The Village Times Herald - June 18, 2020

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VILLAGE TIMES HERALD

S TO N Y B R O O K • O L D F I E L D • S T R O N G’S N E C K • S E TAU K E T • E A S T S E TAU K E T • S O U T H S E TAU K E T • P O Q U OT T • S TO N Y B R O O K U N I V E R S I T Y

Vol. 45, No. 17

June 18, 2020

$1.00 JULIANNE MOSHER

School District Tallies Votes Results were unavailable at press time. Visit www.tbrnewsmedia.com for updates as they come in

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Three Village Chamber Says ‘We’re Open!’

BY JULIANNE MOSHER

Members from the Three Village Chamber of Commerce want the community to know that they are open and ready to serve. Last week, with Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) giving the green light for shops on Long Island to open their doors during Phase 2, the chamber wants to assure everyone that these small businesses are taking the extra precautions in the wake of the pandemic. “They are providing gloves to customers and employees, taking temperatures, wearing masks and making sure masks are enforced,” said Jane Taylor, executive director of the chamber. “They’re being

careful about social distancing and encouraging sidewalk sales or outdoor dining where available.” Overseeing small businesses in Setauket, Stony Brook, East Setauket and Old Field, Taylor said that supporting local establishments during these trying times is beneficial to everyone. “These businesses are our neighbors and friends,” she said. “They’re the ones who are the backbone of our communities.” Charlie Lefkowitz, president of the chamber, said that shopping small businesses benefits the economic growth of Long Island. “It supports our local economy and keeps our great community vibrant,” he said.

Although the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the New York State Department of Health have a new set of guidelines that do not allow more than a designated number of customers in at a time, as well as no indoor dining as of yet, Lefkowitz is encouraging people to partake in what the Three Village area has to offer. “If it’s done in a safe, social distanced manner by both the owner and the public, I support it strongly,” he said. His favorite spot? The Three Village Inn’s outdoor seating section. “It was outstanding,” he said. “We’re supporting our neighbors and the service was unparalleled.”

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PAGE A2 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • JUNE 18, 2020

Thank You

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During these difficult times, tips to reduce anxiety:

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• Practice deep breathing and relaxation • Meditate • Connect with friends and family by telephone or online • Use visualization & guided imagery • Exercise, try to take a walk • Distract yourself by setting small goals • Mindfulness

REMEMBER TO KEEP SOCIAL DISTANCING AND THAT THIS WILL END If you would like a confidential, compassionate professional person to talk to,I am a psychotherapist working with adults, couples and families who are dealing with anxiety, depression, bereavement and trauma.

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Local Tick Expert Shares Advice as Residents Begin to Venture Outdoors BY DAVID LUCES DLUCES@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM With summer close by and as New York State continues to relax shutdown restrictions, residents will naturally want to get some fresh air. But while open spaces like parks and nature preserves provide a temporary reprieve from the COVID-19 pandemic, they are also home to ticks. These arachnids can carry Lyme disease and other serious tick-borne illnesses. Experts say this is the time when ticks are most active and when their numbers increase. “We have already passed a month of tick activity here on Long Island,” said Jorge Benach, distinguished Toll professor of Molecular Genetics & Microbiology and Pathology at the Renaissance School of Medicine, Stony Brook University. “With minimal contact because people were staying indoors due to the pandemic, we have seen less cases.” Benach said that could change in the coming summer months, especially with an already large tick count this year. Currently, we are entering the second phase of tick season, which is when the arachnids are in the nymph stage and are harder to spot. “For some reason Long Island has a heavy population of ticks,” Benach said. “It has the perfect environment for them and they really thrive.” Three species of ticks call Long Island home. The deer tick can carry Lyme disease, anaplasmosis and other illnesses, while American dog tick can carry Rocky Mountain spotted fever. The lone star tick can transmit tularemia and ehrlichiosis. “The lone star tick, we believe, is the most aggressive of the three species, and we didn’t know it existed until 1980,” the distinguished

professor said. “And then it somehow found its way to Long Island.” A 2019 study, headed by Benach and Rafal Tokarz, assistant professor of epidemiology at Columbia University, with co-authors from SBU and Columbia, found prevalence of multiple agents capable of causing human disease that are present in three species of ticks in Long Island. Another concern this season is that tick-borne illnesses like Lyme disease and anaplasmosis have symptoms that overlap with those of COVID-19, including fever, muscle aches and respiratory failure, but without persistent coughing. “It is true that they have overlap in the initial symptoms, but once you get past that first stage it should be easier to diagnose if that person has a tick-borne illness,” Benach said. Tick-borne diseases are usually treated with antibiotics. The effects range from mild symptoms that can be treated at home to severe infections that if left untreated can lead to death in rare cases. The distinguished professor stressed the need for people to be aware of ticks when they are in certain areas outdoors. Repellents and wearing long-sleeve pants and shirts can be good deterrents for ticks. Other tips include walking along the center of trails, washing and drying clothing when you come home and keeping pets from areas that could be tick infested. Benach said there is a misconception that humans get ticks from dogs. Instead, it is more likely one gets a tick from being in the same space as your dog. “You should be checking yourself, and if you spot a tick get it off as soon as possible,” he said. “If you develop any symptoms or illness contact your doctor.”

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PAGE A4 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • JUNE 18, 2020

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JUNE 18, 2020 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • PAGE A5

County

Business Owners Take Precautions as State Continues to Open in Phases BY RITA J. EGAN RITA@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM From restaurants to retail stores to hair salons and barbers, business owners are all dealing with the same thing — how to open their doors while keeping their employees and customers safe. Last Wednesday, June 10, Long Island entered Phase 2 of New York Forward. This phase allows restaurants to offer outdoor dining, stores to permit a limited number of customers inside and for hairdressers and barbers to finally open up shop again. Marios Patatinis, who owns Sweet Mama’s in Northport and Stony Brook, said being able to offer outdoor dining on the restaurants’ patios has been helpful to increase business. He also bought The Bench Bar and Grill across from the Stony Brook train station right before the mandatory shutdowns. At this location he said outdoor dining is available in the parking lot, and he has been able to start renovations on the building. The restaurant owner said he was happy to see customers able to stay, sit and enjoy their meals. “Everyone is eager to get out of their own house and come out to eat again,” he said. “It’s nice to see people come out and socialize and mingle a bit.” Patatinis said employees both in the front and back of the establishments are required to wear masks. Anyone who has direct contact with food will also wear gloves. Like other businesses, cleaning will be done more frequently, hand sanitizers will be made available for customers and one-time use menus will be handed out.

Patatinis said he’s looking forward to Phase 3, which will allow restaurants to offer indoor dining as long as occupancy stays at 50 percent or less than usual. During the pandemic and mandatory shutdowns, he said he was grateful that he was able to offer curbside takeout service to his customers. “When you build a clientele, they become family,” he said. Hairdressers have also been taking measures to serve customers while taking extra precautions, following guidelines from New York State. At Capelli hair salon in Nesconset, owned by Maria LaMariana, in addition to more cleaning protocols, when clients arrive they must text their hairdresser as the waiting room is temporarily closed. All customers and staff members wear behind-the-ear face masks, and clients have their temperature taken at the door and put on a disposable cape. The number of patrons in the salon is also limited, and people are asked not to bring anyone with them during their visit. LaMariana said she also has customers fill out a form to verify that they aren’t sick and also to provide their phone number. The owner said this way if they get a call that anyone tested positive for the coronavirus, they will be able to contact quickly others that were in the salon that same day. She said at first reopening was overwhelming, comparing it to going back to school, and she said she cried a couple of times. The owner, who has been cutting hair for 50 years, was nervous that customers would challenge why certain things were being done, but only one person gave her a problem.

Capelli Salon in Nesconset is reducing the number of people who can be in the salon at one time, above. Sweet Mama’s in Stony Brook, below, and other restaurants can now offer outdoor dining. Photos by Rita J. Egan

“I’m happy that people are very allowed at 25 percent capacity. Customers and cooperative,” she said. “They come in, they employees must maintain social distancing and clean their hands, we take their temperature, wear a mask. and they fill out the form.” “People have been so respectful of each For the time being, other and giving each other LaMariana said she will be space shopping,” she said. “I working seven days a week to think people are just generally catch up for the time lost during excited to get out and enjoy the the pandemic and the limited store, and get back to normal capacity she is working with life.” now. It was emotional to see her Employees have been regulars again, she added, and busy sanitizing and cleaning one customer even left flowers commonly touched surfaces, outside the door the first day of such as door handles, keypads the reopening. and phones, Mertens said. “I never felt so important in —Marios Patatinis The stores are also making my life,” she said. “I felt more hand sanitizer available to important than a surgeon.” customers and even selling Carolynn Mertens, director masks. Clothes that are tried of stores and buyer for Madison’s Niche in Stony on in the dressing room will be quarantined by Brook Village Center, Sayville, Huntington keeping them on a rack for a few days before and Garden City, said during the pandemic they are returned to the sales floor. the store’s website was a big help where both Despite all the changes, she said it’s been regular customers and new ones across the wonderful seeing the customers again. country purchased items. Once Phase 1 began “When we reopened, it felt like Christmas,” and stores were able to offer curbside service, Mertens said. “It was so energetic and lively.” Mertens said many customers ordered online She said the staff was happy to hear many and then picked up the merchandise themselves. customers missed coming to the store, and “But nothing compares to losing three reopening day was a successful one. months of in-store business, you can never make “It was a beautiful day,” she said. “We had that up,” she said. the doors open. We had the music pumping. It Mertens said in-store shopping is now was like a rebirth.”

‘It’s nice to see people come out and socialize and mingle a bit.’

PAGE A6 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • JUNE 18, 2020

Obituaries

Claire Nicolas White, Iconic Figure of the LI Arts Community Claire Nicolas White, born June 18,1925, in Groet, Netherlands, died May 26 in St. James.. A woman of vast and varied talents, she was a poet, writer and teacher of ballet, French and writing. Daughter of stained-glass painter Joep Nicolas and sculptor Suzanne Nys, Claire spent her early childhood in the Netherlands and a convent school in France. When she was 14, her parents fled the Nazi menace. Her father had a commission to paint a mural in Rockefeller Center, New York, where the family felt at home in a European community of exiled artists and writers. Claire and her younger sister, Sylvia, attended the Lycée Français with the children and grandchildren of other refugees. When she’d arrived in New York, Claire spoke Dutch and French. By the time she graduated from Smith College, she’d fallen in love with English. In the poem, “Marriage II,” she wrote: But English I wed for better or worse, my reality, my daily companion. In 1946, Claire, with her mother, sister and fiancé, drove to California to visit her mother’s sister, Maria, and her husband, writer Aldous Huxley. In a 2017 interview, Claire said that her famous uncle had encouraged her to follow her chosen path. After graduating from Smith College, she married Robert White, renowned sculptor and a grandson of the architect Stanford White. Speaking of the primacy of art in their relationship, Claire said, in that same interview, “Life is chaos; art is necessary to organize it.” Claire and Bobby had four children. Their oldest, Sebastian, became a physicist; Stephanie, a dancer; and Christian, a painter. Claire’s youngest child, Natalie, died in a car accident when she was only 17. Claire also had six grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. Until her last days, her close family, including many nieces and nephews, was a continual source of joy. She took pride in the way Sylvia and her son, Diego, have carried on the stainedglass legacy of the Nicolas family. Because of family connections and her

schooling, Claire was accustomed to meeting famous people. She wrote opera libretti for Vittorio Rieti, the composer, a great friend and the father of the artist Fabio Rieti, her Lycée classmate. Cartier-Bresson photographed her as a young woman. She took silent walks with the Indian writer and philosopher, Krishnamurti, who taught her how to concentrate on each step. Through Rieti, she met Igor Stravinsky and introduced him to Aldous Huxley. Through Stravinsky, she met the great choreographer, George Balanchine. When Bobby won a Prix de Rome, the couple befriended the writer William Styron and his wife in Italy. And yet Claire was not drawn to the limelight. She was fond of quoting the line in Emily Dickinson, “I’m Nobody! Who are you?” Putting down roots in St. James, she created an astonishing legacy, producing poems, libretti, plays, essays, memoirs, novels, art criticism (Art News, Newsday) and translations of Dutch and French literature. She mentored students of all ages at the Walt Whitman birthplace, in schools all over Long Island and in nursing homes. At Taproot Workshops & Journals, a nonprofit that encourages senior citizens to write in all genres, Claire was, according to its executive director, Enid Graf (in a letter to The New York Times,1995), “One of the organization’s finest teachers.” Claire was also the first editor of Oberon Poetry Magazine, founded in 2002 and still published by the Oberon Foundation. She wrote into her 90s, both poetry and prose. Writer Orel Protopopescu, like many others in Claire’s orbit, considered her a mentor as well as a friend: “Until late last year, she was well enough to meet with our writing group weekly and would surprise us with unexpected turns of phrase, and a wry wit that was inimitably hers. Poems came to her with the regularity of dreams. There is a short poem called “The Tower” in which Claire describes an old wooden water tower close to her house. Its concluding lines encapsulate her philosophy of life:” When life is flat I tower it with a view

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Some of Claire White’s publications:

Claire Nicolas White in 1963. Photo by Mathieu Koch

of the infinite. In 2006, Claire donated her work to Stony Brook University Special Collections & Archives. Open to researchers without restriction, the collection comprises 10 cubic feet of newspaper clippings, articles, manuscripts, journals, notebooks, correspondence and published works from 1944 to 2006. Reading the titles in this collection, not all listed below, made me dizzy. I had thought that I knew her, but now I see I only had a glimpse. Claire was an extraordinary woman, complex and not always easy. She had a powerful impact on the lives of all of us privileged to know her, work with her, live a part of our lives with her and to love her.

James Newcomb Jr.

James A. Newcomb Jr. died on May 24. He was 96. Jim was born Oct. 9, 1923, next to the Ferry Dock in Port Jefferson in a building that housed the family automobile business, Newcomb Brothers Garage. One of Jim’s first jobs was to climb to the top of the cupola roof each morning and evening to raise and lower the flag that could be seen in the town and from the harbor. Later he became the parts manager for the business, memorizing parts numbers and automobile types. Even in his 90s, he had a unique ability to remember numbers. He joined the Port Jefferson Fire Department when

Poetry in reviews and anthologies: The New Yorker, Partisan Review, Grand Street, Atlantic Monthly, Witness, Confrontation, The Paris Review, Long Island Quarterly, Paumanok, Poems and Pictures of Long Island and A Taste of Poetry (Walt Whitman Birthplace Association). Translations: “The Time of Our Lives (Journal d’une petite fille)” by Martine Rouchaud, 1946 (with Louise Varèse); “The Assault” by Harry Mulisch, 1985 (Pantheon Books, 1985 Honorable mention, PEN Translation prize); “A Night in May (La Nuit de mai)” by Alfred de Musset, 1989; “A Letter of Time” by Hans van de Waarsenburg in 1989; “The Vanishing” by Tim Krabbé, 1993; and “My Father’s War: A Novel” by Adriaan van Dis, 1996. Selected books, poetry and prose: “The Death of the Orange Trees” (Harper and Row, 1963), a novel; “Joep Nicolas, leven en werk” (life and work) (Van Spijk, 1979); “Biography and Other Poems” (Doubleday, 1981); “Fragments of Stained Glass” (Mercury House, 1981), a memoir (Spanish tr. “Mosaico de Una Vida,” Sabina Editorial, 2017); “The Bridge” (Cross Cultural Communications, 1987); “River Boy,” 1988 (ed.); “Stanford White: Letters to His Family” (Rizzoli,1997); “The Elephant and the Rose” (The Vineyard Press, 2003), a memoir’; and poetry collections: “Riding at Anchor” (Waterline Books, 1994); “News from Home” (Birnham Woods Graphics, 1998); and since 2004: “Elusive Harbors” (poetry), “An Armful of Time, Snapshots” (memoir), “Ernestine” (novella), “Robert White, Sculptor,” “The Land of the Smiths” (2014) and “Five Generations Painting with Light” (2019). Submitted by Kathy Donnelly with contributions from poets and writers.

he was 18 and never left, becoming the oldest member of the fire department with over 75 years of service. For many years he served as secretary of the fire department’s benevolent association and secretary of the North Shore Fireman’s Association. A proud man that took any job given to him very seriously. We will miss his jovial laugh and contagious smile. His dedication to the fire department was inspiring. James is survived by his brother-in-law, Henry S. Ryon; nephews Chris (Karin) and Tom (Ikuko) Ryon; grandnieces Linnea (Bryan), Emma (Zach) and Anna (Sam); and great-grandniece Kiki.

JUNE 18, 2020 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • PAGE A7

Village

Students Join North Country Peace Group on Setauket Corner

Local teens have been adding their voices to weekly rallies in Setauket. Every Saturday morning, drivers can count on the grassroots activist North Country Peace Group on the corner of Route 25A and Bennetts Road and the North Country Patriots across the street. For three weeks now, Three Village school district students and their friends have joined the Peace Group to protest police brutality and call for justice and equality, joining forces with Black Lives Matter groups across the country. Myrna Gordon, of the North Country Peace Group, said she is proud of the young people and happy that they have joined them. She said one week more than a dozen joined them, but two weeks ago more than 250 protesters stood on the corner, and this past Saturday, there were more than 150 rallying. She said there was no advertising about any

themed protests. “I think they know that our corner is such an important part of our community, and they know that we have been there for issues of peace and justice, and all of a sudden said this is where we’re going.” She called the students “truly inspirational and a credit to their generation.” “They are amazing young people, and they are going to carry the baton through all of this,” she said. During the teenagers’ visits to the corner, they crossed over to the Patriots’ side (upper left photo), Gordon said, and continued to display their Black Lives Matter signs. Gordon has been part of protests since the 1960s, and she said sometimes movements die out quickly, but she had advice to the young people to stay the course. “They need to be tenacious,” she said. “They need to be vigilant. They need to vote.” — Top left photo by Anne Chimelis; all others by Myrna Gordon

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PAGE A8 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • JUNE 18, 2020

History Close at Hand

Hart Family History Remembered in Historical Society Collection BY BEVERLY C. TYLER DESK@TBRNEWSMEDIA.COM In the many years before his death in 1931, Jacob Hart was a familiar figure in Setauket, especially around the millpond where he lived with his wife Hannah and their children. Hart was born in March of 1857. As a young man, following the end of the Civil War, he signed on as a cook, probably on local coasting schooners carrying cargo and occasional passengers around Long Island Sound and up and down the Atlantic coast. Hart followed the sea for a time but the start of a series of depressions in 1873 may have ended his career as a ship’s cook. Two years later Hart married 19-year-old Hannah Eliza Taylor, who at the young age of 14, arrived in Port Jefferson from her home in Virginia. She had been sent north by her father to escape a “nasty-mean” stepmother as told by her daughter Lucy Hart Keyes. “Her father said, ‘I’ll send you somewheres where you can get your education and you’ll be treated nice.’” Despite the recessions, the opening of the rubber factory in Setauket gave Hart the opportunity to have employment close to

Lucy Hart Keyes, outside her home, with oral historian Patricia Fai Walker during 1988 Eel Catching project, above. Photos from Three Village Historical Society collection

home. Work at the five-story, former piano factory, however, was not easy nor did it provide steady employment for Hart or the other local men, women and children who

worked there. The rubber factory opened, closed, reorganized and failed frequently, so less skilled workers like Hart found themselves unemployed one month and working 11-hour

days, six days a week the next month. By the time the rubber factory opened in 1877, on what became known as Chicken Hill, Hart and Hannah’s first two children, Daniel and Rebecca, had been born. Regarded as one of the best workmen at the factory on Chicken Hill, Hart worked there until the factory closed for the last time, probably in June of 1898. Hart and his family lived most of their married life in a Cape Cod-style house at the intersection of Lake and Main streets in Setauket close by the stream that becomes the Setauket Mill Pond after it passes under Christian Avenue. Their daughter Lucy, born in February 1899, spoke about growing up in Setauket. “Papa always had pigs. We raised chickens, we had ducks . . . Papa had a garden and he always raised his own potatoes, cabbage, yellow turnips, a lot of white beans, and then we had what you call samp. That was a Long Island dish, everybody ate it.” Lucy also talked about how her father used his boat to keep the stream behind the house and the ponds clear of debris. “Papa loved that pond and he loved them people and he kept it cleared out.” In the first HART CONTINUED ON A9

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JUNE 18, 2020 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • PAGE A9

HART

Continued from A8 decades of the 20th century Jacob Hart, like many local “day laborers” (1900 census), had many jobs and he was well-known and well-liked around town. The story of Hart’s wife, Hannah Eliza Taylor Hart, and her trip back to her first home in Virginia, was told by Lucy Hart Keyes as a part of the Eel Catching oral history project by Professor Glenda Dickerson and her SUNY/Stony Brook University students in 1988. Lucy remembered, “I wish I could remember the name of that minister. He came to Setauket to preach and Mama was telling him she never knew after her mother. She was sold from her. This minister got in touch with different people and he found Mama’s mother . . . and Mama was married then, had several children. Papa got enough money together and she went down to Richmond to her mother. She stayed down with her, I guess a whole month. She said, ‘after my mother was sold from my father she married another man and had all these other children.’ And her father married again and he had children by another woman. But she never found her father, he died.” Lucy, when she was six or seven, used to stop at the Tyler post office and general store on her way home from school on the Setauket Village Green. “They were such

nice ladies. Miss Annie took care of the mail ... Miss Corinne took care of the store. Momma and Papa bought all their groceries there. We bought canned goods, salt pork, potatoes, bread and even bananas in later years. We were a big family and we was always down there. Sometimes Papa paid once a week. They kept track of it and I could get anything. They never asked no questions, ... There was a glass case in the store which contained a number of selections of sweets. You would get four or five round things for a penny. jaw breakers, three or four for a penny; and stick candy was a penny a stick.” Lucy Hart Keyes’ remembrances are a part of the collection of the Three Village Historical Society. The home she grew up in no longer exists, but it was the subject of a three-year archaeological dig that will continue to provide clues to the life of one Setauket African American family. The daybook from the Tyler General Store featuring entries for Jacob Hart and his family will be featured in the last Founders Day virtual video exploration of the Town of Brookhaven’s Original Settlement June 22 on the Three Village Historical Society website www.tvhs.org. Beverly C. Tyler is a Three Village Historical Society historian and author of books available from the society at 93 North Country Road, Setauket. For more information, call 631-751-3730 or visit www.tvhs.org.

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Clean-Ups

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JUNE 18, 2020 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • PAGE A13

SERV ICES

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WORTH PAINTING “PAINTING WITH PRIDE� Interiors/exteriors. Staining & deck restoration, power-washing, wallpaper removal, sheetrocktape/spackling, carpentry/trimwork. Lead paint certified. References. Free estimates. Lic./Ins. SINCE 1989 Ryan Southworth. See Display Ad. 631-331-5556

Tree Work ARBOR-VISTA TREE CARE A COMPLETE TREE CARE SERVICE devoted to the care of trees. Maintenance pruning, water-view work, sun-trimming, elevating, pool areas, storm thinning, large tree removal, stump grinding. Wood chips. Lic#18902HI. Free estimates. 631-246-5377

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PAGE A18 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • JUNE 18, 2020

Editorial Letters to the Editor Cheers To Fathers and More State Senator Says Thank You to Constituents TBR News Media editorial staff share memories of their dads and other special people for Father’s Day.

Rita Egan — Editor

As someone whose parents separated when she was 9 years old and moved in with her grandparents, I’m an example of a village raising a child. From an early age, I realized that relatives and even friends’ parents can play a role in a young person’s life. I was fortunate that my new friends and their parents made my transition to life in Smithtown an easier one. There were the Irvolinos, the D’Agostinos, Mrs. Naseem, and later in high school, the Juans, the DeNobregas and the Castros who always made me feel welcome in their homes, even at family gatherings. I frequently was in the Irvolinos’ pool and on their boat. The D’Agostinos introduced me to the beauty of Head of the River and would take me with the family to the Jersey Shore. And of course, there were the rides many parents gave me when it was too dark for my grandfather to drive. One day on Fire Island, my friend Nancy and I were knocked down by a huge wave. One second I’m hitting my head against something hard, and the next I was grabbed out of the water by Mr. Irvolino. He had me in his right hand and Nancy in his left. I will be forever grateful for my village. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads and a belated Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, too.

Kyle Barr — Editor

When my parents call me on the weekend, we can go through the platitudes of normal life: How is your job, how’s Long Island, how’s your brother? Dad, you can make comments about how I continue to leave my room a FEMA-designated disaster area. You can talk about my habits of leaving my clothing in the laundry bin after washing them instead of putting it in drawers. Then we can get into the heavier stuff of national politics and local happenings. We can talk about the issues, and I can get angry and you can deflect. And I can’t seem to stop and ask you how you’re really doing. You moved away, and I hope you’re doing OK. I hope the pandemic and quarantine has not made you so reclusive you can’t talk to anybody except mom’s parents. I hope the days you spend in retirement allow you to explore things you haven’t necessarily had the opportunity to. I can ask only so much of you. I can ask you to be patient until I find time to see you. Until then, I can enjoy those platitudes and our conversations.

David Luces — Reporter

When it comes to Father’s Day, I immediately think of my uncle and my late grandpa, two men I’ve been lucky to have in my life. As a young kid, they were a constant fixture, always there to lend me encouragement and support. Whether it was a Little League baseball game or a band recital, they were there. Sometimes, it would just be us slouched on the couch spending hours watching a Knicks game or WWE professional wrestling. My younger self didn’t know any better, but now looking back I think the one thing I take away from those experiences is to be present and to enjoy those moments with the people you love. My grandpa passed away before he could see me graduate high school and college, though I know he would be proud of my accomplishments and the person I’ve become. My uncle and family have played a big part in that. So when I think of this Father’s Day, I think of spending time with my uncle, maybe having a couple of beers and reminiscing of past times with my grandpa. But most importantly, we’ll be with family to make new memories together.

Several months ago, I announced that after nearly 34 years as an elected official in the New York State Legislature that I would not be seeking reelection in 2020. Today I would like to let you know that effective June 28, I am formally retiring from the Senate to pursue an opportunity in the private sector. As I have often said over the course of my career in public service, it has been my extraordinary honor and privilege to have served the people of New York in both the Assembly and Senate. My life has been immeasurably enriched by the thousands of people whom I have met along the way, and I leave Albany with my head full of life lessons and my heart full of fond memories. As I roamed the halls of the Capitol last week for the very last time, I marveled at the architecture of the building and reveled in its beauty and

splendor, while contemplating the remarkable history of our great state. I was humbled knowing that I was walking in the footsteps of many great legislators from generations past, including my father, the late Assemblyman John Flanagan. I am forever grateful to my legislative colleagues, past and present, who helped guide my path and nurture my legislative career. I am a lifelong New Yorker, and never more proud of that fact than at this very moment. Despite unprecedented challenges over the last few months, Empire State residents have been profoundly resilient, and I am inspired by their fortitude and optimism. Their individual and collective perseverance will help move our state forward in the spirit of our state motto, “Excelsior” (Ever Upward). A very special thank you to my loyal

constituents in Brookhaven, Huntington and Smithtown for your ongoing confidence and trust in me over the last three decades. Your encouragement and insight into various issues along the way have been extraordinarily helpful and reassuring. As Clarence the angel from “It’s A Wonderful Life” said, “Remember … no man is a failure who has friends.” I have been truly blessed with wonderful friends and a loving family, who have supported me throughout every step of this journey. During my career I have been surrounded by many talented and dedicated people, and I am proud of all we have achieved together on behalf of New York residents. From the bottom of my heart … thank you to all for the opportunity of a lifetime. State Sen. John Flanagan New York State 2nd District

Look For the Helpers in Time of Need Mr. Rogers always said, “Look for the helpers” in time of need. Recently 3 Village Meals on Wheels needed some help and luckily those “helpers” were found right in our community. During the pandemic, one of the facilities that provided meals for eight of our clients halted their service for varying reasons. As luck would have it, one of the volunteers for Meals on Wheels happened to mention this need to the owner of the Setauket Village Diner. Constantinos “Gus” Drepaniotis, who owns the diner with his family, immediately offered his services to fill this void. Some of the clients receiving Meals on Wheels have specific dietary needs. Luckily, Gus’ wife, Nicole Zaybak, is a dietician and is overseeing the meals to ensure they are properly prepared. Gus mentioned that cooking in a restaurant

involves meeting the individual needs of his regular customers, so this was no different for him. Each day — Monday through Friday — besides preparing food for his regular customers, Gus prepares one cold and one hot meal for the eight clients. Honor Dexter is one of his new clients and when reached by phone, she commented that her meals were delicious. She said the vegetables were extremely fresh and tasted “like they came right out of the garden.” She also said the “meat was seasoned perfectly with just the right amount of gravy.” Gus and his family have contributed to many groups over the years. He feels giving back to the community is necessary and something he loves to do. He also has helped provide food for the frontline workers at Stony Brook University Hospital and helped other

Setauket Village Diner’s owner is helping make food for Meals on Wheels. Photo from Diane Melidosian

local charitable groups. The diner currently is providing takeout meals and will be offering outdoor seating soon. Please support this wonderful local establishment as often as you can. Diane Melidosian Board Member, Meals on Wheels

Showing Support for Those with Lung Cancer During this challenging time, it’s important for all those living with lung disease, including COVID-19 and lung cancer, to feel hope, optimism and support amidst the pandemic. About every five minutes in the U.S., a woman is diagnosed with lung cancer and the disease represents more than one in five female cancer deaths.

June 14-20 is Turquoise Takeover, and I’ll be wearing turquoise — the signature color of the American Lung Association’s LUNG FORCE initiative — to raise awareness about lung cancer. I hope you’ll join me and help our nation stand with patients together against this terrible disease, especially as many facing

lung cancer may be experiencing added difficulties due to the pandemic. Visit www.lungforce.org to learn how you can help defeat lung cancer. April Plank, DNP The Center for Lung Cancer Screening and Prevention Stony Brook Cancer Center

The opinions of columnists and letter writers are their own. They do not speak for the newspaper.

JUNE 18, 2020 • THE VILLAGE TIMES HERALD • PAGE A19

Opinion

Important Messages Hidden in the Alphabet

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s we approach Father’s Day, I can’t help thinking that the creators of the alphabet hid important lessons in plain sight when they put the letters “n” and “o” between the letters “m” and “p.” The letter “m” starts the Latin word “mater,” which means mother. The letter “p” starts the word “pater,” which, also in Latin, means father. Between mom and dad, then, resides the simple, D. None effective and importof the above ant word “no.” BY DANIEL DUNAIEF Parents who aren’t on the same page about decisions will find children who don’t believe a “no” ever means anything because they will run to the other parent to

find someone who will render a “no” from the former parent meaningless. Parents need the word “no” to unite them, bringing together the “m” and “p” that makes it possible to provide consistent parenting advice. When a “no” from dad is also a “no” from mom, children can’t divide and conquer with their parents. Now, valuing and appreciating the word “no” doesn’t necessarily mean parents should say “no” to everything. In fact, when mom and dad agree on something for their children, they can and should celebrate the opportunities they urge their progeny to pursue. When our children were young, we found ourselves falling into the repeated “no” pattern, mostly to protect our children. “Don’t go in the street, don’t put that toy in your mouth, don’t grab that dog’s tail, etc.” While all of those rules are valid and valuable, they also can create a culture of “no” that constantly reminds children of their limitations, giving them the equivalent of a Greek chorus of “no”

that follows them around, preventing them from exploring the world or from considering opportunities and risks worth taking because they expect a giant “NO!” sign to appear in their closet, under their bed, at the entrance to their classroom or in the backyard. My wife and I put considerable energy into redirecting our children, rather than giving them a negative answer. We suggested alternatives to their suggestion or even, at times, a compromise answer that wasn’t a negative so much as it was a reshaping of an impulse. On an elemental level, the letters “n” and “o” also seem so apt for the world between mom and dad. After all, N for nitrogen represents 78 percent of the atmosphere while O for oxygen represents 21 percent, which means that, between the letter placeholder for mom and dad resides the letters for 99 percent of the atmosphere of the earth. The elements nitrogen and oxygen also, like some families, exist in paired form as

molecules instead of single elements. These molecules float around in the atmosphere as a duo, with a strong covalent bond keeping the orbiting electron shells full. For children, saying “no” to their parents starts early as a way to fight back against the world of “no” while they drift into the world of the terrible twos or, in our children’s case, the threadbare threes. When these children are caught between their mother and father, they may find that their only defense against a disagreeable world is to hold up their own “no” shield. That small word, however, is important to change the world as well, because children who can defend their “no” answer to parents can also refuse to accept problems they see in the world. Instead, they can defy policies or ideas that rankle them. Saying “no” to anything aids cognitive development and, as it turns out, is good preparation for parenting. It has to be true because it’s right there, hidden in place sight, in the alphabet.

more ominous than the pain of his sole being sewn up. If we begged, he would show us the jagged scar, evidence of his exciting youth. What would he say about living through the present pandemic? It still feels like a dream, this novel coronavirus, from which we will shortly awake. I pinch myself, but I know I am not dreaming. For sure these times require daring just to go shopping in the supermarket, and judging by the amount of media coverage, are also riveting. For many, sheltering in place has proven to be most difficult. Those who like to be in motion constantly are now restrained to their few rooms and a daily walk. Relationships with spouses or others sharing the house or apartment may have become strained to the breaking point. In Wuhan, China, made famous as the origin of COVID-19 for example, suits for divorce have increased appreciably compared to the preceding year. There has been an uptick in the use of alcohol and drugs in the U.S. by those feeling isolated or lonely or simply in limbo from their normal lives. Depression is an increasing complaint.

Yet others, at the same time, have found the pandemic a time for reevaluation of their lives. They have slowed down from their frenetic pace, deepened relationships with partners and children and colleagues, and if they have been fortunate enough not to have anyone fall ill, and to keep their jobs, perhaps have seen a new way occasionally to work: remotely from home or elsewhere in the world. They have probably saved some money by not venturing out to shop, dine or vacation and have maybe enjoyed some healthy home cooking. There is a better prospect ahead. After all, we are in Phase Two now. It appears that Phase Three is on the immediate horizon. By wearing masks in public, practicing social distancing and avoiding crowded indoor settings, and by sheltering those who would be most vulnerable, we seem now to be co-existing with the virus, at least until a vaccine becomes available or sufficient herd immunity evolves. How would my dad tell this story? I believe he would share his experience as a great adventure, even as he would hold up his scar.

Father’s Day and COVID-19

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unday is Father’s Day. When I think of my father, one of the most immediate memories I have of him is of his telling us stories. He loved to talk about his childhood days growing up on a dairy farm in the Catskill Mountains of New York State. One of nine children, he distinguished himself with his claim as “the middle child,” and made his adventures sound daring and riveting. Somehow he Between and his siblings always survived, you and me always came BY LEAH S. DUNAIEF through relatively unscathed. And the conclusions to the stories were inevitably happy ones. For example, there was the time the six boys climbed to the peak of the hill behind

their farmhouse, arranged themselves onto an oversized sled and careened down on the hard-packed snow. It was great fun until they saw a train in the distance coming along the track at the bottom of the mountain. Their oldest brother, sitting in the front, quickly calculated the speed of the sled and the speed of the train and shouted a command to those behind him: “Jump off to the left when I count to three.” They obeyed and huddled together watching, as down below the rushing train crushed the sled crossing in its path. Then there was the day my dad and a couple of his schoolmates climbed atop the one-room schoolhouse roof and jumped down in front of their young teacher just as she was arriving for the day. She screamed, which was satisfying to his buddies, but my dad also screamed as, barefoot, he landed on a glass shard. His father, who was of necessity the “emergency room doctor” for his family, isolated as they were in the rural farmland, stitched his foot and spooked him by saying that he would bear the scar of that misadventure “all the rest of his life.” To my young father, that sounded

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