Hashtag MomFail

Fall Disasters Make Fun Memories

Written by Jamie Johnson

As leaves begin falling and the pumpkin spice emerges from its cabinet, we are reminded of the upcoming fall season. There will be cooler temperatures, sweaters, fires, Ugg boots, and Crocs with wool socks.

Other tell-tale signs of fall in Owensboro will appear. Friday night football games will begin, the kids will start planning their Halloween costumes, and Mark’s Fireworks Outlet will turn back into Mark’s Mattress Outlet.

You will begin planning all the fun fall activities that your family will do and the amazing photos you will capture that will adorn your home and social media accounts.

I do love fall with my boys. Soccer season starts and they play outside without complaining about how hot it is. We stay busy on the weekends visiting Trunnel’s and Reid’s Orchard and picking out pumpkins. We have made some amazing memories. But many of our fall activities have actually turned into complete disasters, so here are a few small reality checks.

FALL FAMILY PHOTOS

Myth: Fall family photos will be quick and easy. They will look super cute with the new sweaters you picked out for the family.

Reality: It can still get pretty warm in October, especially when wearing sweaters. The entire family will be sweating in under 15 minutes. The littlest one will have missed a nap and the older one will cry because he wants to hold a three-foot stuffed dinosaur in every picture. The family dog will escape his leash and terrorize the nearest pedestrian.

You will end up with some funny memories and great photographs after everyone gets over the disaster that just occurred. That might take a few days.

THE CORN MAZE

Myth: Going into this corn maze with my small children is a good idea.

Reality: I love Trunnels and I love the corn maze and we go every single year, but one year that corn maze traumatized me. The baby had just started running. So, following him in a maze was top-notch fun. The oldest was deep into potty training. Five minutes in and he shouted that he had to poop. And that meant he needed to go NOW. I had to pick him up and run my way out of the maze. I did not do a good job at that. Luckily, I was wearing tennis shoes. We had to book it to the nearest porta-potty, which was uphill from the corn maze. If you have ever been in a porta potty with a small child on a hot day, you will understand why I’m so traumatized.

THANKSGIVING DINNER

Myth: This dinner will look like Marta Stewart cooked it and my family will devour every last bite.

Reality: You will slave over a hot stove all day making a turkey and an array of sides for your family. You will put literal tears, sweat, and possibly blood into that meal. Your children

will run under your feet and stick their tiny fingers in every ingredient. They will also want to help, which is cute until you realize you actually have to accomplish something that day. You will finally pull it all together, smile at your skills, realize it might look more like Marty Stewart made it than Martha Stewart, and let everyone know it’s time to eat. Your significant other will eat approximately 75% of the meal. You will not eat anything because you are full from making and eating the food all day. Your children will eat half a roll, one bite of a green bean, three sliced pickles, and a meager helping of macaroni and cheese. They will proceed to ask for chicken nuggets or ice cream.

I hope that my fall disasters help you recall some of your own or serve as a reminder to turn autumn mishaps into funny stories and funnier memories.

Enjoy your time with your little ones as much as you can! OP

JAMIE JOHNSON is a full-time working mom to two little boys, wife to Logan, and part-time writer. Her pieces have been featured in HuffPost Parents, Motherly, Today Parents and PopSugar Moms. You can follow her blog at HashtagMomFail.com!