Valentine's Day 2019
MANNAL BABAR CONTRIBUTING WRITER
Love is in the air this Valentine’s Day. Rose teddy bears and #RelationshipGoals circulating our Twitter and Instagram feeds are another reminder of how important love is in our lives. Love comes in all shapes, sizes, forms and narratives. But love today can be defined by the content we view on social media. SEE MESSAGES ON PAGE V-DAY 3
Valentine's Day Page 2
February 14, 2019
Sounds of love: Top tunes about love, loss from 2018 ALMIER MCCOY CONTRIBUTING WRITER
Being in love, or the feeling that love brings, isn’t always straightforward. When choosing to display your vulnerabilities to a love interest, you run the risk of enduring heartache and pain as a direct result of the love interest not reciprocating the same feelings in return. Listed below are some of the best love songs released since last Valentine’s Day, which display the different stages of what love brings.
“LOVE LIES” BY KHALID & NORMANI
Released exactly a year ago, “Love Lies” is part of the soundtrack for the movie “Love, Simon.” The tune is about wanting clarification that someone loves you. In this day and age, admitting that you love someone is easier said than done, especially when there is the fear of rejection from a potential love interest.
“STAY” BY POST MALONE
Love doesn’t always have a happy ending, and this song
isn’t about the butterflies that come with being in love. Instead, it tackles the miser y, confusion and denial that comes when couples tr y to make something work even after the flame has died.
“R.E.M” BY ARIANA GRANDE
“R.E.M,” like many of Grande’s other songs, involves daydreaming about the perfect significant other. And while it's a bit of denial, in the sense that you may never meet this person, it's still fun to imagine what could happen if that day ever came.
“FLOATING” BY ALINA BARAZ (FEAT. KHALID)
Any record that features Khalid is sure to have you in your feelings, and this single is no different. “I’m swimming in everything you said” is the mesmerizing feeling you get when any and everything the person that you love says or does places you on cloud nine. In this stage of love, you're so wrapped up in this person that you're near blind to any imperfections.
“CALL OUT MY NAME” BY THE WEEKND
What else would one expect from The Weeknd, other than a sad song about the result of being vulnerable and it going horribly wrong? “Call Out My Name" is the perfect song for anyone dealing with an immense amount of heartbreak after being used as a pawn in someone else’s game of love.
most of her time fixing someone after they’ve lost it all. In a cruel twist, she ultimately gets placed on the back burner when the significant other reaches a high point in their life.
While the music industry is voften unpredictable, it’s clear that love songs will persist yearround, providing all the more tunes to add to your Valentine’s Day playlist.
“EVERYTIME” BY ARIANA GRANDE
Throughout this song, Grande keeps finding excuses as to why she goes back to the same relationship that constantly brings pain. It just goes to show that there is an addiction that comes from being around someone that's clearly no good. The song describes the adrenaline rush that accompanies the feeling of love, ultimately masking the reality of it all.
“WITHOUT ME” BY HALSEY
Halsey opens this number one hit with the words “found you when your heart was broke,” referring to a relationship in which she spends
Khalid hopped on the music scene with the 2017 hit love song "Location," and the soulful singer has been singing in the key of love ever since. WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
Cupid's ancient origins TAYLOR DUA COPY EDITOR
European interest in chocolate and the establishment of Valentine's Day both coincided with the Victorian era. Now chocolate is associated with Valentine's Day around the world. PIXABAY
Heart-shaped box: V-Day's signature ELIZABETH LEOCE
Queen Victoria of Great Britain in 1837. Then, Valentine’s Day was transformed into a commercial holiday. Chocolate was on the rise and chocolate houses became more dominant. Victorians showered their significant others with gifts and cards. Soon, chocolates were to be packaged into decorated heartshaped boxes with roses and Cupids. Later, people would use the beautiful boxes to save mementos such as love letters. From that point on, giving chocolate on Valentine’s Day became one of the most romantic gestures for lovers around the world. If you are looking for some-
DARK CHOCOLATE MOUSSE
Ingredients 5 1/4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped What is the secret behind the 14 ounces cold heavy cream “relationship” between chocolate 3 large egg whites and Valentine’s Day? We all know 1 ounce sugar Valentine’s Day is associated with Sweetened whipped cream, for the hearts, roses and romance, garnish, optional but where does the idea of giftShaved bittersweet chocolate, ing chocolate come from? Stores for garnish, optional across the globe have been sellDirections ing truffles, SweeTARTS and Place the chocolate in a large bowl, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates set over a stove at a low simmer. Stir since the holiday season. Is it beit until it's melted. Turn off the heat cause chocolate has aphrodisiac and let it stand. Beat the cream over qualities or is chocolate a way for ice until it forms soft peaks. Set it stores to make a profit? aside and hold at room temperature. Chocolate has been around With a mixer, whip the egg whites since the time of the Aztecs. Chocto soft peaks. olate, in either Gradually add liquid or cacao the sugar and bean form, is “We all know Valentine's Day is associated with the continue whiptightly rooted in luxury and hearts, roses and romance, but where does the idea of ping until firm. Remove the was, and still is, gifting chocolate come from?” chocolate from valued among the stove and, tribes and using a whisk, trade. By nature, chocolate is luxurious and in- thing to make for your significant fold in the egg whites. When the dulgent and has always been a gift other this Valentine’s Day, serving whites are almost completely incorof appreciation. Chocolate arrived up a dark chocolate mousse will porated, fold in the whipped cream. Cover the mousse and refrigerate in Europe during the early 16th be sure to set the mood for the century as a result of the Spanish night. Delicious and versatile, this for approximately 1 hour or until set. mousse only takes approximately Serve in your favorite glasses topped conquest of the Aztec civilization. Valentine’s Day was not fully 15 minutes of prep time and can with more whipped cream and shaved chocolate, if desired. established until the crowning of provide 4 to 6 servings. CORRESPONDENT
As the schoolyard song goes, “first comes love, then comes marriage — then comes the baby in the baby carriage.” Yet the order gets shuffled around come Valentine’s Day, with a very special baby taking the lead: Cupid. A diapered cherub, he’s the culprit — and usually the scapegoat — behind many of the hopeless romantics’ grand gestures. But how did we come to hold a chubby child archer accountable for our trials and tribulations in love? Aside from the lack of enthusiasm toward claiming responsibility for our own actions, the culmination of Cupid’s reputation can be traced back to early Greek mythology. Instead of a child, Cupid was Eros, the god of love. Though it's unclear who his exact parents are, one theory was that he was the son of Aphrodite, goddess of love, and Ares, god of war, which would explain his romantic ambitions and the athletic accuracy. With this, he would — as is commonly known — strike people with arrows that would make them fall in love with other people ... most times. When Eros was
later translated into Roman mythology as Cupid, he shot the god Apollo with a golden arrow that afflicted him with an obsession with Phoebus’s nymph daughter Daphne — whom Cupid had shot with a leaden arrow, causing her to abhor him in return. In another scenario, Venus (Aphrodite’s Roman counterpart), the vain deity she is, had bid her son to sabotage an especially attractive mortal, Psyche, by making her fall in love with a monster. Instead, Cupid himself had fallen in love with her and, much to the chagrin of his mother, made Psyche immortal so that she may be his wife. For a god that many put their faith in to determine their romantic fates, he can be pretty reckless, impulsive and just plain stupid. It really says a lot about how we act when in love ourselves. Love can wield us about like dolls, holding us completely at its mercy and making us do crazy things. But, what’s important to remember is that our actions are ultimately our own, and while it may be easy to shove everything onto the back of a winged babe, it's more rewarding to fall in love with ourselves first and let the chips fall where they may.
Cupid, popularly believed to be the child of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, has had his fair share of mishaps. Cupid's missteps regarding love are not unlike our own. UNSPLASH
February 14, 2019
Valentine's Day Page 3
MESSAGES Social media may inadvertently shift expectations of love CONTINUED FROM FRONT
Being in love, as a millennial, feels like being tied to this pressure of proving your affection for somebody on social media. It means understanding how your social media apps can influence the way you define love. You may not even realize that the content you're absorbing online can negatively affect your reality. I have been with my significant other for three years. I remember I wanted a big bouquet of flowers so badly for Valentine's Day last year. Almost every girl I was following on Twitter was posting about how simple and cute a gift of flowers was for Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend ended up getting me an adorable stuffed animal and a box of chocolates that had heartfelt sayings under each piece. While I was so happy that he gave me such thoughtful gifts, a part of me was sad that I didn’t get flowers. My heart was so set on the revolving pictures of bouquets on my timeline that represented what love was supposed to look like that I wasn’t paying attention to the love given to me. Sarah Arshad, a School of Arts and Sciences junior, said she thinks social media negatively affects the way we view relationships today. “Social media forces us to look at love through a rose-colored filter. We only see the best parts of a relationship.
But relationships at their core are rooted in compromise. We don’t see people talking about the difficult times that their love has to go through," she said. It's rare to come across a testimony of getting through a tough time in your relationship when scrolling through pictures and videos on social media. Many peo-
ple tend to show us only the happiest moments of their lives, and leave out the argument that might have happened right before the picture was taken. In my experience, I come from a community where dating isn’t something that we openly take part in. The only representation of healthy love that I’ve seen in my life is through my married parents taking care of each other throughout my childhood. Other than that, the only exposure as to how relationships in my teenage years were supposed to look like was either through movies or so-
cial media. I didn’t realize how the standards people set when defining love online were only half of the story. This one-sided picture of love on social media not only negatively affects the way we view relationships, but also influences how we look at ourselves. When somebody I was interested in didn’t do certain things for me in our relationship, it made me feel as though there was something wrong with me. The way we define love is also connected to the type of love that we think we deserve. Someone
When viewing social media, it's crucial to remember that you're seeing everyone's highlight reel. Letting Instagram feeds dictate your love life is the beginning of a dangerous game. UNSPLASH
can fall into a cycle of comparing their love life and what they're going through to the very best memories of people on Instagram without realizing it. This can leave more room for insecurities to fester, and creates a space where toxic habits between partners can end up being normalized. “I find myself not being pressured purposely, but feeling like I have to conform to this standard of love that my significant other is seeing online where we have to document everything we do, or I have to get her a gift that she’s seen on Twitter,” said Promise Ashu, a Mason Gross School of the Arts sophomore. Being in a relationship isn’t easy to begin with, and due to the high expectations that many set on social media, people hold on to a specific version of love. Love is defined by two people who choose to come together because they want to be with each other. Love is whatever you need and want it to be. It's not only a fleeting feeling, but it's a choice made everyday. Being in a relationship where I’ve had to understand that my definition of love is not the same as my partner’s is difficult but necessary. I've learned that relationships involve trial and error, but what matters is understanding your partner while preserving your own mental and physical health. Love that breaks your spirit or drives you into the negatives of your bank account due to false expectations isn’t what you need. This Valentine’s Day, as love is in the air, remember that love comes in all forms, shapes and narratives, and that you have the power to define it.
Galentine's Day 2019 CLARISSA GORDON
courtesy of Krispy Pizza and a candy station. What more could a girl ask for? Within minutes of the event If you’re a fan of "Parks and Recreation,” you’re probably fa- opening to the public, hoards of miliar with the “Galentine’s Day” students rushed to the event’s episode. In the words of Leslie entrance. College students are Knope, Galentine’s Day — al- notorious for loving free things, ways recognized on Feb. 13 — is especially from brands like Aerie, about celebrating lady friends. Al- Victoria’s Secret, Bumble and Exthough Amy Poehler’s character press, who were all tabling at the insisted it be a national holiday, event while hosting raffles and Galentine’s Day isn’t quite there handing out free products. “The free stuff is definitely why yet, although it’s becoming more we came, but popular among it’s also fun girl gangs evto do someery year. thing festive The com“... heart-shaped slices with your mercialization courtesy of Krispy Pizza g i r l f r i e n d s , ” and corniness Hannah of Valentine’s and a candy station. What said Chwalk, a Day makes School of Arts the holiday a more could a girl and Sciences dreaded one ask for?” senior. She and for singles, her two friends making a GaRadha Katkamlentine’s celewar, a School of bration both a satire as well as an alternative way Arts and Sciences junior, and Julia D’Aguanno, a School of Arts and to show loved ones you care. In collaboration with Rutgers Sciences sophomore, were just Recreation, coordinators at The one group of many who posed Yard @ College Avenue jumped with witty signs and funky acceson the bandwagon with their sories for the digital photo booth. own rendition on Wednesday Unlike a traditional photo booth, night, giving Rutgers students party goers could not only enjoy — regardless of gender or re- print-out versions of their photos, lationship status — a reason to but also were emailed copies percelebrate. The Galentine’s Day fect for social media posts. Based on the lively crowd and event, held in the main lounge of the Sojourner Truth Apartments, plethora of goodies, it looks like offered plenty of complimentary Rutgers’ take on Galentine’s Day attractions, including massag- will give Valentine’s Day a run for es, eyebrow threading, a photo its money. Who says the holiday is booth, raffles, heart-shaped slices only for couples to enjoy? CORRESPONDENT
Ironically, having ambition outside the relationship is one of the best ways to keep a partnership healthy. Separate career interests can work toward a common romantic good. UNSPLASH
Tips to balance work, love life CLARISSA GORDON CORRESPONDENT
Between juggling a full-time course schedule, internship or job while still maintaining a social life, it’s sometimes hard to imagine how we could make time for another person when we barely prioritize ourselves. Still, we all see cute couples on campus, and it’s hard not to find yourself wanting a loving, fun companionship, too. On the other hand, your friends who are dating might also tell you how hard it is to balance college and a healthy relationship. It is Valentine’s Day, so if you’re feeling particularly lovey-dovey today, here are some tips for making that budding romance work for you.
BE ON THE SAME PAGE
Having a partner who prioritizes academics and extracurriculars in the same way you do is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship in college. If one of
you is slacking off, the lazy one in the relationship might start to demand more time from their partner and not understand or unconsciously hinder their S.O.’s hustle. Plus, if you have an ambitious partner, their motivation and dedication could rub off on you. Abby Fallon, a School of Arts and Sciences senior, credits independence as one of the keys to success in a relationship. “When either of us needs to focus on school and alone time, we respect that and give each other space. It’s a lot of equal give and get, because if one person is giving too much, then that would affect their own education and work negatively,” Fallon said. If you’ve found someone that compliments your grind, it might be a match made in heaven.
SET A SCHEDULE
This might be stating the obvious, but keep your partner’s schedule in mind when creating
your own. To play it safe, it’s generally best to prioritize academic and professional obligations first and get them done during the week, that way you can enjoy your weekends with your boo. Squeezing in study dates isn’t a bad idea either, as long as you’re doing more studying than flirting. “(My boyfriend) lives down the street, but because our school and work schedules are extremely different this semester, I don’t get to see him as often. We always set aside time to hang out,” Fallon said.
STAY FOCUSED
You don’t want to look back on your college years and wonder if a serious relationship is what prevented you from achieving more. Avoid skipping out on networking and social opportunities because of a romantic relationship, and of course prioritize school first. You’re paying a fortune for this opportunity, after all, so give it your best shot.