ISSUE #10 by swine

SWINBURNE STUDENT MAGAZINE

NOW RECRUITING FOR 2017 EDITORIAL TEAM

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CONTENTS

musical conspiracy theories

10 the evil conspiracy to prevent disease 16 the smartest people in the room 20 proof: beloved director is

from space, created humanity

25 what conspiracy theorist are you? 26 the disappearance of harold holt 28 peril from the skies! 32 treats

Swine Issue #10

i miss you

film review: t he k illing j oke

album reviews

sudoku & origami

Published September 2016 www.swinemagazine.org Swine is published by the Swinburne Student Union Email us at advertising@media.ssu.org.au for advertising enquiries

SQUAD

Nick Kennedy Editor-in-Chief

Josh Coates

Pedro Cooray Managing Editor

Lead Designer

Jared Berman Promotions & Distribution Officer

credits Gemma Christensen Photography Grace Griffith Photography Bridget Chilver Illustrator Jack Boffa Writing Tori Pearce Writing Sarah Giles Writing

EDITORIAL You get kind of burnt being a full time student while also working on a quarterly magazine. The pressure of self-imposed expectation in place of real world readership expectation (gotta keep yourself grounded) is a crushing one, and after I submitted the one measly piece I’ve got going in this issue, I realised how much I was freaking out over something that ultimately is destined for the great content pile in the sky with no huge fanfare. But, hey, you do what you do because you love it, or you love your kids, or you gotta eat – so here we are with SWINE Issue 10. This time around we’re diving into disused forums and crackpot publications in search of conspiracy and truth. What really happened to Prime Minister Harold Holt on that beach? What is Alex Jones’ patented Brain ForceTM? Vaccines do what now?

Outside of writing from the standard SWINE team, we’ve got submissions from the excellent Tori Pearce, Jack Boffa and Sarah Giles; covering everything from musical murder to helicopter mind control rays, with a little fiction writing mixed in for good measure (outside of the helicopter thing, I mean). So sit back, relax, make sure your tin-foil is on tight, and enjoy a glass of heavily filtered water while you read SWINE 10. And as always, if you want to get in contact or have us write about something you think is worthwhile, you can contact us on: media@ssu.org.au or editor@media.ssu.org.au Cheers, Nicholas Kennedy, Editor-in-Chief.

All this detached-from-reality digging can be fun most of the time, but there comes a point where it bleeds into the real world and you kinda feel for the people that get caught up in this sort of thing. Like when I was in a class the other week and someone described InfoWars.com as an “news source” that gives an “alternative perspective”. Yeah, too right mate, I’d say ‘alternative’ isn’t quite far enough.

MUSICAL CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Jack Boffa Conspiracy theories have a tendency to pop up in all facets of life. Talk to the right group of people and you might come away thinking that the royal family is in fact a group of reptilian aliens. Consequently, the music industry is filled with all sorts of conspiracy theories, pertaining to a number of inf luential figures. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a few to get you thinking about just how farfetched they can beâ&#x20AC;Śor not.

Kurt Cobain was murdered by the CIA 7

Whether you like their music or not, it’s undeniable the legacy that Kurt Cobain and Nirvana have left on the music industry and culture as a whole (if your high school band never butchered a cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit then it’s in the minority). As a result of his ridiculous popularity throughout the 90s, Kurt’s suicide became a highly talked about subject that to this day is shrouded in mystery. Some at the time believed that Kurt’s death was in fact not a suicide, but rather a murder. You may have heard some state their belief that Kurt’s wife and fellow musician Courtney Love was the one who pulled the trigger, however, others believe that the CIA may be responsible due to his radical anti-establishment views and his inf luence over the masses through his music. This theory has since been spurred on by Courtney herself, who claims that Kurt had been shadowed by the CIA among ‘other secret societies’ and that the CIA had even attempted to murder Kurt a few months prior to his actual death while he was in Italy. As an interesting side note, there’s a similar theory f loating around suggesting that the CIA may also be responsible for the death of John Lennon.

Paul McCartney is dead… Most of us know Paul McCartney today as one of the two surviving members of The Beatles. Some, however, would strongly disagree with us and believe that Paul was actually killed in a car accident sometime around late 1967. It’s hard to pin down where exactly the rumour started, but it was spread feverishly in the following years through fanzines, college newspapers and radio shows. Theorists claimed that vague clues exist on their albums confirming the rumour, although it’s unclear if they were put in place by The Beatles themselves or their record company, who were apparently trying to suppress the death in the first place. So if Paul’s not really Paul, then who is Paul? Hard to say, but some believe he is actually William Campbell, the winner of a Paul McCartney lookalike contest. Lucky he was able to sing and perform just like the real Paul as well.

…and Elvis is alive Yes, while it’s believed by some that an alive star is deceased, it’s believed by others that a deceased star is alive and his death was faked as he had become tired of his fame. It’s claimed by some that Elvis Presley, the aptly labelled ‘King of Rock and Roll’, who tragically passed away in 1977, did not really pass away in 1977 and is still alive today at 81 years of age. Elvis’ specific cause of death is still debated today, but that’s not the main reason some claim he is still alive. Elvis’ death certificate was immediately sealed upon his death, witnesses have stated they noticed his corpse sweating at his funeral, and there have been reported sightings of The King in Michigan and Ottawa. The most damning reason of all though? Elvis was allegedly an extra in the 1990 John Hughes comedy, Home Alone. You might remember the scene where Kevin’s mother desperately tries to procure a f light home to Chicago to check on the safety of her son. As she does so, there are two customers in line behind her, a woman and a bearded man. Theorists claim that the bearded man is no ordinary extra and is actually Elvis Presley. Why would a man supposedly tired of his fame agree to act in a Hollywood film? I don’t know.

Andrew W.K. is not a real person

This is probably the favourite theory I’ve come across, as I’ve had a fascination with Andrew W.K. since seeing him perform at Groovin the Moo in 2012. Anyone familiar with him may not see this theory as a huge surprise, as it would be easy to think of Andrew W.K. as a sort of alien entity than a real person but it actually goes much deeper than that. The theory is fairly complicated (and hilarious) but at its core claims that Andrew W.K. was originally a character, invented and played by none other than Foo Fighters front man Dave Grohl, who then passed it along to another actor, and another and so on. Yes, Andrew W.K., the man who recently created his own, entirely serious political party dubbed ‘The Party Party’, has some sort of James Bondesque legacy where people are trying to figure out who he really is. There’s so much more to this, so if you plan on doing your own research (which I would highly recommend) keep an eye out for the name Steev Mike and where he fits into everything.

THE EVIL CONSPIRACY TO PREVENT DISEASE

Tori Pearce

Adherence to the anti-vax conspiracy tends to coincide with a number of ideas commonly espoused by naturopathic and holistic medicine. These include, but are not limited to the following; Chemicals are bad for you, literally everything is entirely composed of chemicals, and any ingredients with long and unpronounceable names in our food are poison, dihydrogen monoxide is an additive in nearly everything. Even health foods have it. Bit of a worry there. Genetically modified food is unsafe, and a way for the government to kill off poor people. Pluots are totally not GMO, and selective breeding certainly isn’t GMO either. No test tubes means no genetic modification right? Right? Natural remedies are better than artificial remedies. The definitions of natural and artificial can get very blurry. You can totally avoid all disease through good nutrition, hydration and plenty of sleep.

The anti-vax movement holds that vaccines are a dangerous conspiracy by Big-Pharma to increase revenue through unnecessary over-medication for diseases with mild affects like death. They claim that early childhood vaccination is the cause of autism, and even if your kid manages to fight off the autism, vaccines are so packed full of poisons like formaldehyde, which also occurs naturally in fruits. Even the locally grown organic variety and mercury, which we’re fine consuming in higher doses when it’s in fish apparently. FISH IS GOOD FOR YOU.

Big-Pharma doesn’t want you to know any of this because it would impact their sales. If they have so much power, why aren’t they suppressing this information better? I was taught eating healthy would help protect me from disease in primary school. Shameful conduct on behalf of this shadowy global superpower.

The anti-vax movement tells us to be wary of the pharmaceutical industry, and there are certainly plenty of good reasons why we ought to be wary. Take the recent scandal around Martin Shkreli (CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals) purchasing the exclusive rights to produce Daraprim, a drug used for the treatment of HIV, and raising the price from $13.50 USD to $750 USD per tablet. Or the $181, 000, 000 USD settlement by Johnson & Johnson for promoting fraudulent and dangerous alternative uses for the antipsychotic drug Risperdal, they made $67.2 billion USD in that year. The problem with the anti-vax movement isn’t that it promotes suspicion of BigPharma. A healthy dose of suspicion is good for you. The real problem is that it promotes suspicion without selfref lection. To put it simply; who stands to gain the most from people refusing to vaccinate their children? I’ll give you a hint; it’s Big-Pharma. If you spend a negligible amount on a vaccine that prevents a chronic illness, they’ve missed out on the larger sum of money they could have made by treating that preventable disease. If the profits from treatment exceed the profits from prevention by a wide enough margin, then it’s time to undermine the sales of the preventative drug. Similar calculations happen with recalling dangerously designed cars. Look up the Ford Pinto. Horrifying.

By spreading misinformation about the (thoroughly debunked) connection between vaccination and autism, scaremongering about the frequency of adverse effects, or f lat out lying about the chemical content of their vaccines, they can discourage the use of that vaccine and increase the incidence of that disease, thus increasing the demand for treatment. Of course, that would be fraud. But we’ve seen time and time again that Big-Pharma isn’t above fraud.

Perhaps you’re thinking that Big-Pharma won’t reap the benefits of illness among anti-vaxxers because they’ll treat themselves with natural medicines like cod-liver oil, celery extract or colloidal silver. Even though chemicals are bad and unpronounceable ingredients are poison, this is a ‘natural remedy’. Who do you think the major companies that produce ‘natural remedies’ are? Couldn’t be Big-Pharma, right?

The illusion makes them feel important, powerful and intelligent. It’s seductive.

It doesn’t take that much effort to find people who are willing to do unethical things for a bit of money, but it is cheaper to just find people who will do these things in exchange for feelings of self-importance. With the power of social media you can have a lie doing laps around the world before the truth even knew it was time to put its boots on. The truth can’t hope to compete with the lie either, it’s so bland and unenticing in comparison. Once people think they have a piece of secret information that they weren’t supposed to find, something that means they can outsmart a shadowy global superpower run by evil geniuses, they don’t want that illusion shattered. The illusion makes them feel important, powerful and intelligent. It’s seductive. So when evidence appears that opposes their newfound feelings of superiority, they reject it. Preponderance of scientific evidence indicating that autism is genetic be damned – they know that Big-Pharma are secretly trying to poison them and their children. They’re too smart to be caught in that trap now!

Another problem with the movement is in the definition of ‘Big-Pharma’. Big-Pharma is meant to be the entire pharmaceutical industry – it’s an oversimplification and doesn’t exist in the way the anti-vax movement describes. There isn’t actually an evil monolithic entity working towards world domination through hurting children. It’s just a convenient way for the antivax conspiracy to paint their imaginary ‘enemy’ to keep their adherents from noticing inconsistencies in the tale. ‘Big-Pharma’ actually consists of a large and varied group of competing companies that are all seeking to maximise their own market share. It’s easy to group these companies together as a single entity because they often seem to behave in the same way, but it’s important to recognise that they are separate. In order for any particular company to profit, it’s in their interest for their medicines to work better than their competitor’s medicines, to have medicines their competitors don’t have, and for their products to be more trusted among medical professionals. If they were working together under a single umbrella group, we’d be in a far worse state than we are now because those pressures to do ‘the right thing’ wouldn’t be there. This is why we have anti-monopoly laws. This is why those laws are so important. When ‘Big-Pharma’ is a unified villain that holds all medical professionals and scientists within it, an antivaxxer can refuse to accept the validity of any study that doesn’t go towards maintaining their illusion of superiority even when it came from a group that directly benefits from an honest pharmaceutical industry. Allowing for the complexity of reality reveals too many contradictions in the theory. The anti-vax conspiracy theory doesn’t go anywhere near far enough to get to any kind of truth. It doesn’t even manage to be a cute and harmless conspiracy because it puts people at risk. If enough people are immune, the people who aren’t will be unlikely to encounter the disease.

If you don’t encounter it you can’t catch it. This is herd immunity, and it protects infants too young to be vaccinated, people who missed a vaccine by mistake, who have been forgetting their booster shots, or who can’t get vaccinations due to immune system related medical conditions. These all unintentionally add to the percentage of vulnerable people in the population. Anti-vaxxers are protected by herd immunity too, but they choose to be vulnerable members of the population and increase the risk for everyone. The anti-vax movement needs to hit a critical mass before any reasonable number of people gets sick… but it doesn’t have to get as big as you might think.

How much money do you think a government would be willing to spend to develop something that would prevent the deaths of 10% of their taxpaying population? How about 20%? 50%? The bubonic plague had an 80% mortality rate back in the time before modern medicine. Back when everyone was forced to use natural remedies because that was all they had. Back before ‘Big-Pharma’ had its vise-grip on the world. If a disease like that were to appear today, resistant to current medical treatments, people across the world would be throwing money at anyone in a lab coat in the hopes that a cure might be found. Someone who held the cure to that kind of disease could shape the course of human history… and anti-vaxxers bring us closer to that possible future.

It’s only a matter of time before a previously preventable disease develops a new strain that bypasses that immunity

When enough people in the population are vulnerable, a single carrier can cause widespread infection. When enough people have the infection… well, then it starts to get dangerous for the people with immunity. It’s only a matter of time before a previously preventable disease develops a new strain that bypasses that immunity. Once this strain gets out among the population, you have a health crisis. With the speed and frequency of international travel, it could easily become a global crisis.

THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE ROOM

Infowars store is like DisneyLand for the truther community

Nick Kennedy

Well, if you’re Alex Jones, you sell supplements to the dedicated doomsday preppers and New World Order opponents of the world through your website, Infowars.com. Infowars is an incredible pseudo-news source for the anti-logic masses which encompasses fairly standard news coverage with a fun conspiracy bent, Alex Jones’ own radio show which can be streamed online (I’m sure there’s a drinking game in there somewhere), and the Alex Jones endorsed Infowars Online Store. Infowars store is like DisneyLand for the truther community – water purifiers, ration supplies, something called Brain Force (?), and an unexplicable tshirt with Bill Clinton’s face above the word “RAPE”. Why anyone would want to purchase that and turn themselves into a walking trigger word is beyond me, but when you’re so far up your own arse that you’re browsing the Infowars Store you probably don’t really think about your societal impact a whole lot.

In 2016’s society of total information accessibility, to act as though you can know something that the rest of society just doesn’t get can be at times arrogant and others downright delusional. Of course, this isn’t me arguing that smartphones and internet access are the equivalent of a PhD and years of quality education – the problem faced by society at large today in regards to information is the sheer volume with which we are faced. So what’s a bright eyed skeptic and champion of the truth to do?

The psychology of a conspiracy theorist is something that you probably wouldn’t think too much about beyond the first and final thought of: “oh, so they’re totally bat-shit, that’s all there is to it”, and while you’re certainly not wrong in that regard, there’s tons more to dig into when it comes to understanding how and why conspiracy theorists think the way they do. The key element of conspiracy belief is an overarching distrust of the dominant ‘narrative’ in political and social life. Osama Bin Laden never died or was dead already, the moon landing never happened, don’t drink the water; anything that is characterised by a sheer distrust of authority and also the aforementioned knowledge of little known ‘facts’.

Conspiracy theorists can be categorised into three groups. Minor, moderate, and extreme. Minor theorists generally have one issue or topic that they hold onto wherein they think a conspiracy has taken place. Examples being homeopathic/ natural medicine users who think pharmaceutical companies and doctors have conspired to release medicine that makes you worse, for whatever reason. The moderate conspiracy theorists believe several theories. 9/11 was an inside job, chem-trails are real, f luoride is a mind control substance; it goes on.

in place of those conventional authority figures, as if they’ve beaten the game somehow. As far as a conspiracy theorist is concerned, if an expert said it, it must be false; a total inversion of rational thought. Conspiracy theorists crave alternate explanations, and a little confirmation bias can’t hurt either.

A common explanation for the birth of conspiracy theories is oftentimes mental illness, but there’s a surprising lack of academic studies or information looking into that fact.

I honestly believe it’s never been easier to be a conspiracy theorist. The nature of information dissemination these days is a perfect breeding ground for new conspiracies or the resurgence of old ones, whilst that smartphone in your pocket is the tool by which the theorist can brand you as a technological slave. Conspiracy theories and their common dissonance allow them to live throughout massive societal upheaval and advancement; truly making them the cockroaches of the ideological world.

A 2011 study found that conspiracy theorists tended to believe multiple theories at once, even ones that contradicted each other. Another bizarre element of the conspiracy theorist’s mindset is not just their distrust of authority, but their preference to believe random radio or internet personalities

Like did you know that Princess Diana was murdered and faked her own death? Read a book, you sheep.

Extreme conspiracy theorists tend to live in a state of massive cognitive dissonance. Not that this stops them from functioning as human beings, but rather that their beliefs clash with each other on such a massive level that only mental gymnastics can get you over the illogical debris. Like did you know that Princess Diana was murdered and faked her own death? Read a book, you sheep.

PROOF: BELOVED DIRECTOR IS FROM SPACE, CREATED HUMANITY

Pedro Cooray In 1973, a man then-known as Claude Vorilhon was walking through his favourite volcanic crater in France, when he met a member of the Elohim; an extraterrestrial race of scientists who created all life on Earth 25,000 years ago. That night, Vorilhon discovered that they needed him to be their prophet. The Elohim who gave him this message was named Yahweh, an old Hebrew name for God. Coincidence? Yes. Yahweh was described as a short, skinny, pale-skinned being, with long black hair, who spoke in French. Which was super convenient, because, you know, they were in France. What were the chances? Small universe. So Vorilhon humbly gave up his dream of being a magazine writer and part-time racecar driver, changed his name to RaĂŤl, and formed RaĂŤlism: an atheistic religion devoted to spreading their message of peace and love around the world. And also to build an Elohim embassy on Earth before 2035 so our creators may finally return, but mainly the peace and love stuff.

Elsewhere, as Raël was spreading his message from the stars, another man’s star was rising. In 2004, actor/writer/ director/renaissance man Tommy Wiseau changed the face of Western cinema forever by acting/writing/directing/ renaissance manning The Room, which received many reviews, such as the one I’ve paraphrased here: “Trust me, this is [REDACTED] a movie [REDACTED] in the world.” For me, much of his appeal comes from the mystery behind him. Wiseau doesn’t like to talk about his life, but many have speculated his unique accent hints at a European background. His castmate on The Room, Greg Sestero, described Wiseau’s appearance in his book The Disaster Artist, presumably about how great the movie was: “…short and muscular; his face as lumpy and white as an abandoned draft of a sculpture…his long, thick, impossibly black hair…” 22

Short, pale, long black hair...vaguely European accent… I think this is irrefutable proof that Tommy Wiseau is Yahweh. I’ll take a second for your mind to finish blowing. It makes perfect sense. The Raëlians believe in free love, free speech, and human cloning. What about Wiseau? “I believe for freedom. I believe that people should express themselves the way they want, except as it does in the way that’s not nice, but it is what it is.” Couldn’t have said it simpler myself.

I think this is irrefutable proof that Tommy Wiseau is Yahweh. I’ll take a second for your mind to finish blowing.

In 2011, Wiseau gave permission to be interviewed about a then-upcoming show he was working on, featuring alien characters. When asked about the aliens, he responded: “I personally think they’re somewhere else, in a different dimension. I am somewhere else but with my thoughts and ideas, and I’m enjoying it.” See?! He talked about aliens so he must be one! Proof!

Wiseau sounds a lot like Ouiseau, which is a French word. It means “bird”. Proof. I can imagine what you, the haters, the nonbelievers, might say: “That could describe anyone. What about Michael Jackson? I’m a loser with no love in my life.” And to you I say this: Michael Jackson doesn’t speak French. I saw it with my own two eyes (and my metaphorical third eye) on Yahoo Answers. PROOF. So there you have it. Skeptic-proof, uh, proof that the embassy is complete, the Elohim walk among us, and that Tommy Wiseau is my – and your – secret alien grandpa. According to Wiseau himself: “I’m not a god, I’m just a simple guy.” Sure, Tommy. Sure. *wink* If you want to find out more about Raëlism, the official website lists their Australian headquarters as an unmarked location in Ghan, Northern Territory, but with an address for a Mobile Windscreens & Tinting Shop in Goondi Hill, Queensland. The only nearby building is an abandoned hotel. You’ll be fine.

But if you still can’t embrace the truth, according to the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry, some Raelians believe that “birds represent the closeness of earth to the original planet, where creators felt threatened by human life.”

Jared Berman

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF HAROLD HOLT

The disappearance of Harold Holt is one of Australiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s longest lasting mysteries for several reasons. Firstly because of the notoriety that the role of prime minister affords, everybody knew his name and his face so how could someone so famous go missing? Secondly - to this day, 48 years later, no trace has ever been found of Harold Holt at Cheviot Beach near Portsea. Lastly - because the mystery has such a simple and obvious solution. Holt, despite being an excellent swimmer and familiar with the beach near his holiday house, was probably sucked out to sea by a completely natural tidal force and his body carried too far away to be found. Nonetheless many conspiracy theories around Holtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s disappearance have emerged over the years.

My personal favourite are the claims by Anthony Grey in his 1983 book The Prime Minister Was a Spy. Within, Grey writes about how Harold Holt was a spy for the Democratic Republic of China and was picked up by a Chinese submarine parked just outside Port Phillip Bay. Not having read the book I can’t really speak to the specific evidence presented by Grey, but I can tell you about Holt’s political career. In his time as Minister for Immigration Harold Holt began to dismantle The White Australia Policy, which is exactly what it sounds like. A set of laws that preferenced white Europeans seeking to immigrate to Australia over Asian people, while also impacting those not of Anglo decent that already lived in the country. Sounds like collusion to me.

Other notable theories for Harold Holt’s disappearance are the alien abduction theories outlined by John Keel in his 1970 book Operation Trojan Horse.

Because, y’know, of course a person isn’t able to just die

In 2005 a man named Gary Simmons started claiming that he knew exactly what had happened to Holt. Simmons claimed that Harold Holt had been murdered, and he was one of the Australian Government operatives tasked with the disposal of his corpse. All this is detailed on his inaccessible website harold-holt.net, along with letters to government personalities officials. Simmons’ writings should be taken with several grains of salt as he speaks about the supreme 2nd law of the universe and he frequently refers to “they” and “them”) without defining who the pronouns refer to. Whatever actually happened, innocent death, alien abduction or Chinese submarine extraction, Harold Holt’s life in politics and mysterious disappearance is a fascinating story. Worth reading more about if you have the time and energy.

However, Holt ran for prime minister with the slogan “All the way with LBJ”. The Liberal Party was very much in favour of the Vietnam War and won a land slide election on the promise of continuing that war.

Because, y’know, of course a person isn’t able to just die you fuckin’ sheep; they have to have been an alien themselves the whole time and their disappearance is clearly the result of an abduction by a UFO.

PERIL FROM THE SKIES!

The urban skyline in Australia is thick with buzzing mechanical eyes â&#x20AC;&#x201C; traffic reporters spiralling lazily around in the morning breeze and telling us where not to drive, news crews chasing the most gruesome human tragedy they can find so they can plaster it all over our screens, and boys in blue forever on the heels of petty thieves when the real thieves own our banks and department stores. It can be difficult in the beginning to identify which of these whirring fiends are just glorified camera stands and which are legitimate threats to the minds of the few that are Awake and questioning the lies They feed us. Fortunately, with a little practice and a helpful rhyme, you can learn the silhouettes of these machines and whether you should be afraid without too much trouble. To get you started, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve included drawings of some of the more common helicopters you might spot in the sky above you.

Tori Pearce

red, white and/or blue Typically news helicopters are small and pale in colour. They usually carry no weapons more deadly than the cameras with which they film. They can be found hovering menacingly over traffic jams and public protests, but they do not interfere.

Air Ambulances are larger than news helicopters, and sport bright red and white paint. They may carry armed police. Their purpose is not to watch, but to act. They spring forth from their ‘helipad’ nests and soar towards their destinations at breakneck speed to ‘save lives’. Police helicopters are white and blue and may share the same profile as an Air Ambulance. While they may merely be watching the miniscule pedestrians below them, searching for ‘suspicious’ behaviour, they are not entirely defenceless. They still harbour armed, Government trained, police. Are these helicopters a threat to you? Well, to answer that, you need to ask yourself: “What did I do?”. If you’ve not recently had a heart attack in a place inaccessible to a conventional ambulance (inadvisable), participated in spectacularly grotesque murder (unwise), or held up a 7-11 at gunpoint (avoid doing this), these helicopters will typically ignore you as the insignificant cog in the machine They expect you to be.

black as night Black helicopters come in many shapes and sizes, but you can be sure they’re malicious… except for the one notable exception; the ABC News helicopter is also black and is probably only watching your every move. The ABC still belongs to the Government, so it could have Government Agents in it. Stay wary? I guess? Anyway, the point is; Black helicopters may be carrying mind control rays, armed ‘re-education’ squads, soldiers, the chemical payloads used in chemtrails, aliens, railguns, or any number of other horrors we were not meant to know about.

remember: red, white or blue? what did you do? black as night? get out of sight

Please note: The editors of this magazine and the author of this piece wish to advise that mind control rays, chemtrails, railguns and aliens are not real. There is no shadowy organisation out to get you.

My advice? Take cover. Find something large and solid like a bridge or a railway tunnel and get under it. Failing that, get inside a building. Try to hide yourself somewhere shielded from f lying debris. Always have an escape plan. If anyone asks you what you saw, tell them you only saw the usual everyday things you would have expected to see and you have no idea why they’re asking you. Insist you don’t understand. Insist you don’t know what’s going on. Don’t turn your back to people that ask questions like that. It’s much easier to hit someone that isn’t looking at you.

TREATS

Sarah Giles

‘… I lost myself,’ she croons, ‘when I lost you…’ Something in the air reminds me of everything I’ve ever done, but I can’t ref lect on it all right now. I think it might be time to go to sleep. Thick, smudged letters of black ink spelled out I MISS YOU and they f lailed in the wind on the dirty white smock they were written on. This isn’t an inner city highway; no great number of eyes will observe the message. This road travels through the middle of nothing, right next to the capital of nowhere. But, still on that long and mostly empty road someone hung a sign.

I MISS YOU

I laid eyes on the banner for only a few seconds, but that was all it took. My wondering imagination started building stories about the sign and who it might be meant for.

The buzzing is getting quieter I think. It sounds more like a barley audible whisper now, and there’s music behind it. She sings to me.

I imagined a relationship that was once a whimsical and passion filled beacon of romance, that’s what she thought of it at the time anyway. They met in a bar and hooked-up that night. A one-night stand isn’t enough for either of them, so they keep seeing each other. Getting high, watching ‘Bob’s Burgers’ and when that becomes tedious they fuck until they’re bored again. It’s the pot that makes them feel like they actually love each other, and it only takes a month for her to catch on. She grows tired of the same old stoned, unfocused sex followed by some lame live show of a band whose music she doesn’t even like. Their favourite cartoons, ‘animated series’ he made her call them, are suddenly moronic to her. She leaves him in the middle of the night. He wakes up hours later and thinks for a day or two that she’s going to come back. Maybe a child, a girl, who lost her mother at a young age hung the sign. Or, someone who yearns for the person they used to be hung it, maybe it’s a message to an extra-terrestrial that befriended someone here on Earth before they had to return to their home planet. The buzzing is singing to me again, why won’t she let me sleep? It hurts to be awake; something hurts.

Someone who had to endure the kind of loss most of us are terrified of must have left it

Someone who had to endure the kind of loss most of us are terrified of must have left it. Perhaps a girl whose older sister went missing after going out of town for a horse-riding lesson? Do horses still exist? She never did come back for me. Maybe it was this part of the state that she was headed when she disappeared. And, that’s why her little sister drove so far, to drape a banner hopeful, probably, that her lost sister, or the person who took her, might see it and they would know it was for her and she would finally come home.

‘I put the radio on, hold you tight in my mind…’ Why won’t she be quiet so I can forget, please, I need to rest my mind. ‘Isn’t it strange that you’re not here with me…’ It’s something odd to put on display a sign like that. No dedication, just I MISS YOU, and on a bridge above a highway of all places. I’ve spent hours, probably days, maybe even months when you add it all up, thinking about that sign and I think I finally know who it’s meant for. A message like that isn’t really for anyone at all. It’s for everyone.

I was driving away from my family after a visit over the long weekend. That’s when I saw it. A feeling of growing distance between us, not just the hundreds of kilometres but also something else, had been eating at me. I thought spending some time with them would fix it, naively thinking I was just missing them, but it didn’t help. In fact I always leave feeling worse than before. Never did I imagine a future for myself that did not include them, and yet I find the distance between us getting larger with every second I drive. My life is heading in a direction where they will no longer be able to reach me.

REVIEW: THE KILLING JOKE

It’s a story about a mobster who has fallen in love with Batgirl Jared Berman Beginning the SWINE magazine’s coverage of the Melbourne International Film Festival is a little animated movie, created by small time studio Warner Bros. Animation and produced by DC Comics it is an adaptation of the graphic novel Batman: The Killing Joke.

The movie adds extra content that wasn’t originally in the text and I really enjoyed what they added. It’s a story about a mobster who has fallen in love with Batgirl. Batman sees this as a problem, having a criminal who is unafraid of the vigilantes is not good as their whole gimmick relies on the criminal classes fear of the Batman. This is complicated even further when Batgirl falls for Batman and they have sex after a particular stressful fight. Batman refuses to let Batgirl come with him on the hunt for the mod boss anymore, because of their feelings for each other. But when Batgirl sees an explosion where Batman was last, she rushes over, fights all the goons and beats the boss until he is almost dead.

Starring Kevin Conroy as Batman, Mark Hamill as the Joker, Tara White as Batgirl/Barbara Gordon and Ray Wise as Commissioner Gordon. The Killing Joke follows the stories of Batman, Batgirl and the Joker as the Joker attempts to prove that everyone is just like him, only one bad day away from sinking into madness.

She is stopped by Batman and realises how close she actually came to crossing that line they swore not to cross. To prove his point, the Joker appears out of nowhere at Jim Gordon’s house, shoots Barbara in the spin paralysing her, takes photos of her naked and abducts Jim. The Joker strips Gordon now and puts him on a funhouse ride where he is treated to pictures of his daughter and a demented song about giving up on reality and going insane. The Batman shows up to break this up and finds Gordon in a cage naked, the Joker escapes into the hall of mirrors and as Batman gives chase, Gordon demands that Batman bring in the Joker “by the book” proving that he is stronger than all the Jokers demented tortures.

When Batman finally catches up with the Joker however, Batman proceeds to beat the Joker through the building and to the outside, where the Joker pulls a gun, which is empty. He tells a joke about two inmates in a lunatic asylum and their escape attempt, ref lecting his and Batman’s never ending battle. I really like the additions made by the film, it adds extra context to the story and gives more space to talk about the void Batman references, where there are no consequences for your actions. Where people act on impulse and do only what is best for them with no fear of the repercussions. All this is justifiable as nothing in life matters and anything anyone has ever strived to achieve is meaningless as it can be taken away in an instant.

On to the bad, I really wanted to love every aspect of this movie, but I cannot. There is a problem with taking panels from a comic book and animating it in a two-dimensional environment and that problem is inking. In comics inking is adding extra lines to the art, giving it depth, a sense of life and motion. Without inking the animation comes across as really f lat and dull. Along with minimal motion for the background characters, this creates an atmosphere of a really cheap production.

Without inking the animation comes across as really flat and dull

I enjoyed the music and musical addition to the Gordon torture sequence. In the graphic novel it is just a rhyme, but the movie cranks it up and has Mark Hamill singing to an up-beat musical number. The only thing that tainted my enjoyment of the music was a behind the scenes segment after the credits espousing the f lawless perfection of the music, it just came across as the musicians and producers talking themselves up more than I feel they achieved.

The new first half also confirms what is implied by the text. The Joker fails in his attempt to break Gordon, despite all his efforts Gordon is stronger than the Joker. But when Batman catches up with the Joker, Batman proves he is not able to bring in the Joker by the book. The Joker has paralysed the woman he loves and tortured one of his oldest and closest friends. And so the batman kills the Joker, proving the Jokerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thesis that all people are just one bad day away from madness and in the end, The Batman fails.

The novel may contain violence and gratuity for violence and gratuityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake, but I believe there is still value in its existence

I disagree with Alan Moore; he no longer finds any value in the text. I believe the text gives an introduction to rudimentary nihilistic ideals and opens the door to let people examine those philosophies. The novel may contain violence and gratuity for violence and gratuityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake, but I believe there is still value in its existence. We can use this as an opportunity to talk about the kinds of violence and gratuity we find acceptable and those we do not. Even though these are entirely fictional characters who are exaggerated personas who could not exist in the world, I find value in discussing the motives and reactions of these characters. Additionally, I find it valuable to examine the text from a historical context and discuss the reasons the violence and gratuity exists in the place it does.

It sucks that the Jokers whole plan revolves around assaulting a woman to drive the main stories of the male characters. Maybe the same story could have been told without the sexual assault, but there would still be a problem paralysing a woman to forward the story of the men. If there has to be a sexual assault, then there should at least be fallout from that assault. At the end of the film Barbara is shown to be fully sane and functioning, juggling her regular life with her new crime fighting persona as Oracle, who does all the technical and computer stuff for the Batman family.

There was an additional behind the scenes video prefacing the movie, this one staring Mark Hamill talking about his relationship to the character of the Joker. It was a really interesting interview and anyone who knows me will tell you that I love this BTS shit, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll probably be buying the DVD to see what else is packed into it. Because the other voice actors in The Killing Joke have just as interesting stories to tell and have just as close a relationship to these characters as Mark Hamill does to the Joker. I recommend this movie to comic book fans and those just getting into the genre, tinted with a slight warning that it is not perfection. For all of The SWINE magazineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Melbourne International Film Festival coverage, go to our website for more reviews and features 41

I recommend this movie to comic book fans and those just getting into the genre, tinted with a slight warning that it is not perfection

ALBUM REVIEWS

Zhu GENERATIONWHY Mind of a Genius/Columbia Records Find it on: Spotify

Jack Boffa You might remember Zhu as the anonymous artist who released Faded about two years ago, which received extensive attention and radio play. Zhu has been relatively quiet since then, until now with the release of his debut record, Generationwhy. If you still recall Faded youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know exactly what to expect here; a slew of summer house tracks with slick beats paired with resonant vocals. This is essentially what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re given with each track on the record, as they all tend to fit the definition while, for the most part, standing out from one another on their own. Listening straight through the record is a satisfying experience as the tracks blend into one another quite well whilst changing up the beats accordingly giving continually fresh takes. The lyrics can, at times, come off as somewhat trite and bland; the worst part of an otherwise solid record. Keep an ear out for some of these tracks when summer rolls around.

Jack Boffa Rap producer Michael Volpe, better known by his alias of Clams Casino, has had success in the past collaborating with a number of significant artists such as FKA twigs and A$AP Rocky, the latter of whom appears on his debut solo record. It’s an interesting mashup of two halves. The first consists of a number of heavy, cloud rap style tracks with appearances from Lil B, Vince staples and the aforementioned A$AP Rocky. The second, a starkly contrasting mix up of pop and R&B tunes with vocal collaborators such as Sam Dew and Mikky Ekko. Sadly, neither half of the album is particularly engaging and it all feels a little too reminiscent of the types of tracks that Clams Casino helped popularise for other artists. One of the standout tracks All Nite, for example, features vocals by Vince Staples and sounds as though it could have potentially featured on Vince’s 2015 debut record, Summertime ’06. The result for Clams Casino feels like a somewhat stif led sound, as though he’s trying to fit a mould rather than evolve musically on his own, an admittedly difficult task for any producer to do.

Clams Casino 32 Levels Columbia Records Find it on: Spotify

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1 7 5 2 7 4 1 9 6 9 5 6 7

9 8

5 1 7 3 6 7 1 7 2 3 4 9 7 6 4 5 1 1 9

9 1 6 7 6 5 9 8 4 7 3

sorry about the mistake in #9 <3

Twin Pentagon Towersonon9/11 9/11

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Twin Pentagon Towersonon9/11 9/11

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