The Times of Smithtown - December 22, 2016 by TBR News Media

The Times of

smiThTown

Fort salonga east • kings park • smithtown • nesconset • st james • head oF the harbor • nissequogue • hauppauge • commack Vol. 29, No. 43

December 22, 2016

$1.00

Trotta takes on taxes Legislator wants cap on hidden fees in Suffolk budget

Holiday Memories special feature ALSO: New Year’s Eve events and Menorah lightings on the North Shore, review of ‘Rogue One’

Christmas comes early

Families in need go shopping for free gifts in Commack — story A4 & A5

Photo from Mallory Kerley

JOEY’S

PORT JEFFERSON’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT

SEAFOOD & PASTA SPECIALS FONDUE NIGHTLY

A Delicious Array of Chocolate & Cheeses! Great for First Date, Perfect for Girls Night Out, A Romantic Couple’s Evening, Graduation Parties, Bachelorette or Birthday Parties, Anniversary & Retirement Parties. ©144633

Full Kids Menu Wide Selection of Wine & Beers Specialty Martinis and Our Famous Sangria

“A Popular Breakfast Hot Spot on Main Street” - Newsday OPEN DAILY FOR • Breakfast • Lunch & Dinner • Dine-In or Take-Out

MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE

FONDUE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT

COME IN FOR BREAKFAST 7 DAYS A WEEK $5.00 DELIVERY FEE LOCAL AREAS ONLY

TRY OUR NEW FLAVOR PEANUT BUTTER/CHOCOLATE

217 MAIN STREET PORT JEFFERSON, NY • WWW.ZPITA.COM • 631.476.7510

2 BLOCKS FROM THE PORT JEFFERSON FERRY

PAGE A2 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • DECEMBER 22, 2016

SPECTACULAR GEMS worth dashing through the snow for... (if it snows) otherwise drive safely!

File photo

The Commack Branch is temporarily located at 6243 Jericho Turnpike in Commack.

Sapphires & Diamonds Ring set in 18k gold

Commack Library events

Rubies & Diamonds Ring set in 18k gold

Smarter Social Security

This class, taught by public accountant Daniel G. Mazzola, will provide a broad overview of the Social Security retirement program while examining in detail spousal and survivor benefits and ways to optimize them. This program is scheduled for Tuesday, Dec. 27 from 7 to 8 p.m. at the Commack Branch of The Smithtown Library. This is a free program, but registration is required. For more information, please call 631-360-2480, ext. 232.

Rubies & Diamonds Bracelet set in 18k gold

A R E P U TAT I O N B U I LT O N T R U S T

Anthony Bongiovanni Jr. G.I.A. Graduate Gemologist • A.G.S. Certiﬁed Gemologist Appraiser 137 Main Street (4 Doors East of Post Office)

631–744–4446

631–751–3751

Rocky Point

www.rockypointjewelers.com

Stony Brook

29 Rocky Point/Yaphank Road Suite 3, (Behind 7-Eleven)

One-on-One Medicare Counseling and Assistance

Register for an appointment to meet individually with a Suffolk County Retired Senior Volunteer Program volunteer from Health Insurance Information, Counseling & Assistance Program to answer questions and provide information specific to your own needs regarding your Medicare health insurances and benefits, Medicare Savings Programs and EPIC. This program is scheduled for Tuesday, Jan. 10, with appointment times at 10 a.m., 10:45 a.m., 11:30 a.m. or 12:15 p.m. at the Commack Branch of The Smithtown Library. This is a free program, but registration is required. For more information, please call 631-360-2480, ext. 235.

152169

DECEMBER 22, 2016 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A3

Leg. Trotta to create bill to limit county ‘backdoor taxes’ By Kevin Redding kevin@tbrnewspapers.com

County’s nearly $3 billion 2017 budget. Earlier in the year, he even called for Bellone’s resignation for his role in promoting former Suffolk County Legislator Rob Trotta Suffolk County Police Commissioner James (R-Fort Salonga) announced a “gift to tax- Burke, who pleaded guilty in February to payers” Dec. 19 in the form of legislation charges of civil rights violations. he plans to introduce to place a two perTrotta said, although the county execucent cap on county fees in an attempt to tive insists he’s frozen the county portion of end “horrifying” backdoor taxes. the tax bill, he’s really been increasing taxes “This is meant to wake the public up 100 percent by disguising them as fees and and let them know what’s going on,” Trotta “taking money out of our pockets.” said at the press conference. He called this a deceptive way of taxing The proposed bill comes in the public, and said response to a hike in fees in the ‘The reality is this, [the capping the fees, much Suffolk County budget for perlike Gov. Cuomo’s two mits, licenses, registration and fees] is one of the main percent property tax other services taxpayers have implemented for things driving people cap been struggling to pay for the last all New Yorkers in year, and would be the first of its off Long Island. We’ve 2011, will put an end kind to address this problem. to overspending from ruined our quality Some of the fees Trotta said legislators and county he is concerned with include a of life through these executives, and ideally, 100 percent increase in mortkeep people in Suffolk taxes and fees.’ gage fees, with a $200 raise in County as opposed to 2015 and $300 this year; a 95 — rob trotta moving out of state. percent raise in parking, traf“We don’t have a fic, and red light camera fees, money problem, we ranging from $80 to $155; and an alarm have a spending problem,” he said. “And registration fee, which charges homeown- the reality is this, [the fees] is one of the ers and businesses when the police are remain things driving people off Long Island. quired to respond to false alarms, plus the We’ve ruined our quality of life through renewal charge. these taxes and fees. People are fleeing Trotta has been one of the most vocal op- Suffolk. We have 17,000 pending forecloponents of Suffolk County Executive Steve sures and 2,300 abandoned houses, [and] Bellone (D) and his policies, recently be- we have to make drastic steps.” ing among seven who voted against Suffolk According to Trotta, companies aren’t

Photo by Kevin Redding

Legislator Rob Trotta speaks against the hidden fees in Suffolk’s budget. coming here anymore. “Why would they come here when a house costs $400,000 and the taxes are $12,000 a year, when they can go to North Carolina and buy a house for $200,000 and pay $1200 for taxes?” Smithtown Supervisor Pat Vecchio (R), who was personally invited to the conference by Trotta, said while he couldn’t comment on the legislator’s proposal, he could say that “fees should only be used for the administrative cost of providing the service.”

HEY.. .

CARPET • AREA RUGS • HARDWOOD • LAMINATE • VINYL HUNTER DOUGLAS WINDOW FASHIONS

Ou mat r child, inée s adm enior a issio nd ns a re

jus

Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for the New Year!

6.00

7.25

HOLIDAY COMBO $ LARGE POPCORN (value $3.50) LARGE CANDY BOX (value $2.75) ONE (1) LARGE SODA 32 oz. (value $2.75)

+ tax

Coupon Expires 1/31/17: TBR

Not to be combined with any other offer. While supplies last, limit 1 per person, per visit. It is unlawful to alter this coupon. No cash value. Coupon redemption cannot result in cash back.

1068 Rte 112 (1/2 mile south of Rte 347)

www.mypjcinemas.com

631–928–FILM Gift Certificates Available

LEGALS

shall mail copy of process to 1108 Route 110, Farmingdale, NY 11735. Purpose: any lawful activities. 653 12/15 6x ts

FROM ALL OF US AT CAPPY’S

(3456)

Lic # 18-817H.I. 144430

NOTICE OF FORMATION of 143F Realty, LLC Art. of Org filed Sec’y of State (SSNY) 8/4/16. Office location: Suffolk Co. SSNY designated as agent of LLC upon whom process against it may be served. SSNY

Trotta echoed his words. “Fees should not be used as substitute for taxes and that’s what this administration has been doing,” he said. The legislation won’t be introduced until Feb. 2017. “Every person in this county should make this a major issue. ... I want the people to know how their leaders are voting, how they’re raising their taxes and fees, and I want this to be resolved in a public vote on Election Day,” Trotta said.

631-473-2600 • 440 Main Street, Port Jefferson CappysCarpets.com • Mon.-Fri. 9-6 • Thurs. 9-8 • Sat. 9:30-5

PAGE A4 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • DECEMBER 22, 2016

Local nonprofits raise funds to let struggling families By Victoria Espinoza victoria@tbrnewspapers.com For a few families struggling to make ends meet this Christmas, local organizations got together to ensure there would be presents under the tree. United Way of Long Island, a nonprofit based in Deer Park, and Make it Count Foundation, a nonprofit based in West Islip, worked together to donate funds so that children and their families were able to search through Target in Commack and choose any gifts they wanted for Christmas this year. They were also given holiday treats as they shopped. Kids ran through the aisles of Target Dec. 14, browsing the Barbie dolls, Nerf guns, and other toys they could take home to make the holiday special. “Helping children in need is priceless,” Jon Reese, president of the Make It Count Foundation said in an email. “I feel it is not only our responsibility, it is an honor. Especially this time of year, when we celebrate life and hope.” Reese said Make It Count has worked with United Way of Long Island in the past on home renovations, health and community programs, and backpacks filled with school supplies. “We feel that when the Make It Count Foundation and the United Way of Long Island partner, we are able to leverage each other’s resources and make a greater impact,” he said. According to Theresa Regnante, president and CEO of United Way of Long Island, this is the second year the two nonprofits have joined together to organize the event. “We wanted these kids to be able to celebrate the holidays, and have the joy of opening gifts that they wanted,” she said in an email. “Jon Reese has been a fantastic partner in other areas of our mission, and coming together to help kids during the holiday season was a perfect fit. We have the connections to the partner agencies who work with families across Long Island, and they had the funds to donate to help them afford the gifts. It was an easy to decision to make to put this event together.” Families had to be nominated to partake in the event, and Regnante said other local nonprofits helped in the selection process.

photos from Mallory Kerley

above, a boy picks out christmas gifts at target in commack Dec. 14. at top, members of United Way of Long island hold a check for $3,000 for struggling families to get free seasonal gifts. 153559

DECEMBER 22, 2016 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A5

shop for free holiday presents at Target in Commack “We connected with Long Island Head Start, United Veterans Beacon House, and Family Service League, who are all partner agencies of ours, and asked them to nominate families who could use some extra holiday cheer to take part in the shopping spree, as well as families who are part of our VetsBuild and YouthBuild programs,” she said. “Target generously let us utilize their break room space and provided treats to the children before giving them a tour of the toy department. It was a fabulous effort all around.” Regnante shared what makes the event special to her. “The best part of an event like this is seeing the smiles on the children’s faces as they pick up that toy they’ve been asking for for months, and knowing that they can take it home that night,” she said. “You have to remember, most of these children have only the basic necessities and rarely do they have the opportunity to get things that bring them true joy. Their families are working hard to give them the best life possible, and this event allows those parents and guardians to brighten the holiday season just a bit more. The holiday season is supposed to be filled with happiness, but it isn’t that way for those who are struggling.” She said she watched a mother and her son go through the check-out line, and as they were walking out the door, he yelled out, “I feel like Christmas is here early!” as if

‘Families are working hard to give [their kids] the best life possible, and this event allows those parents and guardians to brighten the holiday season just a bit more.’ — Theresa regnanTe he couldn’t believe he was actually allowed to leave the store with his new toys. “Watching this little boy literally skip out the door warmed my heart,” she said.

Photos from Mallory Kerley

Inset and left, little girls pick out their Christmas gifts.

152720

PAGE A6 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • DECEMBER 22, 2016

Police

Man robs sub shop in Lake Grove By Victoria Espinoza victoria@tbrnewspapers.com Suffolk County Police arrested a man who robbed a Lake Grove restaurant Dec. 15 at 5 p.m. Officers said Craig Erick entered Subway, located at 781 Hawkins Ave., approached the counter, displayed a knife and demanded money from a store employee. When the victim hesitated, the suspect walked behind the counter and removed cash from the register. Erick then fled toward Smith Street. Aviation and Canine Section officers responded and located Erick at his residence a short distance from the scene. Fourth Squad detectives charged Erick, 26, of Lake Ronkonkoma, with first-degree robbery. Attorney information was not available. photo from scpD

craig Erick was arrested for robbery.

Police searching for man who robbed Commack store By Victoria Espinoza victoria@tbrnewspapers.com Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police 4th Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate a male who stole merchandise from a Commack store in November. Police said a man stole Beats headphones, valued at approximately $100, from Target, located at 4 Henry Street, Nov. 2 at approximately 4:40 p.m. Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward of up to $5,000 for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about this crime is asked to call anonymously to Crime Stoppers at 1-800-220-TIPS (8477). All calls will be kept confidential. photo from scpD

scpD searching for robbery suspect 152396

got an opinion? express it at tbrnewsmedia.com

DECEMBER 22, 2016 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A7

obituaries Florence Davis

Florence Davis, 87, of Smithtown, died Nov. 18. She was the beloved wife of Robert Davis Jr.; cherished mother of Robert Davis III (Theresa) and Scot (Judy); and loving grandmother of Carly, Emma, Hannah, Troy and Christine. She is survived by many other family members and friends. Arrangements were entrusted to Branch Funeral Home of Smithtown, where a religious service was celebrated. Interment followed at Calverton National Cemetery. An online guest book is available at www.branchfh.com.

Robert Kramer

Robert Kramer, 85, of Smithtown, died Dec. 2. He was the beloved husband of Jean; cherished father of Doreen (Bill), Donna (Ed), May and Daniel (Erin) Kramer; loving grandfather of Henry, Joey, Heather, Devin, Janie, Andrew, Daniel and Kevin; and dear greatgrandfather of Aubry. He is survived by many other family members and friends. Arrangements were entrusted to Branch Funeral Home of Smithtown. A funeral Mass was celebrated at St. Thomas of Canterbury Episcopal Church and interment followed at Holy Rood Cemetery. An online guest book is available at www.branchfh.com.

Louise Koke

Louise Koke, 85, of St. James, died Nov. 26. She was the beloved wife of the late Robert; cherished mother of Denise, Darcy, Dona Cowan, the late Robert, Danette, Joseph, Dorie Evans, Peter, Christopher, Gregory, Brian and Kama Wien; and loving grandmother of 22. She is survived by many other family members and friends. Arrangements were entrusted to Branch Funeral Home of Smithtown. A funeral Mass was celebrated at St. Patrick’s R.C. Church and interment followed at St. Patrick’s Cemetery. An online guest book is available at www.branchfh.com.

Walter J. Hilbert

Merle Spellman

Merle Spellman, of Smithtown, died Dec, 2, in his 67th year. He was the loving brother of the late Letha Mahoney; and dear friend of Sandra Phippard. Arrangements were made by Moloney’s Lake Funeral Home & Cremation Center in Lake Ronkonkoma. Cremation was private. An online guest book is available at www.moloneyfh.com.

Paul Reimers

Paul Reimers, of Nesconset, died Nov. 19 in his 48th year. He was the beloved husband of Maria; devoted father of Angelina and Viva; and loving brother of John. Arrangements were made by Moloney’s Lake Funeral Home & Cremation Center in Lake Ronkonkoma. Interment was at St. Charles Cemetery in Farmingdale. An online guest book is available at www.moloneyfh.com.

Augie Moronese

www.hawkinsanddavisfh.com.

Doris Masters

Doris Masters, 92, of Smithtown, died Dec, 3. She was the beloved wife of the late Frederick J. Masters Jr.; loving mother of Fred (Martha) and Ron (Anne); dear grandmother of seven; great-grandmother of 11; greatgreat-grandmother of two; caring sister of the late Norma Grauman and the late James (Frank) Murray; and sister-in-law of Dolores Whitehead. She is survived by many other family members and friends. Doris was a past executive vice president of Bank of Smithtown, past chairperson of National Association of Bank Women and past matron of Eastern Star. Arrangements were entrusted to Hawkins & Davis Funeral Home of Smithtown, where a religious service was celebrated. Interment followed at St. James Episcopal Cemetery. An online guest book is available at www.hawkinsanddavisfh.com.

loving father of Raymond (Ann), Richard (Loren) and Christine; and adored grandfather of Ryan and Gianna. He is survived by many other family members and friends. Arrangements were entrusted to Branch Funeral Home of Smithtown. A funeral Mass was celebrated at Sts. Philip & James R.C. Church and interment followed at St. James Episcopal Cemetery. An online guest book is available at www.branchfh.com.

Magdelina Pollizotto

Magdelina Pollizotto, 92, of Smithtown, died Nov. 21. She was the beloved wife of Vincent; cherished mother of Louis (Linda), Camille Dulisse and the late Martin (Nancy); loving grandmother of eight; and great-grandmother of 14. She is survived by many other family members and friends. Arrangements were entrusted to Hawkins & Davis Funeral Home of Smithtown. A religious service was celebrated at St. Thomas of Canterbury Episcopal Church and interment followed at St. Charles Cemetery. An online guest book is available at www.hawkinsanddavisfh.com.

Raymond Ebert

Raymond Ebert, 79, of Smithtown, died Nov. 22. He was the beloved husband of Rose;

Augie Moronese, of St. James, died Nov. 7, in his 76th year. He was the beloved husband of Ann; loving father of Nick; and dear brother of Nicholas, Marion Martino, the late Angelo, Vincenza Postler and Rose Syrek. Arrangements were made by Moloney’s Hauppauge Funeral Home. Interment was at Pinelawn Memorial Park in Farmingdale. An online guest book is available at www.moloneyfh.com.

PROOFREADER Times Beacon Record News Media needs part-time proofreaders to work in the Setauket office. Must be available days and/or evenings. Proofreading and computer experience a plus.

Edward Lennon

Edward Lennon, of Commack, died Dec. 5, in his 24th year. He was the beloved son of Edward and Yraisis; and loving brother of Alex, Carlos and Stephanie. Arrangements were made by Moloney’s Hauppauge Funeral Home. Interment was at Hauppauge Rural Cemetery in Hauppauge. An online guest book is available at www.moloneyfh.com.

Edward Mraz

Edward Mraz, 71, of Smithtown, died Dec. 9. He was the beloved husband of Marion; loving brother of Elizabeth Gasparino and the late Joseph Mraz; cherished son of the late Joseph and Vilma; dear brother-inlaw of Harold (Geraldine) Schultz, Agnes (Salvatore) Di Penta and Edward (Joanne) Schultz; and adored uncle of many nieces and nephews. Arrangements were entrusted to Hawkins & Davis Funeral Home of Smithtown. A funeral Mass was celebrated at Sts. Philip & James R.C. Church. Interment followed at Mount St. Mary’s Cemetery. An online guest book is available at

Walter J. Hilbert, of Nesconset, died Nov. 14, in his 51st year. He was the beloved husband of Diane; loving father of Jonathan and Brian (Allison); cherished son of Janice and the late Walter F.; dear brother of Joann, Janet

(Mark Howard-Flanders) and Judy Forker (Tom); dear brother-in-law of Geoff Reed (Katie); and devoted uncle of Colin, Paul, Julia, Matthew, Owen, Hunter and Chessie. Arrangements were made by Moloney’s Lake Funeral Home & Cremation Center in Lake Ronkonkoma. Cremation was private. An online guest book is available at www.moloneyfh.com.

PAGE A8 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • DECEMBER 22, 2016

153356

DECEMBER 22, 2016 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A9

SportS

Photos by Bill landon

Clockwise from above, the Kings Park cheerleading team performs different leaps and stunts while getting the crowd involved in the cheering during the Small School division i competition.

Kings Park squad solid despite struggling By Bill landon Kings Park’s cheerleading squad has been battling since opening day, when seven of the team members dropped out. And now the girls are struggling to stay healthy. The team took to the mat, competing for the top spot in Small School Division I against 10 other teams Dec. 18 at Comsewogue High School, and even with two members sidelined, the girls were able to stay solid through the two-and-a-half-minute performance in front of a near-capacity crowd. What has made matters more difficult is getting used to the differences between the Long Island Cheerleading Association and Section XI rule book and scoring sheet, since cheerleading has been recognized as a sport. “We had to change our routines and it’s a drastic change,” said Kings Park head coach Jennifer Ford. “Section XI caused us to fundamentally change how we do it.” Kings Park senior Alyssa Ambrosia, a two-year varsity starter, said she’s only known the new scoring system, so for her, that’s an advantage. “We’ve had to overcome a lot this season,” she said. “We were strong in stunting, but I think we can all improve on our tumbling.” The Kingsmen finished outside the Top 5, but four-year veteran Jamie Barbarino sees nothing but prospect. “I know that every single person on our team has potential,” she said. “We can be really, really good out there on the mat, but we need to get better with our [end of the routine] pyramid.” Senior Olivia Nicoletti has been cheer-

ing since ninth grade, and has seen the difference between the two scoring methods. “You have to do certain types of jumps, certain tumbling, and you do stunts differently,” Nicoletti said. “All the points are awarded differently in individual sections, so it’s much harder. We had some challenges today, [another] one of our girls got hurt, so we had to [animate] one stunt.” Kings Park looks to put on a better performance once they’re at full strength on Jan. 15 at Mount Sinai High School at 9:15 a.m.

PAGE A10 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • DECEMBER 22, 2016

OpiniOn

Letter to the editor

Editorial

File photo

A letter written by Sapphire Perera last week said holiday light decorations could disrupt plant photosynthesis; below Perera.

A thank you to our letter writers Last week, the editorial staff received a letter from a young student in one of our coverage areas. She wrote about the effects of constantly having lighted bulbs on trees during the holiday season can have on outdoor trees. Being able to publish this letter was one of the highlights of our week. When we were in middle school, our thoughts were preoccupied with sports, friends, relationships and whatever else was “in” at the time. If we had any extra time, it was likely not going to be dedicated to the environment or hometown paper. Of course now, as editors of local papers, we’d like nothing more than for students to feel passionately enough about anything to write their opinions in a letter to the editor. This letter put a smile on our faces. It made us feel proud of the residents in the areas we cover. We hope — and encourage — more young students to write in with their opinions of local, national and international news. The age-old saying “young people are the future” has not lost its veracity, and we take great pride in being able to offer all community members, including the youngest ones, the ability to have their voices heard. Of course, we don’t mean to “diss” the rest of our readers. We thank everyone who sent their opinions to us this year. A community paper is meant to be a reflection of the community it serves, and we enjoy being able to include as many opinions as possible from our community members. Thank you for keeping in touch with us in 2016. We look forward to continuing the partnership in 2017. Happy holidays!

Letters … We welcome your letters. They should be no longer

than 400 words and may be edited for length, libel, style and good taste. We do not publish anonymous letters. Please include a phone number and address for confirmation. Email letters to victoria@tbrnewspapers.com or mail them to The Times of Smithtown, P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733.

Stock photos

Dealing with the holiday blues As we are in the thick of the holiday season and busy celebrating, I want to reach out to those who are coping with grief. With good cheer all around, those who have suffered a loss may find their heartache to be accentuated and even feel unmotivated to participate in the usual holiday traditions. This lack of motivation may even lead to a sense of guilt, but be kind to yourself and consider some small steps that can be taken to honor your loved one as well as your emotions. The most important thing is to be patient with yourself. Grieving does not have an expiration date and often comes in waves. Remember that with time, you will get better at handling the holidays, but until then, permit yourself to mourn.

It is OK to communicate that you’re not in the holiday spirit when invited to dinners or parties; don’t worry about being a downer. If you are undecided, you can take your own transportation so you are free to leave at any time. Starting a new tradition is a wonderful way to remember your loved one; it is also a powerful healing activity. Perhaps continue a tradition that your loved looked forward to. Or, light a candle and ask everyone to tell a story about the deceased. This dedicated time will allow you and others to open up and share; tears will come, but it’s an instant elixir to heartache. The gift of giving is also powerful in lifting spirits and healing the heart. Make a donation or volunteer for a cause that relates

to the deceased. You can also buy a gift your loved one would have appreciated and present it to someone who would appreciated it as well. This will certainly bring you some joy. Lastly, find a way to express your emotions. Whether it is with a friend, family member or therapist; have someone you can lean on as you are grieving. Remember that you don’t have to always hold it all together; it’s OK to cry. If you are in need of bereavement counseling, you can contact the Suffolk Bereavement Center at 631-666-6873, ext. 200, or 631-666-6863.

County Legislator William Spencer Centerport

May the peace and love of the holidays be with you throughout the year. •

With warm regards, from all of us at Times Beacon Record News Media.

DECEMBER 22, 2016 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • PAGE A11

opinion Finding ways to beat the Trumpertime blues

’ve heard the phrase numerous times in the last month: What can I do? I’m so upset about X, Y or Trump and I don’t know what to do. In a world where news of any kind travels incredibly quickly across the globe, it seems that, like it or not, we know about events everywhere. Unfortunately, much of the news we hear about is horrible, filled with hate, anger, frustration, violence, bigotry, racism or other ugly isms. It’s hard to escape all that By Daniel Dunaief bad news when it slaps us across the face on the internet, when it comes at us with earnest energy from our TV reporters, and when it shouts from the front, back and everywhere in between

D. None of the above

pages of major national and international newspapers. I don’t think the answer to the question about how to deal with frustrations or anxieties should be to tune out or to become uninformed. We can’t and shouldn’t try to go back in time because information, much as it might irritate, scare or overwhelm us, allows us to make informed decisions and to remain vigilant about our values. To those who find the prospect of a Trump presidency terrifying, I suggest reading and understanding the Constitution. That incredibly important document which created our government guaranteed us inalienable rights. We can and should use them, either by speaking to our representatives or by sharing our concerns and observations with the world. Much as the future president might prefer that people not criticize him, we have the right to speak our minds, just as he has the responsibility to lead and represent the nation. Our system of government has at its core a system of checks and balances.

Sure, having one party in control of two branches of government — and potentially a third with Supreme Court Justice nominations coming down the road — seems daunting. Still, those representatives know they have to answer to the people for their actions, decisions and inactions. Trump clearly was an independent voice that became stronger through opposition. Other politicians who use that same playbook might also find favor with an electorate seeking an independent voice and a promise of success. OK, so, what else can we do? Well, we can make our own world a better place. Worried about the environment? Stop sitting at the train station, outside the school or at a track meet while idling your engine. I have waited at train stations for 10 or 15 minutes, in temperatures well below freezing, with my engine off. The car doesn’t get that cold. Besides, I’m dressed for the cold, so I don’t need constant heat. We can also encourage people to

disagree without shouting, bullying or berating. The internet has unleashed anonymous voices filled with rage, hate and criticism. We can suggest to our friends and to our children that they can disagree without needing to resort to ad hominem attacks. We can also do what teachers, coaches and parents focus on every day. We can be role models and examples for our children, our nieces and nephews, and our grandchildren. We can take an extra moment to make someone feel better, to give someone the tools for self-expression, or to learn to laugh at himself or herself. We can’t fix the world by snapping our fingers or by wanting things to be different. We can, however, take small steps to make our communities happier, safer and more welcoming. As we prepare to make those New Year’s resolutions, let’s include smaller ideas that reflect who we are. If we feel we need to do something, we can and should, whether that’s reading the Constitution or giving someone else a hand, even after the holidays.

A holiday memory: moving forward on the ski slopes

y husband and the father of our three sons died 29 years ago just before the holidays. After the funeral and the well-wishers had gone, we went back to our routine lives, my sons to their schools and I to the newspaper, doing the things we were supposed to be doing but in a kind of trance. Our shock and grief made us sleepwalk each By Leah S. Dunaief through day, numb to the world. Elsewhere in the newspaper, in the Arts & Lifestyles section, you can find a selection of most vivid memories at holiday time, and they are well worth reading. When asked for mine, my thoughts instantly returned to that dismal time, and I offer them now in the spirit of the letter written to us by county Legislator William “Doc”

Between you and me

Spencer on the opposite page. Perhaps our experience can be of some help for those dealing, at this time of public gaiety, with grievous loss. My sons were on Christmas break, I had a few days off from work, and as we sat around my husband’s empty chair at the breakfast table, hollow-eyed and lifeless, I got what seemed to be an outrageous idea. “Let’s go skiing,” I said, “up to Vermont.” My children suddenly focused. “When?” “Now. Right now,” I answered, caught up in some kind of frenzy. “Go pack and we’ll stay for a few days at our favorite inn.” “Can we afford it?” one of them asked. “Yes!” I lied, thinking of my credit card. “Yes we can. Now go. We’ll leave as soon as you are ready. I’ll call ahead and make the reservation.” “Without dad?” “Yes, without dad. This is something he would want us to do.” And so we went, inviting the young woman who was to become

TIMES BEacon rEcord nEWS MEdIa

We welcome letters, photographs, comments and story ideas. Send your items to P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733 or email to victoria@tbrnewspapers.com. Times Beacon Record Newspapers are published every Thursday. Subscription $49/year • 631-751-7744 www.tbrnewsmedia.com • Contents copyright 2016

my oldest son’s wife a couple of years later to join us. Now for those of you who don’t ski, I can tell you that it takes your full concentration to navigate a slope, especially in the east, where sections of the trail can unexpectedly have turned to ice. Moguls, rocks, tree roots all have to be avoided, as well as other skiers and snowboarders. The air is frigid, but we are not cold because we are exercising strenuously and are wearing protective layers of insulated clothing. The sky is deep blue on a perfect ski day, and we seemed to have lucked out with the weather that week. The view from the mountaintop is fantastic, with fallen snow resting lushly on the limbs of the evergreens just below the crest. We ski in a line, perhaps my oldest son in the lead and I bringing up the rear as we snake our way down, the only sound the swoosh of our skis against the snow as we turn left then right to break our speed. We meet at the bottom, exhilarated from the exercise and the fresh air, and join the lift line to go back up and

EDITOR AND PUBLISHER Leah S. Dunaief GENERAL MANAGER Johness Kuisel MANAGING EDITOR Desirée Keegan EDITOR Victoria Espinoza

LEISURE EDITOR Heidi Sutton SPORTS EDITOR Desirée Keegan ASSOCIATE EDITOR Ellen Recker ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Kathryn Mandracchia

do it again. And again. Our muscles rejoice, although they will later pay a price for the unexpected movement. But by then we are in a hot Jacuzzi, pampering each ache before ravenously devouring dinner. We laugh about the day’s individual incidents, the spills, the almost-spills, the gravity defying leaps off the edge of the biggest moguls. I look around at my family, enjoying their animated conversation. We are together and we are alive. For the moment, it feels wonderful, pushing away the grief. That is the way we will move forward now, tightening the circle. Later there will be tears, coming in gushes at unexpected times, triggered by small reminders, by birthdays and holidays and by nothing at all. Slowly we will become emotionally unfrozen, no longer zombies, our minds finally accepting the new order. With our memories, we will move on because there is no other choice. And we have. But that bittersweet ski trip, so outlandish an idea then, remains forever in my heart.

ART AND PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Beth Heller Mason INTERNET STRATEGY DIRECTOR Rob Alfano

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTOR Ellen Segal BUSINESS MANAGER Sandi Gross CREDIT MANAGER Diane Wattecamps CIRCULATION MANAGER Courtney Biondo

153064

PAGE A12 • TIMES OF SMITHTOWN • DECEMBER 22, 2016