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ON THE COVER: BERNEICE COX COMPASSIONATE PURPOSE
Berneice Cox
COMPASSIONATE PURPOSE
By Heather Thomas | Photography Kira Derryberry
For many who grow up in and around poverty, there's a before and an after. It's a moment when they realize that their world isn't like the one others are living in, and then nothing is ever the same again. There is a type of insulated innocence about the time before they knew that not every family struggles to keep the lights on, put food on the table, or that they are one crisis away from losing everything.
This is a moment Berneice Cox, President and CEO of the United Way of the Big Bend (UWBB), has experienced personally. Because of it, she feels uniquely called to lead the community-wide effort in the Big Bend to assist those in poverty and at the edge of poverty—the ALICE population. Compassionate. Purposeful. Driven. Berneice is an inspirational powerhouse of background, skillsets, and vision that started in a small town on a small farm in Greeneville, Tennessee.
Growing up the youngest of seven children, Berneice doesn't remember a time when she wasn't helping her family by working on their farm and even the farms of others as a sharecropper. "We grew organic produce before organic was cool. It wasn't until later in life that I appreciated how we canned vegetables, made fresh bread and our own clothes—we did not have a lot of storebought items. I didn't know we grew up in poverty. We just lived it."
Compared to her sisters, Berneice preferred being outside driving the tractor or working alongside her father and brothers in the crop fields, the family's main source of income. "I learned a lot about turning fields, tending the cows, and taking the crops to the market for winter. I helped my mother with three gardens, but I did not have a green thumb like my sisters!"
It was long hours of hard work, and there wasn't a lot to go around, but there was always room for others at their table. "It was a warm and welcoming environment. We were the home that neighbors liked to visit. My mother was unconditional love all the way. One of her mottos was, 'If you look for the good in someone you will always find it.' It's all about how you care for people— treat people how you want to be treated, despite their station in life."
Another facet of poverty is access to higher education and a family's perception of it. "My father felt that after you graduated high school, he had completed his support of your education. I watched four brothers go into the military—Army, Navy, Marines and the Air Force. My sisters took different avenues as well. I'm extremely proud of all of them."
However, Berneice had different aspirations. She loved to read, excelled in school, and was a student-athlete on the track team. "In my family, you had to be out of house by the time you were done with high school. At 17 years-old I was on my own, working two jobs and became the first one in my family to go to college." Statistics show that first-generation college graduates change the dynamics of an entire family. Berneice experienced this first-hand with her nieces and nephews. "They saw what I was able to do and knew that they could do it too. Many of them have excelled beyond their aunt. It's a generational change—if you see one person in the family take that bold step, it's a true indicator to what can happen to the rest of the family."
During college, Berneice met her first husband, whom she later married. They moved to Orlando, Florida, for job opportunities, and when her son was nine months old, they relocated to Tallahassee. Around the time her son turned three, Berneice went through a divorce and became a single parent. Unbeknownst to her at the time, she joined the ranks of what is known today as the ALICE population. ALICE stands for Asset Limited, Income Constrained, Employed and includes those in poverty. It is a strategic direction of fundraising for the UWBB. Berneice says, "It's made up of those who live in poverty above the poverty line, but whose salary does not cover the costs of living-expenses such as childcare, food, transportation and healthcare. These individuals are working—often times at more than one job—but are still unable to provide for themselves and their families."
According to the ALICE Report, 46% of Florida households fall into this category, and 53.6% of the households in the UWBB eight-county service area are at ALICE or below the Federal Poverty Level, with Leon County at 49%. Berneice worked a fulltime job and two part-time jobs and still struggled to make ends meet. "I worried
about food, rent, and childcare. It was a challenging time, but I learned about my strengths and weakness."
Living in poverty or near it can be like endlessly treading water alone in a wideopen ocean, motivated by a fear of survival that if you stop moving your arms, you and your family will drown. You can't see the land of opportunity on the horizon when your perspective is all about making sure you stay afloat. Berneice saw a life preserver in the form of becoming a lobbyist. "I was employed by a management company that worked with associations and had an opportunity to write reports for legislative newsletters and I was good at it. I pitched to three law firms that they needed a nonattorney lobbyist. Basically, my mindset was, if I never remarry, how can I support my family? Lobbying looked like a good way to go and so I went for it." This began a 20-year career in the lobbying field representing clients in the state legislature, which included starting her own firm, allowing her to expand clients to the United States Congress and Senate. "I always felt comfortable working with whatever party was in power. It goes back to how I was raised—I never see party, I see people. I have my opinions, but I respect others and am willing to see things from multiple points of view." This was an ideal vantage point to have when the opportunity to host a TV show— "Our Issues Tallahassee"—came along in 2013. "I didn't like being on camera and would rather be behind the scenes. As a lobbyist I was behind the scenes, and that's a comfort level that I knew needed pushing. We say to our boys that you need to face things that are uncomfortable. I took the leap after talking to my son about his fear of a certain challenge. I said, 'You know what? If you face that challenge, I'm going to face one of my largest fears and try out for this TV show position.' When I got the job, I was one of the most shocked people in the community!" One person who is never shocked by Berneice's courage and tenacity is her biggest fan and husband, former Leon County Commissioner and Emmy Awardwinning producer, Gary Yordon. They've been through a lot together, including the death of Gary's handicapped son Zachary. Navigating the loss of a child was a testament to their love and strength as a team. "Gary was my friend before we were married. I think if your relationship is based on friendship it can survive a lot of things. Watching him lose his son and how he dealt with that and how we navigated our grief as a family was amazing. His coping mechanism is humor and he is clever and he is fun, but he's also thoughtful, sensitive, and has a huge heart for all people in our community."
Serving in the community became a way to honor Zachary's memory and that of her family. Among the many organizations Berneice volunteered with are the KCCI Cascades Park Project, Word of South Festival, Tusculum University Alumni Executive Committee, Women for FSU, a UWBB volunteer, then a board member and later served as its Chair. "I value each of these organizations but United Way spoke to me in a different way than all of the others. I was in the ALICE population. It took me a while to share my personal story, but that changed when I heard a single mom talk about her struggles. Her vulnerability sparked my own story sharing. It opened my eyes to how important it is to share what you have been through, and that poverty wears many faces. I've had many single moms reach out to me and ask, 'How did you do it?' It gives people hope."
Continuing to give people hope is what eventually led her to become the leader of UWBB in 2019 when the former CEO, Katrina Rolle, stepped into the position of President / CEO of the Community Foundation of North Florida. She was named interim president and then was asked to head the organization. "I had not planned to be the CEO. God took control of this one because it really is a passion. I get to wake up every single day and come to work and impact those in poverty and at the edge of poverty. All that has happened in my life has prepared me for this position." Even though our region has faced many hardships and changes since COVID-19, one thing has remained: the commitment of UWBB to lend a hand and heart to those struggling. Helping someone out of poverty is not just about getting their basic needs met—it's about giving people opportunities that help them take ownership of their own personal power. They begin to believe that they matter and that their life has a purpose beyond mere survival, experiencing firsthand how their community cares about them. In the season of giving, the gifts of love and hope are the greatest gifts of all.
There's another before and after when it comes to poverty—those who have experienced it and then chose to help others find their 'after' too. Berneice is the embodiment of the mission of UWBB but also of the fierce grace that women who have been through adversity possess, giving them an inner passion for connecting and inspiring at a deeper level. From a small-town farm girl to now a grandmother of five grandchildren, Berneice looks back on her experiences and sees the gifts that came from the struggles. She hopes that her life will serve as an example to the generations to come. "I wouldn't change my experience with poverty and hardship for anything. It helped give me appreciation, perspective, and light this fire in me that burns bright for others. Everyone deserves to live with dignity and respect. If I were to leave any legacy, it would be one in which I made everyone feel worthy of unconditional love and compassion."
