swine 2022 issue 01 – belonging

swine swine

acknowledgement of country

The team at swine magazine would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation, who are the Traditional Owners of the land on which the Swinburne Student Union’s offices are situated. We pay our respects to their Elders, past, present, and emerging.

We also respectfully acknowledge Swinburne’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students, staff, alumni, partners, and visitors.

We extend this respect to the Traditional Owners of lands across so-called Australia. We recognise that sovereignty was never ceded. This land always was and always will be Aboriginal land.

If you are a commencing or continuing student and identify as Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander, and you would like to access cultural and academic support while studying at Swinburne University, we encourage you to connect with the Moondani Toombadool Centre and the Indigenous Student Services team.

In addition, students, staff, and the public can also access information on the Moondani Toombadool Centre website, which explains in depth the many focus areas that the Moondani Toombadool Centre has responsibility for. Lastly, all students studying at Swinburne University are highly encouraged to complete the Student Indigenous Cultural Competency module on Canvas.

The Moondani Toombadool Centre is committed to institutional transformation where Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander self-determination and knowledges are the foundations on which Swinburne leads educational change.

The Indigenous Student Services team at the Moondani Toombadool Centre provides services to Indigenous students, including oncampus, online, and community learners, to be in control of their own studies. Students can receive assistance with pre-enrolment, subject selection, orientation, and graduation, as well as plans for life after studying. They ensure students’ education and training experiences are positive, inclusive, and successful.

The Moondani Toombadool Centre is a transformational leader grounded in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander knowledges.

Established in 2018, the Moondani

Toombadool Centre is responsible for all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander matters at Swinburne, including governance, student services, teaching and learning, research, staff, culture, engagement, and governance.

The Hawthorn campus also has an Indigenous Student Lounge located at AD226, and there are Indigenous Student Services offices located at Croydon (CB106) and Wantirna (WD258). Please feel free to drop in and network with other Indigenous students in a quiet and culturally safe environment.

Information taken from the ‘Moondani

Toombadool Centre’ and ‘Indigenous Student Services’ website (https://tinyurl.com/wuypfsy). Written in consultation with the Moondani Toombadool Centre.

meet the team

Hi everyone! My name is Adele and I’ll be taking care of the designs for swine. I’m a Product Design Engineering student who loves everything creative, so I’m excited to create beautiful graphics that speak to the readers and also help contributors express themselves. I’m keen for the year ahead and can’t wait to start getting creative!

Hello! I’m Zoe (she/her) and I’m the editor of swine’s print magazines!

I’m a Media & Comms student who’s had a go at most areas of media and of comms and discovered a love of editing. I’m so, so excited to get to know and collaborate with all of you to create something funky together!

Feel free to reach out and say hi whenever! In person, you’ll be able to pick me out by my extensive floral wardrobe :)

Hey everyone! My name is Jess and I am your News Editor for swine!

I am in my final year studying Media & Comms and have been a part of the amazing swine family for almost a year now.

When I’m not working or studying you can find me online shopping for bed linen I can’t afford, having a wine with my friends, or on the couch with a good book. I am also notoriously known for my home-made espresso martinis and deep appreciation for Taylor Swift.

Zoe Sorenson, Print Editor

Adele Easton, Designer

Jessica Norris, News Editor

editor’s letter

Zoe Sorenson

Hello!

Welcome to another year with swine! I’m Zoe, the new Print Editor of this magazine, and I’m so excited to have this opportunity and be here writing this letter.

The theme of this magazine is belonging, and it felt really fitting for our first edition of 2022. As the team was discussing what we wanted this issue to be about, I thought back on how I was feeling as a student and a lot of the same threads seemed to pop up. It’s interesting to me how this last year or so I’ve been more connected with uni than ever before – I got involved at Swinburne as a placement student, I joined clubs, I contributed to this magazine! At the same time, it’s never been so out of reach. Even more than just uni, though, I’ve been reflecting on my relationships and loved ones and what it means to belong.

I was hoping this theme might resonate with people and, woah. I’ve been absolutely floored by the number of people who’ve put themselves out there to get in touch and contribute. You’ll find everything from poetry to illustrations to think pieces within these pages. And each person has had such a unique and delightful take on belonging and how that can manifest – we have aliens and we have food, we have people and we have ourselves. We have connection

It’s been an incredible experience connecting with everyone involved in the process of getting this magazine here into your hands (whether literally or figuratively). I’ve had the

pleasure of working directly with everyone, from our talented student contributors, to our dedicated sub-editors, to my wonderful team here at swine. The thing I love most about being an editor is the collaboration – creating something fantastic with other people and helping them realise their visions of getting their work out into the world. This magazine is for you students, and there’ll always be a place here for you with swine if you have something you want to say.

I hope you enjoy issue 01 of 2022, and maybe feel inspired to share a little belonging with someone else.

Happy reading, Zoe :)

president’s address

Nidzam Shah Hussain

Hello and welcome, Swinburne students, to semester one, 2022! My name is Nidzam Shah Hussain and I am excited to be your Swinburne Student Union (SSU) President for 2022.

The SSU is and always will be the only independent, student-run representation at Swinburne University, running welfare services, education-related initiatives, and events. We are here to support and enhance the entirety of your Swinburne journey, and that is why we provide many services that ALL students can access, such as free daily breakfasts, weekly BBQs, the food bank, printing services, events and so much more (including the magazine you are reading right now!).

I am proud to say that the SSU is always championed by a group of diverse, inclusive and progressive students that ensures no one gets left behind. That is why we have many education and welfare collectives that cater for all walks of life. There is support available for international students, postgraduate students, First Nations students, women and many more (check out our website for a full list of our collectives).

2021 shaped up to be an equally tough year for everyone, and the SSU has once again stepped up to fight for student rights. We successfully campaigned for the return of the GPA Exclusion and No Fails Policy; we saved the Women’s and Queer Safe Spaces from being shut down by Swinburne University; and we secured the return of Canvas access for international students, who had been locked

out from continuing their classes for late fee payments during a global pandemic. No doubt 2022 will have its own set of challenges, but have confidence that the SSU will be here to face these head-on as we continue to support Swinburne students – be it online or on campus.

One way you can support us in delivering these campaigns is by signing up for our membership. For $25 a year, you get discounted drinks at the Hammer & Swine, free lunches, discounts from our online and retail partners, free daily printing, goodie bags, exclusive SSU merchandise and much more. With your financial support, we can also continue to provide many essential services to Swinburne students as they arise.

Be sure to check us out on Facebook and Instagram for the latest updates (in fact, go follow us now while you are reading this!), and get more comprehensive info on our website. Feel free to reach out to us at any time, through our socials or via email. We are open to taking in feedback or even just having a chat. At the SSU, there is always a place for you. We are here for students, by students.

PS We have tonnes of great parties, events and initiatives planned for 2022 – let’s hope we have a great one this year. See you soon! <3

In solidarity,

Nidzam Shah Hussain President Swinburne Student Union (SSU)

pastry in a place called home

Madison Bryce

In the old wooden kitchen of my Gran and Grandad’s house, with the fire stoked and flickering, the grandchildren huddle around the circular table with sleeves rolled up. I, the youngest, stand on a chair to reach the bench, my apron falling about my ankles.

Gran pulls the puff pastry out of the freezer and presents it before us. We let the icy sheets thaw for a few impatient minutes before lumping hefty amounts of flour on top and

rolling it out with glass bottles. We press down with as much strength as we can muster, certain to get it just right. By this point, we are covered in flour. It billows out before us, and little giggles escape as we spot it in our hair and on our clothes and faces.

With the pastry thinned, the older kids pile on canned apple pieces to make pies. They clamp the pastry closed with a dough press and glaze them orange with the eggs collected

from the chicken pen that morning. The younger ones, including myself, take cookie cutters in the shape of farm animals to slice through the sheets.

Then, all the treats are lined up on a tray and placed in the oven. We watch the pastry rise through the glass, our little faces warm and pressed close.

When we get bored, we hurry out into the paddocks to play. The chickens are scratching up the dirt and we busy ourselves by balancing on barrels or dangling off makeshift swings. Finished reading his newspapers, Grandad is also out in the yard, watering plants and chopping wood.

We climb the peppercorn tree, rough bark scraping against our supple pink skin. There are wooden planks hammered haphazardly into the trunk, remnants of a treehouse that never came to fruition. Our youthful gracelessness leaves us scratched and bruised but we don’t mind. We are, at heart, creatures of nature. We are of the dry paddocks and meandering creeks. The midnight bonfires and the sweltering sun.

As the sun sets, the smell of freshly baked goods beckons us back into the kitchen, the heart and home of our childhood. Goldenbrown and perfectly crisp, we hardly wait for them to cool before biting into them with a satisfying crunch.

In years to come, when we grow older, a fine layer of dust settles over the house. The walls and ceilings begin caving in and the fires can no longer outmatch the cold. The old piano falls out of tune, and we fall out of our childish habits. We no longer traipse down to the creek

bed to throw stones and catch tadpoles. The tree branches are left empty, the swing ropes, limp and torn.

The pastry sheets stay frozen. Eventually, our grandparents move, and the land is sold. The bulldozed house and felled trees make way for a new assortment of modern houses that lack the charm of their predecessor. The land is just a whisper of what it once was. But today, we reminisce.

The grandchildren huddle around again, chatting excitedly about who we once were, the memories pulled swiftly from the recesses of our mind at each family gathering. We talk of the good old days, when things were simple and all we ever did was play. We remember it in perfect detail, like it was yesterday. Even as the years stretch on, we are still shaped by every moment. The smell of peppercorn trees and pastries and the sound of cicadas and chickens calling forth that sense of peace and homely comfort.

We were sad to see our place disappear, but home is a funny thing. You can’t move out of home. It evolves. It stretches. It travels with you in moments of reflection and familiarity. Home is not really that house by the creek with the old wooden kitchen and the baking pastries.

Home is us, together.

uninvited – december 2020

Imogen Lenore Williams

Is there a sense of knowing that comes after disaster? Do the important things come to light? Or do they instead disappear, obscured by a haze that is our own fear, as we no longer know what is right?

A party, a meeting, a greeting, a gath. What meaning do any of these things have, when you don’t know your friends on whom you can depend? Do any of them really matter?

Maybe I can just stay here and mope, because in this world that is left, I can’t really cope. Why do they seem so unaffected? So carefree, so careless, so stupid.

between sheets

Lyssa Stevens

The sheets stick to my skin as I hold back tears. It feels wrong to cry as the afternoon sun lights up the room. Goosebumps spread across my body as Andrea traces bridges between the freckles on my arm.

My eyes trail down her face. I start at the scar on her forehead, down her crooked nose, until I reach the beauty mark that decorates her chin. This face used to set off butterflies in my stomach and paint a neon pink blush across my cheeks, but now all that’s left are the dead carcasses of the butterflies and the blush that has all but chipped away.

Our eyes meet as my gaze travels back up her face. Her eyes mirror my own. Hollow. I turn my head back towards the ceiling as bile rises

into my mouth.

‘I’m sorry,’ Andrea whispers.

‘For what?’

Andrea’s finger stops on my forearm before it slowly drops to the bed. The sound of the whirring fan fills the silence. I want to speak but coherent sentences aren’t forming in my mind. I turn back towards her. Tears are gliding down her face.

‘You can’t stop what’s inevitable,’ I whisper.

She squeezes her eyes closed and bites her bottom lip. Her hands shake against her chest. Upon opening her eyes, she looks back at me.

Her fingers delicately brush away my tears. She opens her mouth to speak and, for a moment, her lips quiver too much to let her.

Her hand slips from my face. I grab her hand. ‘I know, but I—’

‘But nothing.’ I squeeze her hand then pull away. ‘Life is fleeting like that.’ My voice tiptoes towards her. She takes a few seconds before nodding.

‘Life sucks like that,’ she says, falling onto her back. We laugh, but not in the way we once did. There is no clinging onto each other until we’re gasping for air. There’s no echo that bounces off the walls. It’s an unspoken acceptance of our situation. An

acknowledgement that we no longer belong in each other’s hearts.

It’s quiet again. I want to fill in the silence with endless laughter, hushed whispers, soft touches, but all of that feels wrong to do now. Andrea sighs, before sitting up. Her feet dangle over the edge of the bed. She’s sitting so close to me, but I can’t reach her anymore. There’s a wall between us where our home used to be.

My hand crawls over to her side of the bed. The sheets are soft but they can’t compare to her hands. They are right there. But I retreat, knowing they are no longer mine to hold. Stay, I want to say.

‘You should get going,’ I say instead. ‘Don’t want to miss your flight.’

She hums in response. Her feet tap against the floor as she makes her way to the door. I watch her as her hand raises to the doorknob. She pauses and looks at me.

‘If you say you’re sorry, I won’t let you go,’ I laugh. Andrea smiles. She knows I’m not joking.

‘Thank you.’ The door clicks shut behind her.

My body is screaming at me to run after her. Hold her close and never let her go. Be selfish and make her stay. But my mind is telling me that I did the right thing. Her heart no longer lives here. So, she must follow it to where she truly belongs.

home is where the heart is!

Ivan Ong

Belonging, in the sense of the word, is to feel natural where you are. It can be found at a place, or replicated somewhere else to make you feel more at home. This very much is based on the individual. Here, you’ll see how I made Australia my new home and Swinburne a place to further nurture my wisdom.

My arrival to Australia and my first time stumbling onto Glenferrie Station to visit Swinburne was intriguing. I thought, What better way to get affiliated with the university, apart from being enrolled, than to get my student ID? As I walked around campus, I felt like there was a place for me here. I was a Swinburne student! That was my first experience of the connection I wanted with the university.

Being a cold winter morning, upon receiving my student ID, I wandered into the LateLab and sat there enjoying the heating in the building. For most Malaysians like me, winter was something that I encountered during vacations abroad. Even after being in Melbourne for four weeks to get ready for semester two, it still took me a good year to get used to the cold; but then when summer came, it was too hot. Well, at least for me. I sometimes say this is my Goldilocks syndrome with Australian weather. It certainly takes time to feel more at ease and adjust to the weather in any new place. That was my first step in making Australia a proper home.

Well, all was good when Swinburne was a place that I could go to for shelter, meeting people and enjoying my life as a student.

Come 2020, COVID happened. Suddenly, the casual chats and consultations with professors were no longer on the table. My classes, discussions and activities that I did in the classrooms of AGSE were all moved online. My days at university used to involve seeing faces and asking, ‘How’s it going today?’ followed up with my usual universal conversation starter of talking about the weather. Now, all of my time was spent at home facing the computer. If I was lucky, I saw my professor’s face and some peers that changed every unit. Half the time I didn’t even see my peers who were enrolled, attending classes. There always seemed to be an issue with the connection or camera. I didn’t have anyone to connect with and I felt I no longer belonged where I was anymore. My student ID didn’t help me much at this point in time with nowhere to go, and I realised it was available on the Swinburne app anyway.

I lost the touch of being a university student physically. Separated from the mothership, I soon felt detachment as just another international student that stayed back with family thousands of miles away when all I needed was an internet connection and a laptop. I was lucky to have my partner here with me, but the sense of connection to Australia and the home I was creating here fleeted. I struggled in class as it was only something that I had to do as part of my visa requirement to stay. I was no longer a Swinburne student, just another person in this world that was studying at Swinburne. The university had lost its splendour of being a part of me. I had no one to speak to about how I felt this slipping grasp on my

connection. Honestly, I wondered, Why am I here?

This is when I started to think about how I could conjure up this sense of belonging again. My main connection had been physical and, to be frank, the reason I came to study at Swinburne. How did I go on without that? I felt all this disengagement from and resentment towards what was happening to me, making me drift further away until I no longer belonged where I was. After experiencing this predicament, I wanted to help new students so that they did not ever have to feel the way I felt. Especially offshore students that were commencing their university experiences for the first time. I had gone through my fair share, and I thought I should put some effort in to help fellow Swinburne students feel like a part of the university regardless of where they were.

Here, things started to get more interesting. Remember how I could not network and get to know people in class because my units had different classmates that may not have wanted to engage in the same way? I found another way to meet people online at Swinburne through the Peer Mentoring Program.

I signed up and volunteered to be a Mentor to ensure students were not left lost in space: cyberspace. Swinburne may have been online during COVID, but some experiences like meeting new people and learning more about the university could still go on. Weeks and weeks went on, and being a Mentor and part of the Peer Mentoring Program eventually brought back that connection to the university. I created that sense of belonging for myself. The responsibility I had to the people I was connected with and who were counting on me

to help them transition to university life got me back on the right track.

Come 2022, via the Peer Mentoring Program, I have now gone deeper into the university and am more connected than ever. I am engaged with Student Partnerships in ways I had never imagined when I first signed up as a Mentor because of a fading sense of belonging at the university. With the same intention to connect people and help students, I also got involved in the Student Representative Council and Swinburne Leadership Hub along the way; the more people I met, the more things I uncovered about myself, and I continued building this sense that I had lost. Now, I have built a network of friendships and relationships that tie me to the university. I am certain that I do belong at Swinburne even after all the struggles that I went through. Finding my purpose helped me see this again.

I know I have rambled on for quite a bit, but I would like to give you some advice from my story: you can find your own sense of belonging anywhere. You can try to create it, or simple self-discovery and intention can lead you to it. Join a club, hub, cause or a program that you feel that your sense of self is connected to. Meeting like-minded people may just bring you that sense that you are looking for.

After all, as the saying goes, ‘Home is where the heart is’. Put your heart into something and you can make a home out of it. This is how I found my sense of belonging at Swinburne.

Swinburne’s Peer Mentoring Program is all about helping new students find their feet and meet new people. First-year Mentees are matched up with experienced student Mentors, who offer friendship and support throughout the semester.

Keep reading to hear from some of the faces involved in the program! You can head to https://swi.nu/chronus to find out more about Peer Mentoring and sign up for the semester.

Thanh Bao Ngoc Nguyen, Mentee

I really enjoy participating in programs which help me to know more people and about uni life. Moreover, I love the services of uni that help students experience the most of Swinburne. I wanted to be a Mentee because I wanted to know more about uni life.

In every meeting, I felt like I gained more knowledge. My Mentor always was satisfied to share his experiences to help me and other Mentees know more about uni. He also encouraged and advised us on how to adapt to uni. Moreover, another Mentee also shared his personal meetings with other services at Swinburne. This helped me gain more suggestions to get familiar with university.

After the program, I have stayed connected with them and I am more confident to make friends, which has become a wonderful experience for me.

Fadal Farouk, Mentor

I became a Mentor because I wanted to take every opportunity that came my way. It’s an experience that I wanted to go through to be able to make memories, enhance my skills, and also be able to give back to the university and community.

The students who were in this program had a chance to make friends by truly connecting virtually. Every second I spent through the program seemed to be a wholesome one because we were in a time of difficulty, a time of living through virtual space. I believe every moment, story and bond shared is something to cherish as it only helped each and every one of us know that someone was there for us during these hard times we face.

don’t touch that button!

Zoe Sorenson

Sometimes, I feel like an alien inside my own body. You would think that by the time you’re in charge of piloting your own spaceship that you’d understand what each of the flashing lights and fancy levers does, yet here I am.

Sometimes, I construct big protective cases over the neon buttons. I’m so unsure of what pressing this might mean or what pushing that might do that I avoid them altogether instead of – y’know – maybe breaking out the instruction manual.

Sometimes, I unlock the cases anyway and probe my skin, waiting for a reaction. I note

down my observations following proper scientific procedure: What do I feel? Is that correct? Do my results match with everyone else’s? I dissect my thoughts and feelings on an unyielding metal slab, both the abductor and the abductee.

Sometimes, I forget I even own a spaceship. Any reminder initiates the emergency protocols and I activate my invisibility shield – I don’t want to be able to look too closely, not at myself. Ignorance feels preferable to the excessive awareness. Besides, ignoring everything has gotten me this far, hasn’t it?

inner world

Sophie Robertson

The silver screen glows a hollow, bleak grey as wrinkles grow larger.

Everything will be amazing. Howling fuzzy creatures crash and thud on the tin roof, mossy algae peels like dead skin.

You’re going to feel so special. My ankles, two desert ovals, crackle with each step.

This is the year

Years on years on years of wonder, of hope and endless patience.

Down.

Vanished. The scarring spotlight shines on, leaving no room for mistake.

And you expect me to reach through and hold the hand of the blank, tired face in front of me?

I did try, I really did.

It’s better now. Somehow.

We can “connect” or something. We’ve all got the same generational scar that might not truly heal.

The anvil on your chest will stay there.

But peel that load off every once in a while. What is life?

If not a wild and spontaneous Bounty of existence?

Your rich inner world is a gift, and your hands are steady. Are you the god of a cruel world, Or a kind one?

we’re all in this together

Jessica Murdoch

I think of myself as a very independent person.

I like the freedom of making my own decisions. I’m very happy in my own company. I have much more of a JOMO than FOMO kind of vibe when I’m scrolling through people’s highlight reels on social media.

And that’s not to say I never want to do things with other people! When they are the right people, in the right circumstances, these can add up to the best experiences of life. But a lot of my choices about how I live my life reflect my independence.

Obviously, many of these ‘choices’ have been taken out of our hands over the last few years, and I think some people have assumed that the isolation may not have impacted me as strongly because of my preferences in the past. Of course, choosing to stay home on a

Friday night is not the same thing as having to stay home in a global pandemic. I don’t blame other people for thinking that (too much!), because even I had to realise that all those little bits of connection that happen in ‘normal’ life are really, actually important to me. How having those connections, especially the short, little small-talk moments that I thought I hated, are actually quite significant. As it turns out, being part of a community is important.

But really, the fallout of the pandemic has only highlighted a lot of other issues we have going on in the world, and it’s some of those broader social justice issues that have got me thinking about solidarity, connection and community a little differently.

Over the last few years especially, my work, my reading, and my understanding about activism and broader social justice – as well as

the importance of how those things require community and community care – have been bumping up a little against my feelings of independence.

I’ve had to ask myself some difficult questions. About privilege. About whether I’m living my politics. Not just acknowledging my privilege, not just holding theoretical political beliefs, but about what action I’m taking to put that theory into practice. I’ve been identifying some of the dissonance and thinking about how I can address that.

I think, historically, I have taken a weird sort of pride in my independence. Which maybe is not so surprising. We live in a context where the individual is king. Where exploitation is normalised and ‘personal responsibility’ is venerated. We demonise people expecting ‘handouts’ (i.e., support from their government, or accommodations to make the world more accessible) and we celebrate billionaires profiteering without really thinking too hard about how they make their money. In fact, I worry that we have fetishised individualism to such a degree… that shared responsibility feels like oppression to some people.

I think all of this has been true for a long time, by the way. COVID is really just making things a little harder to ignore.

‘I am often struck by the dangerous narcissism fostered by spiritual rhetoric that pays so much attention to individual self-improvement and so little to the practice of love within the context of community.’

death recently confirmed for me that I want to read more. And some of the quotes struck really powerfully, reinforcing a lot of the ideas that have been swirling through my head as I’ve been thinking about the ways I’m trying to juggle some of the dissonance between my beliefs and action.

I think it can feel kind of jarring to hear that the concept of ‘self-improvement’ is somehow being criticised. But it speaks to the individualism that many of us are encouraged to subscribe to – about how we’re encouraged to move through the world.

Think about the way, during the peak of the BLM protests, allies were encouraged to pick up books by Black authors, to learn (and unlearn) uncomfortable parts of history, and to share solidarity with Instagram posts and hashtags in bios. We should be doing those things (some are more important than others), but the way they were talked about (especially in social media spaces) was often through a self-congratulatory framework of individual self-improvement, rather than how they could lead to service of the community in need.

Radical political frameworks or ideas are often sanitised and softened to make them more palatable. Sometimes that can be because we’re making progress – as previously radical ideas become normal – but sometimes it’s because ideas are just being defanged to make them more acceptable.

I haven’t read as much bell hooks as I would like, but the outpouring of tributes at her

Even the way we have commodified ‘selfcare’ (more often framed as spending money on luxury and spoiling yourself than taking care of your needs) has just meant it’s been incorporated into the larger capitalist machine. Truthfully, having a healthy work-life balance,

adequate access to healthcare and housing, and enough time and energy to build strong community connection would make much more sense for actual self-care – but they can’t really sell that to us, right?

There are many actions I (and so many of us) have been more than happy to take over the last few years to try and protect our community, and, as hooks says, ‘Our willingness to make sacrifices reflects our awareness of interdependency.’ I think for many of us who have shown this willingness, we have been taken a little by surprise at the stark divide that has shot up between us and those who have revolted against this expectation, but it seems to me that their beliefs are the natural extension of what we have been normalising this whole time.

Capitalism has every reason to keep us divided.

I feel like I’ve had many conversations recently with people about what is driving this apparent selfishness. The closest understanding I feel like I can get to is fear. It feels like calls for ‘freedom’ are perhaps a catchphrase for anxiety about losing control. We’re afraid. Any time we have to be vulnerable with other people (because that’s what interdependency means –acknowledging needing other people and them needing us) there’s got to be some level of fear. The fear of getting it wrong. The fear of being taken advantage of or missing out. The fear of not succeeding or achieving in the way we want to, or of trying and then failing.

But this idea of individual freedom is such a self-defeating myth. Cooperation and collaboration, connection and community are

always what has protected us and helped us progress.

‘Fear of radical changes leads many citizens of our nation to betray their minds and hearts. Yet we are all subjected to radical changes every day. We face them by moving through fear. These changes are usually imposed by the status quo. For example, revolutionary new technologies have led us all to accept computers. Our willingness to embrace this “unknown” shows that we are all capable of confronting fears of radical change, that we can cope. Obviously, it is not in the interest of the conservative status quo to encourage us to confront our collective fear of love. An overall cultural embrace of a love ethic would mean that we would all oppose much of the public policy conservatives condone and support.’

I’ll keep juggling these ideas (and reading more bell hooks!) but I think it comes down to thinking about it as a difference between individuality and individualism. I can continue to celebrate my independence, while reaching out and connecting. There are a lot of changes we need to make in the world, but we can’t do it independently. ‘Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.’

(If any of these quotes interest you, they appear in All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks, which is an excellent entry point for her work.)

ramzan

Amira Akhtar

penumbra

Evelyn Lee

This piece was awarded first place in the 2021 Swinburne Sudden Writing Competition.

Content warning: This story contains graphic descriptions of an animal death and mention of intimate partner violence.

The boys tumble out of the sea, their golden limbs caught in the afternoon sun.

My boys, she thinks.

They drive silently, settling into the freeway as the sky begins to darken.

She pulls off the freeway and onto a long stretch of road lined with low-lying scrub. She flicks on her high beams and rolls down the windows. The air is warm and still. A cyclist comes around the bend; a flash of lycra in the car’s headlights. She speeds up.

The car’s headlights illuminate an irregularity in the road ahead. She slows then pulls over. It’s a wombat, knocked flat, its dark organs spewed across the road.

The wombat’s wide, blunt nose is laying in a pool of dried blood. When she gets closer she can see that there are flies nesting in the corners of its eyes. The stench of it cuts through the stillness.

There is no need to check for a joey. If there had been one, it would be dead by now.

She pulls two plastic bags from the boot of the car. Using the bags like gloves, she grasps

the wombat’s hind legs and pulls, steering it carefully into the ditch beside the road. Its organs remain.

She looks back at the road and thinks, very briefly, of her own blood smeared across the bathroom tiles; caught in the fluorescent light.

Only the top of the wombat’s back remains visible, the coarse dark hairs glinting like broken glass in the car’s headlights.

She climbs into the driver’s seat and glances back at her boys. They are both asleep. The youngest has his left hand gripped around the lip of his plastic booster seat.

Good, she thinks. Better that they didn’t see that.

folio

Sam M Johnston

The pencil scratched along the ruler as I lined up the angle. A quick flick, then rotate the page and do it again. The lines weren’t exactly straight, but that’s what I wanted. I sat in silence as the clock ticked rhythmically with my movements. I had a bit to finish before lunchtime ended but it was doable. A hand slapped me on the back, almost throwing me out of my seat. Danielle stood behind me. Her smile was almost callous without meaning to be, piercing through me to get what she wanted.

‘Maxi-man, what do you have cooking over here?’ She grabbed my paper, inspecting it from every angle before slapping it back down. ‘Yeah, it’s alright. I know you like architecture, but it’s super wonky, man. But enough of that stuff. Check this out.’

Danielle pulled out her latest sketch for her project, a beautiful rendition of a self-portrait. It may have been unfinished, but the detailed line work was incredible. Her face tilted up, vines wrapped around the design of a mirror and reached out towards her.

‘I think I’ll call it something like Entanglement. I dunno.’ She shrugged as she shoved my stuff over so she could sit down. ‘You need to work on your drawing skills, they’re pretty shit,’ she said as she continued to work.

Oh, okay, I thought to myself. Not exactly where I thought that was going.

‘I’m sure you’ll be able to best me though if you put your back into it,’ Danielle finished.

Another day, another lunchtime. Everyone chatted away as I focused on my sandwich.

Games, movies, assignments, the usual topics. Danielle and Maggie were discussing the marks they had just gotten back from their exams. Maggie was freaking out over getting a 35 out of 40. If her scores weren’t high enough, then she wasn’t good enough in her mind. I was just trying to get by in my creative arts subjects. Even though the harder sciences and languages got better final results, they weren’t my thing. Maggie leaned over.

‘Max, why are you always in the art room?’ Everyone stopped and looked at me. ‘Do you not like hanging out with us?’ I was almost at a loss for words.

‘No? I just want to get my final project done.’ I did like the peace and quiet of the art room, but that didn’t need to be my answer.

‘Why though? Arts aren’t going to land you any high marks, or a stable job.’ She replied in an instant. ‘I mean, you’re not that skilled like

Danielle, so, like, why don’t you do something that actually helps you, you know?’

I could feel a shadow drifting around me. I was too stunned to speak. Everyone nodded in agreement. Danielle boasted about how I wouldn’t catch up to her in marks. I was confused. Weren’t friends supposed to support each other?

When the day ended, Danielle walked up and tried to encourage me. ‘Forget about what Maggie said, she’s only messing with you. You know how uptight she is about marks being the be-all, end-all of year 12.’

The days passed. I stuck to the art room. I appreciated the peace more than lectures on my unit choices.

Just focus on the work. Just focus on what you

want to do.

But their voices played back in my head. Over and over and over again. I just couldn’t let them go. My hands strangled the paper, crushing it down and throwing it across the table, followed by my folio. Was she right? Were they right? Why was I here trying so hard every day?

No one walked through the art block at lunch, so I didn’t think I was causing a scene to anyone except myself.

‘I quite liked that one.’ I turned around, surprised to see my art teacher, Miss Rina, standing by the door, arms crossed alongside a disappointed smile. I hid my face from her as she dragged a seat over to the table. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ I muttered. She tilted over to get a better view of my folio, which had left a visible black scuff on the old creamy wall.

‘Doesn’t look like nothing.’ The silence hung low in the air. Her stare did not waver as I tried to fumble for an answer.

‘I just don’t think I’m good enough to be in this class!’ I turned away, trying to hold back my frustration. Miss Rina sat there for a moment. I wasn’t sure if it was in disbelief or disappointment, but her exhale was intense.

‘I overheard you and Danielle the other day, is that what this is about?’

for a minute and listen.’ She walked over and picked up my folio. ‘Open this up and look what’s inside.’

She slid the folio across the table to my hand. I looked at her. She gestured to open it. The drawings of cities were crude and unnatural. The sketches attempted to mimic the buildings I had photographed and glued in the folio, but were never perspective perfect. Countless notes and ideas littered the pages, each thought jumped from one side to the other, covering every fraction of space.

‘There’s a lot of dedication in that folio. A lot more than most people in this class, Max.’

‘But they just don’t look right! I can’t get them to look real. Everyone else can draw and paint and craft realistic stuff, but I can’t. I can’t even draw straight lines properly…’ My voice broke as I got louder.

‘Then don’t. Draw them curved. Bend them around. Realism is not your style, don’t try to force it to be.’ I didn’t know how to respond. ‘You might not have the technical skill that they do, but you have the ideas that they don’t,’ she said, pointing the blunt end of a pencil at me. ‘Some of the best I’ve seen.’

The bell rang. Miss Rina stood up and opened the door. I grabbed my folio. ‘Thank you,’ I said.

‘Sort of…’

I could feel her eyes rolling through her skull as she sighed. ‘Forget about what she said

‘Art is about learning, Max. Just because someone is talented doesn’t mean they create great work. You think you don’t deserve to be in this class, but you have more determination and passion than anyone here. That’s what I look for in my students. Just trust yourself.’ I shuffled out of the room with my work and a

lot to think about.

I have to trust myself.

The due date was closing in. The scrunchedup paper lay on the floor exactly where I left it. It watched me as I threw away my attempts at other ideas. Nothing was working.

Danielle sat across from me, her hands gliding across her canvas, painting her portrait in such realism that it was almost photographic. Suddenly, she was finished, and I was still struggling. I sighed, staring at the portrait as she left the room. I wouldn’t be able to match that.

I glanced at the paper again. It didn’t sit right with me. I scooped it up, unfolding it on the table. The original buildings were warped and distorted. Nothing looked right anymore. But it did look interesting. I walked around the table, inspecting the page from all angles. I could see it now. The buildings wrapped around one another, through the cracks and tears. I could see what I wanted it to be. I could see how I could achieve it.

Just trust yourself, I repeated in my head. Don’t focus on something you’re not.

I tilted my sheet and freehanded my lines. What did I want it to be? A world that wasn’t concrete. One that bent and shaped around the choices we made. I rotated the page again.

It all came together in the end. I spread the story across multiple sheets of paper, all rotating around, the buildings sprawling, the architecture bent with ideas. Everything

was connected. Everything flowed into itself and wrapped around the heart. The web of cityscapes stretched to the ends of the papers. I leaned into my strengths. The ideas I had. It didn’t matter if my final scores were brought down by my art subjects. I was doing what I loved.

And I was determined to show I deserved to be here too.

clubs @ swinburne

Femmes in Film

Describe your club in three words. Recognition, empowerment and unity.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

If you love watching films, enjoy having a long conversations after a film and want to see more films made by femmes, then this is the club for you.

Part of finding your people at uni involves putting yourself out there to meet others and try new experiences. Whether you’re new to Swinburne or you’ve been here for a while, there are clubs around to help you out – by students, for students.

We wanted to showcase the incredible array of clubs offered at Swinburne, so we spoke to the committees of some to give you a taste of what’s on offer. No matter where your interests lie, you’re sure to find something for you.

You can find out more and sign up to these clubs (and literally dozens of others!) at https://swi.nu/clubsearch.

If you are feminist or want to learn more about feminism and cinema history – join our club.

If you are interested in creativity, expression and creative collaborations, then join us!

If you want to support femmes either currently in or studying to be a part of the film industry, then our club is the place for you.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

In 2022, we are so looking forward to being able to host our first official in-person event! We are planning to do a film screening on campus with a little follow-up drink and discussion! We’re just so excited to see everyone in person!

Eleni Modinos, President

linktr.ee/femmesinfilmswinburne

Film & Theatre Society

Describe your club in three words. LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Our club is welcoming to everyone! From those who just want to come watch some movies and hang out with other people who also love film, to those who love theatre or want to learn a little bit of acting, or even those that just want to come down and play some theatre improv games! We want to provide the opportunity for everyone to make friends as well as connections!

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

For 2022, we aspire to encourage a creative, fun and inclusive film and theatre community within this university! We want to make events that will appeal to both film- and theatrelovers; help students make connections with other students especially after such a long period of lockdowns; and we also want to provide opportunities for students, whether this is helping people learn some acting skills, or supporting our future filmmakers in their film projects and endeavours! We’d absolutely love to make ourselves well known at Swinburne this year!!

David Novanovski, President

@Swinunifilmsociety

Swinburne Engineering Student Society (SESS)

Describe your club in three words. Professional, engaging, collaborative.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Anyone who is keen to enhance their employability, is looking to gain exposure in the STEM industry, and is seeking networking opportunities with other like-minded students as well as working professionals. We aim to provide resources and host events that are of value to students who want to get the most out of their university experience and are proactively preparing for life in the professional workforce.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

We are looking forward to reaching students from all Swinburne engineering majors through fresh, relevant events and on our social platforms – and maybe even having an excuse to dress up fancy at the end of the year…

Jonathan

Lee, President

Jess Rodrigues, Vice President

Abishaan Dushyanthan, Secretary

Stefanie Adamovskis, Treasurer

linktr.ee/swin_sess

Swinburne Islamic Society

Describe your club in three words. Swinburne Muslim community.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Muslim students and staff or anyone interested in Islam or Muslim culture.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

We are looking forward to hosting five daily prayers, Friday prayers, Eid celebrations, and also daily iftar dinners during the holy month of Ramadan at the Swinburne Muslim Prayer Room on level 3 of the George Building. We also organise meet and greets, BBQs, game nights, off-campus trips and many more fun events. Most importantly, we are a community for Muslims at Swinburne and anyone who wants to be part of it.

Marjan Rahman, President

@Swinburneislamic

@swinburne.islamic

Swinburne Sustainability Society

Describe your club in three words. Creative, innovative, action-based.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Whether you’re interested in making friends and trying new things, curious about sustainability or looking to create real change in the face of the climate crisis, this club is for you! Want to learn to recycle? Have an idea for a sustainable initiative at Swinburne? You can do this and more when you join our club, no prior experience or knowledge needed!

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

We have so much planned for 2022, including even more events and initiatives than last year. Think anything from trivia nights or seminars to nature walks and tree-planting or clean-up days. We also have some exciting sustainable initiatives planned for our Hawthorn campus that we can’t wait to see come to life.

Madison Bryce, Media & Marketing Manager

Swin ArtHub

Describe your club in three words. Artiest of Hubs.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Anyone! No degree of study is too weird to be into artsy stuff!

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

Are you interested in the experiences that fine art has to offer?

Neither are we! With all that’s going on, we’re keen to sit back, chat, and chill. Our members come from every degree and from every stage of life. Each with their unique stories to share. Founded by engineers, beset by game devs, and overrun with art students, there’s a place for anyone at ArtHub. Come see cool art, hear about hobbies, and receive free stickers.

Jimmy Trac, Secretary www.swinarthub.club

Swinburne University Psychology Association (SUPA)

Describe your club in three words. Academic, community and social.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Our club appeals to all students and alumni at Swinburne and Swinburne Online. We gain special interest from members who are interested in psychology, neuroscience and mental health. We hold both professional and social events throughout the year, which are a great opportunity for students wanting to expand their networks or just wanting a fun time.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

We are looking forward to holding more in-person COVIDSafe events during 2022! During the past two years, our club has successfully held the majority of our events online, but this year we are excited to bring you lots of in-person events and hold our yearly R U OK? Week events on campus again!

Swinburne Explorers

Describe your club in three words. Fun, adventurous and memorable (or sense of community).

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Anyone with a positive attitude and a sense of adventure. Explorers has events that anyone can get involved in, whether that’s the weekly meeting or hiking.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

With lockdowns hopefully behind us now, we are looking forward to running lots of events this year, including camping, pub crawls, hiking, and day activities such as bushwalking, rock climbing and kayaking. We also have a weekly meeting for people to come along to and hear what’s coming up in the club and catch up with friends.

Luke Dal Bosco, club member

Swinburne Explorers

Swinburne Japanese Club

Describe your club in three words. Ready to return.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Anyone who has an interest in anything to do with Japan. It could be the food, music, technology, landscape, or everything. You don’t even have to know the language, the president of the club doesn’t.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

We’re excited to have events running again on campus. From the start, we’ll have our weekly Kaiwa (conversation) events. This is where members gather and simply socialise. It gives us all a chance to make new friends, share interests and even come up with ideas for future events.

Jake Reardon, President

linktr.ee/SwinburneJapaneseClub

Swinburne History Society

Describe your club in three words. Travel through time.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Anyone who has an interest in history or wants to learn more about history. We host weekly meetings discussing various topics, typically over drinks at the Hammer & Swine. We also host movie nights and excursions to museums on occasion. If you’re interested in that, come along and we would love to meet you.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

In 2022, we’re looking forward to running bigger and better events in person. We plan on hosting a Wild West night alongside the Swinburne Film & Theatre Society with many more event ideas in the works.

Alecia Frizziero, President linktr.ee/swinhistory

Swinburne Makers & Creators Community

Describe your club in three words. Community for makers.

Who might be interested in joining your club?

Our club is for anybody who is interested in becoming part of a community with people who have crazy ideas and an interest in making and creating anything and everything. No experience required. So, if you are looking for a place to discuss interesting ideas with interesting people or talk about your latest invention or creation, come along to one of our many events we will be hosting this year.

What’s something that you’re looking forward to in 2022?

We are looking forward to growing the social aspect of our club to provide a space for people to come and discuss bizarre ideas and crazy creations with our pub nights and other events we will be running during the semester.

Zachary Rushbrook, President

i think i know now

Adrian Dixon

Jasmine stared at the crackling firepit, watching as embers lazily disappeared into the early night sky. She wondered if they ever missed the warmth of their home, or if they found new purpose among their shining brethren.

Raised voices broke her out of her trance, and she instinctively gripped the cup of tea in her hands a little tighter. The sights and sounds of the world returned to her, and she relaxed with a sigh at the familiar sight of the kingdom, far below the clifftop reprieve that her team had located.

She turned to the source of the noise, brushing her long, onyx hair out of her heterochromatic eyes. A young man casually dressed in blue and a younger woman garbed in leather armour sat next to each other, bickering like siblings. Tommy and Carla were, in fact, not siblings, but anyone who didn’t know them would be hard-pressed to believe it.

Tommy ran a hand through his raven hair – a mix of choppy and spiky – rolling his eyes at whatever insult Carla was fervently calling him. He interrupted her with a carefully constructed rebuttal and a growing smirk. Carla fell silent for a few moments, before exploding into a barrage of expletives as Tommy laughed.

Though chaotic, unorthodox, and childish in nature, Tommy was Jasmine’s primary confidante. The son of a late legend and an idol to many, the experienced warrior proved time and time again that he was deserving of

the titles and reverence he received, much to his chagrin. But behind the carefree and immature attitude laid an incredibly sincere and altruistic boy, bursting with compassion and wisdom beyond his years. He was there whenever Jasmine needed to vent, and his experiences and lessons often birthed new perspectives and solutions to the troubles and woes of her sheltered upbringing. Unafraid of holding his emotions on his sleeve, he sported a heart of gold and was mature when it counted. For that, Jasmine was grateful.

Jasmine then looked over at Carla, her trademark orange scarf bright in the firelight. She had her chin-length hair pulled into a low ponytail, and the bangs framing her youthful face bounced around violently as she berated the still-laughing Tommy. Though Carla was not actually part of their team, having remained behind to fill in for Tommy’s post at home, she was always flitting on the edges of conversation with him. Jasmine was once envious of the position Carla held with Tommy, but over time grew to understand that it was his way of including his absent friend in the adventures the group experienced together.

When Jasmine finally met the mysterious second member of the kingdom warriors, she could not have prepared for the first words Carla had blurted out at her, accentuated by wide-eyed pools of emerald.

‘Wow, you’re pretty!’

Though the young empress had heard the compliment many times before, this one

was different. It wasn’t made in reassurance, pleasantries, or veneration, but as a genuine compliment from someone completely unaware of Jasmine’s status. As simple as it was, the act made Jasmine feel desired and accepted for who she really was, though at the time she was too shocked to process it. Though it had happened long ago, the memory kept Jasmine happy.

The two’s infectious antics brought a small smile to Jasmine’s face. Noticing movement, she shifted her eyes towards a figure who was solemnly transfixed on the fire, leaning against Tommy’s back. One of her hands was loosely intertwined with one of his, and her usual high ponytail was undone, resulting in a cascade of dark brown hair flowing down her shoulders.

Natalia was not one for showing outward affection, often guarding her emotions with more defence than her faction’s entire fleet combined. However, it was times like these, when their heroic group was no more than just a merry band of friends, where the normally fiery pirate would lower her steel walls.

When the group first formed, Natalia was prideful, apathetic, and greedy, only caring for fame and fortune. She had even sadistically admitted to Jasmine that the empress would make a fantastic ransom, were they not all bound by duty, clearly enjoying the fear evident on Jasmine’s face. Natalia had also clashed with Tommy on the daily, their views so different they were almost polar opposites.

Since then, Natalia had become less prideful and apathetic and had grown compassionate and protective in her own way, in no small

credit to Tommy’s efforts. Though they had a rocky start, Jasmine had quite commonly found herself in Natalia’s company, viewing the stern ex-criminal as an older sister. Except she was still a criminal. And though Jasmine was still slightly afraid of the fierce woman, she couldn’t help but be appreciative of the support Natalia would offer.

Jasmine realised she had been staring at Natalia while she reminisced, and made to look away. Before she could, Natalia’s eyes snapped towards her. The pirate gave a brief warm smile, before returning to her pensive watch of the fire, leaving Jasmine to wonder how many moons it would be before she’d ever see such a sight again.

She leaned back in her chair, nursing a nowempty cup in her hands, and joined Natalia in gazing at the flickering tendrils of the fire.

A gentle shaking and a soft calling of her name roused the young heiress from her nap. The fire burned low, the glowing crevices of the blackened wood reminding Jasmine of the time their team had ventured deep into a supposedly inactive volcano in pursuit of a manticore.

She stretched, taking note of the empty chairs and the clear midnight sky as she did so. She didn’t bother to turn and see who had awoken her, having caught a characteristic blue sleeve in the corner of her eye. Instead, she picked up her staff, running her hand over it. The jade topping was cool to the touch, and the familiar carved intricacies of the wood tickled

her palm.

‘Can I tell you something, Tommy?’

‘Dunno, Stormy, can ya?’

Stormy. Tommy had a nickname for nearly everyone, and hers was conceived when they had learnt of her true heritage – she was of the vanished Jadestorm lineage. The moniker held a tone of affection, which bolstered Jasmine’s courage.

‘I think I know, now.’ Jasmine didn’t need to specify what she was talking about. Tommy would know.

‘Huh?’

On the other hand, that conversation had been years ago. ‘What it’s like to belong,’ she clarified.

‘Oh.’ An encouraging smile crossed Tommy’s face. ‘Go on, then. Tell me.’ He took a seat next to her, patiently waiting as she formed an appropriate answer in her mind.

‘I feel…wanted. Loved. For who I am, instead of what I’m expected to be. No matter what I do, I can make a difference, and you all support me or advise me. Like the family I never had. Yes, that’s it,’ Jasmine mused. ‘You feel like family.’

‘I see,’ Tommy said simply.

‘A—am I wrong?’

‘No, no, absolutely not,’ Tommy chuckled.

‘It’s just interesting to see your definition of belonging. Familial.’

‘What do you mean by “my definition”?’ Jasmine asked, tilting her head quizzically.

Tommy pointed at the previously occupied chairs. ‘Take Carla for example. She wants to be at my side, wherever I am, no matter what. She’s basically my shadow. Her definition of belonging is about being around the individual she loves so much.’

‘She does seem rather enthusiastic about you,’ Jasmine said with a light tone.

‘More like obsessed,’ he jested, shaking his head and eliciting a light giggle from Jasmine. ‘And don’t tell Carla this, but a little songbird revealed that you’ve become a very frequent topic of conversation of hers. I might actually have some competition for her affection.’

‘Isn’t “Songbird” Carla’s call sign?’

Tommy winked at her in answer, then moved on to point at Natalia’s seat. ‘Natz has a similar definition to you, but different all the same. Had you asked her at the beginning, she would’ve told you she “belongs on the sea” –she hated company. She was an outcast. But you know that.’

‘Her crew?’

‘Were just that to her. Tools at her disposal. Nothing more. But now, here, she fits right in. Being able to express her vulnerable emotions in a safe space without consequence or repercussion helps her feel like she belongs,

if that makes sense. She might still be working on her general social skills, but trust me –when I’m alone with her, she’s a completely different person.’ Tommy paused. ‘Mostly. She’s still an ass.’

‘So, in other words, acceptance?’

‘Something like that. But more nuanced. Everyone wants acceptance – it’s a broad and vague term. After all, you seek acceptance too, yet it’s different to the acceptance that Natalia desires.’

‘I seek love, and she seeks…company?’

‘From what I can gather, yes. Again, it’s a bit more specific than that, but it’s difficult to find a single perfect word for every example. There’s a few more definitions I’ve seen on our adventures, too. People who find their belonging in duty, in family, in spaces, in independence. Even those who find belonging during battle, somehow.’

‘I understand now,’ Jasmine said, though a minute frown displayed on her face. She fell silent, thinking to herself.

‘What’s wrong, Stormy? You’re quiet.’

‘Why did I not feel this before? I’ve done very little different. Is this what it’s like to feel loved? Have I been missing out all this time?’ Light frustration laced her words.

our tasks without fear. Mistakes made or not, we love you for who you are. Our favourite summoner-slash-sorceress.’

Jasmine couldn’t help but smile at his words. Tommy had always had a knack for cheering people up, finding a positive in every situation. She then turned to Tommy. ‘What about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘What’s your definition?’

‘Oh. I don’t know,’ Tommy said with a nonchalant shrug.

‘What do you mean you don’t know?’

‘I haven’t found it yet, I think. Of course, I feel at home with you all, but there’s a difference between feeling like you belong and feeling like you belong. It’s fine, though. I’m content with the hand I’ve been dealt and I don’t think I need to seek out the answer yet.’

Jasmine looked over Tommy, analysing him like he’d read the others with small tricks she had slowly learned off him. His stance was relaxed, his eyes bright. Had it not been midnight, she was sure he’d be chatting eagerly with the rest of the team. She had seen many instances of him like this, as uncommon as those occasions were.

‘You know what they say – “better late than never” and all that. Besides, we all loved you from the start. I think it just took you a long time to learn to love yourself. Now that you have, you can stop worrying about whether you belong or not and put your full focus into

Like when he was unburdened by the weight of his surname or his standing, where he was treated as an equal and all he had to care about were his friends and their wellbeing.

Or when he was in his workshop, excitedly forging weaponry and experimenting with ideas that blew up spectacularly in his face,

dashing to and fro in elation, ready to try it again.

And when things were finally going in the right direction, when he could focus on spending time with the people he cared for most.

‘I think I know,’ Jasmine said.

‘Do you now?’ Tommy grinned. ‘Keep it to yourself. If…when I feel lost, tell me then. And only then.’

‘Until then, you want to figure it out for yourself?’

‘Correct. When did you become such a good judge of character?’

‘I have a good mentor,’ Jasmine smiled.

‘Really? You should introduce me to them some day,’ Tommy replied with mirth in his eyes. ‘Sounds like someone awesome.’

‘That might be pushing it. By a few orders of magnitude.’

Tommy let out a theatrical sigh, hanging his head. ‘I remember when you were afraid to make the smallest of jokes. How much you’ve grown,’ he said, ruffling her head. ‘I’m gonna head off. Gotta be prepped for tomorrow. You should get some rest too.’

‘I will,’ Jasmine nodded. ‘I just want to reflect.’

‘No stress, take your time. But also hurry up and get to bed, leader’s orders.’ Tommy stuck his tongue out as he turned away, scooping his swords up in the process.

‘Keep that up and I’ll banish you from dynasty territory.’ Jasmine placed her hands on her hips with a smirk.

‘You couldn’t keep me out if you tried. In fact, that might encourage me to visit.’

Jasmine laughed. ‘Good night, Tommy. And thank you.’

Tommy didn’t respond, instead opting to wave with a flick of his wrist and a smile as he walked away, leaving Jasmine alone with the

stars.

As she turned to them, a memory unravelled itself in her mind.

Years ago, merely days after their group had first formed, Tommy had found Jasmine in a secluded area away from their base. The night sky was a clear blanket of stars, casting soft light upon them. In a moment of self-doubt, Jasmine admitted her worries to Tommy, doubtful of her role in the team.

In response, he asked her to turn to the sky above. He pointed out a tiny, miniscule star, comparing her to it. On the verge of tears, she asked him why.

‘The truth is, it doesn’t matter. You are here. That’s what matters. Who cares what you contribute, or how little? You wouldn’t call that

star any less of a star, just because it isn’t as bright as its neighbours, would you? Just like you’re not any less of a team member because of your inexperience. It’s still your best effort, just like that star shines as bright as it can to stave off the dark. You might feel insignificant and estranged now, but over time, you’ll look back and question why you ever doubted yourself. You’re part of the team. One day, you’ll feel it too. I promise.’

‘But how will I know?’

‘You’ll know, Jasmine. You’ll know.’

And as a small, orange star shot across the sky, not unlike the embers of the fire, Jasmine softly hummed a serene melody of joy.

She knew.

broken constellations

Eli Rooke

They were alien, perhaps, in a sense of the word.

Not of this world but not of another; not from here did not mean from elsewhere. Something was missed in their definition—‘alien’ but without the ‘i’ dotted.

The alıen fell to the planet. Through the darkness and out of the darkness, they were left staring up at the starlit sky wondering if they had just become. They didn’t realise creation would be quite so unceremonious as to just throw them to the dirt. The dust settled around them as if they had always been there, not caring that maybe they didn’t want to be.

When the people found the alıen, they were watching the stars with such intensity that their own eyes burned. The people asked what they were, who they were. And it had never before occurred to the alıen to start any sentence with I. How selfish it would be to claim existence under the death of falling stars.

They didn’t have an answer. They didn’t think they deserved one.

They asked the people what it meant to exist. What reason and purpose had ripped them from their space between the stars and down to the ground, suddenly conscious and feeling.

It was cold here, they said, away from the constellations that had housed them.

must. With sympathy, they said that they, too, did not get a say as they were torn from below the earth and air was forced into their lungs

But it was warm here, they said, where the sunlight touched and embraced.

The people nodded to the east and the alıen watched in panic as their stars began to fade into blue. Desperation and fear spurred their first true movement. They clawed their fingers into the horizon and tried to bury the sun. Tried to send it back to where it and the people came from. They did not want to lose their stars; their celestial codex would give them the answers if they just looked hard enough. They would find the answer if they just counted enough stars.

One Two Three—It would tell them why.

Four Five Six—It had to tell them why.

Seven Eight Nine—They had to know why.

…They could not stop the sun. A shadow formed below them, and they feared they had lost themself before they even had a chance to be found.

The people, and all their shadows, said the night would come again. Said that day granted warmth and respite from the wondering. There were things to do, places to see.

The people said they existed because they

They told the alıen of gardens with blooming flowers, of beaches with hidden coral reefs,

and of mountaintops so high you passed through the clouds. These things were waiting, if the alıen wanted. But the people reassured them that they did not have to want today.

Existing was enough.

The people pointed to the west and spoke of sunsets with colours that were almost an answer in and of themselves. They said the sun would then sink, and the night would fill with stars once more.

The people said they did not have to spend all their moments looking for answers. Existing was enough. And that sometimes, just being gives space for purpose to grow and meaning

to form.

So, the people asked the alıen, not who they were, but who they wanted to be.

The alıen didn’t have an answer yet, but maybe, just maybe, they were worthy of wanting one. They would build a foundation from their own broken constellations. Be an artist of stardust and trace their own history and future into the night sky. They would displace the dirt with their footsteps and claim that they were here, now, for however long that may be.

They would try to exist. It was enough.

an interview with a first nations rep

Zoe Sorenson

Welcome to 2022’s first instalment of our union representative interviews! Here, we take some time to chat with current office-bearers of the Swinburne Student Union (SSU) so you can get to know them and better understand the roles they play in representing you.

In case you weren’t aware, swine magazine is actually part of the SSU’s Media Department. The union plays a pivotal role in representing and advocating for the student voice. Overall, the SSU advocates for students’ welfare and academic needs, provides important services, and hosts a variety of events.

As you know, this edition’s theme is belonging. This can cover a range of things (as you’ve

already seen throughout this magazine, courtesy of our wonderful contributors), including creating safe and supportive spaces and caring for one another. The SSU’s Welfare Reps are dedicated to making sure all Swinburne students feel represented, connected, and cared for.

With that in mind, our Print Editor Zoe Sorenson spoke to First Nations Representative Darnell Stallbaum about his role, the impact he hopes to create this year, and how he’s found his own sense of belonging.

ZS: Hi Darnell, thanks for chatting with us! I understand this is your first year as an SSU rep – congratulations! How did you initially get involved with the union? What was that journey like?

DS: Hello! Thanks for reaching out to me. Yes, you’re right, it’s my first year as a rep and thank you very much. I got involved with the role through the previous year’s First Nations Representative (and this year’s Welfare Officer), Patrick Taylor.

Honestly, it was a fast-paced journey from accepting the offer to running to the election process and now being in the role and learning what it’s all about.

ZS: What does it mean to be the First Nations Rep, exactly? What does your role entail?

DS: So, as the First Nations Rep, my role is to campaign for and represent First Nations

people here at Swinburne. This is for all First Nations people, not just Indigenous Australian and Torres Strait Islander people like me.

ZS: What do you think are some of the most important considerations for Swinburne in terms of making uni culturally safe and inclusive for First Nations students?

DS: I think the most important thing regarding cultural safety here at Swinburne is to communicate with First Nations students and staff with respect and without bias or assumptions. By this, I mean to show respect for individuals’ stories and cultures and not assuming you know their lives. Willingness to listen and share, I would say.

ZS: Do you have any particular goals you’re looking to achieve this year? Is there something you’re really looking forward to?

DS: Not anything specific right now. I would like to make the most of this role and make some large and positive impacts and changes. We do have some plans regarding Acknowledgements of Country and how it is here at the university, but I don’t want to give away too much without having the concrete plans in place haha. Apart from that, I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.

ZS: What’s a piece of advice you’d give students wanting to involve themselves with the SSU?

ZS: This issue is all about belonging. Where have you found a sense of belonging in your own life, whether at uni or elsewhere?

DS: For me, I’ve moved around a lot in my life and struggled a lot with finding a sense of belonging. However, for me, that came with more connections with many people. Through close friends and colleagues in and out of uni, I have found myself belonging in many different places and I feel a sense of home everywhere.

If I were to say one thing I’d absolutely like to do as the First Nations Rep, it would be to help even one person find the same sense of belonging and connection, because it has made a huge impact on my life.

ZS: What would you say is your favourite belonging that you wouldn’t leave home without?

DS: For me, my favourite belonging would have to be my wallet. I keep it with me always, its useful and I keep many memories in there that are very important to me.

To find out more about the students representing you and the range of services the SSU provides, check out https://ssu.org.au

DS: Hmm, I’m not really one for good advice haha. But if I had to, I would say, ‘If you’ve even had the slightest interest in the union or its activities, just go for it – apply and see where it goes.’ It’s what I did and has paid off.

thank u. thank u.

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