Issue 4, the Black & Gold, Volume 92 by CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL

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For the latest in the Central/West rivalry, a profile on athlete extraordinaire Kalvis Hornburg ‘13 and the scoop on pond hockey, turn to page 5.

January 29, 2013

Volume 92

Black Gold

Issue 4

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2012 MIPA Spartan Award Winner

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Traverse City Central High School 1150 Milliken Drive, Traverse City, Michigan 49686

Newsline

Photo: S. Hutchison

Outdoorsman Club The Outdoorsman Club, a group with a love of outside activities, is looking for members. See Jeff Turner in room C-129 or visit the Facebook page if interested. “The outdoors is a place where you don’t have to worry about what other people think,” Ron Dohm ‘15 said. “You can just be yourself.”

Welcome, Chinese students

photography

Photo: A. Hilden

Photo editors Katie Raymond and Autumn Hilden, both ‘13, explore the moments that make high school special. From weight training to art class, turn to page 6 to see photos of your classmates.

a&e Photo: K. Raymond

Chinese exchange students Jiang Lianna, Jiang Chunyi and Wu Fangxi are part of the group of 50 students that arrived Jan. 21 from China. They will return Feb. 17. “We got here and everything was new, but everyone is very friendly,” Chunyi said. “The English is very hard for me, but I try my best to not be shy. I love this school.” The students are from the high school attached to Dalian Technological University. Chunyi noticed differences between Central and Dalian. “Our school day at home is a lot longer,” Chunyi said. “We start at 7 a.m. and go until 6 p.m.”

TCC sweeps debate championships The debate team saw unprecedented success, taking both the state championship and the Ziegelmueller Trophy. With Coach Carol Roehrich’s retirement, the question of who will be the team’s new leader is up for debate Photo: S. Hutchison

For the latest scoop on Michael Siciliano’s ‘14 Winter Drumline, a tribute to Jenn Miles’ influential life and reviews and recommendations on the latest movies, music and TV, turn to page 3.

Video journalism class

Photo: S. Hutchison

Starting third trimester, Central will be offering Broadcasting II, an in-depth course on radio and video broadcasting. See instructor Jim Filkins in the LMC if interested. “It’s an opportunity to do something real, a vocational school within a normal school,” Filkins said. “You don’t have to go to the Career Tech Center.”

Wolf-Schlarf honored

Kory Cole & Julian Vandenberg

T Staff Reporters

Traverse City Central’s debate team returned home with yet another state championship title, defending their position as reigning state champions. Team co-captain Michael Payne ‘13 was proud of the team’s accomplishment. “We had a ton of really interested, really smart kids,” Payne said. “For the team to win something this big is really awesome.” This debate season’s topic focused on the positive and negative aspects of increasing transportation infrastructure in the U.S. At tournaments, the team proposed expanding the use of high-speed rails. They worked to hone their vocalization, research and critical thinking skills. “In debate, everything comes down to saving humanity from nuclear war,” team co-captain Callie Chappell ‘13 said. “It helps you think very critically about the actions you take, and you gain a good knowledge of philosophy and current events.” To top off the triumph, the Trojans also walked away with the George W. Ziegelmueller award in hand. Nicknamed “Ziggy,” it’s awarded to the team with the highest overall points between their varsity and novice teams.

The state champion title reflected the strength of the team’s varsity debaters––the Ziggy award proved that TCC was skilled from top to bottom. “The novices we had this year were all bright students coming in,” Payne said. “We had a lot of intuitive kids that were able to catch on to how it worked quickly.” Chappell, who worked extensively with the novices at the daily debate practices, agreed. “Our debaters are extremely strong,” Chappell said. “We have four of the top ten novices in the

country right now.” The novices believe that much of their success is due to the captains’ hard work. “They have taught us so much,” novice debater Megan Puckett ‘16 said. “Any time of the day you could go ask them a question, and if they didn’t know the answer, they would go find out for you.” The debate captains’ instruction and the novices’ natural talents and hard work converged for amazing results at the final state tournaments. The novice debaters placed 2nd at the Michigan novice state debate tournament, and 1st

place in the novice division at the JV state tournament. The JV debaters made it to the semifinals at states. “This last weekend at the JV state finals, we ended up taking home the novice first place trophy,” Puckett said. “And every single team we took there won a speaker award.” Just a few years ago, the debate team was half its current size, and wasn’t recognized in Michigan as a serious competitor. “We were totally the underdogs,”

continued, page 7

Photo: S. Hutchison

Back row: Jack Smith ‘15, Nathan Jeschke ‘16, Kristina Curtiss ‘16, Michael Payne ‘13, Abbie Crick ‘16, Charlie Velis ‘15, Megan Puckett ‘16, Angelo Vozza ‘15, Coach Carol Roehrich. Front row: Clara Trippe ‘14, Skylar Thompson ‘13, Callie Chappell ‘13. Not pictured: Michael Siciliano ‘14, Ben Kunz ‘15, Kenny Zak ‘16.

“Kelsey’s Law” bans cell phone use for young drivers Katie Stanton

Editor-in-Chief and News Editor

Photo: S. Hutchison

Wendee Wolf-Schlarf, teacher and TCAPS K-12 Music Department Coordinator, was awarded Music Educator of the Year by the Michigan Music Education Association. “I’m very humbled,” Wolf-Schlarf said. “I hope that it brings a positive light to TCAPS music as a whole, because that’s a pride point of our community.”

Newly licensed drivers who use cellphones in transit will now be breaking the law, after Governor Rick Snyder signed new legislation Jan. 8 that will take effect in late March. The law prohibits drivers with a Level 1 or Level 2 license from using a cell phone while driving. All-Star Driver Education instructor Erika Halvorsen believes the law will make teen travel safer. “It reduces the amount of distraction while you’re driving and makes you focus on the one task at hand, driving,” Halvorsen said.

A Level 1 license, frequently called a “learner’s permit,” allows teenagers to drive when accompanied by an adult. Drivers receive their level 2 license when they turn 16 and pass their driving test, and graduate to a Level 3 license when they turn 17. Violating the law would mean a civil infraction, and $100 fine. Traverse City Central Liaison Officer Joe Soffredine explains that the new law is meant to prevent new drivers from being distracted by cell phones. “Generally with driving, the more you do it, the better you become,” Soffredine said, “and you’re just starting out learning certain nuances of traffic.” The bill was named “Kelsey’s Law” in honor

of Kelsey Raffaele, a 17-year old Sault Ste. Marie teenager who crashed her vehicle while talking on her phone and was killed. “Even the fact of the phone ringing is distracting,” Soffredine said, “because when your phone rings, the first thing you do is look at it to see who’s calling you, and you’re automatically distracted away from the road.” Integrated, voice-activated calling systems are exempt from the law. “Kelsey’s Law” joins other measures taken by the state legislature to curb teen driving accidents, namely the restriction on the amount of passengers that a Level 2 license holder can carry in their cars, and the prohibition on texting.

continued, page 7

2 Opinion

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Jan. 29, 2013

The gun show

Since the tragedy at Sandy Hook devastated the nation, political debate has centered around gun control laws. Here is how the stakeholders are lining up for the battle over reform legislation

P President’s Position

the Black & Gold

Editors-in-Chief

Katie Stanton Miranda Winowiecki

News Editor

As we face a national influenza epidemic, we need to put aside our petty excuses to avoid the flu immunization

Scott Hardin Leek Editor

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We live in the land of vaccinations and medications, the world’s capital of marketable cures and simple solutions. It’s an exciting time for modern medicine. There is, however, a cost. Side-effects span from mild drowsiness to internal bleeding, but we as a society have deemed medications and vaccinations a culturally acceptable risk in order to protect our health. After all, why not suffer a prick in the arm from a vaccine to avoid the excruciating pain of tetanus? This is why I’m incredibly awestruck when I hear friends say they won’t get vaccinated for influenza, sometimes by their own decision but more often by that of a parent, because “vaccines are too dangerous.” However, the side effects of a flu shot go about as far as a soreness of the arm, while also offering protection from a considerably more insidious virus, one that takes the lives of over 23,000 people per year, according to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This is not the kind of danger that people should be exposing themselves or their children to. Avoiding the flu is more than worth the risk, especially since it is impossible to be infected by the dead strains

Sports Editor

Miranda Winowiecki

Leek Editors

of the flu virus contained in the vaccine. So the reason people avoid flu vaccinations can only be one thing—the vaccines don’t work! Actually, this is contrary to the truth. The effectiveness of the vaccine varies year-to-year, but is almost always high enough to warrant vaccination. This year alone, the vaccine has an average of 60 percent effectiveness, and is, in particular, 55 percent effective against this year’s major strain, H3N2. No one should deprive themselves or others of that protection, and if someone does not want to be able to say they have under half the chance of contracting a potentially deadly virus as the person sitting next to them, please stand up. However, science may not convince everyone, so let’s break down the ethics. “So what if I get the flu? I’ll just be sick for a week, it’s not that bad,” is the kind of thing I hear a lot, and maybe that’s right. But before writing off the vaccination because of a lackluster care for your own health, consider those around you. While the flu may only mean a week of lazing by the TV with a box of Kleenex for a healthy young adult, it could spell death for a child or elderly person that who comes in contact with someone afflicted with the flu. At risk populations such as children and the elderly don’t have the immune systems of healthy young adults, and we’ve already seen 20 children die in the U.S., four alone in Michigan. If someone refuses to get vaccinated, they put the greater public in danger. continued, page 7

Photo Editors

Autumn Hilden Katie Raymond

Scott Hardin Jake Myers

Graphics Editor

Opinion Editor

Business Manager

Illustration Editor

Feature Editor

Packaging Editors

Staff Reporters

Lia Williams

A&E Editors David Reinke Bryton Lutes

“The gun laws right now aren’t that strict. The government should mandate guns that are coming off the Photo: T. Bell black market.” -Brandon Henton ‘13

“The gun laws are good now, but I would want teachers to start carrying guns so an intruder wouldn’t be Photo: T. Bell able to attack me” -Dianthia Barnum ‘14

Vaccinations are no FLUke Letter to the Editor

Katie Stanton Ivy Baillie

Central was built in the 1950’s, when school shootings were unheard of. Nestled next to our bucolic woods, yet right in town,

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SUZANNE VENKER Nothing is more entertaining than a classic, “he said, she said,” battle of the sexes. Fox News contributor Suzanne Venker published an article entitled, “The war on men,” which called attention to the shift of gender roles since the sexual revolution of the 60’s. Though occasionally tasteless, her arguments are ballsy—Venker refreshingly calls her fellow women out on their man-hating ways. A new era of gender norms has befallen society. Women are starting to bring home the bacon and even men have noted this shift. Within just 40 years, no longer do women stay home and rear children. Venker says she’s encountered many men who claim, “women aren’t women anymore.” This role blurring is equally confusing to women. After the second wave feminist movement, to succeed in the workplace some women made men into the enemy and have been instilling these ideologies into generations since. “Men have been to blame since feminists first took the streets in the 1970’s,” Venker claims. Women now close to their 70’s watched lesser educated, and more inexperienced men get promoted when all they could ascend to was taking dictation, getting coffee and making copies. Although there is some data to support discrimination in the workplace, women are entering law and medical schools at a higher rate than men. We have a woman as Secretary of State. As Venker says: the men hating of the 60’s was then, but this is now. For her refreshing outlook on men hating, ballsiness in calling out women, willingness to invoke extreme views, yet remain unflinching, take heed of Suzanne Venker.

Our School’s Security

. Ko

Editor-in-Chief and Sports Editor

“I would ban all automatic weapons from public use because they are so easy to get and it’s too easy to hurt Photo: T. Bell someone.” -Hanna Helton ‘16

as mentally unstable, yet legally obtained a gun and killed 33 people. While mental illness is a huge concern in gun violence, we are also concerned about HIPAA reform stigmatizing the mentally ill--once flagged in a database, it is hard to get one’s name removed. Post treatment, many live functioning, healthy lives and are contributing members to society.

our school was designed to be a welcoming place for the entire community. Nothing says “welcome” more than our over 70 entrances and exits can even be driven right up to classroom windows to do who knows what. School’s aren’t built like ours anymore: now school architecture is designed to keep people out and to keep people in. At the Black and Gold, we feel that most Central students are not ready to give up the freedoms we enjoy on this campus. Retrofitting our school to more of a so-called “Post Columbine Architecture” would not only likely be cost prohibitive, but it would no longer look or feel like Central. While a new design to our building may keep us more safe, it is not guaranteed to keep intruders away. Sandy Hook Elementary’s doors were locked after all of the students arrived, and visitors had to be buzzed in. Yet this didn’t stop Adam Lanza from blasting out the main entrance glass barrier. Perhaps an armed guard might have made a difference. Maybe. We think some of these gun reforms are needed. But the startling truth is that if some zealot wants to cause mayhem in a school, they will stop at nothing, extra security notwithstanding. There are some measures we could take here at Central, securing just a few primary entrances, for example, but we enjoy our open, welcoming school more than one that makes us feel that we are serving twenty to life.

hic: A

Miranda Winowiecki

“Teachers should have guns with them, so they could shoot an intruder before the intruder would be able Photo: T. Bell to shoot students.” -Jon Laskey ‘15

and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA) and its regulations (the “Privacy Rule” and the “Security Rule”) protect patients’ privacy. If HIPAA is reformed, medical professionals would be able to discuss and share information about patients freely with other professionals and load this information into a database. Mental illness has played a key role in 49 shootings since 1982, in which the assailant obtained a gun legally, yet had shown signs of mental instability. Many recall the Virginia Tech shootings, in which a student was labeled by his doctors, the school and his parents

Grap

JEANNE RUTH VERTEFEUILLE Jetting off to exotic locales, wielding hightech weapons, catching bad guys after thrilling chases—with the promise of a glamorous life like that, who wouldn’t want to be a spy? But the life of a Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) operative isn’t as perfect as it is portrayed in movies, especially for women. The historically male-dominated profession means women fight tooth-and-nail for respect. Jeanne Ruth Vertefeuille, a respected female CIA operative, recently died. She uncovered one of the most infamous traitors in American history. In 1954, Vertefeuille joined the CIA as a typist, a common path back in the day for women to enter the CIA. She worked hard and was rewarded with promotions and foreign postings. For the operation that defined her career, Vertefeuille lead a small task force to discover why Russian double spies hired by the CIA had been disappearing. During Vertefeuille’s time, CIA women didn’t have it easy. Despite their natural tactfulness and resourcefulness, they were often stuck in dead-end positions, passed over for promotions and given minimal operational postings. The team worked on the case for almost eight years. Finally, in ‘92, just months before her retirement, the case was solved, in no small part thanks to Vertefeuille’s expertise on Soviet weaponry. Vertefeuille’s tireless work on this case is admirable. She proved to be not just an excellent female operative, but an excellent CIA operative. Her success in a field dominated by men is inspirational. The groundbreaking work of agents like Vertefeuille cracked the spy world’s glass ceiling, and made CIA careers possible for women. For her persistence, guts and intelligence, take heed of Jeanne Ruth Vertefeuille.

:N .M

Katie Stanton

Editor-in-Chief and News Editor

Gra phi c

Graphic: A. Korson

We look up to the brave, intelligent and independent thinkers of the fairer sex. We highlight those special ladies here

cover in the crowd pleasing promAs President Barack Obama readies ise of protecting the innocent from the mentally unstable by tightening for another four years, gun control school security. However, Obama is at the top of his policy agenda. will have to go to battle on his posiHis administration quickly outlined tion on assault rifles. He wants to 23 proposals to ensure that Ameriban these and also high powered cans feel safer from gun violence. These include limiting the ability of magazines that hold more than ten rounds. the mentally ill to purchase guns, NRA’s Position and reforming our background The NRA has long been vigilant check system, specifically, the in protecting Second Amendment so-called “gun show” loophole. In rights. They are giving no quarter many jurisdictions, gun purchasers on assault weapons. However, need to be licensed, but firearms NRA President David Keene can be purchased at gun shows or agrees with Obama’s genbetween individuals without backeral statements about the ground checks. We at the Black and Gold agree that reforming the background check system is a logical step. The president also focused his mental health debate on troubled youth. Obama highlighted that much of the reform should be identifying the mentally ill as their mentally unsickness emerges, often stable. The NRA during their juvenile or proposed armed guards early adulthood years. in all schools, and that He seeks $75 million for educators be armed, state programs to idenshould they choose. tify high-risk youth, and Graphic: A. Korson “The only thing that to train more mental health stops a bad guy with a gun is a professionals. “We are going to good guy with a gun,” CEO and need to work on making access to Executive Vice President of the mental health care as easy as access NRA, Wayne LaPierre, said. While to a gun,” President Barack Obama armed guards may work in states said. Interestingly, it’s not just the like Virginia, Texas and Wyoming, left that’s concerned about the we like our cops carrying guns and mentally ill and guns--the National our teachers carrying computers. Rifle Association (NRA), along Mental Health with many gun rights advocates The Health Insurance Portability also agree. Both left and right find

Graphic: A. Korson

Bryton Lutes

Sophie Hutchison Fiona Muha

Nick Mulvaine Alex Korson

Mady Basch Tyger Bell Emma Caldwell Kory Cole Jeff Comerford

Hunter Kelly Garrett Kosch Erin Lipp Maddi Miller John Minster Alec Reznich Patrizia Rietmann Hayley Rozema Isabel Schuler Allison Taphouse Julian Vandenberg Marc Weber

I write to explain the student’s perspective on the article “New dance policy controversial” in the previous issue. There are two views, the administration’s, that previous dancing was inappropriate, and the students,’ that have grown up with this type of dancing. These dances have been essential to high school and they’re a key to enjoying this year. Dances unite all social groups of the student body. That’s why there has been a dance, not affiliated with TCAPS, organized outside of school. The Stay Gold dance will be at the Park Place Dome, February 22 from 9:00 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. Tickets are $7 before, $9 at the door and are sold by Central students. I respect the administration’s prerogative to establish rules; however, in the process of enforcing their new policy, they are suppressing our individual expression. Ironically, the administration allowed inappropriate music videos to be played at “The DANCE dance” which displayed grinding, girls making out and Justin Timberlake ripping a girl’s clothes off. Essentially, these are videos that you must be 18 to watch on YouTube. How hypocritical is it that the administration allowed this to be played in an effort to model appropriate dance? Stay Gold is in response to these restrictions and is by the students, for the students. Stay Gold’s name isn’t only for Central’s main color, it describes what we, the students are doing— being true to ourselves. We’ll not conform to all that society dictates, but instead continue to march to the beat of our own drum. -Brady Girard ‘13

Shoot us an email at theblackandgold.opinion@gmail.com or drop off a letter to the editor in room F-158

Some corrections

-We misspelt Alpena on our Sports page -Courtney Dye ‘13 plays the viola not the violin, as was incorrectly reported -We misspelt Austin Maison’s ‘12 name along with Graham BeVier’s ‘14 name -We accidentally included an edit in the story “Finding his way” on the Feature page

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold

Jan. 29, 2013

Drumline in Winter

A&E

The blue-suited boys and girls drum to the winter beat

S Allison Taphouse

Staff Reporter

Scrolling through Youtube videos of drum corps performances was a typical Saturday pastime for tenor drum player Michael Siciliano ‘14. But after stumbling across Winter Drumline performances, Siciliano became inspired to start a similar program that would feature students from both Central and West. “What Winter Drumline really does is it showcases the talent that we have in percussion,” Siciliano said. “A lot of times, especially in the band setting, you do not get to appreciate what percussionists are capable of.” Moving from inspiration to group meetings required Siciliano’s persistence; he researched the competitive process and realized he could start a Winter Drumline club here. “I did get a lot of cooperation from administration, which made it possible,” Siciliano said. In pursuit of Drumline members, Siciliano spread word through his close knit group of percussionists within Central’s band class and he recruited fellow percussionists at West as well. Students from both schools practice on recently purchased drum sets at Central from 5:00-8:00 p.m., Tues. and Thurs. “There aren’t actually any other competitive music programs, band wise, right now that we are participating in,” Siciliano said. “So, this is the first competitive circuit that Traverse City has participated in.” The chance to be able to participate in a competition exclusively for Drumline allows musicians, whose sound is normally masked by other instruments, to be heard and shine. The group is comprised of five bass drums, two tenor drums, three snare drums and pit section, keyboard, marimba, xylophone, bass, shaker and suspended cymbal. For younger players like Cara Ferguson ‘16, Winter Drumline is also a learning experience. “Playing with more experienced players has helped my skills,” Ferguson said. “I think that when you can play with people that are better than you, it makes you a better player. I’ve also definitely gotten better at listening because playing in an indoor space, you can hear better and that helped me pick out individual sounds.” Winter Drumline is working towards a Feb. 9 competition in Troy, MI. They will be competing in the scholastic A level, where they will be judged on both their instrumental performance and choreography. “If the judges notice even a single note that isn’t together, they will mark you down,” snare drum player David Stone ‘14 said. “If you look

Graphic: N. Mulvaine

We give you our expertise on the latest in entertainment. Starting with reviews (the good and the bad) and finishing with recommendations

Bryton Lutes Photo: S. Hutchison

Photo: S. Hutchison

(Clockwise from the top left) 1. Focused on keeping time with the rest of the ensemble, Noah Mitchell-Ward ‘14 plays his vibraphone. “Music for me is just something special that I can’t really live without,” he said. “It’s a way of thinking and a way of expressing your ideas.” 2. Keeping rhythm, Lucas Corona ’13 beats methodically on his drum.“The more I listen to music, the more I hear things I wouldn’t usually be aware of,” he said. “When I listen, I have deeper understanding of music, and it helps me develop my musical ear.” 3. Practicing her marching, Cara Ferguson ‘16 isn’t worried about performing in front of a panel. “I’ve been judged on performance before, so it doesn’t really bother me,” she said. “Being judged just gives me more incentive to do better.” 4. Caught in the gusto of Drumline practice, Quinn Manley ‘15 taps away on his marimbas intently. “I’ve been around music my whole life and I love it,” he said. “The Drumline is just another world of music I’ve found.”

like you are really into your performance, that counts for a lot.” Because the group stands alone as just the drumline, the focus is enhanced on the drill choreography aspect. “The difficulty of the drill is incomprehensible compared to what we were doing during the marching season,” Siliciano said. The group will be performing a four-minute long performance to the song “Something in Blue,” the piece written specifically for Drumline performance. “We will be wearing blue, which is actually

fantastic because then we don’t have to pick between one of the school’s colors,” Siciliano said. “It also goes along perfectly to the title of the song.” Even though the Winter Drumline season isn’t over yet, the group of musicians look forward to continuing Siciliano’s legacy in future years. “Michael just took the initiative and now that it’s actually happened, I am really excited to be a part of it,” Ferguson said. “I know I can gain so much from it and I think it’s allaround rewarding.”

TV: American Idol It’s no wonder that with a new year comes yet another slew of celebrity judges with flashy $12 million contracts for the twelfth season of Fox’s spectacle show, American Idol. But do the judges have the potential to raise interest in the dying show? Enter rapper Nicki Minaj and Pop diva Mariah Carey, whose well-manicured claws are more interesting than the auditioners’ sob stories. The drama-filled duo take away the original ideologies behind the show and steal the spotlight with their diva-esque displays. Nevertheless, the clashing of their cheetah prints and pink wigs make this season as entertaining as a glittery catfight. B Music: “Suit & Tie” by Justin Timberlake It’s been seven years since the former “Sexy Back” singer, Justin Timberlake, entered the music studio. Now married, Timberlake has since sashayed back into the music industry with his single “Suit & Tie” being his prelude to his upcoming album The 20/20 Experience. But does it hold up to our expectations? No. Timberlake rambles throughout the five minutes with awkward transitions interspersed throughout, and not even featured Jay-Z can save Timberlake’s dying art. “Suit & Tie” sounds like the former boy-band survivor hopped in the music studio with the intent of swooning the cougars. Let us hope that Jessica Biel isn’t Timberlake’s musical inspiration. D+

David Reinke A&E Editor

Sophie Hutchison Winter Drumline demonstrates the gymnasticly-inspired “upsidedown tenor”

Reviews Movie: Mama Mama reveals the story of two young girls, Victoria and Lilly, whose unfortunate family life leaves them stranded in a shack in the woods for five years. After being discovered, the girls are reunited with their uncle Lucas and his punk rock girlfriend Annabel, who are granted custody. The cinematography is dark with creative angles depicting the now animalistic girls with a ghost they refer to as “Mama.” Mama, however, doesn’t follow the clichéd script of calm by day and spooky by nightfall. It’s crafted with creepy tension even at the breakfast table. The child actors and the chilling ghost make the film consistently creepy, but once the film reaches its climax, the genre changes from horror story to dark fairytale with the scare factor dissipating. B

Pick ‘em up and drum away Packaging Editor

A&E and Business Editor

Photo: S. Hutchison

First step: Tenor Makenzie Mattis ‘13, stands on her hands and flips her legs over the helper, Noah Mitchell-Ward’s ‘14, shoulders, who holds her legs as she hangs upside down.

Second step: The tenor is then handed her drumsticks and balances herself in preperation for the topsy-turvy maneuver. Adjustings are applied if necessary.

Photo: S. Hutchison

Third step: Two more helpers bring her the drumset and hold it upsidedown above her. The tenor then proceeds with her gravitydefying drum solo.

Jenn Miles: In Memoriam What aspects of production will be most difficult in Jenn’s absence? Abbey Kaufman ‘13 “She commanded and demanded attention. I think that people knowing her background and knowing where she came from really earned her a lot of respect from the students. She was somewhat intimidating, in a really good way. She was able to get the group back together and get everyone back on track. She was just always very patient working with the kids, working with the directors and the parents and the volunteers.”

McKenna Cartwright ‘13

Photo: Coutesy of Stephen Dillon at Windborne

Alec Reznich Staff Reporter

On Jan. 3, beloved stage manager, mentor and friend Jennifer “Jenn” Miles passed away at Munson Medical Center with her family at her side. She was just 42. The go-to figure in the theatre community, Jenn had actively stage-managed productions since the early ‘90s working with Leland Public Schools, Cherry Capital Chorus, Miracle Productions, Northport Community Arts Center, Central and West Senior High and Old Town Playhouse. With her commanding persona and booming voice, Jenn oversaw everything at Central productions from scene changes to prop checks. Her show-must-go-on perseverance carried the cast past the inevitable frustration in high school productions. Because she demanded excellence each tech week, we produced memorable opening shows. Her relationship with the cast and crew set her apart from other managers. She continually sacrificed her time and effort to help performers, but never lost her patience. Jenn was an integral component in Central’s productions, and her love and charisma near the stage will never be forgotten.

Photo: T. Bell

“Her commanding nature, because it is already hard enough to get people to listen backstage. They listened to her because they knew she was getting the job done and she made sure she did it right. It’s going to be hard to find someone who will inflict that kind of nature in people. She wanted to have the show run smoothly, which is basically the only way with high school kids.”

Matthias Copeland ‘14 “The management of backstage will be very difficult to reproduce, and a different stage manager that is adequate and equal to her will be difficult to find. She was just so invested in what she did. Jenn knew how to work the actors. She could handle some crazy kids, because these kids get wild sometimes. She knew how to take control, and knew when control needed to be taken.”

Photo: T. Bell

Tori Fisher ‘13

Photo: T. Bell

“The exactness of everything. Every prop had to be in the right place. Even if it was the silliest of things, Jenn would freak out if it wasn’t there and she was right every time. She revered what they were doing, but she had really high expectations for the production crew so that the kids who were acting would have a great show. She was a little harsher to us, but it got stuff done, and it was a great show. I think nobody else has that same sense of detail or orientation of the stage. She’s going to be hard to replace.”

Recommendations Movie: Django Unchained Director Quentin Tarantino is famous for his encyclopedic knowledge of film lore. Spaghetti Westerns, Blaxploitation cinema, Japanese samurai films—he has studied them all. Django, the story of a redemption-seeking slave and his bounty hunter companion, turns artsy-fartsy in the homages to these genres, but in a good way. The dense material coupled with preternatural shots (an image of blood spattering over pristine white cotton comes to mind) are Tarantino staples—nothing new, yet somehow overdue. Christoph Waltz thrives as eccentric dentist turned bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz, with a gun up his sleeve. Waltz’s performance goes unrivaled until the late arrival of plantation-owning villain Calvin Candie, played by Leonardo DiCaprio. Together, taking lead from former slave Django, played by Jamie Foxx, the characters spur the “woah-wait!-grab-your britches” finale into dust-raising hell. Awesome. TV: Scandal The Oval Office windows haven’t been this steamy since the Clinton Administration. Olivia Pope, owner of a crisis management company, has the job of preserving the public image of President Grant and the side-job of White House homewrecker. Pope is steadfast in her ability to fabricate cover-ups. Though the affair is certainly scandalous, the show does not rely on it for the audience’s attention, choosing instead to celebrate the historically recent breakthrough of women into politics with bold characters. First Lady Mellie Grant is the wicked antagonist—the sort of witchy woman we fear all First Ladies may have been like. It’s easy to understand how the political setting could muddle each character’s story—it’s difficult to enjoy a drama where the most interesting turn of events is Tax Day—yet the writers manage to pull it off with riveting intensity. Music: Fade by Yo La Tengo This is the definitive soundtrack to a road trip, alternative folky perfection. An album with a complete rejection to any-and-all agendas, Fade finds its different flavors as it goes. Though each song has a “looking-back” motif, the tunes in general request that we take a trip to nowhere, offering cozy comfort in place of the demand other albums place on the mind. One song coasts with a train, another swims through a lake, another yet bumps to the backroads of America. Fade doesn’t quite get the gumption to say anything worthy of an epiphany, but one gets the feeling that this was the band’s intention all along. From the head-swaying loveliness of “Stupid Things,” to the nostalgic glory of “The Point of It,” Fade shrugs off the itinerary in search of grinning good times. Graphics: N. Mulvaine

4 Year in Review

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold

2012

News

Sports

Jan. 29, 2013

Lance Armstrong

With many world records set and new stars emerging, the 2012 Olympics wowed audiences all over the globe

After a decade of denial, Armstrong finally admits to using performance-enhancing drugs during his seven Tour de France conquests

“It’s pretty cool because it’s never been done before. It’s amazing to think about, but I’m afraid of heights. I don’t know if it helped science at all. It was more of a publicity thing, but it was still super cool.” -Ethan Schuh ‘16

“The London Olympics were incredible. I enjoy watching all the athletes across the world compete. It was interesting watching all of the young talent from America excel. My favorite part was watching Misty May and Kerri Walsh win their third consecutive gold in beach volleyball.” -Austin Harrison ‘13

“It’s extremely disappointing to see that Lance didn’t do it all by himself. It was a great story and it’s a shame things happened like they did. It’s nice that he is finally coming clean and I think it is fair that all of his wins were revoked.” -Yani Beeker ‘14

2012 Presidential election

Pop Culture

Stratosphere jump 2012 Olympics in London Felix Baumgartner shocked the world by skydiving an estimated 24 miles and breaking the sound barrier

Despite a close race, Barack Obama regains office for four years

“Although I don’t agree with all of Obama’s policies, I think that he was the lesser of the two evils for that election. He is more progressive on social issues, and his economic policy is better for what’s happening in the U.S. right now than Romney’s. Finally, I think he’s just a more honest, down-to-earth guy.” -Aaron Smits ‘14

Honey Boo Boo Alana Thompson, better known as Honey Boo Boo, struck big in 2012 with a TLC reality TV show

“Honey Boo Boo is an overweight redneck that does beauty pageants, and somehow has become famous for it. At first, I was disgusted with Honey Boo Boo, but she grew on me. My favorite Honey Boo Boo line is, ‘A dolla make me holla Honey Boo Boo child.’ It makes me laugh every time. Honey Boo Boo is the Shirley Temple of our generation.” -Sierra Rancour ‘15

2012’s slang is the American teenager’s biggest excuse “When I first heard YOLO, I thought about chocolate. But those are Rolos. People say YOLO every time they do something dangerous or bad, but they should really be more cautious because you only live once.” -Isabel Lutz ‘16

Tragedies

End of the world

Zeke Goodwin

The Mayan calendar ended Dec. 21, 2012, but fortunately nothing cataclysmic occured “I was honestly scared for the twenty-first, even though it seemed unlikely that the world would actually end. It’s embarrassing, but there was always that ‘what if?’ I think most people thought it was a joke. On the twenty-first when I woke up, I just laughed. I didn’t do anything crazy. I didn’t YOLO. I just went on with my life.” -Lauren Marsh ‘14

You Only Live Once

Photo: courtesy of J. Goodwin

Heartbroken, our community will forever remember Zeke Goodwin in our hearts

“Zeke’s death was such a loss to the community.He was always smiling and happy. You could tell he really enjoyed life. The Goodwins have gone through so much, and seeing them like that is a loss, but they are so strong. They’re an encouragement to us.” -Aleksa Szunko ‘14

Memes

Even though this form of social commentary contains tidbits of wit and humor, McKayla Maroney is not impressed “Memes are any picture that has a caption to improve it or make it more funny. They have been around for quite some time, but the Internet and advancement of phones have made them more accessible. Memes express the creativity of our society.” -Jeff McAndrews ‘13

Hurricane Sandy The largest Atlantic hurricane recorded killed upwards of 253 people and devasted seven countries, while wreaking havoc on our presidential election “I was shocked. I don’t remember hearing about a hurricane that big since Hurricane Katrina. I was worried because my brother was going to school right where it was all happening. People were amazed at how big it was. Nobody really knew how to handle it or what to do. Everybody was talking about it for days, and I think people will be talking about it for a while.” -Erin Cover ‘13

Aurora and Sandy Hook Shootings

This violent crime against law and humanity shocked the nation and the world. The second deadliest school shooting in history, our nation will never forget the lives lost

Reporting: F. Muha, G. Kosch, L. Williams, M. Miller Layout: F. Muha Graphics: A. Korson

“The first time I heard about the Sandy Hook shooting, I couldn’t believe it. It hit me because the kids were so young. The shootings made people aware of how schools are run. Everyone’s more cautious now, and I think students are more aware of how their actions affect the community.” -Katie Cooney ‘14

Sports

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Jan. 29, 2013

Central, West go head-to-head Future greats walk the halls of Central every day, from future politicians to young chemists. Here, the future greats of the sports world are decorated a few years early because of the dedication, persistence and outstanding athletic ability they show

The Trojans and Titans faced off in four different sports within the last two weeks. Hockey reigned supreme, while wresteling and boys and girls basketball fell just short. Here, the intense game or match between each team is highlighted, key players are featured

Erin Lipp

Staff Reporter

“The memories of these games can be lifelong. They can be positive whether you win or lose on the court, field, or ice because in the end the relationships you have on your team and with the team across town create memories that you’ll remember.” - Athletic Director

Cody Inglis

V.S.

Graphic: N. Mulvain

Photo: S. Hutchison

Miranda Winowiecki

Editor-in-Chief, Sports Editor The icy wind whips through his helmet as his twin tips are still for only moments before he blasts out of the gate and the steep plummet begins. Three... Two...One...the stillness in the air yields to flying snow and ice kicked from Kalvis Hornburg’s ‘13 edges. He thunders through the first of many gates down the slope, flawlessly threading his way to the bottom. Hornburg, the current boys Trojan downhill ski captain, is a future great. One day, he will grace the United States with the International Ski Federation (FIS) Alpine Ski World Cup. The Alpine Ski World Cup has been coveted since 1966. The World Cup is awarded to international skiers who compete in five different events: slalom, giant slalom, super G, downhill, and combined, which employs downhill and slalom. The Cup holds major prestige, and winning means endorsements and renown. It is often viewed more valuable than the Olympics or biennial World Championships, so athletes don’t have to just nail one race, they have to be consistent throughout the season. Previous winners in the men’s competition include Marcel Hirscher, Ivica Kostelić, and Carlo Janka. Hornburg has been skiing for 15 years and has progressed to the level he has through his hard work and training. Though he hasn’t applied his work ethic to just skiing through the years. Hornburg is one of the hardest working student-athletes at Central. He is a member of Choral-Aires and Sci-Ma-Tech and maintains a stratospheric GPA — all while participating in a sport which requires its athletes to miss school often and travel to Schuss Mountain just for practice. And a tough sport at that. Imagine yourself in Hornburg’s skiing boots — standing at the top of the hill for anywhere up to a half hour in negative wind chills waiting for his run. Hornburg’s hard work on his academics and skiing that could potentially get him the World Cup one day, landed him an acceptance letter to Harvard University. A pretty fair trade-off if you ask me. I can guarantee I’m not the only one who looks up to Hornburg for his leadership and his accomplishments in high school and anticipates what he will accomplish later in life. I bestow upon skier extreme Kalvis Hornburg the Alpine Ski World Cup. Hornburg, a once and future great.

Taylor Cobb ‘14 moves the ball down the court while her team and coaches watch from the bench. “This was our best game as a team even though we lost. We had good defense, offense and communication.” Cobb felt that though she could have personally player stronger, she delivered a pretty solid game.

Photo: courtesy of J. Cockfield

Kalvis Hornburg ‘13 weaves his way through a gate in a Giant Slalom BNC race at Caberfae Mountain. Hornburg has dedicated his time to academics and skiing the last four years and his hard work has paid off. “It’s looked good on apps and it really helped me stand out,” Hornburg said. “Just being from Northern Michigan helped too, since they don’t see many kids coming from there. I had the grades and my extra-curriculars really helped, and being able to do good at that high level. Skiing really helped. I wrote one of my essays about skiing and got to really touch on that so the experience of having that really helped set me apart from all the other other applicants.”

Scanning the court for his next move is Taylor Cook ‘13. “We had good communication and teamwork the whole time until the the last four minutes when it fell a part,” Cook said. “They had a run and we just couldn’t play defense, we couldn’t stop them.” The Central vs. West rivalry on the boys basketball court is intense. “We hate each other. If you win this game you get bragging rights and it’s a big deal. We really aren’t friendly at all, we don’t like each other

Photo: S. Hardin

Defense player, Dereck Schrank ‘14 struggles against West’s number 5 for the puck in Central’s third straight win of the Jeff McCullough Memorial Challenge Cup. “Our communication and teamwork was a lot better than it has been,” Schrank said, “which showed because we had more scoring chances.” Schrank says he “played well and took advantage of the ice time he was given.”

Hockey

Score: 2-1, W

Key Players: Brady Brantley, Cooper Macdonell, Nico Saco, all ‘13, Buddy Rose, Derek Schrank, both ‘14, Cooper Marshall ‘15, Jon Russell ‘16 “Both teams handle it well. They are battling out on the ice, but are good friends, and you could see that when they’re shaking hands after the game.” - Head Coach Chris Givens

Photo: S. Hutchison

Sean Monnier ‘14 battles West opponent during the duo meet on Weds. Jan. 16th. “I was aggressive and I didn’t feel out-muscled so that was good, but I need to work on staying low and not giving up bad positions,” Monnier said. “I kinda just asked for him to take me down, I gave him my leg.”

What does the rivalry mean to your team? Wrestling

Score: 84-0, L

Girls Basketball Boys Basketball

Score: 32-35, L

Key Players: Sean Monnier and Josiah Lopez-Wild, both ‘14

Key Players: Tyler Rawlings, Madi Bankey, Karlie Acton, all ‘13

“It’s friendly competition, the guys all know each other. There’s a camaraderie along with competition.” - Head Coach Dave Haughn

“It’s an important game to the players, coaches and students on both sides of town. Both teams really want to win so you’ll always see a great game.” - Head Coach Ryan Knudsen

Score: 48-58, L

Key Players: Ethan Pilarski, Taylor Cook, both ‘13

“It’s a higher intensity than games against other teams. They know a lot of the kids they’re playing against. They want to get bragging rights and don’t want to let the school down by losing.” - Head Coach Tim Turner

Central pond hockey players hit the ice From East Bay to backyards, nature provides hockey’s essentials

The motivation behind the creation of his rink, comes from Russell’s father. “Hockey was a big part of my dad’s life,” Russell said, “so he wanted to make it big for us, so he started by turning our backyard into an ice arena.” Staff Reporter To make Russell’s rink, he first made outer boards, and then laid down the As the sun catches on tarp, next he added the inner boards to protect the outer boards. Finally, he the ice and their skates glide across East Bay, veteran pond hockey players Japut in about four inches of water in, but depending on how cold it gets, the cob Gerstner and Christopher Chang both ’14 head out for recreational pond ice thickness varies. hockey behind Chang’s beach-front home. “The hardest part of making the rink is definitely trying to get the ice “We just wanted to play pond hockey,” Chang said. “So we shoveled off smooth and not having leaking problems with the tarp,” Russell said. “And the East Bay, and used it as our personal rink.” weather can be really bad which does not make very good ice at all. This year For the first time, Gerstner and Chang created their own rink to enjoy the has not been very good for ice, and last year was terrible.” sport they love at their leisure. What distinguishes pond hockey, from hockey Although Russell uses his personal in the rink is not just the level of competipond rink to improve his technique, tion. In the pond version the game is played mostly it’s just for play. outdoors and the ice is provided by either “The rink outside is definitely more Mother Nature or the garden hose. Further, for fun,” Russell said. “I guess when you there is no Zamboni to ensure smooth have some friends over, you’ll keep score skating. and stuff, but it’s not that intense, just “The uneven surface effects our skating, more fun.” because it makes it more tricky to skate,” Russell enjoys many things about pond Chang said. “sometimes it causes us to hockey, but competitive indoor hockey randomly fall.” wins. Gerstner and Chang cleared off a roughly “I’m a very competitive kid,” Russell 20 by 20’ square. While neither plays on the said, “And it’s much more competitive hockey team, they still enjoy the game. inside.” “Playing out on the bay is way better than When not playing games, the hockey playing inside, because you’re just out with team practices Monday through Friday, the people you want,” Chang said. “When for about an hour. However on his pond you’re on the bay, with the sun up, you can’t rink, Russell just tries to hit the ice as really beat that.” much as possible. Michigan’s unpredictable weather presents “The best part of having my own rink Photo: courtesy of A. Olson the boys with their greatest challenge. is being able to go out and skate when “We never really know if the ice is frozen” Jack Dulude ‘14 enjoys pond hockey on Christopher Chang’s ‘14 the conditions are good,” Russell said, Chang said. “A lot of times we have to just back-yard rink on East Bay. “My favorite part is bing able to play with “but the worst part is either waiting for step through the ice but where we skate, the friends and not be on a team,” Dulude said. “It’s fun because I have the ice to get good and getting frustrated water is really shallow.” friends with rinks so you can get a bunch of people together and when its not good, or shoveling the ice.” Trojan hockey player Jon Russell ’16 also have a good time.” Whether for recreational or competienjoys pond hockey, so much so that he has tive purposes, pond hockey is more than just a game. his own private 100 by 50’ rink. “The best time I’ve ever had playing pond hockey was the first time we “The rink basically takes up the entire backyard,” Russell said. “In the spring, played this season,” Chang said. “It was a really sunny day, there were lots of the grass around the edges has a harder time growing back every year. The people and no one was worrying about anything. We were just out playing grass in the middle died years ago, and it hasn’t recovered to this day.” hockey.”

Maddi Miller

6 Photography

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold

Jan. 29, 2013

Photo: K. Raymond

Do you see what I see?

Photo: K. Raymond

Photo: A. Hilden

Photo: K. Raymond

Photo: A. Hilden

Photo: K. Raymond

STUDENT LIFE

Central students are captured doing the things that make waking up early, dealing with late homework, and nagging teachers all worth the hard work. Each student has their own niche, whether it be painting or playing sports. Photo editors, Autumn Hilden and Katie Raymond both ‘13, catch the moments that make Central the diverse and creative community it is.

8. Leah Potter ‘13 9. Lily Bussineau ‘13 10. Kaylee Eley ‘13

Photo: K. Raymond

Photo: A. Hilden

9. Photo: A. Hilden

Photo: K. Raymond

Photo: A. Hilden

10.

Photo: A. Hilden

Photo: K. Raymond

1. Connor Brady ‘13 2. Callie Bartkowiak ‘14 3. Rachel Hayes ‘13 4. Luke Lints ‘13 5. Paige Emmott ‘13 6. Kalvis Hornburg ‘13 7. Isabel Lutz ‘16

From left to right: Zachary Wables ‘15, Hannah Fasel ‘14, Sophia Saco ‘16, Andrea Longton ‘16, Gabbie Ammond ‘16, Kristen Patterson ‘15, Kayla Jackson ‘15, Alex Oliver ‘15, Nick Barger ‘15, Alison Stewart ‘13, Cobe Ferris ‘15

Photo: A. Hilden

Photo: K. Raymond

10.

1. Channing Bornschein ‘14 2. Gary Lord ‘14 3. Natasha Herrera ‘16 4. 5. Ashley Dittrich ‘16 6. Marissa Boursaw ‘15 7. Samantha Mosley ‘13 8. Brittany Clarkson ‘15 9. Calli Helferich ‘16 10. Alexis Parker ‘16c

Ads

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Jan. 29, 2013

Flu Vaccinations continued from opinion It is not an exaggeration to say that through their negligence they could indirectly kill a child. What we have available to us is an extremely low risk vaccination that will cut your chances in over half of contracting a virus that takes tens

Debate team continued from front page varsity debater Skylar Thompson ‘13 said. “No one expected us to do well at all. I think that winning states two years in a row shows that Central has what it takes to be a really good debate team.” A formidable novice group four years ago meant the team gained momentum as their skills and experience increased. “We had a lot more people who started to get serious about policy debate,” Payne said. “They helped bring it up from the bottom. We’ve been able to make a name for Traverse City Central High School.” A main difference between Central and other downstate debate teams is the access to resources. Downstate teams near universities with power-house debate teams hire coaches for daily instruction, but Central only has access to these

“Kelsey’s Law” continued from front page “I think a lot of students will ignore the law until they see students being punished for it,” Halvorsen said. “They’re not going to take it seriously until they see something happen from it.” Similar to the texting ban, the bill allows police officers “primary enforcement,” which means that an officer can stop a driver if they see them using a cell-phone. If there is a separate infraction, or if a driver is involved in a crash, they

of thousands of lives annually, while we live in a country where we take a pill with worse side-effects for nearly every ailment or annoyance imaginable. Notwithstanding religious or other extreme exemptions, there are no viable reasons

to not get yourself, or more importantly, your children, vaccinated. Doing so is ethically sound and in your, and the greater good’s, best interest. Keep yourself healthy, keep others healthy, and find solace in the wonders of modern medicine.

high-level debaters at tournaments. Long-time Traverse City Central Debate Coach Carol Roehrich said this sets the Central debaters apart in a positive way. “My kids have to work harder and be smarter, because when they do get help from the top kids, it comes in bits and pieces,” Roehrich said. “It’s not a daily thing. The college kids have said they like working with Central’s kids because they’re really smart, they work hard and they are very willing to listen and not act like they know it all.” Andrew Wirth, one of the college debaters that Central hires to judge for them at tournaments, agrees that Central debaters’ independence helps them gain a deeper understanding of the topic. “Traverse City doesn’t have any access to college debaters, but the kids work their butts off,” Wirth said. “Most of the research that is done is done by the kids, whereas other schools will have the captains do it.” To counter the disparity between up and downstate schools, Roehrich started a summer

debate camp at Central to prepare debaters for competitive state competition. “When we first started, the kids thought it was way too nerdy to spend summers on a college campus at a debate camp,” Roehrich said, “so I brought the college kids to Traverse City and we had a week-long day camp. That’s where we got our kickstart to be able to compete at the state level.” As the team gained experience, they began to travel to more national tournaments and, with the wins, the team grew rapidly. “The year before I got here, they had their banquet in a booth at a restaurant,” Roehrich said. “The last few years, the banquet has been at the Elks Lodge with 80 to 100 people.” As the season winds down, the team will be saying goodbye to their senior captains as well as Roehrich, who is set to retire at the end of the school year. In the wake of the team’s astounding successes, Roehrich is working with Principal Rick Vandermolen to find a new debate coach. “We’re doing a national search,” Vandermolen

said. “We have the ability to attract really good candidates, and that’s what we intend to do.” Chappell hopes that the teams’ debaters continue to experience the type of support and opportunities to compete that they had under Roehrich’s coaching. “I really hope they find someone who can give them the opportunities that my partner and I have had,” Chappell said. “The thing about debate is that if you go to a small school, the amount of time you invest in your team is directly proportional to how well your team does.” Payne is optimistic that the team will continue its success. “As long as we keep our debaters helping our younger debaters, I think the team will be able to destroy,” Payne said. Roehrich says that although retiring will be hard, the team accomplished more than she could have ever hoped for as a coach. “I would never have in a million years dreamed that we would be where we are.”

could be charged with using a cell phone after the fact. Police officers run into problems when drivers don’t disclose that they were using a cell phone during an accident. “When the law changed and [prohibited] texting, people wouldn’t necessarily tell you that they were on their phone,” Soffredine said. “Most people, when they’re texting, they’re looking down and you can’t see their hands. That’s what officers look for.” Distracted driving is the leading cause of death for teenagers, and studies show a driver using a cell phone is more impaired than a driver with

a .08 blood alcohol level. Katie Wacker ‘13 was involved in a rear-end accident during her first month of driving. The driver in front of her didn’t indicate she was turning with a turn signal. Wacker believes that cell phone use while driving is extremely distracting. “It’s almost like learning how to walk,” Wacker said. “If a driver has issues with focusing, then they shouldn’t be allowed to use a phone.” Victoria Krajenka ‘13 has had personal experience with the dangers of cell phone use. A woman who was talking on her cell phone attempted to change into Krajenka’s lane, and she swerved to avoid an accident.

“It’s just as important for adults not to use their phones,” Krajenka said. “Yes, they are more experienced drivers, but it just takes a second when you’re not paying attention to cross the line or not notice a car in front of you.” Soffredine agrees that all drivers should refrain from cell phone use. “I think it should apply to adults. There have been many states that have totally eliminated any cell phone use while driving in a car,” Soffredine said. “Based on research of this law, a lot of people are saying the same thing, that nobody should use a cell phone.”

8 The Leek

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold real stories, real people

An open letter to president Barack Obama

Disclaimer: The Leek is like student led conferences and not to be taken seriously.

News in brief Scott Hardin, Tyger Bell Leek Editor, Staff Reporter

Our national debt increases by $3.83 billion daily, which has almost cubed since this went to print. The Leek Editors in Chief give the President guidance

Jan. 29, 2013

Lang emails forged

Jake Myers Leek Editor

Dear President Obama, The Leek salutes you on getting re-elected for a second term. You also ran a swimmingly successful campaign as the first president to bend the Internet to your will and bring home the votes. Your swearing in ceremony and speech did Martin Luther King proud. However, looking forward, it looks like you have a bunch of big issues to solve. Don’t worry Big B, The Leek has you covered. Since we are still waiting for our Pulitzer Prize to be announced, we feel we have the authority to tell you how to breeze through your second term. First, let’s focus on the national debt. Every day, it increases by $3.83 billion, which has probably cubed since this went to print. Those hooligans in Congress hold the power of the purse, but you have the executive order. You da boss, so unleash those executive orders. Shall we discuss our First Lady, your lovely Michelle-my-Belle? She looked fabulous at your Inaugural Ball, Mr. President, but you have to think about the message you’re sending. Truthfully, Michelle’s high style, hautecouture, and a bangin’ new hairdo don’t fit with your declaration of fiscal responsibility. Next time you hold a big soiree for yourself, send the First Lady’s personal shoppers to T.J. Maxx for great savings on the brands you love. Another way to solve this debt issue is to start selling off some of our national assets. Take Alaska--in addition to lots of fish, moose and mountains, they have lots of oil. So much so that each Alaskan resident receives a monthly oil royalty check. So let’s

Truthfully, Michelle’s high style, haute-couture, and a bangin’ new hairdo don’t fit with your declaration of fiscal responsibility. Next time you hold a big soiree for yourself, send the First Lady’s personal shoppers to T.J. Maxx for great savings on the brands you love. sell it back to Russia. The oligarchs of the former KGB would jump on it. The Russian government sold it to us in for $7.2 million, those chumps, and we have been pointing our missiles at them from there ever since. Alaskans are basically foreign; they’ve only been a state since 1959, and if anything can be inferred from Sarah Palin, they still haven’t fully grasped the English Language yet.

Graphic: A. Korson

Graphic: N. Mulvaine

At the world renowned Sotheby’s auction house in New York City, NY, auctioneers sell off America’s forty nineth state. “We haven’t really gotten permission from the President yet, but money’s money and those Russian oil oligarchs practically have cash spewing out of every orifice,” auctioneer Monseuir Adrien Hollande said.

We’re also thinking you could raise a pretty penny on some of the Smithsonian’s junk: Dorothy’s ruby red slippers--they’re not even in this season. The Hope Diamond could go too, it’s gauche. We sell off the Presidential Hair Collection, which is sort of creepy to hold on to, and it’s not like you have much to contribute to it. We’re working on brokering that deal now for you. Trust us. We know a guy. Now that the Revolutionary War is over and we own our country, we could tell the Brits we really didn’t mean what we said in the Declaration of Independence, and throw in apology to them for an extra $10 billion. It doesn’t have to be big, just get straight to the point: “Dear Mom, we screwed up. Big time. We’re ready to come home now. Please take us back.” Hand deliver it to her majesty, bow, and talk it out over crumpets. Frankly, Mr. President, Lady Liberty is in the wrong place. Nobody comes here to New York by boat anymore; all the immigration comes from Mexico. Move her to Texas. She’ll still send the “welcome” message, behind the barbed wire, concrete walls, dogs, and border control agents in helicopters. Now, you may be tempted to re-gift her to the French. This is unwise, most of them blame us for this economic meltdown. Mon Dieu! We cannot recommend brokering a

deal with the touchy Français. All the action is along the Rio Grande, so Texas should buy Lady Liberty and pay her cartage fees--she’s a full-figured gal. The freedom-loving Texans have loads of cash. As a selling point, you might plug your nose and suggest they could replace her torch with a gun. This will really get the secessionists goin’. The only way to reason with them is giant tokens of freedom, for a price. Remember, Texans like everything big. She’s perfect. If Texas doesn’t want to play ball, you might just have to take the show to Vegas. Take out all the money in the national treasury, hop in Air Force One, and speed on down to America’s playground with Biden. Bet it all on a horse race, but if you lose, you might have to get your hands dirty. Rent a few Ocean’s movies for inspiration and send in Seal Team Six for some “finance acquisition.” Lastly, as the youth of America, we can to speak to having to pay for your generation’s decisions. Our debt is being financed largely by the Chinese, but we can do better. Now, The key lies in keeping that sweet Chinese Yen coming our way. The next time you meet with Chinese leaders, ask them if they could cancel our credit card, and give usr a much bigger one. Boom. Problem solved. Sincerely, The Leek’s Editors-in-Chief

Headlines from around the world Man wins Tour de France seven times, beats testicular cancer. Nation “shocked” to learn performance enhancing drugs involved Writers on Front program to start new erotic fiction unit President Barack Obama and Speaker of the House John Boehner to star in new reality TV show: “Capitol Hill, the Real Deal”

Global Perspectives The home of Castro Valley, California resident Assif Mayar was recently raided. Police found 34lbs of marijuana being guarded by Mr. Teeth, an alligator Mayar bought to commemorate Tupac Shakur’s 1996 death. What do you think?

“He’s seasoning his gator with all the wrong kinds of herb!”

Lauren Chanel Cajun cuisine expert

“Crikey! I’d like to get me some of that!”

Jeve Irman Alligator hunter “Alligators are just a gateway lizard.”

Jean McNulty Stay at home mom

“I’m not trying to say all alligators are into drugs, but I’m going to tell my daughter to stop seeing that alligator boy.”

Jack Williams Retired pastor

Photos: Courtesy of Reuters

In the conclusion of what Central administration has long considered a high priority issue, AP Language and Composition student Parko Porcote ‘14 was suspended on several charges, many of which related to his forgery of several emails from Lang teacher Noelle Jolody, to students. “I think we can all sleep a little better tonight knowing this disgusting man no longer walks our halls,” Saron Mits ‘14 said. “It’s like I don’t have to live in fear anymore.” Porcote’s crime streak arose from forgeries of Jolody’s emails, in which Porocote ranted that students shall “perish in the eternal flames” upon failing to complete complex assignments such as all of McGraw Hill Reader’s chapter five rhetoric questions, or a rhetorical analysis of Snoop Lion’s “Here Comes the King.” This caused several students to drop the course entirely. “Hopefully we can pick up the pieces of this shattered curriculum and rebuild,” Mits said. “I just don’t know anymore.”

Trig quiz “bogus”

Graphic: A. Korson

In what many are calling a “totally bogus move,” trigonometry teacher Fam Porton assigned her third hour a profoundly mind-numbing exam last week that left some students feeling “dumbfounded,” and others feeling “totally stumped.” The test included a number of impossible to solve word problems, several cryptic diagrams and a bunch of other pointless equations. “It was riddled with. . .like hieroglyphics and some crazy alien encryption,” Bellis Egley ‘14 said. “I didn’t even know where to write my name.” “Nothing pleases me more than bringing an ‘A’ student to tears,” Porton said. “They need to be taught that no matter how hard they try, numbers will smite them in the end.” “And so will life,” Porton said. “Where you at least have to add.” Of the 34 students who took the test, one passed with a groundbreaking score of 51 percent. “I picked a good day to show up to mythology,” Bonor Crady ‘16 said. “Right on!”

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The Leek Dear The Leek, This is really awkward for me, but I was having an online relationship for two years, and my online girlfriend died on the same day as my grandma. But now it seems like, well, she kind of never existed. How do I break this to my family and friends, who all thought I was having a serious relationship? totallynotmanti5 Recieved via The Transatlantic Cable Dear totallynotmanti5 When it comes to embarrassing situations, we here at The Leek live by our lifelong mantra: deny, deny, deny till you die. Great role models such as Alex Rodriguez and Lance Armstrong were disciples of the Leek Technique, and it never failed for them. Remember, it’s always best to get yourself caught up in a tangled web of lies than to tell the truth, ever. So here’s what we suggest, break it to everyone that she died. Say you are going to the funeral, but actually go somewhere really fun for the weekend. XOXO S+J

Graphic: N. Mulvaine

The Leek is still recuperating from last week’s inaugural ball. President Barack Obama dispatched Air Force One to collect Leek editors Scott Hardin and Jake Myers, both ‘14, and reporters Tyger Bell ‘14 and Garrett Kosch ‘13 for the President’s entourage. The swearing in was cold, but the balls were red hot. “Dancing with Michelle Bachman was the most intense moment of my life,” Hardin said. “She definitely dances with passion.” Leek reporters entertained other important womenof-state. “Nancy Pelosi’s face lift doesn’t look bad up close,” Myers said. “Believe me, I got close.” In the heat of a salsa dance with friend of The Leek and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Bell asked for the location of Bill and got a dirty scoop. “He’ll be back soon,” Hillary assured Bell. “I think he’s still entertaining some guests with a tour of his private study.” Reports will continue as we remember the events.