of their individual styles. “If you're looking for a documentary style with a moody feel, don't go with a photographer whose photos are posed and give off a light and airy feel,” says Chelsea Blackwood, of Blackwood Birth Photography. “The No. 1 thing you can do to have an amazing session is to choose your photographer well,” says Jamie Taylor, of Taylor Rowe. “Clothing, locations, outfit changtes, none of that will matter if you don’t select a photographer that matches the photographs you plan on having. No matter your style — fun, edgy, soft, lots of props, etc. — make sure to spend a little bit of time finding the one whose pictures sing the song of your people.”

When scheduling your photo shoot, think about time of year, time of day, even that special time of month. You don’t want to interfere with naptime, mealtime, even your menstrual cycle. If you want holiday photos, call the photographer as early in the year as possible. Many start booking in early August. “Come October, most of us are already booked out, and it's rare when we can schedule last-minute emails and inquiries,” says Heather Frank, of Heather Frank Photography. When considering time of day, Heather says, “Most natural light photographers prefer to have the session during the ‘golden hour,’ which is one hour before the sun sets. Plan your children's naps, snacks, and meals accordingly so that they are happy going into the session.” Don’t forget to consider your own best time. “Ladies, plan your session date around the week before or after that

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pesky monthly, whichever week you know you'll feel better in,” Heather says. “There's nothing worse for us ladies than having a photo shoot within that exact week when you feel and look like crud.” But don’t wait until you feel you look perfect. “I have heard of too many, ‘I wish I would've done it sooner and not waited,’” says Barbara Spratlin, owner of SandBar Portrait Art. “I understand we want to wait to lose the weight; we’re too busy now, when things slow down… Years go by and kids are much older and family members are gone.”

Feed your models. “Don’t show up to a photo shoot on an empty stomach,” says Tracy Houston, of Let Me Be Candid Photography. Lots of families try to schedule their session at sunset and plan to go to dinner after. That’s not always the best option for kids. Empty bellies will mean cranky and uncooperative kids. If you still want to plan for dinner after

Tips for the DIY photographer

PHOTOS BY (CLOCKWISE FROM ABOVE): Bobbilee Tanner Photography • Lindsay Stone Photograhy • J Gompper Photography • Stephanie Lynn Huber Photographer

the session, be sure to give a good healthy snack before arrival.”

Hydrate. “If you're not already a faithful water drinker, I always suggest to my clients the week before the session to start drinking as much water as possible, and limit the sodium intake,” Heather says. “This will help you not only clear some bloat, but you will actually feel wonderful for the day of your session.”

Plan your wardrobe. This is a big one. The clothes you wear in your family photo will always be in your family photo. If you hang that pic on the wall, it should fit with the style of your interior décor. One of the most common tips offered by the photographers was: Coordinate but don’t match. “Coordinate outfits, but don’t match exactly or you’ll look like a

bowling team,” says Jess Gompper of J Gompper Photography. Take it easy on the colors. “Do color coordinate, but don't overdo the color,” Chelsea says. “Light color palettes and natural fiber clothing like linen look amazing no matter what year it is.” You don’t have to buy new. “You can ‘shop’ in your closet to come up with a wardrobe. It doesn’t have to cost you anything,” says Bobbilee Tanner, of Bobbilee Tanner Photography. “Choose two or three colors that work well together and blend them together.” “Gone are the days of the jeans and white T-shirts,” Tracy says. “Pops of color and small, pretty patterns help to showcase your family’s personality. If you go to Pinterest and search ‘what to wear for family photos’ you will get tons of options to help you find the right clothes — and chances are you may not have to hit the stores because you probably have what you need in your closet already.”

So maybe you can’t afford to hire a professional photographer. We get that. We’re all parents here. And so are many of the local photographers. A few offered tips for the do-it-yourselfer. And we added a few from our own photographer, Amanda Inscore, who can coax the most exquisite photos from children of all ages, and art director Lindi Daywalt-Feazel, who populates her social media feeds with great shots of her own kids. Location, location, location. “The days of bright white backgrounds is over. Find locations with interest to keep your subject framed in the shot,” says Tonya Barnes, of Tonya Barnes Photography. “Brick walls, forested areas with large leaves and beat-up/ battered buildings and roads make incredible backdrops. However, always shoot with a more wide-open lens so that the background isn’t as focused as your subject — you don’t want to lose them.

Use natural light. The flash on any camera tends to leave skin tones overexposed and backgrounds dark. Turn off the flash and take advantage of natural light. Look for soft light pouring in windows or dappled through the trees. Time your session for the early morning or late afternoon hours when the sun is softer, that so-called golden hour before sunset and after sunrise. Avoid the harsh rays of midday. If the sun is bright, get in full shade for more even lighting and no squinting.

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» cover story (continued)

PHOTOS BY (CLOCKWISE FROM ABOVE): Taylor Rowe • Alma B Photgraphy • Heather Frank Photography • Mandy Stewart Photography • Bobbilee Tanner Photography

Fit is just as important as color. “You could have a celebrity stylist whip up a dream outfit for your crew, and if the fit is off, it will definitely show,” Jamie Taylor says. “Remember, well-fitting clothes are better than baggy ones to hide anything you might not feel 100 percent about. “Last is texture, but it certainly isn’t least. Texture (and layering) brings a lot of visual interest to portraits, so think fabrics that are different from your everyday wear and sprinkle them throughout. It could be a little lace, a chunky knit or something like sequins or other embellishments. For layers, you could do a cardigan, sports coat, scarf or a simple tank underneath your shirt, it really doesn’t take much but the results are worth it.”

chocolate!) or a favorite toy are great for that. Bringing the kids’ favorite music can also be helpful. “Silly dance parties will always make them smile,” Bobbilee says.

Plan for special needs. “If you have a child with special needs, be sure to communicate with your photographer to see if he or she is able to accommodate those things,” Bobbilee says. “Some children do not understand when you are joking, some children do not like to be touched, some simply are unable to express emotion of any kind. Some may be in wheelchairs or have an unsteady gait, so working with your photographer on an accessible location is important.”

Bring some key supplies.

Prep your spouse.

Most of the photographers also recommended bringing a few key supplies, some for the purposes of just being prepared — like an extra set of clothes, comfortable shoes — and some for bribery. A non-messy snack (definitely no

Apparently, husbands, at times, can be just as difficult as children, judging from some of the photographers’ advice. Alma Bruffy, owner of Alma B Photography, wrote a whole blog about it, giving tips for getting dad on board.

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One was feeding him. Another was communicating with him about what to expect, about bribing the kids, warning him the kids are likely to act up and helping him just go with the flow. “Especially if this is your first session together with the family now that the kids are mobile, let him know how the session will go and discuss your expectations,” Alma writes. “Also, if you have to bribe the kids, communicate this with him so he can help remind them of the bribery.”

Most of all: Relax and let the kids be kids. Almost all the photographers we surveyed say this one tip is the most important. As parents, we want the best family photo possible. We want our children to be well-behaved. We have lots of expectations. But the more stressed out mom and dad are, the more difficult the children become. “Let kids be kids! Meltdowns happen, and it's key for parents to just keep their cool,” says Chelsea Blackwood. “It's very normal for parents to feel

DIY Tips continued »

Keep clicking. “Always keep clicking. Children move. Pets move. It is crazy to think a child would sit still long enough to let you take their photo, especially the littles. Keep clicking so you won’t miss the one or two moments they look at you with that perfect smile or expression,” says Tonya Barnes, of Tonya Barnes Photography.

Be ready for the moment.

PHOTOS BY (CLOCKWISE FROM ABOVE): Rob Hurth Photography • Dulce Ruiz Photograhy • Dawn Laurine Photography

frustrated and embarrassed when a session isn't going smoothly for their little ones. Oftentimes when parents keep light-hearted, we can get some pretty good shots even through the tantrums.” “Don’t stress much about getting the ‘perfect’ shot,” says Courtney Garbow, of Courtney Garbow Photography. “I always begin my sessions with a traditional posed shot with everyone smiling (or at least looking at the camera), but then I let my clients do their thing. I very much prefer when my clients interact with one another, being natural and themselves, because that will allow me to capture those inbetween, candid moments that you will be able to look back on and feel those emotions all over again. You’d be surprised at what ends up being your favorite shot when you relax and let the children be children.” We experience this same phenomenon in our cover shoots. The parents might think their child is being horrible, but our photographer’s quick lens captures a moment the

parents didn’t even see. “Enjoy the process the day of and let us photographers take care of the rest,” says Heather Frank. “As a mother myself,” she says, “I understand the stress of trying to get your kids to cooperate and have those ‘perfectly Pinterest photos’ as your end product. Can I share a secret? Most of those photos on Pinterest are lies. Yes, I said it. When my clients receive their images, they are shocked they came out the way they did, because in reality, their kids were having meltdowns the entire time.” Sometimes those meltdowns produce the best photos. “The in-between moments I capture, most of the time without them realizing, will be the heirloom images your children and grandchildren will cherish the most,” says Mandy Stewart, of Mandy Stewart Photography. “Those emotive photographs of glances, hugs, hand holding and, yes, even upset tears from a toddler, capture you, your children or your spouse in their truest form. Tell your

Let your kids be themselves. The best photos are often the moments between the stiff smiles. Let them run a bit. Let them lie in the grass and take a photo of them from above. Ask them to hug their sibling or kiss dad on the cheek. Tell them a funny joke. Make funny noises. But be ready to capture the moment when it happens.

Refocus. If your child is still not listening or having a challenging time, take them aside to take their photo by themselves. It usually refocuses them, then they can more easily go back into the group shot.

Beware the sunset photo. We often get a perfect image in our minds of a sunset behind our perfectly lit family. Unless you have lights like a professional — and even then, it’s tough — you’re going to either get silhouettes or blown-out skin tones from the flash on the camera. “When photographing on the beach or park, the best time of the day is an hour or so before sunset,” says Lorraine Mason, of Lorraine Mason Photography. “For a great silhouette photo, bend down lower than your subject and use your subject’s head or body to block the sun from your camera lens. As the sun is about to disappear from the horizon, try photographing your subject so they are looking toward the sun (with your back to the sun). The fading light on their faces will be illuminating and beautiful.”

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» cover story (continued) story in all its beauty.” If you’re still unsure, talk with the photographer prior to the shoot. “The best piece of advice I can tell you is to ask your photographer when you need to step in,” says Jamie Taylor. “During your session,” she says, “step back, breathe and believe that we understand how strange this all is for them, and we have tricks up our sleeves that will get even the most YouTube-crazed child to listen, if only for a shot or two at a time. You may see us try different things, and it may look like we don’t have it under control, but I assure you, more often than not, we are directing your kids to be silly, or even to run around a little bit so things aren’t so overwhelming.” “The perfect family photo is not the one in which you are all smiling blankly at the camera,” says Jess Gompper. “The perfect family photo shows love, and laughter. It shows movement, and emotion, and little eyes that dance with delight as you lift your kiddo high in the air. The perfect photo illuminates the connection between you and your partner as you share a knowing smirk over your babies' heads, proud of the legacy you are creating together. The perfect photo is not achieved by expensive outfits or professional makeup application or a vibrant sunset (though … all of those things are nice, of course!), but rather by the pure, authentic, raw emotion that you bring to the session.” Perhaps the Brits said it best: Keep calm and carry on. “Children will be children. As much as we'd like them to sit perfectly still and smile at the camera, oftentimes this simply is not a priority to the children as much as it is to us,” says Dulce Ruiz, of Dulce Ruiz Photography. “Children feed off the energy we project. If mom and dad are tense and stressed, they will be too. Stay calm, relax, and let's play!”

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SWFL photographers We put a call out for tips from photographers throughout Southwest Florida and got an amazing response. The following are the ones mentioned in this feature. Get additional information about these and other local photographers, plus sample photos, on our website, swflparentchild.com.

Tonya Barnes, Tonya Barnes Photography

Website: tonyabarnesphotography. com • Where: Cape Coral, Fort Myers and surrounding areas • Specialties: Outdoor family photography, portraits, weddings, candid events and themed photography • Contact: 239-203-8750 or tonyabarnestphotgraphy@gmail.com

Chelsea Blackwood, Blackwood Birth Photography

Where: Cape Coral, Fort Myers, Naples, Punta Gorda, Lehigh Acres • Specialties: Birth photography • Website: blackwoodbirthphotography. com • Contact: 419-450-9777 or blackwoodbirthphotography@ gmail.com

Alma Bruffy, Alma B Photography

Where: Southwest Florida (based in Fort Myers) • Specialties: Family, weddings, events and headshots for business professionals • Website: almab.photography • Contact: 239687-3940 or almabruffy@gmail.com

Heather Frank, Heather Frank Photography

Where: Port Charlotte • Specialties: Wedding, family, maternity, lifestyle newborn and birth photography • Website: heatherfphotography.com • Contact: heatherfphoto@gmail.com

Courtney Garbow, Courtney Garbow Photography Where: Naples and surrounding area • Specialties: Family, couples/ engagements, weddings • Website: cgarbowphoto.com • Contact: 239537-4862 or cgarbow@hotmail.com

Jessica Gompper, J Gompper Photography

Where: Based in Cape Coral • Specialties: Lifestyle family photography • Website: jgompperphotography.com • Contact: jess@jgompperphotography. com

Tracy Houston, Let Me Be Candid Photography Where: Southwest Florida (based in Naples) • Specialties: Outdoor,

family and weddings • Website: letmebecandid.com • Contact: tracyhouston@letmebecandid.com

Lorraine Mason, Lorraine Mason Photography

Where: Within 50 miles of Cape Coral • Specialties: Weddings and portraits • Website: lorrainemason.zenfolio. com • Contact: 239 961 8924 or lorrainemason@live.com

Dulce Ruiz, Dulce Ruiz Photography

Where: Based in Fort Myers, range is from Collier County to Sarasota County • Specialties: Lifestyle and weddings • Website: dulceruizphotography. com • Contact: 239-281-2358 or dulceruizphotography@gmail.com

Barbara Spratlin, SandBar Portrait Art

Where: Southwest Florida • Specialties: Mixed media paintings; family, children, pets and horse photography turned into a painting • Website: sandbarphotography.com • Contact: 239-707-9570 or sandbarphotos@aol. com

Mandy Stewart, Mandy Stewart Photography

Where: Based in Cape Coral, on location throughout Lee County • Specialties: Storytelling, family, children and elopements • Website: instagram. com/mandystewartphotography or facebook.com/ mandystewartphotography • Contact: 239-994-1260 or Mandystewartphotography@gmail.com

Bobbilee Tanner, Bobbilee Tanner Photography

Where: Southwest/Southeast Florida • Specialties: Children with special needs, weddings • Website: btannerphoto. com • Contact: 954-495-7738 or btannerphoto@gmail.com

Jamie Taylor, Taylor Rowe

Where: Cape Coral to Naples • Specialties: Portraits that celebrate the beauty of women and their children • Website: taylorrowe.com • Contact: 720212-5048 or Jamie@taylorrowe.com

safety corner » DEBOR A H COMELL A

What you need to know about vaping and teens

rive down any well-traveled street in Lee County, and it’s hard to miss the shops advertising “vapes” and e-cigarettes and their accompanying products. Often advertised for their function “to help people get off cigarettes,” these high-tech and easily hidden devices can have a special appeal for teens. And with more than 460 different e-cigarette brands on the market, they can be easy for a teen to obtain despite a 2016 Food and Drug Administration rule that both in-store and online purchasers must be at least 18 years of age. Electronic delivery devices can look like traditional cigarettes and pipes, pens or cigars, but they all have one thing in common — a tank filled with nicotine liquid. In various shapes and sizes, e-cigarettes are battery-powered devices that heat a liquid into an aerosol that is inhaled. The liquid generally includes nicotine, flavoring and other additives. And “e-juice” comes in hundreds of kid-friendly flavors, including bubble gum, caramel candy, cheesecake — even milk. E-cigarettes can also be used as a delivery system for marijuana and other illegal substances. According to the 2017 Monitoring the Future Survey, nearly 1 in 3 students in 12th grade report use in the past year of

some kind of vaping device. Our anecdotal evidence reflects the belief that these are “safe cigarettes,” but that is certainly not the case. Research is showing that youth who use an e-cigarette product are more likely to go on to use other tobacco products like cigarettes. Nicotine use in adolescents is especially dangerous, because this highly addictive substance can disrupt brain development and the growth of brain circuits that control attention, learning and susceptibility to addiction. A device that is of special concern

Deborah Comella is the executive director of the Lee County Coalition for a Drug-Free Southwest Florida and a member of the Tobacco Free Lee Coalition.

among Lee County professionals is the Juul. This brightly colored device looks like a thumb drive and is so popular that “juuling” is becoming a unit of speech. In just two years, the Juul has captured 68 percent of the e-cigarette market and has caused alarm in schools, including the Lee County School District. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, parents should have four concerns about the Juul device : » Juul has a higher nicotine content than many other e-cigarettes. The amount of nicotine in one Juul cartridge is roughly equal to the amount of nicotine in a pack of cigarettes (double the concentration found in other e-cigarettes, according to the product website). » The ability to hide Juul enables frequent use. » Kids are attracted to flavored e-cigarettes and believe they are less harmful. » Pediatricians are still learning about Juul and may not ask the right questions when having a conversation about e-cigarettes with patients. This is the time to talk with your kids about the dangers of Juuls and ecigarettes. Supported by the United Way of Lee, Hendry, Glades and Okeechobee Counties, the Lee County School District’s TALK15 website has excellent resources on how to start the conversation.

Safe Kids is a nonprofit coalition of agencies and organizations dedicated to eliminating preventable childhood injuries. Visit safekidsswfl.org.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 45

» family album

Immokalee Foundation Career Model »

The Immokalee Foundation unveiled its new career model during the Charity Classic Celebration gala and Pro-Am this month, garnering strong support from philanthropists and community business leaders who donated $2.5 million to support the foundation’s groundbreaking programs that serve the youth of Immokalee. Here, Joyce Hagen, The Immokalee Foundation board of directors chair, poses with students at the Charity Classic Celebration. Photo special to SW FL Parent & Child

St. Andrew Christmas Program »

At right: The littlest choir member singing at the school’s annual Christmas Nativity. • Far right: The holy family, angels, stable animals and the shining star of Bethlehem watch as the wise men approach with gifts for the newborn babe at the school’s annual Christmas Nativity. Photos courtesy of St. Andrew Catholic School

46 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

“Ding” winners »

The “Ding” Darling Wildlife Society-Friends of the Refuge awarded $11,000 in grants to conservation education-related projects at nine schools in Lee, Charlotte and Collier counties for the 2018-2019 school year. The receipients are, from front, Lee County environmental education specialist Susie Hassett; Cassandra Duke and Megan Hull, Gulf Middle; Lori Shaw, Cape High; Julie Stephens, Royal Palm Exceptional School; Jill Whitewood, Cypress Lake Middle; Michelle Start, Lehigh Acres Middle; Linda Grant, Alejandra Matos and Laine Holt from Patriot Elementary. Refuge Conservation Educator Sara Hallas and DDWS Education Committee chair Wendy Kindig are at the back. Not pictured: Barbara Lisson, Neil Armstrong Elementary, and Joanne Pavese, Edison Park Creative & Expressive Arts School. Photo courtesy of “Ding” Darling Wildlife Society-Friends of the Refuge

Send Us Your Snapshots Send your images with a brief description and names of the people in them to editor@swflparentchild.com

Hanukkah concert » The Southwest Florida Symphony Youth Orchestra performs holiday favorites celebrating the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights, on December 2, at Temple Shalom in Punta Gorda. Photo courtesy of Southwest Florida Symphony

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 47

» family album

The Nutcracker »

North Fort Myers Academy for the Arts students perform their 2018 Christmas production of “The Nutcracker” at the Barbara B. Mann Performing Arts Hall. Photos by Chris Tilley

48 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

PHOTOS COURTESY OF WESTGATE RIVER RANCH RESORT & RODEO

travel »

Buffalo roam at Westgate River Ranch Resort & Rodeo.

‘Go West ’ WITHOUT

A luxe teepee is one of the many lodging choices at the Westgate River Ranch Resort & Rodeo.

FLORIDA Dude ranch near Lake Okeechobee rustles up many genuine experience activities.

STORY BY RANDY K AMBIC

PHOTO BY RANDY KAMBIC

LEAVING

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 49

ust being amid the lakes, farms and rolling hills of the Mid-Florida Ridge are themselves dramatic changes for us coastal dwellers. How about the added prospect of witnessing or participating in a rodeo, riding a horse, slinging bows and arrows, rustling up some campfire grub and grabbing your “pardner” for a real hoedown? And while the high-tech fun provided by Disney and other amusement parks is an hour drive north in the Orlando area, these decidedly earthier activities can be done on the same grounds as they were during the Sunshine State’s own frontier days. Families don’t have to “go west” for their kids to step into the world of genuine cowboys and ranchers. Yet, this massive “home on the range” is also stocked with many modern, high-tech activities and amenities that have little to do with Stetsons, leather boots and saddles to also appeal to any possible city slickers within the family. The Westgate River Ranch Re-

50 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

sort & Rodeo, halfway between Lake Okeechobee and Orlando, has evolved since the 1960s to become the largest dude ranch east of the Mississippi. Encompassing nearly 2,000 acres surrounded by pristine wilderness, it more than lives up to its billing. It comprises the same area that once served as a major stopping point on an old cattle trail and today along a portion of the Florida National Scenic Trail. Spending time here allows one to better associate the origin of the term “cracker” for generational Floridians who would crack a whip to keep cattle in line and together on the trail (with a major terminus being Punta Rassa in south Fort Myers). The many Western-steeped activities here include horseback riding, a 45-minute leisurely trek around lakes and through a wooded area, a mechanical bull, fishing in an adjacent catch-and-release lake, trap and skeet shooting, archery, hiking, a petting and feeding farm with goats, deer, sheep, llamas, bunnies and other animals.

There’s an old-fashioned, tractor-pulled hayride into the KICCO Wildlife Management Area that features a singing, guitar-strumming cowboy who mixes pop classics with such country-western standards like “Ring of Fire” and “Seminole Wind” capped with a family-style cookout at the East Corral. The unquestioned highlight of any weekend here is the Saturday night rodeo and dance party — a year-round, rain-or-shine, sports and entertainment doubleheader. After a parade of riders with flags, cowboys from around the country rope calves and try to ride a bull for eight seconds — one of the most astounding of all athletic feats. Cowgirls compete in thrilling barrel racing. There’s also astonishing displays of trick riding. Kids can also get a taste of the genuine American athletic action by participating in a calf scramble, vying to be the first to remove a ribbon from an animal’s tail to get a prize. High-energy line dancing for the entire family to live music immediately

travel (continued) » IF YOU GO

WESTGATE RIVER RANCH RESORT & RODEO Where: 3200 River Ranch Blvd., River Ranch (north of Lake Okeechobee near Yeehaw Junction, east of Lake Wales) Phone: 863-692-1321 Online: westgateriverranch.com

PHOTOS PROVIDED BY DUDA FAMILY

The Westgate River Ranch Resort & Rodeo in River Ranch, Florida, offers a wide variety of activities and accommodations, including, from far left, an airboat ride on the Kissimmee River (Photo by Randy Kambic), Luxe Teepee lodging, a rodeo, archery and guided horseback riding (Photo by Randy Kambic, all others courtesy of Westgate River Ranch Resort & Rodeo). The middle photo shows the teepee interior.

follows on the outdoor wooden patio at the adjacent River Ranch Saloon. Western-style dining marks the Westgate Smokehouse Grill menu, and the Deli at the General Store is stocked with fixings like chili, cornbread, hot sauces and trail mixes to either cook up in lodging quarters or for snacks. Another store offers Western attire. There are also more traditional recreational features, like a marina with invigorating swamp buggy and airboat rides plus boat rentals in the historic, winding Kissimmee River (which used to bring supplies to frontier-era dwellers). There’s a nine-hole golf course and miniature golf. Tennis, swimming pool, bike rentals, rockclimbing wall, horseshoes, game room and fitness center are also available. The kids’ bounce house in the Adventure Park is a recent addition. The Kids’ Corral features

Western-style arts and crafts. Rustic, ranch-style accommodations include luxe teepees adorned with Native American symbols plus refrigerator, microwave, fireplace and other amenities that were installed just two years ago, glamping in luxury tents, Western-themed lodge rooms, cabins, rail cars and cottages plus RV and tent camping. Package plans were recently expanded with more in the offing soon. With so many activities to enjoy, guests on bikes, in golf carts and on foot crisscross the area, easily exchanging shouts of “Howdy!” “People come together here, make new friends,” says general manager and rodeo announcer Ray Duncan. “The natural beauty of the property, being connected to nature and celebrating the American cowboy are all part of the entire atmosphere.”

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« around town

at P I V a Be stival. the fe a 4-pack at win Enter to om ntchild.c e r a p fl w s

St. Andrew Festival brings the fun In Cape Coral, the St. Andrew Catholic School Festival is as popular as any county fair. It’s been entertaining families since 1992 with a weekend of carnival rides, festival food and live entertainment. Headlining this year’s event are the Sarah Hadeka Band on Friday night and the Jory Lyle Band on Saturday. There’s also a silent auction and $10,000 raffle. This year, the festival runs January 17-20. Military and first responders may buy a one-day ride bracelet for $40 on Saturday, January 19. The best deal might be the 4-Day Festival Ride Bracelet, which is $55 when purchased by January 16. Get details at standrewcs.org/about-us/festival.

Enjoy aquatic acrobatics at the Water Circus Cirque Italia, the traveling circus that features a custom water stage that holds 35,000 gallons of water, entertains guests with aerial acts, hand balancing, contortionists and many more surprise performances. The Water Circus will be at JetBlue Park at Fenway South in Fort Myers on January 17-20, then in Punta Gorda on February 7-10. Tickets range from $10 to $50. Shows are at 7:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday, January 17-18, at 1:30, 4:30 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday, January 19, and at 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. Sunday, January 20. Get details at cirqueitalia.com/the-tours/gold. . 52 » JANUARY 2019 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

Get kids and teens outdoors at Rookery Bay

Teens with an interest in birds (or simply the outdoors) might enjoy the Festival of Birds at the Rookery Bay National Estuarine Research Reserve in Naples this month. It’s a threeday event designed for adults, but outdoorsy older kids might enjoy many of the field trips. For example, there’s a canoe trip into Big Cypress National Preserve that’s free and a swamp tromp that’s $20. And year-round, all ages enjoy the reserve’s Environmental Learning Center, which has touch tanks and crafts. Science Saturdays are also family-oriented with special activities, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. through April. .

calendar »

PRESCHOOL & VPK

Friday, Jan. 4 Friday Night Concert Series » 6-9 p.m. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. In the Restaurant Piazza. Live music every Friday. miromaroutlets.com. First Friday Art Night » 7-9:30 p.m. Norris Center, 755 Eighth Ave. S., Naples. On the first Friday of the month, learn a new art form. January 4: Year of the Pig Painting. February 1: Quilled Card. Bring a date or bring the family (ages 8 and older). $35. Registration required. 239-213-3058 Fort Myers Seafood & Music Festival » January 4-6. Downtown Fort Myers, 1375 Monroe St., Fort Myers. Enjoy seafood, meat and vegetarian dishes cooked onsite. Live music, a marketplace of arts, crafts and specialty items. Hours are 4-10 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday. General admission is free; VIP tent is $75.

Saturday, Jan. 5 5K Family Fun Run » 7 a.m. CenturyLink Sports Complex/ Hammond Stadium, 14100 Six Mile Cypress Parkway, Fort Myers. Benefits Florida Coalition Against Human Trafficking. $35 for adults $35, $20 for students with ID, free for children younger than 10. getmeregistered.com/familyfunrunfl Naples New Year’s Art Show » 10 a.m.-5 p.m. January 5-6. Fifth Avenue South, Naples. See some 250 professional artists and their works from around the country. naplesart.org/ naples-new-years-art-show

DANCE

Celebrating Since 1951

All Ages

Classical Ballet Pointe Tap Jazz Hip Hop Modern Acrobatics Children’s Work

(239)334-3274 www.dancebochette.com NEWBORN CARE

Storytime & Activities: “Clifford the Big Red Dog” » 11 a.m. Barnes & Noble at Coconut Point, 23130 Fashion Drive, Estero. Enjoy a story and get a coupon from the Cafe for a grilled cheese sandwich with milk or juice for $4.

Sunday, Jan. 6 Car Cruise-In » 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. Near WINK Playland. Classic, exotic and custom cars on display.

Monday, Jan. 7 Free programs at “Ding” Darling » 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. J. N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge, 1 Wildlife Drive Sanibel. At 9:30 a.m., meet at the flagpole for the Birds & Wildlife Tour, a car caravan tour of the refuge. Refuge entrance fees apply. At 11 a.m., go inside the visitor center for the Horseshoe Crabs Program. At 1 p.m., Gators & Crocs at the Crossdike Pavilion on Wildlife Drive. Fun for all ages. Bring sunscreen, insect repellent, water and binoculars. fws. gov/refuge/JN_Ding_Darling

Tuesday, Jan. 8 Free programs at “Ding” Darling » 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. J. N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge, 1 Wildlife Drive Sanibel. The birding tour is at 8:30 a.m. At 9:30 a.m., join a naturalist on a bike tour of the refuge ($1 entrance fee, bring your bike); meet at the flagpole (bring sunscreen, water and insect repellent). At 11 a.m., there’s a nature photography lesson. And 1-2:30 p.m., take the guided Calusa/Shell Mound Trail Tour ($5 per vehicle). fws.gov/refuge/JN_Ding_Darling

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 53

« calendar Meet Luna the Owl » 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Fishermen’s Village, 1200 W. Retta Esplanade, Punta Gorda. 800-639-0020. After meeting Luna, enjoy the island sounds of Jimmy G, noon-3 p.m. at Coffee Café or live music by Bruce & Tiki D in the Center Court. fishville.com

Thursday, Jan. 10 Improv for the Whole Family » 6:30-8:30 p.m. Alliance for the Arts, 10091 McGregor Blvd., Fort Myers. Come alone or bring the family (for ages 11 and older). Through exercises and games, learn the “rules” of Improv, agreement, listening, story, teamwork and the basics of scenes. Anyone can do it. Register at artinlee.org/education.

Saturday, Jan. 12 Cape Coral Arts & Music Festival » 10 a.m.-9 p.m. January 12 and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. January 13. Cape Coral Parkway, Cape Coral. Free. Art and Fine Craft in Cambier Park » 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Cambier Park, 755 Eighth Ave. S., Naples. Free admission and parking. This event repeats on February 9, March 9, April 13. Bonita Springs National Art Festival » 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Riverside Park, 10451 Old 41 Road, Bonita Springs. National Anthem Auditions » 1-3 p.m. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. Contestants compete to sing the Anthem at a 2019 Minnesota Twins spring training game. Near Bloomingdale’s The Outlet Store. miromaroutlets.com SWFL UFO & Paranormal Con » 10 a.m.-7:30 p.m. January 12-13. Araba Shrine Temple, 2010 Hanson St., Fort Myers. $15 daily admission, $10 for students and military, free for ages 12 and younger. Vendors, authors and talks about UFOs, aliens, metaphysics and paranormal activities. Featured guests include John Zaffis, from SyFy Channel’s “Haunted Collector,” and Alien Hunter Derrel Sims. swflupc.com Science Saturday » 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. Kids learn doing interactive science projects. miromaroutlets.com Storytime and Activities Featuring “Love, Z” » 11 a.m. Barnes & Noble at Coconut Point, 23130 Fashion Drive, Estero. A robot named Z discovers a message signed “Love, Beatrice,” and decides to find out what “love” means.

Sunday, Jan. 13 Free “Ding” Darling Programs » 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m. J. N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge, 1 Wildlife Drive, Sanibel. Free. At 11 a.m., there’s the Endangered Species Program in the visitor’s center. Learn about endangered species of Southwest Florida and what you can do to help them. At 1 p.m., learn about Florida Manatees; meet at Crossdike and bring water, sunscreen and insect repellent. Both are fun for all ages. 239-472-1100.

Monday, Jan. 14 DivorceCare » 7 p.m. Destiny Church Naples, 6455 Hidden Oaks Lane, Naples. Divorce care group led by people who have been there and rebuilt their lives. Led by Tess Skocik.

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Tuesday, Jan. 15 Tropical Island Dinner Dance to benefit early childhood education » 5:30-9:30 p.m. Heritage Bay Golf & Country Club, 10154 Heritage Bay Blvd., Naples. $60 per person. The ExEL Foundation is sponsoring a dinner dance to raise money for tuition assistance for early childhood education in Collier County. Music by Latitude., reception, 50/50 raffle, plated dinner and dancing. Dancing Contest and Head-Dress Contest at 8:30 p.m. 847-404-2620. exeldinnerdance.flipcause.com

Thursday, Jan. 17 “Getting To Know You” Club Tour & Lunch » Noon every third Thursday through season. Boys & Girls Club of Collier County, 7500 Davis Blvd., Naples. Hello! Get to know the club and its program. Lunch provided free by The Blue CanTEEN, Boys & Girls Club of Collier County’s food truck. RSVP via Eventbrite or email Heidi Overman at hoverman@bgccc.com. Cirque Italia » January 17-20. JetBlue Park at Fenway South, 11800 Fenway South Drive, Fort Myers. A traveling circus that features a custom water stage. $10-$50. Shows: 7:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday, January 17-18, at 1:30, 4:30 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday, January 19, and at 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. Sunday, January 20. cirqueitalia.com/the-tours/gold St. Andrew Festival » January 17-20. St. Andrew Catholic School, 1509 S.E. 27th St., Cape Coral. Carnival rides, festival food and live entertainment. There’s also a silent auction and $10,000 raffle. Ride bracelets available in advance. Get details at standrewcs.org/about-us/festival.

Friday, Jan. 18 Garden Brothers Circus » January 18-20. Hertz Arena, 11000 Everblades Parkway, Estero. Shows are 7:30 p.m. Friday; 1:30, 4:30 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday; 1, 4 and 7 p.m. Sunday. Free kid tickets are available for ages 3-13 at nearby businesses and schools. Adult tickets are $28-$38, but the first 100 to buy tickets get more than half off. Ages 2 and younger are free unless they require their own seat. gardenbroscircus.com Sensational Sharks » 10-11 a.m. Lovers Key State Park, 8700 Estero Blvd., Fort Myers Beach. Learn about sharks from a park ranger. Reservations required. 239-463-4588. Regular entrance fees apply.

Saturday, Jan. 19 Bacon Jam » 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Centennial Park, 2000 W. First St., Fort Myers. More than 20 food and beverage vendors. Each food vendor has at least one dish with bacon. Plus, live music and activities for kids, including climbing wall, bounce house. Beginner Swamp Walk » 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary & Audubon Blair Center, 375 Sanctuary Road W., Naples. Go beyond the boardwalk and get your feet wet on this adventure into an area not usually explored by visitors. $85 for ages 10 and older, $80 for Audubon members, $70 for Corkscrew Friends. Register via Eventbrite. Harry Chapin Hunger Walk » 8:30 a.m. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. Near WINK Playland. Teams walk 2 miles around the mall to raise money for the Harry Chapin Food Bank. miromaroutlets.com

calendar » Miromar Outlets Turns 20! » January 19 and 20. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road Estero. Miromar Outlets celebrates its 20th anniversary with a weekend of live entertainment, games, giveaways and fun for the whole family. miromaroutlets.com Run to Home Base » 7 a.m. JetBlue Park at Fenway South, 11500 Fenway South Drive, Fort Myers. Registration starts at 7 a.m. Race is at 8:30 a.m. A run to honor and support veterans and their families. All proceeds benefit Home Base’s Southwest Florida initiatives. Participants choose from a 5K run/walk, a 1-mile walk and a 100-yard kids’ dash. giving.massgeneral.org/ home-base/run-to-home-base-florida Storytime & Activities: “The Duchess and Guy: A Rescueto-Royalty Puppy Love Story” » 11 a.m. Barnes & Noble at Coconut, 23130 Fashion Drive, Estero. When he was a pup, Guy was like any dog in the shelter dreaming of a forever home, but all that changed when Meghan adopted him. Inspired by Meghan Markle and her rescue dog, Guy.

Friday, Jan. 25 Caloosahatchee Celtic Festival » January 25-26. Centennial Park, 2000 W. First St., Fort Myers. Live entertainment and vendors. $5 for adults on Friday, $12 on Saturday; free for ages 12 and younger. Lawn chairs and blankets welcome. No cools. No dogs. Hours: 5-10 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday. 941-625-8544 or 239-321-7530. Daddy-Daughter Date Night » 6-9 p.m. Cape Coral Yacht Club, 5819 Driftwood Parkway, Cape Coral. An enchanted evening for girls (ages 4 and older) and their dads, includes music, dancing, door prizes, catered appetizers, refreshments and a special photo by a professional photographer. $50 per couple for residents, $60 for nonresidents, $15 for each additional girl. Registration required. 239-574-0804. facebook. com/events/1097342133782154

Naples Concert Band Concert in the Park » 2-4 p.m. Cambier Park, Park St., Naples. Features alto saxophonist Craig Christman and “a sister act” of Jenny Bintliff, vocalist, and Julile Meschko, flutist. Free, donations appreciated. 239-263-9521. naplesconcertband.org

Ghost Walk » 6:45-8 p.m. Koreshan State Park, 3800 Corkscrew Road, Estero. Experience the history of this unusual community come to life as actors in period costumes portray the founding of the Koreshan Unity Settlement. Walk along candlelit pathways, seeing and hearing the “Koreshans” tell their own stories. Enjoy a treat made from a Koreshan recipe and watch as the Fairbanks Morse diesel engine lights up the night. Shows begin every 15 minutes 6:45-8 p.m. on January 25-26 and February 1-2. Tickets are $25, limited to 30 per performance and available for purchase at friendsofkoreshan. org/product/ghost-walk-tickets.

Monday, Jan. 21

Saturday, Jan. 26

Sunday, Jan. 20

Caribbean Cruise-In Car Shows » 4-7 p.m. Parrot Key Caribbean Grill & the Original Shrimp Dock, 2500 Main St., Fort Myers Beach. See street rods, classics, Corvettes, antiques and more. Live music, food and drinks and lots of cars. Free. Ham It Up! Day Camp » 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Alliance for the Arts, 10091 McGregor Blvd. Fort Myers. Lee County schools are closed for the day. So the Alliance is offering a day packed with storytelling, movement, dance and performing experiences that young artists will love. No experience required. For students in grades 1-6. $50 for members, $65 for nonmembers. Register at artinlee.org/hamitup

Wednesday, Jan. 23 Royal Palm Academy Admissions Open House » 9-11 a.m. Royal Palm Academy, 16100 Livingston Road, Naples. Meet the head of school and administrative staff, learn about the programs and future plans, school happenings, and hear testimonials from current parents. Refreshments to be served. Royal Palm is a private independent Catholic school for grades preK-8. Register at 239-594-9888.

Thursday, Jan. 24 “Peter Pan Jr.” the Musical » 7:30 p.m. January 24-25. North Fort Myers High School, 5000 Orange Grove Blvd., North Fort Myers. The Red Knight Theatre department presents the children’s musical, “Peter Pan Jr.” All tickets are $5 and are available at the door starting at 5:30 p.m. Children younger than 12 who come in Peter Pan inspired costumes receive $2 off. Doors open at 6 p.m., show starts at 6:30 p.m.

Barnes & Noble Puzzle Party » 2 p.m. Barnes & Noble at Coconut Point, 23130 Fashion Drive, Estero. Celebrate National Puzzle Month with this all-ages event. Includes activities from Curious Jane Magazine, crosswords, word searches, a puzzle tournament and jigsaw puzzles. ClamJam of Southwest Florida Seafood & Music Festival » 10 a.m.-7 p.m. January 26, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. January 27. German American Social Club, 2101 S.W. Pine Island Road, Cape Coral. Music, entertainment, food and vendors. $10 at the gate; free for ages 12 and younger. No coolers, no pets. clamjamswfl.com Key Marco Cat Returns » 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Marco Island Historical Museum, 180 S. Heathwood Drive. The Key Marco Cat and other rare 500- to 1,500-year-old Pre-Columbian Native American artifacts discovered on Marco Island in 1896 are showcased in an exhibit from January 2019 to April 2021. The grand opening event is January 26 during regular museum hours. The artifacts are on loan from the Smithsonian Institution. Museum hours: 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday. Free admission. 239-389-6447. themihs.org Kiwanis Calusa BUG Chase 5K » 7 a.m.-noon. Calusa Nature Center & Planetarium, 3450 Ortiz Ave. Fort Myers. The Fort Myers Metro-McGregor Kiwanis organizes this race to benefit the club’s BUG (Bring Up Grades) Program and other local club-sponsored youth service projects. Registration begins at 7 a.m., race at 8 a.m. Race day registration is $35 for adults, $25 for ages 17 and younger, discounts for advanced registration. Register online at ftmyerstrackclub.com. metro-mcgregor.com or calusanature.org Quince Dreams: A Quinceanera Expo » 1 p.m. Vineyards Country Club, 400 Vineyards Blvd., Naples. A show for quinces and their entourage. Strolling and runway fashion, live music, entertainment, choreography, food and cake samplings, door

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 55

« calendar prizes and more. $10 for two in advance, plus register in advance to receive a Princess Goody Bag; $8 at the door.

Wednesday, Feb. 2

Twisted Strings » 5 p.m. Top Rocker Field at Six Bends, 9501 Thunder Road, Fort Myers. A music festival that fuses classical instruments with jazz, blues, soul, hip-hop, rock and world music, all on stringed instruments. Food trucks. $35 per person, free for ages 5 and younger. Bring blankets or low beach chairs. No coolers or outside food and beverages. Gates open 4 p.m.

ArtFest Fort Myers » 10 a.m.-5 p.m. February 2-3. Downtown Fort Myers. In addition to 200 artists and their works, this art festival also has a lot for kids: Publix Art Yard where you can create your own art, a kids-only shopping zone with pieces from festival artists for $5, chalk art and an Art Under 20 exhibit and competition. artfestfortmyers.com

Sunday, Jan. 27

Wednesday, Feb. 6

Free Art Demonstrations » Noon-4 p.m. Marco Island Center for the Arts, 1010 Winterberry Drive, Marco Island. The center and Dillman’s Creative Arts Foundation present a day of free art demonstrations and a reception for artists and their friends. Demonstrations start every hour on the hour. Free, but reservations required. 239-394-4221. marcoislandart.org

Drug House Odyssey Family Night: It’s Time to Talk! » 5-7 p.m. Lee Civic Center, 11831 Bayshore Road, North Fort Myers. A real-life depiction about the dangers of underage drinking and drinking and driving, this walk-through play is an opportunity to talk with your kids about making good choices. Not recommended for children younger than 8 because of the graphic nature. Sponsored by the Lee County Coalition for a Drug-Free Southwest Florida. Free. drugfreeswfl.org.

Gumbo Fest » 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Shell Factory & Nature Park, 2787 N. Tamiami Trail, North Fort Myers. Live entertainment, gumbo and a $5,000 reverse raffle. Free admission to the festival; kids get free admission to the nature park with a paid adult admission. All event proceeds benefit the Nature Park & Environmental Education Foundation.

Thursday, Jan. 31 Budget Clinic » 5:30 p.m. Lee County Department of Human and Veteran Services, 2440 Thompson St., Fort Myers. Free. Gives attendees the tools to better manage the family budget.

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Saturday, Feb. 9 125th Anniversary of the Koreshan Unity in Estero » 8 a.m.-noon. Koreshan State Park, 3800 Corkscrew Road, Estero. Free with park admission. Mark the 125th anniversary of the Koreshan Unity Settlement being established in the Estero area with a festival that includes historic tours, presentations, music, a Cyrus Teed Look-alike Contest, as well as select food vendors. friendsofkoreshan.org

Maria Jimenez-Lara is the Chief Executive Officer of the Naples Children & Education Foundation, the founding organization of the Naples Winter Wine Festival.

voices »

GUEST COLUMNIST

Wine festival targets children’s mental health R esearch shows that 1 in 10 young people will struggle with a mental health issue before the age of 10, regardless of race and income, and half of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by the age of 14. Furthermore, it is estimated that two to three children in every American classroom suffer from some type of social-emotional condition, the vast majority of whom never receive professional care. With this urgent need for expanded access to mental and behavioral health care for at-risk children, the Naples Children & Education Foundation is targeting children’s mental health for its annual Fund a Need initiative at the 2019 Naples Winter Wine Festival on January 25-27. Mental health issues cut across all families, all communities. This year’s Fund a Need initiative will support early identification, expert diagnosis, and effective treatment of childhood psychiatric and learning disorders needed in our community along with taking away the stigma for children and their families and empowering them with help, hope and answers. NCEF annually identifies a highneed service category in Collier County as its Fund a Need priority and asks its supporters to help fill those gaps

through contributions. The 2018 Fund a Need initiative brought in more than $2.3 million for childhood hunger and expanded oral health care, ensuring more at-risk children will have access to nutritious food and proper oral health care. How can you help? Throughout the month of January, you may donate at napleswinefestival.com. Here’s specifically how individual contributions can make a difference: » Provide a bilingual psychologist for ongoing mental health services in schools and in healthcare clinics » Provide a school liaison staff member to help children with mental health needs cope in a school setting » Provide pediatric patients an integrated intervention visit at the time of their primary care appointment » Provide mental health assessments for children in need » Provide mental health educational programming for at-risk teens » Provide social-emotional screenings — designed to identify children who may have or are at risk of having social-emotional and behavioral delays. Mental health is one of NCEF’s seven strategic, multi-partner initiatives, which address children’s overall health needs from head to toe. Dubbed “Beautiful Minds,” the initiative aims to fundamentally transform and expand

mental health care for at-risk children by strengthening links among local health care providers, community mental health professionals, social services and the public-school system. Under NCEF’s leadership, the David Lawrence Center, Florida State University College of Medicine, Golisano Children’s Hospital of Southwest Florida, Healthcare Network of Southwest Florida and National Alliance on Mental Illness collaborated to reduce and eliminate duplication of services, maximize resources and increase the availability of high quality, best-practice approaches. This innovative and ground-breaking coalition has created Collier County’s first integrated care system, an organized coordination of primary and behavioral healthcare. Integrating mental health and primary care services in a culturally competent model produces the best outcomes and proves the most effective approach to caring for children with multiple healthcare needs. Diagnosing and treating problems early can make the biggest difference for children and for their families. To learn more about how you can help us expand access to mental and behavioral health care for at-risk children in our community, contact Sarah Zaiser at sarah@napleswinefestival.com or 239-514-2239.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » JANUARY 2019 » 57

» a father’s view

Jim Dwyer is a Southwest Florida father of three boys.

JIM DW Y ER

College madness

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GETTY IMAGES

ur family got through this holiday season with a little extra to celebrate. Our oldest son, Jimmy, successfully graduated from college. The best part of this story is that he also already has a job. As we relish in this accomplishment by our oldest, we are right back in the process with our middle son, Tiernan. If you have more than one child, you don’t need me to tell you how different one is from the other. Whatever the reasons for it, there is no denying this, and it provides us challenges as we parents move through the stages of their lives. Jimmy is one of those kids who kind of always knew what he wanted to do with his life. As a sixth-grader, he first read the book “The Intelligent Investor.” What could possibly cause a 12-yearold to become enthralled by what is essentially a 640-page textbook is beyond me. But enthralled he was, and between that first reading and today, he has re-read the tome at least three more times and referenced the material therein countless others. For him, college was straightforward. His major was set and off he went to follow his path toward getting his finance degree. With Tiernan, we are in a bit of a different place. He does not have a strong drive toward a career, which in his young life still seems far off. It’s rushing at him despite that. As a high-school senior, he has had to work on college applications and try to define some criteria for a school he will eventually attend while not having a firm grasp on a major direction. The college application season is stressful on the kids and the parents. We

made it through a few rounds of SAT and ACT tests until Tiernan felt he had reached his highest testing outcome. We have visited several campuses and heard about how they are really the best school for our son. We have negotiated the application processes and more than once looked at each other wondering why they need so much information. Tiernan has selected a degree to note on applications, though we fully expect that to change. Completed, submitted, and now … we wait. As Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.” Yeah, no kidding. While a couple of the schools he applied to have specific dates that they release their acceptance letters, others are on a rolling process. Those are great, because Tiernan has already received approval from one and therefore knows he will make it to college and not have to live in

our basement. But that process is also the worst because there is no telling when the decisions will come. Each day that passes, we see a friend of his whose parent posts their excitement that their kid got into (fill in the blank) University. And Tiernan waits. We ask him if he has checked with the school. He has. Has he checked his email? Yes. Nothing? Nothing. Tiernan is anxious waiting for the decisions, and so are we. I am certain that we are making things worse with all our questions. In the end, I trust that Tiernan will end up in a college where he will be happy and will find a place to fit in and be himself. With any luck, at college he will quickly start to find the direction he wants for a career and life beyond school. In the meantime, we will patiently wait for the decisions and relish the time we have left with Tiernan living at home.

N Fo ow r J En an ro ua llin ry g !

“Within The Child Lies The Fate Of The Future” Maria Montessori

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Licensed with the State of Florida #C08LE737378 Renaissance School is a Florida not for profit corporation 501(c)3, Renaissance School does not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, or ethnic origin.

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We are proud to be America’s newest and most beautiful hospital! It’s an honor to receive this award. This award belongs to the citizens of Southwest Florida. If not for your generosity and support over the years, the Golisano Children’s Hospital of Southwest Florida would not exist. This celebration is about you—our community—and your generosity. Your generosity and sense of community made this beautiful hospital a reality.

leehealth.org/childrens-health