HOW MARRIAGE COUNSELING CAN SAVE RELATIONSHIPS Marriage counseling has an extremely positive effect on many people's lives. As a concept it is fast catching on in India as well. Gone are the days when a man or a woman was satisfied being complacent in a relationship. The regressive ideal of a woman who suffers in silence went out the window ages ago and things have reached a new level of expectations. Every married couple faces issues in their relationship from time to time and that is completely normal and healthy. What we are talking about here though has more to do with those recurring issues that many couples face and find difficult to resolve. At such moments, expert intervention is needed and that’s where marriage counselling comes in handy. Typically, in couple therapy, the psychologist will have joint sessions with both the parties. The first part of these sessions will ideally be focused on hearing both sides of the story. However, instead of turning it into a debate, a good couple’s therapist will draw out some boundaries and lay down a few ground rules. Next, through guided conversations and honest revelations, the therapist will help the couple identify patterns and problem areas in their relationship that leads them to conflict time and again. This enables couples to be more aware of their triggers and what are the forces that can drive a wedge between them again. The next task after identifying these patterns and understanding conflict triggers involves changing behavior patterns. Very often it has to do with certain behavioral aspects of one or both the parties and they may knowingly or unknowingly be setting into motion a series of events that leads to the recurring conflicts. Another important point is that many couples fight over trivial issues, but their actual conflict lies hidden beneath layers of pride and resentment. In such situations, it is the therapist’s job to unearth these causes and help couples talk about them better. Ideally, through couples’ therapy, married couples can start communicating better with each other. A good therapist would rather teach them how to function better on their own than have them visit him time and again for guidance. Couples who have attended therapy are able to not only interact better with each other but also effectively communicate their problems with each other. They become more aware of the fact that it’s not only what they say that causes problems but also how they say it. As a result, they learn how to be better human beings to each other. Another important point is that they learn to address their problems head on rather than sweeping things under the rug. This is an extremely healthy habit which can be inculcated only through therapy. Couples therapy and family counseling are all a response to the changing social and family dynamics in the Indian society. The jobs done by therapists in this field is truly commendable as they find new ways to help people have better relationships with each other.
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