Even though I don’t know you all that well, I truly feel that I can completely trust you.
I know that you won’t jud-ge me, I feel that you will really help me.
Maybe I’m crazy, but I feel I have a really strong connection with you.
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I’m a really pathetic person, I can’t even express myself properly, I’m a dork.
Yesterday afternoon I was sad, and I’d be lying if I said I said I didn’t want you to know what I was feeling.
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I was doubting my existence and as usual I was looking down on myself.
Someone else could’ve done so much better...
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As I walked down the street, I saw this poor old lady trying to sell earnings to students that passed by.
I had talked to her once before, she told me she sold those earnings only to earn money so she could spend the night in a motel and not on the street...
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It was then that realized that my life wasn’t so bad, in fact it wasn’t bad at all. Still there was something I didn’t understand, if my life wasn’t bad,
The thing is I’m living a life that many people would kill to have... and yet I don’t want it.
Why was it that that I hated myself so much? Why did i want to end it?
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I then bought something from one of those craftsmen that display their work on the floor near the bus stop.
What I had bought wasn’t on display, it was something a bit different from what they normally sell.
I put it in my pocket and headed to the bus stop.
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I had to sit on the floor because it was really full.
On the way home, I felt I was falling apart, I felt a knot in my throat.
I was trying not to cry...
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It was then I decided to take a little piece of paper that was in my pocket and place it in my mouth.
God knows why it tasted so weird, it was kind of bitter but at the same time it had a vanilla flavour.
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By the time I got home I felt a lot better.
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I had something to eat, then I hit the road again.
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That’s when insanity hit me, a million thoughts came all at once to my mind, the sound of cars passing by became louder, the lights became brighter and I felt I was surrounded by people, yet I was alone.
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You, you were the first person that crossed my mind. I desperately started looking for you.
You became the one thing on my mind, the one thing that could bring peace and tranquillity to me again.
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I walked and I walked. I was so focused on finding you that I forgot it was raining. Soon I found myself in the park in front of your house, at that point I felt a little more at ease. But I was scared, overwhelmed...
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I wanted you to notice me, I was willing to stay there all night until you did. That’s the sad part... I felt pity for myself because I knew I was capable of doing so.
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