Issue 6, the Black & Gold, Volume 93 by CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL

the

Graphic: S. Hardin

Photo: S. Hardin

For a photo story on local art competitions, a look inside art teacher Amy Harper’s artistic process and the latest Loop look to page 5

March 25, 2014

Arts & Entertainment Volume 93

Black Gold

Issue 6 Magazine

2013 MIPA Spartan Award Winner

Traverse City Central High School 1150 Milliken Drive, Traverse City, Michigan 49686

Inside the bathroom lockdowns

Photo: A. Olson

Turn to page 7 for breath-taking landscapes, page 8 for student portraits and page 9 for a compliation of Central’s various vehicles

NMC art explorations

Increased vandalism and mess-making leaves unruly students to blame and only custodians to clean up

Hunter Kelly Staff Reporter

s he’s in the cafeteria picking up from the monstrosity of a mess that was once lunch, Head Custodian Scott Markle is summoned via walkie-talkie to clean up yet another disaster in yet another bathroom. “We have to go in and disinfect the bathroom,” Markle said. “Sometimes we are just too busy at that time of day, so we have to lock the bathrooms up and keep them locked until we can get to cleaning the mess.” Bathroom lockdowns send students on a school-wide scavenger hunt to find one open somewhere. This year, there has been an increasing string of bathroom vandalism incidents, mainly graffiti, and primarily in the boys restrooms, which has resulted in numerous lockdowns for repairs and safety concerns. “We lock the bathrooms so we not only send a message to students that this behavior is unacceptable,” Assistant Principal and Interim Athletic Director Jay Larner said, “but we also have to make sure there are no health hazards our students might encounter.” Head Principal Rick Vandermolen feels lockdowns inconvenience the majority of students who use the bathrooms as intended. “Vandalism had gotten better, but I think we’ve gone through a spot this year where it’s gotten really intense,” Vandermolen said. “This isn’t the worst it has ever been, though. When I was an assistant principal, the bathrooms were almost always locked to be cleaned.” Markle said that on a previous run of bathroom vandalism, the plumbing needed to be replaced due to boys intentionally plugging toilets. “Our plumber had to take the plumbing apart,” Markle said. “We had to order new pipes to and from that particular one because it was being kicked, it had been plunged so

continued, page 11

Our custodial staff reveals three buildings’ excessive vandalism problems C-Building: Writing on walls Lori Jacobson, 10 years “I spend my nights trying to make our school clean and safe for students, but I feel really disrespected spending my time on bathroom vandalism. I could be a lot more productive. Bathroom vandalism is also disrespectful to other students. Sometimes the public uses these bathrooms and we want our school nice for everyone.”

Photo: M. Hoagg

F-Building: Waste smearings

Sue Smith, 6 years “First trimester—and I don’t know who it was—but someone all trimester long, except three days, smeared excrement all over the toilet, the floor and the wall. It made me want to quit my job. I don’t see this in the girls’ bathroom. There must be something wrong with groups of boys whose idea of fun is to defecate in a semi-public place. How mad would you have to be at the world to do something like that? My dog doesn’t even do that.”

Gym Area: Excessive messiness Greg McDonald, 9 months “We [custodians] bust our butts here to make Central pleasant for students and staff. We work all night long and it’s like that never happened. The next night, it’s a mess again. You name it, fruit smashed in drains, deodorant smeared on mirrors, dirt-riddled cleats clapped together in the showers, mud everywhere. The worst was the upstairs bathroom by cardio. You could tell it was intentional. There was toilet paper all over, and some group of kids clogged the toilet and then had continued to use it. That’s just really discouraging to have your hard work trashed.”

Photo: S. Hardin

1.) Central art students took part in a series of workshops held at NMC. Isabel Schuler ‘16 indulges her artistic inclination during the water-color painting seminar. “My mom’s an artist, so I think I was really influenced by her,” Schuler said. 2.) Under the guidance of Glenn Wolff, Mitchell Wynkoop ‘14 experiments with different water colors. “We did this cool thing where we put salt on the picture to give it a different look,” Wynkoop said. “I think I’ll get into watercoloring.” 3.) Alyk Fuller ‘14 participates in the ceramics workshop. Fuller meticulously etched lines in the clay in order to create a flower pattern. “I was giving it a flowery feel because I was making it for my mom and sister,” Fuller said.

Orchestra and Band explore and perform in Washington D.C.

The city’s various monuments had a lasting effect on both the performers and performances

John Minster Staff Reporter

Out of hundreds of schools nationwide, Music Celebrations International (MCI) selected Central and just two other schools to perform at the Kennedy Center in Washington D.C. After serious consideration, MCI invites one school from each state. Orchestra and Band was first recommended by a group from Ann Arbor that also went to D.C. After hearing of Central, MCI sent Orchestra and Band an invitation last March, and they decided to pursue the opportunity. “At that point, they wanted to hear what we sound like,” Orchestra teacher Ellen Boyer said, “so I sent them three concerts from this year to keep things current. They accepted us, and so we started fundraising like crazy.” Students were awed by the honor of performing at the Kennedy Center, so much so that part of their repertoire

was an homage to the fallen president. “One of the pieces we played is a dedication to him,” Dawson Mortensen-Chown ‘15 said. “There’s parts about his assassination and it’s just a really emotional piece, and to understand the emotional side of the piece, seeing his memorial, touring the center and just seeing how sad it really was, helped me connect more to the music and it gave the music more meaning.” Boyer said the essence of our nation’s capital—it’s monuments, traditions, architecture and music enhanced the students’ play. “I think of the Kennedy Center as the second biggest place to perform in the country, right behind the Carnegie,” Boyer said. “It’s a living monument to J.F.K. We played the J.F.K. Suite, we went to all these monuments where they talked about the test and the will of a country, and seeing all that affected our playing in an extremely rewarding way.” All but two students made the trip,

Briefs

even though it cost $1000 per. Most either earned or paid their own way. Orchestra and Band tried to give the students who sold goods credit for their own sales, instead of mass fundraisers where everybody benefited. “We sold stickers, discount cards and Younkers cards and we worked at Younkers,” Boyer said. “We held a silent auction, sold calendars and ran bake sales. We just did a huge array of things to try to raise as much money as we could.” Orchestra and Band left early March 6, and spent the entire day riding a bus straight to D.C., eventually arriving at the Hilton Hotel in Alexandria, Virginia. The students woke early Friday morning to visit monuments such as the Lincoln and Vietnam Memorials. “I first went to D.C. when I was younger,” Emily Long ‘16 said, “but coming back a second time really helped me understand the true meaning of the memorials. It really changes your

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Photo: courtesy of Symphony

Before the performance, the Symphony Orchestra and Band rehearse in the Kennedy Center. Violinist Marissa Boursaw ‘15 enjoyed the grandiose atmosphere. “It was really cool because the audience was a lot bigger,” Boursaw said. “I’ve never performed for that big of an audience. Representing our school and our music in front of all those people was great.”

Central hosts Robotic contest

NMC WorldQuest

Last Friday and Saturday Traverse City Central hosted a district FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) robotics competition. Every year a challenge is released to teams; this year’s objective is to shoot an exercise ball through either a nine-foot-tall or ground-level goal in order to score points. Teams can also pass the balls between members of their alliance in order to score a burst of points. “We feel we can make it to the finals this year,” Jon Shank ‘14 said. “And, if we make it to the finals, we have a good chance of making it to states.” Central’s team, the Raptors, has spent the last two months designing and building a robot. Occasionally staying as late as 1 am after school. “My favorite part of being on the team is knowing that this is really going to benefit my future,” Alex Anderson ‘15 said. “I want to be a mechanical engineer and I know that all this is going to help prepare me.”

NMC’s International Affairs Forum recently held Traverse City’s first Academic WorldQuest competition, which consisted of four-person teams that answered 10 questions about world affairs. Seven schools from the region competed in the event, and the winning team, West’s Wild & Wacky Western Warriors, will be flown to Washington D.C. to compete at a national competition in April. Central’s teams have yet to receive their rankings. “We could have done better,” competitor Nora Johnson ‘17 said. “But we definitely did better than we thought we were going to do.” The 10 topics are agreed upon by World Affairs Councils from across the country, and a study guide is released beforehand. “For two or three months we prepared for the competition,” Dante Vozza ‘17 said. “Each

Photo: S. Hardin

Photo: M. Caldwell

practice was us in Mr. Failor’s room reading over each article and developing questions so we could quiz ourselves on the subjects.” The teams, “Work,” “Ubermen” and “Homosapiens” were the first teams to represent Central in the event. “I will definitely compete in it next year,” Vozza said.

2 Opinion

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

A risky solution to bullying As more youth undergo plastic surgery to combat rampant bullying, controversy surrounds the practicality of this “solution,” and the added emotional and psychological threats of such a drastic, permanent measure

Graphic: A. Korson

ecause she was constantly bullied about her looks, 15 year-old Renata, a South Carolina student, went under the knife. The hateful behavior of her fellow students prompted her to leave public school, but after two years of homeschooling, Renata simply couldn’t take the anticipation of cruel remarks and judgemental glances. Post plastic surgery, Renata is attending school, participating in sports and enjoying the social aspects of high school. Renata’s official diagnosis was mild-moderate hemifacial microsomia, meaning her face was asymmetrical in the cheekbone, nose and chin. She is grateful to The Little Baby Face Foundation for providing her facial reconstructive surgery for free, thus ending the taunts and criticism. But did her plastic surgery scrape away the layers of insecurity built up by years of peer-generated abuse? According to USA Today, in 2007, 205,119 minors had plastic surgery. Many, like Renata, wish to prevent teasing, so they seek surgeries for benign deformities and scarring. But aside from those cases, there are the kids who want to alter the size of their ears, or the formation of their eyes, for the sole purpose of fitting in. One new plastic surgery occurring among those of Asian descent is Blepharoplasty, the surgical changing of the eyelid from slanted to a more oval shape. In cases where physical deformities are corrected, the value of plastic surgery is understood; however, the gray area forms when more frivolous aims come to fruition. Medical necessity is the basis for many plastic surgical operations, nonetheless, there are huge discrepancies within this issue. Some feel any discomfort encountered by a child is cause for even the most

Graphic: A. Korson

drastic surgeries. Others think the mental and physical health of the child should determine whether they pursue reconstruction. The problem is that the child, who can only focus on stopping the bullies and becoming normal, decides to undergo plastic surgery, in conjunction with his/her parents and a physician, without psychological consultation. We at the Black & Gold feel plastic surgery for minors should have strict psychological

“If it’s something little, like getting picked Photo: M. Caldwell on about your nose, you shouldn’t get surgery. That’s something people should be able to deal with.” -Lexie Mallery ’14

“People say you should be fine with who you are, but Photo: M. Caldwell it’s acceptable to change yourself if you’re doing it for you. Plastic surgery could boost self-esteem.” -Elliot Stratton ‘16

Letter to the Editor

Sue Smith: F-Building night janitor “Your Health in Public Restrooms”

the Black & Gold

What can you catch in public restrooms? To name just a few, the common cold, streptococcus, staphylococcus, hepatitis A, E. coli, these, and other bacteria are ever-present in all public toilets and sinks. If your immune system is healthy and you adopt simple hygienic habits, like correct hand-washing, you should stay healthy. However, if your immune system is down, because of allergies or a cold, any new bacteria can extend your illness for days to weeks. I read an article from Dr. Dave Margolius that said only 32% of men wash their hands after using a public bathroom; whereas, women wash their hands 65% of the time. If you don’t wash your hands, you then become a walking, giant dirty toilet, so giving a high-five, touching your mouth, nose or eyeball could get you a host of bad things, including a common cold or a stom ach flu virus. Joshua Levine from askmen.com says, “that in that two-minute trip to urinate, not only do we leave tons of germs on every surface we touch, a lot of germs attach themselves to us as well.” Why so many germs? Germs in feces fly into the air when the toilet is flushed, causing an airborne mist that can travel 5-20 feet. WebMD.com “advises you to leave the bathroom stall immediately after flushing, to avoid

Editors-in-Chief Ivy Baillie David Reinke

News Editor

David Reinke

Production Editor Ivy Baillie

Opinion Editor

“If I was in a position where my face was misshapen, I wouldn’t Photo: M. Caldwell want to live like that. Whether I was bullied or not, there’d still be funny looks and behind-the-back laughs.” -Sam Cikity ’15

breathing in the microscopic airborne mist.” A recent ABC news investigation found that public bathroom floors have about 2 million bacteria per inch. How do you protect yourself ? WebMD.com advises rubbing soapy water all over your hands and fingernails for 20-30 seconds, the amount of time it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice. The friction caused by the soaping and rubbing will loosen the disease-causing particles off your hands. Just remember, that if you forget to wash, hand sanitizers are in the halls and in your classrooms. Custodians work hard to keep you healthy. You also need to work to keep yourself healthy.

A&E Editor

Fiona Muha

Sports Editor Erin Lipp

Graphic: A. Korson

Photo Editors Meg Caldwell Scott Hardin

Graphics Editor Alex Korson

Leek Editors

Jeff Comerford Connor Hansen Margo Hoagg Dylan Huey Shaine Kearney Hunter Kelly

Allison Taphouse

Emma Caldwell

Feature Editor

Business Manager Zach Egbert

“It might make someone feel better for the time bePhoto: M. Caldwell ing, but it might hurt their self-image. It can lead to even more bullying about being ‘fake’ and ‘plastic.’” -Caitlin Swager ‘17

Going under the knife

Fifteen year old Renata, whose nose, cheekbone and chin bone were smaller on one side, applied for surgery from the Little Baby Face Foundation (LBFF), which offers free procedures for facial deformities. In her app she wrote, “I tried convincing myself I’m fine the way I am, but I just don’t believe it anymore.”

Fourteen year old Nadia Ilse was called “Dumbo.” She was bullied since first grade for her deformed “elephant ears.” “When I walked home from the bus stop, I started to cry,” she said. “Sometimes I cried myself to sleep.” Nadia got a nose job, chin implant and her ears pinned back by the LBFF, free of charge.

Twelve year old Kaleb Curtis-Stopnik endured bullying since preschool for his deformed ears. Classmates teased his “Dumbo” and “satellite ears.” The Magic Mirror Foundation, run by a Newport Beach-based plastic surgeon, offered to surgically pin back Kaleb’s ears so they appear would more “natural.”

A Custodian’s Pet Peeves People sitting on the bathroom floors: 2 million bacteria per inch on that floor. Kissing mirrors: This makes my tummy flip. Micro airborne particles can travel 5-20 feet. To me, it is equal to licking a filthy toilet. People hanging out in bathrooms: Anything you touch, germs attach themselves to you. Bathrooms have diseases and illness-causing bacteria. Not flushing toilets and urinals: Urine and bowel movement harbors bacteria and has the potential to cause human illness. The odor is a build up of ammonia, and can reach toxic levels. Coffee/beverages: An open invitation to invite germs and disease into

your body. Newspapers: Not to be taken into bathrooms, germs attach themselves to the paper and the next person who looks at it, is spreading more bacteria. Food: Are you kidding me? Ick! Graffiti/Boogers: You are touching a germ and bacteria-ridden wall. Not only is it nasty to look at, it also has the potential to make you sick. Putting your stuff on the ledge of the sink: Public bathroom sinks are just as nasty as toilets. Make-up/Lipstick/Gloss: This makes my tummy flip. You have put your lips on airborne micro spray which is when germs in feces fly into the air, when you wipe stuff on the walls, the germs and bacteria stick to your fingers.

Editors’ Note

Focus Page Editor Scott Hardin Jake Myers

Lia Williams

regulations that educate youth and their parents about the effects and permanence of plastic surgery. It’s dangerous for an emotionally unstable and mentally developing minor to make such a permanent choice, even more so if the procedure is more controversial. Some victims of bullying do confer with counselors, psychiatrists or psychologists, but we feel this should be true for all children seeking plastic surgery.

Admittedly, we are high schoolers...we lack the authority to psychoanalyze a victim of bullying, or to perform plastic surgery, and we believe the choice belongs to those involved: child and parents. However, it is difficult to ascertain if a child is being pressured by parents, a boyfriend/girlfriend or influenced by an emotional or eating disorder. A uniform guideline for plastic surgeons to utilize would better protect minors. Plastic surgeons are the buffer between these vulnerable minors and their potential surgeries, and therefore need to be held accountable. They are fully aware of the effects of cosmetic surgery, in ways that parents and minors would not be. One such reality is the irreversible nature of plastic surgery; it could very well be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Because childhood and adolescence span many years and involve massive physical transformation, a teenager’s awkward looks may change greatly as they grow into adulthood. How unfortunate, then, for a bullied child to have reconstructive surgery for a benign facial problem that would most likely disappear a few years later. For many, the decision to combat bullying with plastic surgery appears to be a solution benefitting the victim—new face, new self-esteem. Unfortunately, it is just as possible that children and teens who cope with bullies by changing their facial appearance will regret it in the long-term. Additionally, a young person’s self-esteem may be negatively impacted if they succumb to the lies of unworthiness and ugliness that bullying sells. We at the Black & Gold fear the negative impact of cosmetic surgery on children. We worry that plastic surgery, in effect, is a capitulation to the bully.

Staff Reporters

The role of our custodial staff is to maintain our campus. They should not feel that they need to report for their shift in a Hazmat suit and we doubt cleaning excrement nightly was in their job description. It is unacceptable to just throw up our hands and say “this is just a few students,” lock some bathrooms and assume this hazardous behavior will cease. The change needs to start with the students, but ultimately, needs to be recognized by the administration. Their actions will lead the school into an atmosphere where the custodial staff will be respected.

Grayson Lowe George Madison Maddi Miller John Minster Sean Monnier Anders Olson Carl Rasmussen Fletcher Reyher Josie Robbins Hayley Rozema Joel Six Aaron Smits Julia Vannatter Brianna Worthington

Send us an email at theblackandgold.opinion@ gmail.com or drop off a letter to the editor

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Focus on victims, not Barbie Barbie strikes a pose on Sports Illustrated, distracts from real-life issues

Emma Caldwell Opinion Editor

Barbie has enraged many for years as a symbol of the unattainable body, and now she’s inspired more anger. This time, the Mattel Toy Company doll posed on one version of the 50th anniversary Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover wrap. A cacophony of outrage arose from her opposers; they claimed the skinny doll posing on a sexual magazine was an inappropriate role model for young girls. But little girls aren’t going to the Swimsuit Edition of SI for role models. People have feared that her laughably cartoon-esque proportions will cause our daughters to develop low self-esteem by giving them unachievable body image expectations. They fear these issues will become emotional problems that have the potential to balloon into severe disorders. But here’s the thing—a doll won’t cause a girl to stop eating, it won’t cause throw up her food--but deep psychological problems do. Barbie’s impossible proportions have been plastered all over over the internet for years, yet still she infuriates. These insane proportions make her a symbol for society’s deranged view on how women should look. But you can’t win when you’re battling an icon. So it’s time to shift the focus from the symbol, Barbie incarnate, and tackle the root of the problem, and it’s time to accept that Barbie isn’t that root. Our preoccupation with Barbie and her effects on young girls detracts from real victims. She’s not the sole reason why teenage girls starve themselves. I’ve pinched my stomach before, feeling the layer of fat that seems to scream “not skinny enough.” We’ve all done that. But when typical insecurities escalate, problems arise. A disturbing social media trend has popped up in the last couple years. People, usually teenage girls, take photos of their emaciated bodies and hashtag it

Graphic: A. Korson

#thinspo, for thin inspiration. Tumblr, Twitter, among other websites have pro-anorexia niches. Quotes like “Skip dinner, wake up thinner,” “I’ll stop when I’m thin” or “Do aerobics until you want to faint,” are abundant. While we discuss Barbie, they’re talking starvation strategies. More attention needs to be paid to these poor, broken skeleton girls. Yes, Barbie

“Society has developed a prototype for the ideal human man— that of a GI Joe”

exemplifies that perfect image, that beautiful body, the perfect women, but it’s time to stop arguing about a doll, and start addressing the issues that arise on the obsessive quest for perfection. In recent years, the number of young people with eating disorders has skyrocketed. The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality has reported that it has increased as much as 119%—a number that’s still on the rise. Why are we talking about plastic girls, when real ones are suffering? According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated disorders, over half of teenage girls use unhealthy weight control techniques, laxatives and vomiting, to name a few. Of all mental illness, eating disorders have the highest mortality rate. Real problems are being shoved under the rug of Barbie’s playhouse. Our precious doll will not decompose. Her plastic limbs will last years, her pretty hair will remain intact inside a collector’s box. Our real girls are not so lucky, if we don’t stop them from killing themselves, the loose skin around their skeletal figures will turn to dust in their caskets, as Barbie lives on.

Starting in early youth, boys of all origin and upbringing are hardpressed by cultural norms to “be a man.” They must reflect the requisite superior intelligence, strong will, dominant attitude of the mature modern man—all reflected in their swagger, attire and physicality. Though it is common knowledge now that women in magazines and advertisements are heavily retouched and perfected, many are ignorant of the fact that the same thing happens in the man’s world too. The standards set by Channing Tatum’s Photoshopped abs are unreasonable. Society has developed a prototype for the ideal human man—that of a GI Joe. He has inflated muscles, toned and worked daily to perfection. As much as women try to diet down to reed thin weight, men have to bulk up to the size of The Incredible Hulk. While women in our culture are permitted to take a variety of forms in terms of body image, men have but one: beef cake in suit and tie. This idealized image is simply impossible to achieve, unless you spend three hours at the gym and have Creatine for breakfast, lunch and dinner. While society centers on thinner women, there is certainly interest in all shapes and sizes. Full-figured women are widely accepted, and a number of other types are still largely considered attractive. Women can be all kinds of beautiful. But men are expected to be sculpted like some Roman-esque marble statue: towering in height, massive in muscles and chiseled in frame. Then there’s the man who dresses to impress, with clothing cut specifically to accentuate the perfection of his sinewed build. His hair is clean cut and tidy. While a little style is okay, there’s is a thin line when caring about your looks. Shopping and fashion as a hobby are stigmatized as effeminate, even “gay.” While men are expected to be narcissists in the gym, they are not permitted by society to care about their outer appearance without being accused of vanity or conceit. Women have assistance in the form of beauty products; makeup can transform the face of nearly anyone, and feminine hair products line the walls of drugstores. The only option men have is deodorant, perhaps a little moisturizer or hair gel, and for special occasions, cologne. For men, there are virtually no easy fixes to simple aesthetic problems. Unlike women, they can’t cover up their facial imperfections with make-up, but rather, are supposed to automatically have a clear, manly visage. Are you breaking out? Better go see a dermatologist for a hard medication to treat it. Because that’s all you can do. No one thinks women are weird when they utilize “corrective” clothing options like Spanx, push-up bras and butt lifters. Men don’t have these options. We have ties and Under Armor. Of course, cultural standards for both sexes are unreasonable and impossible. However, there are fewer options for men to improve their appearance so every aspect of their looks matters a lot more. Men have it harder than women

Allison Taphouse Focus Page Editor

Graphic: C. Hansen

Staff Reporter

Beauty is pain Painful plucking, pulling and piercing—the list of things we do to our body in the name of good looks is endless, but is it really worth it?

“You start a reputation by wearing heels, people expect you to wear them. At the end of the day, it hurts. When I wear heels, it makes me feel taller, a lot more confident, like I have my life together. I get a lot more respect in them.” -Katrina Salon ‘17

Body image: battle of the sexes Aaron Smits

Opinion

“Women are constantly bombarded with images of perfection”

I want her lips, her eyes, her hair color, her body. She looks better than me. I’d better get off to the gym. We’re the social media generation. There’s nowhere to hide. Now, the perfect body that you do not have and will never attain, despite the number of lunges, is perfectly Photoshopped for women 24/7—a nearly impossible ideal. If she’s not a model, she’s an actress—someone we wanna be— presented to us in shrink wrapped, Barbie-doll “perfection.” The keys in advertising fraud: shapeless bodies, airbrushed faces, endless smiles. Searching for perfection in other people is simple, in yourself, it’s a different story. Covering all the bases in makeup, hair, clothing, and physicalitywomen have it harder than men. Way harder. Women are constantly bombarded with images of perfection. Unlike most men, we pay attention. While men have media icons too, the focus is centered around hygiene. They just have to be clean, smell nice. Their entire regimen stops once they alight from the shower. However with women, out of the shower is beauty base one—the ordeal is just beginning. Makeup: the second step. Imperfections can be hidden under a thin film of cover-up and concealer. Eyes are enhanced with the swipe of mascara. A product is made to improve every microinch of the face. When makeup is available, women are expected to wear it. It sets a standard—an expectation: she shall paint her face. When a girl decides to nix the products and strut her natural self, she is viewed as tomboyish, lazy—even ugly. Then comes the next battle: bed head. Unlike men, women can’t just roll out of bed and have a good hair day. Women spend countless hours, with hot tools that would otherwise be regarded as instruments of torture, curling, straightening and smoothing every single strand of their precious mane. And that’s just her head. Now she has to deal with hair where there shouldn’t be hair. Wax on. Wax off. Ouch! Still, she’s just in her shower towel. If you want to get to know a woman, just sneak a peek inside her closet— it’s a glance inside her soul. Clothing accentuates, and elongates, hugs your curves or makes them disappear. Pulling off an ensemble isn’t as easy as a man throwing on another generic t-shirt with some straight-legged khakis. For women, the T has to fit to a tee. This shirt is too tight, this skirt is too lengthy, this sweater is too baggy, this jacket is too frumpy, these shoes are too high, too low, too sparkly. . . And she hasn’t even looked in the mirror yet. If it’s a big deal in the closet, you should see our mania when we aren’t wearing clothes. With spring break here, and bikini season just around the corner, women are in a panic. In pursuit of that Victoria’s Secret body, busty chest and bubble butt, somehow pulled off with zero body fat anywhere else, women are starving themselves. Men wear clothes to keep warm. Women dress for the opposite sex. Woman have it way harder than men.

“When I go my ears pierced it wasn’t that bad. It felt like a wasp sting initially, but only for a little bit. I’ve always liked normal things with with extra flare, little things that make you stand out. I’m not wearing or doing anything for other people. It’s more important that I like it.” -Collin Reece ‘16 “I don’t enjoy shaving, but you have to do it. It’s a hassle. When you get razor burn, it feels extremely uncomfortable. It feels like you got scraped on pavement. I usually just trim me face to avoid the pain.” -Sean Williams ‘15 “My eyebrows feel unruly all of the time. I started waxing in eighth grade and it was the fact that I was seeing a bunch of older girls who did it too and I thought, ‘I want to be like them.’ I get them waxed every two to three months at a salon. I feel like it’s just the thing to do, a bunch of people do it. I think it definitely makes me feel better all around.” -Sarah Gibson ‘16 “When I got my eyebrow pierced I didn’t even feel it. I was pretty nervous, he was going to stick a needle in my face. It was worth it though. I think piercings are cute and attractive. It won’t be my last piercing.” -Veronica Lodezma ‘16 “When you’re lifting a lot, your eyes will get bloodshot and red. It’s like your head is compressing. Sometimes, you’ll be lifting so hard that your vision will go blurry and your legs will go numb. That’s when you’re pushing with everything you have. I like the way lifting makes me look and it’s helped me confidence-wise, but for me, it’s more about improving my athletic ability.” -Zach Blake ‘14 “It feels a little uncomfortable when the needles go through, but it’s not a painful discomfort. My eyedrop dermal piercing hurt. I’d give it a six out of ten on a pain scale. But, it was worth it because I love them.” -Sidney Smith ‘17 “Braces hurt a lot, but it’s worth it in the long run. My smile will look better. You always look better with straight teeth. But it hurts so bad, it’s like getting shot in the mouth.” -Jacob Goodwin ‘16

Graphics: C. Hansen

4 Profiles

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Graphic: A. Korson

Natalie Menchaca ‘16

Photo: M. Caldwell

Fayth Lautner ‘15

Joel Six

Staff Reporter

Hunter Kelly Staff Reporter

Rolling out of bed at 6:30 on a humid August morning, Fayth Lautner ‘15 leads her prized hog to the wash racks for a thorough bathing and powdering. No effort is too extreme—after all, this is fair week. “There’s a different event each day,” Lautner said. “On the first day of fair, our animals are shown, judged Photo: courtesy of Fayth Lautner and awarded throughout the day. The judge will ask me questions about Fayth Lautner ‘15 with the pig she raised last year for the Northwestern Michigan Fair. Lautner has participated in 4-H for six years. “I like being at the fair specific parts of the animal. Like around good people,” she said. “There’s a lot of love. We love our animals.” ‘where is the rump?’ then I answer and point to that part of the animal.” is like,” Lautner said. “Not a lot of very first pig,” Lautner said. “I have Lautner is the president of her people know about farm animals or to start weaning myself away from 4-H club called the “Carousel Club,” how much time and effort we put the animal, and the animal has to start which includes Esperanza Pulido into taking care of them.” weaning itself away from me.” ‘15, Mia Parks and Hannah Fasel, Since October, Lautner has raised a This summer, Lautner will be both ‘14. 4-H is a youth organization black steer named Tony. She practices showing and auctioning off Tony. She administered by the USDA (United Tony’s walk every day, using a walkhopes to win Grand Champion with States Department of Agriculture). the steer. Participants engage in hands-on activ- ing stick to position his feet in the correct stance. The position of the “I’ve never won Grand Champion ities in the areas of Science, Healthy feet is key when showing an animal; with any of my animals before,” LautLiving and Food Security. Through this takes many months of hard work ner said. “It would be nice to win, but 4-H, Lautner shows and sells animals to perfect. Ensuring that Tony’s gait that means I’m going to have to beat she has raised all year long. is show-worthy is just one of the out my friends.” “I had a lot of animals at my house techniques used to glamorize him for Although this is the first year Lautand I wanted to do something with the arena. ner has raised any animal besides a them,” Lautner said. “My friend heard “To groom him for the showing, I pig, she is confident that all her hard, about 4-H and that we could sell our wash and vacuum dry his fur,” Lautdirty hours spent training Tony will animals for money.” ner said. “This technique makes his pay off. In her six years in 4-H, Lautner has fur look fuller.” “He’s extremely big and I’m so received several fifth place ribbons Despite all the time Lautner spends little, but he’s an extremely well beand one eighth place ribbon for her raising her animals, she has trained haved cow,” Lautner said. “He likes to pigs at the Northwestern Michigan herself to resist emotional attachgive me kisses. I can’t wait to see the Fair. ment. audience’s faces when I show him.” “My favorite part about fair is being “I cried when I had to give away my able to show people what my lifestyle

When Natalie Menchaca ‘16 was just eight, she noticed a small bump behind her Photo: courtesy of Dalia Menchaca right ear. She thought nothing of it. But then A stuffed bear named “Stella” helped Menchaca matters turned more through her tumor diagnosis, which was tolling serious: her lump was both emotionally and financially. “About a year before my surgery, my brother had three tumors a tumor. “When I found the on his knee, which was a huge medical expense,” she said. “Then I was in the same situation.” bump, my mom and I figured I just had “My little pink bear, Stella, was gotten bumped, we figured it was with me through the entire thing,” irrelevant,” Menchaca said. “When Menchaca said. “She wore a surgical it was still there two years later, my mask and a wristband.” mother took me to get tested.” Dalia couldn’t remember whether The situation quickly became surMenchaca’s father bought Stella bereal after Natalie’s parents learned cause she was ill or whether she just how serious the situation really was. had Stella around that time. “Natalie “I couldn’t comprehend what was just loves Stella. To this day, Stella is going on,” Menchaca said. “I never still in her bedroom.” understood how drastic the situation Menchaca didn’t have to go really was. Being so young, I had so through this life changing experience much innocence.” with only Stella. The tumor diagnosis was all the “Being such a religious family, more serious because Menchaca had my family and friends were conlost a cousin to a brain tumor, and stantly praying for me, and trusting her family has a history of tumors. God to get me through all of this,” Compounding the emotional Natalie said. “I really have my family hardship, the diagnosis was also a and God to thank for getting me financial strain. through it.” Menchaca had to do a variety of Menchaca was able to find posithings to keep her mind off of her tive ways to reflect on this painful devastating experience. incident. “We were really proud of her,” “This situation made me a stronMenchaca’s mother, Dalia, said. “She ger person,” Menchaca said. “It made everything easier because she brought me closer to my friends and didn’t cry. She was really brave and family. They were there for me all always had a smile on her face.” the time. It felt amazing to know I And one of the things that kept didn’t have to do that alone. We have Menchaca so brave was her childto trust in God and hope for the hood stuffed animal. best, when things like this happen.”

Photo: courtesy of Timeless Image

Renee Gardner

Few teachers have the opportunity to study at one of the most advanced, prestigious laboratories in the world. But Special Education and Math teacher Renee Gardner was awarded this opportunity as a teacher intern at Fermilab. Gardner was chosen as one of six teacher interns out of 26 applicants nationwide to study at Fermilab for eight weeks this past summer. Feature Editor “I had no idea that they would take somebody without a science background,” Gardner said. “Former teacher interns had degrees in physics or biology or chemistry. I have a degree in English and I’m a Special Ed teacher. I think part of why they took me is because I bring a different perspective. Also, Fermilab has to present their research to Congressmen. They have to be able to communicate to people who are not in the sciences.” Gardner joined 143 scientists from around the world working on MicroBooNE (Micro Booster Neutrino Experiment). “I knew absolutely nothing,” Gardner said. “It was very overwhelming. It was intimidating knowing I was going to be working with scientists who’ve studied this all their lives.” The MicroBooNE experiment studies the interaction of neutrinos, which are thought to be the foundation of matter. The experiment, in the works since 2007 and planned to commence this summer, inserts a large Time Projection Chamber (TPC) into a cryostat filled with liquid Argon. A beam is sent through the Argon, making contact with the Argon’s nuclei, and the subsequent interaction is measured by more than 8,000 wires. Gardner helped to tension the massive wire system by pluck-

Lia Williams

ing the wires with a zip tie. The fragility and layout of the wires on three different planes and all three millimeters apart, made for very “tedious and mind-dizzying” work. “The wires were hair-thick,” Gardner said. “It took months for them to string all the wires. You couldn’t touch them because you didn’t want them to break, you’d ruin the whole experiment. One night I dreamt I’d fallen into the wires and broken all of them.” Although Gardner said most of her assignments were “grunt labor,” such as wire-measuring, equipment repair, and cleaning and sorting, she was fascinated by the scientific inquiry explored in the experiments. “I spent a of of time reading background to understand the experiment, because I had no knowledge,” Gardner said. “I ended up having a notebook. As I learned and read stuff, I’d jot some down. I was beginning to understand what a scintillator paddle was. It was a learning opportunity for me, and it was cool and different.” On Friday afternoons Gardner toured Fermilab’s plant, exploring other fascinating experiments. Besides the textbook knowledge and experience she gained, Gardner said the teacher interns realized what it feels like to be a student. “We had more empathy for our students,” Gardner said. “My students feel how I felt on this science experiment. We had to wrap our brains around neutrinos, which we’d never heard of, and that relates to how my students feel when I talk about finding volume or surface area in geometry for the first time. I thought ‘how can I remember this feeling, and break down the information so they understand?’ That helped me grow as a teacher.” On the first day of school, Gardner premiered a movie she created about her experience at Fermilab to her Special Education class, as well as Pam Forton and Katherine Brege’s Algebra

” I knew absolutely nothing.

Photo: courtesy of Timeless Image

It was intimidating working with scientists who have studied this all their lives. ”

Paige Paul

Hayley Rozema Staff Reporter

Fresh from college, her head still spinning from graduation with an English Literature degree in hand, 23 year-old AP Government and Civics

teacher Paige Paul wasn’t sure what she wanted to do in the next stage of her life. So she took off to Chicago. Then she fell into a temporary job styling food for McDonalds, cookbooks, billboards, and other various foodie things. “It was a totally random thing,” Paul said. “The photographer mentioned to my sister that he was looking for someone to help him, and I was moving up to Chicago the next week. It ended up being what I did until I left Chicago, which was four years later.” Although most professional food

stylists attend culinary school, Paul was an exception. Food styling is a line of work in which people make food look attractive for advertising in restaurants, magazines, and billboards— anything featuring culinary arts. “The photographer thought I was a good cook and made pretty food,” Paul said. “A lot of times I would be working with another food stylist. Sometimes I wouldn’t be doing the actual food styling, I’d be doing the grocery shopping, picking out the very best lettuce, and the prettiest tomatoes. So I learned a lot of tricks.” One of Paul’s favorite things to do as a food stylist was prop shopping; she went to prop warehouses to select

Photo: courtesy of Renee Gardner

Gardner’s main job at Fermilab was to tension some of the thousands of wires on three different planes by plucking them with a zip tie. A digital camera snapped a picture every time a wire vibrated, and a computer calculated the wire’s frequency. “When we couldn’t get the camera focused, I would have to find and pluck just one wire. That’s what made it so dizzying.”

classes. She also created a few technical presentations, which she hopes to share with the Chemistry and Physics classes, as well as the Sci-Ma-Tech Advisories. “That’s part of why Fermilab brings teachers in,” Gardner said, “so we can take and share what they’re doing back to our classrooms and get kids excited about science.” Gardner will chaperone this year’s trip to Chicago to tour both Fermilab and the Argonne National Laboratory. Although her time at Fermilab did not spark a lifelong physics passion, Gardner said for her, it was more about “learning and challenging myself, doing things I’ve never done before.” Gardner reapplied for the same teacher internship at Fermilab. “I came back pumped, even now still talking about it,” she said. “I’m excited to go back and follow through on this experiment and see what they discover.”

decor items for the days’ shoot. “They’d tell me what the shoot is about and I would go find props that would fit with that theme,” Paul said. “I’d end up bringing back ten different types of napkins, placemats and silverware and then make it look all pretty for the shoot.” However, after spending hours making the set perfect, Paul was never tempted to consume the gastrological masterpiece in front of her. It had been prepped with things like car wax to make food look more glossy and scrumptious, instant mashed potatoes to prop up other foods, and toothpicks to make things stand up. “The funny thing is, when you look

at a cookbook, you think the food is delicious but nine times out of ten, you wouldn’t want to eat the food,” Paul said. “It’s probably ice cold, and has some non-food items to make it look pretty.” Paul loved her job as a food stylist, but after four years of styling food, she didn’t see it as a career, so she moved back home, and earned her teacher certification. “Even though it was fun, it was so unreliable and inconsistent,” Paul said. “After all that work, all you get is just a pretty picture. It isn’t as rewarding as teaching can be. It made me realize I didn’t want to just do something for a paycheck.”

A&E

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Student artists dominate local artshows and receive honors

Four students placed in Art Prize Central, Grand Traverse Camera Club Student Photography Competition and Northwestern Michigan College Art Competion

Graphic: A. Korson

Our resident music connoisseurs bring you the latest and greatest in this issue’s music

Aaron Smits Staff Reporter

Angel Olsen

Leek/Photo Editor & Staff Reporter

Burn Your Angel Olsen’s voice Fire for No haunts to the bone. It Witness echos with resonance, and tells stories of loneliness, loss and tragedy. If nothing else, Burn Your Fire for No Witness is Olsen’s personal struggle to discover her identity, with a heavy dose of irony. “Hi-Five” is a song about being lonely. At the surface, the thematic complexity is very shallow. However, her lyrics blend with punchy instrumentation and manifest into a mock-serious ballad that is immensely relatable. The beauty of Burn Your Fire is the ambiguity. Tracks are characterized by refrains and exhaustive repetition that represent Olsen’s temperament and her diffusive identity. Her lyrics are vague and at some points even nonsensical, which mirrors Olsen’s confusion about herself and her environment. Burn Your Fire marks an intuitive and natural followup to Olsen’s debut album, Half Way Home. In the new album, Olsen’s instrumentation escalates to more hard hitting riffs and basslines. This contrasts well with Olsen’s spectre-like vocals, which generate an unmatchably unique sound. Each song retains its own distinction, juxtaposed against Olsen’s mental turmoil. Olsen’s existential crisis takes the form of a coffee shop rhapsody that easily captivates any type of listener. Though Olsen’s lyrics are basic at best, the cathartic relief of burdens, fascinating in concept, yet entirely gratifying when it finally comes to fruition.

Jake Myers Leek Editor

Photo: S. Hardin

La Dispute Rooms of the House

The stunning cohesiveness of La Dispute’s third album Rooms of the House is breathtaking enough in concept. It only seems natural that the band barricaded themselves in an isolated cabin in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, baring all life’s distractions, to focus on composing an album so zealous. The story in Rooms is revealed through a fragmented narrative of a broken family through vocalist Jordan Dreyer’s detailed poetry. La Dispute’s intricate weaving of instruments provides the canvas for Dreyer’s deliberate and inspired paint strokes of spoken word and bristling shouts. Instead of being centred on riffs and grooves like their previous releases, the music takes a backseat to the lyrics, forming an oily mix of distorted guitars, rumbling bass and stormy drums. Both facets of the music are essential to the complex storytelling throughout the album, each complementing the other and heightening the emotional heaviness. Opening track “Hudsonville MI, 1956” introduces the disturbed characters in the midst of the apocalyptic Hudsonville tornados. Dreyer’s visions capture the sickening heartache of a wife in Indiana with her husband still in Hudsonville. “I remember those nights,” Dreyer reflects, his voice slowly boiling, gaining vigor until he’s in full roar. “I couldn’t get through to you!” and the guitars and drums crash in like a violent storm. La Dispute’s poetic lyric structure M.O. requires them to stay out of pop staples like choruses and refrains, so any repetition is deliberate and important. The most “pop” song on the album, “Woman (in mirror)” is the closest La Dispute gets to a traditional chorus. “Tiny dots on an endless timeline,” Dreyer whispers endlessly, coming to acceptance in his existential ponderings. Though not as heavy as their previous albums, Rooms of the House is more complex and approachable than the hardcore punk genre they have been pigeonholed into. The recurring motifs found throughout Rooms will send you combing back through their lyrics and piecing together the story broken as the characters. Although Dreyer’s vocals are more understandable on first listen of Rooms than anything else La Dispute has done, reading the lyrics is essential for a complete understanding of La Dispute’s artistic ambitions.

David Reinke

EIC & News Editor

Scott Hardin & Margo Hoagg

Photo: courtesy of Chris Brower

Photo: courtesy of Ashley Smith

Photo: courtesy of Spencer Schulte

3. Spencer Schulte ‘15 won first place of the NMC Art Competition. “It was part of my concentration, which is a series about me being a doctor,” Schulte said. “The pieces are my inventions—they’re pages in a sketchbook with technical details. I didn’t put too much time into it, it was a six hour piece.” 4. Ashley Smith ‘14 received an honorable mention in the NMC Art Competition. “I like the way watercolor looks, it’s light and I’m a lighter person,” Smith said. “Octopi blend with their surroundings, and with no faces, it fit in, kind of like how people at a party try to blend in.”

Inspiring young creativity by example and leading to self-growth through art Art teacher Amy Harper relates the painstakingly meticulous aspects within her process

Tycho Awake

Margo Hoagg Staff Reporter

Album covers: courtesy of Spotify

In a sequel of sorts to Scott Hansen’s (professionally monikered, Tycho) 2010 album Dive, pulls out all the recherche tactics of a true ambient artist, and on the brink of boredom, falls pretty far from that previous effort. Here, Tycho is by no means the center of attention, which is perhaps the only benefit in an album subdued by conventionality. Awake is not meant to be perceived as poetic soundscape or jarring in any way, for that matter; it’s an aesthetic. Much like the glow of street lamps or brazed heat rising up from distant sands, it complements the subjects around it. The album progresses with the solid subtlety of a sunburn. It’s not the blistering crackle of an incandescent guitar nor the fluorescent hum of a compressed accompanying bass—that would imply the feeling comes on strong. Instead it fades like an acidic sting, compounded and enlivened by Tycho’s artistic obsession with all-things-sunset. But he can’t capture constant interest from that glowing sight. The slow rising or diving of a sun is a crucial part of the hued moment, but the endless, untempered repetition of Tycho’s sound hardly encapsulates. An empty vacuum haunts each track, more in the beginning than the end; where Aloe Vera needs application, wounds are left to fester. Unfortunately for Tycho, the music just doesn’t emulate the slow-drive Malibu shoreline it desperately and wildly drives at. The result is akin to emptiness; hot as hell, but noticeably vapid. Tracks such as the wide-eyed “Montana” and a ubergelling, “L” seek to salvage the mood, but clocking in at roughly 37 minutes, Awake run-time isn’t enough to reach a climax that is any greater than the sandy, eroding banks at the beach.

1. Callie Helferich ‘16 won first place in the popular vote for Art Prize Central. “With painting, you can paint anything you want and always make something different. I like painting with acrylics because of how the paint mixes. It’s self expression,” Helfrich said. “This project was to paint a social bubble. I’ve always wanted to be in the same social class as people from Hollywood and the media, so I thought Marilyn would be a perfect match.” 2. Chris Brower ‘15 received second place in the 11th anual Grand Traverse Camera Club’s Student Photography Competition, in the landscape category. While this photo was shot mid-afternoon in overcast skies, Brower’s favorite time to shoot is during the golden hour, when the sun is rising or setting. “You get nice shadows then,” Brower said. “I used a special filter that let’s me get a longer exposure. I took it of the water so I could see the water look like clouds,” Brower said. “When I finally get that one good shot, it comes together and people enjoy it.”

After another rewarding day of encouraging high schoolers to express their creativity in various art mediums, Amy Harper whisks acrylic indigo paint on a new canvas and feels at home. Her abstract paintings mimicking bubbles or lily pads decorate the walls of her studio, inspiring her next stroke of color. “I’m in love with color, that’s where I always start,” Harper said. “Right now I’m stuck on this dark blue. My work is about water so I’m thinking about the great depths of the water, and all the stages that you see when you go underwater. It’s like when you look at the bay and it goes out infinitely and all you can see is that gradation. All I think about is color and composition while I’m painting. I’m just reacting to what I see, my art is so improvisational.”

Photo: S. Hardin

Showcasing her painting, Art teacher Amy Harper describes her frustration with art misconceptions. “People feel it is not real art until there’s a monetary value on it,” she said, “and I think that’s wrong and really sad. I am passionate about art and I think that anything is valid art if it is created in the spirit of creativity.”

In the pitch of darkness every morning before her two sons wake up, Harper snowshoes out her back door to her studio in her pajamas. “I’m the only person allowed in there, it’s nice for me to have my own private space,” Harper said. “I have to be so

responsible because of my job and my children, and out there it’s just me. I get up at five in the morning, and it’s pitch black out and the stars are just beautiful. I paint for an hour. It feels like my playtime.” Currently, Harper’s creative focus has been

on the idea of “ascension.” “Right now I’m really interested in things ascending, like souls or spirits or bubbles,” Harper said. “We are all trying to get better. We are trying to ascend. The constant effort of how I could be better, or have

said that better, or have taught better.” Harper was inspired to become a teacher by her own art teachers Dan Lisuk and Karen Hoth, when she attended Central High School. She was inspired by their positive vibe and relaxed personality while teaching. Subsequently, Harper followed her passion for art to the University of Michigan, and on to graduate school at Central Michigan University. “I knew I could be happy if I could create things every day,” Harper said. “I just didn’t know how happy I would be here at Central. I had this chip on my shoulder that I haven’t done a bunch of stuff if I were to come back to Traverse City. It turns out that this is exactly what I intended when I said, ‘I want to be Mr. Lisuk when I grow up.’ I feel like I am in a place where I really understand the kids and I just feel like I’m exactly where I belong.”

6 Sports

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Winter sports finish it out strong Girls Basketball

Aside from Central’s tradition of being successful, each team has their own traditions that continue off the competitive field. Here coaches and players discuss their traditions

Erin Lipp

Sports Editor “Grit, Composure, Integrity, Loyalty” are just a few words pasted on the backs of each varsity girls soccer player as they run onto the field to warm up. These are a few of the 25 characteristics that were chosen to brand the team’s character T-shirts. “They bring the team together in many ways, but one thing stands out: They feel like a team when they wear them, because they look like a team,” Head Coach Janna Deering said. “They look pretty sweet when they are all in a line during our dynamic warm-up and they all have them on.”

Hockey Photo: courtesy of R. Sack

“We began the season with a mentality that it wasn’t okay to lose any games. In past seasons, we told ourselves it was okay if we lost a game, but we changed that mentality. Our record wasn’t as good this year, but we should end up having better defense next year.” -Eliza McCall ‘15 BNC: tied 4th, Semi-final districts “A lot of new things were put in place. It was my first year as head coach. Before I was the freshman coach. We were fortunate enough to have a bunch of great kids coming back this year, and we’ll have a great team next year.” -Head Coach Heather Simpson Photo: courtesy of N. Keyser

Photo: S. Hardin

“I was able to improve my place from last year in almost every race and well as do some new races with more competitive fields. I’m really happy about placing fifth at States in the skate. I had been a minute or so behind those top guys so I was really happy to ski fast and finish in that lead pack. Overall though, at States I finished eighth. Next year I want to be top five.” -Clay Darling ‘15 BNC: NA, States: 4th “I think the best part of the season for the boys was the races they did just before States. They felt ready for States. I don’t know if they expected to be out of the running at States. I think they expected to do better. The worst part would be if they don’t realize they can turn things around and be competitive next year.” -Head Coach John Kostrzewa

“With 11 new guys going into this year, I don’t think people expected us to be as successful as we were. We had a great year, and I think we proved a lot of people wrong.” Cam Givens ‘14 BNC: 1st, State Rank: 13th Division 2 “This year was one of the fastest to go by for me. A lot of that was due to the players not having any issues off the ice. No grade problems, suspensions, eligibility problems, or anything. It was just a great group of kids to work with. They all worked hard, played well against some really hard competition.” -Head Coach Chris Givens Photo: courtesy of N. Keyser

Boys XC Skiing

Wrestling

Photo: S. Hardin

Kalina Pfannenstiel ‘15, Elena Morcote ‘14 and Grace Stanton ‘15 rep the new character tees. “When you have that label, it motivates you become it and bring that aspect to the team to make it become stronger,” Pfannenstiel said.

Character shirts started five years ago under the the previous head coach, when the team spent two hours voting on the characteristics they considered most important in athletes. Now, each year the team sits down and decides who should receive which characteristic. “Some are really easy to decide, others are not,” Deering said. “They have to work together to figure it all out. Sometimes you have one player who thinks someone should absolutely have a certain character, and another girl will totally disagree. They learn to compromise, and to make the decision that is best for the team. Once they are given a character, it is up to that player to represent that character well, and if they don’t, it’s up to their teammates to hold them accountable.” Kendall Minor ‘14 has been a varsity player for three and half years; she sees the shirts as a positive influence on the team. “It’s a way to recognize our individual talents and skills,” Minor said. “We respect each other a lot more and can look up to those who have characteristics we want to attain.” Note: As of press time the team’s characters were still being selected.

1. State Performance D1

-2000-Regional runners-up, finished ranked 8th in MI, highest rank

2. Number of Players -38 girls, 18-20 on Varsity

3. Average Practice Time

-between 1.5-2 hours, 6 days a week

Girls XC Skiing “This ski season went by really fast. I learned a lot at races, especially going to Stowe, Vermont for Nationals. I didn’t get all of the results I wanted this year, but I’ll just use that for motivation to train harder for next season.” -Erin Lipp ‘15 BNC: NA, States: 1st “As a team we did what we had to do, and not a whole lot of extra, nor did we leave much room for error. I know we have some very excellent athletes on this team who have high expectations for themselves. A few of those girls fell short of the goals they set for themselves and were down a little in spirit when things did not work out.”-Head Coach John Kostrzewa

Photo: S. Hardin Photo: S. Hardin

Boys Basketball

Girls Alpine Skiing Bowling

Photo: courtesy of J. Madion

“I was on varsity so it was kind of stressful at first because the whole team aspect was something that I had never experienced before. It’s a different atmosphere and there are other people to support you and assure that it will be fine.” -Maggie Dutmers ‘17 BNC: 2nd, Regionals: 1st, States: 2nd “My expectations were a little bit unknown at the start of the season but we had some good freshmen move up. When we went to our first race of the year, that told me that we had pretty good talent. The girls had a very successful season.”-Head Coach Jerry Stanik

“As a team, we started very well. Unfortunately, we lost one game to West. We had a great season, better than last year. Personally, it was fun and successful, especially as a senior.”- Brad Wozniak ‘14 BNC: 2nd, Regionals: 10th “We finished the season on a positive note. I’m looking forward to next year. We’ll have five seniors and maybe three or four juniors.”-Head Coach Jim Orr Photo: courtesy of B. Sepanik

Boys Alpine Skiing

“My season went better than I expected. I was really proud that all of my off-season training paid off. The worst part this season is losing Coach Haughn. It will be something to adjust to. I was also upset that we didn’t have anyone go on to regionals this year. To prepare for next season, I need to build up my stamina and increase the amount of moves in my arsenal.” -James Westenbarger ‘16 BNC: 6th “This year we ended with 26 kids. Five of them had records around 500 and I feel the underclassmen are ready to make a run next year. Of the 26 athletes, 21 of them were underclassmen.” -Head Coach Dave Haughn

Photo: courtesy of A. Egbert

“We could have done better than we did. We had a lot more skill than what we showed. We lost a lot of close ones which could have helped us a lot with buildingour record.”-Jackson Schrameyer ‘16 BNC: 5th “I think they competed. Also the defensive effort we got all season was good. beat the team that is playing in the state semifinals. The players we had were really good kids, well respected.” -JV Coach Dan McGee

“I’m content with my season. It could’ve been better, but I contributed to the team. I’m working to improve everything for next season, I can be better in everything, but specifically giant slalom.” -Tyler Sepanik ‘15 BNC: 2nd, Regionals: 2nd, States: 2nd “We didn’t have our entire team available to race until the last couple races of the year so we were wondering what we could do if we were all together. All of them skied outstanding, they were outstanding all season long.” -Head Coach Nick Stanek

English Teacher Sean Jones competed in Bodybuilding

Jones competed with his father in the 2009 Mr. Grand Traverse at the Turtle Creek Casino and Hotel. After watching a friend compete in the 2008 Mr. Grand Traverse, Jones spent eleven months preparing for his one and only body building competition

Business Manager Masked in a shining bronze, Sean Jones lays down on the floor of a single bed sheet the night before his first ever bodybuilding competition. With fake tanner caked on in layers and extremely dehydrated from cutting water, Jones reached an incredible 3% body fat before the competition. “You can’t sweat, or swallow, and pretty much all you care about is when you can have water,” Jones said. “I would rinse my mouth out with water but not swallow it just because my mouth was so dry.” Rewind back to March 2008, eleven months before competition. Jones and his father went to watch a friend compete for the 2008 Mr. Grand Traverse. At the competition, Jones’ father, 63, convinced him to compete in next year’s contest. “I’ve always had an interest in lifting but it was always for athletic performance,” Jones said. Jones grew up in the competitive realm of wrestling and football, where he was coached by his father since he was four years old. Jones continued wrestling through college, but once he graduated, the drive to improve athletically had faded. “It’s good to have a goal and something out there you’re working towards,” Jones said. “It was very helpful to have that focus and motivation again.” In order to compete, Jones had to drastically change his diet. Besides the bland egg whites, oatmeal, chicken/tuna/turkey, broccoli and spinach he consumed daily, Jones concocted his own specialty

Photo: courtesy of S. Jones

Zach Egbert

drink to make the job a little easier. Six days a week, he would place half a cup of V8 juice, a handful of kale, handful of broccoli and a handful of spinach, put it on ice, blend it all together and “slam it,” as Jones says. But to keep his sanity, he was also allowed a single cheat meal per week for the first few months of training where he could eat anything and everything. “What I did focus more on was food,” Jones said. “Paying attention to your macro nutrients, your calories, when to consume and when to take protein and when to take different kinds of carbohydrates was so tough. It was probably 80 percent diet and 20 percent training.” Jones trained six days a week at “Fit for You” here in Traverse City. Co-Owner Vern Gauthier trained his father in the morning and then his father would train Jones later in the day. They would primarily work large to small muscle groups and maintain a certain routine for about a month, and then switch it up to keep things interesting. “It was like I was seventeen again, and he’s there spotting me and training me again,” Jones’ said. “I’m very lucky and I think it’s fairly neat that I have that kind of relationship with my dad.” The week before the event, preparation is vital to “show” their very best. For four days before, Jones drank upwards of two gallons of water a day and ran cardio twice a day between lifting sessions. With 24 hours to go, Jones had to cut water out entirely, and with the body expecting to get the two gallons it’s been use to,

Jones dehydrated at a very fast rate. This creates a shrink-wrap-like effect for the competitors where the skin is as thin as possible to show maximum muscle definition. “I consider myself to be a fairly tough individual when it comes to any physical activity,” Jones said. “But I am the biggest baby when you take my water. I would have done anything for water. I mean, if I could’ve cried, I would have, but I didn’t have any water left.” Neither Jones nor his father placed in the competition, but resurrecting their athletic training was powerful for both. Father and son only competed in one body-building competition. Jones, standing at 6’2” and using only natural supplements, as opposed to steroids, said the odds are against him. “I couldn’t compete against these young kids,” Jones said. “I was too tall and natural, and it’s not a natural competition.” Jones endured a torn labrum in his right shoulder, a hernia, and severe dehydration. He was amazed at how hard it was to pose without shaking in front of the judges when his body was so fatigued. Still, to this day, Jones lifts often and even stays close to his original diet while drinking over a gallon of water a day. “The thing with training--the cardio and the diet--you get used to it,” Jones said. “And it’s not like they are gonna stop making doughnuts and pizza, so that part of it, you just deal with.”

Magazine

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Sweet Spots

Design and Content: Anders Olson

“I saw Venus at the top of the hill at dawn. It was purple and orange and there was just a little bit of sunlight hitting it. It looked surreal.” - Jeremy Chao ‘15

2. “The woods on Alligator Hill and all around Glen Lake are really nice and a place I can connect with.” -Jack Hawley ‘15

1. 4. 3.

1.) The sun rises over the Old Mission Peninsula on a late summer morning. Jeremy Chao’s ‘15 house is on the peninsula and he loves where he lives. “It has some nice hills to stargaze from,” Chao said. “I just walk right up the hill from my house and there is this nice flat field. I bring my telescope and the stargazing is perfect.” 2.) Jacqueline Ewing ‘14 stands tall on a damp bluff at Pyramid Point, while looking out at the great Lake Michigan view. 3.) Green leaves and tall grass surround the quiet hiking trails behind the old State Hospital. Many students enjoy the view of both bays and downtown from the State Hospital’s hilly trails. The grounds are a sweet place to cool off under big trees on sunny summer days. 4.) The sun sets over Alligator Hill, which lies between the Big and Little Glen Lakes. Jack Hawley ‘15 spends long summer days hiking and boating around the Glen Lake area. “My grandparents live out there. It’s where I spent my childhood,” Hawley said. “I just love to hike with my friends out there.” 5.) The crystal blue waters of Lake Michigan ripple beneath a breeze looking out from Pyramid Point, a famous hiking trail and lookout part of Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore. 6.) Clouds break to show a blue sky over Little Glen Lake. Alligator Hill lies behind, leading to the narrows where boaters pass under to travel between the Big and Little Glens. 7.) Students Caroline Gardner and Chris Bennett, both ‘14, greet some friendly sled dogs training in the woods of the State Hospital Commons.

8 Magazine

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Who I am not Design and Content: Meg Caldwell

Modeled after Steve Rosenfield’s internet social experiment called “What I Be,” the Black & Gold captured students who wrote one word on their body that best describes their persona, or what they perceive others’ think about them.

“Calm Down” Max Copeland ‘14

“The word I chose was insane. People think I’m insane because I don’t care and I show up to school in my house clothes. I’m not here to impress anyone. I’ve built up some sort of a stage presence and I’ve always liked being the center of attention. I like getting reactions out of people. I’ve studied people in a way, doing things and seeing how they react. I’ve always felt like I’ve collected reactions. People think I’m crazy for it and wonder why. My mom died when I was nine. It probably triggered a lot of this crazy. But I don’t mind being crazy, I just kinda love myself for it. You know what I’m sayin’? I’ve learned to embrace myself and my socially deviant qualities. People don’t love themselves enough and it’s all about love, man.”

“Crazy B****” Anna Russell ‘15

“I chose the word shallow, because when people would call me shallow, a part of me believed them. It’s hard to learn to love yourself when everyone else is telling you you’re not good enough. It’s hard for me to love myself when people are telling me I am shallow because I like clothes or I like makeup or because I dig a good Instagram filter. I don’t think it makes me a lesser person because I’m open about the things I actually like. A lot of people think because I’m open, it makes me less intelligent, because I’ve chosen a way to express myself that isn’t how they chose to express themselves. It’s just what I like, and it’s hard to grow into a person who is always being called names. It’s hard to be yourself, when who you are isn’t accepted by everyone.”

“Man Up”

Hunter Bartlett ‘16

“I chose faggot because people prejudge that I’m gay. I think people call me a fag because of the way I dress. I try to use my clothing as a canvas. It’s a way self expression and I’m judged for it. My freshmen year I changed myself. I stopped wearing toms...I really liked toms… because everyone thought I was gay when I wore them, I stopped wearing them. And now it doesn’t bother me anymore. I was raised in a family that always supported me being me. I’ve been pretty okay with it now. If you are gay thats OK but if you’re not and you’re being called gay you are who you are and if you can’t be who you are around the people in your life it’s not worth your time to hang out with them if they don’t accept you for you.”

“Two-Faced”

Bailey Versluis ‘17

“The word I hear most said about me is twofaced. They either say I’m a gossip, or I’m nice. When people ask around about me, everyone has lots of opinions and some people say I’m nice and other people say I’m not. When I first started hearing this, it made me mad. I was worried because I was like, ‘how will I make more friends?’ or ‘how will I do in high school?’ But now I know it’s more about what your friends say, than what strangers say, it doesn’t matter what people who don’t know me think of me. It doesn’t matter unless you hear you’re two-faced from your close friends, but if your friends are saying that, they aren’t your real friends. It doesn’t matter what people are saying. Just be true to yourself.” If you are interested in being featured in the “What I Be” project please email: caldwellmar46@tcapsstudent.net

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Parking Lot Madness

Magazine

Rearview mirror bling

Design and Content: Meg Caldwell, Anders Olson, Scott Hardin, and Shaine Kearney

Graphic: A. Korson

Whether it’s a dream catcher, retro dice or a scented something, some students want the look in their rearview blingedout. Here are some students with cool dangles hanging from their rearview

Photo: A. Olson

Photo: M. Caldwell

We at the Black & Gold have found that the most popular scent in students’ cars is Black Ice. “I have had my latest Black Ice tree for about six months now,” Bauer Jones ‘14 said. “It smells almost like a cologne. I’m not sure I can even describe what it smells like, but I like it.”

2. Photo: M. Caldwell

Photo: M. Caldwell

From the rearview mirror of Jade Kykuczka’s ‘15 2001 Saturn hang giant, fuzzy dice. “I got the dice from a dollar store for my mom’s car, while I was vacationing in Florida, when I was a kid,” Kykuczka said. “Now the car is mine and I just haven’t taken them down.”

Photo: A. Olson

1.) Rumbling around in his orange and black GeoTracker is Chris Chang ‘14. This unique Chevrolet catches many students’ eye. “I found my car on Craigslist,” Chang said. “I liked that it was lifted and that it had a manual transmission.” 2.) Nick Barger ‘15 shows off his bright red 1992 Pontiac Sunbird convertible. “I chose it because it was a car the owner was personally selling,” Barger said. “This is the first winter the car was put through and it was surprisingly good. Even for an old car, it handled really well in the snow.” 3 & 4.) Kayla Hilner and Brenn Olsen, both ‘14, stand next to their identical Toyota 4-Runners. “I traded my 1966 Ford truck for it,” Olsen said. “It has a different suspension so it is lifted a little bit and I can take it more places.” Although the cars appear the same, Hilner and Olsen disagree on whose car reigns supreme. “Me and Brenn are really good friends,” Hilner said, “so we like to match each other. He thinks his car is cooler than mine but I guess it’s his own opinion.” 5.) Matt Morse ‘15 proudly shows off his array of bumper stickers. “I think of my bumper stickers like tattoos,” Morse said. “It kind of gives more character to the car.” Every sticker Morse adds to his car is personal. “The ones that best represent me are the ones I choose to go on the car.”

Photo: S. Kearney

Photo: C. Rasmussen

Photo: M. Caldwell

An orange and brown plastic palm tree dangles from the mirror of Jack Brewer’s ‘15 2004 Honda Pilot. “It was a sixteenth birthday present from Jake Bonifacio (‘15),” Brewer said. “It used to smell all tropical but the smell ran out a while ago. Now I keep it there because it looks cool.”

Photo: S. Hardin

In Jessie Kushner’s ‘14 2009 Dodge Caliber hangs a brown, bejeweled dreamcatcher. “I like what it symbolizes. It’s kind of just a freedom type jewel,” Kushner said. “It supports open mindness and positive thoughts. It’s one of those things where people think I’m a hipster, but then I have to say ‘no, I had this before you’. Plus, I am in fact, Native American.”

10 Ads

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014

Ads

Bathroom debacle Continued from front page

Washington D.C. trip Continued from front page perspective on all these great people and the sacrifices they made.” A chunk of Saturday was for rehearsing, and Sunday was the big day. Orchestra and Band spent the entire day at the Kennedy Center, touring and performing. The musicians played the theme from The J.F.K. Suite by John Williams, American Salute by Morton Gould and Orchestra and Band No. 2 “Romantic,” by Howard Hanson. While playing in such a large venue of such historical significance can be intimidating, Nick Suminski ‘15 was unfazed. “I tried to focus on the fact that I’ve practiced so much coming in,” Suminski said. “I’d worked all I could. I didn’t worry

about where I was and the significance of it, I just knew that whatever happens, happens.” After their day at the Kennedy Center, the students boarded the bus and returned to Traverse City, arriving just in time for school on Monday morning. Boyer felt the trip was outstanding. “It was a flawless trip,” Boyer said. “The kids might have thought we were a little strict (curfew was 1:00), but when you’re up at 6:00 and you’re running all day, you’re just moving constantly. We had no discipline problems, no travel issues, our performance was great. It couldn’t have gone any better.” For Suminski, performing in the Kennedy Center is something he’ll remember the rest of his life. “To get a high school orchestra from a relatively unknown place performing in the Kennedy Center is basically unheard of,” Suminski said. “As a musician, to be able to say I performed there is a really big deal.”

many times. That got very expensive. It gets annoying having the same problem over and over.” Around that same time, soap, often used to clog toilets, was removed from most bathrooms, which in itself was a health concern. Not all of the current vandalism is graffiti, however. Whereas, the vandalism in C-Building also includes toilet clogging, in F-Building, some students are smearing excrement on toilets, stalls and floors. In the gym area, students have smeared hygiene products on walls, left mud from shoe cleats in showers and smashed bananas into students’ locker vents. The campus-wide vandalism is not the only problem with bathrooms. “There will be instances where students will be smoking in the restrooms,” Larner said. The cameras located outside of the restrooms play a role in catching vandalizers. “It’s hard to see who is coming and going due to all of the traffic the restrooms receive but, on occasion, we are able to figure out who is causing the damage,” Larner said. The student handbook states that school vandalism is a suspendable offence up to 10 days and, depending on the severity of the damage, legal action may be taken. “The school is public property,” Vandermolen said, “and just like in public, if you deface the property, you can be subjected to a misdemeanor. That could result in court, fines, probation really whatever the judge decides. Suspension and legal action both have been taken here.” C-Building custodian Lori Jacobson has been in TCAPS maintenance for 10 years. She says the damage is escalating and it’s getting more personal. “There’s like whole groups of students now,” Jacobson said. “If one group has a symbol, then the next group will mark another wall with a bigger symbol. If someone gets in trouble, just a few kids around here take their aggression out on the bathroom walls. Sometimes they name names of other students and say nasty things. That’s just unfair. Who wants to read that? We lockdown for safety, but also because of what’s written.”

Jacobson said the strongest behavior control administration has, other than tracking students, is locking students out, which makes everyone suffer. She says the problem is increasing. “Before, a lockdown slowed the number and severity of vandalism incidents,” Jacobson said. “We just locked for one day and students would stop. No longer.” The multiple lockdowns have at times escalated to several times a week and are not only inconvenient for students, but costly for building maintenance. “We don’t have a big maintenance budget to be able to pay for all the renovations,” Markle said. “We don’t have money to be replacing toilet seats or painting over graffiti. The money has to come from somewhere. If maintenance has to take money, it takes away from fun things we would rather be doing, like more and new classroom supplies or field trips. As a result of all of the bathroom graffiti, I’ve requested 12 gallons of paint so far this year. That’s been a big problem.” Vandermolen said, “To me, what’s more costly is the message that it says about our school. A few students are trying to create a message about our school that isn’t represented by the majority of our students.” Larner insists that the vandalism has stayed consistent throughout his tenure. But additional expenses and increasing lockdowns indicate the problem is rising. “We’ve talked about making sure the staff are monitoring who is leaving and using sign-out sheets to track attendance,” Larner said. As a general rule, Vandermolen says students should always report bathroom misuse. Setting up an anonymous tip line is also an option. “If a tip line can help us curve the problem of vandalism, that’s completely fine,” Vandermolen said. “Locking the bathrooms is not about being administrators versus students, we need to work together. Together, we can make this issue dramatically decrease.” Gym area night custodian Greg McDonald said he’s not blaming anyone, but more could be done. “Maybe if the gym teachers could take a sweep through the locker rooms and bathrooms at the end of class, or have trusted students do it,” McDonald said. “That might help, at least in this area. I know everyone has a lot to do, and if this place didn’t need cleaning, I wouldn’t have a job—again, I’m not blaming anyone but the students who do this—but this vandalism would never have happened at my high school.”

12 The Leek

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold March 25, 2014 real stories, real people

Hats: An investigative report

More and more Central students fall into the habit of wearing hats in the hallways, unaware of the danger hats cause to themselves and others

Scott Hardin

Leek & Photo Editor

ith Student Senate’s recent passage of controversial “Hat Day” legislation, which legalizes hats for students willing to pay a fine, many parents and staff have become concerned that students no longer fully understand the very real dangers of wearing hats in the hallways. “The data shows that wearing hats in the hallways causes students to consistently perform at a lower level on the Marzano scale than students who choose to remain clean,” Head Principal Dr. Rick Vandermolen said. “It makes perfect sense.” Prohibition has long been TCAPS’ approach towards the hat debate, stemming from a long standing provision: SHC, 13, pg 10, § B, of the Student Handbook that reads: “Hats, hoods, and all other headwear are not allowed to be worn on school grounds for reasons that exist and make sense.” However, millennials are increasingly interested in experimenting with hats. A Pew Research Poll shows that 1 in 3 high school seniors have worn hats in the past year, and that teenagers are now more likely to wear hats than their parents. “It is important that parents know the dangers of their child wearing hats in school,” Vandermolen said. “The problem has gotten especially bad in the past few months. We have noticed a significant spike in knit-cap offenders during the winter months—I can not think of any possible explanation. I encourage parents to check their children’s closets consistently, maybe even rummage through their trash for New Era stickers.” To combat the wave of disruptive hat-wearing behavior, TCAPS has hired a consulting firm to help scare students straight, Just Say No and D.A.R.E. not to wear. Above the Influence, an organization familiar with younger audiences, will begin holding mandatory advisory seminars in the cafeteria next Thursday, in lieu of mandatory OLWEUS advisory seminars. “Students often get this perception from the media that hats will make them look cooler or older,” Nicole Stewart, Central’s Above the Influence representative, said. “They selectively ignore that hats are bad for them and the people around them, and that there are actual reasons why teachers need to spend time and energy enforcing this rule. Young adults just are not ready for the kind of responsibility and disruptiveness that comes with wearing hats.” As with some administrative policies, many students have spoken out against anti-hat rules, citing a right to be comfortable and warm, while expressing themselves, especially if done so modestly. “I’m just really cold,” Bosh Jelcher ‘14 said. “So cold.” In response to complaints of discomfort from students like Jelcher, the TCAPS Board

BEFORE HAT USE My calculator is my best friend!

AFTER HAT USE

Disclaimer: The Leek is satire and not to be taken too seriously.

News in Brief Jake Myers & Grayson Lowe Leek Editor & Staff Reporter

Twentysevenmesters Graphic: G. Lowe

Want to meet up in the Little Caesars parking lot?

Graphic: S. Hardin

released a prepared statement last Thursday, claiming that “as noted in the student conference documents, student comfort is not necessary or desirable at school, as wilderness survival and strength of will are two of thirty-four recently added graduation requirements.” The debate over student right to expression has proved to be slightly more controversial. “I just want to express myself,” Chris Hull ‘14 said. “I have a constitutional right to self expression. Why can I not wear what I want to wear, if it isn’t distracting?” TCAPS Board members responded to Hull’s complaints as well in Thursday’s press release, stating that due to a longstanding Board policy, TCAPS students are not and never have been subject to the benefits of constitutional rights. Central administration also recognizes that the no-hat rule, while criticized by students for being archaic in it’s basis of old world ideas of respect that are no longer present in today’s society, is therefore steeped in tradition. “Our extensive polling shows that T is for Tradition,” Vandermolen said. “Clearly, change would be bad here because of that, and students would be slighted.” However, Central administration is taking some progressive steps. “The reason we consistently go after the

male students for wearing hats and not the female students is that males are probably up to something, or just have it coming anyway,” Vandermolen said. “But when female students wear hats, it is clearly a fashion statement, so persecuting them would just be sexist, which is in violation of Title Nine and the student handbook. Gender aside, teenagers will be teenagers and complain about everything. When did ‘because I said so’ stop being an acceptable rationale for a perfectly reasonable rule?” Some Central staff members are especially eager to stop the headwear epidemic in it’s tracks, and have gone as far as calling for an increase in staff. “I think the inability to just accept orders from superiors is a clear lack of discipline on our male students’ part,” Coach James Brumfield said. “I’ve made requests for NMC police cadets to patrol, but they claim hats are part of their uniforms, and therefore must be worn on Central’s campus.” Since Central’s colossal failure to implement corporal punishment last year, Vandermolen remains skeptical. “We have comprehensive data showing that robots would be six hundred percent more efficient at administering the halls,” Vandermolen said. “Drill sergeants will be unnecessary once our robot overlords have arrived.”

Headlines from around the world Vladimir Putin finally gets his happy Soviet Re-Union Leek Editors admit “We’re sellouts, godforsaken sellouts” derevocsid esrevinu “rorriM” weN Central Junior “understands, like, everything man” during epiphany in AP Psychology

Global Perspectives

Deemed as a “bold move for improving education,” TCAPS superintendent Steve Cousins flexed his superintendent might by issuing a proclamation to switch high school curriculum from a system of trimesters to a unique new system devised of twenty seven marking periods, which is scheduled to be implemented after seniors depart on May, 23. “I call them twentysevenmesters,” Cousins said. “More is better, right?” Making the switch after a mere five years of trimesters, the TCAPS Board of Education unanimously approved the twentysevenmesters proposition. “Looking back, trimesters was a pretty dumb idea,” school board publicist Dave Delmart said. “But that was five years ago. We were just kids, running around like everything would go our way. But we’ve learned some things, the hard way, twice.” District high school students are also excited for the new transition, and see it as a major improvement to their secondary education. “What? No, no I don’t see it that way at all!” exhilarated Hargo Moagg ‘17 said. “This is going to completely ruin my credit requirements. How am I supposed to graduate? This doesn’t make any sense!”

Leek Staff “totally hanging”

Graphic: G. Lowe

Amid the frantic pace of countless exams, the beginning of a fresh trimester, a story here at Central goes untold, and at The Leek, we demand it sees light. With a drastically shortened news cycle, Leek tradition mandates a hearty call for “all hands on deck” and a raising of the traditional Jolly Roger. However, this week, one position amongst our salty crew remains painfully empty, and one voice does not join in with the merry sea shanties we hold so dear. The staff member, who wishes to remain anonymous, left unexpectedly for parts unknown (no foul play is suspected), and left it to his stalwart comrades to ask the hard questions in the face of unyielding difficulty. We suspect he has been shanghaied into service, eternally indebted to serving the mysterious Flying Dutchman, or took a vacation, nevertheless we bid him a fond farewell. Deserted but unphased, the staff was short-handed, so the remaining crew battened down the hatches, prepared for the oncoming storm and forged on. Working tirelessly through the night and our massive coffee budget to pick up the slack, we here at The Leek pressed on, into darkness for you dear reader, all of these things, we do for you.

Road Apocalypse

LEEK BOOK CLUB

Russia invades and annexes parts of Ukraine. What do you think?

“Was Putin wearing a shirt when he rode in on his horse?”

Wanda Pheonix Ford Employee

“Better them than us! What’s the phone number for NATO?”

Tokyo Mitsubishi Flag Maker “Economic sanctions will definitely make a difference. Won’t hurt our own economy, no sir.”

Algernon Cadwaller Botanist

Graphic: G. Lowe

“Didn’t Obama and Kerry say that was unacceptable, and then unconditionally unacceptable, and then uber unconditionally unacceptable? Can you say red lines?” Karl Brizdius Garbage Man

Photos: Courtesy of Reuters

Graphic: S. Hardin, J. Myers and C. Hansen

Amidst the worst pothole season in Grand Traverse County’s recorded history, Road Commissioners have alerted residents that they have discovered a pothole of unheard of proportion with interdimensional properties that our puny brains do not have the capability of grasping. “It’s like a black hole,” Road Commissioner Milliam Whorseu said. “Trippy, man.” Road Commission researchers have determined that this asphalt portal, transcending space and time, was due to the onslaught of the unforgiving intergalactic superwinter—culminating in a massive pothole megacluster, which materialized on a stretch of US-31. Untrained road crews may also have been a factor. “We knew neglect of road repair would get pretty ugly,” Whorseu said. “But we never imagined things could get this bad. The people who fell in are gone man. Friggin’ gone.” A top team of NASA physicists have been flown in, but no strategy has been made public. “Things are getting pretty freaky down by the Bayshore,” NASA Chief Scientist Ellen Stofan said. “We have reason to believe that at any moment, Amelia Earhart will come flying out.”