CLEARING MENTAL NOISE

SAY YES TO FREEDOM

4 Admissions to Free Up Mental Real Estate

By Dori Gomes

Have you ever considered the thoughts claiming your mental real estate? Rarely do we pause to think about what we think about, but we should. The echo chamber of our mind often reveals our shortcomings and fears. As a result, thoughts of shame, guilt, and frustration live there rent-free, but we have the power to give these intrusive thoughts an eviction notice and use our minds healthily and productively. Dr. Jim Loehr, the author of The Power of Story, suggests we spend 95% of our mental whitespace trying to align our world in our head, with our primary concerns focused on ourselves, how we perform, react, respond, and overcome. Too often, we become overconsumed by thoughts that hold us back. He suggests eliminating them by naming and dealing with them rather than ruminating on them. By nature, we are master narrators. We spend much of our mental whitespace thinking about how things could and should have happened. I call this mental reeling when we create narratives in our minds to give us a desirable outcome for things that may not occur. The following admissions help remove unproductive thought patterns and make progress rather than think about it. Admit that you have no idea what you are doing. Often, we allow the weight of others’ expectations to make us feel like we must know how to do everything. Much of life presents a learning curve. Give yourself space to learn and ask for direction when you need it. Do not allow yourself to be consumed by thoughts of imposture syndrome. Admit when you have overcommitted. The weight of expectation invites us to often say “yes.” Rather than worry about how you will get it all done, admit you overcommitted and free yourself from obligations when possible. Admit when you need help. We often go at it alone. We view asking for help as a weakness, though we never make such assumptions about others. Instead of overwhelming your mind with to-do lists, invite others to help. Admit you are reeling and commit to quitting. Dr. Melanie Greenberg, a clinical psychologist and author of The Stress-Proof Brain, approximates that 85% of the things we worry about never happen. Train your mind to focus on what is, not what may be.