The Village Beacon Record - December 1, 2022

Shoreham-Wading River senior Sophie Costello drives the lane in a home game against Center Moriches. Photo by Bill Landon

NAfME honors for Rocky

Point senior

Rocky Point High School senior Vivian Dorr was selected for the 2023 National Association for Music Education AllEastern Honor Band.

In April, Vivian will have

the opportunity to rehearse and perform with students from NAfME’s Eastern Division, including New England and Northeastern states, Washington, D.C., and Europe. The AllEastern rehearsals and performances will take place from Apr. 13-16, 2023.

“This is an incredible accomplishment,” music teacher Amy Schecher said. “Vivian is a very talented young trombonist and an excellent student. She continues to impress me with her dedication to her academics, music and athletics.”

The Wading River School’s Student Council Food Drive was a resounding success.

Hundreds of pounds of donated nonperishable food items were delivered to local food pantries to help families in need this

holiday season.

Teachers and student council advisers Kerryann DeMauro, Kellie McGuire, and student council members organized and distributed the donations.

A N I E L P L O S Q U A D R O , S U P E R I N T E N D E N T O F H I G H W A Y S , I N V I T E S Y O U T O T H E

Rocky Point High School principal Jonathan Hart, senior Vivian Dorr and music teacher Amy Schecher. Photo courtesy RPSD

Wading River School’s Student Council members with advisers Kerryann DeMauro (back, right) and Kellie McGuire (back, left). Photo courtesy SWRCSD

Shoreham-Wading River students hold a successful food drive

Councilman LaValle and Di Santo go head-tohead in Brookhaven clerk special election

BY RAYMOND JANIS EDITOR1@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

In a race to fill former Brookhaven Town Clerk Donna Lent’s (I) seat, Town of Brookhaven Councilman Kevin LaValle (R-Selden) will square off against community advocate Lisa Di Santo, of East Patchogue.

Lent announced her retirement last month, vacating her seat and triggering a special election for her expired term ending in 2025. [See story, “Brookhaven’s town clerk retires from public service,” TBR News Media, Nov. 24.]

Both candidates were chosen unanimously by their respective parties during separate nominating conferences last week. In phone interviews with TBR News Media, the candidates discussed their professional backgrounds, reasons for pursuing the office of clerk and plans for the future.

Before entering elected office, LaValle, a lifelong Brookhaven resident, owned a title agency, assisting prospective homebuyers with vital records, such as liens, deeds and similar documents. He then transitioned into the mortgage business, where he still works today.

In 2013, LaValle campaigned successfully to represent Brookhaven’s 3rd Council District, an office he has held ever since.

“Why I’m making this run for town clerk, I think it’s [because] we see in the paper every day with what just happened with Suffolk County, the hack that happened,” he said. “You can see very clearly that that’s something we don’t want to happen in Brookhaven. Managing people’s personal records is critical to our county and our township.”

Di Santo is a 50-year resident of Brookhaven whose background is in community advocacy. Before running for office, she was a social studies teacher, served as vice president of the Bellport Area Community Action Committee, and for over a decade was a trustee on the South Country Central School District Board of Education.

In her interview, she emphasized the need for citizens to have a stake in their local government and connect to the democratic process.

“When looking at the way the town functions, the town clerk plays a very important role in the accessibility of good government, accountability of good government and the security that’s necessary in good government,” she said. “In all of those three areas, I currently see that the town fails miserably.”

The Democratic candidate added, “I’m running because I do believe wholeheartedly that the town clerk, especially now, needs to be an independent person and an independent voice to

be certain that there is truly open government in Brookhaven Town.”

For LaValle, the protection of residents’ sensitive information is paramount. Like Di Santo’s proposal, he said he intends to promote efficiency and expand resident access to their records and to the office of clerk.

“We have to make sure records are secure, but we want to increase access,” the town councilman said. “We want to be able to have people with disabilities not have to come up to Town Hall to get handicap parking passes, and what have you.”

He added, “We have to increase our internet capabilities to be able to service residents’ needs without making them have to come to Town Hall. And certainly, we have to work to increase the transparency within the government.”

LaValle contends that town clerk is a technically demanding position to learn and to hold. However, he maintains that his professional training within the public and private sector have prepared him in unique ways for the demands of the office.

“I believe that I have the ability and the experience to be able to do this job effectively, managing an over-30-person staff, and making sure residents are taken care of as we move forward,” he said.

On the whole, Di Santo viewed Brookhaven as failing in its obligations to promote open government. She cited the Freedom of Information Law request process as needing reform.

“You’d be hard to find an individual who has taken the time to participate in Brookhaven Town government who would tell you that the FOIL process is one of accessibility and accountability, and there’s a serious problem there,” she said. “If a citizen, a taxpayer, can’t access information, then how can the government represent those people?”

Di Santo said her campaign rests on the notion that quality governance requires informed and engaged citizenship. Given her advocacy background, she considered herself uniquely suited to this task.

If elected, Di Santo said she intends to begin by reforming the scheduling of open meetings to bolster public participation.

“When government continues to schedule meetings that are inaccessible to people, they’re sending a message that they do not want to have a democracy,” she said. “You can’t have a democracy without the participation of the people.”

Brookhaven residents will get the final word on these two candidates during a townwide special election on Tuesday, Jan. 17.

Pictured above, Lisa Di Santo and Town of Brookhaven Councilman Kevin LaValle (R-Selden). Left from Di Santo’s Facebook page; right from the town website

American Flags should be retired if they are –

Torn and tattered beyond repair

Sun-bleached or extremely faded Your flag will be retired in the most patriotic and respectful way possible; by being placed and cremated with a veteran who has bravely served our great nation.

Miller Place School District gives thanks through Thanksgiving food drives

The Miller Place School District lent a helping hand ahead of this Thanksgiving by hosting a series of food drives at various schools.

Students at Miller Place High School collected 800 canned and packaged goods through a Thanksgiving food drive hosted by the National Honor Society. Students collected canned soup, vegetables, cranberry sauce, stuffing, muffin mix, potatoes and grocery gift cards. The food was distributed to families in need throughout the community. Additional items will be donated to local food pantries.

At North Country Road Middle School, the student government sponsors a yearlong food drive to stock the North Country Road Middle School food pantry. Each Thanksgiving, the donations are used to create Thanksgiving meal packages that they distribute to families throughout Miller Place and Sound Beach.

Laddie A. Decker Sound Beach School’s School Improvement Team (S.I.T.) Committee, run by assistant principal Nicole Farley and fifth grade students, “adopted” seven families in need in the Miller Place and Sound Beach communities. The students brought in items to put together a complete Thanksgiving meal for each family.

Andrew Muller Primary School held a food drive where students donated goods and supermarket gift cards and distributed them to local families in need ahead of the holiday. The school’s hallways were lined with boxes labeled accordingly for students to place their donations. In addition, a local catering business donated fresh turkey for families in need.

For more information about the Miller Place School District, visit the website at: www.millerplace.k12.ny.us.

Above, the School Improvement Team (S.I.T.) Committee at Laddie A. Decker Sound Beach School donated Thanksgiving meals to seven families in need throughout the community. Below, Andrew Muller Primary School held a food drive in which students donated goods and supermarket gift cards. Photo courtesy MPSD

CAUGHT ON CAMERA

Wanted for South Setauket Petit Larceny

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Sixth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate the man who stole allegedly stole merchandise from Target, located at 255 Pond Path in South Setauket on Sept. 3 at approximately 9 p.m.

Commack man suffers medical emergency, drives off dock

Suffolk County Police Homicide Squad detectives are investigating an incident during which a man died after driving his vehicle into the water in Bay Shore on Nov. 22. Robert Lancaster was operating a Nissan Rogue at the Maple Avenue dock when he suffered an apparent medical emergency and drove into the water at approximately 6:50 a.m. Lancaster, 39, of Commack, was pulled from the water and pronounced dead at the scene. Detectives are asking anyone with information on this incident to call the Homicide Squad at 631-852-6392.

CAUGHT ON CAMERA

Wanted for Selden Petit Larceny

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers and Suffolk County Police Sixth Precinct Crime Section officers are seeking the public’s help to identify and locate the man who allegedly stole merchandise from Target, located at 307 Independence Plaza in Selden, on Nov. 13 at approximately 9:20 p.m. The items stolen had a value of $370.

Tires and rims stolen from King O’Rourke Cadillac in Smithtown

Just released! Suffolk County Crime Stoppers is seeking the public’s help in finding the three men who police said stole tires and rims in Smithtown in September. Three men stole eight sets of tires and rims from two 2022 Cadillacs at King O’Rourke Cadillac, at 756 Smithtown Bypass in Smithtown, between 12:30 and 1 a.m. on Sept. 5, police said. The property was valued at approximately $9,600, police said. The trio is wanted for grand larceny.

Suffolk County Crime Stoppers offers a cash reward for information that leads to an arrest. Anyone with information about these incidents can contact Suffolk County Crime Stoppers to submit an anonymous tip by calling 1-800-220-TIPS.

The following incidents have been reported by Suffolk County Police:

Do you recognize this man? Photo from SCPD

— COMPILED BY HEIDI SUTTON

Do you recognize this man? Photo from SCPD

Small Business Saturday offers vital support for local downtowns

BY RITA J. EGAN & RAYMOND JANIS RITA@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM; EDITOR1@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

Residents of communities throughout the area came out on Saturday, Nov. 26, to support local downtowns during Small Business Saturday.

Small Business Saturday was a campaign first developed by American Express in 2010. Martin Cantor, director of the Long Island Center for Socio-Economic Policy, detailed the history and purpose of this effort.

“Because everybody was focusing on Black Friday, American Express wanted to focus on small businesses,” he said.

Mary Joy Pipe, owner of The East End Shirt Company and president of the Greater Port Jefferson Chamber of Commerce, described this year’s iteration of Small Business Saturday as a success. She forecasts a favorable holiday season for the small business community this year based on the turnout.

“Am I optimistic about how I did on Small Business Saturday and over that weekend, and that things should go well?” she said. “Yes.”

The success of these business initiatives, according to Pipe, is primarily contingent upon the weather. She characterized the clear skies on Friday and Saturday as fortunate for the business community.

Tandy Jeckel, owner of TandyWear in Commack, said Small Business Saturday was similar to last year saleswise but that Black Friday was better.

Black Friday “was major,” she said. “We beat last year. Small Business Saturday was pretty much the same as last year.”

Confronting difficult times

While some storefront owners saw favorable returns over the weekend, others discussed the several factors working against their businesses. Among these are nationwide economic instability and inflation, soaring prices and hardships related to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Jeckel said her business did well during the pandemic by making masks to match outfits and so drawing in customers. She added she had noticed customers opting for dressier outfits where people were looking for more comfortable loungewear for a while.

Joe Schwab, co-owner of Schwab’s 2nd Wind in East Setauket, said he didn’t experience an increase in traffic on Small Business Saturday. He said that the special shopping days did not necessarily boost sales, even though Black Friday was better this year than it has been in years past.

“I would love to have a big excitement about shopping days again, but for the time being it seems to be a bit lost or fizzled out,” he said.

Cantor maintains that the broader economic trends are squeezing small businesses and local downtowns. Ballooning costs associated with energy prices, rents and wages are making it harder for small businesses to stay profitable. At the same time, consumers have less discretionary income and, therefore, less

to spend in these downtown settings.

“Right now, small businesses are caught between trying to recoup the high rents, energy costs and things like that,” he said. “And then they’re running into the competition and the fact that consumers don’t have the money to spend.”

Competing with big businesses

Inflation and other economic pressures are driving consumers to try to stretch their dollars, Cantor said. This is adding even greater strain on small businesses compared to big businesses.

“The reality is that these big businesses can buy goods and services at much cheaper prices, and consumers are certainly looking for bargains,” he said.

Despite this popular narrative, Patty Kaczmarczyk, owner of Cheese & Spice Market in Wading River, insists that her prices are competitive and often outperform her larger competitors.

“People sometimes feel, ‘I’m going to go to the supermarket where I can get things cheaper there,’ but now that’s not so true,” she said. “I’m a small business, so I’m trying not to kill people in pricing to stay very competitive. That’s my goal.”

Contrasting the business models of large and small businesses, Kaczmarczyk said smaller stores are better adapted to meet the needs of consumers. Whereas large retailers emphasize bulk purchases, she said small vendors allow for smaller, often cheaper orders.

“I carry so many loose spices, which are way cheaper than buying them in a grocery store,” she said. “I sell it loose, and you can buy smaller amounts.” Maximizing these advantages, she suggests, can keep small businesses afloat while competing against their larger counterparts.

Susannah Meinersman, owner of Huntington-based Bon Bons Chocolatier, said the store has been busy in general, which she attributes to making a great product. Meinersman said she appreciates Small Business Saturday: “I think the day brings awareness to the small Main Street business, so that’s a good thing.”

Giving back to the community

David Wolmetz is co-owner of Urban Air Adventure Park in Lake Grove. He described the small business sector as an extension of the greater community. Through various interactions of small businesses with community members, he said these businesses foster a greater sense of local cohesion.

“It’s not only about money for us,” he said. “It’s about connecting to the community.”

For example, Wolmetz sits on the board of the Stony Brook Cancer Center Community Advisory Council. Maintaining connections between small businesses and other local institutions is crucial, Wolmetz said, for community prosperity.

“We look for them: Girl Scouts, Boys Scouts, anything that’s related to our demographic of a youth, family oriented connection,” he said. “I’m very familiar with that connection, and that’s my reason for having the business.”

This connection will be imperative as businesses transition into the post-pandemic era. For Suzanne McEnroe, owner of This n’ That Gifts in St. James, the turnout on Saturday was encouraging.

She said she appreciates resident support as the business owner opened the gift store in February 2020, just a few weeks before the COVID-19 shutdowns. She is grateful to be open.

In general, she noticed a difference in business this year with more people out shopping. “They love to have a town shop to be able to just come and get a quick gift,” she said.

A critical juncture

While Small Business Saturday primarily targets the retail and service sectors, Long Island’s regional economy consists of small businesses across many other industries.

John Hill is the founder and CEO of the Long Island Advancement of Small Business, an organization committed to the growth and development of small businesses that do not interface with customers, such as financial planners, bankers and IT service providers, among others.

Hill contends that these small businesses are struggling, too. “They’re not growing, they’re not failing, they’re just eking out a living right now,” he said.

Given the high living costs on Long Island, Hill sees more small business owners closing up shop and heading to more affordable regions in the country, a startling trend for Long Island’s regional economy.

“We’ve had four people leave our organization to move off of Long Island,” he said. “Two moved to Florida, one to North Carolina and one to Tennessee.”

To stay afloat, Cantor suggests business owners will soon have to find creative ways to attract consumers to downtown areas while eliminating operating expenses.

“Businesses are at a critical juncture,” he said, noting that Small Business Saturday is “super.” He added, “We want all these small businesses to survive, and it’s great that Long Islanders are coming out to the downtowns to shop on Small Business Saturday. But they have to continue to do it.”

Rising energy prices, rents and wages are all applying greater pressure on small business owners. Pictured above, storefronts in downtown Port Jefferson. File photo by Julianne Mosher

Wildcats too much for Center Moriches

BY BILL LANDON DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM

to go. They’ll face Sachem East, Newfield and William Floyd before league play begins.

Moriches

SPORTS

Center Moriches sputtered against the swarming defense of Shoreham-Wading River during a non-league basketball game on Monday, Nov. 28.

The Wildcats took a 14-point lead by halftime. Seniors Sophie Costello topped the scoring chart for the Wildcats with 17 points, GraceAnn Leonard banked 13 and Colleen Ohrtman netted 8 in the 50-31 home victory.

The Wildcats notched their second win in as many games with three more non-league contests

The Wildcats open their league season on Tuesday, Dec. 13, when they host Hampton Bays at 4:30 p.m.

Pictured clockwise from above: ShorehamWading River sophomore Haylie Abrams looks for the rebound; senior Kelsey Hughes shoots; Shoreham-Wading River senior GraceAnn Leonard lays up for two; and senior Annie Sheehan looks for a rebound in a home game against Center Moriches.

— Photos by Bill Landon

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Talking trash: Rethinking local control over solid waste disposal

Here on Long Island, local governments have been historically responsible for treating and disposing of solid waste. This dynamic is no longer workable.

Managing waste is among the most crucial functions of government. Without these services, untreated garbage would threaten the health and safety of our residents and endanger our local environment.

However, treating solid waste entails ever-increasing costs to dispose of the trash and keep up with the fast-paced regulatory climate. Those costs will only compound in the years to come.

In Port Jefferson, the village government is engaged in a messy permit dispute with the New York Department of Environmental Conservation over a small landfill it uses for branch and leaf pickup services. New DEC regulations targeting landfills have impacted Port Jeff’s kettle hole, entangling this small village in a much broader regulatory conflict.

The controversy may be affecting Port Jeff right now, but it will soon involve nearly every community on Long Island. Plans are underway to close the Brookhaven Town Landfill by 2024, which serves the entire region, precipitating a garbage crisis here on Long Island.

From these examples we are learning that solid waste treatment is not merely a local policy concern. It is integrated within a much larger context, affecting neighboring communities, regions and states.

Solid waste landfills, where much of our garbage is stored, are also significant emitters of greenhouse gases. These facilities may soon be prime targets for oversight and regulation under plans to curb the effects of climate change.

At TBR News Media, we are committed to the premise that local government is closest and, therefore, most accountable to the people. Local control gives residents a stake in what goes on within their community’s boundaries. But garbage is blind to these political distinctions and its hazardous effects often cross over these lines, impacting our neighbors. The problem is too grand for any one municipality to handle on its own.

Effective waste management is an increasingly regional, national and even global phenomenon. The situation calls for a coordinated and efficient response from these higher tiers of government.

Sustaining local control over waste management will soon come with a crippling price tag for municipalities and taxpayers alike. State and federal regulators will place heavy restrictions on the operators of solid waste landfills — local governments — passing the burden of cost and regulatory compliance onto these smaller governments.

Over time, municipalities will have to devote more resources and staff to their garbage, eating away at their budgets and diverting vital funds from other local programs and constituent services. All of this runs counter to the original idea of local autonomy.

Now is the right time for local governments to evaluate their involvement in waste management. Municipalities should seriously consider transitioning these duties to higher levels of government — such as counties or the state — with oversight from regional planning councils composed of delegates from our communities.

A consolidated waste management apparatus could be more efficient and less restrictive for small governments, freeing up money and attention for local matters within their control.

At the individual level, we must also take steps to limit our impact on landfills. On Long Island, we don’t even have reliable measures of recycling rates, let alone a plan to bring those levels up. Furthermore, many ordinary household items have the potential for reuse. Residents should take advantage of special recycling events that assign these items a reuse value.

While policymakers work out the nuances of an integrated waste management hierarchy, we can do our part to limit our contribution to solid waste landfills. These complex problems may find meaningful solutions if governments and citizens act responsibly.

Letters to the Editor

The hypocrisy of Martha’s Vineyard

Martha’s Vineyard is a mostly white, progressive and liberal island, frequented by some of America’s richest and most powerful people. On Sept. 14, 50 Venezuelan asylum seekers landed on this beautiful island. They were greeted warmly, provided everything needed to be comfortable and sustain themselves, as well as being provided with Spanish translators by the local high school students who were taking Spanish. However, from the time they arrived, plans were already in the works to hastily remove them from the island in less than 44 hours. For the residential islanders who claim to embrace, love and accept everyone from all walks of life their act of hypocrisy was unjustifiable, but seemingly appropriate for these year-round residents enacting their modus operandi.

First off, as far as housing, there were a multitude of empty rooms available in hotels, B&Bs, etc., since this was the beginning of off season for recreational visitors. Secondly, Martha’s Vineyard offers Wheels on Meals to those in need of nutritious and healthy food. Thirdly, Martha’s Vineyard has what is called the WIC program (women, infants and children), which offers free nutrition programs, healthy foods, nutrition education, breastfeeding support and other necessary programs to make their lives on the island sustainable. Thirdly, as far as employment, the Indeed jobsite at that time had the following jobs available: line cooks, gatekeepers, housemaids, babysitters, drivers, dishwashers, cleaning associates, delivery drivers, gardeners, kennel assistants, etc.

These people are coming here with their families to provide a better life for themselves. Certainly, the islanders of Martha’s Vineyard could have been a little more creative and helpful in assisting these asylum seekers with opportunities. By that I mean accepting them and assimilating them into their community with passion and opportunity.

I truly hope this is not a generic personification of others, whether they be Republicans, Democrats, general progressives or those actually affiliated with the Suffolk progressive group and liberals who talk out of both side of their mouths, so they fit in and are admired by others in their club’s ideology.

America has always been a melting pot of immigrants. That is what made

us so great. There is nothing wrong with being vetted and coming and living in this country legally. Many of our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents followed this path and flourished on their own as well as with help from others. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Just do it right and not senselessly, as we have seen on Martha’s Vineyard.

WRITE TO US … We welcome your letters. They should be no longer than 400 words and may be edited for length, libel, style and good taste. We do not publish anonymous letters. Please include a phone number and address for confirmation. Email letters to: editor1@tbrnewsmedia.com or mail them to TBR News Media, P.O. Box 707, Setauket, NY 11733

and thus should be allocated a greater share of these resources.

Rhoda Angelier Coram

Falsehoods that need to be corrected

A letter by Richard Esopa, “New York’s destructive elected leadership,” appeared recently in this newspaper [Nov. 24] containing quite a number of serious falsehoods which need to be corrected. These include:

New York has the highest crime rate by state. False. The five states with the highest crime rates in the United States (2022) are: District of Columbia, New Mexico, Louisiana, Colorado and South Carolina. New York has the 42nd highest crime rate, between Michigan and West Virginia (source: World Population Review).

New York has the highest murder rate by state (related to first claim). False. The five states with the highest murder rate (2022) are: Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Missouri and Arkansas. New York state has the 34th highest murder rate (source: World Population Review).

New York City has the highest violent crime rate of any major city. False. The five major U.S. cities that have the highest violent crime rates are: Memphis, Detroit, Cleveland, Kansas City and Milwaukee (source: www.populationu.com based on FBI statistics). New York City is not on the list of most dangerous cities.

Criminals are being released with no bail. False. Unless we want to throw out the Sixth Amendment to the Constitution, as well as centuries of established common law, simply being arrested does not make one a “criminal.”

Prosecutors and district attorneys are refusing to charge criminals. False. Prosecutors always have to make choices about how to allocate finite resources and about which crimes are most damaging to society at large

Gun laws affect only law-abiding citizens. False. Many guns used in homicides were purchased legally by “law-abiding citizens.” This includes Adam Lanza’s mom (Sandy Hook) and Ethan Crumbley’s parents (Michigan), the Uvalde, Texas, and Buffalo mass shooters, as well as Gregory and Travis McMichael (Georgia) who no doubt seemed to be very “law abiding.” So, too, was Stephen Paddock, who shot and killed 60 people and wounded at least 413 in Las Vegas. Those who shoot and kill people may be “lawabiding citizens” until they’re not.

We have quite enough of this kind of misinformation circulating through social media and openly partisan broadcasts and newspapers without propagating it further.

And here’s an opinion: New York state no more needs to be “saved” by U.S. Rep. Lee Zeldin [R-NY1] than the United States needs to be saved by former President Donald Trump [R].

Friedman St. James

County comptroller thanks electorate

I write to thank all the voters who came out this 2022 election cycle and exercised the most important duty of our American democracy, the casting of votes. I am humbled and honored to be returned to the office of comptroller for a third term. The confidence that the electorate has placed in my ability to serve as Suffolk County’s chief fiscal officer is reassuring as we pursue a course of continued improved financial efficacy, as well as continuing to aggressively perform audits to stamp out fraud, waste and abuse.

As always, my office stands ready to assist. Please call at 631-853-5040, and do not hesitate to report concerns to the comptroller’s fraud hotline at 631-853-5018, or email fraudhotline@ suffolkcountyny.gov.

John M. Kennedy Jr. Suffolk County Comptroller

The opinions of columnists and letter writers are their own. They do not speak for the newspaper.

David

Dropping unwanted baggage makes it easier to move ahead

As we reach the beginning of December, we are only a month away from the inevitable promises to shed unwanted pounds.

Today, however, only a few days after our journeys to visit friends and families for Thanksgiving, I’d like to urge you to consider shedding unwanted baggage.

answer on which we received no credit.

Some of that baggage is constructive, giving us the tools and the memory to learn from our mistakes and to have a perspective on the things that happen to us.

mindlessly eat and a dedication to exercise.

But how do we get rid of the emotional baggage that gets in our way? What do we do to move forward when the burdens around us weigh us down?

Believing the best about ourselves is difficult.

We might, for example, learn to cope with losses on the athletic field more gracefully when recalling how we felt the time we shouted at a coach, an umpire or an opposing player. Days, weeks, or years later, we might realize that we have the tools and the distance to understand the moment better and to develop a grace we might not have possessed when we were younger.

For starters, we might learn to forgive people for whatever they did that annoys or puts us down. Forgiveness isn’t easy, of course. We sometimes hold onto those slights as if they are a part of our identity, becoming a doctor to show our biology teacher who didn’t believe in us that we are capable and competent or developing into a trained athlete after a neighbor insulted us.

We also don’t, and won’t, always win. It’s easier to carry the memories of the times we failed a test or when we didn’t reach the top of the mountain on a hike. Carrying those setbacks around with us for anything other than motivation to try again or to go further than we did before makes it harder to succeed.

D. None of the above

BY DANIEL DUNAIEF

Metaphorically, we all lug unwanted baggage with us — remembering the spot where a girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with us; the moment we decided to substitute the wrong player in a game we were coaching; and the time our teacher gave someone else partial credit for the same

Extending the baggage metaphor, it seems that the more we carry with us everywhere, the harder it is to move forward. Baggage, like those unwanted pounds that make it harder to hike up a hill or to climb stairs, keeps us in place, preventing us from improving and moving forward.

Shedding pounds, which isn’t so easy itself, has a prescribed collection of patterns, often involving an attention to the foods we might

Tormented by letters and numbers

Holding onto those insults gives other people unnecessary power over us. We can and should set and achieve our goals because of what we want and not because we continue to overcome limits other people tried to set for us.

We also might feel weighed down by our own self-doubt. As I’ve told my children, their peers and many of their teammates, we shouldn’t help our competitors beat us.

Now is the time to set down that baggage, to walk, jog or even run forward, unencumbered by everything that might make us doubt ourselves and our abilities and that might make it harder to achieve our goals. While all that baggage might feel familiar in our hands, it also digs into our palms, twists our fingers and slows our feet.

Even before we resolve to eat better, to exercise, to lose weight and to look our best, let’s check or even cast aside our emotional and psychological luggage. Maybe dropping that baggage in the last month of the year will make achieving and keeping our New Year’s resolutions that much easier.

LEAH S. DUNAIEF

Here are three of my most feared words: what’s your password? I understand that passwords were designed to keep out the unwelcome in any digital circumstance. Early passwords worked for ATM machines. After all, we didn’t want anyone else to be able to get our money, right? OK, so that was four numbers that we could remember, certainly easier than committing our social security number to memory, for example. Not any longer do we enjoy such brevity. Now we are asked to use eight or 10 numbers and letters, the combinations of which must contain capitals, lower case, numbers and some other vital symbol, like an asterisk or a dollar sign or an

exclamation point. And we are admonished not to use the same password twice for fear of opening the gates to financial ruination. I would bet the fact is, though, that the only person kept at bay by the request for the password is the password holder who has forgotten the sacred assemblage of letters, numbers and pound signs.

Further, needing the password makes no sense since the frequently asked question, “Forgot your password? Press here to make another,” often allows anyone to bypass the gate anyway. All the intruder has to do is come up with a new password, and they are in.

Some passwords are useful. Certainly, we don’t want just anyone to access our banking records if we bank online. And if we pay for a service, like a subscription to a newspaper, we don’t want an undesignated person to share it. But some of the pass requirements are just plain stupid. Who else but me cares how many steps I walk per day? Or how much sleep I averaged over the past week?? Or how much I weigh? Almost as soon as I apply for an app, I have to select a password to use it,

even though the app is free.

Passwords are just one irritant of the digital age, however. As long as I am voicing my frustrations, let’s consider telephones and what has become of what was a perfectly helpful way to enter in conversation with another human. Just try to call an airline or an insurance company and see how long you are put on hold. Sometimes they will tell you that the operator will be with you in 28 minutes and ask if you would like them to hold your place in line and call you back. That’s civilized. Or the automated voice will try to shove you off to their website. But you cannot ask questions of a home page beyond the couple of programmed Q&As posted there.

When you finally get a person on the other end, after pressing any number of buttons, they will ask you to hold for the correct extension, which will ring and ring and finally disconnect you. Then you have to start all over.

I recognize that there is an attempt to have a paperless world. I understand that

companies are feeling pressured financially and are trying to cut down on personnel. But does the world have to get there by driving us to distraction first? Some technology is actually helpful. Instead of a password, some apps ask for fingerprint ID. Once you register with your thumb or whichever finger you choose, you need only to present that finger in the future, and you are immediately admitted. Why isn’t that more commonly used to authenticate the user? Or ask a personal question as the price of admission only the user would be able to answer, like the name of your junior high school or your first pet’s name. Sometimes I am asked two or three questions like that, but only after I have already offered my password. And usually it’s my mother’s maiden name, which by itself used to work but no longer. Not complicated enough, I guess.

One friend figured she had solved the password problem by putting all her passwords into one file on her cellphone. Only trouble? She has forgotten the file’s password.