The Signal: Spring '14, No. 10

The Singal

“915 reasons you belong in Delta Fly Epsilon,” online at Buzzfeedblows.com Vol. XXXX, No. 10

Lucy, newest sister of ΔFlyE April 2, 2014

Serving the Campus Town community since 2045

Christie weighs down Campus Town Oatmeal raisin filched by thief

By Rabbi Carter Williams Resident Jew

The political nightmare is far from over for embattled New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. The Signal has uncovered incriminating evidence revealing that Christie’s staff is responsible for the stagnant development of the College’s Campus Town project, in yet another instance of what appears to be political retaliation.

“Campus Town-gate,” as its critics have dubbed it, dates back to Sept. 27, 2013, during Campus Town’s groundbreaking ceremony. According to a source close to President R. Barbara Gitenstein, Christie’s appearance at the event wasn’t just to pledge his support to the project or advance higher education — he attended in hopes of securing Gitenstein’s endorsement for his 2013 gubernatorial re-election bid.

Gitenstein’s influence as chair for the Middle States Commission on Higher Education and as a board member of both the Mercer County and N.J. Chambers of Commerce would have afforded Christie considerable political influence.

However, Gitenstein rebuked Christie’s request, choosing instead to endorse his opponent, Barbara Buono.

Since then, there has been curiously little development on Campus Town.

The lot has been cleared and a few trees have been uprooted, but no infrastructure has been erected. And according to industry experts, infrastructure is the quintessential aspect of a town.

However, on Friday, March 14, an anonymous source within PRC overseeing Campus Town’s development leaked email correspondences between himself

By Sharkeisha Professional Lightweight

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Christie digs into corruption while The Signal digs up the truth. and Christie’s now former Deputy Chief of Staff, Bridget Kelly.

Kelly writes to the anonymous PRC employee on Nov. 1, 2013, “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee.” The anonymous employee then responds, “What? I work in Red Bank.” Kelly replies a few minutes later, “Crap, wrong email. Time for some delays in Ewing.”

The anonymous employee answers, “Got it.” The following day, work is halted on Campus Town, unbeknownst to the College, with “poor weather conditions” being cited. The weather in Ewing, N.J., that day was sunny with a high of 68 degrees.

In response to the release of these emails, Gitenstein released a statement addressing the scandal.

“I am shocked and appalled by the actions and complete oversight of both Governor Christie’s administration and PRC Campus Centers LLC,” she said.

“It saddens both myself and my administration that New Jersey’s head of state would attempt to settle a petty political dispute by punishing my students. Furthermore, I would like to go on record and say that I still fear for my life.”

Gitenstein then went on to say that Christie “runs New Jersey like ‘The Godfather,’” to which Christie responded in an official statement, “TCNJ sleeps with the fishes.” The governor’s administration quickly clarified his comment, assuring that it was not a veiled threat.

The governor had simply had a long day and “…was in the mood for seafood.”

The Signal reached out to Christie’s office for comment on this recent development and received what appears to be the Christie office’s automated email response: “What are you guys stupid?

Next question.”

An intruder described as a bald male wearing white nurse’s shoes was apprehended in Eickhoff Hall while in the process of stealing an oatmeal raisin cookie.

Campus Police was alerted of the intruder when a worker at Bliss Bakery noticed strange behavior from the androgynous man stealthily making his way over to the cookie tray.

“I knew that if I didn’t call the police, he would’ve stolen an oatmeal raisin cookie from a student that potentially wanted it,” said the concerned worker who preferred to remain anonymous. “If he had been successful in stealing a cookie, we might’ve only had about 349 leftover oatmeal raisin cookies to throw out.”

Upon working at Bliss Bakery for the past year, the worker noticed that students couldn’t get enough of the oatmeal raisin cookies, forcing the bakers to work overtime in order to ensure there were enough cookies for the day.

When first alerted of the intruder, Campus Police was slow to respond as they first needed to research what exactly nurse’s shoes were.

While the campus awaited in fear for the man to be apprehended, one student reported her missing father to the police when he didn’t return to the table. Like most diners in Eickhoff, his last words allegedly stated, “I’m going to check out the desserts.”

However, after receiving an emergency alert about the intruder in Eickhoff Hall, the student recognized the description as her missing father — classic dad and his nurse’s shoes.

Campus Police thereafter overturned the emergency alert and profusely apologized to the man, promising him access to any leftover oatmeal raisin cookies there would be at the end of the day in exchange for his understanding. Unfortunately, only lame chocolate chip cookies remained. Everyone starved.

Homecoming in Hell: reforms to save our souls

By Bruce Lee Everlasting Freshman

Homecoming 2013 was the subject of controversy when it was announced that many sweeping changes were being implemented to improve the safety of the event. After large amounts of backlash from the student body, the decision was made to roll back some of these changes. It was a huge mistake.

The mayhem, debauchery and excessive body count of Homecoming 2013 dominated the discussion at the Student Government general body meeting last Wednesday, March 26.

Representatives from the Office of Alumni Affairs detailed their grievances with the event, describing it as a “Fireball-fueled

shitshow of vomit and shame,” an “apocalyptic decline of our prestigious student body” and a “rave-like atmosphere.”

Citing a record 147 transports, 94,472 littered Keystone cans, and “countless displays of disregard to the basic tenants of human decency,” the Office announced the following changes to Homecoming 2014: • Limit of one Natty Daddy per male and one water bottle of Burnett’s per girl.

• Swipe-free doors in residence halls for when everyone loses their IDs. • Quiet hours between the hours of 1 and 3 p.m. This will be enforced by roving CAs. • Installation of mirrors so guests can take a long, hard look at their life as they consume their fifth

INDEX: Nation & World / Page 5 The Singal @tcnjsingal

Editorial / Page 7

Manhunt Club Members hide in gluten-free station and have yet to be found.

See Sports page 24

see BULLY page 4

Tim Lee / Staff Photographer

It is safe to say students went far too ham last year. undercooked hot dog.

• Putting the Puppy Bowl on the sundial lawn, because nothing cheers up crying drunk girls faster than puppies.

• Designated “nap-n-rally” zones, where sleepy guests can sleep on Opinions / 9

the asphalt without fear of being stepped on by others.

• Theme night: Drunk Eickhoff, complete with open bar. Drunk Eickhoff, the standard tailgate postgame, will be a one-stop solution for alcohol AND food. The

Creatures / Page 10

worst offenders may opt to skip the tailgate completely and go directly to Eickhoff.

• Installation of drainpipes in lot 4 since nobody uses the portapotties anyway.

• No drunk photography (this means YOU, Tim Lee).

• Alumni only. Earning a degree means earning the right to attend Homecoming.

• No drunk texting. This doesn’t really have to do with anything, but really, it’s for your own good.

At press time, a petition on change.org supporting these revolutionary changes was signed by 549 alumni.

“As students and alumni, we accepted that we didn’t attend a party school or a sports school,” the petition said. “Homecoming should reflect that.”

Farts & Entertainment / Page 14

Big Gary Alive Larry reunited with longlost brother. Only 4’6” tall, incapable of dunking.

See Creatures page 12

Sports / Who cares

Neon Trees show up Band crashes Spring Concert, continues to make terrible music.

See F&E page 14

page 525,600 The Singal April 2, 2014

Creatures

Squirrels to geese: Get the flock out of here

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

The battle between the geese and squirrels is quickly escalating.

By Paige Turner Boy Band Connoisseur The College is home to some pretty unpredictable squirrels. They rustle under the leaves, they chase each other up the trees and they run in front of students (and potential students on tour). However startling they might be at times, they

have become somewhat of a staple at this campus. The College would just not be the same without the rodents.

However, the days of not having any squirrels on campus might actually be happening. Attracted by the big, shiny balls, a small flock of Canadian geese touched down on campus about a month ago. Other geese quickly found out about

this hidden gem that was the College’s campus, and now the birds want to claim the campus as their spot. But the squirrels aren’t letting that happen without a fight. There is a war between the animals breaking out on campus.

“At first we were okay with the geese being here,” spokessquirrel Thaddeus Peanutwitz said. “We might hoard our nuts, but we’re actually okay with sharing the land. They mainly stayed on the athletic fields, but when more of them started coming onto our side of campus, we were ticked. We’ve been here for years. What gives them the right to take over the entire campus? What, just because they’re bigger? Give me a break.”

This war over which animal owns the campus is becoming a problem for the College. Many students who cut across the grass have to be extra cautious not to step in any goose poop, while many others are nervous to look into the eyes of the geese as they pass them out of fear of being attacked. College officials are worried this will have a negative effect on prospective students.

When The Singal reached out to College president R. Barbara Gitenstein for comment, we were told she was busy separating a brawl

that had started between the two groups on Quimby’s Prairie.

To prevent the problem from escalating, the College has brought in animal behaviorist specialist Bindi Irwin, daughter of the late crocodile hunter Steve Irwin.

Irwin has been exposed to animals from a young age, but after studying the two groups for the past two weeks, she says she has never seen anything like this.

“This fight over who owns what turf reminds me of the wars between the Jets and Sharks, the T-Birds and Scorpions and the Socs and the Greasers,” Irwin said. “It’s incredible, and I wish my dad were here to help me figure out how I can ease the tension and stop a full-on war from breaking out.”

The College hopes the feud will be settled peacefully and as soon as possible and that the two animal groups can live together in harmony. But judging by the squirrels’ latest message, which was written out in nuts in front of the Student Center, this fight war will not end nicely and they plan to ask Roscoe the Lion to join in their fight.

“I only have one word for those filthy birds,” Peanutwitz said. “Get the flock out of here!”

Unveiling the unknown legend, Little Larry

By J.D. Turk U2 Junkie

Everyone on campus knows Big Larry — he could easily be called the College’s most recognizable figure, and its friendliest. Big Larry is an institution at this institution, and many students and faculty members smile upon hearing his name.

One member of the College community, however, is not a fan.

Larry Impleton, head guard of the Brower Student Center’s second floor, considers himself to be a very friendly man. He routinely allows students to sit where they are not strictly allowed, gives access to stairways that many students otherwise would never know existed and often attempts to help with homework of all kinds, especially math.

Yet very few students here at the College know who he is,

or even that he exists at all.

“There’s a guard on the second floor of the Stud?” said senior accounting major Den Ybgib, who has passed all of his math-related classes thanks to a cheat sheet provided by Larry. “Huh, I never would have guessed.”

Larry believes he knows the root of the problem.

“It’s all because of Big Larry,” Larry said. “All the kids, they know ‘Big Larry,’ so when I tell them that my name is Larry, they just assume that I’m him, or that I can’t really exist because that’s his name.”

When reminded that he carried a sheet that said “Written

by Larry” across the top, Ybgib could only recall that at one point Big Larry had helped him with his math work by sending a smaller man to talk to him in the Student Center.

“I’m not small!” the smaller Larry yelled. “I’m 5’1” and weigh 112 pounds. That’s pretty decent for a man of my age!

So I’m not a giant person like ‘Big’ Larry, is that some sort

of crime?”

Diminutive stature notwithstanding, Little Larry is certainly a man worthy of acknowledgement, despite the fact that he is clearly inferior to Big Larry. Our attempts to convince him to change his name proved unsuccessful, however, which will likely make it difficult to remember him.

After all, Larry is such a rare name to hear that it is hard to picture more than one person on this campus having it — yet alone three.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard about Regular-Size Larry,” Little Larry said. “Apparently that guy is a jerk — he runs the fourth floor of the library and won’t even let kids throw wild parties.”

So remember, the next time a small man attempts to solve all of your life’s problems, take a moment and recognize that he, too, is named Larry. But don’t call him Little.

Vito, Sonny, cue ‘The Godfather’ theme song Series’ fourth installment comes to campus

By Justin Time A Joker, a Smoker, a Midnight Toker

The College was made an offer it couldn’t refuse last week when director Francis Ford Coppola asked to use the campus for his shooting of the fourth and final installment of “The Godfather” series.

According to Coppola, he was not interested in making a fourth movie, but seeing the campus inspired him to make “The Godfather Part IV.” “I was actually on my way to my granddaughter’s dance recital, but my stupid GPS told me to take a left too early, and after a scenic ride through Trenton, I arrived at this lovely little campus,” Coppola said. “It was the two lakes that really caught my eye. They’re the perfect place for dumping some bodies.”

The production will begin this upcoming September and is expected to end in December.

“I cannot wait for this to happen,” freshman mobology major Anthony Sardina said. “‘The Godfather’ was what made me want to be a mobology major, so it being right here on my campus is the best thing to happen, like ever. And how cool is it that we all get to be extras?”

Some students are not as happy about the news, though.

According to junior peace studies major Angela Smith, having such a violent movie being shot on campus will not only encourage students to lie, cheat, steal and kill, but it will also be a major disruption to campus life.

“I can’t believe it,” Smith said. “‘The Godfather’ franchise is not PG enough to be on this campus. Am I going to have a horse head on my dorm bed so that Coppola can get a good scene? Will there be random gunfire in the library as I’m trying to study?”

The College assures that the

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Coppola plans to use the two lakes as a dumping zone for the movie’s dead bodies. production will not substantially interfere with College life. In a statement to the community, College officials said the Student Center will still be open on weekends from 1 p.m. until 3 p.m. while lots 1 through 13 will be closed until further

notice. Additionally, all upperclass housing will be used as the actors’ dressing rooms, making housing even more difficult for students to obtain than it already is. Other than these minor changes, everything will remain normal.

“I’m excited to get this show on the road,” Coppola said. “And let’s keep this just between the College and me, but I plan on asking Chris Christie to play the Godfather. I think his attitude can outdo Marlon Brando’s performance any day.”

Breaking news, blogs, and more at TCNJSignal.net.

Vol. XXXX, No. 10

April 2, 2014

Serving The College of New Jersey community since 1885

Library’s function Muha takes College by storm not an open book

By Courtney Wirths Opinions Editor

As one walks up to the College’s library on a weeknight, the impressive fivestory building glows warmly through its many windows and just slightly illuminates its redbrick exterior. Inside, the first floor hums with group projects, whispering study partners and the coffee makers in the café. The scene is straight out of Hollywood or a college brochure. Though something is missing from the classic tables and desks: books.

The library is home to just under 600,000 books, not including periodicals, according to the library’s website. Books in the collection, according to the site, have been “selected by faculty and subject specialist librarians to support course offerings of the College and to provide a broad representative collection of titles across many disciplines. This growing collection includes fiction, non-fiction, and children’s/ youth books.”

On average, approximately 134 of these books are checked

out each day, which translates to about only 0.02 percent of the library’s collection being checked out daily, according to 2012-2013 data on total library checkouts. The infrequency of books being checked out begs the question: What is the primary purpose of the College’s library for students?

Lifting up a large red book from a table in the library café, junior psychology major Dan Czarnowski laughed, explaining that it was coincidentally the first library book he has ever used.

“I technically haven’t even checked it out yet,” he said.

Most of the books that are checked out are for classes in some way, sophomore finance major and library assistant Scott Savage said.

“People check out a lot of books to use as research references,” Savage said. “There’s also a lot of fiction and children’s books checked out, but it’s mostly for class. From what I have seen there are not many people that check out books for pleasure reading.” see LIB page 5

Tom Kozlowski / News Editor

As the snow season clears, Muha forecasts his new agenda.

By Tom Kozlowski News Editor

David Muha’s name is infectious.

It’s been stitched to T-shirts and chanted through Twitter. The sound of Muha alone soothes students with their eyes on the weather, hopeful for

yet another snow day salvo from the man behind the emails, the name that cancels class.

On Tuesday, Oct. 1, 2013, Muha stepped into the role as the College’s new vice president for Communication, Marketing and Brand Management. It’s a position

that requires more communicative clout than having a catchy name, and yet Muha has accomplished so much with even just that.

“It’s surprising that my name has caught on in the way it has,” Muha said. “My feeling was, we’re a small college talking about personal relationships and attention, and yet when we send messages, they come out from an office. Offices don’t send messages, people do. So pretty much since the first messages I was sending, I signed them.”

Then he grinned.

“I signed quite a few snow messages this year.”

Muha isn’t just channeling his own name through those messages — he’s putting a face to the identity of the College en masse. And for a transition period so evolutionary in the campus’s physical, academic and stylistic appeal, Muha has become the transparent, administrative vanguard to champion a new era, the man not only behind the emails, but at the forefront of change.

Though coming in fresh, Muha is no stranger to the state. He’s a Jersey boy raised in Piscataway. From 1983 to 1986, he attended Georgetown University, earning a bachelor’s degree in history and graduating magma cum laude. Living in the hub of national politics, Muha went on see MUHA page 2

Popping tags while raising funds Backstage, an

By Julie Kayzerman News Editor

With clothes strewn on racks and accessories placed neatly on shelves, students were able to find hidden gems amongst all of the donations that were given to the College’s first-ever on-campus thrift shop.

The “Be the Change” clothing exchange turned a cold, rainy day into a creative and interactive way for students to enjoy themselves, recycle clothes and benefit a good cause simultaneously, right on campus in the T/W lounge on Saturday, March 29.

“The purpose of this event was to teach kids that they can let go of things,” sophomore CA Jennie Sekanics said of the event, which was hosted by WILL and FYE. “(We) definitely wanted to emphasize that you can reuse things and you can recycle and that one person’s trash is a next person’s treasure.”

Students who donated clothes to the cause received tickets in exchange to use at the thrift shop to purchase other

clothes there. Others were able to sift through the clothes, shoes and accessories with prices ranging from $3 to $8, with all money going toward funds for WILL’s community service activities.

“It’s not about the money aspect and it’s not about the people who did

@tcnjsignal

By Shayna Innocenti Arts & Entertainment Editor

Celebrating their 25th anniversary season, the cast and crew of Boheme Opera N.J. bustled about the Kendall Main Stage on Sunday, March 30, getting ready for their second performance of Giuseppe Verdi’s masterpiece “La Traviata” at the College.

“La Traviata” is considered the first contemporary, adult-life-based opera and marks a milestone in opera history. The show — with Boheme’s fashion show twist and modern components like touch phones and laptops — is loosely based off of the romance between Alexander Dumas and Marie Duplessis, who died of tuberculosis in 1847.

Though it is unknown to the audience, every performance is different. This is even more evident from the view backstage.

While the audience is watching the performance, there are multiple shows evolving on either sides of the stage: set pieces move, lights travel, the conductor instructs in the orchestra pit just beyond the stage’s apron and the actors walk on and off stage as one fluid show.

see THRIFT page 3

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

WILL and FYE hope to make thrift shopping an annual event.

INDEX: Nation & World / Page 7 The Signal

untold story

it,” Sekanics said. “It’s really about (knowing) we can let go of things, but we can pick up new things, too.”

As this event was the first of its kind here on campus, FYE and WILL

Editorial / Page 9

Opinions / Page 11

Features / Page 12

see BACKSTAGE page 3 Arts & Entertainment / Page 15

Sports / Page 32

Lacrosse The team rolls on, winning eight straight.

Crowning Mr. 2016 Sophomore Sam Waxenbaum sings to victory.

Rob Delaney The “funniest man on Twitter” charms.

See Sports page 32

See Features page 13

See A&E page 15

page 2 The Signal April 2, 2014

Muha / Pushing for a greater ‘visual identity’

continued from page 1

to work as a communications representative for Republican Congressman Jim Courter, spending six years on Capitol Hill and returning to New Jersey to follow Courter’s campaign for governor in 1989. Courter may not have won, but ever-transitioning, Muha decided to make a new leap: representing institutions from the N.J. Chamber of Commerce to Rutgers Business School. To some, the move was unexpected.

“I would say my career has been a very liberal arts career,” Muha said. “I remember people asking me if I was going to be a history teacher in college, and I said that if you can think critically and write well, you can take your career in any number of directions.”

And so it went. Muha mastered his communications posts, leaving indelible marks wherever he went. For Drew University, where he served prior to the College, this meant a personal advocacy for “Full Impact Learning,” a program designed to highlight the school’s distinctive features and “make (the) case to parents and prospective students.” Occasionally, he even played drums for a faculty band, an instrumental passion on the sidelines of his career. But when Muha felt his impact was complete at Drew, a place at the College loomed on the horizon.

“I thought TCNJ looked like a great opportunity, and yet, as an outsider before I started here, you didn’t hear enough about the College,” Muha said. “There was an opportunity for communications to play a role to help with people unassociated with the College, to really get a sense of why this is a great institution, why third parties think so highly of us … I felt like it was a good match for what I had done professionally.”

On Tuesday, Oct. 1, Muha and his staff hit the ground running. Behind the scenes, Muha was involved in the testing and recent implementation of the new College seal, a bold redesign meshing elements of the past and visions of the future.

He has a litany of goals on his personal whiteboard: website redesigns and enhanced fundraising efforts. But his most important mission was unwritten. According to Muha, his job is “to establish the visual identity of the College.”

Fortunate for Muha, his backstage work was complemented by the timely volatility of Mother Nature.

“The biggest surprise of my tenure here has been the reaction to the snow messages,” Muha said.

They’ve worked effortlessly in his favor. By pinning his name to the weather closings that have given students such quasi-religious enthusiasm, Muha has successfully

Photo courtesy of the Freshman Class Council

The Freshman Class Council is selling humorous T-shirts in response to Muha’s snow day fame. built a bridge between the administration and the students.

Naturally, he remains modest.

“Really, the Provost and the VP of Administration are the ones doing all the hard work here,” Muha said regarding the process of declaring school closings. “They’re the ones getting up at four in the morning and consulting the weather forecasts, what’s happening with state government ... checking in with folks on campus and clearing the sidewalks. All that work is happening well before I get any call from Curt Heuring saying, ‘Here’s what we decided.’”

Yet, Muha’s humility will do little to quell the studentsparked cult of personality in his name. His impact echoes across campus on parody social media, of which he’s been made keenly aware.

“I have a good sense of humor — I grew up in a family with a good sense of humor,” Muha said. “So I’m aware of the Twitter account. I can laugh alongside everyone else.”

As for the Freshman Class Council’s recent fundraising efforts, which have created T-shirts declaring “I snowflake Muha,” they have a new base of support: Muha’s entire family, all of whom want to purchase Muha merchandise.

“But more importantly, I’m happy to lend my name to a fundraising effort by the freshman class,” Muha said.

“The junior class has asked me to help judge the ‘TCNJ’s Got Talent’ competition too, and wherever I can help, I’m happy to do it.”

Muha has immersed himself in the evolving narrative of the College and its students. There’s a mingling, backand-forth dialogue between himself and his new campus that’s approachably down-to-earth, easily distorting his six-month transition as years of association. Muha’s popularity has indeed become a tall tale unto itself. Not coincidentally, his favorite component of a job in communications is its interpersonal magnitude to tell great stories.

“I love the role of storytelling in my job,” Muha said.

“I think that what the students do in particular is always amazing to me. The talent that’s present here on this campus is staggering, so being there to help celebrate that is really rewarding to me … and for me to do my job, the closer the connection with students and faculty, the better.”

Now Muha, unconsciously or not, is a fundamental actor in the story of the College. Pushing for a more vibrant identity, lending his personality to student projects and laughing when the snow comes down. For all the bitterness in weather, Muha’s made this the warmest winter in quite some time.

Funding for ‘Copa Night’ Funival planning

By Sydney Shaw News Assistant

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

SFB allocates money to hold the annual ‘Take Back the Night’ and ‘LEADWeek.’

By Julie Kayzerman News Editor

The annual “Copa Night” is ready to go after receiving funding from the Student Finance Board at their weekly board meeting on Wednesday, March 26.

Union Latina was allocated $3,445 to host this event in the name of celebrating Latino Awareness throughout the campus community.

It will include a live performing band presenting traditional Latino music to allow students to experience the culture. It is scheduled to be held on Thursday, April 24.

In addition, the month of April will kick off with a series of activies that recognize leaders and highlight leadership potentional on campus after the Leadership Development Program was funded to host its annual LEADWeek.

Originally requesting a speaker for $3,510, SFB tabled the event as they felt it was too expensive.

However, LDP was able to find a cheaper motivational speaker and was funded with $2,515 over an email vote.

The activies are scheduled to be held during the week of April 7.

The final request was presented by the Women’s Center for their annual “Take Back the Night” event.

SFB fully funded the group with $2,900 to bring Crystal Leigh Endsley to campus for the event. Endsley has had a credible reputation in the field of women’s studies and has earned several honorable mentions and made other “Take the Back the Night” appearances.

It will be held on Thursday, April 17, at 6 p.m. outside of the AIMM building and will include a walk around Metzer Drive. *Even though SFB agrees to finance certain events, there is no guarantee these events will take place.

The approval only makes the funds available.

Student Government President Tyler Liberty announced at the general body meeting on Wednesday, March 26, that Funival planning is in the works.

Funival is one of the most anticipated events of the year, falling on Friday, May 2, the day following the last day of spring classes.

There will be games, rides, good music and tons of fun food vendors selling carnival favorites.

Early in the meeting, speaker Devin Dimmig introduced a new bill that affects the distribution of class council seats.

Dimmig explained that the position of Senators at Large has been eliminated, so Student Government has three extra spots available that will be put toward the sophomore, junior and senior class councils.

The bill was passed and will go into effect for the upcoming elections, so as of next year, there will be seven freshman class council seats and five per each of the other class councils.

“This makes the class council a more dynamic part of SG,” Vice President of Governmental Affairs Alex Brown said. “It provides more leadership opportunities to students who want to get involved.”

Later, Vice President of Academic Affairs Adam Bonnano talked about the new wall that is outside the Brower Student Center.

Inside a magnifying glass pained on the wall, it says “Do you have a clue about TCNJ’s academic resources?”

“It is part of the NORM campaign to increase the use of academic resources on campus,” Bonnano said. “These resources are so beneficial in so many ways. The stats on the board prove it.”

The board includes statistics from the Tutoring Center, Career Services and Counseling and Psychological Services, or CAPS. Vice President of Equity and Diversity Sadia Tahir proudly announced that the second issue of Diversity University is officially out as of Tuesday, March 25.

This issue talks about the history of the black freedom movement, Queer Inclusive Bible Study, Students for Disabilities Awareness as well as several other groups and events on campus that celebrate diversity.

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 3

Thrift / Letting go of old, picking up new

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Students were able to donate clothes and pick up new ones at the College’s thrift shop. continued from page 1 are looking to make it a legacy alongside the help from other organizations on campus.

“We have such an overwhelming support with other organizations on campus that makes our job so much easier and makes events like this so much more enjoyable and fun to do,” said Eddie Easse, a sophomore CA who planned it

alongside Sekanics.

“I think it’s something cool when you co-sponsor with different groups. You get to see everyone’s assets,” he said in response to the efforts of their co-sponsors Delta Phi Epsilon and Delta Lambda Phi, who helped in advertising and collecting clothes to make the event a success that raised over $500 in the name of community service.

“I think it really shows that a lot of people don’t realize that there are resources we can reuse and re-purpose,” Easse said. “We can really make people aware that you can reuse and you can recycle clothing and you’re doing a really great service to yourself by recycling and collecting donations for a charity.”

As students walked in and out of the secondhand boutique with bags full of new clothes, they have not only participated in an environmentally friendly act and donated to a good effort, but now have also allowed retired clothes to continue their journey with someone else, in an innovative way to re-purpose materials.

“I think what’s cool about this is that you’re buying it from other students, so everything is in style,” Sekanics said. “Everything is super cute and so much fun and usually super expensive. It just goes to show that we can all use each other and all benefit from each other.”

Backstage / Kendall Hall ‘Golden’ lessons continued from page 1

“It is like controlled chaos,” technical director of Kendall Hall Dale Simon said. “There is all of craziness going on backstage that the audience never sees.”

Even though this was the second run-through of “La Traviata” on the Kendall Main Stage, the cast and crew were still adding and taking away props and costume pieces.

Before Act I, costume designer Ann Ryan decided the runway models from Act I were going to change out of their costumes offstage, instead of in the dressing rooms — a decision that required a lot of coordinating on her part.

Ryan wanted to add the bright costumes to the clothing racks for additional color in the second act.

Simon has been working in Kendall for 15 years. And while he is responsible for coordinating shows and supervising the ACT and TMT performances, he also hires and trains the student crew workers in Kendall. A student can become a student worker by signing up for an interview through career services on campus.

According to Simon, the number of students who work the professional companies can vary.

In the case of Boheme, the company paid for two Kendall student crew-workers to assist them.

“Kendall student workers are trained generally,” Simon said. “We have a training track, and we pay for training, because obviously I don’t just throw a freshman and say, ‘Run the light board.’”

Over a series of several weeks, the students complete training sessions, so that all of them know a little bit about all the systems of Kendall. The systems include: light board programming, sound components, sound board, sound troubleshooting, shop tools and safety, carpentry, lift operation and fly rail operation.

“I try to honor their personal interests, but ultimately they have to know all of the jobs,” Simon said.

Currently, Simon has a crew of 22 student workers at Kendall Hall who each average about 15 hours a week, depending on class schedules.

It was one hour before curtain call for “La Traviata.” Racks of costumes that doubled as props lined the stage. The crew members were each going through a personal checklist. One person was checking the channels for the lights on the lighting board while another checked the mics on the sound board.

As props were pulled off and on stage, details revealed themselves: ashes in ashtrays, water colored to look like alcohol, etc. These are all little touches that accumulate and add to the overall structure of the performance.

With the script written in Italian, an English translation was projected to run across a screen, hanging at the front of the stage, just beneath the

proscenium arch.

“I like it back here,” said Lorraine Ernest, who played the lead fashion accessory designer, Violetta Valery, while checking her props for Act I. “I think I would have chosen stage managing if I hadn’t done this.”

On stage left there were chairs and tables filled with props, lining the inside of the wings, hidden from the audiences view. There were five sets of wings, which are narrow, black curtains that create entrance points for the performers, hide set pieces both on the stage and in the fly system and enclose the sides of the stage where the crew carefully works.

“Main stage is a very complex professional stage and if you don’t know what you are doing you can get hurt,” Simon said.

On stage right there was the fly system. Dark blue lights subtly make each rope of the fly system glow. Simon explained that the fly system, which lowers and raises curtains, set pieces, etc., is a counter-weight fly system consisting of 51-line sets. In the Don Evans Black Box Theater there is a fixed grid with no pulleys, limiting the design of set in the fly.

Simon said Kendall has the potential to do as many as three shows at once: an event on the main stage, an event in the black box and an event rehearsing possibly in a classroom. In total, Kendall Hall sees about 150 events a year from June to June, which is a mix of departmental, student and administration events.

The stage manager, Peter Cook, checked the fade in and out cues for the cyclorama, and accesses the amount of time it takes, adjusting accordingly.

A remote to adjust the brightness and contrast of the various projected scenic images on the psycholorama — a screen that is used to bounce off different images and colors — making sure the colors are vivid and that the blacks do not appear grey and washed out.

“Holding five for the House. The call is still in 10 minutes,” Cook said.

As curtain time approached, the wings — primarily on stage left — fill with performers, who catted idly whilst fixing their costumes and sipping water.

“We have to work but we like to have fun back here to,” Ernest said. “You have to have fun.”

Some huddled in a circle, embracing each other.

The youngest twirled, playing with her bracelets.

And a few members of the cast discussed quick changes with Ryan, and how to alter certain changing techniques.

“Mistakes often happen, they show up,” Simon said. “It is a part of live performance. So you have to have nerves of steel.”

As silence fell in the auditorium, everyone watched as the red grand drape rose, signifying the beginning of Boheme Opera N.J.’s fifth time performing “La Traviata.”

By Sydney Shaw News Assistant

If tomorrow was your last day on Earth, what would you say today?

That is the question Benjamin Rifkin, Dean of Humanities and Social Sciences, discussed in the second annual “Last Lecture” on Wednesday, March 27.

Rifkin gave his lecture with inspiration from his beloved golden retriever, Webster, who passed away last summer.

He said that he learned “the six C’s” from Webster: curiosity, communication, compassion, community, caring squared and carpe diem.

“We don’t have to understand everything, but let’s try to be curious. Marvel at the cultures of the world,” Rifkin said. “No matter what culture you are in, a smile is still a smile. A tear is still a tear.”

Webster did not understand many things during his time here on Earth, but Rifkin said that he never stopped being curious.

Rifkin went on to explain that Webster often communicated to him by howling with happiness.

“I think we need to do that too,” Rifkin said. “Howl with happiness.

Whether you’ve fallen overwhelmingly in love or you’ve made a new friend that you know you will have for life, howl with happiness!”

Rifkin compared compassion to an overflowing sink and encouraged the audience to “keep it running. Let your compassion overflow onto those around you.”

He recalled one particular example of compassion demonstrated by students from the College that brought him to tears.

When a group came to campus with a giant sign reading “WARNING TO GOD HATERS, FORNICATORS, HOMOSEXUALS,” students reacted by peacefully surrounding the group and holding up rainbow flags.

“Our students responded to anger with compassion and love,” Rifkin said.

“I wept.”

Part of Webster’s lesson to Rifkin on community came from spending countless hours with students from the College.

“I used to bring Webster to campus once in the fall and once in the spring,” Rifkin said. “Then, I started bringing him around during exam time, so students could stop by to pet him to relieve stress.”

Soon, other faculty joined in and the movement grew from a few students to a dozen dogs and over 600 students.

Finally, Webster taught Rifkin that he needs to seize each and every day as if it were his last.

“Find your inner tortoise,” Rifkin said. “Slow down. Recognize what’s unfolding right in front of you and you will find happiness.”

He ended by explaining that to his family, Webster was not a golden retriever.

“Webster didn’t like to fetch,” Rifkin said. “He wasn’t going to fulfill the ‘retriever’ part of his name because it didn’t make him happy.”

Webster was simply the Rifkin family Golden.

“Give up the thing that people expect you to do if it doesn’t make you happy,” Rifkin said.

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Rifkin calls on students to be ‘golden,’ just like his dog Webster.

page 4 The Signal April 2, 2014

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 5

Lib / Few checkouts, frequent hangouts

continued from page 1

Students who do decide to use the library to find pleasure reading may have some trouble finding a good contemporary read, however.

“Currently in my backpack, I have plays by Tom Stoppard and Salman Rushdie’s ‘The Satanic Verses,’” sophomore chemistry major Dylan Nguyen said. “You can reliably find classics, but you may have trouble finding other contemporary books unless they are relevant to a specific course.”

In contrast to the relatively low number of checkouts, the library sees an average of 3,475 students every day, according to the library’s door count, done daily by library staff.

“I usually study in the Biology Building, but I like going to the library café at 7 a.m. right when it opens — it’s quiet in the early morning and there’s coffee,” sophomore biology major Kajal Shah said.

Students at the College find their way to the library to do homework and study when it becomes distracting to do work in their rooms or if they want to be around people.

“Normally when it’s too loud in my dorm, I’ll come to study,” freshman journalism major Beth Strumpf said.

Strumpf explained that she only checks out a book from the library about once a semester and feels that most students are underutilizing the resources available to them. “(Students) can also check out markers, headphones,

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Students find the library conducive to studying, but still seem to rarely check out books.

Ethernet cables and a laptop that comes in a case with a charger and Ethernet cable,” Savage said.

These items are in addition to media items such as DVDs and music.

These unconventional loans are even less frequent than book rentals. According to library checkout data, a total of 1,828 DVDs were rented in the 2012-2013 academic year,

as well as 1,183 laptops, 1,943 Ethernet cables and 1,246 sets of headphones. This is compared to the 31,206 books checked out during the same academic year.

While many of the College’s books may stay put on their shelves, the library still plays an important role as a destination for studying, seeing friends and escaping from campus distractions.

Twitter plans music strategy ‘Secret Annex’

By Courtney Wirths Opinions Editor • Regulators are demanding changes in the agriculture industry. The Obama administration called for regulatory agencies to increase limitations on methane emissions. The agriculture industry accounts for 36 percent of all methane released. In a separate movement, the FDA has asked for a reduction in the use of powerful antibiotics for farm animals. The movement’s purpose is to hinder the growth of dangerous antibiotic-resistant bacteria in livestock such as pigs and cattle.

• While revenue from box-office sales rose again this year, the number of tickets purchased is shrinking. The increase in sales is due solely to higher ticket prices. Theater owners, in collaboration with movie chains and studios, have an experimental plan to increase theater traffic with discounted tickets on a specific day of the week. The discount would be greater than the typical matinee discount and would be offered all day long.

• Though ticket prices are high, Paramount Picture’s “Noah” had no trouble pulling in viewers this past weekend. The dramatic retelling of the classic Genesis story grossed $44 million, beating out initial estimates.

The film has received attention for its unconventional take on the biblical tale. Due to certain liberties taken by director Darren Aronofsky, there has been continued discomfort within the religious community and lead to a lack of support from conservative groups.

• It’s been a week since Twitter pulled its less than successful music app from Apple’s App Store. Now, the socialmedia giant is bringing out a new music strategy. The company now plans to partner with music services such as SoundCloud and Beats Music to create a streaming element, while Twitter is also in talks with Billboard to create charts that report the most-talkedabout tracks and artists on Twitter at the moment.

All information from the Wall Street Journal.

College and community connect

Google Satellite

The College opens a satellite office in Trenton.

By Regina Yorkgitis Web Editor

In an effort to enhance community engaged learning and give students a desired taste of urban life, the College has opened Trenton Works, a satellite office in downtown Trenton.

“I’ve really been amazed at the interest that we’ve had,” said Madeline Bell, policy and public relations coordinator for the Bonner Center. She is “very impressed that TCNJ is coming back into the community.”

The Trenton Works building is situated on the two floors above the Dunkin Donuts at the intersection of State Street and Broad Street, about 10 minutes away from campus. According to a March 28 article published in The Times of Trenton, the College partnered with the Trenton Downtown Association to find and lease the site.

Through Trenton Works, students, regardless of major,

will have the chance to work with faculty and participate in various programs.

“It will open up the opportunity for students both in the Bonner program and outside to connect with the community,” Bell said.

Projects that have already taken place at the satellite include film screenings, guest speakers, citizenship assistance for immigrants and student entrepreneur programs.

“We really envision it also being a meeting spot for students,” Bell said.

The second floor of Trenton Works has desk spaces and a conference room, which can be converted into a classroom if the need arises. The building also has a new multimedia design lab. But the couches on the third floor have “a kind of coffeehouse lounge setup,” which can serve as a welcoming rendezvous point for students, Bell said.

Rajashekar Manimaran, a sophomore interdisciplinary business major and a Bonner scholar, said that the Bonner program hopes the College’s efforts, through its new downtown setting, will help restore the capital to its former beauty.

“Having an office downtown not only shows that TCNJ is committed to Trenton’s transformation, but it is also an opportunity with endless possibilities because we are now at the center of rebuilding our capital city,” he said.

Trenton is a city burdened with political scandal, crime and poverty. But Manimaran believes the College community can make a difference.

“There are crime issues, a recently convicted mayor and more abandoned buildings than anyone can account for,” he said. “But in reality, the closest synonym to Trenton is and should be: potential.”

By Adam Braun Correspondent The virtual musuem of Anne Frank’s “Secret Online Annex” was explored by Alison Landsberg, associate professor of history and art history at George Mason University, in the Business Lounge on Thursday, March 27.

“Virtual museums create the conditions for historical thinking,” said Erika Schultes, a senior English major who assisted Lisa Ortiz-Vilarelle of the English Department in bringing Landsberg to campus.

Landsberg opened her presentation with some comments about the nature of history and physical museums.

She suggested that “any representation of the past that hopes to promote historical thinking must continually assert its own constructedness.”

Physical museums and heritage sites, she said, can lure the viewer into believing he or she has a complete understanding of the historical situation they represent, which cannot be attained.

In any historical representations, “even with ample sources, what’s left is partial,” Landsberg said.

Hence, Landsberg put forward that virtual museums are an excellent way for historical learning to take place.

Use of virtual museums “produces its own distinct kind of knowledge,” she said.

Virtual museums undercut the pervasive sense of the viewer’s presence in the past, and that is a positive, according to Landsberg. They also bring their own unique positives to historical learning.

“The problem with (physical museum objects) is they are dumb,” Landsberg said. “They don’t speak.”

Such problems are avoided in virtual museums.

To prove this point, Landsberg provided examples from Anne Frank’s Secret Annex Online, found at annefrank. org/en/Subsites/Home/.

As soon as the webpage opens, the viewer is greeted by a video explaining how the Frank family ended up in hiding in the secret annex in the Netherlands. This immediate rush of informative content could not be found in a physical museum, Landsberg said.

The site’s main attraction is a 3-dimensional recreation of the secret annex that the Frank family hid in alongside the van Pels. The content and style of this feature represent the positives of the virtual museum, according to Landsberg.

When the viewer enters a room in the virtual annex, they first see it empty, as the rooms remain in the present, at the wishes of Otto Frank. Then furnishings are added into the picture, giving a representation of how they looked while the Frank family was in hiding there.

Landsberg says this is a perfect way to remind viewers that they are detached from what they are seeing, while still providing excellent historical information.

She complimented the resource, saying it is “more like an encounter than a simple pointing and clicking on objects.”

Landsberg concluded her remarks on the Secret Annex Online and virtual museums as a whole by saying that they are not totally immersive, “but that is a good thing.”

page 6 The Signal April 2, 2014

SolarKick Eric Blow Luke Capritti Gregory Fitzgerald Steven Leming

TCNJBudget

Barber By Touch Ashwin Tatikola Peter Okoh Karthik Sunkesula

Alexander Pacione, Chad Berman, Steven Schrum & Howard Telson

3 Teams

1st Place: $16,500. 2nd Place: $9,000. 3rd Place: $4,500.

http://business.pages.tcnj.edu

Finale: April 9, 5:00 pm Science Complex, Room P101 Spectators welcome!

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 7

Nation & W rld

Tensions fire up between North and South Korea

AP Photo

In response to North Koreans launching fire into South Korean waters, South Korea retaliates.

By Mike Herold Fantasy Sports Editor

North and South Korea exchanged artillery shell barrages aimed at water in each other’s territories on

Monday, March 31, according to CNN. This event, which appears to have occurred during a training exercise, came just one day after North Korea raised the possibility of further nuclear testing.

The story originally comes from South Korean semiofficial news agency Yonhap, which reported that North Korea had originally warned South Korean officials about the training exercise. According to the report from CNN, the warning came via fax message earlier in the day on Monday.

“North Korea demanded South Korea control its vessels in seven regions north of the NLL before it holds the live-fire drills,” the South Korean Joint Chiefs of Staff told Yonhap. “We have banned vessels from entering the training zone for the safety of residents and sailors.”

According to the report on Yonhap, South Korean officials did not view the warning as a positive.

“We consider that the North’s announcement contains hostile intentions,” Army Col. Wi Wong-seop, the vice defense ministry spokesman, said in a briefing according to Yonhap. “(North Korea) is believed to be creating a crisis situation on the Korean Peninsula by raising tensions near

the western maritime border.”

According to CNN, the Joint Chiefs also told Yonhap that the exchange happened after approximately 100 out of 500 artillery shells North Korea launched fell into water that was south of the Northern Limit Line in the Yellow Sea, which prompted the South to fire 300 artillery shells into North Korean waters. According to the report, South Korea also responded by dispatching fighter jets to the area.

“Some (North Korean) artillery fire landed in (the) southern part of Northern Limit Line but in the water,” a South Korean Ministry of Defense spokesman told CNN. “We counter-fired over the Northern Limit Line.”

The South was also quick to confirm that they did not have hostile intentions. According to CNN, when asked about the counter-fire the defense spokesman said, “We are not shooting at North Korea, just shooting into the sea.”

As of Monday evening, North Korea had yet to retaliate or make a statement about the event, but according to the CNN report North Korea had continued its offshore firing after a brief interlude.

Americans worry over healthcare application mishaps WASHINGTON (AP) — In a flood of lastminute sign-ups, hundreds of thousands of Americans rushed to apply for health insurance Monday, but deadline day for President Barack Obama’s overhaul brought long, frustrating waits and a new spate of website ills.

“This is like trying to find a parking spot at Wal-Mart on Dec. 23,” said Jason Stevenson, working with a Utah nonprofit group helping people enroll.

At times, more than 125,000 people were simultaneously using HealthCare. gov, straining it beyond its capacity. For long stretches Monday, applicants were shuttled to a virtual waiting room where they could leave an email address and be contacted later.

Officials said the site had not crashed but was experiencing very heavy volume. The website, which was receiving 1.5 million visitors a day last week, had recorded about

1.6 million through 2 p.m. EDT. Supporters of the health care law fanned out across the country in a final dash to sign up uninsured Americans. People not signed up for health insurance by the deadline, either through their jobs or on their own, were subject to being fined by the IRS, and that threat was helping drive the final dash.

The administration announced last week that people still in line by midnight would get extra time to enroll.

The website stumbled early in the day — out of service for nearly four hours as technicians patched a software bug. Another hiccup in early afternoon temporarily kept new applicants from signing up, and then things slowed further. Overwhelmed by computer problems when launched last fall, the system has been working much better in recent months, but independent testers say it still runs slowly.

At Chicago’s Norwegian American

Obscure & Offbeat

AP Photo

A 26-foot-tall statue of Marilyn Monroe in Palm Springs, Calif.

Man delivers baby of dead porcupine

A man cut open a dead porcupine on the side of a road in Libson, Maine, in search of a valuable mineral. Instead, he found a baby and delivered it by a C-section.

A giant goodbye to Monroe’s statue

Over 1,000 California residents threw a sendoff party for an enormous statue of Marilyn Monroe that will be shipped to New Jersey for an exhibit.

Information from AP

AP Photo

Uninsured Americans line up single-file at the Alamodome to wait for their opportunity to sign up for healthcare coverage.

Hospital, people began lining up shortly after 7 a.m. to get help signing up for subsidized private health insurance.

Lucy Martinez, an unemployed single mother of two boys, said she’d previously tried to enroll at a clinic in another part of the

Around the World:

city but there was always a problem. She’d wait and wait and they wouldn’t call her name, or they would ask her for paperwork that she was told earlier she didn’t need, she said. Her diabetic mother would start sweating so they’d have to leave.

Israel

Kerry goes to Israel to rescue talks TEL AVIV, Israel (AP) — U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry rushed to the Middle East on Monday for a surprise visit aimed at rescuing his Mideast diplomatic efforts, as peace talks approached a critical make-or-break point.

Kerry landed in Israel late Monday before heading to Jerusalem for talks with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, and then to the West Bank town of Ramallah to meet the Palestinian president, Mahmoud Abbas.

Kerry has been working frantically in recent days trying to salvage the embattled peace process. A senior U.S. official said Kerry spoke with Israeli and Palestinian leaders all morning from Paris, as well as with the White House, before deciding to go back to the region.

The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the matter with the media.

American mediators have been holding urgent talks to resolve a standoff over a promised Israeli prisoner release, and to find a formula to extend the talks beyond a current late-April deadline. If the prisoner release, which was scheduled to happen by the end of March, does not take place, the negotiations risk col-

AP Photo

US Secretary of State John Kerry travels to Israel in an attempt to prevent peace negotiations with the country from faltering. lapse in the coming weeks.

The Palestinian leadership set a meeting to discuss developments Monday evening in the West Bank city of Ramallah. There was no immediate comment from the office of Israel’s prime minister.

Under heavy pressure from Kerry, Israel and the Palestinians agreed last July to hold nine months of peace talks, setting a late-April deadline for a final agreement. When that became unrealistic, Kerry scaled back his goals and said he would aim for a preliminary

“framework” agreement by April, with the goal of continuing negotiations through the end of the year to iron out the final details of a deal.

But even that more modest goal has run into trouble due to a snag over the prisoner release. When the talks began last summer, Israel promised to free 104 long-serving Palestinian prisoners in four stages. After carrying out the first three releases, Israel has balked at releasing the final group without a Palestinian commitment to extend talks.

page 8 The Signal April 2, 2014

TCNJ’s Largest Student Run Cultural Show

$5 For TCNJ Students $10 for Non-TCNJ Students Tickets on Sale at Box Office

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Mystique 2014: Dream Disrupted

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April 2, 2014 The Signal page 9

Editorial The value of a day for fools April Fool’s Day has always been one of those kind-of holidays that only some people celebrate. The day isn’t really based on anything meaningful, doesn’t signify anything significant and hasn’t exactly been thought about when selecting national days off from work and school. April Fool’s Day, some might tell you, is exactly what the name implies: a day for fools.

Only April Fool’s Day is much more than that.

See, here’s the thing: Life is difficult. It can get tough sometimes, there’s just no denying that. It can be especially dreary AP Photo during the winter months, when people are stuck inside most Students should try to have some fun with April Fool’s Day. of the time and can’t really do as much to let loose and blow off steam — a crucial part of staying sane when life gets crazy.

That’s why I think April Fool’s Day really started. People were so happy that spring had finally sprung, and had so much pent-up crazy from the long winter months, that somewhere along the line, someone decided to pull a prank on their friend or relative. Everyone got such a kick out of it that the trend spread, and soon a new day of celebration was born. Sure, it tcnjsignal.net was a day to celebrate goofiness more than anything else, but any day of celebrating is better than an ordinary day.

Email: signal@tcnj.edu Mailing Address: “I am so proud That’s also why I think taking part in April Fool’s Day is Telephone: such a good thing to do, especially for us college kids. Pulling of my teammates Production Room The Signal a prank, especially a harmless one, is a great way to decom(609) 771-2424 c/o Brower Student Center and the way we press and take it easy. It’s hard to worry about having papers Business Office The College of New Jersey due or tests to study for when you’re watching the fruits of (609) 771-2499 have maintained P.O. Box 7718 your pranktastic labor, you’ll be too busy laughing. It’s also Ad Email: Ewing, NJ 08628-0718 our winning a great way to suggest to the weather that it is indeed spring signalad@tcnj.edu now, so it can stop being all cold and wintery any time now. streak. I think the So take a minute to just goof off and have some fun. Tie a friend’s shoes together, stick a stapler in a bowl of jello, fill Editorial Staff Mylin Batipps biggest reason a hallway with water cups. I myself am planning to fill my Nation & World Editor why we have roommates’ shoes with toilet paper and move their bags of Amy Reynolds batippm1@tcnj.edu cereal to different boxes, which I’m sure they’ll think is much Editor-in-Chief Mike Herold been able to play funnier when they see it in print. reynola1@tcnj.edu Fantasy Sports Editor like this is because Most importantly, remember that college is the last time in Chris Molicki heroldm1@tcnj.edu your life when you are expected to be silly and goofy. Take it Managing Editor Jonathan Edmondson we have brought from a guy who’s time here is coming to an end, you’re going molickc1@tcnj.edu Review Editor to miss those expectations.

Julie Kayzerman edmondj5@tcnj.edu everything we April Fool’s Day might not be a real holiday, but it also Tom Kozlowski Regina Yorkigitis have learned in isn’t really for fools. It’s a day for everyone who wants to have News Editors Web Editor a little fun, and to take a moment to enjoy the goofy parts of kayzerj1@tcnj.edu Jess Ganga practice each day life. kozlowt1@tcnj.edu Web Assistant

Quotes of the Week

— Mike Herold, Fantasy Sports Editor

Editorial Content Unsigned editorial opinions are those of the Editorial Board, which consists of the Editor-in-Chief, the Managing, News, Features, Arts & Entertainment, Opinions, Photo and Sports editors and the Business Manager, unless otherwise noted.

Opinions expressed in signed editorials and letters to the editor are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Signal.

Peter Fiorilla Sports Editor fiorilp1@tcnj.edu Shayna Innocenti Arts & Entertainment Editor innoces1@tcnj.edu Colleen Murphy Features Editor murphc16@tcnj.edu Courtney Wirths Opinions Editor wirthsc1@tcnj.edu Courtney Wirths Photo Editor wirthsc1@tcnj.edu

Gabrielle Beacken Sydney Shaw News Assistants Andrew Grossman Sports Assistant Production Manager

Emilie Lounsberry Adviser Lucas Haber Business/Ad Manager

and applied it to our games.”

— senior lacrosse attacker Jen Garavente.

“I signed quite a few snow messages this year.”

— vice president for Communication, Marketing and Brand Management David Muha.

page 10 The Signal April 2, 2014

The College of New Jersey The Department of World Languages and Cultures The Center for Global Engagement The International Film Festival Present

The Grandmaster (一代宗師)

Monday April 7 5:30 PM Library Auditorium

The Grandmaster is a 2013 spectacular Chinese martial-arts epic film inspired by Bruce Lee’s mentor, the life and times of the legendary kung fu master Ip Man. This Oscar-nominated film was directed by the internationally acclaimed filmmaker Kar-Wai Wong.

Post-Screening Q & A from Professor Jiayan Mi (WLC) Light Refreshments will be served

r

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 11

Opinions

Americans have high expectations for leaders Politicians motivated by ‘something human’

By Mike Herold Fantasy Sports Editor Politics suck. Yeah, I’ll say that up front — they are messy, oftentimes brutal conflicts between conflicting viewpoints and goals, where neither side wants to concede an inch, and everyone is out to get what they want, never minding the damage it might cause to anyone else. The work of politics doesn’t revolve around the issues so much as it does around making the right people feel the right thing at the right time to move up, bit by bit, until something astronomical is achieved, most likely power at the expense of those who helped get there. It’s something that has sunk into most parts of our culture, as most people hoping to move up in life at some point have to play their hands at politics.

It stands to reason, therefore, that the people who willingly decide to enter into such a field of lies and deception must be as terrible as the game they play. I mean, they must be deserving of all the vitriol they face on a daily basis, either in person or on TV. And don’t even get me started on the amount of insane hatred the Internet feels for politicians. For all of that, people in politics simply have to be awful, don’t they?

No. No, politicians are not the evil, soulless beings they are made out to be.

They do not deserve the hatred that spews in their general direction seemingly all the

AP Photo

Politicians are not as heartless and selfish as they are often made out to be, they are mistake-making humans just like all Americans. time, and are certainly not the monsters the general public appears to believe them to be.

In fact, in a shocking turn of events, politicians are people, just like the rest of us.

And you know what that means? It means they aren’t perfect, just like the

rest of us, even if we non-politicians want them to be perfect. It means that a politician brings to the table every quality that makes us all human — the flaws, the imperfections and, yes, the feelings. It also means that at some point, every politician made a decision, a very human decision,

to try to do something about an issue he or she cared about.

Because when you think about it, going into politics is very rarely a selfish decision. The modern political hopeful is entering into a world where every imperfection in his or her life will soon be brought to light, every poor decision and skeleton in the closet scrutinized by everyone else in the least personal way possible. Anything that goes wrong will immediately be that politician’s fault, and anything that goes right will definitely be in spite of his or her efforts — or, at least, that’s what anyone in the opposing party will think and say as loudly as they are able.

Does that really sound like something you’d like to do?

Yet politicians, facing all of this, not to mention the financial hit many of them end up taking, still decide to go into politics. They don’t do it for power, at least not all of them. They do it because of something human — they see something they think is wrong and want to be in a position to fix it.

Look, I’m not saying that all politicians are wonderful people — clearly that isn’t the case — but neither are they all terrible. I’m just saying that perhaps we shouldn’t judge them so harshly, or react so gleefully when they fall. We shouldn’t expect them to be perfect, because, when it gets right down to it, they’re people.

Ask anyone — people aren’t perfect.

A letter to men: It’s okay to step out of the mold

By Maria Mostyka

Guys, where are you? You — the vulnerable, the insecure and the emotional? I know you are out there, struggling alone with your insecurities and problems.

Why is it so difficult for you to open up, admit you have not figured it all out, admit you don’t have the answers you should have by now? Having asked these questions, I realize my answers are biased, and I might be wrong because they are from a woman’s perspective. But still, I will try to find the missing pieces of this “communication-gender-feelings” puzzle.

Why guys do not reach out and tell their stories? Well, they’re not expected to. Research by James Mahalik, a professor of psychology at Boston University, showed that in order for men to conform to the male norms in America, they must always show emotional control, put their work first, pursue status and engage in violence. The men’s greatest fear is the fear of being perceived weak. OK, the obvious reason for the lack of communication of emotions is social expectations. Society has become a go-to scapegoat of any kind of problem, yet blaming it does not solve these problems. Even though gender norms are shaped by our society, society is not an abstract entity that is somehow distinct from us and which we can easily designate as a culprit all the while forgetting that it is we — both men and women — who make up this society.

Research by Brene Brown, a renowned expert on shame and vulnerability, provides a striking insight on the unwillingness of men to open up. One of the men she interviewed

said it is not the guys who are hard on him. It is the women in his life — his wife and daughters — who are harder on him than anyone else. They would rather see him die on top of a white horse than see him falling. The interviewee succinctly concluded, “When we reach out and are vulnerable, we get the shit beat out of us.”

Yes, women too contribute to this problem as much as society. Women set up intimidating goals and don’t help men to reach them. First, women want a man who is vulnerable and strong — who can admit he is scared, but who can hold it together in difficult times and who can show insecurities and dashingly overcome them. It’s not impossible to simultaneously embody these qualities, but unfortunately, both men and women believe that to open up is to be weak.

Secondly, men’s idea of sharing can veer to the extreme. To open up does not mean to engage in “emotional vomiting” — it’s not about pouring out everything pent up since you where in fifth grade. And here’s the third problem: when the emotional gates do open, women are not prepared for what comes out. We are not. Our unpreparedness to deal with it shuts men down, resulting in miscommunication, frustration and distance.

In calling for guys, I am also calling for women to be ready to meet insecure, vulnerable and fearful men. The missing pieces of the puzzle fall into places when both men and women treat openness not as a sign of weakness, but as a sign of courage. The word “courage” itself is derived from the old French corage — “heart, innermost feelings.” Sharing struggles and overcoming insecurities is a process that takes patience, time and the two of you.

Men, tell your girlfriends what really worries you. Women, be comfortable with not knowing what to say. Successful communication is not only about listening, but also about tactful silence. In the end, it is up to us to redefine social norms, so what we can expect from each other is what we really want to do.

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Society often forces men to conform to a set mold of masculinity.

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page 12 The Signal April 2, 2014

Features

A film festival by, for and about women

By Gabrielle Beacken News Assistant

Not “The Good Seventies,” not even “The Great Seventies,” but rather “The Fabulous Seventies” — a seven-woman basketball team that has competed in several national championships for over 19 years — had their journey, which has been rewarding but difficult at the same time, featured at this year’s Lunafest. The short-film festival by, for and about women was held at the College on Friday, March 28.

With seven 70-somethingyear-old women competing in the physical sport of competitive basketball, there are bound to be a few obstacles.

These seven inspirational women were featured in the first short-film documentary of the night, “Granny’s Got Game.”

“I miss the camaraderie, I love seeing my friends,” said “The Fabulous Seventies” team player who was forced to watch from the sideline due to the negative effects of her Polio diagnosis as a child. “It’s been the highlight of my life.”

Several organizations on campus helped make the night a success.

“You are sustaining and advancing your community,” said R. Barbara Gitenstein, president of the College, introducing the night’s event. “I’m proud of the students, faculty and staff doing

a wonderful job ensuring your wonderful work continues.”

One hundred percent of the proceeds go to the Lunafest’s 2014 local beneficiary, Sage Girl, a nonprofit organization that provides girls and women with positive programs in the local community.

Out of every dollar raised through Lunafest, 15 percent goes to the Breast Cancer Fund.

Lunafest’s values of celebration, connection and community have reached over 150 cities, according to the Lunafest trailer in the inception of the night. All of the nine films of the night highlight the struggles women face and the strength women build overcoming their obstacles.

“We are thrilled to be a part of this project,” Gitenstein said. “It brings light to issues in this community that affect women.”

Proceeding “Granny’s Got Game” came a Netherlands documentary, “Flying Anne,” depicting the life of 11-yearold Anne, diagnosed with the brain disorder Tourette’s syndrome. Though Anne struggles to fight her impulses of twirling, licking and blinking, she gathers the courage to present a project to her class, explaining her tics and compulsions.

“If I had the choice, I wouldn’t get rid of Tourette’s because I would stop being me,” Anne said.

“Sidewalk,” an animated short film, illustrated the changing body of a woman and the

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

The ‘Fabulous Seventies’ circle-up before a game.

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

The festival sold out quickly and showed the stories of different girls and women. confusion and frustration that accompanies the adjustment.

This film in particular, having several funny moments, received many laughs from the audience. The protagonist of the story ultimately finds happiness and peace as she aids a young girl with the journey of her own physical maturation.

A fictional film depicting a young girl’s first co-ed wrestling match, “First Match,” taught the audience the lesson of self-confidence and self-encouragement in unequal-gender environments, such as sports.

“I’m interested in short films,” sophomore communication studies major Gail Schulman said. “I like how athletics are involved — it’s very cool.”

A dominantly black and white sketched short film, “Sound Shadows,” was next.

“Maria of Many” demonstrated the life of Mexican immigrant Maria, a devoted mother, activist and domestic worker.

“I don’t want (my daughter) to be like me,” Maria said. “I want her to be better than me.”

Maria’s commitment to her domestic and activism work is to ensure a better future for her daughter.

In the Athens-located short film “Running Dry,” the protagonist begins with constantly switching the radio that essentially states

the economic ruin Greece is in.

The short film soon switches to a classic black and white silent film, showing the protagonist spare her last dollars to help the members of her community.

The short film finally reverses back to color and sound as she soaks in herself in an in-ground fountain, with the children of Athens playing and splashing beside her.

“Date With Fate” initially begins with a middle-aged man and woman separately filming an online profile for a “matchmaker” type of website. To their extreme displeasure, they are matched on a blind date with one another and speak for the first time in years. The funny banter between the exes had the audience in a comical uproar.

“People say magic happens everywhere, but it has to start somewhere,” said Sam, the protagonist of the last short film “Tiny, Miny, Magic.”

Sam and the mailman begin exchanging small gifts through her mailbox and a romantic relationship seems to blossom.

At the end it is revealed that the mailman in fact likes Sam’s male roommate. Sam tells her roommate about the mailman’s admiration and smiles as he decides to give the relationship a try.

In addition to the nine short films offered through Lunafest,

artwork was on display courtesy of the National Art Honor Society at Maple Shade High School and 2008 College alum Jen Braverman.

An additional short film, “The Bechdel Test,” created by sophomore communication studies and interactive multimedia double major Folake Ayiloge, was also shown.

The film portrayed the difficulty of passing the Bechdel Test: at least two women on screen talking about something other than men.

As the girls solved their difficulties by writing a script without the discussion of men, the girls tell the audience, “Be conscious of the test, does it (the movie) pass? Next time you are watching a movie, think.”

“There is so much information in such short films,” sophomore communication studies major Becky Corn said. “I really like how it’s just for women. It’s a good cause.”

Women leadership, independence and confidence were certainly prevalent themes of the night.

“We don’t like to lose to anybody, any reason, any time, anywhere,” a “The Fabulous Seventies” team player said. “You got to defend yourself if you don’t somebody else is gonna push you around.”

“If something happens to one,” another “The Fabulous Seventies” player said, “it happens to us all.”

Chris Martin: trouble in para-, para-, paradise

Joan Rivers opened her mouth again

By Johnanthony Alaimo Columnist

Oh, Goop. At least, I think that’s what Gwyneth Paltrow said as she sighed over a slice of vegan pizza. Paltrow and Coldplay front man Chris Martin are calling it quits on their marriage. The couple have been married for 10 years and had two children, the infamous Apple and Moses. Gwyn posted the news on her website, goop.com, which sounds like a site that would host 2Girls1Cup. I have never been a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow but divorce is never fun, especially for the kids. Unless Gwyneth marries Robert Downey, Jr. Then everyone wins.

Zac Efron is losing, though to homeless people?

Apparently he and his bodyguard got into an altercation with a group of men when his car ran out of gas in L.A. First off, Zac, why you runnin’ on empty? You’re not Corbin Bleu. Fill that tank up and treat yo self!

Honestly, these “homeless” people sound a lot like Vanessa Hudgens and the rest of the High School Musical crew. So beware, if you’re in Cali, Vanessa will fuck you up. She is roaming up and down Santa Monica and she is thirsty for blood and selfies.

Joan Rivers slammed Lena Dunham, star of the HBO show “Girls” for being fat and naked a lot. While it is true Lena does tend to be in the nude for a good portion of the show, Joan Rivers definitely has no right to criticize the way somebody looks. Has she looked in the mirror lately? She looks like a Power Rangers villain.

She has had more work done on her face than a street with

potholes. So, Joan, before you go out and attack someone, make sure you’re not looking like Skeletor.

AP Photo

Chris is no longer the apple of Gwyneth’s eye.

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 13

Presenting the most talented male of 2016

By Kelly Corbett Staff Writer

After a night filled with laughs, competition and, of course, talent, Alpha Epsilon Pi’s Sam Waxenbaum, a political science major, became royalty, when on Wednesday, March 26, the sophomore class council officially crowned Mr. 2016 in room 202 of the Brower Student Center.

But before Waxenbaum accepted his crown, he competed against nine other of his sophomore peers for the noble title.

The night commenced with the talent portion, in which each contestant performed a talent of their choice for the audience.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon’s Alex Brune kicked off the show as he strutted on stage in style, wearing a black wig and a cheetah dress. He was Cher, as he rocked out to the classic tune “Believe.”

Football’s Connor Mulholland performed a different type of talent, as he wowed the audience with his ability to catch Munchkins and Swedish Fish in his mouth.

The audience was brimming with laughter as baseball’s Evan Edelman took the stage. He treated the audience to a stand-up comedy act, which shed a light on the DMV’s point system and the

Monica Murphy / Staff Photographer

Participants and event coordinators gather around Mr. 2016.

FBI’s point system.

The laughs continued as Alpha Chi Rho’s Jordan Roe performed a dramatic reading of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe.”

Phi Alpha Delta’s Salvatore Michael also graced the audience with his performance of “Let it Go” from “Frozen.”

The soon-to-be-announced winner, Waxenbaum, belted his heart out to “She’s a Goddess.”

The talent portion concluded with Phi Kappa Tau’s Steven Cohen, as he busted a move with his partner in crime, “Kiki,” to the “Yes” dance.

Other acts of the night included club soccer’s Elbert Flores Gomez, who pulled a Miley Cyrus as he twerked across the stage, Jimmy Jaramuzchett as he played guitar and sang to everyone’s favorite song, “Story of A Girl,” and Mitch Miller, who showed some country flare as he harmonized to Luke Byran’s “Country Girl.”

Then came the question portion of the competition. Each contestant was asked a different random question to see if they were the right fit for Mr. 2016.

Some highlights include Mulholland,

who when asked what the biggest part of his body was, he answered with his heart, or Cohen, who when asked if he could have a Freaky Friday switch with a woman, he responded he would switch bodies with the Olsen twins, since he never knew which one was which on “Full House.”

Furthermore, when asked what fruit he would choose to have sex with, Michael explained that he would pick a lemon in order “to test (his) toughness.”

As the talent section wrapped up, the money was counted up to see which contestant raised the most. During the show, buckets were passed around and audience members were invited to donate to the contestant whom they thought was the best. All the proceeds would go to the charity of the contestant’s choice.

At last, there was a winner. This ACT and TMT member was awarded the crown and announced as Mr. 2016.

Waxenbaum was speechless, claiming he never expected to win Mr. 2016.

All proceeds collected for Waxenbaum will go to the Covenant House Charity.

Furthermore, now that Mr. 2016 is crowned, who will follow in his footsteps next year and become Mr. 2017? Guess we’ll just have to find out and see.

USDA cutting organic requirements in half

AP Photo

California’s farmers are having a difficult time in this drought.

By Neha Vachhani Columnist

The farming industry on the west coast is taking a serious toll with the lack of rainfall in California. As the drought continues, agricultural requirements are becoming more and more difficult to meet, and California farmers are suffering immensely. It’s no secret

Californians are very proactive about organic, freerange farming methods, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to meet FDA standards for the “organic” label. As of last month, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has begun to allow organic livestock farmers in the state of California to temporarily discard feeding standards that grant them the “organic” label. The drought has caused a significant lack of grass across the coast, which takes away the main source of organic feed for livestock. The animals are to graze for at least four months a year to be labeled as organic, but the sparse amount of grass has left farmers at a disadvantage during grazing months — which is why the USDA is officially cutting organic requirements in half.

The USDA is no longer enforcing neither a fixed amount of grazing time nor pasture intake for the livestock during the drought. The severity of the drought is monumental, and it has affected the majority of farms in the state. The new regulations are applied to 53 out of the 58 counties because they have been declared natural disaster areas due to their high lack of organic feed. The California Certified Organic Farmers (CCOF) and Marin Organic Certified Agriculture were the first to request a variance in the requirements to label their products as organic. Although this puts farmers at ease and allows them to remain on their feet

through the drought, it also forces the industry to lower standards at a significant level.

Many directors of local environmental organizations have been distraught over the variance and finally concluded that they’ll “support this variance if that’s the only alternative,” according to OCA’s Ronnie Cummuns. Although the USDA stresses that the alteration is temporary, it also stated that it is not averse to taking further action if the drought continues at its devastating rate.

A major concern for the public is that the standards for the farming industry to deem their products as organic is already so lenient, and the drought is only allowing for more wiggle room. Organic meat and produce are already overpriced and have a very narrow consumer market, so those few who actually choose to pay the extra dollar in efforts to make a healthier choice get the short end of the stick in this scenario. Grass-fed livestock, namely cows, produce milk and meat that carry higher levels of Omega-3 and Omega-6, but with the change in feed, there comes a change in health benefits. Farmers are forced to feed their animals grain they shouldn’t be eating due to a lack of a better alternative. The poor feed results in negative effects to the animals and by in large the environment and consumers, as well.

Photo project builds security through insecurities

By Colleen Murphy Features Editor

“I am not my bathing suit,” “I am not my dysfunction,” “I am not my grades,” “I am not my relationships.”

Over 70 students, faculty and staff of the College met with photographer Steve Rosenfield from Sunday, March 23, to Friday, March 28, to share their biggest insecurities with the campus as part of his nationwide project, What I Be. According to the Circle of Compassion’s Facebook event page for the project, “The purpose

of the initiative is to encourage the building of security through our insecurities, acceptance of who we are and the ability to be vulnerable as a campus community.”

Rosenfield individually met with the participants in 30- to 45minute sessions. After each discussion, Rosenfield took a picture of the person with words written on his or her face or arms reflecting their insecurity and completing the phrase “I am not my…”

Sophomore elementary education and English dual major Gabby Cruz knew about the project before it came to the College and

was very excited to sign up for it, yet understood how difficult it might be to open up to a stranger.

“At first, I was pretty nervous to talk to Steve Rosenfield,” Cruz said. “Actually, I almost backed out of the interview because I was so nervous. Personally, I have a difficult time talking about a lot of things and opening up about your insecurities isn’t exactly any easy thing to do. Despite this, as I started to open up, it became easier the more I talked. It felt like a weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. I found that although Steven Rosenfield didn’t experience what

I personally was going through, he was understanding and kind, which made the whole process a lot easier.

It also helped that the setting was kept very casual and relaxed.”

According to Cruz, the project has empowered her.

“I remember walking out of the interview feeling so relieved, like I wasn’t the only person bearing the brunt of my fears anymore,” Cruz said. “Of course, I will continue to deal with my insecurities every day, but I was comforted by the fact that someone else knew about what I’m going through. I felt really proud of myself.”

She also believes that the What I Be project had a big impact on the College community.

“In this community and on campus, I think that everyone, whether they participated or not, can use this experience to reflect on themselves and everyone around them,” Cruz said. “I really think that this can help people realize that everyone has something that they have to deal with every day, something that makes them sad or scared or uncomfortable, and spreading love and acceptance is more important than succumbing to judgement or hate.”

Call for Columnists

We are currently looking for dedicated writers to start a new column for the Features section. Contact murphc16@tcnj.edu with ideas!

page 14 The Signal April 2, 2014

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 15

Arts & Entertainment

Tweeter Rob Delaney is out of control

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Delaney’s humor utilizes physical gestures and inuendos.

By Kimberly Ilkowski Staff Writer

Rob Delaney, the 2012 Comedy Central-crowned “funniest person on Twitter” who is widely known for crossing the line on social media, fearlessly dove into taboo topics during his comedy show at the College on Tuesday, March 25, in Mayo Concert Hall.

The show opened with the allstudent comedy troupe, The Mixed Signals, who prompted audience

members to shout out words that would become the main focus of their completely improvised set.

Following their performance, Delaney flew out from back stage like a bat out of hell and immediately launched into a rant about how New Jersey isn’t all that bad, and the real dump is Long Island.

“I’m not saying this to appeal to you, I don’t care about you as individuals … I probably wouldn’t like a lot of you,” Delaney retorted.

Delaney often interacts with his

more than one million Twitter followers, which he notes as sometimes coming with a creepy cost.

“Somebody got a tattoo with like my name, which really upset me. That made me really sad and upset and I hope no one ever does that again,” Delaney said in an interview with The Signal.

The comedian often incorporated his wife and two young children into his set, as many of his jokes stem from personal anecdotes about his life.

When asked if his kids find him funny, Delaney said, “Yes, but that’s not really a good gauge because the oldest one isn’t even three yet … they’re little children, they’ll laugh at anything, they’re little happy fun people.”

Oftentimes it wasn’t what Delaney was saying on stage, rather it was how he was saying it. His comedy was emphasized by his constant physical motion, excessive use of phallic imagery and sound effects.

After divulging intimate details about one of his sexual escapades in college at NYU, Delaney had the

audience erupt in equal parts hysterics and repulsion.

The rest of the evening, Delaney tackled racism, homophobia and misogyny.

“Misogyny and sexism make me angry,” Delaney said. “When I was younger I tried them on for size, but then I saw my wife have people come out of her body and I was like ‘you’re fucking magic and I am nothing.’”

Delaney also made note of the strange homophobia featured in

beer ads.

“You don’t need to incite hate crimes in your ads,” Delaney said.

“Beer commercials should be seven seconds long. Beer. It still exists.”

Delaney is unapologetically himself and uses his blunt honesty to comment on the absurdities of our society.

Delaney will continue his antics this spring on tour and keep shooting vulgarities into the Internet. Here’s to the next million Twitter followers.

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Mixed Signals brings the laughs as the opener for Delaney.

Patterson’s novel falls short in portraying reality

By Brett Sanders Staff Writer “First Love,” James Patterson’s latest romance novel, takes the reader on a short journey across the United States, focusing on the lives of the ill-fated two characters. The story follows two teenagers, Axi and Robinson, who run away from their small town in Oregon, in which unadulterated madness pursues. There is a catch, however: (spoiler alert) the two both have cancer, Robinson’s diagnosis being way worse than Axi’s.

The book is a fast read, yet leaves a lasting remark. Divided into two parts, the reader is unaware of why the two partake on this road trip for the first half of the

book. At first, it appears that Axi just hates her life in the small town where she lives and leaves school just a few weeks before summer vacation to go on a road trip and drags Robinson, a nice boy, along with her.

When it is revealed that the two have cancer, things start to connect, and what was just an average love story turns into a tearful journey of hope and lust.

A problem with the novel, however, is that it tries to be a reflection on real-life situations. Written in first person, the reader gets a narrative from Axi on her wild adventures with Robinson. However, most of these adventures are implausible. For example, the two steal motorcycles and cars repeatedly. This is one of the many actions

in the book that make it unrealistic.

Despite this fault, “First Love” does a great job at capturing the essence of falling in love and clearly paints the picture for how the two main characters feel about one another. Although the ending is quite predictable, it still captures the reader and makes him truly appreciate the life he has.

Not only are Axi and Robinson in love, but they both are also each other’s first love, hence the title. This ensures confusion and exploration. The process of these two admitting they have unconditional feelings for one another is quite, in a word, cute.

If only life could be as simple as spending life with the one you love. Unfortunately, fate made other plans for this fictional

couple. The theme of enjoying every present moment, for tomorrow might not come, is present throughout. By the end of the novel, the reader feels thankful for the life he has, and doesn’t want to waste any more precious time not enjoying everything.

Like time, the love story developed in “First Love” is also precious. No matter how unrealistic the scenarios get, the romantic aspect of the story can make the reader forget about the failing aspects of narrative and focus on the things that actually matter. In this case, love does heal the wound.

Despite the shortcomings of the novel, “First Love” displays an intense look at the beauty of falling love while living with the horror of not knowing what tomorrow will bring.

Graffiti beautifies struggling communities

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Mural featured at The Gandhi Garden in Trenton.

By Jillian Santacroce Correspondent

When asking younger kids what they want to be when they grow up, odds are that they say a schoolteacher, a scientist, the president or a veterinarian. Then there are some children who deviate from that norm, one being the then-preadolescent Will “Kasso” Condry.

Condry, at 11 years old, realized while watching a televised battle between HEX and SLICK, two Los Angeles graffiti writers, that that’s what he wanted to strive to be.

A past student from the College and a Trenton native, Condry gave a presentation at the School of Arts and Communication’s weekly Brown Bag Series

on Friday, March 28, at the Mayo Concert Hall. He addressed what efforts he and his crew, the S.A.G.E Coalition, are doing to embellish and connect urban cities through graffiti artwork.

Every project the artists of the S.A.G.E Coalition work on conveys a special message to its observers and illustrates history.

“Art has to have a message in order for it to transcend,” Condry said.

In June 2012, for example, The Gandhi Garden, contrived from members of the S.A.G.E Coalition, assembled a public park with a garden, a mural of Gandhi and an art gallery at a then-vacant lot in a struggling neighborhood.

The message to be elicited through the project, which was also presented beside the mural, was, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Their efforts are to essentially

inspire individuals who reside in urban areas to connect adjoining communities that make up a city and to bring positive light to hustling areas.

Though the nonprofit group and work originated in Trenton, N.J., their artwork and mission has transcended to New York, Philadelphia, London and areas in Texas and Camden.

Condry and his crew are currently configuring future plans to take their operation on a trip to the west coast to further their efforts.

“It really relates to what I’m doing … It’s really interesting and really exciting,” art education major Hope Stillwell said.

When reflecting about his time at the College and what his education did to establish his foundation and help with his current work, Condry said, “The one thing that I learned that I apply today (is) … the history

of art … and that’s more or less what I try to distill in everything we do.”

Visit sagecoalitionnj.com for more information on the S.A.G.E Coalition and Will “Kasso” Condry.

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Condry reflects art history.

‘Noah’ balances biblical beliefs and action page 16 The Signal April 2, 2014

By Karl Delossantos Staff Writer

It was hard to avoid hearing about Darren Aronofsky’s epic based on the biblical story of Noah and the Ark, aptly titled “Noah.” The film has been shrouded in controversy ever since the film was announced, due to tension between Aronofsky and Paramount studios over the final cut of the film and allegations from the Christian community that the film was attempting to give a “Hollywood take” of a biblical story.

Despite the controversy, the film has proved itself to be Aronofsky at his absolute best. Between the strong sweeping visuals and thought-provoking structure, the director has created one of the most impressive biblical epics to ever hit the silver screen.

Where many other films at this scale fail,

AP Photo

Watson shines in star-studded cast.

“Noah” succeeds. The film stays with you after you leave the theater, not because of the visuals or the loud noises, but because of the questions it raises. It riles up the pain that someone feels when being called to do the right thing, although it may be difficult to stomach.

Aronofsky has taken a story with gaps in its telling and stretched it into an epic, while also fitting into a drama on the human scale.

Some of that is thanks to the phenomenal cast headed by Russell Crowe as Noah and Jennifer Connelly as his wife Naameh, who are reunited after staring together in “A Beautiful Mind.” Both do such magnificent and heartbreaking work here.

Credit must also be given to Emma Watson, Douglas Booth, Logan Lerman, Ray Winstone and Anthony Hopkins, who all turn in great performances — particularly Watson and Lerman who prove again that they are growing into two fine actors.

However, a film that is this ambitious and so tediously conceived always comes with its flaws.

Despite the gorgeous direction and effects, there is the consistent big-budget film problem of weak dialogue. There aren’t any eye-rolling lines, but it is purely functional opposed to something profound.

There is also the issue of some unnecessary action sequences that were worrisome to many before the film’s release. There is one scene early in the film where Noah fights and kills a group of men who killed an animal. He

AP Photo

Crow portrays a heartwarming Noah alongside Connelly as his wife. uses this to explain justice to his son. However, the extended action scene was extraneous for the purpose of the incident.

Then there were the small issues, like when the family used incense to put the animals to sleep, including an elephant, but weren’t affected by the incense themselves.

Past that, Aronofsky was able to fit in the overarching religious themes of sin and forgiveness, but also left room for lessons that could be taken from the non-religious. The entire arc of the film has to do with doing what is right, despite it hurting those you love and your own morality. This film makes you think and reevaluate what it means to be human, and that in the end in all bad, there

is good.

The director does this all with gorgeous visuals and magnificent cinematography. Between that and the smart editing, the film is an achievement for filmmaking.

“Noah” is nowhere near a perfect film, but for an experimental filmmaker like Darren Aronofsky, it rarely is. He has done the seemingly impossible by creating a biblical film that will satisfy the believers and those looking for a great night at the movies. Aronosfky did what he does best in telling a story that works as both an epic and a character study.

Although it may hurt, this film will make you think and that is the absolute best we can hope for from this age of film.

Princeton symphony returns to the College

By Liz Wimberg Staff Writer

The prestigious Princeton Symphony Orchestra performed at the College on Saturday, March 29, in the Mayo Concert Hall.

The show, entitled “Nights and Dreams,” included “Dances in the Dark,” a piece by Julian Grant inspired by his 1998 “Opera Heroes Don’t Dance,” Benjamin Britten’s 1943 “Serenade for Tenor, Horn and Strings, Op. 31” featuring two soloists and a poetic libretto, and finally the 1830 “Symphonie Fantastique” from Hector Berlioz.

The ensemble was under the direction of the accomplished Rossan Milanov.

Just as these pieces are arranged

and ordered in movements, so is the pre-performance ritual of a classical symphony. The audience trickled in from the rain outside to a sound almost as mesmerizing as the music itself: each artist is in his respective place on stage, but in a space entirely his own.

He worked through his most challenging sections of the program. Another tested her agility with scales.

Her neighbor recited a favorite piece to prepare himself mentally.

The cacophony is hypnotic. But soon the lights dimmed and rose again, signaling the beginning, and the principal violinist took the stage.

With a glance, she motioned to the principal oboist for a tuning note.

His b-flat held steady. Next entered the woodwinds and brass. All fell out again, save the sonorous tuner.

Enter: strings, first the high octaves from the violins and violas, then deeper cellos and deepest bassists.

Tiny adjustments, tightened strings, elongated valves and a heavy silence — Milanov approached from stage left, sober and resolute. Baton up, breathe in, downbeat.

Dances in the Dark is a wild ride: now dream, now nightmare, but motion so constant that even the near-silences kept us spinning.

In fact, no true silence occured at all: the four sections, each set to explicit dance rhythms, run without pause.

“The whole piece is a compendium of anything you might get up to after dark — a mix of the sensual, the scary, scented, drunken, wild, sated, nightmarish, overdosed,” said composer

Julian Grant, who was present for the concert.

If the idea was to introduce the dynamism of Night and Dreams, Grant’s piece was a perfect opener, though certainly a tough act to follow. Nevertheless, the performance proceeded at a constant level of excellence.

Following many applause, brass and percussion exited for Britten’s Serenade, featuring soloists Eric Ruske on French horn and Dominic Armstrong singing tenor. The concert concluded with Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique, a love story like no other.

James M. Day, professor of guitar performance, history, literature and pedagogy at the College, encouraged all his students to take advantage of the opportunity to

encounter “an ensemble of this caliber in our space.”

Reflecting on the first half of the show, Day noted how cleanly the musicians played in a setting much more intimate than their usual venues. Meticulous attention to detail and a distinct interaction with each piece enabled the PSO to “bring out the color” of the program, and to create a truly remarkable experience on our campus.

The PSO has one more performance this season at their home venue, the Richardson Auditorium on the campus of Princeton University on Sunday, May 4. Additionally, take advantage of the many events hosted by the Center for the Arts at the College during the remainder of the semester.

Rathskeller gets taken over by three rock bands

By Kimberly Ilkowski Staff Writer

Students left the Rathskeller with their ears still ringing after watching stellar performances from The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die, A Film In Color and Ex Wife on Friday, March 28.

The show kicked off with the Bergen County, N.J., ambient instrumental band, A Film In Color.

Guitarist Alex Lee, bassist Eric Scholz and drummer Josh Alberg played songs off their EP To Scale A Mountain, which was released this March.

The set started with the lights off over the stage and audio playing of muffled hospital noises. An EKG beep grew faster and faster until it flat-lined, causing the lights to go up and the band to erupt in sound.

The music gave off an eerily beautiful vibe with Lee’s heavy use of a distortion pedal and dramatic movements around the stage.

Next up was Ex Wife, a trio from New Brunswick, N.J. The band consisted of Phil Connor on his baby blue bass, Matt Harvey

on blood-red drums and Nick Bolton on vocals and black baritone guitar.

The band considers themselves to be shoegaze, a subgenre of alternative rock that uses a significant amount of guitar effects mixed in with indistinguishable vocals.

They played “Rituals,” “Sleepwalker” and “June” off of their 2013 LP New Colors and 2011 EP June.

The set featured numerous guitar solos and in one instance Bolton played so hard his glasses fell off.

The night’s headliner, The World Is A Beautiful Place, got fans out of their seats and flocking to the front of the stage.

The indie rock and emo band has nine members, including Derrick ShanholtzerDvorak, Tyler Bussey and Chris Teti on guitar and vocals, Julia Peters on cello, Steven Buttery on drums, Josh Cyr on bass, David Bello on vocals, Chris Zizzamia performing spoken-word poetry and Katie ShanholtzerDvorak on keyboard and vocals.

The members seemed to move in perfect unison on the crowded stage, each a vital part of the musical machine.

The band, hailing from Willimantic, Conn., performed the songs “Getting Soda” and “Victim Kin Seek Suit” off their 2013 album Whenever, If Ever and 2010 EP Formlessness,

both featuring a slow, melancholy sound.

They will be touring in Europe throughout April with Empire! Empire! (I Was a Lonely Estate).

Michael Cort / Staff Photographer

Indie-rock band The World is a Beautiful Place gets flocked by fans.

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 17

Jazz music brings everything but the blues

Courntey Wirths / Photo Editor

A five-part ‘Supersax’ saxophone arrangement, led by Ronald Pruitt, harmonizes beautifully and diverse movements mesmerize the audience at recital.

By Madie Xing Correspondent Seniors Ronald Pruitt and Kevin Whitman showcased their eloquent talent on Thursday, March 27, at Mayo Concert Hall as part of the spring semester’s Senior Music Recitals.

The night opened with the blues arrangement, “Blues for Alice”

by Charlie Parker, with Pruitt on baritone saxophone, which was included in the five-part “Supersax” arrangement featuring two altos and two tenors. Pruitt led the piece on the baritone with the other saxophones harmonizing effortlessly.

The drums and bass provided an easy-going bass line during Pruitt’s dense solo, whilst the piano gave

subtle highlights.

Whitman performed a timpani solo piece “Raga No.1” by William Cahn, which had a slow build up with sudden crescendos and an enchanting overlap of rhythms. The manipulation of the pitch and phrases were consistent to the Hindustani form that inspired the piece.

Pruitt returned to the stage to perform “Lilith,” which consisted of five movements, all with discordant undertones. The piece was highly expressive with abstract and airy notes. The piano provided dark, sharp accents to the edgy but subdued saxophone phrases. Pruitt was accompanied by Kathleen Shanklin on piano.

Whitman’s performance of Andy Akiho’s “Stop Speaking” had the audience intrigued. Whitman interacted the snare drum by adapting and mimicking beats with the a recording of a woman’s voice, which was characterized by uneven frequencies. Whitman displayed extreme skill and control to create a very entertaining performance.

The quartet cymbal arrangement “Double Espresso,” composed by Whitman himself, comprised of muted beats that expanded into rapid taps. A range of tools were used to create depth of sound — drumsticks, triangle beaters, fingertips and even a bass bow all created contrasting tempos and raw layers with precise dynamics.

Pruitt took on Takashi Yoshimatsu’s “Fuzzy Bird Sonata,” which featured three diverse movements of energetic and transient saxophone, layered with demure piano gestures.

The piece alluded to many bird-like sounds, which fashioned a harmonious and lyrical atmosphere.

Under a spotlight, Whitman impressed the audience with “Reflections on the Nature of Water” by Jacob Druckman. Great technical skill was matched with a fusion of tension and pulsating beats, which corresponded to water and its differing nature. The audience was left mesmerised by the incredible mood that Whitman was able to create on the marimba.

“A great program,” junior music

education major Manny Martinez said. “They both have worked so hard and put their hearts into it tonight.”

The final piece of the night saw Pruitt and Whitman collaborate with Michael Taylor’s “Gone” — the saxophone was a contrast of raspy notes with smooth, gentle and warm tones. The marimba pierced through the dominant alto saxophone at times with dreamy textures, whilst also providing that saxophone with a constant bass line to answer to.

“The performance was absolutely fantastic, versatile and a whole new level,” senior music education major Chelsea Cortese said. “They were total professionals — just amazing.”

St. Vincent captures a range of moods in album

By Tristan Laferriere Correspondent

If you happened to catch any recent episodes of Stephen Colbert’s late-night political show, “The Colbert Report,” you may have caught an interview and short performance by singer and songwriter St. Vincent. Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of her. Yes, St. Vincent is a she, and from what I’ve found after listening to her latest album, “St. Vincent,” she is without a doubt one of the music industry’s best-kept secrets.

St. Vincent has been an active musician since 2003. However, her genres of indie and baroque pop, while mainstream, haven’t received a huge amount of attention. Having said this, the singer and songwriter has a very nice treat for those of you who enjoy artists similar in sound to Arcade Fire or Death Cab for Cutie.

From the album’s first song, “Rattlesnake,”

I was immediately drawn to how her voice is quite similar to Lady Gaga’s, only at a softer pitch and a very different type of musical style to go along with it.

This alternative sound is quite different from other female artists of St. Vincent’s genre.

If you enjoy listening to music for the sole purpose of being taken to a different type of universe within the mind, this is the stuff to listen to.

Taking a drive late at night with the windows down and simply wanting to get out of this world would be a good backdrop for tracks such as “Prince Johnny” and “Every Tear Disappears.”

Something that really struck me with St. Vincent’s newest album is that each song sounds different from the others.

I’ve noticed with many current singers and bands that every other track has a similar vibe to it and the overall feeling is literally interchangeable. This is not the case with “St. Vincent.”

From the first track to the final song, I felt I was listening to a different song writer each time. This singer has a way of setting the mood for the album (in this case, a real mind trip) within the first song and casually gives you a change in feeling as each new song approaches.

Need a good background song for a party?

Simply start playing “Bring Me Your Loves.”

This track in particular felt like an ’80s dance party, but tweaked with a modernistic approach. Need a nice song to relax to? Turn up the volume for “Digital Witness.” It’s catchy and fast-paced, but not overwhelming. That’s the best way to explain this album. It simply has a song for every mood.

St. Vincent may not be on the fame line up there with Lady Gaga and Madonna, but if you take elements from both of these singers, throw in some Arcade Fire and Death Cab For Cutie, you’ve got St. Vincent, and I must say she is a real prize for those of you

who are looking for something contemporary yet different from everything else that’s out there. Pick “St. Vincent” up. You won’t be disappointed.

AP Photo

St. Vincent creates unique sounds.

Senior music recital proves to be victorious

By Tiffani Tang Correspondent

Although a drab and rainy Sunday afternoon, there was something brilliant and magical going on in Mayo Concert Hall on March 30.

Kathleen Little, a senior music major, performed her section of this semester’s Senior Music Recitals. She enchanted listeners with the flute, accompanied on the piano by Sally Livingston.

Little chose to open with “Sonata in G Major HWV 363b” by George Frideric Handel, a lovely piece split into five movements.

It started with “Adagio,” which sounded like it should be played at a royal coronation.

“Adagio” ended with a trill that

led straight into “Allegro,” a call and response between flute and piano, which ended smoothly with a ritardando.

The “Allegro” melted into the second “Adagio.” Livingston’s notes were chorded, allowing more focus on the drawn out and dramatic forte notes of Little’s part.

“Bourrée angloise,” the fourth movement, was the shortest and felt light.

The final section was “Minuetto,” which was reminiscent of the final dance at a grand ball.

There were several beautiful legatos and sharp staccatos.

The second piece played was “Rondo in D Major K. 184” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The music was a story, some parts acted as a conversation with the

audience, quick little snippets followed by rests to give the audience time to “answer.” There was also a nice juxtaposition between Livingston’s slow playing and Little’s intense trills.

Audience members began to see Little’s confidence increase and the width of her smile did.

When “Concert for Flute and Orchestra” by Carl Nielsen was played, there was a dreamy tone throughout the piece.

There was a nice piano introduction with the sustain pedal and Little’s flute skills shone in the middle when the piano took to the same repetitive low notes.

The piece ended with a “cliffhanger” ending.

After intermission, Little was reintroduced with a solo: “Syrinx for

Solo Flute” by Claude Debussy.

She nailed repeating sections loaded with subtle differences.

In her second flute solo, “Air for Solo Flute,” by Toru Takemitsu, Little didn’t miss a note and her passion for music showed as her body language reflected pitch and dynamics.

“She was good,” whispered one of the youngest audience members.

In her final piece, Little was rejoined by Livingston to perform “Fantasie” by Philippe Gaubert.

The introduction was intriguing and there was a ritardando followed by an accelerando into the second section.

The piece started off with a thoughtful tone, but ended in allegro. Even the legatos were something exciting and enticing

to listen to.

There were many trills and the fastest part was a flute solo. During the last few bars, Little ignored the sheet music and looked up at the audience, already knowing she had done a fantastic job.

Applause lasted for minutes.

People were clapping even as the stage was empty and some even gave Little a standing ovation.

The audience even got excited as they misunderstood some backstage victory playing as an encore.

“The best thing is the experience of being able to put all the hard work in action,” Little said. “It’s being able to enjoy the music.”

Little plans on continuing her education at the New York University’s graduate program for music performance.

page 18 The Signal April 2, 2014

SUMMER C O U R S E S

2 0 1 4

B SESSION: 07/07 – 08/07

MAYMESTER: 05/12 – 05/30 AAH 105 – ART HIST I: CAVES TO CATHEDRALS Mo/Tu/We/Th 9:00 AM-12:00 PM LVPA LIBERAL LEARNING AAH 106 – ART HIST II:RENAISSANCE TO REVOLUTION Mo/Tu/We/Th 1:00 PM-4:00 PM LVPA LIBERAL LEARNING

A SESSION:06/02 – 07/03 AAV 230 – PHOTOGRAPHY II Mo/Tu/We 9:00 AM-12:00 PM, 12:30 PM-2:00 PM

Looking for a summer class? See what courses the Department of Art and Art History has to offer!

AAV 255 – WEB I Mo/Tu/We 4:00 PM-5:30 PM, 6:00 PM-9:00 PM AAV 385/ IMM 250/ MUS 345ELECTRONIC MUSIC SKILLS & LITERATURE Mo/Tu/We 9:00 AM-12:00 PM, 12:30 PM-2:00 PM LVPA LIBERAL LEARNING

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 9 Cupcakes and Conversation with Faculty, plus raffle prizes!

4–5 p.m.

Education Building, Room 110

For more information or to RSVP, see www.tcnj.edu/tcnjgrad

AAV 111 – DRAWING MO/TU/WE 9:00 AM-12:00 PM, 12:30 PM-2:00 PM AAV 214 – PRINTMAKING I MO/TU/WE 4:00 PM-5:30 PM, 6:00 PM-9:00 PM LVPA LIBERAL LEARNING AAV 270 – TOPICS IN VISUAL ARTS : WATERCOLOR MO/TU/WE 9:00 AM-12:00 PM, 12:30 PM-2:00 PM AAV 314 – PRINTMAKING II MO/TU/WE 4:00 PM-5:30 PM, 6:00 PM-9:00 PM See the Summer Session Page for more information.

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April 2, 2014 The Signal page 19

Lions Fantasy World

Nothin’ But Net

I wanted to write about something silly this week. It’s April Fool’s time, after all, so I planned on discussing the absolute goofiest sports story I could find, only to be disappointed when nothing really funny happened. I then changed my plan to instead come up with a ridiculous concept that would make my editors chortle and mock me, only to find that my stockpile of nutty ideas was gone. As it turns out, even I have limits in the area of wacky column concepts.

So instead of something silly, I’m going to talk about a trend I’ve noticed in pro sports that confuses me: How leagues decide to make changes, either in rules or in how they function.

See, every few years the different professional sports leagues make a few changes here and there to their rules. They do this either to stay current and up-to-date or to make things more exciting for the fans, usually because the leagues don’t want to lose those fans.

And while a lot of people have discussed the various changes pro leagues are either making or discussing, I’m not seeing a lot of people putting the pieces together and questioning why the heck these leagues are making these changes when they do.

Here’s a primary example: Why did the NFL decide that right now it had to make changes to the point after touchdown rules? Was there some sort of massive fan outcry that most touchdowns being worth seven points was ridiculous? It’s not like the NFL has been losing any viewers recently. The league is more popular than ever and they’ve been making other changes for years that were meant to increase scoring. Do they really think making the extra point kick harder is a necessary change? Do they think that kickers are overpaid or something? The whole thing just baffles me.

Of course, that’s nothing compared to what the NBA has been doing recently. They’ve added nickname jerseys, which are cool for about 10 players with good nicknames and impossibly lame for everyone else, sleeved jerseys most of the players hate but which make little kids who wear shirts under their basketball jerseys feel marginally more like their heroes, and have proposed adding a four-point line, which might just make the Harlem Globetrotters sue somebody. Of course, none of this is because fans are leaving, since the NBA remains one of the largest-growing sports leagues in terms of popularity and value.

On the flip side of all this change, the MLB has consistently prevented changing even one iota, despite declining popularity and the sheer archaic atmosphere presented in a game with so little use of decades-old technology like instant replay.

Here’s my point with all of this: Why do pro sports leagues insist on making changes when they’ve got a good thing going? And why do struggling leagues refuse to change in order to bring fans back?

If you ask me, these leagues are making us all look like fools.

Hey, looks like I got to write an April Fool’s column after all!

By Mike Herold Fantasy Sports Editor

The Scoreboard

(3) Love Train (16-4)*

3396

(2) Off the Backboard (14-6)

3338

(4) Team Vazquez (12-8)

3403

(1) Fantasy Guys (20-0)*

3572

Team Amaral (12-8)

2637

Team Molicki (8-12)

2261

Rasheed Wallace (7-13)

1054

Team Reynolds (6-14)

1881

Team Jha (0-20)

1249

Team Matos (4-16)

1430

Owner: Gabe Allen

Owner: Bryan Dunphy-Culp

Owner: Victor Vazquez Owner: Mike Herold

Owner: Marco Amaral Owner: Chris Molicki

Owner: Pete Fiorilla

Owner: Amy Reynolds

Owner: Ashray Jha Owner: Rob Matos

*Advances to Championship Game

Fantasy Player of the Week

AP Photo

I May Be Wrong, But...

Here’s what I would do in Fantasy Basketball this week: Add: The fantasy playoff finals are here, so it’s never been more important to maximize playtime. The Rockets, Heat and Nets have the most games remaining in the final two weeks, so players on those teams are the most valuable going forward. If you need to add a player, look for someone on those teams.

Be Cautious Of: Dwight Howard. The Rockets might be playing a lot of games down the stretch, but Howard is sitting out for many of them due to injury concerns. This could easily happen to players on the other playoff contenders as well, as teams want their studs ready for the postseason. Make sure you pay attention to your roster on a daily basis, it could save you.

Drop: Well, since you’re adding players on the teams who play most, it makes sense to drop the ones playing least. The Cavs and Blazers only hit the court seven times in the next two weeks, so if you have anyone on those teams not named Kyrie Irving, Damian Lillard or LaMarcus Aldridge it probably won’t be worth your while to keep them on the roster.

Look Out For: Players going up against the tanking contenders. If you see that a player on your squad is playing against the Sixers, Bucks, Jazz or Lakers, make sure he starts, because those teams might just start handing the ball to the other teams at this point to have a better shot at a top pick.

AP Photo

page 20 The Signal April 2, 2014

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 21 Cheap Seats

Open letter to GMs: stop being so bad Cabrera latest case of bad decision-making

AP Photo

General Managers like Jerry Jones often have no idea what they’re doing.

By Mike Herold Fantasy Sports Editor General Managers. They are discussed fairly often in the sports world, which makes sense given the enormous impact a GM, good or bad, can have on a team. They also play a huge role in the happiness any given group of fans have will in regard to their favorites teams — generally, fans are happier with a team that is doing well or with one where the future looks bright, and much of the responsibility to do those things is in the hands of those GMs. Here’s why that’s a bad thing: General Managers, by and large, are not very good at their jobs.

Seriously, take a look at your

favorite team. Take a good look at the salary of every player on the team and at the ratio between youth and experience. You’ll likely find at least a few flaws, like a player earning several million dollars more than they deserve or a collection of aged “talent” without much support from younger, fresher legs. If you can honestly say you are happy with your entire roster, then congratulations, you are a fan of the Spurs, Pacers, Seahawks, 49ers, Nationals or Penguins.

If you said you were happy with your roster and aren’t a fan of one of those teams, please stop kidding yourself. Those are the only pro sports teams at the moment without at least a few glaring warts. And even they

aren’t perfect — they’re just the best examples of teams with long-standing title windows that aren’t overly reliant on aging stars or that owe oodles of money to players who one day won’t be worth so darn much.

The reason so many teams are in bad places right now is, of course, because of the blundering ways of the General Managers who run them. Don’t believe me? OK, just go ask any fan of the Cowboys, Knicks, Timberwolves or Lakers, the teams most currently doomed due to the actions of their GMs. That fan will tell you for me, having a bad GM on your team is akin to watching your best player get injured at the start of the season — your team’s situation for the

near future is bleak at best.

So why bring this up now?

Bad GMs have been around for decades, so why harp on the issue this week? Well, mostly because this week saw some ridiculous things happen in sports, and General Managers were at the heart of basically every one of them.

Look at what went on in baseball first. Miguel Cabrera, he of the magical bat and lackluster fielding ability, just signed a deal for 10 years and $292 million. Sure, the deal looks good to Tigers fans now, but just wait five years until he’s 36 and still getting paid nearly $30 million a season to perform barely above the league average.

Gee, that sounds familiar, doesn’t it? I can’t recall who’s doing something similar now, but I think it starts with an “A” and maybe includes “rod?” Even the other big extension given out this week, a much sounder $144 million over six years the Angels are shelling out for Mike Trout, is overshadowed by the monster contract L.A. is also paying to the last Cabrera-like player. Albert Pujols, who you may have forgotten since he signed the mega-deal with the Angels and immediately disappeared.

Moving along to another sport, take a gander at what the Eagles just did: Releasing DeSean Jackson due to some kind of off-field stuff, with a wide range of explanations still being given. The team, according to “sources,” didn’t want to trade Jackson’s problems to another unknowing

organization. It’s not like a whole bunch of other NFL teams tried to sign Jackson within 24 hours of his release despite all the rumors and definitely would have been willing to trade for him anyway, right? Oops, looks like that is exactly what’s been going on.

Finally, the next big star move is only in the rumor stage, and involves Kevin Love bolting from the Timberwolves for somewhere more glittery. While this one may not seem like a terrible GM decision at first, especially given how many NBA stars run from smaller markets to larger ones, let’s not forget that this one started when Love was offered a less-than-max contract from a terrible team a few years ago, because they wanted to save their max deal for a monumentally less valuable player. A word of advice to GMs out there: When you have a superstar in his prime and can offer him a maximum contract, do that. If you don’t, chances are he’ll leave your team for someone who will.

The point to all this is that General Managers are bad at their jobs, so we really shouldn’t be surprised when GMs continue to make poor decisions. We talk so much about the bad GMs, but no one really offers much of a solution, mostly because “Fire everybody” is a rarely used tactic. The only real solution for us fans is to hold out hope that someday, somehow, our bumbling General Manager will just get lucky.

Tennis

Women’s tennis stays unbeaten at home Men’s team splits narrow pair in 1-1 week

Women’s tennis improves to 6-0 at home this season as the men move to 5-3 with a win and a loss.

By Peter Fiorilla Sports Editor

The women’s tennis team stayed unbeaten at home this week with an 8-1 victory over The University of Rochester in the Recreation Center, while the men split a pair of 5-4 decisions against Christopher Newport University and Rochester.

The women (8-3) were forced to

move inside against Rochester due to rain on Sunday, March 31, but stayed the course with their sixth win of the season in as many home games.

Rochester was swept in doubles action to give the Lions a 3-0 lead, and all but one of the single sets went the College’s away, as No. 1 sophomore Jasmine Muniz-Cadorette, No. 2 freshman Katie Buchbinder, No. 3 senior Tara Criscuolo, No. 4 sophomore Emma

Allen and No. 6 junior Sarah Lippincott closed out the match for an 8-1 victory.

The men’s team (5-3) nearly went two-for-two in a dramatic week, but after No. 6 sophomore Billy Buchbinder’s win in singles gave the Lions a late 5-4 win over Christian Newport, Rochester won the majority of doubles sets and tied the College in singles for a 5-4 win of its own.

Buchbinder, No. 2 sophomore Pierce

Photos courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

Cooper and the top doubles set of Cooper and senior Howard Telson won points in both games, while No. 5 freshman Mike Stanley and Telson went 1-1 for the week.

The men’s team plays again on Thursday, April 3, in a match against Drew University, while the women take on Stevens Institute of Technology on Saturday, April 5, and Franklin & Marshall College on Sunday, April 6.

page 22 The Signal April 2, 2014

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fun stuff The Thought of the Week:

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 23

I wonder who finished the Windsor knot first. ...I bet it was a TIE!

What Just Happened with How I Met Your Mother?

Fun Facts with Morgan Freeman •In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of five times around the equator.

•The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.

•Rhode Island is the smallest state with the longest name. The official name, used on all state documents, is “Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.”

•Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

You know you read these in my voice.

For those of us who watched since day one (or who started watching later and re-watched every episode multiple times), How I Met Your Mother was a show that definitely left its mark. It was the story of five friends moving through life in a way that made us all look forward to the days when we could be, at any given moment, hanging out and generally being Awesome, or Legend-(wait for it), all the while telling multiple love stories with all the twists and turns that real love stories can take.

It was, to put it simply, a show about growing up, REALLY growing up, once you’ve already hit the real world and have real problems, and about the different paths you can take once you get there. Oh, right, can’t forget the DARY! Anyway. The series finale just ended, and those of us watching have mixed emotions, to put it gently. (Heavy Spoilers incoming, by the way.)

See, in the finale it is revealed that the titular Mother, whose name was finally revealed as Tracy, had been dead for six years before Ted started telling his story, and the episode ends with his kids telling him to go get Robin, who has long since divorced Barney. Given that the final scene was filmed years ago, this was always the plan. It was a sad ending to a happy show, but maybe that was kind of the point.

The show was about real life, the last lesson it had to teach us was that sometimes an ending isn’t all happy.

page 24 The Signal April 2, 2014

FALL 2014 REGISTRATION APPOINTMENT PERIOD Initial Registration Period for Undergraduate and Graduate Students

Tuesday, April 1 Through Friday, April 11 

Your enrollment appointment reflecting the first time you will be eligible to register for Fall 2014 semester can be accessed via your PAWS account. To view your scheduled enrollment appointment, visit the Enrollment Appointment section in the PAWS Student Center. Once eligible, students remain eligible throughout the registration period. Undergraduate Students who do not register by 11:59pm on Sunday, April 13th will be subject to a late registration fine. Graduate students have until 11:59pm on July 15th: Late Registration Fine Undergraduate: $150 Graduate: $125



The Fall 2014 Schedule of Classes is available on PAWS and can be viewed by using the Search for Classes button.



Visit the PAWS HELP website for complete information on how to log-in to PAWS, search for classes, browse the Course Catalog, view your Holds, add courses to your Shopping Cart, and register for classes: http://pawshelp.pages.tcnj.edu/



Use the Validate feature directly from your PAWS Shopping Cart to check for potential pre-requisite issues before registration! For more information on the Validate feature, visit: http://pawshelp.pages.tcnj.edu/files/2011/07/validate.pdf



Check PAWS early and frequently for Holds that will prevent you from registering. All Hold Flag information can be viewed under the Holds section in the PAWS Student Center.

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Access your Academic Requirements Report on PAWS to view your degree requirements via the Advising Tools link.

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Make an appointment to see your advisor to discuss your Academic Requirements Report. Your advisor’s name and email address can be located in your PAWS Student Center.

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Double-check call numbers and course sections prior to your registration appointment for schedule changes and periodic updates.



Graduate Students: If you are a non-matriculant who is applying for Fall matriculation, you should not register during this timeframe. If accepted for matriculation, you will be invited to register during one of the Graduate Studies summer orientation sessions.

THE OFFICE OF RECORDS AND REGISTRATION EXTENDED HOURS DURING THIS REGISTRATION PERIOD Tuesday, April 1 through Friday, April 11 7:30 AM – 5:00 PM

more fun stuff

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 25

What is your (April Fool’s Day) TCNJ Name?

First Name

A- Rat B-Eick C- Loser D- Giant E- Gleaming F- Multicolored G- Balls H- The I- New J- Big K- LibCaf L- Roscoe M- College N- Lion O- C-Store P- Cop Q- Signal R- Mixed

S- All T- CUB U- Stud V- Of W- Jersey X- Larry Y- Packer Z- Decker

Last Name

A- Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious B- Eggplant C- Woolly D- Mammoth E- Bazinga F- Howyoudoin G- Shrute H- Legend I- Waitforit J- DARY K- EpiphanyToilet L- Thatswhatshesaid M- Flamingos N- Fudge O- Winner P- JingleJangle Q- Twerking

R- Percolate S- BubbleBuddy T- Marshmallow U- Cosmos V- Mulch W- Knickerbockers X- Winston Y- Flabbergast Z- Jitters

page 26 The Signal April 2, 2014

SC&I Graduate Programs Open House April 17, 2014 • 6:30 p.m.

Alexander Library, 4th Floor

More than a program — your path to career success!

It’s not too late to start earning your master’s degree this fall! Our programs focus on bridging theory and practice so you can learn to be more strategic in your actions in the workplace — and more successful in your career.

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Attend in person or online via live stream. Find out more and register now at comminfo.rutgers.edu/tcnj.

Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey

4 6

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 27

LIONS

AROUND THE

DORM 5 3

Andrew Grossman “The Ref”

Pete Fiorilla

Gabe Allen

Sports Editor

Staff Writer

Matt Bowker Staff Writer

In this week’s Around the Dorm, the “Ref,” Andrew Grossman, asks our expert panel three questions: what have been the best and worst teams in NFL free agency so far, who left in March Madness — Kentucky, Connecticut, Wisconsin or Florida — will ultimately win the tournament, and will the 76ers ever win a game?

1. Who has been the best and the worst team in NFL free agency so far?

Gabe: It’s hard to argue with the way the Broncos have gone about strengthening their squad through the opening weeks of free agency, as they bolstered their shaky defense by signing safety T.J. Ward and bringing in DeMarcus Ware after the Cowboys questionably decided to waive him from their roster. Further, they signed former Pittsburgh Steelers WR Emmanuel Sanders to join Wes Welker, Demaryius Thomas and Julius Thomas, and replace Eric Decker alongside who signed with the New York Jets. While they lost Knowshon Moreno to the Miami Dolphins and may need to target a running back in the draft or free agency, the Broncos have put together a team that’s going to maximize what might be Peyton Manning’s final season in the NFL. Peter: The Buccaneers aren’t a sexy team to highlight, but they have added a ton of talented players to their roster this offseason on reasonable deals, and GM Jason Licht should

AP Photo

be applauded for taking a big step toward making the playoffs. The biggest addition is QB Josh McCown, who had a passer rating of 109 last season, but there’s been improvement across the board: the offensive line has been bolstered with veteran center Evan DietrickSmith and left tackle Anthony Collins, who

can make the team’s difficulties protecting the QB a thing of the past, while the defense can improve with players like premier rusher Michael Johnson and former Seahawks tackle Clinton McDonald. The Cowboys have had the worst offseason, obviously — letting their best defensive player go after one of the worst

defensive seasons in history is so Jerry Jones.

Matt: The Denver Broncos are the clear winner of free agency so far, and it’s not even close.

After giving up 43 points in the Super Bowl, the Broncos realized they cannot win with just a record-setting offense. They got a first-hand look at how dominant defenses win championships. So John Elway and the Broncos went out and signed star defensive end Demarcus Ware, safety T.J. Ward, and cornerback Aqib Talib. These acquisitions, along with the return of all-pro linebacker Von Miller from injury, will sure up Denver’s defensive problems. The biggest loser of NFL free agency is Carolina Panthers. The Panthers let three-time All-Pro wide receiver Steve Smith walk in free agency.

At 35 years old, losing Smith might not seem like the biggest loss. However, the Panthers also failed to resign fellow receivers Ted Ginn Jr. and Brandon Lafell. The Panthers lost their top three recievers, and their answer is Jericho Cotchery and Marvin McNutt? If that’s not a loss, I don’t know what is.

Peter wins for not picking the obvious choice, Matt gets 2 points for mentioning the Panthers’ woes, and Gabe gets one for pointing out the Emmanuel Sanders acquisition.

AP Photo

2) Who will win March Madness?

Gabe: In what has arguably been the maddest March in recent history, I expect the SEC’s Florida Gators and Kentucky Wildcats to advance to the championship game. Florida has been mostly untested so far in the tournament due to their dominant defensive prowess. If

Connecticut’s Shabazz Napier can get it going early and often and the Huskies can find a way to consistently score against the Gator D, they could very well advance to the final, as Florida’s main question mark is offensive consistency. They’re a deep offensive group but they don’t have a Napier like UConn who they can

feed when they need a bucket. On the other side of the draw, Wisconsin and Kentucky should be an outstanding game. Wisconsin is smart, they shoot the lights out, don’t turn the ball over and they’re well-coached, but Kentucky is just on fire right now and they’ve clearly hit their stride at the right time. The preseason No. 1 team might be too talented for the Badgers, who lack the same depth of NBA talent that the Wildcats possess. If center Willie Cauley-Stein is able to return to the Wildcat lineup he could be the difference in this one and in the Finals when they take on the Florida Gators. Given how many top teams they’ve taken down on their road to the Final Four, and with Cauley-Stein potentially making his return, I have to pick the Julius Randle-led Kentucky Wildcats to capture the championship this year.

Peter: Anyone in the final four could win it all this year, but Florida has to be the favorite: The top-seeded Gators haven’t lost since Dec. 2 and have won their four games in the NCAA Tournament by an average of 12.25 points, the largest margin of any team. Their relatively

low-seeded opponents haven’t been marshmallows, either, and it took real quality to dispatch Dayton by double digits. This is a team that doesn’t have any household names but a lot of talent, and is the most likely of any Final Four team to take home this year’s title.

Matt: I stick with my original pick — Florida will win the National Championship. Coach Billy Donovan has already won it all twice before and has his team playing very well.

Donovan has the experience and talent to lead this team to a third championship in the past decade, the most of any program in that span.

While Kentucky’s John Calipari may be the best coach remaining, Kentucky has many inexperienced freshmen, which could come back to hurt them. Florida has won all of their games so far by at least 10 points and is the only remaining team that has not given up 70 points in a game. I expect Florida’s balanced attack and strong defense to stop Shabazz Napier’s hot streak and cruise into the final. When all is said and done, Donovan’s Gators will be cutting down the net in Dallas.

Matt wins for mentioning Billy Donovan’s previous success, Gabe gets 2 points for highlighting Florida’s defensive talents, and Peter gets one for bringing up the Gator’s winning streak.

3. The Sixers cannot win a game. What much guarantees the Bucks will finish with the changes, if there are any, can they make to league’s worst record. With falling to the worst end the losing streak? record in the league all but an impossibility, I Gabe: The Philadelphia 76ers signed up for wouldn’t be too surprised to see Brett Brown these exact results when they traded point coach them to another win before the season guard Jrue Holiday, the youngest All-Star in is over, but I certainly wouldn’t bet on it either. their franchise’s storied history. They replaced Peter: The Sixers ended up winning a game.

Doug Collins with Greg Popovich understudy Congratulations, guys.

Brett Brown, a vastly superior coach, but short Matt: The 76ers are a disgrace. There is nothof playing Thaddeus Young 48 minutes a game ing they can do — no changes that can be made or Commissioner Silver issuing the Sixers a at this point in the season — that can help this replacement schedule down the stretch laced team win. After trading away Jrue Holiday in with the Milwaukee Bucks and Los Angeles the offseason and Spencer Hawes, Evan Turner Lakers, Philadelphia has little chance at win- and Lavoy Allen at the trade deadline, the Sixning another game this season. It’s not that the ers are left with a roster of should-be NBA Dplayers aren’t giving 110 percent every night — League players. Seriously, as a fan of the NBA, they are. The fact is that GM Sam Hinkie had can anyone name a Sixers player, not name Mia plan and executed it. Not only did he trade chael Carter-Williams. I get the idea of tanking, Holiday, he also rid the team of anyone who but the Sixers have taken it to a whole new level. was a decent, legitimate NBA player (Spencer They’re not even trying to win games anymore.

Hawes, Evan Turner) and wasn’t in the long- Just take a look at that roster. Twenty-six straight term plans of the team. This was the plan along losses, a league record, is pitiful. And they don’t for Hinkie and company, and while he was even have the worst record in the league. The probably happy to see his 76ers get a win for Milwaukee Bucks are two games worse than the first time in two months, albeit against the them. The Sixers should and will continue their disastrous Detroit Pistons, that win puts Philly losing ways in order to have a better chance at two games ahead of Milwaukee and pretty the No. 1 pick in this year’s draft.

Peter wins for pointing out the obvious, Gabe gets 2 points for discussing the 76ers longterm plans, and Matt gets 1 point for mentioning that Philadelphia needs a lot of help.

Peter wins Around the Dorm, 7-6-5

AP Photo

page 28 The Signal April 2, 2014

April 2, 2014 The Signal page 29 Lacrosse

Staying composed / Lax satisfied with results Lions playing ‘for each other’ in win streak continued from page 32

Photo courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

The Lions extend their undefeated streak to eight games.

“Our defense works incredibly hard all year round, and it always shows during game time,” Borup said. “Every girl on the defensive end works to make the other girls better, and they function as one unit rather than seven individual players. This year, both of our goalies are freshmen, and they’ve done a great job backing up our defense.”

With the game out of reach in the second period, the College threw on another half-dozen goals, highlighted by two from Borup. Garavente ended the day with four goals, Waller had three goals and three assists and Borup had three dimes to go with her two goals.

“I think a win like that says we are a team that always remains composed no matter what the situation is and that we always perform at our level of play,” Garavente said. “I think we were the more talented team against Eastern, but it was important that we played like that

regardless of the score. If we can walk off the field with a win in addition to being satisfied with both the defense and attack and our lack of mistakes, it always makes for a better day.”

Freshmen goalies Kelly Schlupp and Catherine Killian each played a half of scoreless lacrosse, recording the team’s first shutout of the season.

On the horizon, the Lions travel to Ramapo College on Tuesday, April 1, looking to keep their winning streak alive. For the team, experience is going to be key into making that happen.

“A good majority of the girls on the field are juniors and seniors, so we all remember losing in the elite eight to Trinity College last spring,” Borup said.

“That loss taught us a lot and is now one of the driving factors in our competitive spirit. Now we all play with the same goal in mind and work as a team to make it happen. We’ve been winning because all of the girls support each other and play for each other.”

Cheap Seats

Northwestern suit a watershed moment

By Kevin Luo Staff Writer

This past week, we witnessed a monumental moment in the history of college athletics: the Northwestern Football Team won their case in the Chicago District of the National Labor Relations Board and were ruled to be employees of the university. This can be the first step in college athletes being paid and being deemed employees.

The debate over whether college athletes from revenue-generating sports — Division I football and basketball — are employees and deserve to be paid has been one of the biggest hot-button issues in college sports for years. The NCAA is a multi-billion dollar business every year and almost everyone that helps generate that revenue gets a piece of that multi-billion dollar pie. Mark Emmert, the President of the NCAA, made about $1.7 million last year. The universities with big-time football and basketball programs generate hundreds of millions of dollars worth of revenue a year.

The only people who aren’t getting any of that pie are the players, the life blood of the NCAA. Without the quality players, the NCAA and all that money could not survive. Some claim that these college athletes are fairly compensated because they get a college scholarship and the opportunity to get a quality education.

I’m saying that scholarship is not enough. There are students who receive free or cheaper educations who don’t make a dime for their universities. This includes students on academic scholarships, music scholarships and athletic scholarships from sports that aren’t revenue generators.

Another aspect of the lives of these athletes is their lack of opportunities to have any extra cash inflow. Division I college basketball and football players both spend about 40 hours a week on average just on athletic-related activities — it’s a full-time job. These athletes don’t have time for a part-time job like normal college students. There are

The Northwestern football team’s lawsuit could change or even destroy the NCAA.

also rules restricting how much money student athletes can make at their parttime jobs.

It also must be pointed out the demographic discrepancies between these athletes and normal college students: A large percentage of college basketball and football players are minorities and a lot of them come from poorer families.

Many of these athletes often don’t have the luxury of their parents being able to send them a little extra money here or there because their families are so financially limited.

Some of the top-notch athletes in these sports have a market value in the hundreds of thousands to even millions. I’m not saying these athletes should make anywhere near that kind

of money in college, but they deserve a little extra in terms of a stipend to help with miscellaneous expenses. There’s no reason these athletes — who help generate so much money — cannot afford to go out and get a burger or go see a movie with their friends.

It’s foolish to think these athletes are simply amateur student athletes. The NCAA is being extremely hypocritical by emphasizing them as students first even though some of their largest revenue generators like March Madness or the College Football Bowl season can have players missing such significant chunks of semesters. They also allow student athletes to major in easier topics that will not help the overwhelming majority of them who do not become professional athletes to get a job or become useful members of society after

AP Photo

they graduate.

These athletes are obviously employees. As of now, groups trying to advocate for these players’ rights like Northwestern are not even asking for pay. They just want to be considered employees and be allowed to unionize and collectively bargain for better rights and benefits. The scholarships of these athletes are not guaranteed for all four years. They are evaluated on a year-to-year basis. If a player suffers an injury that prevents them from playing, they could lose their scholarship.

They also have no post-college protection if they face problems after their playing career due to issues from their years at the school. At the very least, these athletes should be able to bargain for better rights and benefits but this probably will and should lead to them getting paid.

page 30 The Signal April 2, 2014

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April 2, 2014 The Signal page 31

ports Week In Review AP Photo

Like us on Facebook to follow the College’s breaking news.

Number of wins per season Women’s Tennis 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 0

Follow @TCNJSignal on Twitter to get all the latest updates and more!

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Check out the new and improved Signal web page!

Team total: 204 Alex Spark 53 Jillian Nealon 35 Jen Garavente 34 Lauren Pigott 23 Erin Waller 20 Kendal Borup 11 Lauren Karpovich 9

ST U D E N T AT H L E TE O F

THE WEEK Pierce Cooper Men’s Tennis

Went 4-0 on the weekend

Sophomore Pierce Cooper had a spectacular weekend, winning both of his matches at No. 1 doubles and No. 2 singles against Christopher Newport University and University of Rochester. Cooper was

the only Lion to go undefeated on the weekend as the men finished with a team record of 1-1.

The Horizon For

Sports Baseball April 3 & 4 vs. Rutgers University-Newark, 3:30 p.m.

April 5 vs. Kean University (DH), 11:30 a.m.

April 6 @ New Jersey City University (DH), 11:30 a.m.

Softball April 5 @ Kean University (DH), 1 p.m.

April 8 @ Rutgers-Camden (DH), 3 p.m.

Women’s Lacrosse April 4 vs. Franklin & Marshall College, 6 p.m.

April 8 vs. Rowan University, 7 p.m.

This week’s picks from the staff

(NBA) Clippers Point leaders vs. Mavericks

(NHL) Kings

vs. Sharks

(NHL) Rangers (NCAAM) March

vs. Avalanche Madness Champs

Track & Field April 3-5 Colonial Relays

Chris Molicki 4 Julie Kayzerman 4

Men’s Tennis April 3 @ Drew University, 4:30 p.m.

April 6 vs. Franklin & Marshall College, 1 p.m.

Andrew Grossman 3 Mike Herold 3

Women’s Tennis April 5 vs. Stevens Institute of Technology, 12 p.m.

April 6 vs. Franklin & Marshall College, 11 a.m.

Amy Reynolds 3 Peter Fiorilla 2

?

Signal Trivia

?

What is Japan’s national sport?

AP Photo

Last week’s Signal Trivia Answer:

Despite the United States hosting 24 of the 30 current National Hockey League teams, all NHL jerseys are actually manufactured in Canada.

18

Signal

Sports

Lax shows opponents to the loss column Lions unchallenged so far in dominant start

By Chris Molicki Managing Editor

At some point this season, the Lions expect that they’ll be faced with a challenge. So far, they haven’t gotten one.

It was another week of domination for the No. 5 lacrosse team, as they took out Ursinus College and Eastern University by the scores of 18-7 and 18-0, respectively, to give them an eight-game winning streak to start the season.

“I am so proud of my teammates and the way we have maintained our winning streak,” senior attacker Jen Garavente said. “I think the biggest reason why we have been able to play like this is because we have brought everything we have learned in practice each day and applied it to our games.”

In their game with Ursinus on Tuesday, March 25, the Lions (8-0) encountered an early test from their foes. While they did jump out to an early 4-1 lead — thanks to goals from sophomore attacker Cortney Natalicchio, Garavente and a pair from senior midfielder Lauren Pigott — the Bears answered.

Scoring three goals in the same time the College scored one, Ursinus made the score 5-4 with halftime looming. However, the Lions were determined to put distance between them, as they powered

Photo courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

Junior midfielder Lauren Karpovich collects five ground balls.

in five unanswered goals to make it 10-4 at the break.

Another three scores in the opening minutes of the second half had the College smelling blood. Junior attackers Kendal Borup and Erin Waller both netted a goal,

as did Garavente, making it 13-4.

While many may have thought the game was over, Ursinus had one last rally, making the margin smaller at 15-7. However, a trio of goals by the College put them away, reflecting the final score.

“Ursinus fought relentlessly until the last whistle, but I think what kept us at a distance was our composure,” Borup said. “As a team, we are very levelheaded and perform well under pressure, so whenever it seemed like Ursinus was gaining momentum, we were able to stay confident and poised while we worked to get possession back.”

Borup and Garavente were both brilliant. The two had five goals — with Garavente dishing out two assists as well.

Pigott also had a big impact on the game as well, scoring four times and picking up an assist.

“We are a team that really strives for the plays where we can make those passing connections, so the assists are something we definitely celebrate and value and it’s important to give credit to both players that made the goal possible,” Garavente said.

In the game against Eastern, not only were the Eagles denied a goal, but they also couldn’t even attempt a shot.

A 12-goal flurry in the first period showed that the Lions weren’t messing around. Junior attacker Ava Fitzgerald scored three straight goals that were sandwiched by two pairs of goals by Waller and Garavente. see LAX page 29

Baseball rallies for a fifth straight win Volpe shuts Ursinus down following first

the first, Volpe went on to pitch five scoreless innings, striking out two batters and allowing only four hits for the win.

Coming off a rough outing at Muhlenberg University in his last start, Volpe said he worked on “keeping (his) fastball lower in the

zone and throwing more strikes.”

“I didn’t try to do too much,” Volpe said. “I just let (Ursinus) put the ball in play and I trusted my fielders behind me.”

At the plate, the Lions managed an impressive 11 hits on the day. Junior infielders Josh Limon and Anthony Cocuzza led the way with three hits apiece. The Lions took advantage of Ursinus’s mistakes, scoring their first run on an error in the second inning, and later tacking on a run on a passed ball in the third inning.

The game on Thursday, March 27, was one of four scheduled for the College last week, but due to windy conditions, the home match on Wednesday, March 26, against Alvernia was moved to Tuesday, April 8. The Lions were set to begin conference play Saturday with a doubleheader at New Jersey City University, but the game was rained out and has been rescheduled to Sunday, April 6. The Lions will

now open up NJAC play this Thursday, April 3, when they welcome Rutgers-Newark to George Ackerman Park.

“We move into the start of our conference games and every game is going to be tough,” head coach Dean Glus said. “If we can do the little things right, we should be fine and at the end of the season I expect us to be in the hurt for the conference tournament playoffs.”

The College has a jam-packed schedule of games this week, putting their win streak on the line with a home tilt with Widener University on Tuesday, April 1.

The Lions will host the first game of a home-and-home series with Rutgers-Newark on Thursday, April 3, before heading to Newark on Friday, April 4. The Lions will conclude their hectic week with back-to-back doubleheaders against NJAC rivals over the weekend, hosting Kean University and New Jersey City University.

College football’s big lawsuit page 29

GMs are genuinely terrible page 21

Tennis stays the course page 29

Photo courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

Volpe puts in six solid innings as the Lions rattle off another win.

By Matt Bowker Staff Writer

The baseball team improved its win streak to five games on Thursday, April 3, with a 6-1 victory over Ursinus College.

After surrendering a run in

Lions’ Lineup April 2, 2014

I n s i d e

the first inning, the Lions roared back to score six unanswered runs to secure the victory. On the mound, sophomore pitcher Steven Volpe had another stellar outing, picking up his second victory on the young season. Despite giving up an RBI-single in

46 53 Around the Dorm page 27

April 1, 1985 The Singal page 323

Farts & Entertainment

Disney couldn’t let go with release of ‘Freezing’

AP Photos

Streep and Jackman play the roles of Gitenstein and Muha.

By Jonni Hoaxville Cinema Master

Inspired by the box-office smash hit “Frozen,” Disney has released a live-action feature film called “Freezing,” which was shot entirely on the College’s campus.

The story centers on the harsh winter that we have experienced over the past few months.

Barbara Gitenstein (played with ferocious tenacity by Oscar-winner

Meryl Streep) teams up with David Muha (a charming Hugh Jackman) to break into Roscoe West and find the source of who has been causing this disastrously harsh winter.

“Playing Gitenstein is a dream come true for me,” Streep said during an on-campus interview.

“I had to do a lot of extensive research, and I shadowed her for a few weeks leading up to shooting.

The thing about Gitenstein is … she has this humility about her.

Even in her strongest moments she is utterly human. She is exactly the kind of iconic female role I strive to play.”

In the film, Gitenstein and Muha travel across the campus in search of help to destroy whatever is living within Roscoe West.

Along the way, infamous Eick worker Eve Cruz (played

by Eve Cruz herself) joins them and uses her brilliantly colored scarf to fend off the cold.

Meanwhile, students are locked in their dorm rooms and desperately searching for answers.

Every so often, Muha sends out a mass email to tell the students that everything is going OK. “Muha is one of a kind. Really. It’s an honor to play him,” Jackman said during a press conference last Thursday.

The film is a four-hour epic that was shot entirely on campus.

What carries the story, however, is the chemistry between Streep and Jackman. Their characters

develop such an unbreakable bond of friendship throughout the script, and it reminds us all that even in the darkest of times, humanity shines through.

Cruz provides excellent comic relief as her charming, caring self. While Gitenstein and Muha often get wrapped up in the logistics of things, Cruz remains grounded in her passion and love for the College students.

“Playing myself wasn’t too hard,” Cruz said. “I just had to imagine what would really happen if a bunch of snow took over campus. I would do anything for my kids.”

By the end of the film, you will surely be pleased and overwhelmed with emotion. There is not a doubt in my mind that Streep will earn yet another Oscar for her powerful portrayal.

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

‘Freezing’ features the College as a winter wonderland.

Muha-ha-ha brings weather control to the Rat

Michael Cort / Staff Photographer

Class of 2017 flock the Rat stage and praise The Muha-ha-has.

By Silvia Sterling Farts and Entertainment Boss

A sea of powdered blue shirts leaked out of the Rathskeller on Friday, March 28, in a blizzard of a moshpit, The Muha-ha-has.

The Class of 2017 rushed toward the stage

like a horizontal blizzard as the three members of The Muha-ha-has sneaked in through the backdoor of the Rathskeller.

Frontman and lead guitarist, Darrell Darling, held up his arms in defense as he walked onstage.

“Whoa there, my little snowflakes,”

Darling said.

It seemed like overnight the trio became campus heroes.

“We started out just as spokesmen doing the weather, and then as a joke we told our viewers that if we played songs dealing with snow that class would be cancelled due to snow,” bassist Steve Sigs said. “Now we just perform the songs ourselves.”

The Muha-ha-has perfectly predicted the randomized closing or delayed opening of the College due to snow 14 times.

“We don’t guarantee that it will snow,” Darling said. “We just certify that class will be cancelled due to impending snow.”

The alternative-indie group first performed a cover of “Let it Snow,” by Vaughn Monroe’s — a throwback performance to their first weather prediction.

For many, the song brought back memories of sleeping in and procrastinating.

“The Muha-ha-has has greatly impacted the way I live my life,” freshman English and

secondary education dual major Aby Denting said. “When I hear their voice come on the radio, I just instantly relax. It is like they discovered the loophole for a 25th hour in the day or something.”

The audience, dressed in “I am SNOWFLAKE” T-shirts — designed by the freshman class — rocked out four more cover songs including, “School’s Out for Summer”

by Alice Cooper and “Here Comes the Sun” written by George Harrison.

“Mother nature has a lot of impact on which songs we cover for our venues,” drummer Wiki Clog said.

After the show, many students followed the group out, thanking them for the snow days.

However, a small group lingered behind.

“I am indifferent about them,” freshman bio-chemistry major Hailey Hatter said. “I mean they sound great as a band and all, but my orgo test keeps getting pushed back. I have been studying for the same test for over a month now. I am ready to move on.”

Secret concert excites the College crowd

By Dloreh Ekim Same Name Advocate

Packer Hall rocked this past weekend, as the College hosted its second annual “Secret Show” at the pool Saturday evening, March 29.

Performing on a stage built across the diving boards and starting platforms, the band Way, No Way, known for their recent underground music tours and their hit single, “I Wanna Be More than Friends, Rach,” put on a stunning performance, getting the crowd going.

“It was probably the best show I’ve ever been to,” sophomore musical theater major Joseph Tribbiani said. “And I’ve been to about five pool shows alone, so that’s really saying

something. These guys rolled!”

Considering the underground nature of the event, many students found themselves unable to find the show, instead hitting the Rat and pretending that this was the show they originally meant to attend.

“I definitely didn’t want to go to the lousy other show,” senior barista major Gunther Perk said.

“I don’t even know where it is.

Can you tell me? Not that I want to go to it, I’m just curious.”

At one point, the show had to be stopped to allow for some adjustments to the audio, which was behaving oddly in the pool area. Luckily, the band was able to keep the show going by turning off the sound system (which had drawn the ire of campus police and one older

man wearing a nightgown and slippers) and simply performing their electric instruments without the system. Several students in attendance called it “the most rocker thing they could have done,” while others complained that it no longer sounded like music.

The band’s rocking attitudes fortunately did not end in any arrests, as the show had a strict no-drinking policy, but the group still encountered some problems with the student population.

“This one idiot jumped into the pool to try getting closer to us,” lead singer Ross “The Holiday Armadillo” Geller said. “And then everyone else did it. Definitely the wettest mosh pit I’ve ever seen, and we once performed in a swamp during a thunderstorm.

Yeah, we’re that cool.”

Those looking out for the next “Secret Show” should be on the lookout for ads concerning

tryouts for sports teams that do not exist, such as the racquetball team. Follow the ads, they will lead you to the party!

Courtney Wirths / Photo Editor

Students pack into Packer and dive into the pool during set.

Singal Sports

Silver confirms NBA is a sham league Jordan still has more rings than LeBron

By Slippery Sal’ Bingo aficionado

Bad news, pro basketball fans. We are still in the first few months of new NBA commissioner Adam Silver’s rule, and already the level-headed king is making his mark on the league. Here’s why that’s bad: The NBA is no longer an actual professional sports organization and is being reformed as what Silver calls “A Fun-time Showcase League … you know, like the WWE!” The decision comes on the heels of a long-term investigation into the state of the league, which Silver apparently began in secret during last season while past Commissioner David Stern still ruled the league with an iron fist. Silver claimed that although his findings became somewhat conclusive during last year’s playoffs, he could not make a move while Stern still held office, due to “safety concerns.”

“David’s an old guy who’d been in charge for a very long time,” said the head of what has been called the “NBA: Giant or Joke?” commission, Shaq A. Claus. “We were worried that if we

Silver is making some changes after Stern earlier this year.

published our study while he was still in office, he might do something really crazy, like sell every other team and just make the Knicks and Lakers play

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each other for the title in a best-of-81 series year after year. Yeah, he could have done it.”

The results of the study found that the

NBA contained far too many ridiculous things, like owners and GMs who had no concept of how “basketball” or “money” actually worked, superstar players who complained after every call, blatant traveling on every single play and an overabundance of stupid nicknames.

As a result, the new NBA will be formed, which will feature teams playing each other with less formal rules and regulations, and will consistently pit a team of super-duperstars against a team filled with college backups. It will somewhat resemble the shows put on by the Harlem Globetrotters, only with less humorous antics and much more crooked officiating, since not even Silver could convince the league to change the way plays are called.

Of course, not every team is joining the new league.

“We’re not taking the (San Antonio) Spurs or the (Dallas) Mavericks,” Silver said. “Because Pop said no and he scares me, and we figured this might be our best chance to finally kick Ol’ Pubes Cubes out of the league.”

But don’t mourn, NBA fans — Kobe says he’s coming back soon!

Ollamalizti returns Scalabrine into Hall Ancient tribes rejoice ILU White Mamba!! :)

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Quetzalcoatl, the serpent god.

By Jonathon Tats ;) Editor

The College announced Sunday that they will be attempting to revive the sport of Ōllamaliztli, an ancient Mesoamerican game that involves trying to get a ball through a hoop using only one’s hips, for the 2014 winter season.

There have been nine failed attempts

Sloots’ Lineup April 2, 2014

I n s i d e

to make the game a college sport since the sport’s inception in 14,000 B.C. but none of those attempts were spearheaded by the diligent folks of the College Athletics Department.

“I have full confidence in their ability to (unintelligible gibberish — we think there were some swears in here somewhere),” said sports historian Yuri Giorgovin in a drunken stupor inside a Trenton bar. Giorgovin proceeded to give two thumbs up before vomiting profusely at his feet.

“Oh, if they do that they’d be preserving a bit of culture many thought dead and buried,” said Sue D. O’Neem, who claimed she’s a history professor.

With such esteemed individuals backing the efforts of our athletics department, it’s hard to understand why some people may have misgivings about the sport’s introduction to the College, but such naysayers exist.

“It just doesn’t work out,” said former college coach Conrad Schmidthy on the subject. “It’s that silly rule — it just ruins it.”

The rule to which Schmidthy refers to is the ancient tradition of using the winning team as a sacrifice to the great serpent god Quetzalcoatl.

The real mamba.

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By Patrik Elias Rags Killer

This upcoming NBA Hall of Fame class has some very good former players, including Alonzo Mourning and Tim Hardaway.

Although these two former Heat stars had tremendous NBA careers, the headliner of this class is “The White Mamba,” Brian Scalabrine. Drafted in the second round of the draft by the New Jersey Nets out of USC, Scalabrine was a big man with tremendous potential.

Scal was born and raised in Long Beach see SACRIFICE page 666 California and that’s where his basketball

career started. He was a street-ball legend in his area known for his height, dazzling ball-handling ability and silky-smooth jump shot. He became a star around the country once he made it to the NBA. When he first got to the league, he was seen as a one-dimensional player, just a spot up stretch big man. In his first couple of seasons, he averaged about 12 points per game and shot about 45 percent from beyond the arc. He bumped his average up to 18 points per game in his final season in New Jersey.

When Scal signed with Boston, he really flourished into a superstar. Coach Doc Rivers was begging the front office to give him a second star player to play with Paul Pierce. Little did he know that Scalabrine would become the star. In his first season, Rivers was forced to run his offense through Scal when Pierce got injured early in the season. He ran the fast break, dominated the post and rained jump shots from anywhere inside the half-court line. Scal led the league that season with 30 points per game, started his first all star game, and finished second in the MVP voting.

For the rest of his tenure in Boston, fans chanted MVP for Scalabrine and made comparisons to Celtics legend Larry Bird. see WHITE MAMBA on page 1

46 53 Around the Dorm page 27

Jim stays jacked page 32

“Henrique! Henrique! It’s over!” page 2013

Like this article for a truth page 35