The Best Of Ellijay, Blue Ridge & Jasper "FUNpaper" #9

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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

A bargain is junk you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. - FRANKLIN JONES

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DON’T MISS The Next First Saturday Celebration August 3rd

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up. - ANONYMOUS

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6 We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. - ROBERT WILENSKY

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - ANONYMOUS

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ne of the nice things about North Georgia is that places don’t really seem as far away from one another when you consider the beautiful scenery you have along the way. I say a drive through the country can be good for all of us. Hit the decompression button, turn on some tunes, and enjoy the ride because we’re going fishing. My friend Todd Stalcup and I are heading to the Upper Chattahoochee headwaters to fish for rainbow trout.

Story By Bayou Betty He is showing me this stretch of river for the Photos By Bayou Betty first time.

Our destination is just north of Helen, GA, over yonder from Ellijay. ‘Yonder’ translates to about an hour depending on your location. Pass through a couple of cool mountain towns; Dahlonega and Cleveland, and you’re almost there. The ride is fun and the sights are often breathtaking. If you are a Blue Ridger, you’ve just got a hop and a skip south with about an hours travel time as well.

You’ll need an ultra-light spinning rod and reel with 2-4 pound test line on it. Sometimes you can find good ones on sale for about twenty dollars that are already pre-strung. The bait of choice is a Panther Martin Teardrop Spinner, Classic Regular Gold color in a size 6, 9 or 15.

The spot where we are fishing today is off highway 75 on Poplar Stump Road. The pavement runs out after one and a half miles so best not take the Ferrari on this expedition. Keep traveling until you get to the first ranger station on the right. You’ll park here and enter the trail down to the river just behind the station. A tornado touched downed a few years ago so expect to see many fallen trees. Along the trail you will have to go over and under some of them so be prepared for that. You will find the first good fishing spot about a hundred and fifty yards from where you parked. Look for calmer pools and cast into them letting the bait fall about hallway to three-quarters of the way to the bottom. Keep a steady slow retrieve for a taut line and you lessen the risk of getting hung on the bottom. I had no problems staying away from the bottom, however I did lose a lure to a low hanging tree limb, so eyes up! The water is often crystal clear here so remember once you see the fish; they have seen you as well.

We arrive at the ranger station at 8:45 AM and hike in to the entry point. Within 5 minutes Todd catches the first fish and at 9:30 we are cleaning three fish. After landing three more fishing along the banks, we crossed the river. Where we crossed in waders is about a half of a mile from where we started. You know you’re there when the river takes a huge left. Once on the other side of the river, you can fish the winding banks. This is where we limited out. Each angler may keep a limit of eight trout a day. Make sure you purchase a trout stamp for $5 from DNR. We went home with 16 keepers and were back at the ranger’s station by 12:15, just in time for a light lunch.

Now when you decide to clean your fish is up to you. I like to clean mine along the way.

It limits the stress to the fish and helps keep my kitchen neat. Find a clean place near the water. You’ll find some nice flat rocks along this river. With a sharp knife, remove the fish’s head. Then slice open the belly horizontally down to the anal fin. Next remove the intestines and stomach. You’ll also find a blood sac running the length of the spine, which you’ll want to wash out. Gently slice it open and using your finger, rinse the fish out over flowing water.

Store them in a cool place, preferably in a Ziploc bag. I like to move mine from the water to the pan as quickly as I can.

The trout we caught at the headwaters of the Chattahoochee were destined for glory as they were transformed into a delicious trout Meunière. This French recipe tastes amazing but is simple and takes a whopping fifteen minutes to prep. Full disclosure: I use butter when I cook. This recipe has three tablespoons, but the lemon and onion combination keep the flavors ultra-light, bright and not heavy. I add Vidalia onions and white wine to my version. This diverges from the traditional French recipe but adds a touch of Georgia. I love pairing this with fresh zucchini and rosemary and it’s also amazing with a biscuit to sop up that browned butter. You’ll need to remove the small bones from the meat. Once the fish is cooked it practically falls off the bone.

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When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. - NORM CROSBY

Trout Meunière Ingredients: 6 fresh trout – skinned flour for dusting 3 tablespoons butter ¼ small Vidalia onion minced (about 3 tablespoon) 2 tablespoons white wine (doesn’t matter the type) 2 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest parsley as garnish Instructions: Begin with a healthy sprinkling of salt and pepper to both sides of the fish and dust lightly with flour. In a frying man on medium heat, add 2 tablespoons of butter gently stirring until it has melted. Add the trout and fry on one side until cooked almost half way through. Flip them carefully (I use two spatulas) and fry until fish is opaque. I make the Meunière sauce in the same pan, so you’ll need to transfer the trout to a plate. Turn the heat up a touch and add the onions to the butter in the pan. Sauté until the onions are soft and light brown and add the wine. Let the sauce boil down for a few minutes. Next add the lemon juice and zest along with the final tablespoon of butter and whisk lightly. This sauce is meant to be enjoyed right away so pour that Meunière over the fresh trout, garnish with chopped parsley and bon appetite y’all!

Find me on Facebook.com/BayouBetty or cast me a line at BayouBetty1@gmail.com Bass wishes and tight lines, BB

It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? - RONALD REAGAN

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America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - ANONYMOUS

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pril 2014 - and it’s going to be a beautiful early spring morning. The air would be crisp and cool but as the slowly rising sun would promise, temperatures would quickly warm into the 70s. The eastern sky would announce the day by transitioning from a twilight haze to orange to blue as sunlight spread across the mountains. The forest would be bustling as birds, squirrels and other small creatures exited their secure nighttime dens to scavenge for food. A slight breeze would rustle the few remaining brown, crunchy leaves of winter against the soft, new spring foliage creating a wispy, scratchy whisper throughout the treetops. Spring would be sprung and the world would be a better place.

Then, around noon, I would find a big, nice comfy rock along one of the several rivers that meander their way through the Cohuttas. There, I would enjoy a PB&J. Yes, a magnificently oversized PB&J. There is simply nothing, ever, that will come close to the pure euphoria of eating PB&J packed, stacked and stuffed between two thick, sturdy slices of 100% whole grain wheat bread.

And, for the record, it has to be wheat. White bread just doesn’t have the capacity to withstand the rigors of housing healthy portions of PB&J. It’s not the size or thickness but rather an issue of durability.

Wimpy white bread simply cannot support more than a slice of American pasteurized processed cheese food dabbed with a touch of mayo. Applying grape jelly to a slice of this under-performing bread instantaneously morphs it into purplish pasty goo. Mix this purple mess with peanut butter and you’re left with Play Doh – and no one wants to sit on a rock along a river bank and eat hand scooped mashed up purple Play Doh out of a sandwich bag.

Back to my first hike of spring. To say I was excited would be an understatement. The mountains and streams would be alive, new and invigorated.

The dark, cold, wet months of winter were gone for good. Of note. I am keenly aware that I’ve used the word, “would”, more than a little bit. “Would”, by definition, is used to express desire or intent, a wish.

And, my “wish”, was that the sun would rise, temperatures would warm, birds would chirp, skies would be blue and I’d enjoy a rib sticking PB&J for lunch while sitting on a rock along a river bank. But, as it’s been proven, spring weather in Northwest Georgia can vary…wildly. The drive to the trailhead was difficult.

Strong winds from overnight had blown down limbs and branches littering the ground with debris and my 4-wheel drive truck was being put to the test by the sloppy, muddy rain soaked road. Upon reaching the

trailhead, the morning was well into what should’ve been daylight hours but the sky remained dark and ominous. The only consolation to the general sense of dread and gloominess was that, upon reaching the higher elevations, I couldn’t see the otherwise nasty, sunless sky given the blinding blanket of dense fog and clouds.

My hike was to start at the eastern most entrance of the Conasauga River Trail. The plan was to head down to the river, follow the trail there for a ways and then branch off to one of the connecting trails. At some point, of course, I was to find that comfy rock along the river, sit in the warm sun and eat my PB&J. The wind continued to howl as I shouldered my pack.

The mist that had become a light drizzle was now a steady rain. I was not certain of the exact temperature but it was in the 30’s with a wind chill likely below freezing. However, despite the blustery arctic wind pushing in from the northeast, a swirling rain and sleet mix, my hands and feet already freezing and the light grey fog becoming dark grey as more unwelcoming weather moved in, I was not to be deterred from my warm, sunny first hike of spring.

Let it be known, I am not one to give up easily – pure old fashioned stubbornness my wife calls it. But, there comes a point in time when, despite all hopes and dreams, some things are just not going to come to fruition. For me, about a mile into the hike and the rain pounding the forest floor with big, heavy sloppy drops, strong winds pushing through the valleys and temperatures falling, good sense won over stubbornness.

On this early April day, I came to the realization that spring would not be sprung as winter’s strangle hold would remain a while longer. In short, I would have to hope for another first hike of spring. Upon returning to my truck, somewhat dejected and cold to the bone, I started to pack up before heading home.

Reaching into my pack and searching for my keys, there was the PB&J. PB&Js like this just aren’t meant to return home. This sandwich is a hearty meal specifically designed and built for the purpose of being eaten in the outdoors, in the elements, while sitting on a rock.

From my truck, I stumble a few feet through the mud and muck to an outcropping of rocks near the trailhead. With rain and sleet falling, wind blowing, I sit on a rock and begin enjoying my PB&J. As I watched rain drops bead off the weather resistant 100% whole grain wheat bread, I enjoyed what I knew would be my first of many PB&Js eaten on the trail this year. I smiled, knowing that spring will eventually spring and - on some scorching hot summer day mid-July, I’ll be enjoying the shade of a large mountain laurel, bare feet soaking in a cool mountain stream while enjoying a heaping pile of PB&J smashed between two slices of hearty whole grain goodness...remembering fondly this frigid cold, wet April day.

To read all of Brian’s Misadventures just go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com and type Brian Young into the site search window.

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - ANONYMOUS

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id you ever notice that when something stupid happens or when you do something stupid, it’s usually followed by someone saying something stupid? This is usually a saying that has been passed down through the generations. I assume it had some sort of meaning back then, but today it makes no sense at all. Here are a few exam-

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ples. What in tarnation are you doing? Sounds like something my great-grandfather would have said, but what does it mean? He left there like a bat out of hell. Do they have bats in hell? What in the Sam Hill are you doing ?

Gee willikers. Holy smoke. Horse feathers.

What do they look like? You’re a Ninny, you’re a Nincompoop, you’re a Wisenheimer , you’re a Doofus. You’re a Scalawag (is that something with a tail?) That’s Poppycock (I’m not even going to go there). I heard someone say he’s sitting on his laurels. Can a women sit on her laurels? Or is that just a guy thing.

What is a laurel? I know you must have many more of these crazy sayings. Next time you end up saying one of them, just hope someone doesn’t ask you what it means. You may end up feeling stupid.

Last September, while I was sitting on my back porch enjoying the season change, thinking of how uncomplicated life can be, the phone rang. It was my son calling to tell me that I should take advantage of a free upgrade for my cell phone. I said that my old cell phone worked just fine. It rings, I answer. I talk, all is good. He pointed out that my cell phone was four years old and that every few months, there is something new. He said that now they have what is called a smart phone. He said Dad it’s time to join the 21st century. Not wanting to appear as an old person that refuses change, I said okay and went to the store and got a “smart phone”. I sat in the chair while the person explained to me all that the smart phone can do.

Two and a half hours later totally confused having most of what he told me going so far over my head that I didn’t even feel the breeze, I got up and left. I left feeling stupid but proud that I had joined the 21st century. I thought that the store should give you free liquor coupons with the purchase of a smart phone, because I had a feeling I was going to need some alcoholic beverage in the near future.

Later that day, relaxing on my back porch again, my cell phone rang. My first call on my new smart phone! I pressed and pressed the answer spot and nothing happened. I lost the call, but it went into voice mail. It was then that I realized that not only did I not know

how to answer my smart phone, I didn’t know how to retrieve my voice mail. So much for the uncomplicated life that I had, only a few hours ago. Time to use one of the liquor coupons that I didn’t get. It’s a good thing that I had someone with advanced knowledge of smart phones nearby that I could go to for help.

I went in the living room and got my nine year old Granddaughter. I told her something was wrong with my phone. I pressed the answer and it wouldn’t work. I must have gotten a defective phone. She looked at me, rolled her eyes and said that I had to swipe it not press it. Duh. I asked her if she could explain to me how the phone works as if she was talking to a five year old. She said Grandpa a five year old knows how a smart phone works.

Great. Now I have a smart phone and a smart ass for a Granddaughter. Then she said later I’ll tell you about twitter and tweet. I said who’s that? I thought she was talking about a new rock ’n roll band. I said are they anything like the Beatles? She said who’s that?

Next year when my free upgrade is available, I’m going back to the store and ask them for a downgrade. I want a dumb phone that just rings, I push a button, I talk and all is good. I should warn you that they now have smart TV’s too. Stay far away from that.

One thing you don’t need is a TV telling you that you made the wrong choice in the program you want to watch. What I need is a “smart toaster”. One that doesn’t have a dial that will make your toast black and burnt.

Why do they have that setting on a toaster in the first place? Is that a choice someone wants to make. I never heard someone tell a waitress in a restaurant “could you make my toast burnt please?”

One last thing, my new van has a navigation system. That’s one smart system I’ll tell ya. How that works is truly amazing. My navigation system has a woman telling me where to go. Just what I needed another woman telling me where to go. On the drive up here from Florida, with my wife and her female cat and my navigation system, I put in the address and was driving along and all was good.

I was busy talking and must have missed a turn. My wife told me to “turn around you missed the turn” and at the same time the navigation system said “make a u turn as soon as possible” and then the cat started to “meow.” Just what I needed three females all talking at the same time, telling me what to do. It makes a ten hour drive seem like a long weekend. Should have gotten drink coupons with the navigation system too.

Damn the luck.

To read all of Jack’s Random Thoughts just go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com and type Jack Bellinato into the site search window.

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house. - ROD STEWART

Have You Seen Me?

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it. - BOB HOPE

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hia and I went to the Serenity Garden Cafe in beautiful downtown Blue Ridge and had a wonderful meal. We’ve been married for more than 30 years now so there’s not a lot to talk about anymore, so it’s a real good thing The Serenity Garden Cafe is decorated nicely with an eclectic collection of art & collectibles to look at. (just kidding honey!!!!) I’ll let Thia tell you all about it…..

From the moment I walked in I noticed the difference between Serenity Gardens Cafe and lots of other restaurants. There was an attention to detail, a welcoming warmth, a cozy but beautifully decorated atmosphere, and it was spotlessly clean! The owner, Warren loves taking good care of his customers and it shows. It feels like you have been invited to someone’s elegant home for dinner.

For an appetizer, we had onion breaded green beans, it was an original and delicious! We also had mozzarella sticks which we love.

Then came the salad, which had the freshest chunks of tomatoes, and was topped with strawberries, that’s what I mean about attention to detail. You can tell that the food is prepared carefully, thoughtfully and with love. And then served with perfection. Our waitress overheard that Robb hates mushrooms and made sure there was none in his food, without him even having to remember to ask. (see how there are no mushrooms in his green beans?)

Now THAT is service!

I’d had country fried steak at several restaurants and really liked it, but now I had the REAL DEAL and got to taste what Country Fried Steak is supposed to taste like when it is homemade from scratch from a big piece of beef, and it was amazing! Plus one of my favorite foods of all time is real mashed potatoes, and that’s what I picked to come with my steak. And of course I had them pour hot tasty gravy all over both. This was downhome cooking at it’s best.

Robb back.... My smothered chicken (hold the mushrooms and

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green peppers which I’m not a fan of and so they are missing from the photo. The actual “Smothered Chicken” would have been more photogenic, but hey, I had to eat it!

That said, it was so delicious, the chicken was incredibly moist, cheese and onions MMMMMmmmm! Great green beans (without mushrooms) and big baked potato. Speaking of big, you get a lot of food, big servings, I definitely did not leave hungry.

Serenity Gardens is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. For dinner there’s something for everyone.

Steaks, seafood, chicken, pasta, salads.

The lunch roster looks great “I’ll be baaaaack”! Grilled chicken Philly Cheesesteak? I’m on it! Veggie Burger? Not so much for me but Thia and her veggie-tarian friends would love that. There’s many delicious sandwichs and homemade soup.

For breakfast yummy french toast, and other specialties. You can also sit outside and people watch the shoppers of Downtown Blue Ridge, while enjoying a meal or just a nice glass of wine or a beer.

They also have a second location in McCaysville, something to keep in mind if you are riding the Blue Ridge Scenic Railway and are hungry during the stop there. You can dine right on the river! They are open everyday but Wednesday, 8am to 9pm and they have live entertainment on weekends.

Whatever you choose to eat, whenever you decide to visit, you can relax in a beautiful, calm, friendly atmosphere and have a great meal.

We came, we tried, we liked, we’ll be back! 2 Forks Up! Serenity Garden Cafe Blue Ridge (706) 258-4949 657 E Main St, Blue Ridge, GA 30513 Serenity Garden Cafe McCaysville (706)964-4949 100 Bridge Street McCaysville, GA 30555 To view their menu go to: www.thebestofebrj.com/serenitygarden-cafe

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - BEN BERGOR

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - WENDY LIEBMAN

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he inaugural Apple Blossom Festival kicked off to a great start at 9 am on May 3rd. By the time it ended on May 4th at 5pm, hundreds of happy visitors had made their way through. Booths were filled with beautiful craft items, yummy food and snacks, and local businesses showing their wares.

We had so many people try to “Crack the Safe”, I was getting excited that someone was going to get it open! And we did have a few people ask us about a clue they had found in the last issue of the paper. (hint

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hint) But no one yet has won the prize. We also gave out a several hundred issues of our paper, and were so happy to hear the many sweet comments of our readers. We really do appreciate you telling us that you LOVE our paper. It doesn’t get old hearing that over and over. ;) Robb ate his favorite Wright Brothers Roasted Corn. I got some mini donuts, visited with Albert (Albert’s Boiled Peanuts), got a flower balloon made by the amazing NancyFangles, and checked out all the booths.

We had a beautiful day, a good sized crowd and pets were welcome. It was really nice that there was free and close by parking. Truthfully, this was a wonderful weekend, and we’ll be back next year.

Congratulations go out to the Gilmer County Chamber of Commerce for launching this great new spring time event that will no doubt grow over the years to come and take its place as a part of our local culture.

Fun, Food, Friends and local Arts and Crafts was what it was all about!

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. - ANONYMOUS

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

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Story by Thia • Photos by Robb

e had an exciting weekend visiting Noontootla Creek Farms. We, being, me (Thia), Robb & my Dad, Griz. We were lucky enough to be shown around by Rob Kaser, the guy in charge. All of us laughed a lot, while we drove around on the golf cart and did some shooting. Rob Kaser (RK) told us all about the place and spent a lot of time teaching ME how to shoot a gun.

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Thia: This is a beautiful place. Who owns it?

RK: Noontootla Creek Farms has been owned by the Owenby family since the 50’s. It is now 1500 acres. They have roughly 2, 2 and a half miles of Noontootla Creek flowing through the middle of it.

We are not sure what Noontootla means, we have been told that it stands for beautiful waters. There is a lot of history on this land, from native americans, to pioneers, to gold miners and moonshiners.

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We have two busted up stills we have found up on the mountain.

Thia: That’s cool. What is there to do here?

RK: We do guided fly fishing regularly through here. We do hunting for quail and pheasant. And we have the shooting clays course. We are adding a 3D archery range as well, where you can shoot targets that look like a deer, a bobcat… That will be a lot of fun. We also have the Granddad Lodge where we can host corporate events, team events, fund raisers. We do a lot of fundraising on the skeet shooting range. Just like you have a golf tournament you can have a skeet tournament.

Thia: And today we are here to skeet shoot.

RK: Yes. Mr. Owenby started this sporting clay course around 2005. There are twelve stations.

You can do 100 shots. There is also a five stand where you shoot at 25 presentations and see how good you do.

Thia: Well, sounds a little complicated. I think we forgot to tell you something. I don’t know how to even hold the shotgun. My Dad bought it for me for Christmas, for protection against burglars and wild animals. But I really do want to learn how to load it and shoot it, for practice in case I ever needed to shoot it for real. Am I asking too much?

RK: Naw. We’ll figure it out and have fun at the same time!

So not only did RK have to show me how to shoot skeet, he had to show me how to load and shoot my shot gun. But my Dad helped too. Griz knows what he was doing, because he’s been hunting for years, and that was after he trained at the rifle range in the Coast Guard. I’m wondering if there is a term for someone who is not even at beginner level? Because that would be me. Now my Robb has shot a 38 quite a bit, so he has some experience.

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there. George Burns

And then my dad, has experience with all types of guns and is a good shot. So Also during a trip to Noontoot RK, while not a professional instructor (he says), certainly knows his stuff fessional fishermen! Noontoot la Creek Farms, we got to watch some proaround the skeet track. And has a lot of patience, which was very necessary ery that is privately owned la Creek Farms is a high quality trout fishtoday! RK was driving us around on the golf cart to show us the scenery, and they had the PFA Tour Rookibut open to the public. While we were there, it would be our method of transportation from one skeet stand to the next. technical fly fishing that thi e Camp going on. It is some of the more Here we are at the first station, and about to do our first try. didn’t fish today, but he cans part of the United States has to offer. Griz ’t wait to jump in and catch Thia: So how does it work? some!

Rk : Fan nin Co un RK: We show you each of the two skeets first, so you can see where they are ty is the trout capital of Georg ia.

Tod ay competitive fly fishing event. we are doing a going. That’s called a viewing pair. So you need to anticipate where it’s twenty minutes per beat, and These guys are all professionals. They get going, not where it’s coming from. So don’t follow it, you’ll never catch it. they are fishing. It’s like a rou there are six beats on this part of the creek Lead it. These simulate a bird pattern. That’s why they are called clay picatch as many fish as possible nd of golf with six holes. They have to geons. There are three components, the shooter, the puller and the scorer. by what you catch. There are in that time and you get points awarded The shooter gets in the box ready, and says “Pull”. The puller, pulls and the than sixteen inches you sho referees that keep your points. If it’s less skeet comes out.

Robb: Sixteen inches is a dew it to the ref and throw it back.

Robb: But the puller actually pushes! (It is a push button to make the skeet RK: We have giants in here. cent sized fish! fly) So when the shooter yells pull, he pushes. So why is it called Pull?

On our demo we caught a twe nty-four inch RK: When I was growing up you used to have to pull a string and it released rainbow trout.

Robb: Do they frisk you when the arm that shot the skeet. So now it’s an electronic button that you push. you come in to make sure you don’t have a

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about. - Evan Esar

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So we all took a shot and missed, but RK is a really good teacher and as we visit each station, I actually gain confidence. Robb is getting the hang of it. My Dad actually is hitting a few now. Me? Nope. Of course I’m being made fun of too! They are telling me I’m not following the target. They say I stand and hold the gun and then just shoot where I think it will be.

Robb: Thia, you have to come close to hitting it, it’s not a heat seeking skeet!

RK: You want to learn for protection, but a burglar is not going to jump in front of your bullet.

Actually they were all laughing as they teased me, and it got so funny I had to walk away to get rid of the giggles. My Dad didn’t tease though. He was teaching me, and HE loves me, whether I can hit the darn skeet thing or not!

RK: It takes practice. Some people come out here every week. Sometimes the wobble trap is an easier place for beginners to start. But I want you guys to get a feel for everything on the course so you can experience it. That is why are did some of the course.

Thia: So the Wobble trap is like a driving range in golf. You could actually come here with your family for a afternoon of fun shooting doing the wobble trap. And that’s where you stay in one place and the skeets come out and you shoot at them.

RK: Yes. Beginners can try it out doing the wobble trap, or doing a short course with twenty five shots.

We have kept track along the way, scoring one point for a hit, we probably took about ten shots each. Final score? Robb, 0,but close many times. Thia 0, but not even in the ball park, Griz 5. It was really fun, even if I didn’t hit anything. The views are breathtaking, and we laughed so hard. At the end RK put a can on a stump, handed me the gun, and said try to hit that. I loaded the gun (like RK taught me today), got in my shooting stance, (that RK taught me today), looked through and lined up the sites, (like my Daddy told me too), and fired. I HIT THE DARN CAN! With a clean shot too! So now not only did a have a blast shooting today, I actually HIT something!

Whether you are an experienced or inexperienced shooter, skeet shooting at Noontoola Creek Farms is really fun for all levels. I already can’t wait to go back. I really thought it must be expensive to do, but it’s not. You get the golf cart and do the course, which means shooting a hundred rounds at the skeets for around $ 40 ( you bring your own gun & ammo) And if you want to do the twenty five rounds one, or the wobble trap it’s less.

For more info go to http://ncfga.net

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couple big fish under your jacket?

RK: That would be pretty hard to do since they have to be alive and hooked in the gill plate, and then swim away freely. (Whistle blows) See that means someone just got a penalty.

Robb: That was the guy with the fish taped to his leg!

RK: (Laughs) Probably so!

We’ve got people from all over the nation, and Canada here today. This is the training part of the competition where they are working out all the bugs and we’ve got film crews out here. Ultimately this is going to be a televised event. Like the PGA for golf, it’s the PFA for fishing.

Robb: How did this get started? Do you win a prize?

RK: The founder of this is Anthony Noronha. He was the team captain for ten years for Team USA, fly fishing . They will be competing for a purse.

Robb: Im not a fisherman so I’ll just ask you to tell our readers about fly fishing here.

RK: Fly fishing at Noontootla Creek Farms is a small stream fly fishing experience unique to the North Georgia Mountains. Noontootla Creek normally runs gin clear and takes anywhere from 1/2 day to 1 1/2 days to clear after a rain event. This can be a fly fishing trip life saver if other waters in the state are “blown-out”!

There are two miles of wadeable water consisting of four separate sections, about a half mile each, which have both trophy and stream-bred Browns and Rainbows.

We’re talking classic North Georgia trout water on beautiful Noontootla Creek. It doesn’t get much better than this. NCF water is easily wadeable by anyone. You won’t get bored on this water as it can, at times, be challenging. But the rewards are big as well.

Robb: Sounds like fun to me.

We’ll have to come back and bring Griz to go fishing!

706-838-0585 3668 Newport Road Blue Ridge GA.30513

Misers aren’t fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors. - David Brenner

Who’s Playing Where? What’s Going On? What Do You Want To Do? - www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/calendar

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olf Creek Canyon (WCC) likes to smoke and it shows! If you are in love with that deep smoky, spicy rubbed taste, you’ll find it here. They barbecue ribs, wings, chicken, brisket and pulled pork done in the traditional way. My favorite of these is the beef brisket, tender, tasty and yummy dunked in one of the several choices of barbecue sauce. They often have smoked whole chickens you can pick up and bring home for dinner, for less than six bucks!

Robb and I eat here often, for several reasons, one is the great food of course, but also because it has a warm neighborhood feel, where everyone talks to everyone else, and the staff and regulars all get to know you. Hi Gary! Hi Patti! Hi Christina! (I can’t list them all or I won’t have room for the story!)

Plus WCC often has live music, and the perfect set-up for it. There is a stage and a music dining room near the stage, so you can get up close and really experience the music and dance your heart out, or you can sit in the bar or the bar side dining room, where you can enjoy the music, but also a conversation. In other words, the music is a great addition, for dining and dancing and drinking, but it’s not so loud that you can’t talk to your friends.

There is a full liquor bar where you can sit and have some cocktails served by the very friendly bartenders. They have Happy Hour at the bar, all day everyday which includes house drafts for 1.25 and $3. for six wings. You can eat dinner at the bar, which Robb and I do often, even though we drink water & Diet Coke. There are also tables in the main dining room with the bar. During the day, this is where you can eat a yummy lunch. WCC is currently working on an outdoor deck, so you can soon enjoy the great food and the weather.

If you want to get together with a bunch of friends, the staff at WCC will even put together a big table and make you a reservation for a large party.

Everyone that stops in for dinner, gets a free delicious appetizer that consists of a smoked wing and a fried corn bread. That will whet your appetite for more smokey food!

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You might want to order some of the great WCC appetizers if you just want a snack. Many of these, my veggie-tarian friends can eat, like a fresh dinner salad, fried corn nuggets, onion rings, mac and cheese bites, sweet potato fries, fried pickles, collard greens, pinto beans, fried cornbread, fried okra, cheese sticks, coleslaw, green beans and more…

I’ve tried so many things at WCC, and every one of them is very good, but I gotta say my favorite of all is a sandwich that I sorta made up on my own.

It is a cross between a French Dip and a Philly Cheese steak. It is a hot beef au jus on a toasted roll with grilled onions & peppers. It is so delicious, I can honestly say it is my favorite sandwich! And then you add in either yummy fries ( that have the best seasoning on them), or fresh made breaded and fried zucchini, and you have a hot, filling, tasty meal for lunch or dinner. I’m writing this at 2 a.m., and I wish I had one of those sandwiches right now!

There are home made specials everyday, including meatloaf, fried chicken, country fried steak and real mashed potatoes. You might want to try a brisket Ruben with a side of the potato salad. It is a delicious combination. (Great potato salad that has bacon in it!)

Robb got the hamburger steak this last time. It’s so big you can see that it takes up half the plate! And it is well seasoned and cooked perfectly, along with his baked potato and coleslaw, it was a huge amount of food. So much so, that Robb even let me have a few bites. (And he is very protective of his food!!) Anything you order at WCC is gonna be good, I know that from experience. We love the food, the company and the music. It’s a great place to eat, have fun and dance or just hang out for a few drinks and relax. Great food at great prices,made and served by great people. Two Forks up!

(706) 276-7755 941 Maddox Dr. STE 206 East Ellijay, Georgia 30540 (Right behind McDonald’s in the same plaza as the Towne Cinema Movie Theater)

To read all of our “2 Forks Up” Restaurant Reviews just go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/restaurant-reviews/

Dear business person... you are reading this, shouldn’t you be advertising here? www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/advertise

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elcome back. I hope you enjoyed part one of my story; where I told you about how I got to experience farm live as a child and teen. Let’s see, where did we leave off? Oh yeah, I was about to tell you about my first farm job. Well, when I was 18, I got a summer job working at a local horse ranch. Since I absolutely LOVED horses, this was like a dream job for me.

Being offered this job had me more excited than birthdays, Christmas, 4th of July, ...heck, all the holidays put together! My duties here included feeding the chickens and gathering the eggs, preparing and feeding the bull calf his morning bottles, feeding and watering the horses, cleaning stalls, putting horses in stalls, turning horses out to pasture, and finding, catching, and saddling horses for trail rides. This is also when I got the chance to purchase my first horse. This also got me to thinking what it would be like to have a farm to live on, instead of roughing it in the woods like I dreamed of as a child.

Working on that farm was some of the hardest physical labor that I had ever done in my life and believe you me, I was so sore I could barely move for three days! But it was all worth it to be around the horses and to be able to saddle my horse up and go for a long leisurely trail ride through the woods and creeks with only my thoughts, my horse, and nature to keep me company. Riding my horse was great therapy for me on many a day.

During the time that I was working at the horse ranch, I once happened upon a nest of duck eggs next to the pond. I thought the nest was abandoned because I didn’t see any ducks anywhere near the nest. I didn’t

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find out till much later on that just because there are eggs in a nest with no duck on them, doesn’t mean that there isn’t a duck nearby with full intentions of sitting on them.

Anyway, I think it was like 3 eggs, memory is a little faded by now, but I took those eggs home, grabbed a 10 gallon fish tank, laid a rag in the bottom, put a desk lamp in there and proceeded to try and hatch some babies. Now remember, this was back before the internet so I had no idea what I was doing. I had no books on the subject and no internet to research it on, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I figured they needed to be kept warm, hence the reason the duck, or chicken, sits on the eggs, but how I knew to turn the eggs and spritz water in the tank is beyond me. When I grew up and finally bought my first styrofoam incubator and read the instructions on how to hatch eggs and saw how much work an egg needed to hatch, I thought back to my duck eggs and couldn’t believe any of them even hatched.

You have to have steady heat at a precise temperature till the right time, a certain percent of humidity, and you have to turn the eggs. When the eggs are close to hatching, the temperature and humidity requirements change and you stop turning the eggs. It all looked so complicated when I read about it, that I wondered how wild animals ever figured it out! One of my duck eggs did hatch though, and it was the cutest little thing and followed me EVERYWHERE with it’s adorable peeping. Hatching that little baby duck just further cemented my desire for having my own farm one day.

In my late 20’s, I met a man that had grown up ‘roughing it’ and had all kinds of experience with raising and butchering animals, and his dad always had a big garden.

Needless to say, we ended up getting married and I moved onto his property in Tennessee that he and his family all lived on. His brother and dad were more into living off the land than my husband was and I loved always being able to be around to help them with whatever projects they were planning at the time. It was always so exciting to wake up and know there was something to do, whether it was tilling the garden, planting and tending to plants, or helping to build the pig pen and chicken coop. During this time is when I bought my first ever rabbits. We bought 3 beautiful red New Zealands; a buck and two does. No one prepared me for what to expect when breedings rabbits. All I knew was that you always take the doe to the buck’s cage because the does are territorial. So, when we took our doe to the bucks cage and ‘introduced’ them, he did his duty and screeched and fell over! Talk about scared! My husband and I looked at each other and I said, “Oh my God! What did we do wrong and what do we do now?” But then, the buck just gets up and starts hopping around the cage. We just looked at each other and then busted out laughing. We thought we’d sent that rabbit to certain death. We later found out that what happened is completely natural.

I’ve now been raising rabbits since 2002 on my farm named About Thyme, and I’ve never since had a buck that made such a noise doing his thing! I'll tell you more about raising rabbits in my next column.

Missed Part 1 in the last issue? Go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com and site search for EVA CARTIN

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

“Where should we got for dinner?” - Read all of our Restaurant Reviews at www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/restaurant-reviews 25

Thia Says, “This is the stuff that Jerry puts on his FaceBook page, and it cracks me up!”

I hear someone screaming in my basement. That's the last time I buy duct tape from the dollar store..

I’m not saying Rover is lazy, but instead of chasing cars, he just sits in the yard taking down license numbers.

Someone asked me yesterday, why would I carry a gun? i told them because a cop was too dang heavy.

Well I finally got enough money to get my bologna off of lay-away at the dollar store.

This is going to be a good day..

Did you hear about the frustrated cannibal ?

He just threw up his hands.

A woman was standing in front of a mirror looking at herself in her new dress. She told her husband, I need a compliment. I think I look fat in this dress. He said, “your eyesight is dang near perfect!”

I didn't say I was Batman. I said you never see me and Batman in the same room.

They say a good friend is worth a million dollars, so if you don't mind, can I sell you?

Been exercising all day. Done a lot of diddley squats.

I heard that there was a fire at the trick candle warehouse last week, they said it burned down 26 times.

I made my favorite chicken salad for lunch. Little devil didn't eat any of it.

There was a big paddle sale going on at the boat store today. It was quite an oar deal!

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What's the difference between a skydiver and a golfer? A golfer goes "(whack), oh crap!". A skydiver goes "Oh crap, (whack)"

They thought I was crazy at the AT&T store. I got my dog a cell phone. I heard they had rollover minutes.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

I

've always loved an adventure. Eight years ago, my friend Ernie, suggested I watch American Idol. I had heard it talked about for years, but I had never watched it. That night, however, as I was flipping thought the channels, it just happened to be on. I thought I would watch a few minutes of it since there was nothing else on. That simple decision turned out to be the one that changed my life completely and sent me on an adventure I would have never dreamed possible!

I watched for a few minutes, then I saw a guy that looked so out of place. He had gray hair and looked nervous and scared, nothing like the other contestants.

Up until then, the show had been dull, but now I was anxious to see if this guy could sing. After the break, it was time to find out. When asked why he was there, he told Simon he wanted his voice heard. As soon as he started singing "A Change Is Gonna Come", it was obvious why! Randy and Paula were impressed. Simon knew he could sing, but sat there chewing on his pen. Luckily for Taylor, two votes were all he needed to move on to the Hollywood round and he had them! I had found a favorite to root for. Taylor was an amazing singer, but more than anything, he was a regular guy. He reminded me so much of myself. That night, I decided I would follow his progress. That's when everything started to change.

As the season went on, Taylor started referring to his fans as the “Soul Patrol.” At the time, I was a heavy equipment operator in Florida. I would hear the DJ's talking about this Soul Patrol group everyday, so I was curious. I had always said I would never get a computer. I had always considered them a waste of time. Taylor changed that. As the end of the season approached, I decided to buy a computer and check out all the fan sites I had been hearing about. I was shy at first. I registered on fan boards, but hardly ever posted. During the finale week I was a nervous wreck. By then I was in Taylor's corner 100%. On that last night, I voted hundreds of times. Unlike a lot of his fans, I never thought he would win. When it came down to the results I was shaking like a leaf. I had never wanted anybody to win anything so

bad in my life. Ryan Seacrest dragged out the suspense for what seemed like forever! The winner... of American Idol, season five, is……….Taylor Hicks! I couldn't believe it. I just sat there and cried. Nobody could have deserved to win any more than Taylor and nobody would have appreciated it more.

I had just been to a few concerts before I started following Taylor. I decided I was going to see him when the American Idol tour came to Tampa. To keep my mom from having a nervous breakdown about me traveling alone, I asked a friend from work to go with me. I hadn't been able to get very good seats since I had waited so long to decide I was going. It didn't matter though. During that first concert, even from the nosebleed seats, I knew I would be going to more Taylor Hicks concerts. I was hooked!

Next, Taylor went on a nationwide tour. I'll never forget calling my mom and telling her I was going to Tampa to see him. Her response was "I can't believe you're going all the way to Tampa by yourself to a concert and you a woman!" After eight years, I can now tell mom I'm going anywhere and she won't be surprised at all. One of the things that eased her fears of me being found in a ditch, were all of the people I've met through the years. Had it not have been for Taylor, I would never

have known most of these people.

I was never one to walk into a crowd of people and introduce myself, but like so many things, that was changing. I felt a bond with these people I was meeting. We had a common interest. As time went on, I started a Facebook account. That made it easier to keep up with everybody.

The first time I took my family to see Taylor was in Knoxville Tennesee. They had heard so much about him, they were anxious to see his show. My daughter, Emily, was just 3 at the time. I wasn't sure how she would like it. I found out the next morning when my dad asked her how she liked the show. She told him, "Pap, Taylor is a very special man." My mom and granny loved it too. That was good, because I would be dragging them along for many more concerts!

It was during Taylor's second tour that I started traveling farther and farther to see him. What had held me back was that I'd never flown. I had always swore I'd never step foot on a plane, well, it happened. My friend, Betsy, asked me to go with her to Spartanburg SC. I finally gave in and booked the flight. We flew from Tampa into Charlotte NC, where we rented a car and drove on to Spartanburg. By that time, I had already been on the front row to see Taylor at Universal Studios. After that, I had no desire to stare at the back of anybody's head if I could help it.

The Spartanburg show was general admission, which meant standing in line all day to ensure a spot on the front row. There was a group of us in line at 9:00 am. We stood there in 100 degree heat all day with no shade. It was all worth it when they opened the gates and we got our desired place on the front row. Looking back, I have no idea how many hundreds of hours I've spent standing in line for one of Taylor’s shows. Even if I have an assigned seat, I will often stand in line because that's where I've met some of my best friends. One of my favorite things now, is meeting people who have never seen Taylor before, then finding them after the show, because now they are hooked! I always try to look them up on facebook so we can stay in touch and see each other at another of Taylor’s concerts. After you have been to one, you will want to come to more! I have a lot to tell you about my Taylor Hicks adventures. At this point, they hadn't even got started yet!

Who’s Playing Where? What’s Going On? What Do You Want To Do? - www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/calendar

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I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to cover me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

On the other hand.............. you have different fingers.

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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.

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T

Best Scoring Team!

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hia here. It’s a beautiful sunny day, close to 80 degrees with a slight breeze. Just perfect for the dry run of our soon to be famous “The Best of Ellijay, Blue Ridge & Jasper, Not Professional (at all) Miniature Golf Association Tournament”! That’s the TBOEBRJNPMGA Tournament for short. (well not short enough!)

We had a lot of fun in Blue Ridge at the Cohutta Cove Mini Golf Course with some of our staff and friends. We had hole-in-ones by Destiny, Mikayla, Papa, Jackie, Reed and Allison!

Allison also gets the prize for her 13 shots on one hole, I guess we’ll call that the Hole-in-13 Award!

Overall I can’t say for sure that we had a winner with the best (which is the lowest) score, because all of us didn’t keep track as well as we should have, there was too much kidding and goofing around going on. But I’m going to award the prize for best team score to Jackie & Reed, because of all the staff and friends, they went first, seemed to know what they were doing and ended up with really good scores. ( and I can’t say that about all of the other teams, some people just can’t add!)

But whether you can add or not, keep

score or not, doesn’t matter all that much. The playing and missing and hitting the ball into the water, and laughing and joking around was all so much fun! After we had all finished 18 holes, we did a little raffle and gave out some prizes. Everybody had a wonderful time.

So this trial run was a big success. Someone just might win that huge custom built trophy in the future, but we are still figuring out all the details. ( Thanks Smitty!)

Brian Briggs is the owner of the course, and he and his family were a blast to hang out with. They even played some golf with us!

They do know all the rules and how to keep score and they will answer any questions you have. They also let you pick from the coolest golf balls to play with!

We will get to planning our FIRST ANNUAL TBOEBRJNPMGA Tournament, and let you all know when it’s going to be. But you don’t have to wait for us. Go over and play some mini golf at Cohutta Cove and tell Brian and his family HI for us!

Thanks for playing! Eva, Zac, Papa, Mikayla, Destiny, Stephen, Allison, Emily, Jackie, Reed, Brian, Patty, Jayme, Timothy, Mckinzye, and Eathan.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Hole in 13!!!!

“Where should we got for dinner?” - Read all of our Restaurant Reviews at www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/restaurant-reviews 33

Are you the one that’s going to win the $2500+ in cash and prizes?

Have you tried to Crack the Safe yet?

Hundreds of people have so far. We’ve had Safe Parties at Johnny’s Pizza, Rocco’s Pub, The Pourhouse & The Apple Blossom Festival. At each party we give away cool raffle prizes, from toys and dolls to baseball caps and gift certificates! Everyone has a blast and people line up to take their shot at guessing the combination to the safe. Then you spin that dial and hope it opens. So far no one has gotten it right. But now that we are giving out clues, it’s going to happen!

As you can see, when we took the pic-

ture of the safe for the cover of the last issue, we had the dial on one of the numbers of the combination! We have had a few people ask us about this, but you all have to pay attention! The number 75 is an important number! There is another clue in this edition. So take a close look and you will find it! Then you will have two numbers of the four number combination!

My not so great math skills tell me that your odds of guessing a 4 digit combination are about 1 in 100,000,000. But if you know one number, it drops to 1 in a million, and knowing 2 numbers means you have a 1 in 10,000 shot!

Write the numbers down and come to our next safe parties to try your luck!

Don’t let time run out before you give it a whirl. Someone is going to win all that stuff soon. It could be YOU! Our schedule of Safe Parties is on the next page. All the rules and other info about this contest are on our website at TheBestofEBRJ.com/safe

34 THIS IS IMPORTANT! Remember... that’s www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/SAFE for more pics & all the news about “THE SAFE”

Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?

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“Clem”, “The Carters Lake-ness Monster” ©2014 The Best Of Ellijay, Blue

“Clem-mania” is breaking out in “EBRJ” (Ellijay, Blue Ridge & Jasper)! Sightings of a lake creature in Carters Lake are flooding in.

The creature has now been nicknamed “Clem.” The UnReal News TipLine has been ringing off the hook and our operator has been taking reports from fishermen, watercraft aficionados, scuba divers, hikers and even a helicopter pilot about a strange creature lurking in the lake. This is no mythical monster and we’ve got the pix to prove it!

As we all know there are monsters in lakes all over the world. ( See: List of reported lake monsters on Wikipedia) A few, like Loch Ness “Nessie” or Lake Champlain’s “Champ” have achieved world fame.

Nessie was most recently photographed by Apple Maps . “The Mirror” is reporting that …”two different Apple users captured screenshots of something large under the Loch’s surface using Apple Maps on their iPhones and iPads, and as far as images of supposed living dinosaurs go, they’re fairly compelling.” (See: News Item: Nessie Lives! Loch Ness “Monster” Pictures A Special Report By Martin Tomelson

Taken By Apple Maps ) Reports of strange creatures are not limited to lakes, the Animal Planet show “River Monsters” has for several seasons gone in search of all sorts of reported creatures…. and found many! Who really knows what lurks beneath the surface of the world’s waters?

But Clem is very different. This is the first time that one of these creatures has shown up in a man-made lake. We contacted Dr. Irwin Spratz of the of the University of Belgium, geological fracture dept., one of the world’s leading scientists regarding this planet’s “crustology”, and he explained “Prior to the flooding of the area which now comprises Carters Lake, there existed an enormous network of caves, subterranean caverns, fractures, faults and other crustological imperfections.

These formed a veritable highway-in-waiting for any water creatures in any other lakes around the world. As soon as the area was flooded it too became a reachable destination for many migrating lake creatures. While it is highly unlikely that a full grown creature of the type you propose would be able to make the trip, it is not inconceivable that a hatchling or newborn could make its way through the many smaller and partially blocked

points along the route. Allow me to add that it wouldn’t surprise me if you started hearing reports from Lake Blue Ridge visitors as well considering the similarity of situations.”

As with the many other lake monsters around the globe one can only surmise what the creature may actually be and theories abound. Many attribute the sightings to a long roster of animals or natural phenomena resulting in misidentified sightings of seals, otters, deer, diving water birds, large fish such as giant sturgeons or the huge Wels catfish. Others posit logs, mirages, seiches, light distortion, crossing boat wakes, or unusual wave patterns. The most popular explanation for these creatures seems to be something out of science fiction, that is, that Clem, Nessie and the others are actually some form of still living dinosaurs such as a Plesiosaur, a huge, long-necked water creature with fins and a tail. Search “Plesiosaur Sightings” for the many reports and photos and artist renderings.

Dr. Helmut Koonderhagen of the Center for Triassic Studies at the University of Bonn in Bonn Germany responded by email to this reporter’s inquiry noting: “I heartily disagree with my colleagues that support the

e Ridge & Jasper

Plesiosaur theory. I would have to say that in my opinion it is far more likely that these sightings would be of the substantially smaller Nothosaur rather than Plesiosaur. Plesiosaurs would have been far larger and far less likely to have survived The Permian–Triassic extinction event that killed off the dinosaurs, commonly known as the “Great Dying” which occurred about 252 million years ago. The Nothosaur is an exponentially superior candidate for surviving through that event and beyond to the present day albeit in very limited numbers.”

Here at home we spoke with Denise Kiely owner of Carters Lake Marina hoping to connect with more Clem-Spotters however she seemed unaware “I know there are tales of fish as big as Volkswagens in there (see photo above of Denise) but I haven’t heard anything about any monster. But if anyone wants to check it out for themselves and explore the lake, our pontoon boats for rent would be a great way to do it.”

This reporter was told by an unnamed source that he heard from another unnamed source that people from universities and government agencies all over the world are bringing boats loaded with all kinds of

equipment to Carters Lake to search for Clem. We were sent a picture of a mini submarine. We are keeping track of all the Clem sightings that are reported to us so we can print out a Clem tour map of the lake.

This reporter was also contacted by a scuba diver that claims to have seen something unexplainable at a depth of 60 feet… (Name Withheld) “All I can say is I saw it… it was a huge tail… if that was a log I can’t think of any reason it would speed away like that leaving me in a cloud of mud. That was the oddest thing I’ve ever seen underwater and there’s no way I imagined that!”

“Keith The Critter Catcher” featured in this issue is also among those that claim to have come in contact with Clem, “I was on my boat doing some fishing. I was trying out my new rod, a real beauty. I felt a tug and then another huge tug that lifted me out of my seat, across the boat and almost over the rail! I wasn’t in danger I’m sure, I wasn’t fighting for my life or anything like that but I WAS fighting for my new rod!

Whatever this was, was tiring me out. It was pulling with tremendous force. Then I saw it, a huge eyeball broke through the surface and looked right at me, I

was stunned and then all of a sudden a huge jerk on the line that took the rod right out of my hands! It skimmed the water off into the distance and then went straight under, gone! I’m going back to find out what that eyeball belonged to.”

Clem is bringing a lot of excitement to Carters Lake. Melody Ferguson, visiting the area with her family from Alberta, Canada, showed this reporter a photograph she unwittingly took of the creature. “I was out on the lake with my family, on a boat of course, and I snapped a picture just like I had many times before, but this time when I pulled it up to see, I noticed there was this, this, creature, in the background that I hadn’t noticed while taking the picture.”

A little girl named Becky sent us a drawing she did of Clem, it’s adorable! No doubt there will be “I Spotted Clem!” T-shirts and bumper stickers out soon just like all the other locations with lake monsters. These monsters are big and they are big business. “Nessie” generates millions in tourist dollars and memorabilia sales each year. There are even professional “Nessie” hunters. Whether “Clem” will attain this level of fame and fortune remains to be seen. (Continued)

It's the deepest in the state.

Marilyn: I wonder what it is, maybe a gator.

Norma: I wouldn’t doubt it one bit.

There's no tellin’ what kind of creatures is living in there.

John: Cuz that's not photoshopped...

Lola: Now there will be 50 rednecks in carters lake with shot guns lol Mandy: This can't be real can it???

Ann: Love it! What a hoot.

Jean: Maybe loch Ness moved down here. Lol!! Joking Tim: Looks like Big Foot just completed a swan dive.

Keith: It does exist Chris: First off..that's a terrible photo shop. I thought I heard something one time I was fishing with my buddy.

Turned out he ate refried beans at Viva Mexico the night before.. Man oh Man was he rotten. I wanted to throw his butt out of the boat.

Nicholas: time to go fishin’!

Crystal: I just had to share this.

Thought it was hilarious.

Chris: The El Chupacabra mated with the Lock Ness monster and made the Carters Lakecabra...

Sherry: If you zoom in it looks like an elephant lol Will: I wanna go catch that!

Ruby: It don't look real to me. I think somebody's just trying to start an urban legend. LOL!

Ed: Thats the Talking Rock reptile!

Donna: I heard there were sharks in there.

Ashley: This is just too weird for me!

Maria: I would love to use it to pull a boat. Zero fear here in this girl Lorrie: I'm going to catch him some day! I wonder what type of bait you would need to catch this thing?

Kara: I am familiar with this spot at Carter's Lake! Yikes!

Sandra: Holy crap!

Logan: Whatttttt?!? I go tubing in that area.

Tim: I told you there's monsters in those lakes. Lmao Wanda: Oh my, Nessy is now in Carters Lake.

Judy: Or maybe the missing Maylasian plane?

Herman: I got me some shark bait and tackle, that would probably catch ‘em!

Coty: Looks like the other side of the big dam where the picnic area is.

Joyce: Just live and let live. He’s probably been around a really long time and never hurt nobody.

John: I dive that lake often and have never seen anything like that.

Carolynn: If you think that’s real, I’ve got a sea monster from Brooklyn I’d like to sell you!

Lawrence: There's an underground river from Carters Lake to cotland. Just sayin.

Lawton: Yall are crazy is all I’m gonna say.

Barbara: Would for sure haft to witness that myself lmbo!

Danny: its a giant catfish, godzilla fish

Connie: Yes it's very creepy. I hope yuns don't hook this booger! Lol....

Nel: If you were in North Dakota, that would be a paddle fish - they are in season right now!

Melisa: Thats not the strangest thing I've seen there LOL - but I usually have a boat full of teenagers with me .... so you know how strange they get!

Suzanne: Looks like Carter's but I don't know about the strange tail.... Weird!

Isn't it!

Matt: If you look closely, you can see Bigfoot on the bank throwing rocks at it!!

Tiffanie: They said there is CAT FISH in there bigger then cars!

Dana: Our very own Ga. Loch Ness. For sure that lake can handle VERY LARGE.

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Gail: What...I'm scared now.

Tom: We could bread it and deep fry it and feed the whole town!

Cole: I caught that monster last week but he’s too big to mount on the wall. lol Mary: Well it can't be from the sea since they cannot live in salt free water, maybe it is a giant catfish I have heard they can get as big as a man....

Jonathan: Well it is Ellijay so anything is possible!

Whiteboards are remarkable.

Hummingbirds are just regular birds who don't know the words.

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obb and I first met Jacob Bryant at Jilly’s when he was playing and we were eating! He was a nice friendly guy and very talented. We saw him again at Pourhouse and we were very impressed at how professional he sounded and the crowd he drew. Then it was off to Rocco’s to see him, again he brought a full house and lots of applause. He also played a concert at Sturgeon’s Amphitheater. This guy is good! And he has a new CD about to be released. When we found out that he would be having his CD release party locally, we knew we wanted to grab Jacob for an interview and story, before he got so famous, we couldn’t get ahold of him.

But after meeting him and talking to him, we figured out that he is a down to earth country boy that would never forget his roots in Jasper, Georgia. We wish him HUGE success.

R

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Interview by Thia & Robb Newman (Mostly Thia) Photos by Robb Newman & Mari Livsey of KnowPickens.com & Courtesy of Jacob Bryant

Thia: You started playing at eight years old when your Dad gave you a guitar. What are your first memories of holding and strumming on that guitar? What is the first song you learned to play?

Jacob: I just remember thinking man if I could play this thing I would be the cool kid at school. And I guess the first song I learned to play was Simple Man by Skynyrd.

Thia: Where was the first place your performed, and how did you do? ....

Jacob: First place I performed was at the Crows Nest in Jasper. I was playing guitar for a Christian rock band at the time. And how'd I do? I sucked back then, but it was fun anyways.

Thia: How did you grow from a kid with a guitar, into a singer/songwriter/musician? What were the steps on that journey?

Jacob: It went from front porch blue grass pickin', to a Christian rock band, to a praise and worship leader, then I got hired to be the house band singer at Cowboys in

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Kennesaw. And it’s all history from there. Met some great writers in Nashville and here we are today about to release a record. Crazy how time flies.

Thia: Tell me about your band members.

Jacob: Jarrett Johnson is my guitar player. Ryan Johnson is my drummer. They are brothers. They’ve been with me for a long time. Trygve Myers, my bass player, he played with the Fiddle Heads off America’s Got Talent.

He’s been with me for about a year. They are really good guys. I’m blessed to have them for sure.

Thia: Who are your favorite music talents and how did they influence you?

Jacob: Favorites would have to be George Jones, Keith Whitley and Travis Tritt. They influenced me by just being real, there was no sugar coating anything. Just real country music.

Thia: What are the best things about performing in front of an audience?

Jacob: Just seeing everyone happy and having a good time. That's what we are there for, to put on a great show and make sure people get their money’s worth. We have the best job in the world and we want to make sure people know we appreciate their support.

Thia: What is the funniest or sweetest story you have about one of your fans?

Jacob: Oh lord! I have a few over the top fans for sure.

But I'll leave the stalkers out and talk about a young man named Zack who has autism. He comes to every show he can. And is the nicest guy you could ever meet. And some how he remembers all the band member’s birthdays. He's a genius.

Thia: I am sure he will love that you mention him here. I met your wife Lauryn, and she is a doll. You can tell that she is your biggest fan. How does she feel about your career?

Jacob: She is 100% supportive of everything. She actually gets on me when I don’t do music. If I take some time to go fishing or something, she says you could be out doing music or writing songs. She believes in what I’ve got going on. And she thinks I can make it.

Thia: She is a smart lady. I agree with her. You have a new CD coming out, can you tell us all about it?

Jacob: I can hint but I like to let the music do the talking. Its a story about the ups and downs of my life for the past 4 years since my mom passed away. It definitely goes from one end of the spectrum to the other.

Thia: Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?

And how did you meet them?

Jacob: David Allen Coe, we got the opportunity to open up for him when I was in the house band at Cowboys.

Thia: You are known for working very hard on your music career, and handling it very professionally. We know this will take you far! Where do you see yourself in two years?

And what are you doing to get there?....

Jacob: I’d like to see myself touring more and hearing my songs on the radio. Until then I'll be working hard and praying even harder to get there.

Thia: What is the name of the new album?

Jacob: The album is self-titled. "Jacob Bryant" Thia: You are really popular around here, and you are getting famous. How does it feel to have your career taking off?

Jacob: I’ve learned a lot. Now, looking at what I am doing, I care about my job. I care about that people like what we are playing. I care about them liking our original songs. How does it feel? It feels wonderful. We’ve worked really hard. I’ve been doing this full-time since I was 15, and I’m 24 now.

Thia: At what point will you think you’ve made it?

Jacob: I’ll put it in three tiers. The first would be to play the Grand Ole Opry, because that is probably my Mom’s favorite place to watch music. Two- I want to open for one of my heroes, like Travis Tritt. Three- I used to go to youth conferences when I was a Christian singer at the Gwinnett Center I would like to sell out the Gwinnett Center in Atlanta. I feel like that would be the day that I made it. I saw Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban play there and that’s a lot of people ( in the audience) So when I play that stage and sell it out, I’ll feel like I’ve made it.

Thia: When that happens we will do another story on you Jacob.

Robb: By then Jacob will be saying “The Best of who?

Who are you?”

Thia: Talk to my agent. Talk to my manager.

Jacob: (Laughs) We’ll see Jacob again soon at the CD release party!

Come on out for it! May 31st Album Release party at The East Ellijay Pourhouse. Chris Weaver from Nashville will be opening the show so its going to be a huge night! Call and reserve your seats now! V.I.P seating is available as well.

Will YOU be the one to crack “THE SAFE” and WIN over $2,500 in Cash & Prizes?

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H

ave you ever thought about the power of creativity?

I mean REALLY thought about it? Have you ever felt that twinge of excitement that comes from your own creations, your own thoughts, your own feelings? If so, then good for you! If not, then good for you too. Sound like an oxymoron? I guess it kind of is. But hey, I consider myself an artist and artists are known to think outside the box a little. If you are one of the aforementioned, “Yes, my name is (insert your name here), and I have felt the joys of self-expression” type people, then you know where I’m coming from. You know what it’s like to value your opinions, your self-worth and all you can offer to the world. All this from creativity? Yes! A thousand times yes!

If you are one of the aforementioned, “No, I have no idea of these feelings you speak of mysterious author of this article” type people, then you have a cool discovery lying ahead of you. I encourage you to inquire into that journey. How, you say? Well there are several ways to go about it.

Take a class. If you want to delve into something creative, visit one of several art facilities around this area. There is the Sharptop Arts Association in Jasper, Gilmer Arts and Heritage Association in Ellijay and the Blue Ridge Mountains Arts Association in Blue Ridge, not to mention the John C. Campbell Folk School nearby as well. You can experiment with paint, pastels, photography, pottery, writing… anything you can think of, and it’s all within driving distance from where you sit reading this paper.

Don’t want to take a class? A little intimidated? (Don’t be!) But if you are, then start at home. Buy a journal. Write. Don’t worry about punctuation. Don’t worry about being correct. Just write. I bet you have a million thoughts going round your head right now, thoughts that go above and beyond what to cook for dinner or how many loads of laundry you have to do. Don’t be afraid to think. Don’t be afraid to think differently! Start with, “Who am I?” Now there’s a question that can prompt a thousand pages of writing.

Find one creative thing to do on your terms, even if it’s just admiring the best canvas of all, nature. Talk about creativity! There’s creativity for you. Color, de-

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sign, form, function, it’s all right there. Go take a look. Seriously, right now. I’ll wait…

Did you see it? Did you feel it? It’s ALL about creativity. It’s all about expression. It’s all about, well living! It’s all about living and living to the fullest.

There’s a reason, well several reasons, things aren’t just black and white and in one shape.

There’s a reason there is so much diversity in nature and in life. Things are supposed to be colorful and wonderful, and any person or any experience who has not made you feel that colorful and wonderful, well they just suck. (Wait, can I say suck in this article? {Thia says, “yes you can.” }) I just feel sorry for them then. They are missing out on one of the greatest experiences in life, self-expression!

“I don’t have talent,” you say? Hogwash! Yeah, I just said hogwash like it is one of the most distinguished words on the planet. We all have talent of some sort and we all manifest it in ways we may not even realize.

The real beauty of it comes when it is being realized and tapped into and shared with the world, beginning with ourselves.

Being creative can heal, inspire, bring joy, release sadness, give hope and purpose. Don’t believe me? When was the last time a photograph tugged at your heart strings? When was the last time a song made you dance or made you cry? When was the last time the color blue made you feel at peace? Sometimes it’s the little things, but they are powerful little things that make the world go around.

So go now. Put the paper down, but just for a little bit. There’s a lot of good stuff to read in here. But for now, just set it down and be alone with your thoughts for just a minute. Maybe take a ride to some of the places I mentioned earlier. Make a phone call and sign up for a class. Then, let me know how you feel. Let me know what you learned, what you experienced! Find your muse then let it speak through you, loud and clear for the world to hear. I would love to hear of your creative journey! Email me if you’d like and tell me all these things! jjuliadanner@yahoo.com Now go create your world!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

95% if the worlds problems could be solved with a ball peen hammer.

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Intro by Thia Newman Interview by Robb Newman Pictures Courtesy of Keith remember a few years ago, on a rainy day, Robb and I were both feeling sick and laying on the couch trying to find something to entertain us on TV when we came upon a reality show called Billy The Exterminator. Billy and his family owned a business in Louisiana. They helped with nuisance animals, removing and relocating all kinds of creatures who had moved into human spaces. The company also got rid of wasps and spiders, rats and mice. Robb and I couldn’t turn it off, and we ended up watching all of Season three in one day. A while back we met Keith, the owner of Bigfoot Wildlife Services and all the interesting stuff I had watched on TV came back to me. We knew there was a story to be told here. So Robb and Keith sat down to breakfast at Annie’s Restaurant, and did an interview. I had a lot of fun editing this one. And I don’t know how they ate food WHILE they were talking about the stuff they did, so be prepared, there is a lot of “poop” in this article…

I

Robb: I’ve got Keith here, with Bigfoot Wildlife Services. He's going to tell us some funny stories and interesting stuff he’s found.

Keith: I've got a new pet. I was trapping several beaver off Yukon road. I had some traps set out; I caught a couple. I come back to check on a trap and I'm hearing some squealing noises. I'm coming closer to where I've got the trap set next to a big giant beaver den. I get there, and there’s something small and black but I couldn't see much; it's early morning and foggy. What the heck is that? I get closer, it's a little black puppy in a snare cable trap. It doesn’t hurt them. It just holds them in place. Couldn't have been more than 6 months old and this property is acres away from other houses. The puppy is loving all over me and romping through the woods with me.

I fell in love with him, so I've got a little puppy dog now.

Robb: That’s a great story with a happy ending. So, how many times have you been bitten by something?

Keith: Uh, I've been doing this for around ten years now. Many random non-venomous snake bites.

Robb: I do notice that you do have all of your fingers. None of them are black or gangrene Keith: Yes. They're all there. Some of the bones have been broken through the years and little scars and stuff, cat scratches. Believe it or not, it's feral cats more than anything that I've been bitten by.

Robb: You see lots of vicious animals?

Keith: Let’s see, vicious animals. I’ve had a beaver charge at me.

Robb: A beaver?

Keith: They will cause thousands of dollars worth of damage to people’s property. I get a lot of weird calls. Like this elderly man wanted a beaver on his property, so I made him sign a waiver saying that I’m not responsible for anything. And I brought the beaver to the property and as soon as I let it out, he started grunting and charging towards me, so I used the cage like a shield almost, and fought him off

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I spend 500% of my life exaggerating.

with that. He finally went off into this guy’s pond.

Robb: Do you ever get any calls because of the name Bigfoot? Like people saw Bigfoot?

Keith: Yeah, people wanting to work with me; wanting to go have adventures in the woods.

Robb: I notice that every year you have a Bigfoot scarecrow on the Square.

Keith: I might actually have to buy another one this year because I leave them out in my front yard year-round for bow practice. I actually have a picture of me wearing that costume when I first got it; repelling off the side of a building; just for pictures.

Robb: Beavers. Bigfoot.

What else? Spiders?

Keith: I don’t do spiders.

I don’t do anything with pesticides or chemicals.

The only insect we do are bees, hornets, wasps and yellow jackets. Those are the only ones that I can come one time and take it away, take the nest away, take the queen away, larvae, and be done. Extract the entire nest.

Robb: Do you ever get phone calls from like an angry housewife, “Come here! My husband is like an animal; get him out of here!”

Keith: I’ve had, “how much do you charge to remove Mother-in-laws?”

Robb: (Laughs) So do you use deterrents?

Keith: You can use deterrents like when bats are inside houses. Putting one way tubes and tarps essentially to let them fly out and not fly back in.

And that, just like with flying squirrels or mice, you seal it up so they can’t get back in.

Robb: Have you ever encountered a Vampire?

Keith: I’ve seen some pasty people that need to get outside of their cabins a little more.

Robb: I didn’t say batty people. How about a tip for our readers, say a pest deer situation; what would be good a home remedy? And what doesn’t work?

Keith: I’ve heard about mothballs. The amount of mothballs you’d have to put out to deter a pest, would also deter humans from wanting to hang out there.

Robb: So, that’s a myth that was put out by the mothball association or something?

Keith: Yeah, the door to door mothball salesman.

Robb: So, it doesn’t really work for animals?

Keith: If that food source is still there, they are going to go for that food source. One thing that does work for birds, mainly, is going to be shiny pixilations like when you take a dvd or cd, or a pie tin, and you shine it in the sun back and forth, it helps.

Robb: So, if you just hang one up, it will scare them away?

Keith: Yeah. That’s what we do for some woodpecker jobs when they are pecking on people’s siding. If you go by those old timers corn fields, you’ll see these pie tins hanging to scare away crows eating their crops. It’s going to look like a

party outside your house, but it helps.

Robb: Are there any other good products that work?

Keith: A great product out that I’ve seen is a motion sensor sprinkler. You can have it hooked up any time. The animal will set off that sensor and get hit with water. They are going to stop coming.

Robb: What about, like bear urine or something like that, does that scare animals like...

Keith: No. I’ve heard coyote urine will work good for that too but, again, you put out pee and it’s going to smell like pee. I don’t want my garden smelling like pee.

Robb: Yeah, then your whole house smells like bear urine. Do you put out trail cams to visually catch things?

Keith: Usually it’s just looking at the tell tail signs.

If I can find the scat (poop), if I can find the tracks; claw marks, chew marks; how high up things are, snapped branches or twigs or what’s associated with it, like I just had a job where I caught two otters from a house off of 282 here last week.

Robb: There’s otters around here?

Keith: Oh yeah. River otters. Not sea otters like you see in the zoo, but river otters.

Robb: Do you get called out to break up beaver dens?

Keith: Yeah. Well, it’s only after the beaver are gone. If you break a beaver den up before the beaver are gone, they will just rebuild it within one or two nights. People will call us, frustrated, because five to ten times they will go break open this dam and within two days, it’s built back. They will dynamite it, they will set it on fire, They’ll get a backhoe in there, unless you take care of the beaver, they are going to keep rebuilding it.

Robb: Eager beavers Keith: Yeah. That’s when I get called in to take care of it. They’ll go, “I’ve been battling with this for years!” and I’ll go, “well, you should have called me years ago.”

Robb: Do you have a funny story?

Keith: I get calls for dead animal removal. People put poison out and mice, rat, or whatever eats it and dies and it starts smelling so I come out. So, this woman called because she thought something had died. She can’t find it. Yeah, she doesn’t want to look for it. It usually comes down to people don’t want to look for it because they are afraid of what they will find. So she tells me- the smell is, somewhere in the hallway and my son’s room.

The smell I’m getting is different from most of the other animal smells that I’m used to and I’m following it into the kids room, to behind the big, clunky, iron radiator. It’s almost a foot aways from the wall. I’m looking around, and the heater kicks on. I smell it a little more so, ah ha! I look behind there, bingo! Found something; it ain’t a dead animal.

Robb: I’m laughing because I already know what happens.

Keith: So, I call the mother into the room and tell her I found out what it is. She goes, great! What is it? and I go, Well, let me ask you a question. Do you happen to own a monkey? And she looks at me like I’m crazy and she goes, No. I go, well, it’s definitely a primate and she’s looking at me completely befuddled and I go, “it’s dropping it’s crap

Have you checked out our website lately? www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com

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back there. It’s either a monkey or it’s human and if you don’t have a monkey.... and then I kind of nudged my head towards the little boy. I guess in the middle of the night he was afraid to go down the hall into the bathroom, so he did number two in his britches, and throws it behind the radiator. That answered two questions for her; one being what the smell was and two being where did all her son’s underwear go? There was a pretty hefty pile back there. I’m surprised she didn’t find them sooner. That was one of the weirder calls that came out. Usually when it’s a dead animal smell, it’s a dead animal, but every once in a while it will be animal excrement that people are smelling, but never have I had a human excrement call before.

Robb: That’s funny. Okay, on to local snakes.

Keith: I get lots of calls in the summertime for snakes and every time I get a call, it’s always a Copperhead, no matter what shape, size, or coloration, it’s a Copperhead.

Robb: They THINK it’s a Copperhead.

Keith: Exactly! And I come out and it’s not. An easy way to tell is going to be the shape of the head. If the shape of the head is oval shaped, it’s going to be a non-venomous snake. If it’s shaped like a spade, like a spade shovel with the big jaws protruding, then it’s going to be a pit viper and the only three pit vipers we have in this region of Georgia are Copperheads, Eastern Timber Rattler, and the Cotton Mouth which is the same thing as a Water Moccasin. Another way to tell is going to be if you can get close enough to see the eyes, Robb: Right. Which, most people won’t.

Keith: Most people won’t, but sometimes you get surprised. If the pupils are round, it’s non-venomous. If the pupils are vertical, like a cat’s eyes, it’s a venomous snake. For the most part, snakes in a cabin are doing you a favor, when 9 times out of 10, they are finding a food source; being squirrels, mice, rats, even bugs. But, we’ll get them out. And then bees; please do not spray Honeybees in the summertime. If you happen to notice the bees that have a little fur on their backs, then it’s likely to be a Honeybee and do not spray them; because, they are already dying off in record numbers.

And summertime is going to bring in lots of bats, as well. It’s against the law to kill them. But, if you get bats in your house, don’t freak out. I’ve got links on my website to Bat Conservation International and step by step what to do if a bat’s in your house. In the summertime, it’s the babies that are flightless for the first two months that come inside peoples houses.

I’ll get late night calls; I’ll wait for them to leave a message and if it’s hey, i’ve

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got something in my house and it’s midnight, I’ll call them back and either give them tips and advice. If they want to pay for us to come out, we’ll come out. That’s what we’re in business for.

Robb: So, basically, you’re in business because you have a lower repulsion quotient than most other people?

Keith: Yeah, I guess you could say that. I like to think of it as…

Robb: Where most people go, ‘ewwwww and run.

Keith: I’ll say, “Cool! What’s that?” Let me pick that up and put it in my pocket.

I was one of the kids that picked up the frogs and snakes and put them in my pocket. I was the kid that the mother used to hate doing laundry after. In this line of work, you can’t be afraid to get dirty. Every winter I’ll usually grow my beard out and as soon as summertime hits and I’m dealing with the bats and the bees and stuff, I shave my beard.

Robb: You don’t want it getting in there.

Keith: Oh! It’s just horrible how nasty!

Rotten wood; I’ll knock a soffit down and just get showered in excrement and baby spiders...and crawling around, it gets to me too. Not as much as other people but, it still gets to me.

Robb: You just take the bullet for everybody.

Keith: Hey, I mean, I’m raking in a paycheck when I’m doing that, so Robb: Like they say, “It’s a rough job, but somebody’s got to do it” Keith: I’d much rather do that than sit in front of a computer. I just don’t have the patience.

Robb: Well, back at you. I’d rather sit in front of a computer.

Keith: Exactly. It takes both types to make the world revolve. As far as that; covered the bees, covered the bats, covered the snakes. Flying squirrels, most people don’t know anything about them.

They are the size of a chipmunk, covered in gray with a white underbelly. Big eyes.

People hear stuff in their roof at night, battering around, duh dat duh duh dat, back and forth it’s usually flying squirrels. They’re nocturnal so you’re not going to see them, you’re going to hear them. They’re going to be chewing on stuff. They are one of the only animals that plays with their food so they’ll bat around acorns. People always say it sounds like miniature bowling happening in their attics. They will also cause lots of excrement. I’ll get calls. People will think they have a dead animal in their attic and I’ll come out and take a look. They actually eat lots of red berries and acorns and stuff with the dark red blood color.

Robb: So it’s red poop? Ok, now you’re making me sick.

Keith: Well, good thing we’ve already finished our breakfast, huh?

Synonym: A word used in place of the one you can’t spell.

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A

s a child, all my babysitting money and allowance was saved in a shoebox hidden in the closet under my stuffed animals and games collection. Most kids growing up in the ’70’s prided themselves on their huge “45” record collections.

However I never felt the need to buy and collect records like my peers. I chose to save each and every dollar to buy myself an SLR camera. I was always fascinated by the art of photography and the ability to create magic through the tiny eyepiece and a twist of a lens. As a self-taught photographer, I would hop on my green banana seat bike with my camera hanging over my shoulders and rolls of film stuffed in my pockets. With the wind blowing in my hair and my heart racing, I peddled as fast as I could, to reach my hidden sanctuaries.

My destinations would vary each and ever week from quiet beaches, gardens, to marshes and parks. There I would walk among the silence and take in all of natures gifts. I always loved photographing the beautiful flowers, streams, tree branches and statues that would take on a different look depending on the seasons.

Through the years, I continued to invest in more camera equipment and to hunt for special places to photograph. I believe it was North Georgia’s beauty and splendor that captivated both my husband and me to buy a second home here. I know he definitely used the tactic of how much I would enjoy photographing the seasons, mountains, deer, waterfall, and all the beautiful nature that comes with our home ownership. Living in the Coosawattee River Resort, I have had the wonderful opportunity to photograph the deer running freely within the community. However, I must say that my timing has been off every time we visit. I have missed photographing the snow, wild flowers, dogwood season and the height of the fall foliage. When I learned about Gibbs Gardens, I knew that I must visit during their Daffodil festival. So, with my camera in hand, and my neighbor Kathy, (a master gardener in-training and active member of Ellijay’s garden club) along with me, we began our adventure.

Gibbs Gardens is located just passed Jasper in the town of Ball Ground. I enjoyed seeing the marble quarry and Tate House on the way to the gardens. As we drove into the garden a gentleman welcomed us and showed us where to park. We headed down a sidewalk filled with beautiful hanging flower baskets on railings, manicured grounds

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I love cleaning up messes I didn’t make. So I became a MOM!

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.

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My level of maturity depends on who I’m with.

and wind chimes blowing in the brisk air. Once you enter the Garden’s information and ticket center you are greeted by a warm, smiling staff member who personally welcomes you to the gardens. One truly gets a sense of pride from the staff. It is as if the gardens personally belong to them, as well as the Gibbs Family. I am told that on most days Mr. Gibbs sits on a stool and welcomes each and every person into his garden. I was more than ready to start documenting my visit through my lens. The garden is magical and story book perfect. So much to look at and photograph. First up was a beautiful Cherokee Indian sculpture created by local Ellijay artist Eric Strauss. Kathy and I decided to walk the gardens versus hopping on their tram. As you stroll down the paved paths lined with thousands of brightly colored daffodils you get the sense that you have stepped into a secret garden. At one point, I thought I was on the set of the Wizard Of Oz and the yellow brick road was created with brightly colored daffodils. It was simply amazing. You will see whimsical bronze statues of children running and playing throughout the garden, There are many benches to sit on in-between the step climbing to take in the view or rest a bit as you make your way up to Mr Gibbs’ private manor house. His home is perched 150 feet up, on a crest overlooking his garden oasis. It is an English style manor home that is just spectacular and you can actually walk right up and see his private residence with gorgeous black lagoon pool. All I could think about inbetween photographing this beautiful estate was, what would it be like to

wake up and have your morning coffee with this amazing garden view? It is truly bucket list worthy!

With thoughts of coffee dancing around in my mind, Kathy and I decided to check out the Arbor Cafe for a quick snack. Kathy, who has visited the gardens in the past said that the baked goods and chicken salad on cranberry bread are outstanding. However, they were closing as we were approaching and they allowed us to buy some baked goods and drinks. We happily left with a loaf of homemade cranberry nut bread as well as an oversized brownie that was delicious but resembled more of a chocolate cake and a gigantic sugar cookie. Although it was a very cold day we enjoyed having our snack among the beautiful grounds.

I had the opportunity to speak to Barbara Schneider who is in charge of the garden’s marketing department. They have some very special events planned this year besides the seventeen bloom festivals, music festival and Japanese festival. Barbara told me that the garden will also be hosting some twilight events, like an adult date night. This will be held in the garden with music, beer, and wine tasting along with small plates of food created by local restaurants. Sounds like a great way to spend an evening.

I couldn’t wait to get back to my cabin and see all my precious images on the computer. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed taking them and sharing them with you.

For more information, check out http://GibbsGardens.com

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. - Joey Adams

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Story by Robb Newman • Photos by Robb Newman & Eva Cartin

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ur paper is all about FUN. Let me tell you, since starting this paper a year ago I have found there’s a LOT more fun out there in North Georgia than most people are aware of. Mostly because most of us are creatures of habit and stick to the same kind of fun over and over.

One thing great about this paper is that it makes me get out and do things I probably otherwise would be too lazy (or scared) to do. Horseback riding is one of those things.

I was an experienced rider in my youth. My parents always had quarters ready should any bucking bronco appear outside a store. And who knows how many miles I logged riding around and around the inside of that circular fence on the back of a pony tethered to a pole. Well, there was also that one time about 30 years ago I went riding with my wife Thia. It’s a rather long story, let’s just say I haven’t been horseback riding since.

Then I read an advertisement in The Best Of Ellijay, Blue Ridge & Jasper (well, actually I laid out the ad) and I thought , This is a whole category of fun in this area! Not only is horseback riding fun but it’s a great way to explore and take in the beauty of our local National Forests. As far as I’m concerned, it sure beats walking! So I contacted Martha from North Georgia Equestrian Tours and said “Martha, can a big yet not necessarily tall guy like me ride a horse?” She asked “How big are you?” Vanity got the best of me and I lied, I told her I was 260 pounds, actually I’m 265 and only 5’9’, but admitting to that extra 5 pounds might make me do something crazy like start a diet or something. Martha told me “No problem, I have bigger horses!” And thus began my latest adventure.

Thia wasn’t big on the idea of going horseback riding so I asked Eva, one of our paper’s columnists, to come along and we had a great time. It’s a good thing I had all that experience behind me. Martha explained “We don’t take first time riders. We do rides for horse people.

Because you are going to be sitting on a horse for 3 or 4 hours, you have to have a bit of experience in riding and controlling a horse. I’m a licensed outfitter, so we can take riders into the Chattahoochee National Forest. Our rides take place in the Conasauga Ranger District.” I asked

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her if it was a scheduled group tour, like at one of those Japanese restaurants where they seat you with a bunch of people you don’t know?

“No, it’s a private ride. You don’t go with people you don’t know. If you want to take it slow and have it take five hours, you can.”

Martha and her daughter Heather loaded the horses onto a 24 foot trailer and we all piled into the pickup truck for a short drive to the trail. As we drove along the road, it started looking less and less like an actual road, remember I said we were towing a 24 foot trailer! Martha explained, “This is old Highway 2 that used to be a road that went all the way over the mountain. They closed it off when this became a national forest, and now it’s a forest service road. You can travel all the way through the mountains and take a left turn and you come out on highway 52 and you are nine miles from Ellijay’s downtown square. There are no mechanized vehicles allowed, not even bicycles, and no mechanized tools either, so when we go in there to clear fallen trees we have to do it the old timey method with the cross-cut saws, no chain saws.”

Uhm, right now it’s looking like we are going to fly off the edge of a 150 foot drop! I feel like I’m flying in a helicopter here. This is a pretty narrow road! Eva: “Don’t look down!” Fortunately Martha handled it like the pro she is and we finally made it to the beginning of the trail. They unloaded the horses, and loaded Eva and I onto our horses.

When I got on my horse, “Ellie”, she grunted, I swear I saw her give me this dirty look. Martha and Heather gave us a quick refresher course on the art of horse control……

Heather: Steering a horse is just like riding a bike, right means right and left means left. Take your right rein and pull back towards your hip to go right. Take your left rein and pull back towards your hip to go left. If you want to stop, pull straight back towards your belly button and say “whoa!”.

Martha: Get the reigns tight, you don’t want to let them be in charge. Their brain is the size of a peach. Big animal, little brain. You have to be in charge.

I asked “Where’s the Emergency Cut Off Button?”.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. -Mark Twain

I guess everybody knows that there are hiking trails all through the hills around here but did you know there’s a veritable highway system of horse trails in the wilderness? You’ll see signs that say “Alabama”! Can you imagine riding to Alabama on a horse?

The horse trails intersect with the hiking trails. I began to imagine the 911 call to report a wreck at the corner of Benton McCay Trail and Horse Road 1.

Before I tell you (warn you perhaps) about a surprisingly large number of muscles I haven’t used in those 30 nonhorseback riding years let me tell you that it was the most relaxing, “in the moment” time I have had for a long time. Like I’ve said in the past, hiking is great, but it involves walking, I’m not two hundred and sixty-FIVE pounds for no reason! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying horseback riding is just for non-walkers like me, we are just a subset of those for which horseback riding is a very enjoyable activity which has with it the added benefit of being a non-walking activity.

During the quiet moments, our group spent most of our talking-time discussing, ironically, food, but when it was quiet, so peaceful, the horse hooves sound hypnotic, I felt a bit like I was in a time machine. I was living history. 150-200 years ago, even less, THIS is how it was. THESE (trails)really WERE the roads.

There’s houses and schools and churches W-A-A-A-A-Y up in those hills. This was how life was.

The horse was then what the car is now. I was on the back of a walking museum and I was, for a bit, seeing the incredibly beautiful scenery from the same vantage point as a rider in the time of birth of our nation. I had goose bumps, I mean it.

Martha is like “The Horse Whisperer”, she was training the horse she was riding. Eva and I were riding very tame and very cooperative horses. Well, Ellie did have her own agenda, eating grass, leaves etc. and once in a while I wondered who was steering whom. But I’d say Martha matched us up well. These horses are called gaited horses, a thing of which I knew nothing about so I asked Martha to explain. “Ellie is a gaited horse which does an extended walk. A

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s call hunger.

four beat gait. A trotting horse does a two beat gait, so you get air time which causes you to bounce. In a gaited horse there is no bounce, so you can ride.

Gaited horses can trot. Trotted horses don’t gait.” So these horses give you a more cushioned ride, like air shocks, the difference between a Cadillac and an old Datsun pick up truck I suppose. Did I just tick off all the non-gaited horse and Datsun pickup truck lovers?

Martha also boards horses and sells horses. I asked, “So you sell horses, but it’s not the kind of thing where someone rides up in a trailer and says gimme that one.” Martha said, “Yes I sell horses but no… before they can take the horse home, they have to show me that they are capable of riding the horse safely on a trail and it’s a good match. And my young horses I won’t sell to someone unless they come with a trainer. My goal is to match people and get horses forever homes. There is a right horse for every owner. Every horse has a human out there. So that is our goal to find the right human for that horse.”

OH… remember I told you about all those muscles I hadn’t used? Well the next day they started screaming “Over here!

I’m over here!” WOW! But it was absolutely 100% worth it and and I look forward to doing it again. After all, I’m a creature of habit and this definitely was a habit-forming experience. Eva loved it too, she rides horses a lot more than me. Eva said, “I had such a great time going riding with Robb. Martha and Heather were extremely nice and very informative about the area. The forest scenery was beautiful and serene and the views from the main road were breathtaking!

Crossing the numerous creeks, hills, and the occasional downed tree kept the ride even more interesting. It was a fun ride with friendly, knowledgeable people, great views and great horses. I would definitely visit North Georgia Equestrian Tours again.”

NOTE: Some of these photos are a bit blurry, forgive me, I was riding on and trying to STAY on the back of a moving horse while snapping pictures. northgeorgiaequestriantours.com 706-851-5198

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These are great cookies for an after school snack. So easy to make even the kids can help with this. This is a semi-homemade recipe, using Betty Crocker oatmeal cookie mix. To make these extra special I added orange and dried cranberries.

Ingredients 1 package of Betty Crocker Oatmeal cookies mix 1 medium orange 1 egg 1 stick butter 1/2 cup dried cranberries Instructions Mix oatmeal cookie mix with softened butter, zest of one orange, 2 tablespoon orange juice, egg and cranberries. Mix together until dough forms (dough will be stiff).

Drop by rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheet.

(For larger cookies use tablespoon).

Bake at 350 for nonstick cookie sheet for 10-12 minutes for regular size or 11-13 minutes for larger cookies. Cool one minute before removing from cookie sheet. Makes about 2 1/2 dozen cookies.

Note: For all other cookie sheets bake at 375.

Enjoy!

Nan

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“Where should we got for dinner?� - Read all of our Restaurant Reviews at www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/restaurant-reviews

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hat a wonderful place we live, with such caring giving communities. From a Zumba-thon, to Bark for Life, to toilets on your front lawn, to a Carnival in the Park, to painting the town purple, to the

Ronnie Thompson Car Show, to benefit performances, so many wonderful events were held and are being held this spring to benefit the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life! Watch for the Relay for Life Walks com-

ing up soon. Look up Relay for Life on Facebook or Google to find more events in our area.

Photography by Jim Harmon (except for a few pictures Thia borrowed from friends on Facebook)

Silence is golden. Duct Tape is silver.

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County, North Carolina. (7/5/1834-?) He was a teacher. He was in the Confederate Army, a private in the 65th Regiment Infantry.

William Franklin Hill’s father was William, born 1799 in Rutherford, North Carolina.

He died in Gilmer county, 1883. His mother was Martha DeBoard, who died in Gilmer County, 1885.

Cora Gates Hill and John Hill had a daughter whom they named Kate.

(5/3/1907 - 5/1/1991). She married William (Bill) Blain Sawyer. (5/20/1902- 6/1/1971) These were my maternal grandparents. I was the only grandchild for almost eleven years (my mother being an only child), and they lived right up the street. I spent many hours with them, being raised by grandparents about as much as I was by my parents, as all of us lived within walking distance of each other.

Bill’s father was William Cisero. (1861 1943) He ran a grist mill under the dam, which was located where the East Ellijay Bridge is now. He also had a little building there where he repaired watches and clocks. His father was Cisero Sawyer, his mother was Rosilee Teague.

Bill’s mother was Samintha (Mint) Abigail Mulky. (1866-1948) Samintha was a midwife and delivered most of the children in the East Ellijay area. All of the children she delivered called her Aunt Mint. This made my mother furious as a child, as she was very territorial of her granny!

Mint’s mother was Nancy Abigail Colowell . (10/7/1828- 11/26/1914) Nancy’s mother was a Berry (related to the Berry college folks) and Nancy’s father’s name was Robert Colowell.

Mint’s father was David Mulky.

(10/16/1824- 6/30/1913) His mother was one of two women; listed in the next paragraph.

David’s father was Reverend William Mulky. He was married to Anna Prater and Lucy Clemmons. Each wife had twelve children. (Is it no wonder we are all related in Gilmer County?)

Reverend William Mulky was either a son or grandson to Rev. Phillip Mulkey ( and yes, the spelling changed) born 1756, who was probably the son of another Rev. Phillip Mulkey, (1732-1801) the Separate Baptist preacher at Fairforest, S.C. This makes me seven generations from the Pence side and sixth generation of Hills in Gilmer County. (Not the one I’m married to, so relax.) I can only count back five generations on the other side, as I don’t know about previous generations.

Next column will be about grandparents and their growing up years in Gilmer County.

round 1830 Absalom Pence settled in the Mountaintown Area of Gilmer County. He was one of the first whites in the County. He also helped settle Mountaintown Church, according to records. He had a son, Andrew C., who married a Cherokee, last name of Carroll. They had a daughter, Atheline, who married Sam Gates.

Sam’s father was Peter Austin Gates and his mother, a Cherokee, was named Sarah. She was first married to a Parks.

Atheline and Sam had a daughter, Eliza Cora Ann Gates.

(3/21/1885- Fall of 1965).

Cora married John Grover Hill.

(5/15/1884 -1970) These are the only greatgrandparents I ever knew. Until my great-grandmother (Mama Hill, or just Mama) died, a lot of our family activities centered around their home and her cooking. She cooked on a wood stove, churned her own butter, canned, dried and pickled her own food. Papa farmed and cut timber. I was eleven when Mama Hill died and fourteen when Papa died.

John’s mother was Mary Louise Reynolds. His father was James P. Hill.

James P.’s mother was Ann Osborn. Her father was Rev. N. R. Osborn. (3/20/18066/13/1896) Rev. Osborn’s father, John Osborn, moved to Gilmer County from Western North Carolina.

John’s father, Jeremiah, moved from England to Virginia to Western North Carolina.

Ann Osborn’s mother was Mary Johnson. (8/11/18096/7/1895) James P. Hill’s father was William Franklin Hill, who was from Buncombe To read all of Kathi Hill’s Columns just go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com and type KATHI HILL into the site search window.

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The light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you. - Floor

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HEAR TOPPER’S “PLAYING THE GAME” HERE: www.topperlive.com/mp3/jukebox.html

Story by Thia Pictures by Robb

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his has to be a first, a music video shot in and around Gilmer County! Nationally known band Topper teamed up with James Sturgeon as Director and Emmy award winning videographer Brian Kast , to take their original song “Playing the Game” to new heights by turning it into a music video! The four day shoot used local people (including Robb as a poker player, and Mari from KnowPickens.com as an angry wife) to set the stage in several different locations.

Robb said, “This was a goose bumps kind of experience. I was really happy to be a part of music history in the making.” The story told is of some poor musicians who gave up everything for their music, and in the end, hit it big!

The final location of the music video was an actual concert by Topper played at Sturgeons Amphitheater.

It was free to get in, and even though we had cloudy skies, not a drop of rain fell. The five piece band, Topper (which features Hall of Fame musician Billy J. Morris), was magnificent! They played some original songs and some covers of the best songs, the classics. After treating us to an actual concert, we went on to filming for the video. It was fun being directed! All the people in attendance became the crowd in front of the stage, we were told to chant “Topper! Topper!”, while they were filming. So me (Thia) and my Dad danced and clapped and chanted. You might just see us in the concert part of the video. It was really fun. A great night of music and friends and we even made some new friends. I can’t WAIT to see the video when it is all edited and ready to go!

Promoter/Director James Sturgeon updated us on the video’s progress...

“the video is in the editing stages I (James ) will be seeing the first draft on Friday May 16. The editing process takes a long time but I am confident this will be well worth the wait.”.... I asked about best memories of the shoot “a few things come to mind, while we where shooting the poker game we had a lot of fun, there will be some great bloopers from that! Shooting that scene and the broken down truck scene was fun of course standing on the round about withb a sign “Will Play For Food!”in down town Ellijay was hilarious has well. We will keep you posted on the progress and the release date of the video.”

If you missed this show, don’t worry, Topper will be back on July 4th for a huge extravaganza at Sturgeon’s Amphitheater with Mustang Sally and comedian Darryl Rhoades and huge fireworks display.

HEAR TOPPER’S “PLAYING THE GAME” HERE: www.topperlive.com/mp3/jukebox.html

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www.sturgeonsamphitheater.com • www.facebook.com/sturgeonsamphitheater

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am excited to introduce you to my friend Mr. J.R. Robinson tour bus driver to the stars. J.R. has been a driver, friend, and confidant to the stars he has driven for over the last 26 years.

He is a southern man with a wonderful energy who tells it like it is and is always is willing to share his opinions. He was born in Houston Texas then moved to Mississippi with his family at a young age. The stories of his career are both captivating and entertaining to say the least. I am honored and humbled to be able to share his career with both you the readers of this amazing fun paper and everyone who reads the book we are writing about his outstanding career. This column will offer you a glimpse into the book and insight into his career as well as the lives of the stars that you love.

Upon becoming an adult J.R. started a successful career as a police officer in a small town in Mississippi. He then decided he wanted to change careers and made the decision to try his hand as a truck driver. Little did he know that this would lead up to the events that would forever change his life! He couldn’t even have imagined the life that lay in front of him at this point. He would go from being an average truck driver to spending his days with big name stars in various careers and getting to know and befriend them. Can you imagine driving a truck one day making deliverers then in the blink of an eye you are spending your days and nights with some of the biggest names in the business and becoming close friends with them and their families?

Here is how it all began, twenty six years ago at the age of twenty one J.R. was a truck driver who was living in Mississippi and driving a truck making deliveries to Carterville, Georgia. One of the guys who worked on the loading dock was a man named Travis Tritt. Travis was playing music in the bars on the weekends and working for his father’s company on the loading dock during the week. He and J.R. became friends through work often talking of Travis’ music and spending time together outside of work. When Travis Tritt got his first recording contract he asked J.R. to drive his bus and this is how J.R.’s tour bus driving career began.

How cool is it that J.R.’s career started right here in Georgia with none other than our very own Travis Tritt? I think it is awesome that the two of them got their big break and the chance to grow their wonderful new careers together.

J.R. drove for Mr. Tritt for three tours upon the release of the hit song “Here’s a Quarter.” The tour was successful in many ways for both J.R. and Travis. They became good friends and learned a lot about the business together. J.R. says the road was long and the work was hard as they were both learning the ropes and making new careers for themselves. He describes Travis as an overall good guy with a big heart. Also saying Travis would do anything for his crew, band, and drivers. He enjoyed making others happy and treated everyone with kindness and respect.

One interesting event J.R. witnessed while on tour with Travis Tritt was while they were attending the CMA show with Travis, family, friends, and crew. J.R. recalls that both Travis Tritt and Billy Ray Cyrus were up for Male Vocalist of the Year Award and Billy Ray Cyrus won the award. After the show when everyone was wrapping things up and preparing to leave the event Mr. Cyrus came up to Mr. Tritt and tossed a quarter at him telling him to call someone who cares.

This was of course in reference to Travis Tritt’s music and he found it insulting so the two got into a confrontation. J.R. says it was always some kind of entertaining event with every star he drove for especially at large events like these when there are so many stars in one place together and in competition with each other.

J.R. describes Mr. Tritt as a very family oriented man who remains close to his mother and father as well as his wife and children. A compassionate man that goes above and beyond to provide and care for the ones he loves. He has a

strong sense of values and morals and what you see is what you get with him. Once he is your friend he is your friend for life.

J.R. and Travis still remain close after twenty six years of friendship. The two of them still meet up at least once a year for the three hundred mile bike ride in Sturgis, South Dakota.

Travis and his wife and many family and friends including J.R. and other friends in the music industry meet there every year to take part in the event. They love riding motorcycles, catching up with each other’s lives, and cutting loose and having some fun.

Mr. Tritt and his wife and family still live in Georgia in the city of Marietta remaining true to his roots. He still tours and plays his music all over the world and although he and J.R. haven’t toured together for many years they share many phone conversations, family and friendship ties, and of course their annual Sturgis rides. This job has not only been a career for J.R. It has also expanded his family to include many new people. He remains close to many of them knowing that if he needed a friend they are only a phone call away. He of course feels the same way about them and would be there if he was needed.

We often don’t think of the stars we love as people, because they seem larger than life to us when compared to our everyday lives. Getting to know J.R. and talking to him about his career and the stars he calls friends has helped me to realize that they are all just people and want the same things we all do out of life and that is friendship, love and acceptance. They are talented people who share their passion with us and we admire them for it.

I hope you have enjoyed riding along with J.R. and Travis Tritt in this article and will want to continue along this journey with us as we learn more about J.R. and his career, as well as the inside stories on the stars he has driven for. I know I can’t wait to hear more of his stories about the stars that we love and we look forward to being able to share them here with you the readers.

Thank you for reading The Best Of Ellijay, Blue Ridge & Jasper - The “FUNPAPER”

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W

ith spring in play and summer not so far off we decided that an appropriate craft would be bugs and not just any craft with bugs but an edible craft with bugs. This was a first for me and my Kraft Kids as we have not yet attempted a food craft. We were all excited to look at different ideas as well as come up with many wonderful ideas of our own. We settled on three bugs that we wanted to create a craft of. The first one was a snake which is not really a bug but creepy and crawly so we went with it. I’m sure you have noticed we aren’t much for following the rules and like to make our own rules. The second one is the Very Hungry Caterpillar which is a book we like that reminds of us spring. The third one was a butterfly which allows much creativity and is a pillar of spring when you think about it.

The cool thing about all these crafts is that you only need food items and some bamboo skewers.

The food you will need for the snake is sliced bananas, sliced strawberries, some sprinkles, and a tube of white squeezable icing. You will need a skewer for the snake. You take a small end piece of a strawberry and place it on the skewer first to make the head. After it is in place then you place a slice of banana on the skewer and continue a pattern of one banana slice then one strawberry slice back and forth until the skewer is as full as you want it to be. When you have done this you simply take your icing tube and squeeze two tiny dots of icing on your snake head to secure the eyes in place.

Then take a sprinkle in the color of your choice and place it in the center of the icing dot to make your snakes eyes. Presto you have a completed edible snake.

Now we are the kind of Krafty Kids that think if you are going to make a edible craft the next step is to well eat it so before moving on to the next craft we took the time to eat and enjoy our snakes. The girls even thought it was yummy and cool with not one single yuck being said. Tristan was the most fascinated with the snake craft of course being that he is all boy and all about anything creepy and crawly. Breanna and Gracie are definitely not the skittish type though and can hang right in there with the boys. All in all it was a very interesting snack for both girls and boy.

Next we decided to make our Very Hungry

Caterpillar. This craft is much like the snake as you will need a skewer and some food ingredients. This one however did get some groans as we needed a tomato for the head of the caterpillar and evidently Gracie and Tristan are not fans of eating the small round tomatoes. Once the tomato head is placed on the skewer the body of the caterpillar is easy you simply place the green grapes all the way down the rest of the skewer stick until you get to the end or to the point in which you want to stop. The process for the face is much the same as the snake as you just place the squeezable icing drops onto the tomato to hold the sprinkle eyes in place and give it character. At this point the kids decide it would be fun if the caterpillar had two different color eyes just to spice things up a bit. You all know me and know I’m all about creativity and not following along with the crowd but rather marching to the beat of your own drum so I was all in for that idea.

Again before moving to the third and final craft of the day we took time to eat our caterpillar craft and enjoy the yummy creations except of course the poor lonely tomatoes of Gracie and Tristan that were discarded and left for someone else to enjoy.

Those two crack me up with how picky they can be especially Tristan in this particular craft because he will eat sliced tomatoes and enjoy every bite but he was not about to eat that little round tomato.

Last but not least we move on to the last craft of the day and that is our beautiful butterflies. For this craft you will need food items only. The main ingredient is apple slices. They must be thick apple slices done in an angle that resembles the wings of a butterfly because this will be the purpose of the apple in this craft. You will also need some straight pretzel sticks for the antenna of the butterfly. We placed the apple slices side by side with the center side facing inward to each other. We then took the squeezable icing and put lines down the middle to secure our pretzel sticks onto the top of the apple slices so that our butterfly would have antennas.

Then we placed dots of icing to secure our sprinkle eyes on except this time Breanna thought maybe strawberry pieces would make better eyes and again I was all for it. Then Tristan thought he would break off tiny pieces of pretzel for his butterfly’s eyes so that was just what he did. Gracie stayed traditional using the sprinkles once again as the eyes. They then wanted to make their butterfly unique and individual to their ideas so some lines and dots of icing were applied to the apple slices that led to sprinkles and other fruit becoming part of the decoration to the wings. They were all very cute and special when all the finishing touches were applied.

The great thing about this craft is that it was an hour spent with the kids laughing, talking and creating not only wonderful memories and cute crafts but a healthy nutritious snack that was fun to make and fun to eat. Never miss an opportunity to spend time with your kids and you will be surprised what you will learn from them. I hope this also instills some nutritional value into their diet so they can learn that healthy can also be fun. I hope you all enjoyed our Krafty Kids creepy crawly spring edible craft. Until next time, craft and laugh often.

To read all of Lora’s Krafty Kids Cloumns just go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com and type LORA BUNCH into the site search window.

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Dear business person... you are reading this, shouldn’t you be advertising here? www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/advertise

Show me an artificial salami and I’ll show you a phony baloney! - Soupy Sales

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H

ello North Georgia! Danny here with more Tales From the Back Stage Door .

I am always and forever saying that I’m not a very good writer and sometimes I think gosh, deadline is coming Danny and you haven’t written a single syllable. My mind goes blank and panic sets in!! Well thanks to the wonderful editor of this little home away from home I am able to come visit with y’all again. (And this editor says you are an amazing writer Danny!)

Sometimes the best tales ever told from back stage are the ones from home. This is where I learned the most. I, as well as, The Carla Tatum Band (CTB) have had the honor and privilege of knowing and/or playing with some of these wonderful and talented people. These people are the ones that make the stars the stars. The people that make a good singer sound like a great singer. Those people without names that you have heard on the radio and never knew it.

They are called session musicians. Some refer to them as side men. The names go on and on and yep, a lot of them live right here in North Georgia!

Gaylon Mathews, one of the best steel guitarists In the nation, is a home-grown Jasper citizen and one of the nicest people you would ever meet. He is a producer and health care professional and if you like Gretchen Wilson, you have certainly seen him carry her from the beach on a surf board on CMT (Country Music Television) and on the concert stage many times. He has played all over the world and owns a billy goat named Scooby. Now how cool is that? A true Georgian and a true friend, Gaylon helped us record our demo that led the Carla Tatum Band to booking quite a few shows. We look forward to working with him more in the future.

A couple of years ago, The CTB took the stage with a world renowned musician at East Ellijay Pourhouse by the name of Joey Huffman. Joey, who has been in the music business for 35 years, was still recovering from an automobile accident that almost took his life but that didn’t make

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us any less nervous! This young man is the keyboardist for Hank Williams Jr. and has also shared the spotlight with Matchbox Twenty, Soul Asylum, Drivin’ N Cryin’, Cee Lo Green and Lynyrd Skynyrd, following in the steps of Billy Powell to help them finish out their tour due to Billy’s untimely death. I could fill a couple of pages if I attempted to list everyone this man has either worked with or played for.

When we asked if there were any songs in particular he would like to perform along with us before the show, he requested Carla learn a song he played organ on by Miranda Lambert entitled “Bring Me Down.” Carla still performs it in honor of him to this day. I never will forget getting to the Pourhouse to set up and someone had selected “I’m Going Straight To Hell” by Drivin’ N Cryin’ on the jukebox and Joey was sitting on the stage playing the exact part right along with it that I’m sure he played so many times with that band before.

Another fond memory that I have involves Carla sitting on Youtube pulling up videos of Joey playing with various artists and finds him on stage with none other than Stephen Tyler himself doing “All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight” at Hank Jr.’s birthday bash and Joey jamming away behind him on the keys! Needless to say, seeing this a week before a show with this guy made Carla a wee bit jittery!

Joey has achieved a name worldwide not only as a world renowned musician and producer but also as a true front runner for health care awareness in the music industry. Just recently his ordeal with a brain tumor had him staring death right in the eye. Because of having no health insurance, this left him facing an uncertain future. He went through the fears of not making it to the surgery because of no insurance and then had to face the possibility of not making it through the surgery due to the seriousness of his illness. Imagine one who spent three days in the studio with Mick Jagger doing demos of new songs for a little ole record called “Voodoo Lounge” by the Rolling Stones, facing something so devastating. Luckily, thanks to all of his as-

sociates, friends and fans and their fund-raising along with many prayers, he was able to have the surgery he so desperately needed and he came through it flawlessly. Now he’s back to work touring and playing better than ever.

These are the boys that work for very little money and home is the next town they wake up in. I once heard a former drummer for Travis Tritt say “I don’t play for the money, I play for the glory.” As time has went by this old boy has certainly learned that’s a good attitude to have.

These people are the ones that have seen the lights of the David Letterman show, played in front of thirty-thousand plus people, finished the show and hopped back on the bus and ate cold pizza because of not having the time to sit down and have a warm meal. We, as an audience, buy tickets to see the people that these musicians work for. I am lucky enough to know some of them and even be able to call them my friends and they are fun loving folks that know how to squeeze every drop out of life.

Look up Joey Huffman and Gaylon Mathews on the Internet and read their stories. Get to know these men you have heard on the radio, seen on TV, maybe even seen live and didn’t know who they were. Joey has been nominated by the Georgia Music Awards for Rock Artist of the Year. He has my vote and I hope he has yours too. I salute Joey Huffman and Gaylon Mathews for their humbleness, talent and passion for music and life.

I want to extend a very special thank you to Carla Tatum for saving the day for me. Thank you beyond words!! I love you baby! Until next time my friends….

Sometimes life is funny by accident.

Something unexpected happens that cracks you up and you just have to tell the story again and again and again because it’s too funny to be true, but it IS true. Or sometimes, it’s something SO touching or cute you just have to share.

From Anna Junkins Taylor Tripp’s lyrics to We Will Rock You " you got blood on your face, you big fish face! Kickin’ your cat all over the place!

If you have a story like that, a true one, send it to us, preferably with a picture that goes with it and we’ll feature it here.

Send yours to: TheBestOfEBRJ@Gmail.com Haley Dotson posted this picture on her Facebook with the explanation that PawPaw's hair and eyebrows were painted green by Ella!

Ella is his granddaughter. She got hair mascara for her birthday and Pawpaw was her victim!

From Shellie Holloway McDaniel Now onto the snake story of the season. As I was leaving this morning, carrying a few bags of trash to take to the dump, I stepped off the brick walkway and when my heal landed down, I felt a flick of something on my heel; so as I looked down, I noticed I'm standing on a snake. Not a huge snake, but a snake nonetheless.

Now, without moving or expressing bodily fluids (if you know what I mean), I had a moment of clarity. "Thank you God, that I am "fat" today!" Cause Shellie did the fat lady twist all over that snakes head and crushed it.

Then she really did do the fat lady happy dance, cause she killed the snake. Little brown snake. Sometimes the reality hits that yes, we should be healthy people and for those who "pooh pooh" on overweight people....I say, bishaw!!!!! Say it with me "fat is good"!

Julia Lewallyn Ronan Dizzie is a blind Chihuahua who has his own Facebook page (www.facebook.com/groups/678822635470583/) His mama, Julia Lewallyn Ronan, keeps him happy and well-dressed and posts about all the good times he has with his sister Hollie. It is so sweet and fun. Aren’t they so adorable?!

From Kathi Hill When David and I married and I brought him up here to the mountains to live from Canton, he looked at me strangely after a meal with my family and asked, "Why is there apple something with every meal? Applesauce, apple jelly, fried apple pies, stewed apples, apple bread? What's with all the apples?" I told him you eat what you have!

From Julie Pritchett Little Grayson lead bedtime prayer tonight...

"Thank you for our body, bones... oh... and muscles" Me "What about your family?..." "and.. my family’s body and bones and muscles" No complaints~ it was better than his thank you the other night for his toys! Then I ask if there is anything else he is thankful for... and got a "and my friends toys"

From Tiffany Camp Watson Now this is love. One of Jake's favorite candy is Skittles. I thought he finished them off last night but this morning he ran to the fridge and came back with a handful of yellow skittles and said, "I saved these for you mommy. I know they are your favorite." Three year old love is just the best!

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he Last Catch Restaurant is tucked away in the back corner of Jasper’s Piggly Wiggly strip mall. It’s not real noticeable unless you know to look for it. We didn’t see it for a whole year of our work on covering restaurant reviews. Then one day, after we filled up our red box in that plaza, I caught a glimpse. “Hey Robb Honey, my friend Tina was talking about a great seafood restaurant in Jasper, I think that’s it!”

And even though it took us a while to notice, it is well known in Jasper and often crowded out the door. So if you are going at prime time and you have a large party ( 8 or more) you should call ahead for a reservation!

My Dad, Griz, was in town this week, and being an avid fisherman, he LOVES his seafood. Robb and I are very hard to please when it comes to a fish restaurant, because basically, we don’t like fish. We barely like anything in the seafood department. I like Maine Lobster, shrimp and snow crab, that’s about it. And Robb, well he’ll eat only shrimp or fish & chips. And if we are going to eat it, it better be TOP of the line. So while my Dad will eat it all, Robb & I have quite a limit to what we’ll order at a seafood place.

Let me start by saying, I liked LC from the parking lot. An adorable rustic wood building, sea theme decorated, but not overly so. One step in the front door and we met the friendly owners, Kim and Jim. Kim is the hostess, warm, talkative and accommodating. Jim is the chef, back in the kitchen, slaving away over a hot stove, and creating amazing dishes, BUT with a smile and a kind word for his customers.

We sat. We checked our surroundings, (spotlessly clean!) Read the menu, and found it to be loaded with originality. Our waitress, Mason, was sweet, down to earth and very accommodating. They serve wine and beer. And the beer they have is more then the normal everyday Budweiser. My Dad likes to try new beers where ever he goes and he had two different bottles that were out of the ordinary. (one had pecan flavor) Both brews were recommended by Kim, who says she likes to try different beers herself and that is how she picks them out to serve at her place.

Since Dad is the fish expert, I’ll let

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him tell you about his lightly blackened Catfish. Griz says, “It was a fillet, with no skin. It was excellent. The problem with getting fish at a restaurant is that it is often overcooked. This was cooked perfectly. I’ve eaten a lot of catfish, and this was the best catfish I’ve ever had.”

That’s quite a compliment coming from someone who is a fisherman and eats fish all the time!

I had snow crab legs. It was $19, as well it should be, for the huge amount of crab clusters I got, steamy and easy to crack open, with a melted smokey butter, and some red beans and rice ( with sausage), along with the BEST zucchini and yellow squash from the grill, that I had ever tasted! My dinner was so large that it came on TWO plates! See the plate of crab? See the plate of rice & beans & hush puppies & coleslaw?

Both of those are mine!

Robb ordered fried shrimp, and they were the big ones that you usually only get in a jumbo shrimp cocktail. REALLY big and lightly breaded, plus a baked potato. Did i forget to mention that we had some yummy hot she crab soup?

And some clam chowder? And some seafood dip with crackers for our appetizers? I don’t eat clams, or she crab, (what do they do with the He?), nor seafood dip. But you know what? I had such confidence in these people that I tasted everything. And okay so maybe I only ate the broth with the celery part, but it was DELICIOUS! My dad, who got to eat all the clams and crab in the soup thought it was amazing. All the soups are homemade.

Kim told us that on Friday and Saturday, Jim spices and cooks and serves the most amazing Prime Rib you have ever had. I believe her. We WILL be back for that. And we have to mention that Kim and Jim have bought a building and are currently working on it to move the restaurant to a bigger location right up on Church Street! The new Last Catch will be open sometime this summer. But until then, check out the corner of the Piggly Wiggly plaza for the best seafood in town! Two Forks up!

27 Burnt Mountain Rd Jasper, GA 706-692-0032 www.lastcatchseafood.com/

To read all of our “2 Forks Up” Restaurant Reviews just go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com/restaurant-reviews/

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s I sit here, thinking back on those long ago summers when I was a child. Things sure were a lot different back then. Now, let’s not worry so much about the number of years it has been, instead, let’s focus on the memories. I am sure many of the readers can relate to my childhood and those carefree days spent doing some really cool things that didn’t cost one red cent. Looking back, we didn’t have a lot of stuff but we thought we had everything we ever needed. Times were tough but we made due. I remember my dad swearing if the gas prices got over 50 cents he was gonna park his truck and not drive any more. He would complain, just like we do each time the prices went up. He would always threaten to stop driving but never would. Oh, and by the way, he did this every time the price went up.

My parents worked most every day so my sister and I would spend many of those summer days at our Uncle’s house just up the hill from our home. One of the best memories I have are those cold mornings before the sun was up, my dad would wrap me up in a huge quilt my aunt had made and carry me up the path to their house. I was all bundled up snug and warm, and knew my father was not going to let anything happen to us. He would lay me down on my uncle’s bed and give me a little kiss before he left.

Those days playing on what seemed like a gazillion acres still race through my thoughts from time to time. All it takes is a certain sound or maybe a certain smell and I’m right back out there on some secret mission or hiding as quiet as I could be, so my sister didn’t find me. Looking back, one of the most interesting people I ever met was on one of those hot summer days. My uncle called him “the goat man.” He had a small wagon pulled by some goats. Now I am not sure which one smelled the worst, the goats or the man! Either way, you could smell them about the same time you heard the bells on the goats ringing and long before they came into view. Anyone who had the good fortune to meet the goat man will understand what I’m talking about. I remember seeing him two or three times during those summers. My aunt gave me some food to take to him and I think he gave me a piece of candy for my troubles.

Vacations back then are not anything like they are now. There was never a lot of money to go around so any trips we took, usually involved visiting friends or distant family in some unknown town.

I remember one time my father was trying to buy a car. He almost backed out because the car came with air conditioning.

After the dealer and dad talked for what seemed like forever to a ten-year-old boy, dad made the deal and we drove home in our first new car. However, he refused to run the air conditioner because he said, “it would burn too much gas”.

I can count on one or two fingers, the times we actually stayed in a motel while on a trip. Dad said it cost too much and he would just keep driving until we got to our destination. And talk about fast food, we’d stop by some little grocery store and my mother would go in and buy a loaf of bread, some bologna, potato chips, and drinks.

That was our fast food, as we would eat, heading down the road.

Now, on occasion, in my father’s defense, he was known to stop and “get some Krystal’s.” He always amazed me how he knew where every Krystal was no matter where we were. That was one memory that I will always treasure. The last meal I bought for him before he passed away was from Krystal. Man did he love those little hamburgers!

Nowadays, everybody is rushing around to get as much vacationing crammed into that week off from work as they can. With so many things out there to do and see, we sometimes forget what it was like to sit on the porch and catch up on all the family news (gossip) or run around the dew-covered grass chasing lighting bugs. Seems like every night, we would have a jar full and use it as a night light when we went to sleep. Each morning, we would find the jar empty and cleaned, waiting for the next night’s adventure.

My mother could not swim. She would proudly inform anyone of this and more times, than I’d care to remember, she would tell me “you can’t get in the water till you learn how to swim!” I did ask her on occasion, how she expected us to learn how to swim without getting in the water. She never could provide a sound answer but since momma said, we did not press the issue further.

I remember my first trip to a beach to see the ocean. It was Jekyll Island. We left our house late Friday evening after dad got off work and he drove straight through until we arrived, promptly at three o’clock in the morning! We were so excited to be at the ocean. We could hear the waves breaking on the surf and could smell the salt in the air. But we could not see anything! Remember, it was three o’clock in the morning!

After much coaxing and with great hesitation, my sister and I laid down in the back seat of the car and faded off to sleep while

listening to the sounds of the beach and dreaming of what we would see when morning came.

When we woke up that morning, it was somewhat cloudy but we did not care. We stood in awe of the beauty and size of the ocean in front of us. I had seen pictures of the ocean and had even seen the ocean on television but this was different! This was here. Right here in front of us and it was ours! There were no mountains in sight.

Just sand and water, lots and lots of water.

I asked my mother if we could get in the water and to our surprise, she said yes.

However, not too far out, and stay right in front of them, and make sure they can see us, and listen for her to call us and anything else she could think of to calm herself down.

The water was cold but the sand felt so good. We splashed around and slowly worked up enough courage to venture out just a little deeper. I heard my mother call my name so I turned around to see what she wanted. Just as mom yelled, “that’s far enough” a wave, which seemed like it was thirty feet high, hit me in the back and drove me under the water. Man, that water sure didn’t taste like the water back home and that soft sand we had been walking on suddenly became razor sharp. I took a couple of memories home with me that day on my boney little knees and one on my elbow too.

Now that I am grown and have a family of my own, there are times I long for those quiet nights, sitting on a porch somewhere and chasing lightning bugs until I am too tired to move. Everything seems so hurried now. There are so many things out there trying to get your attention (and money) you seem so rushed and overwhelmed, no matter what you do.

With everything going on, we have to make every moment we can squeeze out together count. We are not going to get a second chance. We have to treasure every moment we are given and live it as best we can. Mamma always said, “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end you get, the faster it goes”! The kids are grown and gone before you know it, and all you have are the memories you have been able to make.

However, before you get all depressed and think about how fast your kids are growing and how the time is slipping away, just remember, the grandkids will be here soon and you can start all over making those memories again, and probably a few new ones. I have had friends say to me, “You sure were lucky growing up here in the North Georgia Mountains.” I just sit back on the porch, smile and think back to those carefree summer days and say, Yep!

It’s Deadline! We Ran Out Of Time..........

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We Ran Out Of Energy........ . . . . . . .

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s summer approaches, I’ve been thinking about growing up in Gravely Gap. For you newcomers, that’s where Highway 2 meets Highway 5. I loved summertime – no shoes, no school and the freedom to run around on our hundred acre farm. After I tired of roping the baby calves, I would seek out new adventures. In between, I was always watching my parents and grandparents do different chores on the farm. For those of you who didn’t suffer through chores and aren’t sure what they are, look it up on Google. One of the definitions is a duty or task you’re obligated to perform, often one that is unpleasant, but necessary. It goes on to say, a farmer’s daily routine, morning, and evening tasks.

I loved watching my mother hoe the garden. In no time at all she could go from one end of a bean row to the other, cutting down all the weeds and pulling fresh dirt around the young, vulnerable plants. To me, her finished row looked like a freshly painted portrait. Needless to say, I wanted with all my heart to learn how to do it just like she did. My mother was more than willing to teach me, as our garden had lots of rows of beans and corn upon which to practice. One thing I didn’t know was after she taught me the task to her satisfaction, hoeing the garden would become one of Raland’s chores. You need to know, I always felt like I was my Mamaw Patterson’s pet, so when I complained to her she smiled and said, “Buck, (she always called me that and it made me feel so special) watch what you ask for. You just might get it.”

The summer before starting high school, I felt like I was almost grown. On our farm we had a jersey milk cow. Mother did all the milking and she made it look so easy and always seemed to enjoy the task. When one of our cats or dogs would get close, she’d squirt the milk in their face. The cats loved it, but the dogs, not so much. My mother’s skills inspired me once again, but let me tell you, milking a cow is a lot harder than it looks. My hands cramped and tired very quickly, and summer was almost over before I was allowed to milk by myself. I was bound and determined to show her I could be trusted to do it. But once I succeeded, guess what?

Yep, I had another new chore.

As my wife Ann types this story, she said, “Here you go again.” I looked at her and asked, “Are you saying I’m a slow learner because it took me the whole summer to learn how?” “No,” she said, “I’m saying you were naïve that you didn’t figure out once she tricked you into learning the task it would become yours.”

My next naïve moment came when I was a private in the army. I cut my finger hooking up a trailer and when the bone refused to heal or knit, the army doctor amputated it. I’m not proud of this, but I was bitter and wanted someone to pay. I decided to take on the United States Army. I applied for helicopter school. My plan was that if they turned me down because I was missing my little finger, I’d sue them for disability. A few months later when I received my orders, I had a reason to remember what Mamaw had warned me about, “watch what you ask for”, because I was accepted into flight school.

Now that I’m old and have 20/20 hindsight, I’ve figured out Mamaw wasn’t giving me a warning, she was really giving me encouragement. To this day I still love to hoe a row of beans and look back over the freshly turned earth. Milking a cow morning and night throughout high school made my grip stronger than anyone I knew and that has been a blessing throughout my lifetime. Being a helicopter pilot was one of the highlights of my life and if I hadn’t lost my little finger I would have never experienced the satisfaction of flight. I close with something a very wise man once told me. He said, “People never desire something they can’t achieve. Their subconscious has told them to go for it!”

To read all of Raland’s Columns just go to www.TheBestOfEBRJ.com and type RALAND PATTERSON into the site search window.

And then..... We Ran Out Of Funny Quotes.

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“And In The End... The Love You Take, Is Equal To The Love... You Make.” - The Beatles