Black & Gold Vol 94 issue 4

Feature

Volume 94

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For coverage of recent STEP fundraisers, a look at a studentled business, and a breakdown of Model UN turn to pages 4 and 5 a

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Issue 4 Sports

Black Gold

2014 MIPA Spartan Award Winner

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December 16, 2014

Traverse City Central High School 1150 Milliken Drive, Traverse City, Michigan 49686

Olweus problems addressed

Photo: C. Brower

Turn to page 7 for basketball game coverage, profiles on new coaches, and a review of the girls’ basketball retreat

Festive Madrigal Dinner

Administrators work to bridge the gap between student apathy and a surprising number of bully victims

Kristin McLintock Staff Reporter

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ast year the anti-bullying campaign Olweus was introduced into TCAPS. Once a week during Advisory, advisors and their students participate in a series of activities focused around the idea of anti-bullying. Since its inception, student opinion towards the program has been overwhelmingly negative.

“I don’t think it is effective because it doesn’t bring students together about bullying,” Elise Miller ‘17, “Teachers just talk to them about it, which doesn’t solve any problems.

I think there should be more student to student interaction and more examples outside of the classroom instead of just teacher explanation.”

Seeing lack in purpose and effectiveness, many students share similar, negative viewpoints on the program.

“We are asked to set aside our apathy to discuss this vague umbrella term “bullying”, but a specific problem has been neither identified nor addressed,” Madison Campbell ‘16 said. “Nothing has been accomplished to actually decrease bullying.”

A notable controversial issue is the fact that many of the activities done in advisory may not be mature enough for a high school audience.

“It needs less emphasis at the high school level,” Math Teacher Hal Lalonde said. “At the high school level, you all do not act the same as middle school and elementary students, you’re more mature. So, we have to change the message to fit the audience.”

However, teachers remain positive and hopeful for Olweus’s impact on students.

“I think it has a positive impact,” Math Teacher Katherine Brege said “I know that there are a lot of negative thoughts on it from students—I hear it in the hallway—but then after the classroom meetings, after that day I think there is a lot of good that comes out of it. I think the positives of Olweus are the community building and

the recognizing, when you see bullying, what to do.”

A recent poll issued by Olweus produced numbers of students who were bullied 2-3 times a month or more above national norms (see graph below). Administrators are skeptical about the sample size of the survey—roughly 46%— being accurately representative of the school’s population.

However, if the survey is indeed an accurate reflection of Central’s populous, then the percentages would translate to approximately 200 of Central’s 1500 students being bullied at least 2-3 times a month.

“I really hope that when the students see these graphs and tables that they see maybe there is something going on here,” Burden said, “that Olweus has a point.”

Although the survey’s accuracy remains under analysis and scrutiny, as Central applies for a renewal of the Olweus grant they plan to continue to incorporate it into the program’s evaluation.

“If we got a renewal on the grant,” Burden said,“we would undoubtedly continue on some level with the surveying and presenting of information.”

The majority of survey results showed that students at Central reported they had been involved in bullying more than the national average was reported.

“Just the word bullying,” Burden said, “everyone is sick of it, they are sick of Olweus and they are sick of talking about it. They don’t want to take surveys anymore and they think we should just get over it. But we’re not going to when we have responses like this, not until we empower the majority of students to take action in preventing bullying from continuing, we have to keep doing it.”

The updating and improvements of Olweus, including trying to show students the program is not only focused on bullying but prevention and relationships, will hopefully shift student opinion on the overall program.

See Olweus, pg. 10

Photo: E. Simon

Photo: E. Simon

Photo: E. Simon

1. From left to right, Wendee Wolf-Schlarf, Mae Smith ‘17, Maddy Ross ‘16, Madelynn Brady ‘18, Sarah Storm ‘18, Taylor Bills ‘16, and Peggy Owens ‘18 participate in this year’s Madrigal Dinner. “The church does these dinners every year; this was the 48th annual Madrigal Dinner,” Ross said. “It is kind of like this play that goes on.” 2. From left to right, John Reicha ‘17, Lisa Brown ‘16, Spencer Kroupa ‘15, Robbie Shields ‘17, Claire Beutler ‘16. Lisa Brown ‘16 connected with the Church’s actors, “They all had very strong personalities and would have these little jokes and movements that we all couldn’t help but laugh about,” Brown said. 3. From right to left, Elijah Cobb ‘17 and Sam Smith ‘17 play the traditional “herald’s trumpet” for the dinner. “It’s basically the same thing as a normal trumpet,” Cobb said. “Playing it was exactly the same, only it’s bigger and louder.”

Book club incorporates social media

Central’s book club uses Instagram to promote reading in an effort to improve test scores while finding the balance with technology in the educational system

Hayley Scollard Staff Reporter

This year at Central, Kerrey Woughter and her book club are promoting reading through TCC Reads, a social media reading competition. By posting a picture of a favorite book and hastaging it “#tccreads”, participants’ names are put into a hat for a drawing. So far, the winners have received gift cards from Family Video, the State Theatre, Horizon bookstores and Brilliant Books, but the real award is in creating passionate new readers.

“Books give an escape of reality and an exciting new world,” book club member Jonathan Felton ‘15 said.

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By incentivizing students, Woughter hopes to encourage students to fit reading into their schedules.

“I don’t think it’s a cool factor, I think it’s a time factor,” Woughter said. “There’s so much competition for time.”

Woughter understands the heart of the issue; highschoolers constantly face the challenge of managing time.

“I think students get really stressed out a lot of the time, and don’t really have enough time to read,” TCC Reads contestant Abby Green ‘16 said. “But I think TCC Reads helps because it’s a good reminder to keep reading.”

Woughter acknowledges that it is especially hard to create reading incentives for this age group.

I don’t think it’s a cool factor, I think it’s a time factor.

-Kerrey Woughter

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“At the elementary school it’s easy, it’s like ‘We’re going to try to read 20 pages a day and whoever gets the most pages read is going to get something,’” Woughter said. “It doesn’t work that way at the high school. Doing reading incentive programs is difficult.”

A reading incentive is crucial to improving Central’s performance on reading and writing portions of the ACT. The average 2014 ACT test score at Central was 22.2 for reading and 21.4 for English. Only 48 percent of students met college readiness in reading last year. Test scores repeatedly remind Woughter of the importance of reading.

“When you’re testing just ‘okay’ on a state test and reading, that’s a real issue,” Woughter said.

By using Instagram as a medium, Woughter hopes to combine the captivating power of electronics and the learning potential of books. She is taking advantage of technology by encouraging

See Reading, pg. 11

Briefs

TCAPS deals with FERPA

Students earn place in math finals

Recent complications occurred when East Middle School surveillance video footage was released of an incident which required disciplinary action. Despite the fact that TCAPS themselves did not release the video to the public they have taken heat for the video’s publicization because of its conflict with the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA).

“FERPA is a Federal law that protects the privacy of student education records,” TCAPS Interim Superintendent Paul Soma said. “Under the law, school districts can share information contained in education records with a student’s parents; however, school districts may not provide that information to an external party, including media outlets.”

Every year students have the opportunity to take part in the Michigan Math Prize Competition. The competition consists of two tests in a series of rounds.

“It’s the multiple choice test at the first level that the kids take that is pretty challenging,” Math Teacher John Failor said.

“If they can score a 50% on it they are doing pretty well.”

This year there was a total of 12 students who qualified

Community members accused TCAPS of the FERPA violation after a parent released the video to media.

“TCAPS did not release the video to the media,” Soma said. “A parent requested the video, which was part of their child’s education record, and then that parent provided the video to the media.”

After the accusations, TCAPS took a further look at the law.

“TCAPS has done a thorough investigation of the law, in consultation with the district’s legal counsel, and has determined the video is not releasable to the media or other third parties,” Soma said. “TCAPS is committed to protecting the safety and security of our students.”

for the second test, which was held Dec. 10.

“I did have a lot of kids who took it last year take it this year so hopefully they will do better this year,” Failor said.

One of the qualifiers this year was Rayna Archibald ‘18.

“The first part I didn’t really have any idea what it was,” Archibald said. “For the second test my motivation was just to represent freshmen and

girls. I felt proud that I was a freshman and that I made it that far.”

Graphic H. Lancashire

2 Opinion

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 16, 2014

College, a group effort hire Graphic: H. Lancashire

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“It’s the child’s decision to go to college.

I don’t think parents should be forced to contribute.”

-Lauren Breederland ‘18

“Parents are probably jerks if they choose not to support their child. I don’t think they should be legally required to though.”

-Billy Kroes ’17

looming behind them.

Students have to go to college, and with costs rising and family income down, it’s become too much of a burden. In order to further develop students and up their chances of success, the government must make a harder push to decrease costs and provide aid. Decreasing costs would not only make college more accessible, it may also help open up more avenues for parental assistance. If costs are lower, parents will have a better chance to help their child, because right now, many of them just can’t.

With more government assistance, there will also be less debt. Rather than taking on loans, students having more of their education costs covered by the government dissuades a financially destitute environment.

More government aid helps eliminate the chance of debt following students out of the classroom and into the real world.

We can’t have people still making college payments into their 40s.

The purpose of school is to bring in a higher income so one can have a better Graphic: H. Lancashire life; it’s not to bring in a higher income so one can pay exorbitant college bills.

College is a necessity. We at the Black & Gold believe parents should help pay for their child’s post secondary education, but they should not be forced. More importantly, the government must work to make college cheaper and provide more financial aid to students so college easier to pay for, making it more accessible for everyone.

“If the child wants to go to college they should be able to, but the parents shouldn’t be forced to pay.”

-Katlyn Kotimko ‘16

“College is not a necessity, you don’t have to go and your parents shouldn’t have to pay for it either.”

-Dawson Chown ‘15

Sexual violence is being ignored Sexual violence has become an epidemic in America. New cases emerge daily, yet we’re attacking the victims not the perpetrators

Chris Brower Staff Reporter

the Black & Gold

Sexual violence is becoming more and more prominent in America. “Jackie” is the center of the sexual assault spotlight in recent weeks after she spoke to Rolling Stones magazine about being raped on the University of Virginia campus. She was attending a party put on by the very rich and influential fraternity Phi Kappa Psi. After being escorted by her date upstairs, she was greeted by six other men in what was a premeditated rape. Jackie endured three hours of assault from seven different men before escaping. She called her friends to pick her up afterward but they told her not to report what happened, all because she didn’t want to be known as the girl who

cried “rape.”

Rape has been on the rise in the United States since the 1960’s, and has almost sextupled since then. This is especially conspicuous in young people.

One in five women will encounter some form of sexual assault in their lifetime. These aren’t random crimes committed by obscure men in dark alleys, these are crimes committed by “normal” citizens. Under the veil of normality, many cases go unnoticed, swept under the rug and ignored. These acts are happening far too often. And because of this, we’ve begun to almost develop a tolerance to it. No longer are we focused on fixing the problem, but rather finding excuses for disgusting behavior.

It’s time we stop discarding the topic of sexual violence by saying “oh she’s a slut” or “she was

Editors-in-Chief Erin Lipp John Minster

News Editor

George Madison

Opinion Editor

drunk, she was asking for it” and start to stand up to the injustice that is being dealt to more than 1,270,000 women every year in the United States.

Victim blaming is becoming a culture in of itself. George Will, an opinion writer for the “Washington Post”, is one of

A&E Editor

Julia Vannatter

See Assault, pg. 11

Business Managers George Madison Julia Vannatter

Sports Editor Erin Lipp

Focus Page Editors

John Minster

Hunter Kelly Hayley Rozema

Feature Editor

Leek Editor

Maddi Miller

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the more outspoken people of this ideology. He takes a case of rape in Pennsylvania saying “they make victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges, victims proliferate.” This is such a backwards statement that implies people want to be known as “the person who got raped”. That it’s a “coveted” status. That the topic of rape is just overblown. This type of talk is counterintuitive, a push against victimology only distracts from the real issue.

Acording tooneinfourusa.org, approximately 673,000 women currently attending U.S. colleges and universities have experienced rape at some point in their lifetime. 60 percent of rapes on college campuses occur with a perpetrator who is an acquaintance of the survivor, 32 percent are romantic partners and

Carl Rasmussen

Photo Editors Emma Simon Margo Hoagg

Illustration Editor Henry Lancashire

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oing to college has become an increasingly important step in children’s lives. Generally, parents are expected to at the very least contribute to their son or daughter’s education. However, that’s not always the case, and some students are going as far as suing their parents for the money in court.

21-year-old Caitlyn Ricci hasn’t communicated with her divorced parents in over two years. She’s lived with her grandparents in that time, claiming her parents’ kicked her out (they denied the accusation), and is now looking for some post childhood cash. The New Jersey born Ricci goes to college at out-of-state Temple University, and while her parents do not want to help fund her education, they’re going to have to.

Ricci sued her estranged parents for tuition money, and the judge ruled they’ll have to fork over $16,000 a year for Ricci’s $25,000 a year education. The parents say they’ve tried to reach out to her, and that their daughter left the home on her own, refusing to follow house rules like daily chores and curfew.

Ricci denies these claims.

In New Jersey, following a divorce, college is legally a necessity for any child. The judge said the parents are therefore legally obligated to pay part of the tuition. Ostensibly, this is a nasty situation.

The case is very similar to another New Jersey lawsuit earlier this year; 18-year-old Rachel Canning moved out of her family’s home and then sued her parents for tuition to Western New England University in Massachusetts. However, she reconciled with her parents and dropped the lawsuit Putting the divorce quirk aside, quite frankly, this kind of action is ridiculous. These parents raised their children for 18 years, and since the children are smart enough to go to the legal system for help, clearly they weren’t raised poorly.

We at the Black & Gold believe parents should not be forced to pay for their child’s education. They have a moral obligation

to do so, but not a legal one. It’s not the government’s place to decide morality. While it may be distasteful and a bit greedy, it’s not the parents job to fund their child’s post secondary education. The child is an adult now, it’s his or her job to acquire funding.

Every situation is different, but students’ should not be taking legal action. This is a conversation that should be had with parents, not lawyers.

That said, there is a larger issue at play here.

According the National Center of Education Statistics, the average cost of tuition for public universities in 2011-2012— these are schools funded by the government—is $14,292. Costs aren’t going down either.

The price of schooling at a public institution has gone up every single year for the last 35 years, and that $14,292 is just for one year. After four years at a public school, students could be in potentially $60,000 or more of debt.

We do sympathize with prospective students who have stingy or parents. College is a fundamental requirement; students need degrees these days to compete in the global job market. A student without a college degree will be grossly underprepared and under qualified for a high end career.

We at the Black & Gold believe college is too expensive a necessity. There are outlets for students to receive funding, but they’re not nearly as widespread as they should be.

This a need the government must make a realistic option for everyone. Stay out of personal finance issues and fix the problem

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Post secondary education is more than just the parents’ job

Thumbs up thumbs down

We look at the good and bad from the venerable and not so venerable public bigwigs

Erin Lipp

Editor-in-Chief and Sports Editor After growing up in families who emphasized the importance of giving back to the community, Bill Gates and Melinda French, now Bill and Melinda Gates, had a newspaper article catch their eyes; it was about the lack of drinking water in third world countries. They wanted to use their financial resources, and act on the lessons they had been taught as kids. In a class-act gesture, the Gates used their public power and fortune to start the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to benefit those less fortunate throughout the world.

Their website’s How We Work section states “We do all of our work in collaboration with grantees and other partners, who join with us in taking risks, pushing for new solutions, and harnessing the transformative power of science and technology. We strive to engage with our grantees and partners in a spirit of trust, candid communication, and transparency.”

Now, in conjunction with the Rotary Clubs (RC) in our five county region, the Gates Foundation is following their mission statement and agreed to participate in a matching grant in our local area. Rotary Clubs will match $1 for $1 up to $250 donations made to tax exempt non-profit organizations. In October 2014. RC made an exception to their five county requirement and donated $250,000 to the End Polio Now Campaign of The Rotary Foundation, which will be matched by the Gates Foundation under their challenge grant for a total of $750,000.

I salute the Gates for using their fortune to begin a foundation that has reached places all over the world, and now is reaching our community. While celebrities enjoy flaunting their 500 dollar purses and their four million dollar cars, the Gates have contributed to the restoration of faith in the human race and our moral integrity. Gates is a well-known name to the public and they are using this to improve communities around the world.

John Minster

Editor-in-Chief and Opinion Editor A lot of people really aren’t happy with Darren Wilson.

The Missouri cop who shot 18 year old African American Michael Brown was not indicted in the case against him, a grand jury of 12 people found there was not reasonable cause to believe Wilson shot Brown for any reason other than legitimate self defense. This result has made Wilson the target of millions.

Many in the public eye have been upset with the decision and with Wilson as well. Congressmen, media members and many more have cried “hands up, don’t shoot” and asserted that justice was not served. Others have taken more extreme stances, claiming justice system is a racist, broken institution. One “protest” however, sticks out to me. New York Times reporter Julie Bosman released Wilson’s home address to the public.

Now, let me explain the gravity of this. Regardless of how you feel about Wilson or the case, this is bad. There are bounties on Wilson’s head. A lot of people want this man dead. Wilson’s actions and the result of this case have fueled rioting, looting, stealing, burning of businesses to the ground. No one has died yet, but giving out the place of residence of the reason for this whole thing isn’t exactly helping.

The fact is, Wilson went through the process and came out clean. Happy or not, that doesn’t mean people should start pushing for some sort of vigilante justice.

This isn’t Sons of Anarchy.

As a journalist, one is supposed to be responsible with private information. The public needs to be privy to most things, but releasing a private address and very directly putting a person’s life in danger is despicable.

Bosman should be ashamed.

Ironically, Gotnews.com published Bosman’s address in response, and now she’s repeatedly calling the Chicago PD over people harassing her and sending food deliveries to her home. I don’t condone this either, but at least Bosman only has to worry about pizzas being sent to her house. Wilson has more than just rogue pizzas to worry about.

Staff Reporters

Noah Aulicino Andrea Bavikatty Kirsten Berkey Chris Brower Abby Harnish Carly Hernden Shaine Kearney Kristin McLintock Mitchell Mosley Bethany Pataky Nicole Rogers Hayley Scollard Alex Stern Baille Zipser

Send us an email at tcblackandgold.opinion@gmail.com or drop off a letter to the editor in room F-158 Some Corrections: -For the story “PDA runs rampant at central” on page 12, Central was not capitalized in the headline.

-On page 3, John Minster’s column did not italicize all of the film titles.

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

Christmas

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Unique holiday traditions As the holiday season approaches, Central students embrace their diverse cutoms of celebrating Nicole Rogers Staff Reporter

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Photo: courtesy of A. Goodwin

Photo: courtesy of L. Gerstle

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Photo: courtesy of A. DeVol

Lighting of the menorah Pickle in Christmas tree

Chinese food for dinner

Lena Gerstle ‘18 and her family gather in a dark room lit by the candles of a menorah to celebrate Hanukkah from Dec. 16-24.

“My favorite thing about Hanukkah is that it’s very festive and fun,” Gerstle said. “I really enjoy being able to spend time with my family.”

Gerstle and her family celebrate Hanukkah every year, even though it is not very important in Judaism they still find it very important to celebrate.

“Hanukkah isn’t really the biggest holiday,” Gerstle said. “People just assume it is since it’s around the same time as Christmas.”

Even though Gerstle enjoys Hanukkah, she wishes it would fall on a more convenient time of year.

“It would be nice for Hanukkah to fall over Christmas break because it changes every year,” Gerstle said. “This year it starts on Dec.16, it’s annoying because we have school and it gets in the way.”

Even though Hanukkah isn’t that big of a holiday, it has been always been apart of her life.

“Hanukkah is important to me because I have been celebrating it since I was born,” Gerstle said. “It’s really important to light the menorah because we don’t get to do it often.”

Although she only celebrates with her immediate family and members of the congregation, Gerstle would like to continue the traditions that she has been participating since birth, with her family.

“I would like to celebrate Hanukkah with my kids one day,” Gerstle said. “I hope that taking them to Hanukkah parties would be something they enjoy since it is such a big thing in my life.”

The aroma of fried rice and sesame chicken fills the air at the home of Alex DeVol ‘16. DeVol’s family has a tradition of eating Chinese food for dinner on Christmas Eve. “I have been eating Chinese food for Christmas Eve dinner for as long I can remember,” DeVol said. “The tradition started because my grandparents did it with my step dad, so he wanted to continue the tradition.”

DeVol believes that his family tradition is very unique because not many people would consider eating Chinese food on Christmas Eve. “It is very different because it’s not really a Christmas meal and I don’t know anyone else who does it,” he said.

DeVol feels the way his family celebrates Christmas Eve helps shape their likes and dislikes.

“It adds to the tradition that each individual person chooses their favorite type of food, so it’s like a buffet and we all share,” DeVol said. “My favorite has always been sesame chicken and beef fried rice.”

To DeVol, it means something much more than eating Chinese food.

“It’s really about enjoying the time with my family at the holiday season and to stay close to my roots of Asian culture.”

DeVol hopes that his family will enjoy it when the time comes.

“I’m a fan of routine,” DeVol said. “The tradition has become a part of myself and my holiday routines. It isn’t something I am likely to change. I think I would like my family to know what we did when I was a kid and hopefully continue it on for generations.”

On Christmas morning, siblings in Aubrey Goodwin’s ‘18 family race against each other while trying to find a little glass pickle ornament their parents hid the night before. Their family celebrates Christmas in a unique way.

“My grandma is kind of weird, she likes to make things very original so we have a little glass pickle ornament,” Goodwin said, “and on Christmas Eve, my family and I hide it somewhere in our Christmas tree and then on Christmas morning everyone gets together and the first person to find the pickle usually gets an extra gift or something special.”

Although Goodwin’s family has very unique holiday traditions, she has been hiding and seeking a pickle ornament since she was little.

“I think the best part of my family’s tradition is just getting together and trying to find the pickle first,” Goodwin said. “It is just quirky, it’s the little things we do. Normally people just eat a bigger meal than usual and open gifts, what we do is different.”

She likes that her family’s tradition of Christmas is different than a lot of others and she enjoys celebrating with her family.

“I wouldn’t want to change hiding the pickle with my family or anything else because it’s so much fun,” Goodwin said. “Whenever we hide it, we all just enjoy each other’s company and grow a little closer.”

She plans on celebrating Christmas with this routine when she has a family of her own.

“I would love to carry on this tradition,” Goodwin said. “In the moment it’s fun to be around the tree, racing to find the pickle first. Also another way to celebrate Christmas.”

A Key Club Christmas Good & bad holiday gifts Key Club focuses on important elements of great holiday spirit Abby Harnish

Hayley Rozema

Staff Reporter

There’s always something about bright lights, chilly air and Christmas carols that inspires Key Club to go out into the community and make a difference.

“Christmas is a great time to begin with,” Key Club President Krista Cole ‘15 said. “People are getting excited for the season, it’s just one of those things where people are more giving and in the Christmasy mood.”

Key Club is a year-round club focused on volunteering and serving the community. Members in the club meet after school every Thursday to plan different ways they can help out.

Hanna Hagerty ‘16 prefers Key Club during the holiday season. Besides being a joyful time of year, Dec. has its benefits.

“People are more inclined to give time, money or support during this time of year,” Hagerty said. “It makes the volunteering we do more productive. With more support from the community, we can accomplish that much more for others.”

Key Club does many charitable acts. The club will do their annual Salvation Army bell ringing at Horizon Books, Macy’s, and local grocery stores, starting Dec. 13.

“Ringing bells is a lot of fun,” Cole said.

“Even though it’s cold, it’s worth it because it puts you in the Christmas spirit. It’s really nice to meet members of the community and do something for those who may need a little extra during the winter months.”

With help from Kiwanis, an international service club that works with Key Club, members will sponsor a family in need and buy Christmas gifts for them. Kiwanis funds the project for Key Club so the members can give the best Christmas possible for the family.

“We receive lists of needs and wants for the

Students talk about past Christmas presents that left an impression on them Focus Page Editor

family,” Cole said. “We take the lists and go shopping to pick toys and fun little trinkets we think the kids may like.”

See Key Club, pg. 11

“The weirdest gift I got was from Santa Clause at the age of six, it was a moose that recorded your voice and played it back to you.”

-Anna Poertner ‘15 “The best gift I got was a hockey table. My dad told me to go downstairs and it was down there already set up. I was really suprised.”

-Trevor Wheeler ‘16 “One year I got a stick in a box from my dad. I thought it was something really big and when I opened it up I was really disappointed.”

-Morgen Durga ‘15

Photo: courtesy of H. Hagerty

4 Feature

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

Students step up for STEP Student Senate’s dodgeball tournament encouraged student support for the STEP program, which provides necessities for homeless youth

Recipe for Success For 10 years, U.S. History teacher Erin Kosch channels her love of Northern Michigan’s stunning scenery into her family-owned, locally run restaurant, The Boathouse.

Baille Zipser Staff Reporter

Photo: E. Simon

Photo: E. Simon

Photo: E. Simon

1. Cameron McAuliffe ‘14 stands with his team in a break between plays. “We knew we were gonna win it. There was no doubt about it,” McAuliffe said. “Overall, the dodgeball game was super fun and Senate did a great job. STEP is a really great program and it really helps the kids in it succeed.

I think it’s important for the kids who aren’t in STEP to try and understand what those kids undergo on a daily basis. We need to be more generous.” 2. Wearing his team’s all black uniform, Josh Armour ‘16 hits Reid Nelson also ‘16, aiding his team’s first and only win. “I was expecting to win some of the games,” Armour said, “but we are still number one in our hearts. It was a good chance to help other students in need.” 3. Jake Ryan ‘17 hurls a dodgeball with the intention of destroying his opponent. With the goal of glory in mind, he goes all out in an effort to steal the win. “We wore tie dye and headbands at the dodgeball game,” Ryan said. “My favorite part of the dodgeball game was seeing how much fun the other teams were having. Although my team lost in the first round, we weren’t expecting to win, we were just trying to have fun. All in all, it was a great time!”

The STEP program is always in need of donations. If you want to help out, bring in the following items to Mrs. Forton’s room, C217 Food items: • Nuts • Crackers • Gronola bars • Microwave popcorn • Soup • Peanut Butter

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Miscellaneous: Hand Sanitizer Chapstick Travel-sized toothpaste Toothbrushes Mechanical pencil lead Ear buds

Holiday generosity abound Many students and groups at Central are getting involved and giving back to the STEP program, an initiative designed to benefit students in need by providing essential products and goods to struggling and displaced students

Baille Zipser Staff Reporter

He wakes to the sound of the car engine revving. Piles of clothes, blankets and food lie scattered around him. His neck aches from his disagreeable pillow—the backside chair of his 1991 Ford Fiesta, where he lives with his dad. He is a student of the Students in Transportation Empowerment Program (STEP), an organization throughout the whole TCAPS district for students who are living in unstable housing or are in extreme need of financial help for basic necessities.

“My hope is for other students outside of the program to know they don’t understand what’s going on in these students lives,” STEP specialist at Central Andrea Ballast Photo: E. Simon said. “I want for them to be kind to people because you never know what they are deal- Kayla Jackson ‘15 hands canned goods over to Mrs. Forton to donate to the STEP program this holiday season.“It is nice to help the ones we know who need the extra help,” Jackson said. “It felt good to ing with.” know that I made an impact in someone’s life.”

The program provides students with needs such as transportation, school supwith the STEP program this year, alongside Senate hosted a dodgeball tournament, plies, free or reduced breakfasts and lunches: her charity, G1FT (Giving 1 Family at a Dec. 9, and are coordinating other fundraisnecessities they wouldn’t otherwise have.

Time), which she created in 2009. She works ers throughout the year to help support the There are 60 students in this organization with one family at a time to give them as program. this year, almost double what it was last year. much attention as possible, and does vari“We realized how big of a deal the STEP “I think of ous small fundraisers all year. Her biggest program really is,” Sarah Berry ‘17 said. “We these students as want more students to be aware of all the I think of these students fundraiser is the people—they are Mother’s Day 5k. good the program does.” as people—they are more than their “There are are Senate has planned many fundraisers yet unfortunate life situamore than their unfortunate a lot of students to come this year, with all the proceeds tions,” Ballast said. “My that work really going to the program. Currently Senate and life situations. goal is to help better hard and are very NHS are also working together on a can their situations as much - Andrea Ballast deserving,” Weck- drive for the program. as I am capable.” stein said. “But have been brought up in “It’s a great cause and I think a lot of our The STEP program has been apart of Tra- situations that can be very hard to succeed focus this year should go to this program,” verse City since 2001 and Ballast has been an in. I want to help as much as possible.”

Berry said. “We are helping fellow students avid supporter. She works only at Central.

This year, both NHS and Student Senate here at Central that are in need, and that “I like being at only one school rather than are involved with the program and are helpmatters.” all over town,“ Ballast said. “I can put more ing raise funds and supplies for the students.

STEP is available for anyone who does focus into my students when I am available NHS is doing a fundraiser to gather as many not have permanent, adequate housing. all day.” materials as possible before the holidays.

Ballast will help you with all your needs or Currently there are about 250 to 300 They are collecting basic things such as hats, connect you to someone who can. students in the program overall. By the end gloves, and toiletries to take to the students “It is so rewarding to hear someone who of the year, the number could possibly reach before the holidays. thinks they won’t be able to do something 500 students.

“We exist to help the community and or be able to say ‘I passed that class’ or ‘I “Nothing drastic has happened in the decided to bring our efforts closer to home,” graduated,’” Ballast said. “I am a part of big economy lately,” Ballast said. “I was not exCo-NHS President Anthony Kratovil ‘15 milestone in these students life, and that is a pecting the number of students to rise this said, “Because there is such an increased great feeling to have.” year like it did.” number of students in the program this Taylor Weckstein ‘16 begun helping out year.”

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Trays of food whip out of the kitchen. The aroma of house made and local products absorb the room as the restaurant fills. A couple awaits anxiously, looking out the crystal clear windows. The sun drops across the water stretching as far as the eye can see. Erin Kosch, US history teacher, and her family own the Boathouse on the Peninsula, a high end restaurant with a bar menu and dinner served all year long. They have owned it for 10 years.

“My favorite part about owning the Boathouse is the beautiful setting,” Kosch said. “It’s nice when the customers come in and compliment the view and the ambiance.”

It’s the saddest time of year for Kosch when the summer rush departs, but the dissapointment fades in time and the business picks up again.

Photo: courtesy of E. Kosch Photo: courtesy of E. Kosch

Above: The Boat house is located on Old Mission Peninsula on gorgeous Grand Traverse Bay. “I like it when customers mention the beautiful view and decorations,” Kosch said. Left: Kosch and her husband sit at their restaurant of 10 years. “Both my daughters work there” Kosch said. “I enjoy spending time with my family.”

“I wish the restaurant was more stable all year round,” Kosch said. “80% of our sales for the whole year are between June and September.”

The days of being a teacher are very regimented, but the life of a restaurant owner is not. At both her jobs, Kosch has to manage people and produce a product that both students and customers enjoy. Kosch makes an appearance at the restaurant almost every day doing any variety of jobs. Sometimes she washes dishes, sometimes she bartends, or sometimes busses tables.

“I don’t really find anything hard,” Kosch said. “Working there is a nice break from teaching, but it can be very chaotic. It is an expensive restaurant and people expect fine services.”

Days at the Boathouse begin before the restaurant even opens. The typical routine includes talking to the staff, looking over the menu, and readying tables for the incoming crowds.

“My husband and I do all the maintenance,” Kosch said.

“In the winter we do all the painting that’s needed for the summer season.”

During the summer, the Kosch family supply fresh vegetables and aromatic flowers from their home garden, establishing a home away from home type atmosphere.

“The Boathouse is a naturally beautiful place,” Kosch said. “It’s on the water with windows surrounding, so it requires minimal decorations.”

Kosch often employs her students and loves the opportunity to work with them outside of school and see how they react to situations beyond those in her classroom.

“Almost our entire staff this summer was students I had in class at one time or another,” Kosch said. “I voice my frustrations on occasion, like I wouldn’t do in the classroom, but the students are very respectful. They see that this is a different working environment and they act differently.”

On top of working alongside students, Kosch also works with her two daughters, Emma Kosch ‘17, and Malory Kosch. They have both worked at the Boathouse for a few years.

“Working there is kind of like having a second family” Emma said. “Everyone there means a lot to me.”

The ideal first job for most teenagers does not consist of working side by side with your parents and younger sister, but for Emma she loves everyday of it.

“My parents are hard on me” Emma said. “When you are the owners kids, you definitely don’t get special treatment. I am treated like everyone else, maybe even harder.”

Even spending her summers at the Boathouse, working multiple days each week, doesn’t stop her from having fun.

“The restaurant has always been a part of my life,” Emma said. “and I hope it continues to be for a really long time.”

While summer may be long past, Kosch and her family are looking to many summers to come.

“My family has no intent on changing anything major in the restaurant,” Kosch said. “Business is great right now and we will hold on to it as long as we can.”

Feature

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

Model UN conquers Lansing Students in Model United Nations attended a conference in Lansing to further their critical thinking skills and knowledge of current events

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Student-run charity envelops the area Autumn Mccuien ‘16 created a nonprofit organization called “Staying Warm in TC” to provide for those less fortunate than herself

Margo Hoagg Photo Editor

Shivering from the cold, he grows weary with hunger and exhaustion. He stumbles into a church and is greeted by a smile and warm food. Autumn Mccuien ‘16 is the recipient of another grateful smile, as she helps out those in need, through her nonprofit clothing distribution “Staying Warm in TC.” “My parents have always helped others,” Mccuien said.

“When I was younger I would always volunteer with them and I always just got a good feeling. I like seeing people happy.”

Mccuien provides boxes of warm clothing all around downtown Traverse City and the Civic Center, where people can take a warm jacket or hat and others can donate old clothes.

Graphics: H. Lancashire

Nathaniel Michno ‘16 Chloe Ammond ‘17 Q. What is the best part of Model UN? A. “At the conferences, we meet students both from our school and from different schools. You get the opportunity to make a lot of new friends. You also get to know better students from your school—the people you used to just pass in the hall.”

Q. What is the most challenging part?

A. “The worst part is having to conduct all the research. It is

nice to learn new information, but it can be tedious trying to find enough support to back your country’s argument. You have to know and explain your country’s stance on a diverse set of issues.”

Q. What do you do in Model UN? A. “You choose a country and you create opinions on foreign policy issues. It is a simulation of the United Nations. Using your country’s policies and opinions, you work with other countries to follow and discuss issues happening in the world right now.”

Q. How much time do you commit?

A. “There are 20-minute meetings every Wednesday after

school. You have to put in a few hours of your own time to write the papers, but they don’t take too much time. There are also conferences in March and December.”

Emilie Fleming ‘17

Charles Velis ‘15

Q. Does Model UN have requirements? Q. Has it changed your world views?

A. “There are not any requirements to get in Model UN. We A. “It definitely changed my perspectives because it allowed meet once a week after school on Wednesdays. Anyone can join.

We do everything the United Nations does, but we role play. We go down to big conferences to form a mock United Nations.”

me to think about different jobs that I could do. In the past, I had only considered pursuing traditional careers, like a doctor or a teacher. But Model UN opened my mind to other ideas.”

Q. Why should others join Model UN? A. “Although it sounds extremely nerdy, because it is, you

Q. What does it take to win awards?

A. “It takes a lot of diplomacy to win an award. I won some

learn a lot. It is really cool to get the opportunity to meet so many people who have a passion for learning about the world. Your views about the world become more educated.”

awards at the conference. In order to get people to agree with my thoughts, I had to really listen to what other people were saying and make them feel good about their thoughts.”

Keep warm with Bay Blankets

This year, the marketing class gained business experience by working with a local embroidery company to sell customizable blankets. They called their company “Bay Blankets”

Kirsten Berkey Staff Reporter

On a brisk afternoon, Jordan Query ‘16 scans a neighborhood for his next potential customer.

With making money hovering in his mind, he quickly approaches the quaint doorstep of a kind, older couple. Query embraces his inner entrepreneur in an effort to sell them a blanket from Bay Blankets, the class’ company made in Central’s marketing class.

“The main goal is to teach individuals how to start a business and maintain it,” Query said. “To understand how everything rolls and how it all functions.”

Patt Rutt’s marketing class is selling blankets as practice for the students to learn to be responsible balancing costs and other aspects of operating a business.

“As a class, our goal is to sell as many blankets as we possibly can,” Josie Robbins ‘17 said. “But this class has also allowed us to learn as much as possible about what it’s like to pay your rent and commission—real life things.”

After deciding what item they wanted to sell, the class contacted Elfie, a local embroidery company, to assist them in production of the

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blankets.

“The blanket itself is a quality blanket,” Rutt said. “The students chose to position their business to be more of a luxury item versus a cheap-quality, chintzy fleece blanket. Elfie has done a lot for us.”

The blankets can be personalized coming in five different colors: light blue, light pink, red, navy and black.

“I have not received the blanket

I initially joined this class because you take home a payment at the end of the semester. After selling the blankets, I am more interested in business and becoming an entrepreneur.

-Josie Robbins ‘17

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yet,” Rebecca Revett ‘14 said, “but I am excited for the comfort the blanket will have and how I will be able to curl up in it on cold winter nights watching funny Christmas movies.”

The cost of a blanket is $29.99.

Aside from supporting future entrepreneurs, the class is also donating a dollar to the Cherryland Humane Society for every blanket sold.

“It makes me happy that with the purchase of a blanket I can help support dogs in need,” Revett said.

Along with the purchase of a blanket, customers will also receive coupons to the Brew, The Cottage, The Kitchen, Wuerfel Park, and Peegeos. Those who pre-order a blanket will be entered into a raffle where the winner gets a free night stay at the resort.

Each student is responsible for selling 16 blankets. Through trial and error, Robbins has found the ideal group of people this product leans towards.

“I have sold a lot to my mom’s friends,” Robbins said. “Our target audience is older people because they have a lot more money, and it is Christmas season, which makes our blanket a perfect Christmas present.”

Query and his classmates are always eager to sell.

“We don’t really have a specific business hour where we are open for business, we are virtually always open for business,” he said.

Robbins feels this class has altered her original views on business.

“The main reason I initially joined this class was because you can make money from the class and you get to take home a payment at the end of the semester,” Robbins said. “But after selling the blankets I noticed that by taking this class I am more interested in business and becoming an entrepreneur when I’m older.”

Photo: E. Simon

Above is a box of warm clothes for those who need them, part of Autumn Mccuien ‘16’charity. Most of the clothing comes from her own purchases of gloves and sweaters, her personal closet, and donations from families. “There are people that need more help, and if I can do that for them then I should do it,” Mccuien said.

“I’ve been lucky to have everything I need.” Mccuien said.

“It’s rewarding knowing I can’t be repaid, and I don’t expect to be.”

Mccuien believes every bit helps, no matter how insignificant it seems.

“The smallest thing can change anyone’s day,” Mccuien said.

“Smiling at someone or asking how their day is can change someone’s perspective.”

Mccuien is always looking for donations; warm clothes are always needed. Anyone can contact Mccuien through her Facebook, she’s happy to give her number to anyone who comes up to her and wants to help or has donations.

“It’s just something that I do just to make other people happy,” Mccuien said.

Mccuien hopes to continue making a difference by joining the Peace Corps after she finishes college. She plans to always help others, from the far corners of the earth and everywhere in between.

“I’ve always recognized my passion for helping people,” Mccuien said. “I plan on going into the medical field, and volunteering at the same time. It’s who I am. This is how I want to live my life, if I can help change the world, then I’ll do anything to do it.”

Sales pitch horror stories

Students learn the difficulties of selling their product Questions: 1. What were some funny or memorable moments you had while selling blankets?

2. What was your favorite moment selling blankets?

3. What is your sales pitch to a customer?

Jordan Query ‘16

1. “I was going around a neighborhood selling blankets and an old man answered the door. I went through my entire sales pitch and he yelled back to his wife and said ‘Honey do we need a blanket?’ and she yelled back ‘HE** NO!’ Then the guy said ‘No thanks,’ and slammed the door in my face. It was one of my first sales so it was really bad.”

2. “My favorite moment is when they buy one because I am one blanket less I have to sell because no one really wants a blanket. It’s like going door to door selling macaroni and cheese, people just buy it out of pity and not because they really want it.”

Photo: E. Simon

3. “You look really cold, would you like to buy a blanket?”

1. “One time my friend and I went to another friend’s home. He wasn’t home, but his little sister let us into his house until her mom got home. We ate all their food while we waited and then when her mom got home she bought a blanket from me.”

Josie Robbins ‘17

2. “I don’t really have one, I always just try to put a Christmas twist on it. They think they’re killing two birds with one stone because when they already most likely will buy one just because they want to support me and they might also have forgot to give someone a gift for the holidays.”

3. “Buy a blanket or I’ll fail, and we can’t have that now can we,’” Josie Robbins ‘17 said to her mom. “It still took me three weeks to get her to buy one.”

Photo: E. Simon

6 Tech

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

In the future... In depth with Tech Central Technology is forever changing, see what these students would like to see from technology during the year of 2015 Noah Aulicino Staff Reporter

“I’m really excited about theGoogle phone, Project Ara. It’s just a complete new approach to smartphones.”

-Hannes Iven ‘15 “In the near future, I’d like to see some kind of hoverboard or shoes that tie themselves, or some kind of flying cars like in Back to the Future, it would be cool.”

-Bain Donegan ‘16

“I want to see better technical security, it’s a big issue.

Things can get leaked, hacked or stolen. In general, I’d like to see it improve.”

-Dante Vozza ‘17

“I want to see a better battery, that would change technology the most. Even just one that’s lighter weight or higher powered.”

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Jack Smith ‘15

As netbook damage continues, Tech Central is behind all the repairs, resulting in high fines for students Bethany Pataky Staff Reporter

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shley Orlowski ‘17 sits behind a table in Tech Central as a student comes in with his or her problematic netbook. She looks at it, asks a few questions, then gives her diagnostic. Orlowski, as well as other students in the tech office, help students with their netbooks by making battery switches as well as other simple procedures.

“When people come in, we ask for the problem and if we can fix it, we do,” Orlowski says.

“If we can’t then we tell the teacher that’s in there and they can teach us how to fix it.”

Other students in the Student Tech class are familiar with similar issues as Orlowski.

“We primarily reimage computers. This means wiping the computer as well as putting on the main programs,” Orlowski said. “We have to do this because students download so many things and they create viruses on their computers.”

Students in this class have to deal with more than just clearing computers, they also have to physically fix parts of the computers, such as the screens.

“Normally there is a little wire that connects the screen to the computer, sometimes if that wire loosens, the screen goes white or the image moves around,” Orlowski said. “We take off the plastic part from around the screen off, then we take off the four screws that surround the screen. We then reattach the wire so the screen is fixed. This only takes about five minutes.”

Any issues larger than viruses and password changes usually require payments from the

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We want our students and learners to go out into this digital day and age prepared...

-Winifred Bell

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Photo: E. Simon

Photo: E. Simon Luke Lozowski ‘17 flips through papers that are in need of filing in Tech Central. “My counselor advised me to take this class because I like technology, and I’m glad I did,” Lozowski said.

“I really like to help people with their technological issues. This class allows me to do that, as well as learn something myself.”

student.

“We most commonly see screen and battery damage,” Winifred Bell, Tech Central advisor says. “Things such as cracked screens, broken batteries, if they lose the power cord or their case needs to be paid for. Generally, anything physically damaged.”

Every student has to sign the Acceptable Use Agreement before he or she receives a netbook from the school, usually during orientation. This year, Tech Central has been trying to help out students by reducing the chance they get a damaged battery. This means no longer allowing students to check out batteries.

“The administration of Central and TCAPS came to the conclusion that after meetings with the tech department, the more you switch out your battery, the more likely you are to damage it,” Bell said. “This year alone, the rate of damaged batteries went down 66% with this being implemented.”

Not only can one prevent damage by not switching out a battery, but they can also take simple steps, making it easier to avoid a fine.

“Students can prevent damage to their netbooks by refraining from picking them up by their screens,” Orlowski said. “Usually,

this rips out the bottom of the netbook. They can also put the netbook in their case, which most students don’t do and not mess with batteries so much.”

Implemented across TCAPS schools, technology has been quite a significant piece of our education.

“In elementary schools they have two students per laptop,” Bell said. “And they stay at school.”

A lot of our technology success has been attributed to our programs.

“Students between sixth and twelfth grade have the One to World program,” Bell said. “We got this program in Mar. 2011 at Central. It became available to our middle schools last year.”

TCAPS Administration wants the best for our students and hopes the new rules will assist the students in the district.

“Ideally, we want our students and learners to go out into this digital day and age prepared, we try our best to help them do that,” Bell said. “We constantly look for ways to improve our system. TCAPS always evaluates new technology and seeing if things are cost effective.”

The age old question, Android or iPhone To some, a phone is just a phone; but, for others, phones are the center to their everyday lives or careers. Hear Central student imput on whether or not they prefer Android or iPhone phones

Hunter Kelly

Focus Page Editor

Team Android:

“I am team Android because you can customize them more than you can an iPhone.

Also, Androids have better storage than an iPhone does.”

-Sarah McCray ‘15 “I like Androids because they have better battery life.

Also, the apps are awesome and the Android operating system has more advanced things than iPhones.”

-Jennifer Burfield ‘15

Team iPhone:

“I am team iPhone because iPhones are so much easier to use than Androids are.”

-Cameron Faught ‘17

“I am more of a

Graphic: H. Lancashire

fan of iPhones because everyone basically has an iPhone and I feel like it’s the norm for people to have them.” -Alie Little ‘15

“I like my iPhone because my grandma got it for me, so it was free. Of course I’m going to like it.” -Makayla Robinson ‘15

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

Central stifled by Blue Devils While they started out ahead, Central struggled with teamwork while Gaylord’s athleticism got them the win

Photo: C. Brower

Going up for a basket in the fight against the Gaylord Blue Devils is Jack Schrameyer ‘16, while Lucas Rowe ‘15 is ready to fight for a rebound. “We came out flat, really flat,” Schrameyer said. “We didn’t play our game, we took stupid shots, we didn’t attack the hoop like we usually do, and none of our shots fell.” After five personal fouls, Schrameyer fouled out. “I was trying to be as vocal as I could on the floor and even after I fouled out I wanted my teammates to know I was still in the game mentally, even though I wasn’t physically.”

Erin Lipp

Editor-in-Chief and Sports Editor

S

tarting off the game winning the tipoff, the Trojans held a lead against the Gaylord Blue Devils until the end of the first quarter. Gaylord scored the first basket, but Jackson Schrameyer ‘16 followed it up with a foul shot and another two points.

Devante Walker ‘17 came through with the first three-point shot of the game bringing the score to 7-4.

“We came out a little cocky and expected to win which didn’t help us,” Walker said. “But I feel like I stayed calm for most of the time and helped my team get the best shot we could.”

After another few shots from both the Blue Devils and the Trojans, the first quarter ended with the Trojans leading 11-7. Starting the second quarter, Gaylord tied the game 11-11 quickly and then pulled ahead with a threepoint shot. This started the deficit the Trojans were not able to come back from.

“We came in expecting to win,” Heach Coach Jeff Turner said. “We knew it was going to be tough because Gaylord has so many good athletes, they’re really competitive. They got that lead on us in the first half and we never could recover from that.”

After multiple fouls from five Central players resulting in successful free throw shots for the Blue Devils, as well as a few runs to the rim

by Gaylord, they brought the score to 25-15.

By the end of the first half, the Trojans’ lead scorer, Schrameyer, was already hit with three personal fouls. Another minute later and the first half concluded.

“After the first half we got ramped up a little bit,” Walker said, “and came back from our deficit but it just wasn’t enough.”

As the third quarter got under way the Blue Devils took charge with a run of shots broken up by a couple shots from Walker and Danny Brott ‘15 bringing the score to 33-19.

“Danny Brott did a really nice job for us tonight,” Turner said. “He didn’t play last year and he’s back out this year and we’re glad he’s there and we love him and he had a really nice game. He kept his time and got the opportunity and did some things for us.”

Gaylord came on really strong in the second part of the third quarter. On fire with their drives to the rim and their foul shots, the Blue Devils stretched their lead on the Trojans to 4427 as the third quarter came to an end.

“We had some slow rotations on defense that didn’t help us,” Lucas Rowe ‘15 said. “We didn’t communicate well especially on our defensive rotations which caused us a lot of problems.

We thought we were heroes a few times and we weren’t. We went on our little play-making fiasco and we can’t do that.”

Throughout the game, Rowe found that he and the team needed to work on controlling their tempers.

“I need to work on keeping my composure and not getting frustrated like I did out there tonight,” Rowe said.

Walker agreed that communication factored into frustration.

“After we went down we started getting mad at each other and that just brought everything down and made people make even more mistakes,” he said. “The communication needs to be better and we need to stay calmer.”

As the fourth quarter began, Gaylord brought the point difference to the biggest it was all night, 48-28. After Mason Houston ‘16 snagged a Gaylord pass, he lead it down to the basket setting up Schrameyer for his first dunk of the season.

“We were still down and it didn’t really do anything point-wise,” Schrameyer said, “but I think after that dunk our intensity went up and our team knew that we still had a chance.”

After a run of Trojan fouls, Central worked the deficit down to 52-45 with strong defense and rebounding.

“In the fourth we had a nice run for a while and cut their lead back down,” Rowe said.

But it wasn’t enough. Houston committed a foul and a technical foul bringing Gaylord up another four points, leading them to their final score of 62-47; winning the game by 15 points.

“We feel that if we can hold teams to 50 points or under, we’re going to have a chance to win a lot of games,” Turner said. “Tonight they got 62 points so that was too many. We’re going to be working on that as we continue to work on our communication throughout the season.”

New coaches come on board at Central With previous coaches retiring and moving on, the Trojan wrestling and girls soccer teams are welcoming new head coaches to the programs Dr. Donald Funk

Alex Stern

Staff Reporter The year is full of firsts for Central’s new wrestling Head Coach, Dr. Donald Funk, as he joins Trojan Athletics and opens Structure and Function Chiropractor, shortly after finishing his doctoral schooling in Portland, Oregon.

Volunteering in camps and clinics as well as assistant coaching, Funk did not want to pass up the opportunity at hand.

“This is my first time as a head coach,” Funk said. “Central’s got a great tradition and really great athletics, and I wanted to be a part of that.”

With coaching and his business, Funk keeps busy but he finds they fit together well.

“I have a sports wellness focus in my practice, so this community really plays into that and what I

Sarah Melius

Shaine Kearney Staff Reporter

The shrill shriek of the whistle can be heard from across the pitch as former assistant coach Sarah Melius subs in another player.

After being the assistant coach for the Trojan girls soccer team last year, Melius has moved up to the position of head coach for the upcoming season.

“I was only the assistant coach for one year,” Melius said, “but I have been able to see the girls

Photo: E. Simon

do for a living,” he said. “Owning my own business really helps in games at the competitive level while sitting on the bench rather than watching from off the field.”

Having coached freshman volleyball at West Senior High last year, as well as playing soccer at the collegiate level for Winona State University, Melius is not without some coaching or soccer experience despite only being the assistant at Central coach for a short time.

“I’m a teacher at West Middle School and the coach last year had needed an assistant coach so I applied for that,” Melius said.

“That’s how I was able to get into Central’s coaching position.”

me to set my own schedule as far as practices and meets and being available to the guys.” Although the two may play into each other, they are both very demanding.

“Practice and meets just take time, and there’s boosters and communicating with parents so we’re all on the same page,” Funk said. “There’s a lot going on behind the scenes with the team and my business. If I’m not in the office treating patients, then I have to be focusing on marketing my business because I’m the owner and I’m responsible for bringing in new patients. If I’m not doing that, I’m out in the community doing volunteer activities and different demonstrations or handling the financials and accounting to make sure all of that stuff is lined up.”

In high school, Funk was a two time MHSAA All-State wrestler as well as a two time Big 8 conference champion from Jonesville High School. Funk continued

his wrestling career in college becoming a four-time varsity letter athlete in NCAA Division I at Eastern Michigan University, in addition to an NHSCQA Academic All-American. Central’s wrestling team has about twenty athletes who Funk is ready to teach his skills.

“My goal is the same as every season; to win the state championships, for the team to beat every match and give their all, that is the main goal,” he said. “This year is a learning year, but that is definitely the main goal as well as a conference championship.”

The season is laid out with fourteen conference competitions, then districts, regionals, and state finals the first week of March.

Funk is glad he was given this opportunity and plans to make the best of it.

“I had an opportunity to coach this great group of kids,” Funk said, “and I couldn’t pass that up.”

Ending last season fourth in the BNC, the new head coach is confident the team will have an excellent season, possibly even winning the BNC championship.

“Last year I was able to see some of the things that worked really well and so I want to keep those things in the program,” Melius said. “We have a lot of girls coming back and we have a lot of new people that have been really interested in the program, most of which have signed up for pre-season things like indoor soccer.”

In order to bring them closer together before the season, the team has been involved in a few

different fundraising activities such as working at the Iceman bike race and working concessions at Central football games.

“I have been able to work with the off season captains so I think that has been helpful,” Melius said.

“We ended the season extremely well and being able to build off of that I think will be helpful also.”

Melius is looking forward to the success that lies ahead.

“I am definitely grateful and excited to be named the head coach,” she said. “If we come in strong, winning the BNC is definitely a possibility this year.”

Sports

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Graphic: C. Hansen

Aside from Central’s tradition of being successful, each team has their own traditions that continue off the competitive field. Here coaches and players discuss their traditions

Erin Lipp

Editor-in-Chief and Sports Editor Starting last year the Trojan girls’ basketball teams began a new tradition with Head Coach Heather Simpson; a Springhill retreat. Once tryouts are over and teams have been decided, the girls pile onto a bus for a weekend at Springhill.

“My goal when taking the position was to create a family like atmosphere for our program not just our individual teams,” Head Coach Heather Simpson said. “This retreat is not about basketball or what skills you have, it is about you as an individual and being a great teammate.”

In the early cold of this year, the team began the retreat by playing paintball. Throughout the weekend they did a lot of team building activities the Springhill counselors organized for them, along with some chilly zip lining.

“The structured activities give us all memories,” Emily Jenkins ’16 said. “We can laugh together later in the year as we say things like ‘oh remember that time when this happened during paintball,’ the team bonding activities also help us have patience with each other and we realize we are on a team and fighting among ourselves is the worst possible idea.”

While the structured time helps the team come together, the free time they have helps them come closer.

“That’s when we really get to know each other,”

Photo: courtesy R. Sack, TC Rick Photo

Bonding with her team and the winter elements is Mikhaila Shepler ‘15 as she zip-lines at Springhill during the girls basketball team retreat. “It wasn’t just our varsity team bonding it was the whole program,” Shepler said. “I think very few other programs bond on all levels.”

Jenkins said. “We tell jokes, learn more about each other, and really become friends as well as teammates.”

The retreat prepares the team for working together in the game they love. Team members notice the effect of the retreat in their ability to work together on the court.

“We know how to treat each other,” Jenkins said.

“We’re very encouraging on the court, but we also know when to hold each other accountable when we’re not hustling or something. By being closer friends we start to develop more trust between each other, which carries over to the court. We get to a point where we can tell what each other are thinking.”

As the retreat has prepared them to collaborate as a united team, they have goals they would like to accomplish.

“Our three main goals are to go undefeated in the BNC, win a district championship, and make it through the season without gaining disrespect for any of our teammates,” Eliza McCall ‘15 said, “because that doesn’t help us on the court.”

With the effects of the retreat being quite clear during the season, Simpson plans on continuing the Springhill retreat as it becomes a tradition.

“We will do this retreat every year that I coach,” Simpson said. “There are multiple reasons why our program benefits from going on this retreat but mostly for the memories that every student athlete can take with them.”

1. State Performance D1 Conference Champions 2008, District competitors without hardware

2. Number of Players

11 players on Varsity, 11 players on JV, 7 players on Freshman

3. Average Training Time

2.5 hours, 5-6 days a week; 500 hours of volunteering

8 A&E

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

Singing letters of Christmas Focus:

Vocal Majority begins their winter fundraiser of caroling around the Traverse City community to raise funds

Photo: M. Hoagg

Front row from left to right: Madelynn Brady ‘18, Grace Argyle ‘18, Marissa Smith ‘17, and Mae Smith ‘17. Back row from left to right: Cassidy Merten ‘16, Taylor Bills ‘16, Ellie McPherson ‘16, and Emma Togrul ‘18 all perform at a caroling event. “It’s a lot of fun to hang out with the other girls and be able to sing for the people and make them happy,” Argyle said.

Carly Hernden Staff Reporter

Surrounded by smiling faces and Christmas spirit, Vocal Majority carolers prepare themselves to perform for people around Traverse City.

“It’s much more personal because the

carolers are standing a few feet away from the people that hired them,” Sarah Gibson ‘17 said. “At a concert it seems to be really formal, and caroling is very informal even though you have your concert attire on.”

The carolers are split into quartets for performances, or sometimes carol as a

Top 5 Vocal Majority caroling songs #1 #2

Carol of the Bells Angels We Have Heard on High

#3

Silent Night

#4

Deck the Halls

#5

Believe

whole ensemble. The carolers travel to anywhere in Traverse City for the performances.

“If we are called and it’s within the dates we perform, we’ll go there. We can go to any type of office, sometimes at restaurants,” Taylor Bills ‘16 said. “We have even gone to some people’s houses.”

The proceeds go towards trips and necessities for Vocal Majority.

“The purpose of the fundraiser is so we can take our usual trips down to Grand Rapids to do clinics with high end instructors,” Bills said. “It also pays for our bus fares down there and our traveling expenses.”

Quartets will typically choose the songs they perform, but will sing some songs the audience requests.

“Our repertoire is provided by Mrs. Wolf-Schlarf,” Gibson said. “It’s basic holiday songs, both sacred songs and ones about Santa. We do some songs you normally wouldn’t hear, but it is mainly based around the holidays.”

The most requested songs are common holiday tunes such as Silent Night.

“I really like performing Carol of the Bells because it’s a classic and sounds really cool when the whole ensemble performs it,” Gibson said.

Common fundraisers for other groups would be selling items or packages, but Vocal Majority prefers to raise money simply by using their talent and creativity.

“You get a really fun opportunity to be with your quartet from all the traveling you do,” Bills said. “Everyone is so appreciative of it and it definitely sparks Christmas spirit.”

Performing can be a nerve-wracking experience. For Gibson, she starts out nervous but gets comfortable quickly.

“I tell myself ‘it’s ok, you’ve practiced this, it’s going to be ok,’” Gibson said. “It takes getting through the first song and you say ‘Oh! That wasn’t that bad. I’ll do another one.’”

All of the Vocal Majority performers find something deeper than the initial fundraiser idea behind the caroling.

“You can tell the Christmas spirit is entranced through everyone and it’s a really great feeling that we are able to share that,” Bills said. “Everyone is happy to see young kids out doing something for the community.”

Quartet performances are $25 and the ensemble performances are $100. To purchase a performance you can call Wendee WolfSchlarf at (231) 933-7571

Sporting the National Anthem the Tigers’ way Jenna Elsenheimer ‘18 is a regular attendee at Tigers’ games, performing the National Anthem for the thousands of fans at the stadium

Julia Vannatter

A&E Editor and Business Manager As the eyes of 46,000 people focus on Jenna Elsenheimer ‘18, she repeats ‘don’t forget the words, don’t forget the words’ over and over in her head. Elsenheimer is performing the National Anthem at a Tigers game—an event that Elsenheimer sings at regularly.

“I first got involved with the performances when I was 12 years old,” Elsenheimer said. “My mom knows someone who works with the Tigers and they invited me to come sing there.”

Elsenheimer has been singing her entire life and has always enjoyed singing in front of others. Her first Tigers game debut was on Fathers’ Day in 2012.

“

In the moment right before I sang, I wasn’t really nervous. I thought about how I didn’t know any of the people in the stadium, I was doing it for my family.

-Jenna Elsenheimer ‘18

“I always watch what I eat and I’m sure to drink a lot of water,” Elsenheimer said. “It can make me more nervous because I’m thinking about how it could affect my performance. I try not to eat too much because then I could get sick.”

With the perfect mindset and proper preparation, the largecrowd performances are effortless. Elsenheimer has always had positive feedback from her friends and family, along with all of the Tigers fans at the stadium.

“The performing feels really good because everyone is so supportive of me singing, it’s what I really like to do,” Elsenheimer said. “When I’m done singing, everyone stops to tell me I did a good job.”

Elsenheimer also competes in various local contests and sings for many Veteran and FBI-related events.

“I would like to continue singing at similar events I do now and sporting events. And maybe even have a career in singing,” Elsenheimer said. “Singing has had a big impact on my life because it is my biggest talent.”

”

“I was really scared,” she said. “But I was also really excited because my grandpa got to come watch me. It was an amazing experience.”

Elsenheimer described the stadium as “packed.” She focused hard on keeping her nerves down and approached the performance with an all-or-nothing attitude.

“In the moment right before I sang, I wasn’t really nervous because I was thinking about the words and telling myself to remember them,” Elsenheimer said. “I thought about how I didn’t know any of the people in the stadium, I was doing it for my family.”

But since her first performance, Elsenheimer isn’t bothered by the thought of performing in front of thousands of people anymore. Along with setting the nerves aside, Elsenheimer focuses on preparation. This is key in the days leading up to the performance.

Metals & Jewelry Brenna Argue ‘15

Photo: E. Simon

Name of Piece: Cailleach Materials used: jeweler’s saw, sandpaper, a buffer and a drill press Techniques: “I would start by drilling a hole in the middle of a spot that I was going to cut out and then I would put the saw through the hole and cut the shape out from the inside out.”

Inspiration of Piece: “We were supposed to do something that was based off of celtic designs.

The piece was supposed to have spots cut out of it, so it’s celtic-themed.”

Why did you choose this piece to be published?

“This is my favorite piece and I have enjoyed making this one the most.”

Will Beattie ‘17

Photo: E. Simon

Name of Piece: Shapes Materials used: jeweler’s saw, a buffer, various files and a drill press Techniques: “One technique I used to make this piece was piercing. Piercing is a technique that is used when you want to cut out the shapes in the metal piece.”

Inspiration of Piece: “I started with a circle and from there I began to add the shapes that I had cut out, like triangles.”

Why did you choose this piece to be published?

“This piece was my favorite one that I had made because I did better on it than the first one that I created.”

Andeta Karamina ‘15

Photo: E. Simon

Photo: courtesy of A. Elsenheimer

Displayed on the jumbo-screen, Jenna Elsenheimer ‘17 performs the National Anthem at a Tigers Game. Elsenheimer often doesn’t like the angle the cameraman takes of her while she is singing. “Sometimes I have to put my arm in front of the camera,” Elsenheimer said.

Name of Piece: Marrian Materials used: a saw, a drill press, a buffer and sandpaper Techniques: “First I drew the design on paper. I cut it out, stuck it in copper and sawed it. Then I put it into the drill press and made a hole, which cut out and used sandpaper to make it smooth. Finally I made a clasp and made it into a necklace.”

Inspiration of Piece: “The assignment was to make something celtic and I just used my imagination.”

Why did you choose this piece to be published?

“This one was my favorite because it was my first piece, it was something that I made by myself. It’s quite hard and I hand made it.”

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

Winter

9

Graphic: H. Lancashire

Page Credit: Hunter Kelly, Hayley Rozema, Noah Aulicino, Andrea Bavikatty and Nicole Rogers

Holiday Baking

After whipping up a batch of homemade cookie dough, Maggie Jenkins ‘18 carefully places the dough onto a baking sheet, ready to be placed in the oven.

“I think decorating cookies is like decorating your house for Christmas,” Jenkins said. “Baking and then decorating what you made is just another way to raise the holiday spirit.”

Jenkins’ family even has holiday traditions that revolve around baking and decorating sugar cookies.

“We make the cookie dough, and then my sisters and I split it so that we each have an even amount of it,” Jenkins said. “We use these cookie cutters that are shaped like a gingerbread man, a tree, a star, and an ornament.

After we bake them, we use different colored frostings, sprinkles, and little candies to decorate them.”

Jenkins also enjoys the do-it-yourself aspect of baking and the accomplishment of having created something herself.

“Baking something myself is more fun because I have the satisfaction of doing it myself,” Jenkins said. “Having a cookie that you made yourself is better than buying one in a store because you know you made it.”

Skiing, Snowboarding

Photo: courtesy of G. Pickett

Gabe Pickett ‘18 and Maggie Dutmers ‘17 shred the slopes in hopes of gaining skills and some amusement.

“My least favorite part about snowboarding is falling,” Pickett said. “But the thrill I get keeps me motivated to get back up and try again.”

Although Pickett enjoys snowboarding individually, Dutmers prefers to ski with a team rather than independently.

“Skiing on a team not only makes my attitude better but it also changes everybody else’s attitude,” Dutmers said. “You are not only skiing

Photo: courtesy of M. Jenkins

Figure Skating

Skates cutting through the ice, Sarah Townsend ‘17 glides across the rink, focused on perfecting her routine for the Christmas Show at Center Ice. “I have been skating since I was six,” Townsend said. “It’s definitely my favorite sport. I love getting to compete and perform in shows.”

No matter the season, Townsend enjoys spending her time skating, whether it be just having fun with friends or preparing for her competitive skating team’s show.

“I skate about four days a week all year round,” Townsend said.

“I think it’s a great way to express yourself. I love getting to work with the people at the rink, they’re amazing.”

Although Townsend skates all year, the type of competition she participates in changes with the season.

“I do solo competition, which starts in June,” Townsend said.

“During the winter I really enjoy synchronized skating and getting to compete with other girls on the team. With synchronized figure skating, your whole team is connected, so you have to do things at the same time.”

Even if students are not skating competitively, they still have fun at the rink. Center Ice hosts an Open Skate on Saturdays at 3:00pm and Sunday at 1:00pm. The cost per person to skate is four dollars and skates are extra.

“Sometimes I go to Open Skate and skate with friends,” Townsend said. “My friends and I at the rink are all really close, we spend so much time together and we always enjoy skating.”

for yourself but you are looking out for your team and making sure you are doing your best for the other people.”

Pickett and Dutmers have both participated in winter sports for a couple of years.

“I got started snowboarding about two years ago,” Pickett said. “I saw a lot of people doing it and it looked fun, plus it’s something to help keep busy during the winter time.”

Dutmers enjoys skiing at many places but her favorite ski resorts are Hickory and Boyne Highlands.

“I grew up skiing on Hickory,” Dutmers said.

“That hill contains the most memories and is where I’ve had the most fun. I also like going to Boyne Highlands, although I only like to go a couple times a year.”

Pickett and Dutmers both use their winter sports resourcefully. Pickett believes that snowboarding is a good way to keep distracted from things that are very stressful. Dutmers uses it as a way to help her grow as a person.

“Skiing on a team not only makes my attitude better but it also changes everybody elses attitude,” Dutmers said. “You are not only skiing for yourself but you are looking out for your team and making sure you are doing your best for the other people.”

Christmas As the snow falls, lights sparkle, and christmas music plays, Martin Chown ‘18 and his family hang ornaments delicately on the tree.

“To celebrate the holidays, I like to spend time with my family,” Chown said “We always do fun activities, like decorating trees, exchanging gifts and baking cookies” The Chown family enjoys gathering annually to pick out a christmas tree together.

“The trees we get are always real. We like to get them from a local tree farm down the road, then we take it home and spend time decorating it. My family and I usually do this together,” Chown said. “Most of the ornaments have been passed down from my grandparents, or were gifts.”

Picking out and decorating trees is only one of many ways Chown enjoys spending his holidays.

“Of course I’m happy to get presents,” Chown said. “Mostly, though, I like to give my family gifts. I really like seeing their excitement and making them happy.”

Like Chown and many others, Hannah Radosevich ‘16 looks forward to giving to her family, but on top of that she enjoys the atmosphere of the holidays.

“I really like the decorations and the classic holiday music,” Radosevich said. “The First Noel is my favorite, it’s really uplifting.”

When enjoying the holiday atmosphere, Radosevich finds it most important to spend quality time with her mom.

“My mom and I like to watch It’s A Wonderful Life every year,” Radosevich said. “We also usually see White Christmas. We never really do things together so it’s definitely something I look forward to doing over winter break.”

Photo: courtesy of: M. Chown

Photo: E. Simon

Volunteering Filling popcorn bags, Allie Friar ‘15 smiles as she spends her Saturday afternoon volunteering for the State Theatre.

“Two of my favorite places to volunteer are the State Theatre and the Bijou by the Bay,” Friar said. “It’s really nice because it is easy and fun. I just sell concessions and make popcorn. I also get a little bit of popcorn and a drink after I’m done.”

Another event students can volunteer for is hosted at Michael’s Place, a foundation that helps people cope with their grief after they’ve lost somebody close.

“Every year, they have a Christmas cookie decorating event where you can come and help the children and decorate cookies for the holidays,” Friar said. “It’s really nice to help those people.”

Helping others is especially important to Friar around the holidays because it is the ideal time for giving.

“In our community, there are a lot of people who are less fortunate,” Friar said. “When you volunteer during the holidays, you’re helping keep people fed and warm during the Christmas season and that’s really important.”

10 Ads

Olweus

overall program.

“To me, Continued from opening pg. 1 up those ways of interrelating and to understand and empathise with each other, that prevents all kinds of problems,” Burden said, “In terms of prevention, I think it all kind of goes together. Olweus is focusing on bullying because thats what their program is about, but I think if we take that world away and put in more of the stuff that is real at Central High School, we would be better off.”

In only its second year, Olweus is continuing to grow and adapt to Central.

“If we walk out of here in June,” Burden

said, “and people feel truly connected to Central High School or feel truly connected to another student or a staff member, then we’ve done it, that would be my goal.”

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

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Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014

Key Club Continued from pg. 3 Members also put everyday products in their shopping carts. These simple, yet very special gifts brighten up the family’s Christmas.

“For me, volunteering is extremely rewarding,” Hagerty said. “Helping others and meeting new people is a great experience to have. The holiday season is one of the best times of the year to give back, and helping even just one family have a better Christmas is the perfect way to close the year.”

With the abundance of members this year, the Christmas feeling gets around the club

quickly. “There is definitely more energy this year,” Cole said. “People wouldn’t get as excited in previous years, it’s nothing compared to this year.”

This excitement pushes the club to do their best and make a better holiday for the community. By going to grocery stores, ringing bells and helping children, the members make a big difference in someone’s holiday season.

“I love volunteering,” Cole said. “I feel that helping people is what community is all about.

I feel very good inside that I can affect someone for the better.”

Assault

have come to light recently weren’t the first Cosby has been accused of. Some Continued from allegations date back to the pg. 2 early 2000’s, yet they were 8 percent are strangers. Prepushed aside like nothing. tending horrific assaults like Its an alarming.

Jackie’s never occurred and I’m not some radical femitrudging forward is almost nist trying justify sexual asas bad sault liars. as the When we focus There are crime this much of our certainly itself. cases that scrutiny on the vicUsing just aren’t the she tims’ choices, rather and didn’t than the perpetrators, true, those want to we award innocence people be the need to the guilty and guilt girl who to be to the innocent. cried accosted “rape” for their lies. However, excuse if she came forward when we focus this much about the assault is appallof our scrutiny on the ing. But far too often this victims’ choices, rather than topic is shunned; take for the perpetrators, we award example actor and stand-up innocence to the guilty and comedian Bill Cosby. These guilt to the innocent. allegations of rape that

“

”

Reading Continued from pg. 1 tage of technology by encouraging students to use phones positively instead of as a distraction from academics.

“That’s a hump actually for the teachers and administrators to get over,” Woughter said. “We have seen phones as a distraction so much. But finding the balance so we can use technology to promote reading without providing an excuse not to read is an interesting growing curve for us.”

One way Central librarians have been trying to utilize technology is by advocating TCAPS Virtual Online library.

“Mrs. Woughter was really good about taking pictures and putting them online,” Green said.

The amount of downloaded books has grown significantly with the program.

“The technology allows students to

11

access the books anywhere they are with our virtual library,” Woughter said.

Students can do more than simply download books on their phones.

There are several tools for less fluent readers.

“Struggling readers have access to looking up words, listening to the text, it provides a lot of what we call adaptive technology for students who need that push to get through the text and not get bogged down,” Woughter said.

These developments in reading technology provide the potential to make reading accessible to a larger audience.

“A bit of encouragement for those who don’t like to read or don’t feel good about their ability to read seeing, that other people are involved, is my main target,” Woughter said.

12 The Leek

News in Brief Mitchell Mosley & Kanthony Staff Reporters

Totally busted

Recently CNN released a set of acronyms that teens have been avidly using nowadays. A few of these include the classic “LOL” (laugh out loud), “TTYL” (talk to you later) and “GTG” (got to go), but what you don’t know is teens have a full blown language to themselves.

The more technological and advanced parts of their new updated list includes “PRON” (porn), “GYPO” (get your pants off) and “IPN” (i’m posting naked). These scandalous terms have been hidden from parents for years, and now, our secret is out.

Here at The Leek, we decided to come up with a few of our own acronyms we believe parents should be aware of. After serious thought and meticulous planning, we’ve collected a list of acronyms that should be brought forward. For example, the use of “HUWNTBTHDN” (hurry up we need to burn this house down now), or “IOLMAFG” (i’m outside lets meet and fight dragons) and “ISBOTCLSARAOAFITS” (i’m so bored of this class lets skip and run around outside and frolick in the snow), or “PORN” (porn).

Now parents know how us teens have been truly communicating, we can only hope for one thing; redemption. We had all hoped this day wouldn’t come, but it has. I can hear my mother

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold Dec. 16, 2014 Graphics: H. Lancshire

real stories, real people

Disclaimer: Satire, the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose/criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics & other issues

Making a snow day:

The Leek divulges the most popular and most effective strategies to increase the likelihood of a snow day

Backwards pajamas

Snow day dance

Wearing your pajamas inside out not only increases the chances of excessive snowfall, but also the likelihood of rubbing the “downstairs” the wrong way. Because in reality, sleeping in utter discomfort makes the thrill of anticipating a snow day all the more exciting, plus the fact that you look like a straight G. Inside sources in TCAPS administration reveal the practice to be a chronic habit among many administrators. Don’t believe us? Check out your favorite administrator’s gait after a heavy snowfall.

The snow day dance has been practiced for nearly a millennia, with historians finding obscure references in Norse mythology to competitively defecating while upside-down to promote snowfall. Eventually, this ancient custom evolved into a primitive form of dancing. Generational variations have produced unique incarnations of the act. Here at The Leek, we identify the popular act of “twerking” to be our generational rendering of the Norse practice, explaining the influx of “informal” dances during the winter months.

Kill a man

Sacrificing Animals

Studies have shown that killing a man increases the chances of a snow day by at least 127.7 percent. They say that the way the blood flows off of your victim is symbolic of the way snow flows out of clouds on a stormy night, which through the use of supernatural mirror neurons, increases the chance of a snow day. Killing a man also wages a slight chance that the town will go into a frenzy over the drama associated with murder, thus closing school. However, we here at The Leek believe that the whole “frenzy” thing is a little far fetched, symbolism is a little more realistic.

Standard occult protocol usually involves animal sacrifice, however, occults associated with snow day anticipation require an aspect of cannibalism, too. Animals to be sacrificed must be killed through a delicate and planned process. Step one: locate the perfect cattle, similar to the way McDonald’s does, with zero effort. Chances are it’ll be in that old dirt farmers meadow who will probably shoot at you. Step two: net the cattle and hoist him, it must be male, onto a handcart, you’ll probably have to “borrow” it from the main office. Step three: Name him. Step four: Eat him alive.

Pata-not-gucci

With winter well underway, students prepare to wage a two-front war against not only the plummeting temperatures, but the cost in properly outfitting themselves in the latest cold-faring outerwear. For most students, brand-name apparel is quintessential in surviving the unbearable winter months, and one brand seems to champion above them all—Patagonia.

To many, Patagonia epitomizes durability, comfort, and dependability against the elements, but unfortunately for those who actually live outside, like the homeless, a $250 down jacket is usually out of their price range. But for enthusiastic Trojan hockey fans who have to withstand the arctic-like conditions of Howe Arena, a jacket rated for sub-zero temperatures is more than justified. Central student Cak Zollins agrees, “Who cares about the needy? They seem to do just fine with tattered sweatshirts and garbage bags. Besides, I go on plenty of adventures that require pricey apparel because I’m an Eagle Scout.”

Similar thoughts were shared by Zollins’ peer, Stacey Ganton.

“I wouldn’t leave the house without my Patagonia, it keeps me warmer than everyone else, because it’s more expensive. The more you spend on a jacket, the warmer it is. I’m buying one for my boyfriend too, because he’s in college.”

Headlines from around the world Home away from home: Guantanamo Bay

Mission Impossible IV: Getting along in Congress

Kids join ISIS to avoid holiday with relatives

In a not so jolly holiday spirit, students have discovered that the turmoil in the Middle East somehow seems to be less violent and prolific than their own family gatherings, and as a result, have begun joining the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS). Students feel that the pressure to answer awkward college and personal relationship questions to relatives has driven them over the edge. “I can say with a pretty high degree of certainty that I would rather be-head a thousand english reporters than answer one more generic ‘future plans’ question. Just the thought of Aunt Shelley’s victory screech after a drunken euchre triumph, makes me sick,” unpatriotic heathen Kogan Louse said. “It’s not so bad over here any ways. After we slaughtered that entire Jewish family we got to use their hot tub so that was pretty cool I guess.”

Apples new thing that does stuff sometimes

Teens accidently pledge soul to the devil

Many students at Central have signed the Don’t Text and Drive pledge, stating they won’t use their cellular device whilst operating a vehicular device. However, many adults who signed them as teens are now finding the true aftermath of said pledge. Most believe that the words “I accept” are sufficient reading material for the month, or a week at least. Concerned parent Dillon Drossart’s mom states, “I thought I was doing the right thing by signing the pledge. Next thing I know, my first born was taken from me under the cover of darkness.” Many don’t know the extremities that lie beneath. Much like the Apple terms and conditions, most participants just hit accept without truly reading it. This includes hidden consequences such as sacrificing your first born to the state, selling your soul to Satan, being dragged behind Santa’s sleigh, sacrificing your left big toe and many more unspeakable tragedies.

Survey reveals what was already obvious

A recent human decency survey has deemed homophobic people as “the absolute worst scourge of the modern world.” The survey posed questions ranging from “how can you possibly be so selfish” and “what drives you to make the world a place not worth living in?” The results of the survey were, to say the least, astounding. Almost four in five participants admitted that their own falsified sense of superiority was of higher importance than someone’s most basic, unalienable human rights. It also came to light that said individuals harbor this inexplicable hatred simply because of their caste, being either political or religious. We here at The Leek have no shame admitting that the actions of homophobic individuals is a true embarrassment to the rest of the world and is a serious hindrance to modern humanistic and political advancement. Although injustice is never forgotten, it is forgivable. Right your wrongs world, equality is not a sin. Change is coming and it would serve you best to embrace it.

Following the booming release of the iPhone 6, Apple plans to get underway on a new series of essential products by the end of the month.

The idea was first presented at Apple’s Winter Summit meeting where it was announced that the new series first product would be a hearing device labeled iHear. Along with the iHear, Apple plans to, “usher in a new era of completely useless products.”

“I really think that people will enjoy spending so much money on this stupid piece of crap,” Apple CEO Tim Cook said.

Although Apple’s profits have been in the “black” for over a decade now, Cook plans to make the necessary changes to put their competitors at “less of an advantage than a starving Ethiopian child.”

Apple claims that the new “iHear” is simply the beginning of the madness.

“We plan to launch at least five more products by the end of the month that do pretty much the same exact thing,” Cook said. “Each product will come in a wide array of colors, as

well as body sizes, flash memory, and screen resolution, that’s what I call an excellent use of Asian child labor!”

Apple also plans to update the design of the iHear penta-annually by “slightly increasing the size and sharpness” of the object. In addition, Apple plans to offer each new model at a modest rate of X squared.

Apple stores nationwide have begun hiring new employees to cover accommodations for the new customers from the iHear.

“All of our employees are really just washed up hipsters that don’t actually know anything about computers,” Cook said. “However, it is still our goal make sure you feel like some one toothed hillbilly living in an outhouse every time you walk through our doors.”

In addition, Apple has released a statement regarding the aesthetic appeal of the new iHear.

“Well, we definitely plan to use the classic Mac silver,” Cook said. “It has a phenomenal effect of making the product look far more expensive than it really is.”

Continuing the iHear series, Apple plans to release more information about the “iBeat”, an Apple inspired artificial heart, as well as other synthetic organs by the end of the month.

Running under the slogan “we have no medical history,” Apple’s new iBeat is sure to be a hit.

The new iHear series will also come outfitted with Apple Care for a modest price of two human souls. “People like the accessibility and reliability of Apple care,” Cook said. “However, people who do not have Apple care will receive what we here at Apple like to call, ‘no help at all’.”