1 minute read
I Am What I Am
from 2018 | Tabula Rasa
by Tabula Rasa
by Adam Fallick (7)
How do I put this into words? How do I speak about my life in two minutes or less? All I can say is, I’m friends with girls. I say things like, “You go, girl!” or “Yass!” But people judge me based on these words. Do these words define me? I guess they do. People place me in a box, put a label on the side. Gay. Sure, I may be gay, but I’ve learned that it’s my job to define myself, and my job to make my life.
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It’s difficult to live away from the other kids. I’ve never exactly fit in, never been like the rest of the boys. Kids gossip, say things like, “Him over there? He’s gay” or “That kid over there? She’s a retard.” I’ve lived with a family that raised me to accept and love everyone’s differences. I’m gay. Who cares? It doesn’t make me intolerable or gross.
According to The Daily Beast, 4% of the population now identifies as LGBT, or lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender. That’s not including the people who haven’t come out. So no, I won’t accept this bullying, because I’m not the only one! There are millions of people worldwide that have struggled with being different; I’m not alone. And
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I’ve got a whole community behind me that supports me when life tries to burn me down. Not only have I struggled with my sexuality and how to handle being who I am, but I also had severe OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder, for over a year. I would go to bed and get back up, to make sure that everything was where I left it, perfectly straight, unlike me. I used my OCD to curb my anxiety over being gay, using my environment to “fix” what I know now doesn’t need to be fixed.
I’ve learned that I can be me without limits, and I don’t need to be put in boxes — I can make my own box. I will continue to say, “Yasss queen,” and guess what? I’ve been judged so much, I don’t care what anybody thinks of me. I don’t mind if I am judged, and no one can affect me or sway me. I am me, and I have learned to bring out the perfections in my imperfections, and to love myself for who I am.
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