Equipping

11 Ways to Support Your Loved One Who's Facing Anxiety

Anxiety is a common struggle that affects countless people, including those who are committed Christians. It can be tempting to assume that someone with anxiety simply needs to trust God more or renew their mind more fully. However, such assumptions can create unnecessary hurt and misunderstanding. Instead, it’s important to recognize that anxiety is often a complex issue requiring compassion, understanding and sometimes professional help.

As both a pastor and therapist, I’ve seen how misinterpreting scripture or applying it insensitively can add to the burdens of those living with anxiety. Yet, when approached with care, scripture can also be a source of healing.

Let’s consider Romans 12:1-2, which encourages us to “offer your bodies as a living sacrifice” and to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” It’s easy to conclude that once you offer to God your body as a living sacrifice, you won’t struggle with anxiety. We might look at a loved one struggling with anxiety and wonder, have they presented themselves fully to God? How are they pleasing to God with anxiety? Have they been intentional about renewing their minds? Have they been transformed?

But keep in mind that the renewing of the mind is a regenerating process, one that the Holy Spirit begins and concludes. It is a way of having the mind oriented so we can do what this verse says, which is to be able to find out what God’s will is. For many, the renewing of the mind comes with the assistance of a mental health professional.

As a pastor and therapist, I have the pleasure of providing tools and resources so we can know how to care for loved ones with anxiety, even when we don’t understand it. I believe that God is compassionate and He understands that in our broken world, we can have broken, anxious hearts.

Now, let’s explore practical ways to support a loved one with anxiety by considering what actions to avoid and what to embrace.

DON’T:

1. Jump to conclusions. Avoid thinking that anxiety is simply a lack of faith or trust in God. Anxiety is often rooted in biological, psychological and situational factors, and those who are formally diagnosed would do anything to escape the feelings of threat, doom and panic.

2. Use unkind words. Steer clear of phrases like “You’re crazy; you need help.” Instead, offer support in a loving way, such as: “I’d love to see you enjoy the life you’re working so hard to create. Would you consider talking to someone who can help you navigate this anxiety?”

3. Diagnose them yourself. Everyone feels anxious at times, but diagnosing an anxiety disorder requires professional expertise. If you suspect a disorder, encourage your loved one to seek help rather than trying to label or fix the issue yourself.

4. Avoid showing compassion. Don’t hold back compassionate words or actions out of fear that it might enable anxiety. Your gentle, prayerful support can be a lifeline for someone who is struggling.

5. Judge their treatment choices. If medication is part of their journey toward mental health, respect their decision. Trust that God can use many tools, including medication, to bring healing and renewal.

DO:

1. Keep an open mind. Understand that not everyone processes life the same way you do. Respect their unique experience and be willing to learn from it.

2. Show compassion. Anxiety can make the world feel overwhelming and unpredictable. Offering empathy and kindness can help create a sense of safety and understanding.

3. Be a spiritual encourager. Remind them of God’s love and their worth as His children. Share scriptures that affirm God’s presence and compassion without being preachy or dismissive of their feelings.

4. Stay calm during crises. If they experience symptoms like a panic attack, remain composed and help create a calming environment. Your calmness can help them find their own.

5. Offer meaningful encouragement. Share scriptures and personal experiences that uplift and resonate. Be mindful of timing and tone to ensure your words are truly helpful.

6. Recognize that anxiety is universal. Everyone feels overwhelmed at times. Normalize this while encouraging them to seek tools and resources to thrive.

By practicing these approaches, we can better support loved ones with anxiety, offering them the compassion and understanding they need to navigate their challenges.

By Deidra-Ann Masese, Alpha International Seventh-day Adventist Church Pastor and Therapist at Center for Hope Counseling